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Ep. 76 Unwelcome
203 Plays2 years ago
YOU ARE NOT WELCOME
YOU ARE NOT WELCOME
YOU ARE NOT WELCOME
YOU ARE NOT WELCOME
YOU ARE NOT WELCOME
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Transcript
Arrival in the Misty Land
00:00:04
Speaker
previously on the hired swords. Across the river and into the mists, the darkness creeping from around every corner. These grounds aren't welcoming and it reminds us with every fall of a footstep. We're not supposed to be here. Nothing good will come of this.
Introduction to 'The Hired Swords'
00:00:51
Speaker
You're listening to the Hired Swords, a podcast against the patriarchy like it's 1983.
Character Introductions
00:01:12
Speaker
Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of The Hired Swords. My name is Michael, and I'll be playing the role of Dungeon Master tonight. I also have Derek here. He's going to play Daven, the sorcerer. You said everything, so now I have nothing I need to say. And Mikey's here. He's going to play Joxer. I'm going to make you look delicious.
00:01:35
Speaker
Pick it to you. Oh, I don't know what that is, but it sounds delectable. Ash is with us. She's Gwyndolin, the druid. I like tree bark. This is true. And last, but never least, for he is my cousin, is Blaze, Krigs' Goldr, or Safran Imber Oak, if you please.
00:01:53
Speaker
I please. He pleases. How many names can we give him? Let's give him seven more. Me, mushroom daddy, snow for an embero. God of all things. I like all of them. Backpack. I like all of them.
Renaming the Untouched Lands
00:02:10
Speaker
It's like calisthenics McGee. Yeah. Yeah. PE teacher. Older boy. Soldier boy. If only I knew that dance. I do not though.
00:02:23
Speaker
Well, I guess I'll just kind of recap us real quick. When we last left off, we had made it into the untouched lands. It seems dark forest filled with mist. Great question. Yeah. Do we have to change the name now that we've touched it? That's a great question. And here's my answer. Uh, yeah, you do. What are you going to call it? Can we name this land now?
00:02:45
Speaker
No way. Yeah, you guys have a flag or something to put in this is like we need one. I call it friend land. I use creation to create a map. OK, friendly flag flag flag. Yeah, there's going to be bark. It's a flag of a man is going to be. Can we call it friend land instead? Friend land. Friend land. So that's where we left off.
00:03:07
Speaker
That's where we are now. What are you guys going to do besides make a map? No, you were most recently you did test the testing things out. You kind of pushed the bark on the tree and it kind of had this nasty oozing black bubbly grossness. You also were walking a little ways and you also have Cameron Stone with you.
00:03:27
Speaker
kind of traveling with you as he's hunting Darnaldi just as you are.
Encounter with Ethereal Mist Creatures
00:03:31
Speaker
And you were walking from there. Did you call him Cameron Stone? I meant Carmen, Cameron. Cameron Stone. Yeah, I made him up, so I can call him. Carmen's brother. While we're renaming things, while we're renaming things, when he got into the untouched land, his name changed to Cameron, so.
00:03:47
Speaker
weird that happens but you are finally towards the end of that session last week you're surrounded it seems by well first ash saw this. Figure looking like a person's begin to talk to it so jocks are decided hey i'm going to cast my cool little trick that i can do with.
00:04:05
Speaker
Spell slots and see if I can see what spell slots are seeing with its blind sight and sure enough They're surrounded by some sort of ethereal Dark mist creatures flickering in and out of existence just staying on pace with them as they walk through this forest This is where you guys find yourselves. What is it that you were going to do at this point?
00:04:32
Speaker
That is an excellent question. You've just been made aware that you're surrounded by these things. It said something. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. I think Gwen yelled out something. And then I just said that we're not alone or something to that
Illusions in the Forest
00:04:50
Speaker
extent. Correct. Yeah. Something along those lines. I guess Gwendolyn would start walking towards where she saw the chattery of figures. So she would leave. So instead of going in the direction that we need to be going, which was north.
00:05:02
Speaker
Um, I want to start walking towards the figure. Okay. You start heading kind of west to your left where it was at. And as anybody, I guess you guys notice her walk in that direction. Everybody make perception checks as she walks that way. I would also with this information, if I haven't already, I'll cast Mage Armor. Oh, of course you will. Oh, now who did it first?
00:05:22
Speaker
Nine for me. We're doing perception, was that? Actually, yes, perception. I'm actually pretty sure both of you already have mage armor rolling. Yeah, I think so too, but. Yeah, 100%. I think you look at each other and you're like, are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready.
Past Encounters and Reality Disconnect
00:05:37
Speaker
Okay, go. You had double mage armor. He cast it out. I think he cast it without me. And then I looked at him to cast it together and he had already done it and I was left by myself. Oh, the question is. I'll cast it again.
