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Empowerment through Authenticity: Alex Dumas on Living with Passion and Purpose #159
6 Plays9 months ago
Navigating the intricacies of identity and the pursuit of personal growth, we sit down with Alex Dumas, the insightful CEO of Abundance Daily Coaching. Alex's vibrant tapestry of first-generation Haitian-American roots, cultural battles, and challenges with insecurities sets the stage for a profound discussion about the transformative power of our individual stories. As we peel back the layers of Alex's journey, we uncover how he channels his background in psychology and the indomitable spirit of his mother's influence to empower leaders in carving out their unique paths and cultivating thriving communities.
The balancing act between a demanding career and personal life is an art form in itself, one that Alex and I dissect with the precision of seasoned practitioners. The conversation shifts gears into the nitty-gritty of managing high-pressure roles, where burnout looms large and personal sacrifices are the norm. We share candid tales from the trenches and strategies to erect support structures, embrace intentional scheduling, and the courage it takes to admit when the scales have tipped too far. It's a candid look into the role of coaching and community in restoring equilibrium to the lives of those who are accustomed to perpetual striving.
In an age where social media clamor can drown out the essence of true connection, Alex and I venture into the realm of crafting an authentic brand identity and the courage it takes to stand in one's truth. We trade narratives that highlight the joy of passion-fueled pursuits and the importance of maintaining an abundance mindset. As we delve into personal branding and business through the lens of self-awareness, listeners will leave with a treasure trove of insights on embracing authenticity, igniting passion, and the pure delight in discovering one's true voice. Join us as we embark on a soul-stirring odyssey into the heart of self-expression and the thrill of living authentically.
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Transcript
Introduction to Alex Dumas
00:00:00
Speaker
All right, how's it going everyone? Today we have Alex Dumas. He is the CEO of Abundance Daily Coaching. And basically he is focused on coaching people. He looks into interesting things like psychology. So again, lots of interesting. So yeah, let's bring on Mr. Dumas. Let's start having a discussion. How are you today? Hey, great morning, Jimbo. Nice to meet you.
00:00:28
Speaker
I'm doing well, by the way, to answer your question. Excellent. All right. So tell me a little bit about who you are, what you're about, and sort of what's your message? Yeah.
00:00:42
Speaker
So I am a husband, a father. Those are the most important things about me. I've been in the coaching space now since 2018 and born and raised in New York. I live now in North Carolina for the past few years, and it's been an interesting journey of.
Cultural Background and Influence
00:01:00
Speaker
Growing up as the young support children, my parents as immigrants from Haiti, learning. I never went to Haiti, but I'm saying like growing up as an American Haitian, like a kind of first generation with some of the old cultural West Indian traditions of like, you know, children don't talk, don't speak up, don't express yourself, like what is.
00:01:21
Speaker
The rules are the rules, right? Follow them, be that. And also the American way of like, be free and you can do whatever you want. And so kind of have these polar opposites of ideology, so to speak. But I grew up, you know, traditional middle-class kid, right? Playing sports, riding bikes.
00:01:40
Speaker
hang with friends chasing girls all that kind of stuff but i grew very insecure too of not expressing myself of not really being sure if i fit in am i really supposed to be or do i belong anywhere and that
Coaching Philosophy and Mother's Impact
00:01:54
Speaker
really causing a thought within me like all right maybe I'm disconnected from people maybe I really don't belong I'm not accepted fully and I would find self-destructive things through drugs through different addictions to to complete me or fill me if that makes sense and
00:02:11
Speaker
I share all of that because that foundation of not being disconnected, of being isolated or not feeling seen or not heard, not validated, actually influences a lot of the work I do now as a coach when I work with people, when I work with leaders, and being able to help them express themselves and tell their story and show up really powerfully in the world. So that's a bit about me. Interesting. If I heard correctly, I may not have heard correctly, but just from the West End,
00:02:38
Speaker
Yeah, my family, my mother, father, they both immigrated from Haiti in the late, early 1970s and they didn't know each other. They found each other in New York, fell in love, built a beautiful life together. My mother passed a few years ago and my dad's still here, but from, they've been together, they were together since the 70s and until she passed about eight years ago.
