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Overcoming Challenges: Navigating Adversity - A Conversation with Derick Johnson #163"
5 Plays9 months ago
Healing from a stormy past can ignite a fire within us to become champions of our own destinies. U.S. Army veteran and life coach Derek Johnson joins us this week to unfold his incredible journey through adversity. From a childhood hemmed in by substance abuse and rigid discipline to the empowering realms of personal development and fitness, Derek demonstrates how he turned his pain into a force that drives his commitment to helping others escape their destructive patterns. His story is a testament to the notion that our deepest struggles can be the very things that propel us towards growth and strength.
Cultural backgrounds and family dynamics can significantly impact how we develop resilience and navigate the pressures of life. This episode takes a deep look at how Derek's experiences, alongside my own transitions from team sports to solitary competition, have honed our abilities to thrive under pressure. We uncover the unexpected gifts trauma can bestow, such as keen discernment and an enhanced ability to read situations, and how these skills can serve us across various facets of life. Whether it's team synergy in sports or the camaraderie of military life, we discuss the importance of both individual tenacity and collective dynamics in shaping our ability to lead and succeed.
Mental fortitude is the linchpin of triumph over life's challenges. In this candid discussion, we dissect the mental hurdles that often stymie progress and explore practical strategies, like the "eliminate sheet," to break through blockages. Sharing personal transformations—from my own battle with bullying and weight to Derek's breakthroughs in mental health—we underscore the transformative power of confronting our inner struggles. We close this inspiring conversation by diving into the essence of self-improvement and the rewards that come from investing in ourselves and giving back, showing that true fulfillment lies in becoming the role models we once needed and now strive to be for others. Join us on this enlightening voyage towards cultivating resilience, leadership, and the best version of ourselves.
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Transcript
Introduction and Background
00:00:00
Speaker
Right. How's it going, Derek? How are you doing today? I'm doing good. I'm doing good. How are you doing, James? I'm doing well. So can we kind of begin by talking a bit about sort of who you are, what you're about, and what sort of the message that you are bringing here today, whatever it may be?
00:00:22
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. So yeah, so my name is Derek Johnson. I'm a US Army veteran turned life coach. So essentially what I do now is I help people break old patterns so they can thrive, not just survive.
Overcoming Personal Challenges and Family Issues
00:00:34
Speaker
So if they have food addictions, traumas, alcoholism, drugs, dating the same person with a different face, things like that, whatever their situation is, I help them get over that. So we pinpoint what their pattern is. But growing up, I grew up with my
00:00:51
Speaker
father and my mother, my father was US Army for 20 plus years. And my mother was a kindergarten teacher most of her life. So they were both very structured, very focused, disciplined, super tough parents. So it definitely helped me in regards to professionalism, work ethic, but on the flip side,
00:01:08
Speaker
living in that beautiful home in Florida. There's a lot of drinking involved at night. And so a lot of my upbringing was a lot of screaming, yelling, violence, physical verbal abuse and all that. So that is what kickstarted my personal development journey.
00:01:25
Speaker
which started with fitness. So in middle school, I really got into training, learning the body, learning the mind. And I was getting bullied at home, bullied at school. I was a skinny mixed kid. I'm half German, half African-American. So like hearing all the wild stuff. And so I deal with a lot at home and at school. So I said enough is enough. So I had to change my body and change my mentality. And then within two years, I did a total shift
00:01:52
Speaker
And then I became a personal trainer. So then I started training my teachers and all that. And then the journey began from there, but it all stemmed from the at home traumas, violence
Finding Positivity Through Fitness and Resilience
00:02:03
Speaker
and all that. And then what was happening at school where I just had to stand up for myself, because if not, I would have held in that anger and would have resorted to something else. And I knew that addiction runs on both sides of my family. So I chose fitness as my outlet, a positive addiction rather than the bottle or anything else.
00:02:22
Speaker
So you mentioned having a positive vision. So can we kind of go more into how you began to develop this positive vision? What was your first introduction to exercise? Did you have any, maybe any particular person that really interested you, someone that really motivated you to get into this? Or did you just get into it under your own,
00:02:48
Speaker
Yeah, great question. So it was more so as a teenager. I got obsessed with comeback stories. So people's biographies, all biographies, interviews, movies, music, anything where somebody went through a traumatic situation.
00:03:06
Speaker
and became successful. I was just super inspired by learning these stories. So as a teenager, I love sports. So I would learn pro athletes backstory on how they became who they were. And so I related a lot to people that had drugs and alcohol in their family, violence and all the other stuff. So it really got me excited because I said, you know what?
00:03:23
Speaker
This is part of my journey.
Transforming Pain into Growth
00:03:25
Speaker
This is part of my comeback story. So I would just repeat this story in my head. And I always kept things to myself. I never told my friends, never told my neighbors or teachers because I knew plenty of people that went through things worse. I had both parents. We had a beautiful home in Florida with the screened in pool and all that. So from the outside, it was beautiful. But behind closed doors, once the guests left and all that, once that last bottle was drank,
00:03:48
Speaker
That's when all hell broke loose, but it was more so me learning other people's stories to not undermine my own, but more so say, hey, it could be worse. I had friends that grew up in foster care and were in and out of homes is like, I have my parents, so I can't complain. So somebody's going to something worse. So let me take this pain, flip it into fuel, work on myself and then try to give back to others. So I always try to change that energy.