00:05:47
Speaker
Are these good boys breathing? Yes, they have major armor on. Yeah, good point. I rolled out a team for my perception. I did a whopping three. Great. Hold on, I need to look at spell slots because I'm still looking through them. Does he get advantage on something? Spell slots, I get nothing. They could try to figure that out. That's what I'm doing right now. Derek, did you roll perception? I did, but I don't want to talk about it.
00:06:14
Speaker
Okay, I'll take that as a fail. It is a nine. Okay, Ash. Oh, I thought they were doing Oh, yeah, that's not you. Sorry. You're the one they're perceiving. She begins to walk that direction walking towards the west notice kind of her go away from the pathway you were kind of not path. There's no real path, but kind of away from the direction you were headed and
00:06:35
Speaker
You definitely software notice that she's headed that way and as you look you see it looks like she's approaching this creature in ash as you're walking you're walking towards it and it seems like you can get closer. You can't get closer to it but it's not getting farther but it seems like it just stays the same distance and.
00:06:56
Speaker
And Safran Krigs, to you, she's walked by it. You don't know where she's going now. She's walked right past this creature that just flickers into existence. You see this black shape of like a humanoid figure and these golden eyes looking out. And then it flickers away and then back again. And it's not moving, but she walked right through the thing. But Ash. Are you going to make me roll to see if I remember this happening to me? No, I think you'd
Grappling with a Strange Environment
00:07:24
Speaker
remember.
00:07:25
Speaker
Yep. You hear Gwendolyn. I know you're there. Just get out and show yourself. Stop going away. And I try to run closer to it. I also have to paint a visual of Joxer right now with his eyes closed. And he all he he sees figures through the blind side all around him. So he's just like losing it. There's a question.
00:07:53
Speaker
Is that figure between me and Gwen at this point? Like, I see it's like she's gone past it. Yeah. Right. I'm going to yell out, Gwen, stay where you are. I want to I want to try something. And I'm going to start approaching her and see if I can see what happens whenever it's stuck between us. Is it going to somehow phase past her out of my sight or is it going to what's going to happen with it?
00:08:23
Speaker
Okay, yeah, as you begin to walk closer, you just are walking towards it and you walk towards it and make an insight check as you begin to do that. Can I get a re-roll on that? Because it kind of had a tilt on my dice and it didn't land normal. It landed cocked.
00:08:51
Speaker
Yeah. OK. Yeah, sure. I trust you. Where lies? I rolled another 19. Oh, insight. Let me see my character sheet. That's a thing. Oh, God. Plus five for once. I have a stat that has a number. Oh, numbers. So good. Nice. Twenty four. They're so used to zero. Yeah, bro. You aren't seeing these things like you see them. It's like you see them there.
00:09:19
Speaker
but you're feeling like they're not there. They're somewhere else. You get this sense that like, like you can feel when there's people around you, like, you know, your eyes are closed and you feel when somebody gets close to you, right? And you're not feeling that when you get right up to this person, even though you're looking right at this thing or looking, it's super strange. Like it's there, but it's not there, but you see it, but it's just this,
00:09:49
Speaker
It's this out of out of consciousness, almost experience that you're feeling now as you make this realization.
Footprints Disappearing and Eerie Atmosphere
00:09:57
Speaker
Hmm. Okay. I tried real hard to bamboozle your, your, your, your, your, your, your play here, but, uh, didn't work. Can't apologize. What do you see, Gwen? What are you seeing this, the figure kind of move away from you, even though to me standing back there, it looked like you had walked past it.
00:10:19
Speaker
I didn't walk past him. It didn't feel that way. Right there. I assure you, he's not quite just there. Daven, do you recall back in the wilds, the first adventure out, the creatures that you and I saw, the ones at night, the golden eyes in the dark? I remember us. I believe we're running into these again here.
00:10:47
Speaker
Well, the good news is they didn't attack us, right? We are fine then. They didn't attack us then, but based on Jox's reaction and Gwen's, what she's noticed as well, I believe that there's more than one. Um, yeah. So I know you guys walked out there, but they're everywhere. Uh, check, check the ground. I remember something with, uh, um, the little feet. Do you remember that Gwen?
00:11:16
Speaker
I stand there and I just kind of start like stamping my foot around on the ground to see if it's hollow or something, not really understanding what the heck he's talking about. Devin's going to get on the ground and start examining the dirt, not knowing what to look for. Devin, you'll make a mess of yourself. Stand up, lad. I'm not actually touching anything and I'm going to use mold earth to just slide things around. Gwendolyn sits there and just kind of thinks what Joxer is referring to. Um,
00:11:45
Speaker
We can cut this out. I don't remember that there. I don't know what you're talking about either. One, one. Whenever we were out in the woods and I was having nightmares and we found little like footsteps around
Endless Journey and Time Distortion
00:11:59
Speaker
me. Oh, the next morning. Yeah. OK. Um.