00:03:09
Speaker
special influence that you're not having a bad influence is you becoming, you know, the successful man that you are.
00:03:18
Speaker
Yeah, my mother's influences is definitely paramount in my life. I didn't necessarily love this back then, but I see now how those sprinkles have happened. She was somebody that would welcome a lot of people into her life where we grew up in the Catholic Church, so she was always inviting people over for like
00:03:40
Speaker
Bible readings and prayers and things like that. She was always the type to just bring up, strike up conversation with people. I used to get embarrassed by it because like I said, I grew up really, I felt really insecure. So I wanted to hide. I didn't want to engage with people that much. I didn't want to have any light shine shown on me. So this is really interesting that here I'm doing shows like this and podcasts and my own personal time and
00:04:06
Speaker
She was just always that person to kind of magnetize people and draw people to her. And I think that's a key influence that she's kind of passed on to me, where I tried to run away from that or reject that, but started to recognize, like, oh, that's one of my gifts, too. Like, I can just bring people together. I'm a strong community builder. I call myself a master connector, an emcee of sorts. And that's one of the gifts she's given me.
Psychology and Client Analysis
00:04:35
Speaker
Speaking of community building, you have a bachelor's of arts in psychology. How do you kind of use that to help you with things such as sales and market?
00:04:47
Speaker
Yeah, psychology helped me with the foundation for myself. I'm really willing to that study to figure out what was wrong with me, 18, 19, trying to find my way in the world and just kind of get some meat behind, like, what's going on with me? Like, why am I feeling the way I feel? And the way that I've been able to incorporate that in my practice has been really starting to use the analytics of it, because I think people don't
00:05:16
Speaker
outside of the psychology program, really understand like, oh, there's things like means and averages, like, you know, in, in probabilities and things like that. And I don't project it on the clients, but my focus is really to help them gather data of their own success, their own brilliance, because it's easy to, especially I work with like high performing people, right? Entrepreneurs, small business owners, where it's,
00:05:40
Speaker
They're kind of in a go, go, go zone, right? Just next thing, next thing, next thing. So wait, wait, let's slow it down. Let's look at what's available for you. Let's look at these opportunities and let's really gather up the data of how
00:05:57
Speaker
what you've done and where you've been and what you've gone through, what you've experienced, how that's gonna, how that can help propel you, right? And also there's a dark side to that too, right? If I've been successful, if I've been somebody who's been high performing, there's a dark side to that too. And there's no way around that, but just getting awareness to that, recognizing and being authentic with yourself of like, man, this has kind of helped me back in the past. Me being so driven, me being so ambitious has actually pushed away some relationships. I've actually,
00:06:24
Speaker
rub people the wrong way. I've gotten in my own head about things, maybe too much analysis, paralysis, all that kind of stuff, instead of inspired actions, I call it. So the psych background definitely helps me just to look at the deeper roots of what's going on here. And I'm not here to
00:06:46
Speaker
like we'll analyze folks and things like that, but once it kind of connected dots of like, Oh yeah, you know what? I've always shown up this way, right? Like I'll ask you Jimbo, like, has it been like times in your life where
00:06:59
Speaker
You felt like, man, I should be doing something, but maybe you've held yourself back, or you felt like insecure about something. You doubt yourself. And within that, you start to look at, well, how's my brain protecting me? That's all that really is, our brains, our minds, protecting us from this outside stimulus, this unknown thing. And then all of a sudden, we start to
00:07:22
Speaker
take small steps, small tiny actions, right? If it was, you know, whatever was going on in your life, if we were working together, I'd be like, hey, you know, let's take a look at what's brought you here, what's got you to this point, right? And we can kind of really backtrack that way and start to create a new path that hopefully it'll make sense for you. No, it makes perfect sense. Again, this is an excellent thing you're doing because almost everyone has a mission. Whether they want to admit it or not, that's a bit of a question.
