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Episode 156 - Authenticity and having an edge in your marketing - Phil Santos
55 Plays15 days ago
Happy Woo Wednesdays! I have my past student in the Get a HECK YES house. Phil Santos really dedicated his life to the craft of DJing. He cares so much.
Phil Santos went through the Triple Threat Program and he was able to double his prices and book 6 weddings in 2 months. Holy cow!
I love this deep conversation. He really explains the true meaning of what we do as event pros.
Phil Santos has been using music to bring people together since 2013. He is an award-winning Miami-based wedding DJ who started his career helping millennials and gen z fight loneliness through community-focused dance parties. His passion is to elevate the typical wedding reception into a fulfilling experience of music, family and community.
Hot Topic
- The philosophy of music and how it connects us
- the loneliness epidemic and how we fight it as wedding pros
- the importance of having a WHY
- Authenticity and having an edge in your marketing
Reach out to Phil
https://www.instagram.com/djphilsantos
Connect with Carissa Woo
Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
Happy Woo Woo Wednesdays! I'm headed to the OCWP mixer today at the Hotel Maya in Long Beach. It's ah Orange County Wedding Pros and I was going to be Kusama, the Japanese artist with red hair and red polka dots but I'll save that for later and I just was lazy to cut out the red dots but I'm going to be a pink loofah and I'll make a cute reel for you guys to see.
00:00:25
Speaker
And I'm also in the process of making a YouTube channel revamping mine from, I don't know, 10 years ago. So I'm excited to share with you that. Today I interview my student Phil. He is a Miami wedding DJ, awesome guy. He went through my program, the Triple Threat, and he doubled his prices, literally doubled, and booked six weddings within two months of my program. I am so beyond proud of him. You know, reach out to him um and ask him how my program was.
00:00:54
Speaker
If you want to see results like this, go to heckyes.vip to learn more. It's a done for you program, so you just have to show up. um And yeah, you are going to love this raw and real conversation with Phil. We get so real about our daddy issues and so much more. Enjoy.
00:01:15
Speaker
Welcome to Get a Heck Yes with Carissa Wu. I'm your host, Carissa, and I've been a Los Angeles wedding photographer for over a decade. I've traveled the world, built my team, and seen it all. I now coach wedding photographers hit 10K a month and build a thriving business. In this podcast, we are going to deep dive into how top wedding creatives get that heck yes from their dream clients. We are not holding back on the struggles of the business and how to push through the noise. Some healthy hustle, mindset shifts, up-leveling your money story,
00:01:44
Speaker
Time hacks because I'm a mom of two, a little bit of woo-woo, and most importantly, self-love and confidence are just a few of the many things we will talk about. I want to give you a genuine thank you for following along my journey. I hope to inspire you every Woo Wednesday so that you say heck yes to listening to this podcast. See you guys soon!
00:02:07
Speaker
Hey everyone, welcome back to Get a Heck Yes with your girl Carissa Wu. I have my friend Phil Santos in the house. He's also my student. He went through the Heck Yes triple threat program, and he's been using music to bring people together since 2013. He is an award-winning Miami-based wedding DJ who started his career helping millennials and Gen Z fight loneliness through community-focused dance parties.
00:02:34
Speaker
His passion is to elevate the typical wedding reception into a fulfilling experience of music, family, and community. What's up, Phil Santos? Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. What's up? How can I be here with you? Yay! I'm so excited to talk to a friend, because I feel like we've been through so much together. But just tell the heck yes audience briefly who you are in a nutshell.
00:02:59
Speaker
My name is DJ Phil, DJ Phil Santos. I've been DJing for 12 years. Thank you for that awesome backstory. I think a lot of what we're going to talk about is the why. So I'll tell you a little bit about my why of why I got into DJing. I was super lonely in high school. I didn't have a lot of friends. I remember the feeling of having your lunch. Like, you know, you get your lunch and maybe you move to a new school. Yeah. Like, oh my God, where am I going to sit? Because it's like a minefield, right? So I really...
00:03:32
Speaker
You know, those experiences growing up, being in high school, being in middle school, I was always kind of awkward. And it wasn't until I started going to concerts that I really started to make friends, find community, and really that put together for me the power of music. It's it's so cheesy, but it's also so true. yeah Music is like, it's... vibrating air particles that like sneaks into our ears and causes us to smile at new people and high five people and feel good. And it manipulates our emotions in the best way. So after high school, I started throwing parties in college. They were called Body Talk. We did it for over 20,000 people. We were on NPR. I have an old TED Talk that I'm super embarrassed by because I'm just say
00:04:25
Speaker
much better speaker now. ah So yeah, and it was all about using parties to build community. They were cool parties. They weren't, you know, just ah let's do a bunch of icebreakers and make it feel like work. It it was the cool underground thing, but it also was socially engineered.
