Transcript
Speaker: Hello and welcome to Kalerinden, the hireling chronicles.
Speaker: Kalerinden is an actual play Dungeons and Dragons podcast in which we will actually play Dungeons and Dragons as a podcast. My name is David Case LeClaire and I will be the narrator and game master for these sessions.
Speaker: Clarendon is a world of magic and adventure, a world of buried buildings, ruined restaurants, and legendary laundromats. It is a world perpetually beset by the forces of chaos, but every time the darkness returns, epic heroes rise to save the realm.
Speaker: But our story is not about the epic heroes, at least not directly. Our story is about three moderately experienced animal handlers as they try to guide a donkey through a ruined city.
Speaker: And joining us as the Hardy Hirelings, we have Beth Gleason as... Lilia Thomas. And I don't think the fifth element is love. I think the fifth element is magic.
Speaker: Love is a falsehood. Wow, that's bold. What about friendship, though? Friendship is magic. think it's a lot of things going to magic. And Drew Gleason as... Tharwenius, Gorf, Nozzlesnot.
Speaker: Feel bad, but Lily wrong. This druid thing. Snot got this. Five element dirt, fire, water, wind, meat. Oh, wow.
Speaker: Need to know that stuff, that basic. And Dave Sturgis as... Fred, the farmer who is furry of Bolg. And Fred's not really the philosophical type.
Speaker: He is familiar with the four elements. And I guess if you asked him what the fifth one was at this point, he might guess it was that weird purple stuff that makes fae things happen. but All right. Well, if we do discover a fifth element, we'll let you know if it's love or pixie dust.
Speaker: If we could just get Fizzwhiz into that sack, I think we could beat some Fifth Element out of him.
Speaker: In our last episode, the hardy hirelings traveled with the epic heroes down the Avenue of the Bright Kings in the ruined city of Myrfancia. When they found the way blocked, they left their donkey in a magic stable and took to the sewers, where they battled giant centipedes, soggy boots, and a general sense of regret.
Speaker: Now, having crossed the echoing cistern, they search for a way back to the streets in the hopes of reaching Ardentia Abbey and finding the lost signet stone and a magic sword.
Speaker: As you pull yourself up into the tunnel, it's much drier than you would expect. There are broken pieces of stone, there's piles of refuse, cloth, wood bones, and torn pieces of insect carapace, all gathered around in a mucky heap.
Speaker: The tunnel is wider than the previous tunnel you were in, and stretches forward. There are many side tunnels you see ahead of you, but it does seem to angle slightly upwards.
Speaker: Turnip guy, let's eat centipedes. And clarification, Snot is still a muskrat and he is on Fredegar's right shoulder. Making him happy.
Speaker: Sharnanan is not a muskrat, but is on Lily's shoulder as well. Yeah, not sure why that has to continue, but... Yeah, Lily, are you putting Sharnanan down? Sharnanan doesn't want to go down, but can you can force them down if... I'm happy to keep them.
Speaker: Okay. Sharnanan is still trying to reach over to the muskrat to pet it. Stay away. Ah, but you are so cute. i just want to cuddle you. Use you as a pillow.
Speaker: It's not cute over here. Talon was like, all right, all right. Topaz, do you actually know where we are going? Well, of course I do.
Speaker: Got that dwarf sense. Yes. Yes, it's dwarf sense I keep hearing about. We've all heard about the dwarf sense. Do you think maybe we should go back up to the streets You want to go back through the centipede pools?
Speaker: I'd rather not. Well, is there any way on this side of the pool? Well, that's the idea. me rephrase that. I'd rather not. Fred says poisonedly.
Speaker: the The poison has exited your system, although you maybe don't feel, it still don't feel great about it. It only lasts for one turn.
Speaker: Yeah, I think we're definitely past whatever that obstruction was, I hope. So if we could find a way up. If you guys all stop being in lazy, let's get going. Get going. That gives you a just the slightest nip in the side of your neck to ah reinforce that point.
Speaker: All right. So Topaz is taking the lead once again, Talonvor behind her. And then I guess Fred and Lily. It is 10 feet wide here. Are you next to each other or is one of you leading?
Speaker: I don't want to be next to Fred, no offense, because I don't want to let Sharnan on that close to Snot. Yeah. I think if, um right, because Lily's carrying Sharn, so think Fred will stay behind them.