00:04:15
Speaker
And as we go deeper into this, what was your first introduction to being sort of in this alcoholic environment? Like, I don't think everyone might know here what it's like to live in alcoholic family or deal with family members that might have negative addictions. Like, what's your opinion on all this? Do you think this is, how did you sort of,
00:04:43
Speaker
begin to learn about this and begin to understand how this all works. You talked about the last ball. Was there always a certain time of the day where things would always get rough and rocky? Was there almost a shift in personality throughout the time of day? One day it's like this and another day it's a very different situation. So yeah, kind of get more into that.
00:05:07
Speaker
So all that bad dark energy would skyrocket at night. So after 9 p.m., from like 9 p.m. to midnight or 9 p.m. to 1 a.m., this was after they were on the phone with family and friends. After cookouts, our house was like the house that people came to have their little parties and get togethers. But once the last guest left, once that last phone call was made, the last bottle was put down, then something would just take them over. So it all started when I was 11.
00:05:34
Speaker
And then by the age of 12, I realized that, you know what? Something happened in their past. I'm not the problem. I was making good grades. I didn't get in trouble. I was like, there's zero reason for them to act like this. I was like, yeah, I did stupid stuff as a teenager, but nothing to that extreme that would have evolved them being that aggressive and everything. So I started seeing that my parents were looking through me when they were screaming and yelling. And what I mean, they would see somebody else. So whatever.
00:06:01
Speaker
happen in their past whoever use abuse whatever happened to both of them because they went through traumatic things they both grew up very poor so while they're drinking after the positive energy the get-togethers and all that something would shift and i guess they would have flashbacks and so that inspired me to learn about psychology and traumas and how people store traumas and try to cope with them so by age 14 from 12 to 14 i learned so much about psychology because i was like
00:06:30
Speaker
I have to do something because if not, I'm just going to be that angry teenager that's going to fight, that's going to do all the typical stuff.
Building Leadership and Personal Development
00:06:36
Speaker
And I was like, I can't have this path because I knew I have a extreme personality as in an addiction is running in my family. So I chose personal development and faith.
00:06:49
Speaker
So it was much higher at night. And then the very next morning, it would be like, hey, where do you want to have breakfast at? Would you like to meet for lunch, for sushi? And in my head the first couple of times, I'm like, the hell are you talking about? Like, do you not remember last night I had to clean up all this glass? Like, you're just going to pretend nothing happened. But it happened so many times that I said, you know what? This is a pattern. It's not my job to change them. I could just pray for them. But I said that this is all going to serve me and keep getting better.
00:07:19
Speaker
As we talk more about the interesting here to me is kind of a, yeah, sorry, my mic was, my camera was up. So when we kind of talk a bit more about this seeing through in a way, do you sort of know who they were trying to talk to, who they may have been speaking to? You mentioned like one of your family members was also in the military as well. Do you think that might've been a sort of
00:07:49
Speaker
PTSD in a way or I'm not familiar. Yes. So it definitely could have been PTSD on my dad's side, but the more aggression was from my mom. So if people are familiar with the German culture, it's very similar to Korean and Hispanic, like women in those culture when they're angry or drunk, they will scream until they pass out. Like they will not stop being aggressive until they literally just pass
00:08:15
Speaker
out or go to sleep. Like there's no, there's no in between. It's zero or a hundred. Like there's no between. Some people, I think that's sounds crazy, but it's very true. I'm not saying all of them, but the majority of those cultures, it's just one of those things. When the fire goes, they don't stop until they literally just pass out or they just get tired or get sick and then they go to sleep.
00:08:35
Speaker
So it's not like a 10 minute argument. It'll turn into like four hours. So you can just imagine somebody like like extreme stuff. But on the flip side, the good side was that prepared me for the U.S. Army. So when I was like 17, 18 and I had drill sergeants in my face, almost bust out laughing because I was like my five foot four German mom would destroy all of you. So looking at it in a
00:08:59
Speaker
playground, as in a playground in the mind, I was always prepared for said stressful situations. So when my soldiers were stressed out, crying and breaking down and all that, I was just very calm in those extreme situations. And I was like, huh.
00:09:13
Speaker
That's a gift and everything clicked. And I was like, you know what, they prepared me for this. And so I did really well in the army or also just in general as a friend, I was always the dad of the group. Cause I was always just really calm. Like we would be out in college or in high school and I would always just look around and I'd say, Hey, watch out that guy on the red shirt is going to get in a fight or this person is going to do that. And they're like, what are you talking
Journey to Becoming a Personal Trainer
00:09:35
Speaker
about? 10 minutes later, something will happen, but you could just read the room. So on the positive side of the journey,
00:09:42
Speaker
I truly believe that everybody was given a gift from their trauma and it's our job to figure out what that gift is.