00:04:43
Speaker
through the way that they were designed to connect people on the dance floor and with other activities as well. So that's what kind of started me into DJing and what got my heart into DJing. And I started doing weddings about 10 years ago. And with the weddings, the first few I was treating it like a nightclub. Like I didn't, I didn't understand that dichotomy of the nightclub DJ and the wedding DJ.
00:05:10
Speaker
and I got really serious about it though around five years ago with the weddings um just around the time of the pandemic. And man, it's just been so interesting to learn this world and to bring my heart and my mission of connecting people through music into this space where back when I was doing clubs, I never thought of a wedding. I thought it it was a cheesy thing, I think. Yeah.
00:05:36
Speaker
we We saw wedding DJs as like, they're just cross fading and they don't really know how to mix. they're Maybe they're making decent money, but they're not necessarily bringing the heart and soul of a musician to or an artist to what they're doing. um So when i when I started doing, I was like, no, I'm different. I'm gonna mix quickly. I'm going to play the best parts of the songs. I'm going to you know maybe sometimes play the deeper cuts that people don't really remember. Like I'll play the pop, but also like, Oh man, I haven't heard this since middle school. So I bring, I think a lot of musicality to what I do and you know, just good DJ skills. And I think that helps people connect on the dance floor, make those new memories. And what I've realized is that weddings, there is so much potential for connection. Like you have one family here and you have another family here.
00:06:30
Speaker
And if you do a really good job as a DJ or an event planner, wedding planner, then we can really bring and co-mingle those two families together. And I think music is the best way to do that. Yeah, so let's talk about um growing up a little bit lonely. um Walk me through that a little bit. Just like how old were you? Like were you very shy? um And I know concerts like kind of brought you out of your shell, but like talk to me like through like what was going on in your, the young feels, mine.
00:07:00
Speaker
young Phil, I think young Phil was incredibly sensitive, but not to people's emotions. I think a young Phil had an incredibly developed mind and a ton of intellectual curiosity in thinking about the world. um I was very religious when I was young. So I was obsessed with the idea that like, if you fuck up just Sorry, can we curse? Yeah, of course. Okay, okay, okay, sorry. I was obsessed with the idea at 14 that if I sinned once that I would like go to hell. And so I'm just, I was just the rules, the rules, the rules. And really thinking about society in a big way and not necessarily being the most in tune person emotionally, but actually when I got older, I started learning emotional intelligence funny enough through books and through transformational programs and ah through a practice called authentic relating and circling, which is some super like crunchy Burning Man stuff that maybe some folks might know. But um learning about myself, learning how to talk to others, learning how to read others and be in tune emotionally. I also have a partner who is the most emotional and sensitive person. So she's always there to kind of guide me and and show me my blind spots. So
00:08:23
Speaker
That's kind of that's kind of the transformation. I mean, there's a lot that's happened on that journey Yeah, I love that. Let's talk about your first concert. My first concert was blink 182 I think my first record was my sister's first record that I listened to was Green Day and then high school I got into like um underground hip-hop like atmosphere and slug and I just did feel like wow like This is, I can't believe I'm so lucky to be here. Like it just feels like, like you said, so connective and like positive and like you're like lucky or like connecting on a deeper soul level. Tell me about like the early concert years that like really, I don't know, just unleash the Phil Santos. I think you're touching on something, which is who we are when we're young and we're adolescents.
00:09:09
Speaker
And we start to go to music events where we're not just connecting with a random group of people at school who just happen to be our age and live in our zip code, but it's people who are trying to participate in dress in a certain way and participate in a subculture. So it's kind of.
00:09:26
Speaker
There's a lot of permission, I think, to be who we really are that gets unlocked in those experiences. And I think that's also why typically when you're DJing a wedding, you're playing a lot of music that people discovered when they were in their teens. Yeah.
00:09:43
Speaker
because it's so formative. It's where you made your friendships. it's where you I just did a wedding where the bride and groom, they met each other at a club on the dance floor. So to bring it back, you know, they wanted that same kind of house music that connected them initially. So yeah for me, I was in Massachusetts and up there it's all about pop punk and hardcore rock music. So My Chemical Romance was my first after that Fall Out Boy and ska music, hardcore, you know, later on I got into OutKast and Dr. Dre and all the old school hip hop stuff, but wow that was my that was my opening.
00:10:23
Speaker
Yeah, other scene yeah like I feel like as a DJ, if they could flow good, it does bring you back to the past. I'm just like, if you want to be my lover, and everyone's just like going crazy and singing. So yeah, I love that. Let's, let's jump to maybe after college, like your early years, what were you like then? Like what kind of jobs did you have at that time? I guess right out of college, maybe I think we're are we like 21 by then?
