Transcript
Speaker: Hello and welcome to Kalerinden, the Highland Chronicles.
Speaker: Caleranden is an actual play Dungeons & Dragons podcast in which we will actually play Dungeons & Dragons as a podcast. My name is David Case LeClaire, and I will be the narrator and game master for these sessions.
Speaker: Caleranden is a world of magic and adventure. A world of ancient artisans, forlorn farriers, and senescent swordsmiths.
Speaker: It is a world perpetually beset by the forces of chaos, but every time the darkness returns, epic heroes rise to save the realm. But our story is not about the epic heroes, at least not directly.
Speaker: Our story is about three moderately experienced adventurers as they negotiate with the ghosts in the ruined city of Myrfancia. And joining me as the Hardy Hirelings, we have Beth Gleason as... I play Lilia Thomas.
Speaker: And when things get bad for Lilia, she repeats to herself, I am the storm. I the storm.
Speaker: And Drew Gleason as... A Darwinius Gorf Nozzle Snot. Mama Gorf Always Tell Snot. Night. Night. is always darker than the day.
Speaker: It's very true. Wise words. And Dave Sergis as... I am playing Fredegar, the firbolg farmer who is now gained renown as the turnip guy.
Speaker: Fred has heard quite a few clever sayings over the years, like experience is the comb that life gives a bald man, although Fred is maybe the one of the least bald men you could meet.
Speaker: But I would say the saying that Fred understands the most is, you reap what you sow. Very wise. He gets that one on multiple levels. And all of those sayings will be relevant in our upcoming adventure.
Speaker: I just know that because I'm from the future. The best time to plant the turnip was 40 to 90 days ago. The second best time is now. Is that had another proverb?
Speaker: I was overdoing on the turnip, so I left that one out. Oh, okay.
Speaker: In our last episode, the hardy hireling's long quest through the ruined city of Myrfancia was finally yielding some Q4 results. They acquired the lost signet stone of Myrfancia from the ghost of Jabroni Maximal in the crypts of Ardentia Abbey and a magical table knife from the smithy of Barmy Bangborn. Now reunited with the epic heroes, they must find a way out of the city before their Fomorian pursuers can catch them.
Speaker: As you step back out into the street, you hear the sounds of battle much closer. And not just the sounds of battle, you hear the sounds of Topaz screaming, They got reinforcements! Run back to the plaza!
Speaker: oh Behind, you see Talonvor. He's running down the street as well. He's quite a bit further back, and past him, there are a number of large purple elves, which many of us call Fulmar, in pursuit.
Speaker: Talonvor is dodging to the left and the right as they're throwing things at him. He yells, good news! I think they're running out of javelins!
Speaker: And he's running in your direction. So, what would you guys like to do? You're going run? Uh, yeah. All right. So Topaz seems to be heading back in the direction of the plaza. Go How wide is this area they're running down?
Speaker: This area is pretty narrow. It's about, the street is maybe less than 10 feet across. Oh, wow. I think there's probably enough time for Snot to cast one spell. Pulling on his ear, he waggles his fingers in the direction that the others are running from.
Speaker: targeting an area that is behind Talambor. Yeah. He's going to try to cause vines to sprout up. Yeah. He sounds so enthused about that. Yeah.
Speaker: no no, that's actually, that is great. So we are going into a chase sequence where the Fomor will be trying to catch you as you try and race to get back to the plaza.
Speaker: In order to get back to the plaza, you'll have to have a number of successes. Let's say four successes. So the first thing that you're trying to do is to cast Entangle to try and slow down the FOMO.
Speaker: So why don't we have Snot make a nature check to see how well he can, instead of having them roll to save, let's see how, let's see how well Snot has cast the spell. Okay.
Speaker: I guess it is a little tricky because we're in a city. An overgrown city. Oh, and I did not roll well. Ten. Ten. All right. So you call out with your swampy magic.
Speaker: Feel the vines surging beneath the flagstones. They break through, but not as many vines as you would like. As flagstones crack, it just takes more effort than the vines would have liked. These are lazy vines.
Speaker: Yeah, like vines, we all have have those days, but really need help now.
Speaker: So what did you roll? 3 plus 7, so 10. It was a quite poor roll. That is a poor roll, yes. But FOMOR rolled a 5 plus 3, which is an 8.
Speaker: So that's less than your roll, right? so It's not great at math, but I'm going to step in here and say yes.