Hustle Culture and Vulnerability
00:07:50
Speaker
but um you really raise an interesting point about you know self-improvement sort of and i know the culture we live in is entrepreneurship i think it's called hustle culture yeah it's a lot about kind of jeopardizing relationships jeopardizing the health all for success no life balance whatsoever you know so you really do raise a big point of
00:08:15
Speaker
How do you think that's an actual issue that I brought up? It's a real thing, right? I've definitely experienced that in the past, you know, 2014, 2015. I was working in New York. I was building up a financial service practice and
00:08:32
Speaker
So living in Long Island, traveling to Wall Street or different boroughs to do meetings, recruit people, things like that. And it was just go, go, go. I would be on the train, grab a slice of pizza, not really taking care of myself, not really sleeping well. I'm energized. I'm fired up. I'm exhausted at the same time, spending a lot of time away from my wife, my two kids, because I'm trying to make it happen, trying to get after, right? 5 AM, wake ups, all that kind of stuff.
00:09:00
Speaker
It was to my detriment. I mean, I'm glad I experienced that because when I see it with somebody else, it's like, okay, this is where they're at right now. And it's really a scarcity zone, right? It's like, I'm going to miss out on something. If I don't respond to this email, I'm going to miss out. If I don't call, I don't pick up a phone. First dial again, I'm available.
00:09:22
Speaker
Availability is important, don't get me wrong, but I did not value rest, I didn't value contemplation, right? It was just, there's so much noise in my head, I'm just trying to get after, I'm trying to make this happen, and that's what was happening, or at least not at the speed that I wanted to. Have you ever had any kind of experience like that? Have you, like, been in its own, like, gotta get it? And you're just pushing, you're going uphill against an avalanche, is what I call it.
00:09:49
Speaker
Yeah, you know, I think, you know, I deal with that a lot, especially like, even in academia, because there's times where I was procrastinating severely. I think that consistency worked. I just got to cram this all last minute, and it feels like I'm almost going in reverse. Now, you know, it's definitely tough. You know, it does end up working out in the long run, but it usually doesn't leave a very good feeling.
00:10:19
Speaker
You know, and especially when you think about things like performance and performance at a high level, I'm not. Yeah, it is thinking, oh, my goodness. It is tough, but I don't know if I fully answered that, but what are you kind of bound to personally?
00:10:35
Speaker
No, that's a good answer for that because you said a big thing about performing at a high level. And when you think about people, it could be in the athletic world, entertainment, whatever, right? Or just like our public figures. It always looks like they're going a million miles a minute and some of them do.
00:10:54
Speaker
But at the same time, they also put a lot of systems in place. They put a lot of people in place to help them. There's somebody organizing for them. There's somebody taking care of these other details so that they remain in their zone of genius. And it's one of those classic things of not hiding, but asking for help.
00:11:13
Speaker
When we can get to that point when entrepreneurs leaders can get to that point opens up but it's also vulnerable thing because people it's it can be embarrassing like man i'm a complete mess on the other side right i'm i'm buttoned up a look good i look great but
00:11:28
Speaker
the things that people don't want you, but you don't want people to know about you are really the things that can help set you free and help you get to that next level of improvement and growth. So it's being honest with yourself like, man, we're in my struggling here. We're in my, where I need help and who can, who's around me that I can trust with this and
00:11:48
Speaker
that I know can actually, who are smarter than me, who are more skilled than me, that's also another ego thing, right? Hire people who are smarter than you or surround yourself with people who are a couple of steps ahead so that you can kind of catch up and also you let them be in their zone, their thoroughbreds, their racehorses, let them do what they do and you can do what you do best too. I completely agree. I also think, you know, a truly strong person can
00:12:17
Speaker
you know, be vulnerable and talk about their flaws. I do think that plays a level of strength. It's easy to kind of just bottle up and try to look good all the time. You kind of need to expose yourself to sort of knowing who. And kind of going back to kind of you, what types of systems do you put in place to finally improve yourself and kind of get over your
Productivity and Authenticity
00:12:47
Speaker
Yeah, one of the things that's really been helpful for me is having coaches. Yeah, that's been probably like my cheat code, my Swiss army knife of sorts is having coaches and being in communities with people that will encourage me, that will challenge the way I think.