00:10:51
Speaker
I forget. I love that you're asking this. So when I got out of college, I was very fortunate in college that at UCF, there was an entrepreneurship center. So that's in Orlando. So there was I had a mentor who really put together and helped me truly believe that I could start a business. And it was a different business than what I'm doing now. It was, you know,
00:11:21
Speaker
dance parties to solve the loneliness crisis, but yeah there's something about that first person who believes in you that I think is everything. And she she really helped me understand that I could make money and be ethical doing it, yeah which as a young you know rebel kind of into punk and into hip hop and just kind of counter-cultural person, that was yeah i think I think people take for granted how cool it is to be an entrepreneur now, but maybe 10 years ago, 12 years ago, it was, you know, pre Zuckerberg or whatever. It was kind of, it was kind of lame. So I actually, I think one of the best jobs I had was cleaning toilets at a music venue. Oh shit. And I thought they'd say, oh shit. Yeah. Oh shit. yeah I wasn't very good at it, but I wasn't.
00:12:19
Speaker
But I was just obsessed with the idea of opening a dance club that would bring people together. So I had friends who owned venues and I was just like, let me study under you, I'll do anything. So I did booking for one, I cleaned toilets at another one. um I was DJing and doing project management. So wow i've tried I've tried really hard not to work for the man.
00:12:45
Speaker
Let's talk about like, yeah, these dance parties, like the early years, like, how did you promote yourself? How did you brand yourself? Like you said, there's all these people coming and like, I know that the loneliness part came from some from childhood. But um how did you be? I don't know, it's kind of vulnerable to even say that you're lonely and then to brand yourself as dance parties for like loneliness. um How did it all come about? Did that mentor like really help you or you just kind of did it? Hmm.
00:13:16
Speaker
Looking back, I think a lot of the reason why I started throwing parties was probably based in my ego and wanting, you know, and like Nietzsche talks about the will to power, I want it to be a big deal. And I can say that now, you know, I've been to therapy, I've done a lot of work on myself, so I can kind of look back and contextualize how I was then. And you know the first few years of throwing those parties, it was so fun for everyone else, but I was so stressed the whole time. And you'll find that with a lot of people who host community events. um They're bringing people together. you know there are people who There are people who have come up to me and said, the community that I met through Body Talk, my party, it kept me from killing myself. Oh my gosh, Bill. Ah!
00:14:08
Speaker
human connection, you know, people who met their partners. I'm sure there are babies that have been born through people who met at the parties, people who found their best friends. You know, there are so many people nowadays, even probably more so than when we started that are chronically like they might not call themselves lonely, but they might not have a meaningful hug or conversation for days on end.
00:14:32
Speaker
um They might not have someone that they can call if they're sick to help them or to take them to the airport or to like really break down and understand what they're going through. You know, we're built as homo sapiens, I think to live in tribes of around 150 people. Yeah. And we're so far removed from that, you know, the time that we spend in screens.
00:14:53
Speaker
looking at screens is going up and the time that we spend looking in someone's eyes is going down. So I really believe in what I do, hosting events, ah producing weddings, you know the value of bringing everyone onto the dance floor, even the elders, even the younger people. um you know If there's two different cultures mixing those cultures together with remixes, I think there's a lot that we can do as DJs to I guess, you know, make people feel connected and and free and happy. You know, I don't think people think of loneliness, they think of a good time. But a good time on the dance floor can lead to solidifying new friendships and finding that core group of people that are going to feel like your tribe. Yeah, you mentioned like being stressed. um Did you say, would you say like you've overcome that as an entrepreneur, like and kind of
00:15:46
Speaker
You mentioned like that being of the ego. I know we're we're a little bit older now. like Do you feel like um when we're young, it starts from the ego you know to be liked and loved and you know be around so people and throw these parties, but does it turn into something else? like Does it evolve into something else?
00:16:06
Speaker
Pardon this short interruption, but guess what? I have a new program. It's for all wedding professionals. It's called The Triple Threat. We redo your brand messaging, the homepage of your website. Part two is we do all your marketing. we create a beautiful brochure so you could start getting on Prefer venue vendor list and we do all your sales so we actually make you a sales presentation leading your client to the heck yes so you get paid. I have a free 20 minute demo training. It's only 20 minutes. Go to my Instagram at Carissa Woo.
00:16:46
Speaker
and DM me the word DEMO. I will send it right over. It's how to get 10 to 15 quality leads in your inbox per month. Enjoy, guys. Krista Wu is a l LA-based wedding photographer who's actually turning business coach. She helped me grow and change, and I'm so proud to call you coach.
00:17:09
Speaker
Tell us how you're feeling, like I want to just know a little bit more about your thoughts. It's beautiful and you're you're awesome. It's beautiful. I'm speechless. I just like the fact that it feels like myself. like i can I feel myself when I see this. Oh man. Well, you got me pumped and excited for this. Carissa, thank you. I think, ah so to answer both parts, on the stressful part,
00:17:34
Speaker
It's not as stressful now. um You know, I've got my sea legs. Events are always going to be kind of stressful because an event is a moment in space and time that we put a lot of intention and planning into and it only happens once.