00:12:07
Speaker
Gwendolyn, she just kind of looks around and she remembers the footprints and she starts to look for them. Does she see any? Make a perception or investigation check. I'm going to make one too. Make some guess, guess, guess, guess checks. I rolled 17. I definitely can do it. Dagen can bear it too. I felt trouble making words. What chaos door did we just open and walk into?
00:12:38
Speaker
Yeah, seriously. Real gnarly there for a minute. I rolled a dance. 19 plus 2. Wow. 21? You don't have to prove it with your camera. I have to prove it. OK, that is a 19. Or it's a 61. Go with a 61. That's much higher. It's like a 19. 61 is good. OK, 61 plus 2. A little more like a 6L because of the little dash on the top of the wall. If your modifier was an 8, that would be great. I rolled a perception as well. Oh my god.
00:13:07
Speaker
17 plus one eight. Nice, Derek. What did Daven make on that? Two. I rolled a two. Oh, you are killing it today. Yeah. All right. So you look around and you in fact see nothing that resembles footprints at all. What the heck, Mike? Come on. Ash, you don't even see your footprints. Your own. Oh. With an above 20.
00:13:34
Speaker
You realize you don't even see your own footprints. What on earth is happening? What is happening? And she makes the observation. Look at your feets, guys. Just look down. I look at my feet. Do you notice anything weird?
00:13:58
Speaker
I continue stamping on the ground. You're stamping, it affects the ground. Things move around and stuff, but it seems to constantly be in a state of shifting and changing to where nothing stays behind very long when you step. It's like the dirt is constantly like reshuffling itself. It's like a video game that doesn't commit enough memory to being in the portals. Yeah, it's totally reanimating or re...
00:14:24
Speaker
yeah re-engineering itself seems like every few seconds and so we're in a video game guys roll a history check you know what video games are or maybe a future check or whatever dimension check we're gonna create video games yeah a net hundred not not in the same spot just walk and see if something follows you
00:14:55
Speaker
And she's trying to make it a learning lesson. I don't know why, but that's what Gwen's doing. Did you say walk this way? No, no. Talk this way. Gavin's going to use mage hand and just draw a smiley face in the dirt. Yeah. It stays there for a second or two and then kind of slowly the, everything just, it's not like what you drew is being manipulated and like, Oh no, put, take that away. It's just like everything around it and everywhere is shifting so much.
00:15:24
Speaker
that eventually it affects that as well and just completely just covers it like waves washing sand to where what you drew in the sand there was washed away. Well, the good news is I don't think we have to worry about being tracked. I guess lucky for Carmen that he caught up to us now. Yes, I guess that's true. I was just thinking that he says to you. I forgot I was here.
00:15:53
Speaker
I'm just going to call him Charmeleon. I'm going to call him some different every time. Charmeleon. Charmeleon. Charmeleon. Charmely. I don't know. I mean, this is a little disturbing, sure, but I don't know how that really affects anything that we're doing. Would I have known anything before I start talking and start spitting out gibberish? Does Gwendolyn, what does she know about
00:16:19
Speaker
How are footprints made? They're made with gravity, isn't it? And how soft soil is? Yeah, I mean, the pressure of a foot stepping into the dirt would push everything around to displace it in order to create the footprint that was made. Just like displacing water. All these science majors are gonna be like, one of them's really dumb.
00:16:42
Speaker
Or I just explained it terribly and they're going to think I'm dumb. High science majors out there listening. High science majors. You're not in the college anymore. We have same major very much. Please leave comments about how dumb we are. Just keep listening. We don't care what you think of us. Part of my, I'm getting this so off track, I'm sorry. Just like Gwen does.
00:17:09
Speaker
I was about to be, maybe we're in like, my Ashley brain. I'm thinking we're in like,
00:17:17
Speaker
a courtyard and we're actually walking on concrete and not dirt. But that makes no sense for the context of where we're at and what we're
Reflections on the Journey
00:17:25
Speaker
doing. I could be an illusion. That's true. I could be an illusion. I was thinking that we're actually doubling back now in a weird way. So we're just walking back to Wild Hill, but in the, you know, opposite. Is this the upside down? Yeah, Wild Hill starts taking notes.
00:17:46
Speaker
Are these all good ideas? You're welcome. I'm coming up with this crap. You guys keep going. See, there's no footprints. Your stick figure didn't stay. Something is going on here. It's not right.
00:18:06
Speaker
And she probably would feel for the ground. Does she feel concrete? Because now Ashley's brain seeping into Gwendolyn's brain. It feels like dirt. Feels like forest floor. Some sticks there. I try to dig. Stuff like that. You successfully dig. You can dig in a little bit. How deep do you want to dig? Are you trying to dig a grave? I want to go until it tries to make it flat again.
00:18:29
Speaker
Okay, well you'll notice like kind of like building a saying like digging a hole in the sand like as you're digging, you know, the stuff just kind of starts falling in the edges. There's nothing noticeable like all of a sudden the things like oh, fill times come and it starts to fill up. You know, it's just like, it's just it's it's like the sand is kind of fighting against you slowly. You could dig a full deep hole here if you wanted to it just would probably only last a day or so before it's completely filled in again.