Speaker: All right. So even though the spell is not as effective as you liked and the vines are being like, oh come on, man. a We were just hanging. Because they're vines, yeah.
Speaker: They burst out of the flagstones, and they do enough to trip up the first of the Fomor scouts as they're running, which gives you one success and a little bit of an advantage as the rest of you turn and start running after Topaz.
Speaker: Townvoy's like, nice show, stop.
Speaker: All right, now you are running down the streets, following Topaz. Sharnanan is like rushing behind, trying to keep up. I'm going say if Sharnanon is in a sort of smaller, toddle-y form, I think Fred will just pick them up.
Speaker: Yeah, Sharnanon is back in their non-binary mode. They, them. So you can grab Sharnanon, toss them onto their shoulder. They're like, wee, yay!
Speaker: Fred is best. Oh, that's very kind of you to say. I want them to be whoever they want to be, but is this version of them a slower runner? Because that could be a problem.
Speaker: Certainly less useful in a fight. As the three of you with the heroes start running back towards the square, is there anything else you want to do to try to slow down the FOMO, or do you just want to make straight group athletics check to try and outrun them?
Speaker: I've only got one little juice of magic left. One little one they'll squirt. So I'm going to hang on to that, I think. What?
Speaker: How would you measure magic? It's also good nickname. Little squirt. That's what I'll call the skull.
Speaker: Oh, dear. Fred doesn't really have any clever tricks for this, so he's just going to try to run as fast as he can while carrying Charonan on. Okay. And Lily, is there anything you want to try? Quick question.
Speaker: Can the Fomor see us? Yes. So making a distraction is not going to work. Yeah, probably not. Okay. If you succeed on, let's say, a group athletics check, then you gain enough distance that they would be temporarily out of sight and you could try to make a distraction.
Speaker: and Okay. So let's go ahead and do a group athletics check. So what we're going to do is have one of you be the lead. You can choose who's going to make the lead role. And then the other two will make athletics checks, the DC of 13.
Speaker: thirteen And if you succeed, it's a plus one. If you fail, it's a minus one to the main person's role. Turnip guy is best, problem probably. Yeah, turnip guy. Okay, so turnip guy is going to make a check with a DC of 15, but Lily and Snot, why don't you guys go ahead and make athletics checks and let me know if you succeed.
Speaker: All right. I fail. No, not even. No, nope. All right, so that's going to be negative two, Brad, to your roll. I rolled an 18 plus seven is, i want to say 25. Okay. Holy crap.
Speaker: holy crap Despite the fact that Lily and Snot are not doing quite as well. you want to describe how this looks as Fred is just literally...
Speaker: even The rolls made me imagine, so Fred has Sharnanan on his shoulders. He's running as fast as he's kind of leaning forward, he's running fast, and he's basically dragging Lily and Snot. So he's got Lily in one hand, Snot in the other, and like by the arm, and he's like dragging him behind him as he's road running down the street. I thought maybe we were drafting on him, like we got into his aerodynamic way.
Speaker: Bits of stone are being kicked up by Fred's eels as he's Naruto running and straight down the that's got the blue sparks. Yeah. All right. That is the second success. So you have now gained two successes out of four.
Speaker: And if you want to try a distraction, you've turned enough corners. They've temporarily lost sight of you. This is Fred and his dad bod form. So this is extra funny looking.
Speaker: Just ripples of belly. Just...
Speaker: So i will target one of the foam more if they are that far back and cast Toll the Dead. Well, you can't, if you're out of sight of them, wouldn't be able to cast it directly them.
Speaker: Okay. And see within range. Yep. New rule in 5.5. If you're out of sight of someone, you can't see them. You laugh, but that kind of is the invisibility rule now. Okay.
Speaker: So you cannot see them because you've gotten far enough ahead of them. I can't see them, so I can't cast a spell. Exactly. Well, you can't cast a spell at them. Yes.
Speaker: Are there any other live creatures around that I can see? Make a perception check. I mean, there's snot. did not roll well.
Speaker: Twelve. There might be creatures here, but you're running so fast, like faster than, you know, you would expect as you're being pulled along behind Fred that you're not able to find anything as you glance around looking for something to, like some, I don't know, rat or bird or something to to kill.
Speaker: Yay.
Speaker: So Lily's looking around, but not finding anything. Fred or Snot, you have anything that you want to do to try and gain an advantage here or just go for another run? Ah, Snot, um... Whatever happened to that pitcher of water?