00:17:54
Speaker
So, you know, I think the best thing I learned is to make a checklist. It sounds so basic, but it's so basic, but actually a paper checklist is my, that's my like hack. There was this this book, I think it's called The Checklist Manifesto, where this writer and doctor, he went into hospitals and he, it was so hard, but he got the surgeons to implement a paper checklist when they did surgery.
00:18:22
Speaker
and the number of like tools that weren't left in people's bodies because that happened. Basically, it improved things like 50% or 60% in terms of outcomes. and it's so So I'm a lot less stressed when I have my checklist. I have my assistant who prepares that for me. You want to see my checklist right now? Yes. I'm a crazy checklist person. You go, bro. I am, too, for certain things. And then for certain things, I'm going to freestyle it. yeah So stress is less for sure. Having an assistant is super helpful. I've realized that as a performer, as an artist,
00:19:04
Speaker
I'm not going to have the client interactions that I want or the performance that I want as a DJ if I'm really, really overwhelmed. Yeah. Yeah. So the assistance, a huge help. Uh, you had another part to the question. Oh yeah. I wasn't waiting for that, but just the ego part, like, um, cause I do know like we all kind of, you know, we are motivated by ego, but.
00:19:31
Speaker
you know, after doing it for so many years, like, what does that ego turn into? Like, what does it evolve into? You know, I've, I've gotten my flowers enough. I've had the I feel like it's been stroked enough. Yeah, in the dance party scene that now I just really want to be good at what I do as a professional in the wedding industry. And to me, that is a service mindset. that is ah you know i was watching I was rewatching White Lotus, this show on HBO about you know really high class hotels. And I was like, wow, the way that he's holding his hands, it's like less threatening as a waiter. I was just paying attention.
00:20:17
Speaker
you know what does five star service look like? Because for me, I'm in service of the couple and I'm in service of their families. And, you know, I only live I'm only living one life here. I i want to make the world better. I'm a full time musician and business owner. So I want everyone that I play music for. I want every professional interaction that I have to leave the world better. And to me, that's there, maybe there's an ego aspect of it, because then I i get more business and I become more successful. And then I get to, you know, people might give me accolades or whatever. But I think trying to really focus on the client experience and really see what I do not as a job, but as a mission is is really helpful.
00:21:06
Speaker
I love that. Okay, one more question before Hot Topic, but just briefly explain like your business, what it looks like today. I know you're in Miami, um but like number of weddings you do, like who you like to serve, and then we'll go into Hot Topic.
00:21:20
Speaker
Sure. So ah right now i have I have two aspects of my business. So I have the residencies. I play at a lot of hotels. So ah it's it's really fun. it's I kind of call it like my practice because I'm at this hotel every week. There's people of all ages, all races and ethnicities of coming from different parts of America. Every single week it's new people. Yeah. so i get to I get to bust out like some music from the 70s and 80s and 60s even. I've learned that if there's old people around, you want to kind of make them feel safe first by playing a few oldies so that when you hop up as a DJ, they're not just like, oh my god, it's going to be banging house music the whole time. So I work at different hotels and country clubs during the week. I have residencies.
00:22:15
Speaker
And then I'm doing about 20 to 25 weddings a year right now. Yeah, that's good. And thanks to your program too. Seriously, the branding and the copywriting, I think that was holding me back so much. So, Sin Suzuki, your partner, she's awesome, master of what she does.
00:22:38
Speaker
so Yeah, the systems have really helped. In terms of what weddings we do, a lot of it ends up being Latin American. and What I mean by that is there might be some people who are born in Latin America, and then someone who's born in the United States, ah or it's people from different Latin American countries, or people who are second generation American, who have a Latin American background, I would say,
00:23:03
Speaker
probably 75% of the couples, I think they see the word Santos, my last name and they see the curly hair and they're like, all right, all right. And you know, we're in South Florida, so there's there's all there's all kinds of people. I would say those are a lot of the folks who book me though. Yeah, good. Yeah, I get a lot of Asian people.
00:23:25
Speaker
ah yeah it is So Phil, what is your hot topic and why is it so near and dear to your heart? So I think from from the perspective, you asked me this a few days ago, and yeah I think from the perspective of what we can give to listeners and how we can add value to wedding professionals who are trying to grow their brand, something I've noticed in your group, ah sometimes folks are kind of shy to show up on social media, to be in front of the camera, to try new things.
00:23:55
Speaker
And I wanted to talk about authenticity and bringing your full self to your marketing. And yeah. You like it? Yeah.
00:24:07
Speaker
yes The the the ah beautiful words. Someone just felt like a twinge of anxiety creep up their neck because they're like, ah, I know, I know I have to.
