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Jimbo Paris Show #66- Expanding Human Potential (Judy Ryan)
9 Plays3 years ago
“We all have unique callings in the world”
-Judy Ryan
Welcome to The Jimbo Paris Show #66- Expanding Human Potential (Judy Ryan)
JUDY RYAN is the CEO of LifeWork Systems and a recognized thought leader on applied behavioral science that impacts deep culture change for exceptional outcomes. She is an Author, Columnist, Trainer, Consultant, System Developer, Keynote Speaker and is frequently interviewed on TV, radio and podcasts.
Since 2002, Judy has been leading innovative methods to favorably impact the most important aspect of any organization: its people. She has created a digital, scalable culture transformation system and implementation framework.
Judy’s purpose is to create a world in which all people love their lives.
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Transcript
Introduction of Jimbo Parris and Judy Wright
00:00:06
Speaker
I am Jimbo Parris, and you're listening to the Jimbo Parris Show. All right. How's it going, everyone? This is Jimbo here, and today we've got Judy Wright. Let's see what she has to say. Nice to meet you and to be doing this with you. Yeah, it's been a
Judy's Vision for a Lovable Life
00:00:28
Speaker
privilege. Can you please give me kind of a brief summary of who you are, what you're about, and what your message is?
00:00:34
Speaker
Yes, thank you. Well, first of all, I'm a CEO of my own company. We're in our 20th year. It's called LifeWorks Systems. And what I'm really about is creating a world where all people love their lives. And I know that sounds very idealistic. I see you rolling your eyes a little.
Influence of Alfred Adler's Psychology
00:00:50
Speaker
But there really are a lot of things that people can do to create certain kinds of conditions and conversations where people become psychologically safe, they become emotionally intelligent, they're able to really get along with each other and they're able to feel like they have ownership of their personal power and that they know how to guide it in a way that isn't frightening to them or anyone else. I find that a really interesting thing and
00:01:18
Speaker
What kind of gave you this high level perspective? Because it seems like you have a lot of technical, well, again, forgive me, but maybe psychology is knowledge. I'm not too well versed in this field, but you also seem like just a very wise person as well. How did you cultivate that in yourself?
00:01:40
Speaker
Well, first of all, thank you for that. I happened to pawn a psychology model back in the mid 80s. And it was the psychology of Alfred Adler. And he was the person that coined the phrase inferiority complex. And what he basically was saying is that all struggles in the world come from a state of unworthiness and feelings of inferiority. And what we don't realize is that most of the ways that we raise children in homes and in schools
00:02:08
Speaker
actually creates more feelings of inferiority complex than most people realize. We have all these adult things we do to children and to one another as adults that we don't realize actually are coming from our own fearful beliefs. So once I understood that, that whenever we're behaving in a way that causes inferiority complex,
00:02:30
Speaker
we're actually creating the conditions in which people are going to struggle and some of that struggle is inside of them like stress or anxiety or depression but some of that struggle is between people like all the isms all the i'm right you're wrong i want to win and i don't care if you lose all of that is coming from inferiority complex and once i understood that
Applying Adler's Theories in Life
00:02:54
Speaker
I began to, this was a long time ago, decades ago, I began to use this methodology with my family. So by the time my kids were five, they all knew how to run a family meeting because we wanted them, we consciously wanted to cultivate in them, how do you feel empowered, how to feel lovable, which is very different than being loved. Lovable is when someone listens to you and they don't try to fix you or convert you or change you.
00:03:20
Speaker
or make you wrong, but you feel received and witnessed by them. We all want to feel connected, and we all want to feel that we have contributions to make. And so when we consciously decided to do that, we learned all these tools and concepts in which to use with our own family that would minimize wherever people are feeling inferiority.
00:03:43
Speaker
And so once I started to do that, not only did that provide a way for me to be a parent that I was proud of, I had five kids, it healed some things in my own childhood. And I would have to say my childhood was kind of normal, but even normal is pretty traumatic. And then you add on top of it other kind of abuse, it's really difficult.
00:04:04
Speaker
I felt like, oh my gosh, this would relieve so much suffering in the world. So at one point I had the vision in my mind of, I want to take this out into the
Aligning Work with Passion and Purpose
00:04:13
Speaker
world. And where I first began with it was to go into schools in the early days and work with parents, teachers, administrators, students, and the neighborhood all simultaneously.