00:18:57
Speaker
Gwendolyn being the weird girl, she's gonna take a pile of dirt and put it in a pocket in her bag. Pocket sand, yeah. Pocket sand. All my enemies. No, she's gonna keep it for when they get back to Wild Hill at some point. Cool. Write that on your inventory. You have a pocket of untouched land sand. Untouched land dirt. Untouched land sand. I like that. Previously untouched land sand.
00:19:28
Speaker
You guys are touching it all over I know You guys you guys figure anything out. I don't I don't want to Stop this blind sight until we have a direction we Okay Nice space balls reference
00:19:53
Speaker
So Jockster, why don't you make another perception check as you continue to look around and get that blind side up. Hopefully better than the two twos I've rolled so far. That's a four. I doubled down. So that is exactly the same as two twos. Yeah, it's a five, a whopping five. Yeah. So, um, yeah, you're still trying to say, and you're just kind of still see this swirling, like,
00:20:21
Speaker
They're there. They're not there. There's one over here. No, it's gone, but there's one over there now, but they're, they're just like appearing and disappearing, coming in and out of this, this ethereal form all around you. There's not more. There's not less. They're just there. Yeah. I don't, I don't know what I'm looking at right now. It, it, it doesn't, I don't, it doesn't make me. Yeah, I don't know.
00:20:46
Speaker
I think it doesn't matter. I think we got to keep moving forward. We're not going to discover anything that fixes our problem by digging into our chart, looking at costly figures. That doesn't seem unfair. All right. Uh, spell slots. You can go and then he'll disappear.
Carmen Stone's Insights on Dark Magic
00:21:08
Speaker
Devin's going to attempt to lead by walking what he thinks is north. All right. Make a survival check. Okay.
00:21:17
Speaker
Oh, wait, no, it's a 19. Okay. I actually have a chance on this survival. I thought it was a nine. I got 20 total. Yeah. So you remember where you were headed that you haven't gone off track too far. So you just could kind of turn your right yourself towards the direction you were trying to go before and kind of start to lead the way that direction.
00:21:39
Speaker
Um, you probably hear Gwendolyn say, oh, Dale, it's not, it's in a different pocket. You're not going to get dirty. And she just slaps her bag and wipes her hands and kind of looks off into the distance to where the little spooky man's are and just kind of shrugs and waves. And then starts walking back towards where Daven and starts following him.
00:22:04
Speaker
Okay. Jockster, are you keeping blind side up as you walk? If someone will guide me, otherwise I will... Well, no, I just put away spell slots, so I'm not. I'm just walking with everybody.
00:22:17
Speaker
Okay, so just as you go to put away spell slots, you drop blind sight, you start to kind of pull out of this, this strange kind of mental awareness of where everything is because you're not seeing with your eyes, you're just aware. And suddenly you're aware of this different creature.
00:22:37
Speaker
ahead of you, kind of to your right. And she's different but familiar. And you sense this smile of approval as she fades away with everything else suddenly. And then you're back in your right, your normal mind and take a second to shake that off as you begin to travel with the group.
00:23:01
Speaker
Yep. That happened. I honestly, like, don't know. I will just try to, you know, walk behind the group and look around. OK. Davins is determined at this point, he's just he's just focused forward trying to get them somewhere that is not here or somewhere, hopefully at the solution.
00:23:29
Speaker
Krigs, are you going to continue North as well with everybody? Yeah, I believe so. All right. Somebody roll a D 100 for me. I'm the leader. I'll do it. Yay. It's 61. Okay. Officially 61, not 19. All right. So, um,
00:23:50
Speaker
You guys begin walking and as you are walking, you find yourself continually just kind of passing these. It's like you're passing through a crowd, almost not a crowd, but like every ever so often there's one of these like ethereal type creatures that
00:24:12
Speaker
you seem to suddenly look feel like you're being looked at and you look and there they are and then they're gone as soon as you make as soon as you make visual of them they're gone again and there's one over here to the left and gone again and then there's one just ahead of you and you look there it is nope it's gone again every time you do that suddenly.
00:24:31
Speaker
They're gone and you just continue on like this and you walk and you walk and you walk until there's really no sun. There's really no, I mean, there's some brightness in the sky, but it it's confusing. It seems like there's the day has
00:24:52
Speaker
Kind of just dragged on and on and on and you start to feel a little worn out and tired and hungry and just like your muscles are aching and like you've been you feel like you've really been traveling a while if somebody will make a survival check for me. Somebody who feels like they're good at that. I don't feel like that's me. I am 13 plus nine.