00:24:20
Speaker
and here's Here's what I'll say first. you know and um Definitely ask questions. you know I think there's a lot to extrapolate from this, but I think that a lot of how I'm able to show up in my marketing has to do with personal development work.
00:24:41
Speaker
So, whether that's, you know, I've been to Tony Robbins experiences, I've been to the landmark forum, that was really transformative. Oh, I love landmark.
00:24:54
Speaker
ah i've I've done you know transformational retreats and stuff. Some people, they go to Burning Man, they are able to dress how they want and behave outside of the confines of traditional society. what you know My mom, she goes to church retreats with the Catholic Church, but she's you know doing something. I think that doing I'm going to say not necessarily talk therapy or CBT because I don't think talking necessarily is it. I think if you're able to go to places where you feel fully accepted, where you're pushing up against your comfort zone, where you're having difficult conversations with people, you might think that what does this have to do with growing my business, but actually
00:25:38
Speaker
who you be, yeah your' your beingness hu is going to bring you business. yeah When you're in that sales consultation, ah people can sense your passion.
00:25:49
Speaker
yeah And if you're not passionate about what you're doing, that's okay too. But I hope that the passionate people win over you because there's only so many there's only so many possible weddings, there's only so many possible events. And I think following the energy that's flowing from you in terms of who you want to serve, how you want to serve them, if you're if you're in a profession and you're not feeling that,
00:26:14
Speaker
drive to do things, then you know, it maybe it can be built. But at least for my brain type, it's just there. You know, they say that we're wounded healers. I was lonely. I needed a connection. Now I'm older. I help people feel connection. Yeah, that's deep. That's real. I'll tell one personal story. um I told this to like people I've won the sales call with or some of my students, but um I hired a coach Latisse Hudson. Shout out to her.
00:26:42
Speaker
Um, and it was expensive course, expensive program. And, um, you know, I was doing all the things and it wasn't working and I would still listen to her content all the time and her free stuff. But then, you know, I finally asked, asked her like, what's, what's wrong with me? Like, what am I not doing? You know, that I'm supposed to be doing. She's like, you just have it and stepped into your power. And I actually did another course with her again, and it worked. So.
00:27:08
Speaker
It was like this podcast has helped me grow like communication wise and I am, you know, I'm on Toastmasters. I'm on the Whipple board. I, you know, I do counts therapy and I wash cut like, and now I can show up like me and you are just like happy to be here, like showing up and um like looking at you, like showing up doing your venue spotlights and like tapping into your power that has been such a,
00:27:37
Speaker
Very exciting for me to watch. um So just to recap on what you're saying, just like personal development, like showing who you really are, being authentic in your sales calls, on your IG lives, on your reels, like this is all going to get you more business, but you could just um add some more tips because we're flowing.
00:28:00
Speaker
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00:28:26
Speaker
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Speaker
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00:29:19
Speaker
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00:29:36
Speaker
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00:29:54
Speaker
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00:30:22
Speaker
And yeah, they are going to get your finances in order so you can continue to scale and succeed. Back to the show. Yeah, okay, cool. I love that you have invested. I feel that in you, like, to create a program like Triple Threat that's vulnerable. I think people don't often realize that literally creating something in the world, whether it's business or it's art or it's both, you know, because it's usually both. It's difficult and a lot of people hold themselves back. um i I do think that everyone has a different brain type. You know, I have a roommate. She works every day on her stuff and she's in there in her dojo of, you know, she she likes to dance. She's doing that every morning at the same time, going to bed at the same time. I'm not that person. So
00:31:12
Speaker
Definitely of everything I'm saying, take what resonates and and leave the rest behind because I know that what works for me might not work for someone else. um But for me, self development has been, I think, key. Also, ah I I used to have three or four projects going on, but recently I just decided to kill everything and it was really hard to do. I don't know if someone can relate to this, but basically I thought I should be writing a book.
00:31:45
Speaker
and i did I did write a book about the power of dance parties to connect people and I wrote 80,000 words and I haven't released it. it's It's on my hard drive. I have not touched it. I haven't edited it. it's I spent two years working on it. I interviewed dozens of people and I also hated it.
00:32:08
Speaker
So it can both be impressive and beautiful and I can want it to exist in the world, but it can, on the other hand, be where my energy was not naturally flowing in that. yeah So at the beginning of ah this year, I decided to work only on weddings, only on my wedding DJ business. And I've already doubled last year.
00:32:31
Speaker
day with help from you too. I've invested, you know, yeah yeah coaching, branding, I've, I've continued to invest and that's been really key too. I was saving a bunch of money for a long time. And one day the switch flipped and I was like, money is hurting me. Inflation is happening. I need to spend all my money as soon as possible wow to grow. And it's, and it's, you know, I just have to ask one question about my coaching program. about What was like the one, um maybe one or two things that just like a like a mindset shift that kind of catapulted your um business just to give our listeners just some something to maybe do today or look forward to or give them some sort of spurt of inspiration.