Speaker: Okay, so Fred's kind of taken up the rear and... Absorb any additional centipedes or whatever. Mm-hmm. Why don't... Soaking them up. Fred, why don't you make a perception check?
Speaker: Fred's mightiest skill... That's a five plus one is six. Yeah. Are you wearing your cloak of protection or not? I think he is. Yeah, okay.
Speaker: So the... It's much more tastefully colored yeah look of protection. gorseberry colored. The lower part of it is quite damp now and sticking annoyingly to your legs. And suddenly you hear the sound of crumbling rock booming out behind you.
Speaker: section of the wall tunnel collapses and a horrific beast lurches out directly behind you.
Speaker: It is a lumbering, ashen beast with powerful claws, clashing mandibles, and large, multifaceted eyes that scatter reflections with their disorienting scintillations.
Speaker: If you had to put a color on it, you'd say this Hulk is umber. Like a burnt umber?
Speaker: Not yet. Or, yeah, so it's it's it's ah it's a lumbering, umbering Hulk of a something. but Wait, are you going to do song again? Is this a song? But it's only one in number, this lumbering number.
Speaker: Lumbering, umbering, one and numbering, so don't sulk. Nothing incredible about that. ever Stop laughing. I want to get clean audio of David singing this.
Speaker: As it's bursting out, it has caught you a little bit by a surprise as Fred was focused on other things. It is immediately firing off its confusing gaze. So everyone will have to make a wisdom saving throw of difficulty 14.
Speaker: Yipes. Oh, dear. 20.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I got a nine. Well, all right. And what did Fred get? So Fred rolled a one but he has a plus two on his wisdom save, so that's a three. Way more than one. ah Okay.
Speaker: All right. Hopefully this guy sucks at gazing. So Fred failed, if I'm hearing you correctly. i mean, I don't know. but How did the Humberto Hulk roll? Fourteen.
Speaker: Okay. Yeah, he failed. So Lily succeeded... Snot, Fred, Talonvor, and Topaz have all failed.
Speaker: Oh dear. For those of you who failed, roll a 1d8.
Speaker: Fred gets a 4 on the 1d8. Okay, 4 is good. And Okay, so Snot, on your next turn, you cannot take an action or a bonus action. You must use all of your movement to run in a random direction.
Speaker: Actually, that's pretty much how he planned. i
Speaker: So this umberish Hulk's eyes are like sparkling as everybody turns back and look at it. Talonvor and Topaz are just like, whoa. They're like freaked out.
Speaker: Sharanan's like, ah, what is everybody doing? at Fred is also stunned. Lily is the only person who can move.
Speaker: Shit. Lily, what would you like to do? oh Don't do that. it is directly behind Fred, so it's about 10 feet away from you, but there's plenty of room in the corridor if you want to go past Fred or next to Fred.
Speaker: Yeah, I would like to put Sharn down. Mm-hmm. Now's your time to shine. And push past Fred and our muskrat friend. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: And draw my sword and attack the Umber Hulk... Sulk... guy. sulking Hulk. sulking Hulk. sulking, hulking guy. All right.
Speaker: So go ahead and make an attack roll.
Speaker: And I miss. I rolled a four. Now, since you are making an attack, if you wanted to, you could do some additional things. You could do another Val of Amity... Oh, which you declared during your attack, which would give you advantage, but I think you can only do that twice, so you may want to hold on to it for later.
Speaker: Yeah. Hang on. The heck's going to happen later? move Well, I don't know, but it's going to be horrible. He knows things.
Speaker: You regain one use of Channel Divinity on a short rest. Oh, I do? Okay. Yeah. Oh, hell. I'm the only person that is available right now. I'll use the vow of anemone.
Speaker: Okay. Anemone. Advantage on the attack, so you Advantage on attacks, yeah. So, 17 4, 21.
Speaker: Yes. Wow. You've got real enmity for our enemy, the lumbering oh umbering skulking hulk. So sad. I guess like a sea eagle could carry anemones.
Speaker: But they eat Emonies. So how much damage do you need? Four, and then I'm gonna throw a Smite in here. Okay. So that's 2d8. Oh, come on.
Speaker: For two. wow. So a total of
Speaker: As everybody is stunned around you, you step back past Fred directly at this hulking monstrosity. You slash at it with your sword. It's got a heavy carapace like his giant arms are covered in armor.