00:25:22
Speaker
Yeah, that's pretty good. So as you're walking, you, you start to feel that way and you just kind of feel like you're dragging and you kind of stop and think for a second and you just kind of trace in your mind using kind of the, just the knowledge you have of traveling through the forest and, and what you, what the experiences you've had and time and how it kind of works. And you realize.
00:25:45
Speaker
You are well into what should be night at this point, like later than you would normally travel. You've been traveling for what feels to you now, like hours and hours and hours. And it is, it's, you're starting to feel pretty worn down and tired.
Failed Fire and Magic for Light
00:26:05
Speaker
Uh, you see Gwendolyn kind of just looking up at the sky and
00:26:13
Speaker
Even though there was no sun before she just. She's just kind of curious it seems like. Time isn't a thing here because according to my tree tree bark watch it seems like it would be nighttime. Does that also do calculations. What's that.
00:26:41
Speaker
Sorry, redact. Yeah, it's been a spell, hasn't it? What's the river sound like? Does it sound like, can we still hear it? Have we walked far away to where it's like the sound has gone? Yeah, you don't hear it anymore. Well, at least we know we're making some distance, right?
00:27:07
Speaker
I believe we are. Dale says he's tired of walking. I'll go get some sticks. And even though Dale has been in her bag all day and has not walked, um, she still goes to get some sticks. He shares our load of, you know, work. That is true.
00:27:30
Speaker
Craig, so I don't know how you feel about this, but I'm kind of at a loss here. Like, I don't know what we're doing, like what we're finding. Seems like we're just walking in the dark, quite literally, you know? I mean, that does kind of just feel like it's our MO anyway, but
00:27:50
Speaker
I don't know, this place is different, but it's not so unlike things we've seen before. If you think back to that night in the wilds with the eyes in the woods, or if you think back to the lands near where we fell the great elk, and how gray and dull and everything just seemed so disconnected from life. We've seen pockets of this, I think, before, but this is
00:28:19
Speaker
This is all of it at once everywhere. That's the part that worries me. I have no idea what we're walking into and I have no idea if we're prepared to deal with what it brings. So yeah, I don't have a good idea. I don't have a great feeling about this or a sense of direction. I have no North Star here. I don't know.
00:28:49
Speaker
I have no bearing. Your guess is as good as mine. I think that we have to be our own North Star. As long as we stay together, that should be fine. Well, then we'll just keep trusting that we're doing the right thing. Common, do you have any idea of any of this from your dealings with Anton Aldi?
00:29:20
Speaker
I can't say I've ever seen anything like what we're seeing here. You know enough about me to know that feeling like I always have eyes on me is not a comfortable situation. I can't say that I
00:29:39
Speaker
I have heard Darnaldi speak of things such as this, but I definitely get the feeling that he would have felt more welcome here, just knowing more about him and the types of magics and things that he was a part of. This feels right up his alley, so to speak.
00:30:01
Speaker
It seems based on his maps and notes that have been found, this might... I don't want to say it's a place he was necessarily looking directly for, but this is as good as what I would call the Shadow Wilds. I... I really don't know what he was up to. Well, that phrase does sound familiar. I believe he had it written on notes or some notebooks or things that he died...
00:30:29
Speaker
Yeah, grabbed here and there in red, hopefully without his knowledge. But so we have that uncommon news flash. We robbed his cabin. It was great fun. OK, OK. OK, OK. OK, I opened my pack and pull out that lovely piece of fabric I got. What do you call this, then robbed? That's that's lovely. Gwendolyn's back by now and throws like little twigs that she found on the ground.
00:30:59
Speaker
I didn't steal anything. No, you didn't. And we didn't either. I mean, until we have a benefit of these things that are not stolen, they're just misplaced in our possession. You've got an interesting sense of morality, Daven. I don't know what you know about me, but I'm not the type to judge anyone for any kind of thievery or borrowing or whatever you'd like to call it.
00:31:28
Speaker
As far as I see it, whoever has possession, it belongs to them. I like that. Oh, Krigs, let me see that real quick. You're going to give it back, right? I have plans. I will not destroy it. I hand it back. I hand it over. OK. And then I stuff it in that bag that we took from Don Aldi's. The magic portal one? Yeah, yeah.
00:32:02
Speaker
You said. I said I wouldn't harm it. It's not in this bag. You can see it's empty. Daven, you have the other bag, right?
Anecdotes and Lightening the Mood
00:32:11
Speaker
I thought you had the other bag. Oh, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I have it here. I pull out the bag. Do I have it now?
00:32:20
Speaker
Yeah, it's in there now. Sorry, I just I very quickly pull it out of the other bag and stuff it into my bag and be like, see if I gave anything to you again. I just I just needed something to break the mood. Carmen's laughing just you. You're all the strangest beings I've ever known. So Carmen, when you have nothing, the smallest things mean a lot. I could see that I suppose.
00:32:50
Speaker
Besides, summer linens are going to look great on me. You gathered. Let's start a fire. Maybe it'll lighten the mood. We'll build a fire. All right. Who's building a fire? I'm going to try. All right. Discuss with me how you are going to try to build a fire.