00:13:06
Speaker
And my wife is super strong with that. That's her in the background, right? We've been together for, we've been married for 14 years in January together for 18 years. Well, thank you. And she's definitely one of the people who's a champion and cheerleader for me. And also, think of a football coach, right? Sometimes they grab you by the face mask, kind of wake you up, like, what's going on? Where are we at? And that's been incredibly helpful. And I put different things in place, just making sure that I'm intentional,
00:13:35
Speaker
here to the specific things on my calendar where I know if I'm watching something, if I'm going to do a masterclass or things like that. This is more of the logistical technical things. Calendars have helped me. They serve me tremendously just to know where I'm at and get from blocking off different things, having my alarm set for separate things. The key thing that's really been helpful, especially since the pandemic, the height of pandemic in 2020,
00:14:05
Speaker
is making sure that I don't give myself computer fatigue. So if I used to go from meeting the meeting and bounce around for a while and I recognize, oh, I'm right back in my New York energy of running through the train and hustling and bustling. Okay. All right. Give myself a buffer.
00:14:25
Speaker
30 minutes before a call and after a call. It's just dead zone time. So if I need to eat something before I want to just read something or want to reflect or listen to music, get myself into state, get myself into my to my peak state. I'll do those things because it's tough to be like.
00:14:42
Speaker
for black to pretend to 11, 10, 11 to 12. And until there's, you're just carrying the next meeting to the next meeting and nothing's really getting solved. I can't bring my highest level of thinking, my highest level of creativity to a conversation. And now I'm robbing that person at that time. I've actually wasted their time because I'm not showing up at my, at my best and vice versa, right? If they're doing the same thing, they're not giving me their full authentic
00:15:07
Speaker
attention, they may be thinking about the conversation they just had, and then what they're going to be doing later tonight, and where they're going for Eden, right? And it's like, no, no, we're right here. This is now. Let's be here now. And that's been one of my best systems. Like, coaching has helped me do that, and also just little technical things have helped me do that too. So, out of going back to your skillset here, what are some of your most
00:15:34
Speaker
effective strategies for both generating reasons.
00:15:38
Speaker
One of the key things for me is simply being with people. And I know that's going to sound kind of corny or like, what does that even mean? But just being present with somebody, having a conversation, being in different groups, being in different communities, being a person of service. I've definitely increased my social media exposure output in the last couple of years. And I recognize the important thing for me is it's not really about me.
00:16:08
Speaker
in the sense of how great I look, how impressive I'm trying to be, but really coming from a space of how can I be expressive? How can I transfer my enthusiasm to somebody else? And people will recognize that, and I'll get messages all the time like, man, thank you for sharing this. I really needed to hear this. Man, this is right on time. And it's not from a place I'm trying to get anything. I'm just looking for, how can I serve this person? How can I make a difference in having
00:16:35
Speaker
and inviting people to conversations, inviting people to different things that I'm doing and letting them be the ones to be like, you know what, I'll want some more of this and then we can have further discussions about that.
00:16:48
Speaker
I think the key for myself and for maybe someone in your audience is going to be like, how can I connect with this person? How can I really separate myself from the pack of the noise of social media? It's loud. It's crazy. It's kind of like wild ball rest. And you're just going to be like a whisper in that person's ear and just like really connect with somebody, really get into their world. And you'll be somebody they don't forget, right?
00:17:16
Speaker
really think of it as the long-term gain of if you really approach it from this energy of like, I gotta get this person that repels. It's like, it's gross. It's the creepy guy in the club, right? You're just lurking. It's gross. It's just, hey, I'm here to serve you. And if you really pay attention to what people are saying and the words behind the words, that's been a gift of mine. And people respond to it. They resonate with it. You mentioned paying attention.
00:17:46
Speaker
How do you kind of use that kind of identify. The right. Maybe some type of product some type of.
Client Psychometrics and Branding
00:17:57
Speaker
Yeah, a thing that I like to focus on is what they call it the psychometrics. Some people might focus on demographics where.
00:18:07
Speaker
You might ask that same question, somebody else might be like, you know, my target audiences are men who are 25 to 35 and they earn a certain income level and, you know, that's all fine. I'm more connected to who somebody is, right? Their way of being. I look at it like this.