Speaker: You slash at it, crying out your vow of enmity, guess. And you slash it. There's a burst of radiant power, but its armor is just too strong, so you don't feel like you've hurt it badly at all.
Speaker: Can I also sap it? Yes. So its next attack will be at disadvantage. Yes. It makes a kind of chittering roar, which I am not going to do.
Speaker: Oh. It speaks cobbled. Okay.
Speaker: And also red tail hawk, apparently. It recently ate one. um yeah okay and also redtail hawk apparently but recently eight one It is going to attack with its massive claws.
Speaker: This does answer my question of where all the centipede parts and scraps of cloth and stuff were coming from. So its first attack misses. It's distracted by the radiant burst of energy and it has slashes ineffectually at you. Second attack misses.
Speaker: Third attack is a natural one. who So it's just slashing at you with these enormous claws. You get the sense that these claws could crush you in a blow if they could just hit you. But it's thrown off by your first attack, and then you skillfully push its attacks, its claws aside as it swings at you with your shield and protecting yourself.
Speaker: It's real clumsy umsy. Okay. So we're going to roll a 1d6 to see if it recovers its confusing gaze. 5 or 6, it recovers. 2.
Speaker: does not recover its gaze. Alright, so people are starting to snap out of it. So, I'm sorry, did I run off some direction? yeah. Um, I guess you probably would run away from it.
Speaker: mean, there's only two directions, yeah. Yeah, so you've leaped off of Fred onto the ground and sped another 20 feet or so down the corridor past Topaz and Talonvor.
Speaker: When you start to come to your senses, Talonvor, Topaz are shaking their head. Fred, you're blinking rapidly as you see that Lily is engaged in desperate combat with this monstrosity.
Speaker: So Fred, since you're right there, what would you like to do for your move? I think Fred is going to shake off the disorientation Not overthink the fact that he there is no longer a friendly muskrat on his shoulder. Let's not overthink this.
Speaker: Unsling the table and take a big shot at this guy. all right. Fred is not risen up, and he's a little out of sorts and kind of exhausted as well. so So you're not getting the plus one from the table defense just because you're not risen up, but you can still attack with it.
Speaker: So 19 plus seven is like 26. Yes, you absolutely hit it. Nice. So even in his unrisen state, that's still nine points of damage.
Speaker: Okay. So you have cracked it pretty well with table. It's a little more awkward. Yeah. Fred's usually much more bigger and muscular when he does this, but he's figuring it out.
Speaker: and Okay. And it's not weird 20 feet down the corridor. As you blink out of the confusing glare, you're still a muskrat. What would you like to do? Can use my bonus action to stop being a muskrat and return to being a goblin?
Speaker: i could cast Entangle, but ah this may be a circumstance where that's not helpful. Yeah. Well, I am going to use my action then to hide myself so that I can strike next round.
Speaker: Okay. That's why I'm hiding. As you're further down the tunnel, you see that there are many side tunnels. When you said you see many, I was like, I thought you were going to say like many Elberhawks, like there were more coming.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, yeah. There's a whole family of them. Oh, oh. One of them's wearing a wedding veil. Another one has a Bible. the Berenstain hulks. Many hulks handle it.
Speaker: hey They're side corridors that empty into this corridor. Some of them look constructed. Other ones look like they've been dug through like the Umber hulks regularly come through here and ambush. I don't like that plural, but okay. So can I, can I, if I'm yeah down to duck into one of those? Yep. So make a self roll with advantage since you're skulking.
Speaker: Little skulker. oh I don't like the way you said that last thing. Skulking all the time. twenty 20. Mm-hmm. A skulkster. Yeah. You are effectively skulking.
Speaker: Thank you. All right. So Topaz is snapping out of it, and she's running up, barreling past Fred and Lily to get on slightly to the side of the Umberhulk and hacking at it with her axe, which misses.
Speaker: Good job. She's just crying out some dwarven war cry. How do you say bollocks in Dwarven? She does get a second attack. And they call it a mine!
Speaker: Which lands successfully.
Speaker: So she strikes it for some damage, but seems like a pretty light blow with her axe. As a bonus action, Tobage reaches out absentmindedly and casts Shield of Faith on Lily, giving you a plus two AC.
Speaker: Oh, thank you. The shimmering field of light appears around you. So Lily, it is now your turn again. Since I have cast Vow of Anemone, I'm going to hit it.