00:33:18
Speaker
Um, I just make it. Okay. Do it. So I do it and I'm done. Um, I try to make some kindling with, uh, produce flame and see if I can get it going. Go ahead. I was about to say, there's probably no wind here. It doesn't feel like it. No, you haven't experienced any wind. There's nothing here. Nope.
00:33:45
Speaker
Yeah, I'd probably get the kindling done, but she didn't gather much because she didn't feel right going up to the actual branches on the trees and taking them off. So she just has like pathetic looking little sticks. Sure. And the stuff you do find, you know,
00:34:03
Speaker
Yeah, you're right. It's pathetic looking. It's just kind of like little little bits of nothing more than a foot, foot and a half long. And as you pick them up and you kind of feel they feel squishy and soggy. So you cast your produce flame. And basically, as soon as you stop using the magic to produce the fire, nothing's left. Nothing is consumed. There's nothing here that's catching fire, even your little kindling and sticks.
00:34:29
Speaker
It's as soon as the magic stops so that you can just not concentrate anymore and walk away the fire goes out. I think it's going to be a bit harder than we think. I can't even get this kindling going and not not because I can't build a fire but because.
00:34:49
Speaker
I got soggy sticks. I've had that problem before. How's my rapper name? He treats soggy sticks. Entering soggy sticks. Stage left.
00:35:08
Speaker
I'm not cold. I don't know how you guys feel. And we don't really have anything to cook anyway. And it's going to be dark no matter what. So I can go without a fire. Hold on. And then I cast light on the twig, like one of the twigs on the ground. Okay. Oh, look, look at this. Did you just make, what is this? Is this a glow stick? What's a glow stick? You cast create foam.
00:35:39
Speaker
Great bubbles. Oh, drop that beat. Yeah. There's a beast out in the wilds that glows at night. They call it a stick bug, but occasionally in areas, it has a glow to it. We used to have fire beetles on the farm all the time. I remember fire beetles.
00:36:04
Speaker
They're fun. We used to, as kids, I remember we used to smash them and then you could smear the stuff inside on your face and like make like war paint. Oh, I guess I shouldn't have said that to you. I'm sorry. Wendell looks at Joxer and Carmen and Craig's like, is he telling the truth right now?
00:36:22
Speaker
I, I never, but I have the, that wasn't really, there weren't any, that just has that face of like, no, what kind of like looking down slash shaking his head, like, nope. Carmen looks around kind of not like unknowingly, like what? I guess if you rub them on yourself, they, the light is left over on your clothing.
Haunted Sleep and Ethereal Creatures
00:36:46
Speaker
Anyway, with a shocked face.
00:36:50
Speaker
I think we should probably get to bed. I think it's, I think it's late. I'm not really, I'm tired. I'm feeling all right. I, I, I guess I can stay up and keep watch. That was doctor's job now. No, that needs a little rest.
00:37:06
Speaker
I'm going to go to bed and not think about bugs on my face. And just kind of goes a little ways away from the group to lay down.
00:37:24
Speaker
Uh, not, not too far, Gwen. Um, I, I appreciate it. Uh, uh, Krigs, um, I'll, uh, I'll, uh, maybe work on, uh, I don't know. I'll try, try some new brews out. You should really get some rest. I'll definitely try. All right. Well, uh, I'll wake you in a couple of hours if you want to keep watch the second half or.
00:37:51
Speaker
I don't think Gwyn's going to feel much like it now. I think she considers us all to be, well, worse monsters than the monsters we've already faced. Luckily, I didn't actually experience that, but we just didn't have those bugs around us.
00:38:10
Speaker
I was a kid, you know, kids do dumb things. Oh no, I totally would have done it. That's not like, I just didn't have it. I do it right now. Give me some excuse me. Is it, is it dumb to kill insects? I'm not sure. She's really sensitive about life. It's just human people. Are we talking about this? That seems to be fine for some reason. I don't know. Okay. Okay. People with families, you understand?
00:38:37
Speaker
in the middle of the night without them even knowing what was happening next to their wives yes sleeping with their spouse what you didn't smear on your face afterwards i think that's where the line was not on purpose ever no yeah no i've killed real people
00:38:53
Speaker
I'm just curious why we're discussing insects, but I mean if you're if it's something that that bothers you then it bothers you that is that is That is you I don't like wet wood like using a wooden spoon in my soup I can't it's it must be some sort of metal utensil. That's just me
00:39:08
Speaker
No, that's just weird. I mean, that's just how it is. I mean, that is strange. I mean, I've seen a few things a little peculiar, but that that's a real weird one. You give me a bowl of soup and a wooden spoon. I will drink it like I'm drinking from a cup every time, I promise. Well, I mean, I mean, if we're just going that direction, I mean, wine and they smash it with their feet. I mean, it's just fair. That is true.