00:33:22
Speaker
I think the biggest thing for me was having someone else write my copy. So part of the program is you guys create a sales process for us, which is kind of a presentation and another presentation that we can send to venues and then the website and having that all written by someone who actually works in the wedding industry yeah and knows how brides think. And also, you know, sin, she did interviews with us since yeah she understood me, my brand, and then translated that into really good copy.
00:33:59
Speaker
So that that would be something that would drive me crazy for years and I would just put it off and I would question it and I would always change it and it it was just a really big headache for me. And you know, I'll say on the other side, there's a lot of DJs who have websites that don't have barely any copy on it and it's generic and and that's fine. Also, and you know, being able to know who you are, what you stand for, who your avatar is in terms of your ideal client, and and trying to like, it's a process, but I'm always trying to zero in more and more on my my target client and and communicate in a way that's going to resonate
00:34:42
Speaker
Kayla, remember? yeah I'm a good listener. So yeah, we talked all about your person. The exercise that really changed my brain and because there's so many things we do as business owners. You'll listen to a podcast, you'll read a book. It's like in one ear out the other sometimes. What changed my brain was actually I hired a marketing consultant. His name is Omar. He's on Fiverr and we spent an hour only talking about my avatar, Kayla. Wow. And that kind of, it kind of seeped in to me to where if I'm making a logo decision or a naming decision or a copywriting position decision, I'm kind of filtering it through what would Kayla want. Yeah. And Kayla is actually a past client that I have. Yeah. Super cool. We're still doing stuff together. I just DJ'd her.
00:35:34
Speaker
her, one of her events. Oh, cool. Going back to Hot Topic, um like showing up, showing up of your authentic self. um And by doing that, like doing personal development, like what did you learn from the biggest takeaway from maybe like the Tony Robbins um workshop because I never went. So I'm very curious. I know everyone has some sort of breakthrough moment.
00:36:02
Speaker
I mean, I'm going to be honest, I'm just a very honest person. What I got from Tony Robbins is I stopped smoking weed. Interesting. Yeah, I mean, yeah,
00:36:18
Speaker
I think you know, people have their different medicine and they gravitate to different things. For me, my relationship with that substance,
00:36:27
Speaker
It's just making my life cloudy and kind of directionless a little bit. And that's that's what I got from Tony Robbins. I think there's a lot that people do get. I will say also I got a lot more from the landmark forum, which is a different kind of transformational retreat that just kind of worked with my brain a little bit better. Yeah, I got from that was so many things. And I couldn't even tell you how they necessarily relate to business because having a better relationship with my mom or my dad. or ah I remember at the Landmark Forum, actually the hardest part, I'll just tell you a quick story that I don't know how it relates to business at all. It all does. But this this was the hardest thing and it had to do with authenticity for sure. So growing up, you know, as a Latin American, Latin European, whatever man in
00:37:23
Speaker
the 90s and the 2000s there was definitely a lot of homophobia and a lot like in my family and it kind of just comes out and I'm I'm not ah gay like I I'm straight but I still felt it I still felt this pressure to behave as a man. Yeah. A lot of men do. And I could not sing or dance in front of my dad. Oh interesting. If my dad was there. Yeah, you're embarrassed.
00:37:57
Speaker
just closed. She thinks I'm gay because singing, dancing, they're feminine. you know It's Dionysus. It's this like loosening of um the straight line becomes curved. right And at the landmark forum on Saturday, they're just like, yo I know a lot of you have called your parents and you've apologized or you've tried to make amends or you've forgiven them for whatever, but you're going to do this anyway. And then I just, I picked up the phone and I called my dad and I couldn't talk. I was just, there was, I had no voice. He's like, what's up? And I'm like, dad.
00:38:45
Speaker
Like I could not talk. shit I was like and like, I was like at the top of my like, just holding back tears. And I was like, dad, I just want to apologize.
00:38:59
Speaker
for not showing myself to you all these years. oh I'm not gay, but I've felt so embarrassed of doing anything feminine in front of you, like singing or dancing or dressing the way that I really want to dress. yeah ah and he he didn't quite get it. He's like, it's okay if you're gay. I'm like, dad, I'm not gay. But but I was man, that was probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. That's so crazy. It's but after that, I guess I could play guitar in front of him. I could sing in front of him. I felt more ease. And I have very like I feel very similar to you because
00:39:41
Speaker
I'm very, like, a little scared of my dad. I can't show up myself, too. Like, yesterday, he's, like, like, blasting the, you know, presidential debate. And I'm, like, I'm licking my ears and, like, ringing. And I'm, like, can you turn it down just a little bit? He's just, like, like, I'm trying to listen. And I'm, like, just a little, little, little, little. Like, you know, it's like we're all scared of our dad. I think, I think that's so, I'm just kind of thinking this now, but I think where this relates is our dads are like the scariest people in the world yeah to be ourselves. and Totally.