Speaker: Okay. Or try to hit it. Believe in yourself. So that's 22. Yes.
Speaker: And that is seven. I'm going to do another smite. Eight plus three. So you've struck it for 18 points of damage.
Speaker: This time, you're ready for its carapace, and as it tries to defend itself, you find a joint in its arm, and your sword bites deeply. There's a flash, another flash of radiant damage as it rears back with more of its jittering.
Speaker: Is that better? That's amazing. Terrifying. And I will sap it as well. Do you need a drink? Okay.
Speaker: So it is looking quite bad now. Like Michael Jackson bad? Or like it's really bad? Yeah. It's starting to go into the thriller dance. Oh, no.
Speaker: And Talivor is also waking up. He's got his short bow out. And oh, he strikes it with one hit from the short bow. for a small amount of damage. So an arrow goes tearing past the group of you and hits into its shoulder, but only slightly penetrates its armor. doesn't seem to do significant damage.
Speaker: Talivor helpfully yells, get it! All right. Working on it. Yeah, we're seeing who the real epic hero is down here. That's your plan? Get him? Yeah.
Speaker: get her We're back to the Umberhulk's turn. First of all we're going to give it the roll for one, five or six, four. So it does not recover its confusing gaze. But it is quite angry at Lillia, and it is going to expend all three of its attacks, first one at disadvantage, trying to crush Lillia.
Speaker: don't think it has the right to be angry here. I'm pretty sure it started this. Okay, well, fair. It's going to have a 23 on its first attack with disadvantage.
Speaker: That hits. Even with the Shield of Faith. Yeah, I have 20 with the Shield of Faith. Ooh, low roll. You take 10 points of slashing damage. Wow.
Speaker: And it takes a second attack. Natural wand. So we're to say with that critical failure, as it's swinging at you, it's still stinging from where you cut it, and it rears back in anger and does not get its third attack because of its critical fail.
Speaker: The swinging, stinging, lumbering, umbering, skulking Hulk. I'm lost. Sorry. And the hole in the bottom of the sea. Yeah.
Speaker: You're a skulker. It's it's a hulker. Right. All right. So Fred, it's going to be my autobiography, skulkers and hulkers.
Speaker: Yeah, Fred, the turn comes back to you as the Hulk is in great pain. Yeah, I think Fred seeing Lillia getting attacked by this thing is going to attempt to rise up, fail, cough up just a little bit of blood, and then succeed in a never-before-seen third-in-one-day rising.
Speaker: Ah. And just really landed this thing with the table. So you are now risen up to your Arnie bod. Yep.
Speaker: And...
Speaker: um Then he's going to go ahead and roll a big old six. That's probably not a hit. As you are making that attack, Topaz calls out something.
Speaker: Wait, hold on. When a creature within 30 feet of you misses with an attack roll, you can expend one use of channel divinity to give that roll plus 10 bonus. So dan oh she has called upon her divinity, which she very rarely does, to guide your strike.
Speaker: What does plus 10 give you? Like a 23? Okay. Yes. So although you initially feel like you're missing, she's like, by the power of Arden, just hit the beast.
Speaker: And inspired by her words, somehow, you strike the beast, roll damage. The power of Arden, may your ardor harden. In the hopes of convincing her to not call out again.
Speaker: Oh, that's a 7 plus 7 is 14 points of damage. Bam! That's a lot of table. It is bloodied now. You hit it across the jaw with your table.
Speaker: And you hear a crunching sound as one of its mandibles cracks, and it's stumbling back. I guess I should ask, which pair of jaws did I hit? But yeah, no, it's super effective.
Speaker: Okay, and do you have anything else on your turn? This is the first turn that Fred has rin risen up, so no. Although Fred does gain temporary hit points. And Snot, as you're skulking in the corner back in goblin form, would you like to do anything?
Speaker: Yes, that is going to do his classic scooping up a few pebbles or small hard objects with a tug on his ear, waving one hand over the hand, holding them.
Speaker: He imbues them with magical striking ability and then flicks one in the direction of the Umberhold, deftly avoiding his friends and allies with 16.
Speaker: sixteen That is not going to do it. You hurl the magic stone through the air. It strikes the beast on the carapace and balances off without doing significant damage to him.
Speaker: It's not still helping. You do have advantage on that roll, because you're attacking himself.
Speaker: Well, I rolled worse.