00:39:36
Speaker
I hadn't thought of that. When I put on my socks, I have to put on half of the right one and then half of the left one and then finish the right one. I don't know what it is. Why? I like the smell of my own farts. Okay. Okay.
Violent Attack and Panic
00:39:51
Speaker
It is time. I believe it is time to go to sleep.
00:40:06
Speaker
I'm going to go over here by this bush and rest here in the shadow of this bush, far away from him. Just not too far. He walks over where he's, you know, I mean, he's 10, 15 feet away from you guys. Just getting high on my own supply.
00:40:28
Speaker
I'm not sure what that means. I will also kind of find some space and lay down by himself and he's going to reach into his bag and he's going to pull out that belt buckle, uh, symbol thing that he has. And I'm going to see, is there a way that I can see if I can attune to it, see if it does anything. Uh, yeah. Why don't you just make an arcana check as you sit and just kind of focus on it and all right.
00:40:52
Speaker
That is another fantastic role. Nine. Okay. You sit and you begin to focus on this thing and you look and you see the slight pulsing glow of the three lightning bolts on this, this, this emblem, this triple lightning bolt kind of sigil.
00:41:15
Speaker
Each one a different color and it's pulsing and like a different wavelength. Each one's flashing at different times and you're kind of closing your eyes and thinking about it and then you look and you focus and you see that the pulsing starts to kind of change and it's looking like they're trying to line up to where it's pulsating together. But it just won't quite
00:41:38
Speaker
line up and as you sit and focus and just when you start to just start to feel discouraged, you hear a voice in your head that says, this is not for you. And then any effort that you try to use, any effort that you put forth to try to kind of attune to this thing, it just, it, it reaps you nothing. And eventually it's just feels like you just should give up.
00:42:08
Speaker
Mm. Fine. I didn't like it anyway. I'm going to put it away. OK. And then I'll go to bed. Didn't like what? I didn't like your farts. All right. They don't smell that good. Although not for you. Got him. I mean, they do smell like spaghetti, so.
00:42:30
Speaker
We haven't had spaghetti in like months now. I don't even know why you're keeping that smell around. How you're keeping that smell? Nevermind. I'm going to bed. Somebody needs a cleanse. All right. So go ahead, Jock, sir. I'll run to my brew hole and just do my thing. Get some rest. Yeah, resting. So like talking to my teenage son.
00:42:57
Speaker
Then I get screen time requests at 1am for audio editing software. And I'm like, why are you making music right now? You should be going to sleep. Anyway, sometimes you just feel the beats. I know. I know you do. I had those feelings. I had those times when I was that age two. I just now I'm an old curmudgeon. Okay, so, uh, jocks are you find yourself in your brew hole brewing away?
00:43:25
Speaker
Davin's finally settling in trying to go to sleep. Gwendolyn, you're starting to settle in and also try to sleep. You can't shake these beady golden eyes staring all of you down.
00:43:40
Speaker
It's like the more still you are, the more still they are. And the longer they stick around, once you seem to pose no threat to them, it's like they just hang out and just stand there and stare at you and watch you. And it's icky. It's creepy. And so sleep does not come easy, but you're, you're exhausted.
Fighting Invisible Assailants
00:44:00
Speaker
So everyone make constitution saving throws without too much difficulty class, just to see how well you rest those who are trying to sleep.
00:44:08
Speaker
Not me. Yeah, Kriegs is keeping watch. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. 15 for Devin. Devin, you eventually find yourself in a restless sleep, but asleep nonetheless. A total of nine. Okay. You struggle to fall asleep. And as you, every time you start to drift off,
00:44:34
Speaker
You get this feeling that one of these creatures is just hovering right over top of you. But you open your eyes and look and there's nothing there. And then you close your eyes again and you try to rest and you get the feeling that something's there. Something's here. What is it? Until finally you begin to drift off a little bit and just start to feel this sense of unconsciousness.
00:44:59
Speaker
come upon you as you begin to go to sleep, not like dangerous unconsciousness, just the sleepy kind. And Carmen is able to, you hear snoring over under the bushes as Carmen. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's sleeping now too. Krigs, you're looking around and keeping watch. Why don't you make a perception check for me? Okay. Okey dokey. That's a nine.
00:45:30
Speaker
All right. So you are, uh, you are sitting, looking around and just kind of trying to keep your eyes on everything. But it's, it's like if there's nothing in the woods and you're looking, it's easy to spot movement. It's easy to spot something happening because you're just looking at normal grass and trees and things. But the fact that you're constantly seeing these,
00:45:59
Speaker
figures form and then unform and reform in a different spot. And just this constant ever present beings all around you, it makes it really difficult to look for anything that might be dangerous or different until suddenly, suddenly, um, does a 16 hit you Gwendolyn?