00:18:28
Speaker
I wouldn't invite that person over to my house. I probably wouldn't want them as a client. So is this person fun? Is this person, does this person have integrity, right? Will they do the things they say they're going to do? Are they ambitious? Are they relentless?
00:18:41
Speaker
obstacles in life will knock them down. It may take them off their feet for a second, but they'll get back up. My best work has been served with people who just have that level of tenacity and drive and that is what fuels me. That's what excites me because they're ramped up at a level like now I'm coming up with them, right? Or they're meeting me, they're matching each other and that makes for fun coaching partnerships.
00:19:08
Speaker
I'm trying to like pull a person and motivate them and kind of carry them. I can't carry that far, but I can run with you. We can go side by side or you beat a rabbit. Let me catch up to you. That's even more fun and exciting for me. So a lot of my best work is done with entrepreneurs, small business owners, executives. My philosophy sometimes can be a shock to the system of like slowing down. You think of a high performing person, they think slowing down means
00:19:37
Speaker
The world's gonna fall apart. I'm just gonna be lazy and eat Cheetos and stuff like that. I look at it like, no, let's slow down enough that before you send this email, where are you coming from with it? Is it like, I'm trying to get some tea from you? Am I trying to talk at you or am I talking with you? Am I collaborating with you? Am I doing things in my own life that are,
00:20:02
Speaker
her feet in my soul, right? I have worked with one client and she was super high performing, like really after it. And then she expressed to me that she'd been like that her whole life, her whole life, just being the person to get things done. And that's a beautiful thing. And through one of our work together, one of the sessions, she was like, you know, I don't really have any hobbies.
00:20:25
Speaker
OK, well, what's something you really love to do? Like, what's something that's been a passion of yours? What's something that's been exciting for you? She's like, well, taking pictures, you know, photography. All right. And from there, she decided to create her own little Instagram page. And that made that sound like a lot, like, oh, my God, wow, Instagram page. But she found something outside of the work. She sounds something that she can use her lens of life to snap photos of and slow down to see things, to see beauty in life.
00:20:54
Speaker
Does it make her a better wife? Does it make her a better entrepreneur? I would venture to say so. And how do you kind of help to create a better... Sorry, say the question again. How do you sort of create a better brand identity? One of the most fun things I like to do with people is just simply tell me your story.
00:21:17
Speaker
right? Tell me about your background. Tell me about where you've been, your dreams, even the secret dreams, the dreams that you may have been embarrassed to talk about. You know, one time I was working with somebody who wanted to get into the coaching space and she had a pretty extensive military background. And she's having all these doubts and fears like, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I'm qualified, all these different things. And this is after she let me down her
00:21:47
Speaker
her resume of sorts. And so I slowed her down. I invited her to a game right there live on the call. I was like, hey, can I tell you about this person that I know? And so I started reading back all of the things that she told me about being this go-to person and all these different things. And she was stunned. She's like, I've never heard myself like that before. I've never experienced myself
00:22:11
Speaker
beated like that before I didn't recognize that. And so your question about the brand identity, it's tapping in with those gifts. We all have them. You have this gift of a podcast, and I'm sure there's several other things that you do.
00:22:29
Speaker
So how do I use it? How do I leverage that into the world? Because I think that's the thing that gets in the people's way. Like, yeah, this is good, but who would pay me for this? Like, somebody will pay for anybody will pay for anything, right? If the Internet has taught you anything, I've seen things for people who are professional cuddlers. You have all these other sites, like only fan things like people will pay for.
00:22:52
Speaker
For things so there's a way to monetize or gifted some some capacity, but it's really about you being honest and authentic about.
00:23:03
Speaker
the things that you bring to the table. It might be something so simple or you don't even acknowledge it at first. It's like, well, anybody can do that. No, no, no, not anybody. You have this opportunity. You have this ability, right? For me, I'm a very creative person. You might be like, well, that's very vague. But when I'm working with people, I can see things. I can get to a level within them that they didn't even think about.
00:23:30
Speaker
because I'm seeing the world from a different place. I'm seeing things from what I call the field of possibility and playing in that place is really fun. So where it comes to people sharing that and monetizing that, being the brand is really the important thing. Like what's your identity? Are you really locked in with and secure within yourself to be yourself? Because that's what people are going to pay for at the end of the day.