Speaker: In bag. Snot points to the bag that he's carrying over his shoulder, which is considerably slowing him down because he prefers to run on four feet. Do you think that might, uh... Oh, I don't know.
Speaker: Can't it make a huge geyser of water If we're out of sight, I suppose Snod could pause long enough to reach into the bag and try to get a hold of his new decanter.
Speaker: Yeah. Taking care not to upset the skull. It seems to be annoyed about what's happening here. ah You know, we all got problems. Yeah, you're able to rifle around in your bag.
Speaker: It's a pretty large decanter. And it's a pretty large decanter. So yeah, you grab the decanter out of the bag and you're able to do that without losing ground. Okay. ah What do you want to do with the decanter?
Speaker: I'm going to toss it to Fred. Okay. ah Fred has a person in each hand right now. Okay. Well, you probably let snot go as he was going through his bag.
Speaker: So you've got your snot hand free. Uh, thank you, sir. How does it, uh... Fred kind of shakes it experimentally. Oh, you have to take cap off.
Speaker: It's not, it's going to try and grab it from your hands. All right. And then pop the stopper off of it and tip it over so it pours out onto the ground.
Speaker: Yeah, only a small amount of water pours out. Yeah, he's going to look at Fred expectantly Let that do. Fred shakes it.
Speaker: You guys have used this before just um a day or two ago to clean the cloak. And you were given instructions that you have to say a command word. Now, I don't know how well you remember the instructions, but you you were told you can summon a splash of water, a fountain of water, or a gusher of water.
Speaker: not It's not going to suddenly his his eyes and his ears both perk up. And he's going to say, well, Gusher. He's going to turn, put his back towards the direction we're going and holding the decanter against his stomach.
Speaker: He is going to aim the mouth down the way we came. Okay. He's expecting this will propel him much faster than he could run. Well, I was going to say make a strength saving throw to keep your balance, but it sounds like you don't want to keep your balance.
Speaker: I guess not. No. So you just go with it. You unleash it. you yell Gusher. An enormous line of water just blasts out of it, thrusting you backwards in the air slightly down past Fred. And Topaz is like, what's going to do him?
Speaker: And 30 gallons of water burst forth in a 30-foot long... um I gotta use my words carefully here. LAUGHTER 30-foot long water, a line of water spurting out of the thing as it rushes in like a flood down behind you.
Speaker: So this is going to move you a little bit faster. And it's also going to delay people behind you as they're now going to have to contend with a brief flood of water coming at them. Wait, does the rest of the party become people behind Snot since he sort of jetted through them?
Speaker: i would say that most of the water is behind your whole party, but you are now in the front of the party. On my tush, I imagine. Yeah, yeah, you are prone. But you guys want to resume running? Yep.
Speaker: Talonvor has caught up to you as this is happening. He's like, all right, um, okay.
Speaker: Well done, Mr. Snot. ah Fred will scoop him up as he runs past him. Hooray for me! He was some yells behind you as there's like, Oh but no, we're getting our feet wet, they say in one more time.
Speaker: Ah, crap, we got kushed again, they seem to say. All right, we're going to count that as a third success. So you're once again running down the streets Fancy Crest trying to get back to Victory Plaza.
Speaker: Do you guys have any other ideas that you want to do or just another straight on athletics check? Fred, you see snot? Snot fly with water? sure did. That's not something you see every day.
Speaker: That is for sure. Not snotting vigorously. At least I hope not. And won't they be surprised? yeah Maybe you'll go fast again? That's the idea.
Speaker: Snot, although he's like trotting along with you, he kind of holds his arms out like like a child would to ah get picked up. Fred has no ideas beyond going fast.
Speaker: Okay. All right. So we're just running for it. So why don't we once again have Snot and Lily make a DC 12 athletics check. And then once they've succeeded or failed, Fred will make a DC 15 check.
Speaker: Is Fred actually going to pick me up? Um, I guess he can. Okay. Snot is small. Sharnanan is small. So, yeah, I think you could carry both of them. You've done it. Well, he was a muskrat at the time, but ah you could carry one of them either shoulder if you want.
Speaker: And if you do that, we'll say that you don't you don't roll for the athletics check. That is to say, Snot does not roll. Yeah, Snot. So it would just be Lily, unless Lily also wants to jump on Fred. No, but I extra want to help by rolling a one.
Speaker: Okay. Oh, no So you have critically failed, which is going to be a negative two. Yep. Pratt, pratt, pratt. It's not as tugging on your collar of your shirt.