00:40:19
Speaker
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00:40:36
Speaker
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00:41:06
Speaker
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00:41:28
Speaker
So yeah if you've done it for your dad, you can do it for some strangers on Instagram. yeah I think it just kind of unblocks all of that authenticity to let it flow. We had a mental mind block today.
00:41:45
Speaker
Yeah. I love that this is so different than your other episodes, by the way. Yeah. I love it when I just like, we're just talking about deep stuff, but I did want to ask you, um, I could be wrong, but,
00:41:56
Speaker
Before we started coaching, like did you show up on Instagram? Because I feel like you're like so like articulate and like you're well-produced, great microphone, doing all these great venue walkthroughs. um but Has there been like some sort of shit? Because you're on fire right now. Thank you. I appreciate that.
00:42:19
Speaker
um I did a lot of content before before doing strictly DJ Phil Santos content, which is the only Instagram I'm growing now. I grew other ones with other brands. So I was doing a personal brand as an author thought leader that was about using music to bring people together and you know always talking about community and connection and stuff like that.
00:42:44
Speaker
I also had a company, and this is ah probably a big reason why I'm comfortable, is I had a company that used silliness. like our our we were We were kind of doing workshops that we said silly is sacred, so they were all about using play, improv,
00:43:05
Speaker
dead dance, improv comedy, ah singing games to get people out of their shell. And you know you would just go in and you would feel like, ah, I don't know if I do this stuff. And then you would come out and you'd just be like singing at the top of your lungs with everyone. You feel like you're best friends with everyone. And then I would see people the week after saying, oh, I'm going to finally start my YouTube channel, or I'm going to start posting on Instagram, or whatever it might be. it's just kind of was I was feeding people's creative fire. That was called ecstatic playground, kind of like ecstatic dance, but ecstatic playground. And yeah, so I built a bunch of Instagram content around that, but I killed everything that wasn't feeding me. I killed everything that didn't lead to ah financial growth. oh my Lights are turning on.
00:43:55
Speaker
Because there's a lot of art, there's a lot of broke, like sort of broke artists out there that are kind of half-assing their careers because they can. And, you know, working on these projects, and I've done so many community projects, I've connected so many people, I'm like, all right, that can, that's, that's off to the side now. I can do that up later. I've built the communities and everything.
00:44:17
Speaker
now let me build a family, now let me build wealth. When we first started like working together, you were pretty hungry. you're like You're on this, I don't know, jumping off the cliff to just like explode into like the person that you're supposed to be. and i i mean so What good is like your your savings going to do if you're not... like You can put that money to work. you know Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You must have some interesting conversation with your girlfriend at dinner.
00:44:49
Speaker
About all the cool things that you're doing. Okay, um, what is your best heck? No, best. Heck yes sales technique. How do you get your head guests from your dream client? To get the yes.
00:45:07
Speaker
I think, so two things are coming to mind. One is the sales presentation that you made. like I'm sorry, but I'm just closing a lot more. I don't know if that's helping people. Maybe it'll help them. It'll inspire them to join the program. But definitely the sales presentation that you designed has been helping me a ton with closing and kind of organizing my presentation yeah in a way that leads to yes. Yeah. So that 15 years in the making. So yeah, if it works, it works, you know,
00:45:40
Speaker
Uh, I would say also, I hate to say it again, but just being passionate about what I do. Yeah. i I'm sorry for everyone that's like, that's a nothing burger, but so look, do you feel it? Like, you know in your heart if you feel it. yeah And if you don't, that's okay. There's a lot of people that, you know, feeling, being passionate, that's not necessarily it. What can you do to feel more passionate? Well, get good. Because if you get good, and you're honest, and you listen to your DJ sets, and you listen to all your shitty transitions, and you get better the next time, you're going to get better feedback, you're going to get
00:46:18
Speaker
Praise and a claim and higher paying gigs and that's gonna lead to a positive feedback loop that's gonna build more passion So, you know, I think I think that's most of it. Yeah, what are your um, I mean you've done so much personal growth um in the past, you know, whatever years but what do you Some people I would feel like are stagnant and they're like, okay, I'm done. you know like i just I want to cruise now. like What is your mindset on personal growth like for the next like three to five years?
00:46:54
Speaker
A lot of it is rooted around having a partner.
00:46:59
Speaker
if If you ever feel like you're good and you're in a good place and you attract that dream partner, that person is going to poke you. Especially especially a good partner, yeah you're going to illuminate your blind spots because as humans, we're all pathetic, we're all crazy. There's no one that's easy to live with. and I think just continuing to, whenever she brings something up, actually looking at it, and as a man, as as as Phil Santos, I won't speak for all men, that's really hard to do. it's it's It takes a lot of humility, it takes a lot of listening, and I truly believe that my woman knows more about where my blind spots are than I do.