Speaker: But I'm going to stay way back here. And also, actually... I think Skelker says if you miss with your attack from stealth, it doesn't necessarily alert them.
Speaker: That's right. So you are still hidden, but you have still missed. But that's still helping. Yes. Talonvor's like, good show, Snot. Wherever you are. Try to hit it next time, though.
Speaker: Aim for the polycule.
Speaker: All right. So Topaz is there hacking away at it with her axe. Misses and misses. So she's not doing a lot. She's just trying to get an angle at it, but she's having trouble penetrating its carapace. She's like, oh, he's a tough bugger, this one.
Speaker: And it is now Lily's turn. I'll try to hit it again. and I miss by advantage. I miss 14.
Speaker: fourteen Although Topaz has taken her turn again so she can use another reaction. Well, I'm not saving it for anything, am I? Dang, girl.
Speaker: She calls out once again to for the power of Arden to guide your blade, adding plus 10 to your strike. Yeah, that's 24. Yeah. With the guiding of Arden, your blade strikes, Tyro.
Speaker: Five. I might as well divine smite.
Speaker: So total of 10. Okay. Once again, slash out, doing decent damage to it with your sword. And I will sap it.
Speaker: And sapping it.
Speaker: Talonvor is firing two more arrows past you.
Speaker: What is going on? Dice everywhere. all right, well, that die's gone. Talonvor misses. He's like, um, it just never happens. It is now the Umber Hulk's turn.
Speaker: On a five or six, it regenerates its confusing gaze. Six. It's going to use its turn to fire a confusing gaze at everybody. Make a wisdom save, DC 14. It just regenerated that. It's going to use it right away. Doesn't want to like save it.
Speaker: No. 20.
Speaker: twenty nice This is really embarrassing as like probably one of the few folks here that has wisdom save proficiency total to 13. That's the Fred also rolled exactly a 13. High five.
Speaker: So that's going to fail. So everybody who got below 14. Roll a 1d8. Three. Okay, so Snot is going to do nothing next round.
Speaker: But Snot did help. Fred. And Fred got a four again. So Fred will also stand in a confused gaze. Topaz also looks dazzled by this Talonvor's like, don't look into its eyes.
Speaker: What are you doing? Like, Topaz. So pretty. Sharnanan's like, yay, yay, go team. OK, so Fred, it is now your turn.
Speaker: I'm confuzzled. Yeah. Confuzzled. So you're standing there in a daze holding this table.
Speaker: Wait, who was I smacking repeatedly with this table? All right, so Fred is confuzzled. Snot. Yeah, so you're just stunned. You're confuzzled as well. Oh, Fred.
Speaker: Topaz is like, i i got it. And she turns towards Fred and starts swinging her axe. Uh-oh.
Speaker: With a one. Because she doesn't want to hurt him. So she just turns towards that and is like, wo and swings her axe down and takes an enormous chunk out of the ground.
Speaker: Stones, clang, sparks, smashers.
Speaker: Lily, it is your turn. Gonna try to hit it, but I can't do any spells. 22. twenty two That's to hit.
Speaker: Yes, it definitely hits. Okay. 10. 10.
Speaker: ten Yeah, it's getting very low, but it is still alive. And it is sapped, and that's all it can do. Okay. However, at this point, I think... Uh-oh.
Speaker: Entire tunnel collapses as the Terask arrives. um No, ah the Umber Hulk was looking for ah quick dinner. And it is absolutely not getting that.
Speaker: So it's trying to back off and turning, trying to clamber back into its hole in the wall. That would give Lily an opportunity attack, if you want it.
Speaker: Sure, I'll try to hit it. No clambering. No clamber. I rolled 19 4, so hits. And damage. Another 10. yes that is
Speaker: another ten
Speaker: It's still alive. You strike deeply into its back as it's pulling away from you and it roars with another horrible chittering. Oh, I'm sorry. And pulls itself into the wall, ichor leaking down, flowing out freely as it's stumbling back into its hole in the wall.
Speaker: As the combat ends, everybody who was confuzzled is starting to wake up, shake their heads, and recover their senses. Not's going to run up to the group.
Speaker: Miss Lily is greatest fighter. you really saved our bacon there. Who was hurt? Well, Fred is hurt from the centipede, but not badly, I think.