Speaker: DC 15 with a minus two. All right. That is an 11. Plus seven is 18. Minus two. 16? Yeah.
Speaker: yeah You pass. Fred has just succeeded this time. He's putting his extra into it. He's sweating like crazies. Sharnanan's like, ew. Whoa.
Speaker: And Snod is also on his shoulder, and and you're once again helping Lily behind you as you and then Talonvor and Topaz are are keeping pace as you leave the Fomor well in the dust. You've taken enough twists and turns now that the Fomor behind you no longer seem to be in direct pursuit.
Speaker: Can we still hear him back there? No. Oh. But you've evaded the Fomor that were chasing you, but what you didn't know was Chakral, the withered, had gotten ahead of you.
Speaker: He steps out into the road in front of you. Chakral. As the group of you are rushing forward, Chakral, the Fomor, he's quite tall.
Speaker: He's got this weird, narrow legs and beefy upper body. Blackened, a long sword in his hand and a strangely large head and crooked smile. He steps forward and prepares to attack as you rush at him.
Speaker: Alright, so I don't think we need initiative for this combat since there's only one enemy. What we're gonna do is we're gonna say that Topaz and Talonvor are here to help you each round.
Speaker: You can ask them to help protect you or help attack. If they help attack, then if you hit, you'll do double damage. If they help defend, then if you get hit, you'll take half damage.
Speaker: And I guess we can make that decision as we go. So why don't we go ahead and say three of you are going in there, Fred with us, Sharnanon, and a Snot on his shoulders. And Chakral is blocking the way. He's got his sword out. He's ready to fight.
Speaker: It's going to prevent you from getting to Victory Plaza. But he is alone. So which of the three of you would like to go first? Are we commanding the heroes kind of as a unit to attack or defend?
Speaker: You can command them separately, but Sharnanan doesn't do anything. Right.
Speaker: Fred was kind of taking the lead, so he is going to, with great effort, try to rise up one last time for the day. Unsling his table, hopefully without dislodging all of his companions, and take a big old swing at Chalk Roll. Okay, so you're just rushing it. Go ahead and make an attack.
Speaker: It's not as happy to be dislodged at this point. All right, well, it's not If you want to be dislodged, you can. Yeah, if you want sort of, like, drop off of Fred as he charges forward, it's fine. Sharnan, on the other hand, has, like, gotten behind your head and it is, like, grabbing your ears and, like, trying to direct you.
Speaker: Oh, very helpful. Yeah. gonna ratatouille our way through this fight. Pretend I am a rat. So go ahead and make an attack roll.
Speaker: yeah That's a nine plus seven. It's 16. All right, a 16 is not gonna do it. As you come in with table and Chiron is like, ah, get in.
Speaker: You slam the table down. Chakral deflects the table with his black, crooked longsword. Grimaces menacingly. Okay, Snot and Lily, would like to go?
Speaker: Go for it, Miss Lily. I'm kind of out of my everything. So I'm going to cast Channel Divinity. Okay. My last time. Right.
Speaker: And swing my longsword. okay So you now have advantage as you've called in your vow of enmity. So I rolled a 22. Yeah, 22 will hit.
Speaker: And so that's a d8.
Speaker: And do you want to have a hero aid you for double damage or no? Yes, please. Okay. So Talonvor rushes to your aid as you attack from one side and strike Chakral and he strikes from the other side and what's your damage? ah Nine. Nine.
Speaker: So you rolled nine, so you're going to 18 damage with Talonvord helping you. And I will sap him. Okay, great. So he is weakened.
Speaker: And Snot, it is your turn. ghost not Go, Snot, go. Snot is going to rub his hands together with a quick, not so much a spit as intentional sneeze in between them.
Speaker: Then he is going to rush up and press them to the back of one of Fred's legs, ah casting Protection from Evil and Good, specifically for Faye.
Speaker: Right. And then Esnot is going to hop back away because he doesn't want to be in this fight. Okay. Fred is empowered with the swampy aura, which rejects Fae.
Speaker: And one of your calves feels filthy. Yeah, Sharanan's like, what I smell? Okay, so it is now Chakral the Withered's turn.
Speaker: Smells like wet Fred over here. He sees Fred as the biggest threat because he is literally the biggest threat. I mean, that's fair, yeah. And he is going to attack with his longsword, which will be a disadvantage, which will be 17 to hit.