00:46:31
Speaker
Yeah. Suddenly Gwendolyn feels this slam on her gut. And you hear her cry out as this slam hits her. That's what I cried out. I immediately for eight damage. What the heck?
00:46:55
Speaker
And then another one comes right after that for 15 and she just screamed out with her six damage. Yeah. I immediately stand up as fast as I can. And there's a little come out and I run over quit and just like panicked with her literally just screaming out in the middle of the night in the darkness and further away from the rest of us than.
00:47:20
Speaker
Yeah, I would have liked so as you reach Gwen you feel this cold chill swirl around you just as you approach her and You get to her and you Gwen and you cry out to her and Does stop in my tracks and put my arms kind of up like feeling that pressure and that coldness 22 22 will hit you. Yes. Yeah
00:47:45
Speaker
And a 23 backwards. They see as you take.
00:47:54
Speaker
10, no, no, no, no. That was seven plus six. 13 bludgeoning damage as something that you can't see is swirling around you and then just like this impact is hitting your gut almost from the inside out and just thudding and just like concussing inside of you and you
00:48:20
Speaker
Are now in some sort of encounter. Let's roll initiative. Are we all rolling? Just two of them. Just the two of them right now. Shoot. I rolled an 11. I rolled an eight. All right. Negative one initiative. I rolled a 10.
00:48:42
Speaker
All right, so with that, and it's a plus four, nice. I think you meant to say minus four.
00:48:56
Speaker
No, that is not. So with that, another attack comes as Craig suddenly you just feel so cold and the cold just causes the inside of you to just like seize up and you and it is a dirty 20 or five damage.
00:49:18
Speaker
and then a natural one. So you feel that seize up and then suddenly it starts to kind of weave out, like weave around and you suddenly catch out of the corner of your eye, this lighter, like white almost presence kind of fade out of existence, fade into existence for a brief second and then fade back out. And it is to your right, to your north, just between you and Gwendolyn sort of.
00:49:47
Speaker
And then Gwendolyn, the next one rolls a nine to hit you and then an 18 plus six.
00:49:56
Speaker
Twenty four to hit you. And so that second one does five damage, five more damage to you.
Cliffhanger: Chaos and Battle Preparation
00:50:06
Speaker
And it as it the inside of you just quivers to the point of like just gut wrenching pain. And you're being attacked by something that you're finding very difficult to see. And Krigs, it is now your turn. Right. And I don't I don't see this thing anymore.
00:50:26
Speaker
No, I feel like you saw where it ended up, but you don't know where it is at all. You don't you don't see it currently. All right. I'm going to rush over towards Gwen and stand between her and the direction of where I saw this thing. And I'm going to shout with a free action. Take arms. And I'm going to
00:50:50
Speaker
Dump put my hand on on Gwen's shoulder as she's still kind of prone. And I'm going to put 10 points of HP back in via lay on hands. OK, Gwen gets 10 more twin or 10 back twin twin hit points. Sweet. And then I stand there. Go ahead. OK, I guarding. All right, Gwendolyn, what are you going to do?
00:51:15
Speaker
Uh, Gwendolyn is probably just reaching around her stomach. What is this? Dale, you were also on lookout. What was happening? And she's just kind of holding her stomach and her insides and making sure that they don't spill out. Yeah. They're aching like you've got a really bad stomach ache, but it's like something, it's not a stomach ache you've had. It's like sudden and sudden impact hits you and cause that pain for some reason. Um, she's going to,
00:51:45
Speaker
take one hand and grip it on the ground and cast Faerie Fire in where she's at. Okay, okay. And that's probably all I'm going to do right now. All right, I'm looking up Faerie Fire real quick here to see. Oh, it has concentration. Would I have to roll? Only if you get hit after you cast it. Okay.
00:52:12
Speaker
Okay. I have to make dexterity saving throws. So we're going to do that. That first one is a 20. Second one's a 24 with a nat 20. Oh, yeah. So, so they both save and don't get marked by the fairy fire. Correct. Now I would like for Joxer, Davin and Carmen to roll initiative.
00:52:39
Speaker
Carmen rolled a not one for initiative. And he's the road. He gets a 10, though. No, wait. He's a heavy sleeper. Initiative. No, I mean, he needs a plus five, so he gets a six total. What is his next? Just kidding. I know. Dirty. It's a 20. But I've got 16. Right. What'd you get, Joxer? 18. OK.
00:53:08
Speaker
And then Carmen's last. All right. So at this point, Joxer, Davin, Carmen all wake up and they look and they see Gwendolyn holding her stomach.
00:53:24
Speaker
feeling around, just having cast a spell that doesn't seem to have taken any sort of effect. This purplish pink hue fading away as it didn't catch anybody. Quigsgalder is looking around, just holding his hammer, trying to figure out what to do, where to hit. And we're going to end this episode here, coming back with Joxer taking the first turn of this second round. Sweet. Wow.
00:53:55
Speaker
Thank you.
00:54:08
Speaker
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