Speaker: Yeah. The Lily is injured, but not too badly. Okay, I'm going to upcast Healing Word on Lily. Okay.
Speaker: Although Fred's still kind of holding the table up in the air and looking around, trying to figure out what happened to the Umberhog. You were only damaged 10 points? Yeah. All right, that gills you too full.
Speaker: Thank you. Snot comes, just runs over and and just grabs you around the waist and gives you a goblin hug on the side of your leg. Oof, thank you.
Speaker: Snot, I like you too. Toplask shakes her head to clear any remaining. fuzziness and she's like, alright, we better go. yeah There might be more of them or that one could come back.
Speaker: ah No time to waste. We win. Do you think we could find a place to take ah a break? I'm not sure I'd stop down here. Maybe once we get out of here we can take our rest.
Speaker: Okay. Thank you. I think Tobaz is right. We've been down here too long. It's messing with my hair.
Speaker: Nice. I there's a look that you cultivate where it's like kind of grizzled, like rough and tumble forest guy. When it just gets like damp like this and just hangs there, you just look like, I don't know, like you're in a band or something.
Speaker: yeah Not bobbing his head as usual. T'Veat's like, ah, nobody cares about it. Let's go.
Speaker: She plunges forward into the tunnels ahead of you. She runs off into one of the side tunnels. The tunnels branch ahead with unnerving frequency.
Speaker: They get narrower and more tunnels are like intersecting into like a maze of tunnels. She's just choosing tunnels, you know, without hesitation, just running into them. She's like, all right, this way, this way.
Speaker: Is this still a sewer system? It's like a freaking ant colony. Yeah. know Because they built their sewer like they built their king statues. 60 feet tall and grumpy.
Speaker: not ah Not a low budget on these things. Oh, okay. City planning in general. Yeah.
Speaker: So Topaz is leading. Talonvor is right behind her. Sharnanon. And then what order are you guys following in? Snot is next to Lily, enthusiastically describing to for her benefit the things she just did.
Speaker: Lily's kind of nodding her at, uh-huh. And then Fred, are you taking the rear or are you in front of them? Yeah, I think he'll be, again, trying to take the brunt of whatever other horrible thing comes up behind us.
Speaker: And it has only been like a minute or two, so if you're trying to extend, you can stay. Yeah, going to try to stay buff. Okay. Okay. As you're running through tunnels, you notice that there is water on the floor.
Speaker: The tunnel is angling slightly up and there's a little bit of water, rivulets, running down. Topaz is like, all right, all right, let's keep going. The tunnels are getting narrower. It's not all behind Lillian.
Speaker: Okay. It's only paper off. Topaz pauses up ahead. Wait, do you hear that? You do hear ah raspy sound, something being dragged across stone.
Speaker: Many somethings. The sound's getting louder. a Behind you, you see a mass of undead humanoids. I mean, i guess we can call them zombies, right? That's not a slur.
Speaker: They're filling the tunnel. Oh my god, said the Z word. Filling the tunnel, taking your jobs. There. They're pouring down the tunnel, running at a surprising speed towards Fred in the back and also in front, like Tobias. It's like, oh they're all around us.
Speaker: So just a huge horde of zombies from both sides pouring towards you.
Speaker: Topaz is like, why are we going to keep going? She starts barreling into the zombies, swinging her axe, hacking at them. Talonvor is firing arrows over her head into the horde as she's trying to force her way forward behind you.
Speaker: So since Fred is in the back, the mass of zombies is coming up towards Fred. They're all like reaching out their clawed hands, moaning, requesting your brains.
Speaker: What's next the nerquests?
Speaker: So Fred, you're still Risen Up. What are you doing as the the zombies rush at you from behind, or anybody else? think he would like to kind of... He's trying to keep moving, but sort of like take a swing at them. Okay. Just a big old wide swing with the table.
Speaker: Yeah, Lily and Snot, if there's anything you want to do, any spells or any ranged effects you want to do, you can do that while you're moving. Yeah, this came up so suddenly.
Speaker: that is... preparing moonbeam but if we're just running at this point i want to have the components available but yeah not casting it yet sorry fred fred all right so fred as the zombies rush into range of you you can make an attack at them with a table alright
Speaker: all right 24 wow you definitely hit the zombie scroll damage
Speaker: 3 plus 7 is 10, and i would love to push them back. Yes, absolutely. As you swing with table, even in the confines of the corridor since you're risen up, get just enough room.