Speaker: With Fred's cloak of protection and his table in risen up form, his AC is exactly 17. Ah, so it still hits. Yeah. So he's going to do nine damage.
Speaker: That will be reduced to four by your resistance. And if you wanted to call on topaz, you could reduce it by another half. That's okay. Okay.
Speaker: So actually the the sword cleaves away some unusual iridescent flowers that are growing out of Fred's beard, but does not harm Fred. All right. Chakro looks at his sword briefly with a bit of, huh, as his blade slashes past you.
Speaker: So second attack is still at disadvantage. That one was because of sap. This one's because of protection. And he misses. It comes back at you with the sword. And this time, a Snots, a swampy aura, causes him to wince as he's coming at you. And he's not able to get his sword effectively attacking.
Speaker: Okay, next round. Fred, what would you like to do? So this is the beginning of my first turn since I rose up. Yeah. So I am going to... You can be reckless and cancel out the disadvantage. Yeah.
Speaker: Kind of sucks, but I will give Lily three temporary hit points. Three is better than none. Yeah. We're all pretty strong in the math department. Thank you.
Speaker: So Lily, some magical turnip blossoms are forming around you as well.
Speaker: And yeah, I think with his but with his new ah swampy confidence, Fred will take a big old reckless swing with his table.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That is a 14 plus 7 is a 21. So that's going to hit, but go ahead and roll your advantage. Come on. No crit.
Speaker: That was worse roll, actually, so I'll keep the first one. And are you calling on a hero to make him vulnerable? Yeah, let's do that.
Speaker: That's 12 points of table damage. Okay. Okay. So Fred will try to take a big old swing, try to knock his his sword out of the way, and then duck so that Topaz can take a swing at him.
Speaker: Okay. So between you and Topaz, tag team this guy for 24 points of damage? Yes. All right. So between the two of you, you're like hitting him up high and she's hitting him down low, cries out in anger. Lily, think you're next.
Speaker: Oh, purple lord, why hast thou forsaken me? I will take a swing at him. okay
Speaker: Okay. No. 19? Yes. Yeah, that hits, definitely. 4. All right, and are you going to request assistance from Talonvor on the... Yes....make him vulnerable?
Speaker: Okay. Hole 8. You feel surge of enmity halea channeled through you as you strike at him, and... Talonvor says, quick with me. And he like dodges over and he cuts him on the side as you step in and stab him in the shoulder for eight damage.
Speaker: And we will stab him as well. Excellent. Okay. So it is now Snotster. Snot is going to hop back from the fight at least 15 feet or so.
Speaker: and try to scoop up some rubble or other chuckable-sized objects and use his beloved magic stone spell to imbue them with some magical energy and then use his action to make one attack with one. 20. That does hit, so roll damage. And both of the heroes are used at this point.
Speaker: Never hero around when you need one. Let me just check real quick if I have Fury of the Small can be applied or if it's melee only. I think you can use it.
Speaker: Yeah. So with the fury that comes from my normal size around all these clumsy giants, I'm going to aim that little chunk of gravel right at his noggin. Let's bang it off there.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I ate. So you've hurled a stone and quite previously wounded him on his large noggin. Sharnanan's like, go, get him, woo. You are doing really good.
Speaker: Why couldn't Sharnanan be helping then? thought you said the heroes were all used up. I am helping. What are you talking about? But now it is Chakral's turn.
Speaker: Chakral turns to you, his dark eyes gleaming with purple anger, which is a thing. What, me? Yes. um His angry eyes are gleaming purple-ly.
Speaker: As long as he doesn't have hungry eyes. Yeah, his fomor eyes are smiling. he But in a mean way. kick-ass misty stuff and oh no he puffs in a purple cloud and disappears from where he was in front of fred and lily ah we got him and there's a loud poof noise as he peers directly in front of snot brings his sword up slashes it down at him with disadvantage because he's sapped uh wait a second get glad for that you have something
Speaker: Now Fred is hoping this was like the time that that that one goblin just kind of exploded into purple stuff. Yeah, really. And stayed that way. Oh. He rolled a 15 with his disadvantage.
Speaker: Ah, my AC is only a 13, so I believe that is a hit.
Speaker: He does six damage to you. It's not as bowled over into the dirt, but he's going to hit me again, probably. Yes, and he raises his sword again with dark gleam in his eye.
Speaker: Oh yes, he hits you. He hits you so much. Quit gleaming over there. So he does 10 points of damage to you this time. Holy crap. He's just hacking down at you with the sword.