00:47:45
Speaker
Yeah, because she has to deal with them. She has to deal with the perfectionism and lack of attention. And kind of what what we've been learning lately is she would rather have an hour of my full attention, full attention than four or five hours of distracted energy. That's just like kids to kids to Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I love that you said that. And Like people always say like the kids are a mirrors, but your good partner is like ah a reflection, a mirror on, you know, yourself. One more question before we go into rapid fire questions, but speak to the hearts of wedding pros. I'm not gonna say the word struggling. I just said it, but um speak to the hearts of wedding photograph bu and professionals that just want to make it. And they're just tired and they're doing all the things
00:48:43
Speaker
but they feel like it's not working. um What can you tell them them tell them today to just get out the funk and do it, make it happen? I'm going to try. This is not my personality type, but I'm going to try because typically when I'm talking to myself around what I should what i should be doing, all the should energy,
00:49:09
Speaker
It's very toxic. It's my dad's voice, you know, it's, it's a man whipping. I'm whipping myself and it doesn't work. And it leads to a lot of, um, it puts, it can put me in a bigger funk. So to everyone that has that inner critic and it's strong. Okay. I'm going to tell, I'm going to do two things. yes One, if you have a strong inner critic,
00:49:39
Speaker
Do's, I invite you as a human being living in 2024 to do parts work. That's a specific therapeutic modality. It exists in many different places, okay but basically you have to go back into the pain, go back into wherever, wherever those memories were created that create all of that self-inflicting wound stuff and bring gentle, kind, loving awareness and energy to it and listen to that part.
00:50:12
Speaker
And that probably sounds like a bunch of woo woo stuff, but hey, we're on the woo podcast. This is the most woo episode. um I want to take the the trophy on that one. holy So I think doing some kind of work with your inner critic is very helpful.
00:50:29
Speaker
um And I don't recommend talk therapy. It's never helped me. I recommend doing the hippie stuff to be honest with you. Just do the hippie stuff. The hippies are right about some things. They're wrong about other things. um So that's one thing that's very kind of nebulous, but it's out there. The other thing I would say is if you feel down in the dumps and you maybe you want to build momentum and you're like, man, I've been trying at this thing and it's not necessarily successful.
00:51:00
Speaker
Build on whatever you do have. So you can go online and see one guy is wearing $5,000 suits and he's dressed so well and his page is so swaggy. If that's not really you, don't try to don't don't don't try to copy that strategy. yeah Another person might be talking on camera all the time.
00:51:22
Speaker
and they're really good looking and you know they're getting a lot of attention on camera. if that If you don't feel like you can do it in that way, maybe there's another way you can be on camera. you know For me, I like to talk. i I read a lot of books. I like to you know come up with interesting ideas. ah so that's kind of That's why I have this backdrop with the books in the background and whatever, because that's me. That's that's authentic. so I think find on where you have gotten accolades, where you have gotten good feedback, and then building on that. And then always paying attention to what's working and what isn't. And I'll give that, I'll give i'll put that out. you know it was so good That might resonate with some, might not resonate with others, that's fine. If it doesn't resonate, do things your way.
00:52:10
Speaker
um that really resonated with me. Okay, three rapid fire questions, super, super short. What is your favorite music artist? Oh, my gosh. I'm so bass. I'm, I'm embarrassingly basic right now. But i'll I'll just say it like right now. I love Chaperone. Okay. Yeah. top Yeah. What is your favorite thing about your girlfriend? One thing.
00:52:35
Speaker
ah Really smart, really honest, and completely different than me. pull her up That's perfect. Favorite book or podcast or bold? Right now, my favorite podcast is yours.
00:52:55
Speaker
Oh, stop. Stop. My other favorite podcast is I've really been enjoying ah Kill Tony. it's It's a comedy podcast. It's yeah it's funny. It's very funny. Cool. And then where could everyone find you? Just any lasting words? Oh, I think you said favorite books. so I'm just going to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah ah I'm reading fiction again. ah nice So much nonfiction. I'm just trying to make it fun. So right now the world according to garb fiction is great. um ah Besides that, I'm just going to shout out one book non violent communication. It'll help you argue better, help you disagree better, help you understand people better. ah So where could you find me at DJ Phil Santos on
00:53:47
Speaker
Instagram, honeydj.com. My company is called Honey DJ Entertainment. And we're kind of putting the final touches on the website, but I think it'll be ready by the time this comes out. So there you go. Thank you, Phil. Thank you, Carissa.
00:54:06
Speaker
Thanks for joining me this week on Get a Heck Yes with Carissa Wu. Make sure to follow, subscribe, leave a review, or tell a friend about the show. Take a screenshot and post to IG. Tag me. Also, don't forget to download my free guide on how to become a lead generating machine. See you next time, wedding pros!