Speaker: As the first ones rush into you, this whole mass of rotting, decaying flesh stumbling towards you, clawing at you with their rotting fingers, gnashing their yellow broken teeth.
Speaker: You just whack them with the table, splattering them ten feet back like some of them are smashed against the wall, other ones crumpled to the ground. Mm-hmm. in a broken mess. The others fall back and the whole horde is pushed back from you so they will not get to attack you as you have pushed them back.
Speaker: Ahead of you, Topaz is yelling, keep moving! And swinging with her axe at their legs as Talonvor is still firing arrows rapidly and rushing forward and Sharanan is cheering, you're doing great!
Speaker: Woo! Woo! so I'm laughing, but that is more helpful than what Snots doing. Well, if you if you wanted to do anything, or Lily, if you wanted to do anything that range, you could do that, but you are moving rapidly. You're moving about maybe 20 feet per round at this point as you're forging your way forward through the horde.
Speaker: Well, correct me if I'm wrong. Fred is still injured from the centipede bite, right? Yeah, not badly, though. He's down like 13 hit points. Oh, that is bad. I'm going to yell a healing word for the benefit of Fred.
Speaker: It may not sound healing. It's in Goblin, but it surprisingly heals. More get good. Yeah, and I rolled really well, too. You gain 11 points back.
Speaker: Yeah, the usual mossy growth occurs on your shoulder. Strangely soothing. Yeah, relief floods through you as you feel this it's kind of getting used to this moss. or You know that snot is supporting you from behind.
Speaker: ah Sorry, Emily, did you have anything you wanted to try as you're running? I don't think Toll the Dead is going to be appropriate. So I'm just going to keep running. Yeah. All right.
Speaker: So you're forging forward. Topaz is doing great work at the front, clearing the horde and forcing them away forward. As you guys run forward, you're stepping over the bodies of fallen zombies that have been cacked in half.
Speaker: reaching up with their arms and pawing at you as you can turn on so like o yeah ah it's that's not look at reset one i think he wants to grab you tell him it's like stop talking shut it on and run and there's more water on the ground here flooding down suggests you're getting closer to an exit In the back, Fred, the zombies are gathering again. The horde is pulling up and rushing at you.
Speaker: Once again, you would have a chance to attack them as they're rushing in it, if you want. That seems like a good idea. i mean, it's up to you. Okay. That's a seven.
Speaker: Plus seven is 14. Yeah, that's going to hit. All right.
Speaker: 13 push. Once again, Fred just muscles flexing. He's w slamming the table into them, splattering some zombies to the ground, smashing other ones backwards like a head goes flying over the horde. They're just heads bopping all over the place tonight.
Speaker: Yeah, that's right. And the zombies force the pules are like splattered onto the ground. Oh, no.
Speaker: My mother gave me that force of appeal. Yeah, you've knocked them back once again, blasting horde back, keeping it away from you as you guys keep running. You see ahead of you, there's an opening. It it looks like wherever you're in is just a tunnel that exits out.
Speaker: The horde seems to be lessening at the front. Topaz is like, we're almost there. So she's swinging her axe like crazy, hacking bits of zombies, slashing them in half.
Speaker: Talonvor and Topaz go running out of the end of the tunnel into an open area. Ahead of you, Shardin on, is out. a Lily and Snot. I assume to keep running with them out.
Speaker: you're running out of the tunnel. Oh yeah, definitely pro-running. You open out into a large plaza ahead of you, which probably not taking a lot of time to examine it right now, but it does look like it is clear of zombies.
Speaker: And behind you, Fred, as you're covering the rear, the zombies are gathering again for another rush at you. So you want to try and swipe them? Yeah. Swipe left for zombies.
Speaker: It's a 12, so 19. Oh, yes, absolutely.
Speaker: And that's a 7. Plus 7 is 14 points of damage and a push. You have done a huge amount of damage to this horde. You once again splattered the mech in ways that are too disgusting to even describe.
Speaker: yeah yeah yeah No, no, we we can handle it. Go for it. Corpses are ragdolling through the air. Some of them are clipping into the walls. And you burst out into the light as this horde is stumbling back behind you.
Speaker: When I say light, it's not actually light out here, it's a little bit lighter than the tunnel. As you run out into the plaza, the rain seems to have lightened into a damp mist. The square around you is quite large, maybe 80 feet across. There's a large sculpture of the sun rising in triumph over a crescent moon, which doesn't seem scientifically accurate.