Speaker: Little spurts of goblin blood are shooting up. Kind of dodging around and he just cuts you along the arm and along the leg. Yeah, so he's looming over you, hacking away. I've just reminded i need to make concentration saves to keep The protection from... Protection. Okay. Yeah, yeah up on Fred.
Speaker: You need to make a 10 twice. Okay. Okay, 14 and 4. So, yeah, that protection drops on the second time, sign which was rather rather worse than the first.
Speaker: Sharnanan's like, Oh no, Fred, to them and the spell is bad. the ah the what no
Speaker: He's about, I think we said he's 15 feet away from the others, so that's about how far he is away now from Fred and Lily. Fred, it is your turn. Oh, boy. Fred is going to charge over to him, to Chakral, and do big old sideways table swing. Okay.
Speaker: Attempting, so it's a reckless attack, and I'm going to try to push him if I hit him. Okay.
Speaker: That is a 20. Plus 7 27. So you crit? so you createt As a net 20. Excellent. So yeah, you have absolutely come in and crushed with the table. So roll the double damage die.
Speaker: Dice. All right. And then add your bonus once.
Speaker: All right. So that is a four and a four. So that's eight plus seven is 15. All right. And do you want to have a hero assist you here? Yeah, let's have Talonvor help.
Speaker: My idea was Fred would wang him really hard with the table and knock him 10 feet away from Snot and hopefully into or towards Talonvor who can maybe, yeah you know, take advantage of that.
Speaker: Yeah, so you absolutely level him with the table, knocking him 10 feet away from Snot directly into the path of Talonvor who's dashing in with both daggers and slashes for total of 30 damage.
Speaker: Yep. He is quite badly bloodied now, so well below half as he stumbles back with an angry look on his face. And Talonvor is like, that's the way we do it.
Speaker: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. All right, Lily, it's your turn. You're now about ah five feet away from him as Fred has knocked him back towards you. So actually, I guess he's in melee range with you now.
Speaker: All right, I'll melee range with him. Okay.
Speaker: So I rolled 21. okay. yes
Speaker: 3. Alright. Are you going to request a hero? large I need a hero. If I don't request a hero, can I give it to Snot?
Speaker: Yeah. Then I will do that because it's not worth doubling this. Yeah. So as Chakral comes back towards you after he's been savaged by Fred and Talonvor, stumbling towards you, you feel the rage from having seen him like attacking snot.
Speaker: Poor, helpless, defenseless little child. Just cutting into him mercilessly. So your blade is guided by your anger. But ah sadly, it hits his hauberk, sticks a little bit, too and only gives him a slight graze.
Speaker: But I do sap him, so... Yes, but you do succeed by cutting on his sword arm so it throws off his aim.
Speaker: Okay. Snot, what would you like to do? Yeah, it it is a damn shame that we held out a hero for Snot because he is going to wild shape into the form of a rat and dart into the nearest hole or cover.
Speaker: Okay. and Luckily, I think not getting an opportunity to attack since the baddie was already knocked away from him. Now is this a muskrat form again? No, this is a rat rat.
Speaker: So you have rat and muskrat as two of your four forms. He is Drew's level four, so he knows six forms, I believe. Ah, right, of course.
Speaker: So what do you want this to be? Let us say grass snake. I want a form that can go into very small spaces. So, yeah, let's just say it's a grass snake.
Speaker: Okay. And he slithers into or under the nearest rubble to get away from this horrible thing that was beating the crap out of him. Okay.
Speaker: So I'm going say that you're able to break line of sight. So ah you are chidden from it. Super. Okay. Okay. Shock Roll is sapped, but now he's once again confronting just Fred and Lily, and Fred hit him really hard, so he's going to go for Fred this time.
Speaker: Ooh, he does hit you. It's a 21. He does 8, so you take 4 points of damage. He does have one more attack on you.
Speaker: So he is going to get 19 hit you. So his second attack does nine points of damage, which is reduced to four.
Speaker: So he's just coming in at you with that long sword, but with table, you're deflecting it, he's just getting minor blows against you, as Arnie Fred is not troubled by such things.
Speaker: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Fred, if you will. All right, and now it's Fred's turn. I'm going to see if I can roll better. Oh, yes. Lulee now has ah nine temporary hit points. That's more like it.
Speaker: Like a whole bouquet of weird fey flowers. And Fred is going to recklessly attack this guy again because okay that seems like the thing to do.