00:04:25
Speaker
Because I was this parent doing this and I didn't have other parents around me that knew what I was doing. I didn't have my kids school teachers know what I was doing. And I know that this isn't just about schools because most of our work now is in corporate settings or nonprofit or government.
00:04:41
Speaker
But it's really about how do you create a whole community of people that understand a new way of operating so that everyone's on the same page, everyone knows how to put things down like punishment, put things down like rewarding and bribing and even saying, I'm disappointed in you. All of those types of things that we don't realize are really harming people.
00:05:05
Speaker
So I don't know that I'm so wise as much as maybe I was wise enough to recognize what was healing for me and to build my conviction about it. And then I wanted to bring it out to so many people that I created it all on a digital platform so that it could scale out to lots and lots of people. Speaking of what you do for other people, you seem like a person that also tends to do a lot of different sacrifices as well.
00:05:33
Speaker
I think there was a certain man that you turned down in order to focus more on your goals in life. I don't know if I would hold it as sacrifice. I think when we're aligned with our design as a human being, when we're aligned with what we feel the most excited about, it doesn't feel like we're living a life of sacrifice. Now, it's not to say my life is always easy because what I bring to the world is disruptive.
00:05:57
Speaker
honestly, when we do live according to our purpose and our values, and we're aligned with our visions, we really don't work a day in our lives. So that's why for 30 years, really, I have still have passion about what I'm doing.
00:06:13
Speaker
I even had one of my kids when they were still living at home, she said, I wish I had your work ethic. And I said, you do, you stay up all night and you watch video games. She's like, mom, that's just fun. And I said, it's fun when you're living the life that you want to live. Is this the life that you actually want to live though? Are you doing this for a much deeper reason? Is this more of a calling, not really an enjoyment? I think it's a calling and an enjoyment.
00:06:38
Speaker
Because what I see is I see that the world is in a lot of pain And i've also seen whole communities that i've been able to impact and it takes time And over time they're they're happy in their work. They're happy with each other They have some things that we've all kind of heard about like anybody that's in business. They're studying, you know They're hearing about psychological safety and trauma informed ways of operating, you know But most people don't know how to actually implement something so that it is safe and it is
00:07:08
Speaker
emotionally intelligent. And what would you define as systemic change?
Understanding Motivation: Intrinsic vs Extrinsic
00:07:15
Speaker
Well our system is based on holding people in a perspective of you are great and if you're not looking and acting great it's because you want to be great and you haven't been given the right conditions and conversations in order to become into that greatness that you are.
00:07:33
Speaker
That's interesting. So this is kind of how my brain is picking up what you're saying. Instead of actually praising people, we need to teach people how to praise themselves.
00:07:45
Speaker
I would say maybe, I mean, really what I just described for you are the four extrinsic motivators. So if I'm praising you, I'm trying to puppet string you, right? So what are the internal motivations? It might be internal praise, but what it's really, and that could fall into one of those categories because what's more important is instead of using those extrinsic motivators, what if we help people to see,
00:08:09
Speaker
and make sure that they're choosing what's meaningful to them and that what they're doing that they can connect to what's meaningful about it. Most of us become competent in reading and writing. Some people do, some people don't, but not all of us are even taught how to be good communicators. Encouragement is very different from praise.
00:08:28
Speaker
I can encourage you, even if you fail at something, I can say, I really saw you put good effort into this, and I can see you put your heart and soul into this. But I can't say I'm proud of you if you failed, but I can say I noticed that you really gave it your all, or that this really matters too, and that you had a lot of courage, or thank you for doing this.
00:08:50
Speaker
I think a lot of times in the internet, we talk about things like extrinsic motivation, motivation from rewards, external things. I don't think everyone here knows, and I personally don't know the exact definition, but what's the difference between something intrinsic motivating versus extrinsic?
00:09:06
Speaker
So here's the difference. When somebody is extrinsically motivating us, it's as though they're holding the puppet strings. Intrinsic motivation is helping a person to discover within themselves. That was him saying in his own heart and in outwardly, I intend that. That's meaningful to me. So choice, that's an intrinsic motivator. We don't often give that to people.
00:09:31
Speaker
That's why in our projects we have people lead groups themselves, just like when my kids were by the time they were five, they could run a family meeting because we wanted them to know how to both lead and follow. I think I think now that you say it, most people run off extrinsic motivation. They do.