00:23:56
Speaker
Speaking of what people are paying for, it just kind of helps the audience get more asked with what they're doing.
Communication and Self-Esteem
00:24:02
Speaker
Can you tell me a bit more about your business? Yeah, my company is Abundance Daily Culturally. And the premise of that is really looking at that there's abundance for all of us.
00:24:18
Speaker
It's a key component for me that I've shared on my daily podcast called Love, Serve, Care, that you're born with your life in abundance and the work I do has been with other business owners, leaders, executives, and the big focus is on communication and two sides of communication. One,
00:24:36
Speaker
the internal dialogue, what we're saying to ourselves, how we are being with ourselves, super important. And it kind of goes back to your question about like brand identity, things like that. And then the external communication, right? So I'll just throw this on you right now in your case. So here you are, you're Jimbo.
00:24:57
Speaker
And if you're having a thought of, man, am I good enough? Am I smart enough? I don't know if people are going to listen to podcasts. I don't know if people are going to watch their videos. I don't know if I'm going to be able to create clients. If you're having that kind of internal dialogue with yourself, now when you're going out into the world, when you're having conversation with people, you might be saying little words like the good words, but inside that inner feeling like, you're not good enough. And it's okay to have a little bit of that.
00:25:23
Speaker
But when we're helping people change our lives, when I'm helping somebody change their life, I got to be sold out. I got to be enrolled into what I'm doing, who I'm being, and this being an actual useful service for somebody, not just because I need something. I don't need anything from anybody. I want to come from that place of I can really help this person.
00:25:46
Speaker
And if they feel that and I'm locked in, then it becomes an easier conversation versus it'd be like you trying to sell me like hair cream. Like I don't have hair. You know, anybody who's listened to this audibly. I'm a bald man. Jimbo's got these beautiful locks. Like it would be a disconnect. Right. So I'm using that as a funny example, but it's really just
00:26:08
Speaker
Why my work is helping people get what they want to be the best version of the souls doing that and have a good time to that's the key component to i have this. Philosophy that it isn't fun does get done and you mentioned about like procrastinating i don't necessarily believe in procrastinating because.
00:26:28
Speaker
It's not that you're not capable, it's just that you found something else you'd rather be doing than this task at the moment. So I find ways to create games within some mundane things within the task that we don't want to do, but we can find little opportunities to create a game or create something that's exciting within it. It's a little bit easier. You can bring a little bit higher value to that task or project than just, all right, I got to crunch this number. I got to go through the motion. Life's too short to go through motions.
00:26:59
Speaker
And again, you know, once again, you're very correct because I think, you know, at least for my bachelor's degree, you know, I was trying to get into this scholarship program. I felt like an absolute idiot. It took me about six years to graduate with my undergraduate degree. I was a very slow student and I dealt with a lot of imposter syndrome because everyone else just replaced one of them.
00:27:27
Speaker
perhaps you know it was only until like the third year that i finally started to kind of change my mindset and get a lot more positive but again you know i just again i had problems reading i had a lot of dyslexia and so it took me a long time to kind of make it into my own position and kind of
Personal Challenges and Strengths
00:27:50
Speaker
With you, you know, were you always so certain or confident maybe in your intelligence or your abilities or did you kind of have to grow into that in order to kind of become this, you know, this master approach? Definitely not. Definitely took me a while to get out in high school. Well, even like through middle school, I was like a summer school kid, right? I just I struggle with math. I struggle with science and
00:28:19
Speaker
It's just different concepts. I just couldn't understand. I just didn't get it. It just didn't connect with me. And even through college, I almost flunked out one year. It was my one solo year of going away to school. I started off with community college, and I went to a school in upstate New York. And it was my first time being on supervise. I'm 19, 20 years old.
00:28:45
Speaker
Right. Do the math girls going crazy. I'm wild and losing my mind, depressed, homesick, all the, all the above. You can nearly flunk out. I had like a one point APA, which is like, it's like dirt. And I turned things around because I found.