Speaker: And that is a 17 plus 7 is Yes, absolutely. right and That is an eight plus seven is 15 points of damage. And he will try to once again, maybe he doesn't get pushed with his table. So smack him really hard towards Topaz this time.
Speaker: Okay. So you just batter him with your table. He stumbles back and Topaz comes in from below hacking at his leg. going to say it's going knock him prone in addition to taking 30 points of damage.
Speaker: He's extremely badly wounded. He's lying there prone. He sort of grimaces. He's gosh dished for more but he's still alive and Lilliet is your turn.
Speaker: I will try to hit
Speaker: fourteen i'm goingnna fail 14. I'm going to fail. That was with advantage. Okay. So as Topaz is knocking him down, you come at him with your sword, but Blade slashes over him as he falls.
Speaker: Snot, it is your turn. Snot is going to hide, but move to a position where he can peer out and see what is happening.
Speaker: Okay. So your little snake head can get to the edge of this little crack or crevice that you're in. Yeah, my tongue can taste the air.
Speaker: yeah Oh wait, you're not rat. Okay, like, this is a pretty cool rat. It's got like a snake head and a lion head and it breeds fire. It's like a tiny chimera. Yeah, also I looked up Beasts and Challenge Ratings and totally like a poisonous snake is only 1 eighth, so.
Speaker: Yeah. I could be some kind of poisonous snake. Constrictor snake is 1 4, I think. I know, but but that would be big. and i want to Yeah, that's true. Although you could constrict little things.
Speaker: I mean, it's all relative, right? You knew I was a small poisonous snake when you took me in. All right. So you can see what's going on. It looks like they've got Chakral very much on the ropes here. Fred has just been pounding this guy, and they're all standing around him, kind of kicking him.
Speaker: If snakes could cheer. He's like a printer in office space. All right. ah So, it sorry, did you were you going to do anything else, Drew? I wish. No. Okay.
Speaker: So on his turn, Chakral gets back up to one knee, forces himself up. There's purple blood splattered all over him. One of his arms is like slashed. He's crushed.
Speaker: And he turns to Fred one more time and attacks.
Speaker: and misses he does he has advantage yeah he doesn't advantage but he still missed okay he got a 14 second attack is a crit oh shit wait I don't like oh shit 29 twenty nine Holy... All right.
Speaker: and But let's have it. To 14. And if you want, you could ask one of the heroes to help you out to take an additional half. That seems like a good idea. Yeah.
Speaker: Sorry to not jump in the way. It's not wishes. The half that they take wouldn't be half, though, right? That was a confusing way to put it, but... Yeah, so this Chakral has gotten up to one knee, comes up with a rising slash. Fred dodges back from the first one. The second slash comes down with devastating effect.
Speaker: Topaz gets her axe up in the way, knocks the blade the side, so it cuts to Fred's leg instead of cutting through his chest. And you only take seven points of damage from this 29-point hit. Is that your next issue to flex the blade into Sharn or not?
Speaker: And Fred, it is your turn. Barmy could catch it in his teeth, I guess. No, Barmy is part of me now. Oh, that's weird.
Speaker: Yep, it is. and We're gonna have to unpack that later.
Speaker: All right, I guess not. You get eight temporary hit points. Okay. Quick question. When he transforms, is he still down hit points?
Speaker: um when you assume a wild shape form you gain a number of temporary hit points equal to your druid level so he gained four temporary hit points when he went into wild shape so but fred you're replacing that with eight temp hit points instead of four i would like to but let me confirm exactly no i don't actually have to see him he has to be within 10 feet of me so yeah sure okay So Snot does feel strange little leaves and branches and roots growing around his little snaky body.
Speaker: And Fred, so that is your... That just happens. It just happens. It's not even an action.
Speaker: And then Fred will roll 15 plus 7 I'm pretty sure that hits. Yep. And...
Speaker: Seven plus seven is 14 points of table. Okay, do you want to describe how it looks as you defeat Chakral the Withered? Fred is pretty mad at this guy at this point, so he he's been swinging the table around, he has the table by one leg, kind of twirls it a little bit so it's over his head, and then grabs it with both hands and brings it down, plowing the poor guy into the ground.
Speaker: Yeah. So you feel his body crack. As you crush him down, he lies there still. Does my table still say Jabroni Maximal eggplant emoji on it? Yeah, it does.
Speaker: Oh, you've been Jabronied.
Speaker: Yeah, I think maybe Talonvor has given that like a little bit of a glance like, oh, what's going on there? Don't think about it much. Didn't know you were a fan.