00:09:50
Speaker
And from what I'm getting from that story you told me, extrinsic motivation is not as sustainable as something intrinsic, right? Right. We even say it this way. When a person is in reaction to someone else, they're either doing one of two things. They're either resentfully complying,
00:10:11
Speaker
because they feel as if they have no personal power or personal control. Another one is to go into what's kind of a pseudo power. And when we do that, we go into rebelling and resisting. And then we also don't take responsibility for our tasks, our relationships, and our outcomes. We just function as almost like a mean-spirited, no, I won't, you can't make me. It's almost a revenge kind of dynamic.
00:10:40
Speaker
All right, great. So this is her website. We expand human potential to maximize life and work performance. And this human potential is the intrinsic kind of values you try and
00:10:57
Speaker
It's even beyond intrinsic motivation is all about our motivation. But who we are, we all have our own unique callings in the world. And people don't often get the encouragement to figure out those callings or to appreciate and recognize who they are. And so human potential is so much bigger than any one component part.
00:11:22
Speaker
It's our motivation. It's our engagement with life. It's our relationships. It's our relationships with
Expanding Human Potential Beyond Motivation
00:11:27
Speaker
ourselves. It's how well we take care of our bodies. You know, it's just almost anything you could imagine how innovative we are. So expanding human potential means that we have the conditions and conversations
00:11:40
Speaker
that allow us to expand into the fullness of who we are, and most people have never been given those conditions in conversations. We used to have, our company name used to be called Expanding Human Potential, and now we call it Life Work Systems because we want people to know that you need a system that you can rely on. And the kind of system that we've been relying on in homes and schools and workplaces is not necessarily a healthy system. So we come in and explain what is a healthy system, and then we help them to start living it.
00:12:09
Speaker
And then they own it. So they have a system that they can now lean on and they can say, Judy, you know, we need some more online training modules. We just hired five new people. But they have their own internal subject matter experts on the culture because they've already paid their dues and they understand it. And they don't have to rely on our company to keep it going. They just had needed us to get it started.
00:12:32
Speaker
After, okay, so after someone clicks this button, what is the next step on this website? What's the next place people should go? Because I kind of want to create a roadmap to how people should navigate your website. So click that first, and then do I go to, what else do I go to? Well, here's the thing we're working on right now, Jamo. We have, like, if you go to, go under About Us and go to Articles.
00:12:56
Speaker
All right. Yeah. We have about 250 articles in there. And most of them are written by myself because I wrote two columns. But then we have some industry articles. That's the one I was telling you about. A fool with a tool is still a fool. So what we're doing right now is we're rebuilding our website so that when a person goes to a subject on redirecting negative behavior, for example,
00:13:19
Speaker
Right now,
Future Plans for Judy's Online Presence
00:13:20
Speaker
what we don't have is we don't have the TV interview on redirecting. We have all of it. We don't have it connected together. So our new website is going to have, if you like this article on redirect, you might like these four. You might like this television interview. You might like this podcast. You might like this testimonial about redirect. You might like this course. And what that does for us is it creates Google being able to show people that we are thought leaders in certain aspects.
00:13:47
Speaker
And so we're we're in the process of building all of our content out into a central place so that we can make all of those connections so that if somebody goes on our website and they read one article and they say I really like that article and off to the side it says if you like this one you might like this one or you might like this video and they stay on our website for an hour because there's so much that they are getting from what they're doing.
00:14:10
Speaker
That's really what our next step is on this site because we have about 500 videos on YouTube. We've got all these articles. We have podcasts. We have interviews. Excellent. So it's been a great interview. Can you kind of, uh, do you have any other final words you'd like to say to the audience?
Appreciation for Jimbo's Hosting Style
00:14:29
Speaker
Gosh, you know, I would just like to say to you, Jimbo, and maybe it's for the audience too. I appreciate your calm
00:14:35
Speaker
open demeanor. It's very calming. It's very peaceful. And I appreciate it because I'm kind of a hot wired person. I always say I'm a Northeast Coast kind of personality stuck in a Midwest city. So I like to talk fast and move fast. And it's just been really nice to be with you not rushing me and not stopping me. And I just I love that about you. So hopefully the audience will realize it's nice to have somebody around you to be peaceful.
00:15:07
Speaker
Thanks again. And also remember to buy Alison Cosgrove's book. She's a great author, great influencer, and she has a lot of break points to bring into your life too. Thanks again, Judy Ryan. Thank you for having me Jimbo. I really appreciate it. All right. I'm Jimbo Paris. This is the Jimbo Paris show.
00:15:57
Speaker
Thank you for listening.