Speaker: Also, as you're glancing around, you see... towering mound of broken stone from the fallen towers is well down the road to your east, so you're quite far past it. You see some roads leading off the plaza, and across the plaza, towering above you are the ornate spires, flying buttresses of what you assume must be Ardentia Abbey.
Speaker: The front facade is dominated by a massive rose window, stained glass, massive oaken doors lie broken on the ground. Those buttresses are flapping.
Speaker: Topaz is looking around. All right, is everyone all right? Did anybody get bit? Did you get bit? She's holding up her axe. Uh, no. Made kind of a mess, but, uh... Aye.
Speaker: Kelpie, all right? Oh, yes. Snott got bit. Snott's bit. Snott's jumping up and down. Fred is just festooned with zombie door. Talon War's like, no, I don't think getting bit does anything. I don't think they look like that.
Speaker: I don't know. Can we be that sure? Snott, hold out your neck. right What if they're aerosolized? Okay, Snot's realizing now that this wasn't like a contest, it wasn't like a good thing.
Speaker: No, Snot, uh, it's not okay. Feeling fine. Shardinon steps in front of Snot, holding out their arms, like, No, Topaz, you cannot have him. He is mine.
Speaker: Topaz is like, I was just kidding anyway. It's fine.
Speaker: All right, we made it. I'm kind of glad we didn't bring the donkey.
Speaker: He is in a better place. A donkey place. It's manifest perfect sentence structure just for that.
Speaker: Talonvor is looking around the plaza. To the north, there's a road winding up into the hills around which you see elaborate houses, stone mansions.
Speaker: It looks like that is the rich section of town where you've been told Burmy Bingborn had his shop.
Speaker: Talonvor's like, all right, look, we've traveled together some time, but I think at this point, believe there's something that you, you three needed to do, right?
Speaker: That certainly, yeah certainly is true, yes. Things our own donkey cannot carry for you.
Speaker: Well, actually, you dropped most of the stuff outside of the city back at the campsite on day one. So think that you should go after this stone that you're looking for.
Speaker: Shining on, Topaz and I will head up into the rich section and search for the magic sword of Barmy Bingborn. But I just want you to know, I don't want to get sentimental, but I don't think of you as just hirelings anymore.
Speaker: I think of you as funny hirelings. I suppose that that's something. Snots gets a little misty-eyed at this, although he's also got one finger jammed up his nose and he's kind of digging around in there as he receives this praise.
Speaker: Sharnanon has the map out and they're like, okay, I think we go this way. Starts moving towards the north end of the plaza. Talonvor goes back over, claps Fred on the shoulder.
Speaker: He claps Lily on her shoulder as well. Look, we'll meet you back here in the plaza once we've found what we're looking for. And best of luck to you.
Speaker: Thanks, Talonvor. Good luck to you. Thank you, sir. Topaz is rooting around in her pack. She's like, i just one second, one second. She pulls out a metal jar. ah Oh, dear.
Speaker: She's twisting the cap and she hurls it into the tunnel that you came from, yelling, dwarf sense. Oh, no. How we going to get back?
Speaker: Oh, she didn't do the counter with her sins. Therefore, I don't think it's a favorite. As you're saying this, there's an enormous explosion. Then the explosion. It's like, well, I might not done the exactly correct, but you don't have to be too exact with these things.
Speaker: Apparently not. What's it gonna do, explode? Bits of rock are falling down and collapsing around the tunnel entrance, and there's sort of a grumbling sound as the square shakes a little bit for a moment. Talonvor is like, all right, I don't know if that was entirely necessary.
Speaker: He and Topaz give you the nod, you know, the hero nod, and turn to head north. Before you, the abbey looms, waiting in darkness.
Speaker: Wow. Snott's experience. This is generally the point where the adventurers don't come back. So. The rumbling from the explosion fades. There's still a sound of occasional bits of broken stone crumbling. Occasional zombie going, oh!
Speaker: You hear an enormous roar at the distance echoing around the ruined city of Mirfancia.
Speaker: as our heroes prepare to enter Ardentia Abbey and search for the fallen Cygnus Stone, we bring this episode to a close. Thank you for listening to Killarendon, The Hyreling Chronicles, and please join us for our next exciting episode.
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