Speaker: Now, our heroes have no way of knowing this, but there was a fell poetry in the slaying of Chakral by the farmer Fredegar. Many of the Fomorian horde in the old days were bright and noble warriors, before they were transformed into beings of darkness by the magic of Queen Hortensia.
Speaker: But Chakral was never noble nor bright. He was a great hunter, but his mind was always twisted towards cruelty. In the ancient days, before even the founding of Mirfancia, the farms east of the foothills were founded by a firbolg named Parthelon.
Speaker: It is said that he cleared the land along the river and built the farms with his own hands and those of his family. In those days, Chakral would often cross between the realms of the Fae and the mundane, and while hunting, he came upon the farms of Parthelon. He was filled with great jealousy, for he thought the mundane realm should never be as bountiful as the fey world.
Speaker: And so he raised a warband and fell upon Parthelon and his followers. But he underestimated the strength of the farmers. Chakral's warband was defeated, and he was left helpless in the woods after Parthelon's dog, Samira, had savaged his legs.
Speaker: And there, Queen Hortensia found him as she prepared to gather her armies. She remade his broken legs with the bones of a thousand quicklings, granting him incredible speed.
Speaker: And from then on, he became the leader of her dread company of hunters. So, it is with some sense of irony that at the end, Chakral again fell before the simple weapons of a farmer.
Speaker: Okay, so you have defeated Chakral the Withered. The way to Victory Plaza is open. Talonfort's like, uh, do we have Snot? We've got to move quickly. We have to get back to Victory Plaza by dawn.
Speaker: Oh, uh. All right, Snot is going to slither out of his hole and resume a goblety shape, although he looks quite battered. Oh, Snot's here. Snot's still alive.
Speaker: Oh, thank goodness, Mr. Snot. wasn't quite sure what happened to you there. Actually, Topaz is going to rush over to Snot and cast a healing word on you.
Speaker: Okay. Sometimes she remembers that she can cast healing spells. Six points of healing. Okay. Snot is going to wait until she does that, then going to wave his hand and say, no, no, no, no help, turnip guy.
Speaker: Dad, he looks fine. and Look at him, he's a big guy. Talon was like, come on, come on, quickly. Oh. No time to waste.
Speaker: Okay. He's ready to run again, although he has a bad slash in his leg. It's like there could be more of them behind us. They won't stay lost forever.
Speaker: How'd that guy get in front? Well, look at his legs. Maybe he's faster or something. I think Topaz was supposed to take care of that guy, I don't know.
Speaker: It's not. Glances over his shoulder. Kind of tough to gauge his speed in his current condition. Slightly flattened. Yeah. All right.
Speaker: So, without even a chance to really gather your breath. Is that a thing? People gather, you do you gather your breath? Sure, sure. You catch your breath and gather yourself up. Okay. You gather your thoughts, catch your breath.
Speaker: We have no time to catch our thoughts. We got to gather our breath and get out of here. Yeah, you're just, he's like pulling He's like, come on, come on, let's go. You rush back towards Victory Plaza. You arrive at the top of the stairs in Fancy Crest, winding down into the plaza, and you hear the sounds of a pitched battle raging before you.
Speaker: Looking down across the plaza, you see squad of Fomor, maybe 12 of them, by Ardentia Abbey. And they're battling a massive horde of zombies that cover the entire plaza below you.
Speaker: The zombies are just surging across and rushing against this defensive formation. Wow. As you watch in horror, terrifying skeletal giant from the New Market stomps into the square, squishing zombies with every step.
Speaker: Looks up at you, cold, empty eye sockets. Grins with a terrible skeletal grin, horrible fangs bared, and it starts stomping towards the stairs in your direction.
Speaker: Well, you say with horror, but Snot was actually kind of whooping but for the zombies when he saw that, but then the skeleton. He's like, yeah and just as you're adjusting to this, there's that large collection of rubble on the east side of the square.
Speaker: Explodes outward, and the massive yellow tusked form of Mammoth Ra emerges from a tumble of bricks, smashing his way into the square. Ow!
Speaker: We know that guy. oh dear. Talonvor's looking down at the square, he's like, huh. And as our adventurers prepare to hold out until dawn against the risen might of the fallen city, we bring this episode to a close.
Speaker: Thank you for listening to Clarendon, The Hireling Chronicles, and please join us next time for the exciting conclusion to Season 1.