00:29:03
Speaker
a little bit of purpose and I'll, you know, I'm curious for you, right? You know, six years to get this undergrad, was there like a different turning point for you? Was there like a moment or the, you said you started to get positive with yourself and not feel like an imposter? Like was there a moment like you're like, Hey, you know what? I gotta like step this up. I'm better than this. I'm what's being reflected on these grades is not who I am. Does that make sense? Of course. You know, I was broke in my parents' basement during COVID.
00:29:33
Speaker
And I was like, look, I need to start a business. And that's when I started Demi-Dag Radio Station, the Rock Reggae Station. And then it slowly turned into this business, but then in front of the map, I was in this other program where I was supposed to make my mate. After dedicating about two semesters to it, I ended up getting picked out. So I switched between board and major. I've started a business now.
00:30:01
Speaker
And suddenly I get into media and communication. For now, I'm doing something, which is my podcast, which I'm passionate about. I am further pursuing my goal with, you know, this new major. And suddenly I go from feeling depressed, feeling like garbage to now feeling, wow, you know, I have a direction. I have
00:30:23
Speaker
A meeting, you know, so that's when I sort of had an up, you know, that's when I real because I just found something that I was actually, you know, passionate about after that download spiral.
00:30:37
Speaker
Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. Right. And you said the big word, right? The passion behind it. Like you found something that inspired you, that lit you up. And I would venture to say if we were working together, like, you know, Jimbo, tell me about how that little spark, how that translates into different areas of your life. Like what else do you find passion?
00:30:58
Speaker
what else fulfills you and sustains you, right? And starting to connect all these dots like, wow, I have a lot of things in my life because I think what you mentioned before about like being an imposter, that's us doing like the social media life where we're looking at everybody's highlights, we're looking at everybody else who's so much better than us, who's ahead of us, man, I'm so stupid, I'm so small, right? Whatever thoughts were having, these disempowering thoughts,
00:31:23
Speaker
When we start to shift into, what am I good at? What do I love to do? What am I creative at? Those things start popping up all over the place. You start meeting people randomly, these coincidences, these random happenings that go on in our life. It's not because our frequency, our vibration is seeking out those things that are useful, that we're good at. The knowledge and those things have always been there, but now it's important to us. It's now, oh,
00:31:53
Speaker
Now I get to, you know, in my case, I like working with really interesting people, with fun people. Well, guess what? I get to, I bump into fun people all the time. They've always been there, but now my lens is looking at where these really sharp people who are really, who are exciting, they have interesting stories, and I get to be with them. It's just a joy. Well, before we wrap this up, I'm interested to know what some of these fun people, how they sort of influence you to,
00:32:22
Speaker
further pursue your book. Sorry, can you repeat that question? I missed the first part.
Influences and Authenticity
00:32:28
Speaker
So who are some of these fun people that you met and how did they kind of influence? Oh my gosh. So this one person that comes to mind, this guy, his name is Steve Hardison. He's regarded as the ultimate coach. He doesn't give himself that title. A lot of people have given him that title and he really is. He's just somebody who lives life.
00:32:49
Speaker
wild in the sense of what you and me would consider normal construct rules. He'll do things. There's been so many times he just calls me up out of the blue. That may not sound like a big thing, but in this world, in this new century, calling somebody is like,
00:33:09
Speaker
Whoa, whoa, can you text me? Send me a meme or something like that, right? And he'll do things like that. There's a lot of people in my world who just have interesting practices, people who take people on journeys, on hikes, and things like that, and coach in the woods. Just unusual things where you would think, well, it's business type. You got to be buttoned up, and we're going to be boardroom stuff, and there's something wrong with that. But I love those folks that just
00:33:35
Speaker
or kind of like misfits who think outside of the box and are willing to just test things out and go beyond different boundaries. I think that's one thing that keeps things fresh. It inspires me and shows me, oh, wait, that's possible. They're just being themselves like somebody coaches from an RV. They just travel around and do these different things. Man, that's cool. I don't necessarily would do that, but
00:34:03
Speaker
that's great that somebody is open to seeing what that looks like and just traveling and doing things like that. So I love people who are like that in my world and they, they feel me, they allow me to just be comfortable being me. So, you know, we mentioned feeling comfortable being me. What is that? Like, if you kind of go more in depth on that, or maybe people feel more comfortable
00:34:29
Speaker
Yeah, for me, I think it helped with this context. When I was younger, growing up in elementary school, middle school, high school, I had these two versions of me, right? At home, in my neighborhood, I'd be very quiet, kind of reserved, insecure, all these different things like I mentioned earlier. And at school, I was loud and brash, the class clown, doing whatever I could to get attention. And at that same time,
00:34:58
Speaker
that also created resentment because nobody really ever got to know me, got to know the real me. I never could go deep with somebody. I've never had a serious conversation. Everything was always turned into a joke. It was relentless, like nonstop. And I got to a point of like, man, I don't know if people are laughing at me or laughing with me. And then that brings up all these insecure feelings, the real inner side of me, like, oh, God, I'm scared. I'm a scared little boy.
00:35:27
Speaker
And so when I talk about being comfortable with myself, I still love laughing. I still love that humor is a big part of my life, a big part of my work too. And I also recognize that I can be serious. I can be deep with people. And I think when people meet me in person, they kind of get surprised, right? Because sometimes I can be a big personality and just ramped up a lot at times.
00:35:53
Speaker
And then he'd be like, wow, you're like really chill. Like you're like more mellow and just relax. I'm like, yeah. And I'm fine being either. I'm fine like being like when I do speak him and I'm at events, like, yeah, it's time to ramp it up. Right. This crowd is the energy. I love being with people. And then there's all the times like I just need like solo time for me. And there's nothing wrong with that. I used to think there was something wrong with that.
00:36:18
Speaker
people would come up to me as like, man, Alex, you're quiet. Like, is something wrong? And then I would put an idea in my head like, man, I'm quiet, man, there's something wrong with being quiet. Oh, and I need to like, you know, get crazy again and keep up the mass, the performance.
00:36:32
Speaker
So being comfortable with myself is really just me not being, I'm not here to perform for anybody. I'm just here to express who I am in some moments that might be me just being chilled, whatever. Other times it might be me being like super crazy.
00:36:48
Speaker
Champion Ra-Ra, dude. And other times, it's just being deep and having these powerful conversations with people. And they're all elements of me. There's no one size Alex. It's just me, take me, love me, leave me, whatever. All right. So what's kind of the future of you and your business? And also, is there any sort of closing words you'd like to give to the audience?
00:37:17
Speaker
Thank you for asking and thank you for having me on the show again. I appreciate you and what you're doing. Things like this are what I'm definitely creating more of, opportunities to share myself, get on stages, virtual stages and in-person stages. That's definitely the vision of the business and where I'm going, where I think when people can get a real experience of who I am, what I do,
00:37:46
Speaker
And sometimes I can be one-on-one and in this case it could be one to many. I think that helps not only obviously it helps my business, but it just helps people in general where they get to hopefully see a piece of themselves within my story and they feel
00:38:04
Speaker
Inspired to just be themselves and I think more people that are fully self-expressed Not hiding not not putting on a mass performance that helps all of us and so that's just my goal to help people be authentic themselves and that creates the abundance that generates the frequency of tapping into this endless stream of wealth that's available for all of us and we can get that then Life is good, especially for people calling the world to
00:38:36
Speaker
Last thing though is how can we reach? Yeah, great question. Thank you. You can reach me at alexdomoscoaching.com. I have a free gift for y'all there. It's called, this is an audio recording idea called Everybody Wins is 10 Disciplines for win-win communication. So it was some of these different principles that I've layered in within this conversation, but I kind of outlined them in
00:39:03
Speaker
more concrete ways. So these things like there's principles like generous listening is principles like presence, which is different powerful questions that you can ask yourself. Cause I'm a big believer that the question we live into the questions we ask ourselves, we ask ourselves really powerful questions and we can live a powerful life. So go to Alex to muscoaching.com. You'll get your free download there. There's more info about me and the work I do and opportunities for you to work with me. If that, if you'll call to that.
00:39:38
Speaker
I appreciate you Jimbo. Thank you, brother. Stay blessed.