00:09:50
Speaker
So my gift as a child was discernment. I could read somebody's energy or a room. I can meet them where they're at and slowly build them up. Or I could see a threat, like I could spot a threat just in terms of energy, even if nothing was happening. But that's just because that little kid was hyper aware thinking he's going to get hit or something's going to be thrown at him. So he was always on edge and proactive. So long term, I realized that those things helped me a lot with my career, sports, and just in general as a man.
00:10:19
Speaker
And you mentioned sports very briefly. What did you sort of do as a sport on the side? Maybe wild military, maybe outside. What was going on with your athletic, any kind of fitness?
00:10:36
Speaker
Yes, into basketball and martial arts, basketball and martial arts. And then I got tired of team sports. I'm a great team player, but I got tired of losing because if you missed a shot, I lose too. And that would annoy me. So I got into single sports as in martial arts. I was like, if I lose, it's on me.
00:10:52
Speaker
And then also track and field, I did the 400 meters. So I love just the individual sport. I was a team player, but I just got more out of it for my mentality, doing it alone, but I learned so much in martial arts. So that was one of the best things that helped my mentality was to be calm, learning the forms and all that. If somebody doesn't have experience in martial arts, the outside, they might just think fighting or MMA or like this.
00:11:19
Speaker
typical UFC mentality, tap out shirts and all that. It's nothing like that. Real martial artists are very calm, controlled. They don't talk about fighting. And so as a teenager going through a lot, my sensei could see and feel something was going on me, but he never asked a question.
00:11:36
Speaker
He probably figured out what was going on, even though I never said anything, but he would force me to go train the kids classes when he could tell I was angry. He could tell I wanted to come in and punch the punching bag and he was like, hey, I see you got great energy today, go teach the class. And I was like, oh God, you gotta be kidding me, can I go hit the bag? And I'm like 16, 17, he's like, no, go teach the class. So I would have to harness my energy and help these kids learn forms and everything else. So it helped me.
00:12:03
Speaker
on in regards to self-control and really manage that stress management and that energy. And you know, this is just something that's just coming out of the top of my head here, but what I find interesting or a bit paradoxical is that you do, in preferred sports there are a bit more individual based, but a lot of times I think when the common person thinks about the army,
00:12:28
Speaker
they sort of think about sort of that teamwork and that collaboration and sort of that deep unit. So it's almost like on one end you're very individualistic and on another end you're also very unity based. So do you sort of notice that contrast? Did you have difficulty kind of working with other people like that? Because you don't sound like that, but you just seem like, you just say you're very diverse in that way.
00:12:58
Speaker
Yeah, so it was more so when it came to exercise, I would love to be by myself and just be in this head space. Like I've never really liked working out with people. If I'm training somebody, it's different. As a personal trainer, I love it. That's a passion. But if I'm doing my workout, I don't really like to train with people because like they'll ask him any questions or they'll talk about what's Drake doing? What's Tony Robbins doing? What are all these people doing? I'm like, I don't care. I'm like, shut up, workout. So I'd rather train alone. But when it comes to a group setting, I do like,
00:13:27
Speaker
group building. And so in the army, what really helped was working with different cultures and ethnicities and different personalities. Like one person grew up without parents, grew up poor, didn't know anybody. They become one of the best soldiers. This person, they grew up coddled, rich home, never had any sense of stress. And they like panic in the military or in real life situations because they were always coddled and babied. So they can't function in real society. So that person actually needs more help than the person that's been through a lot.
00:13:55
Speaker
So it's sad on both ends, but as a good leader and team member, you could help this person because they just have not experienced everything. They were just gifted and blessed, which is good. I don't wish bad on anyone, but a lot of society nowadays I noticed is just, they were coddled so much and that's why they struggled so much. And then on the flip side, the ones that have actually been through things and did the self work, they thrive in the areas and they usually become better leaders. And they're usually quicker to take actions and make decisions where like the other person would be frozen, overthink,
00:14:25
Speaker
think, overanalyze, have analysis paralysis, things like that. But if they have a good leader on their team, a good support system, then they can help push them as well. So it was always interesting. So in a team standpoint, it was more so a leadership, but in a personal standpoint, personal development, fitness or mindset, I would always enjoy doing it by myself. What do you get out of training?
00:14:51
Speaker
you know, because I know with training yourself, we talked about
Guiding Others in Personal Growth
00:14:56
Speaker
sort of creating positive habits, you know, getting respect from other people, sort of dealing with other things like that, and mostly just to grow yourself as a person. But I don't think we've gotten into what you get out of training because how did you begin to get into this interest of sort of being this, well, this personal trainer?
00:15:20
Speaker
Yeah, so I became a personal trainer at age of 15 because people knew me as a skinny kid. I was that skinny kid that was quiet, shy, fearful. I was getting beat up. People didn't know what I was. They were like, is he Mexican? Is he Spanish? Is he white? Whatever. And so I grew up in in Pensacola, Florida. So it's in the south. So there's a lot of racism, close minded mentalities and all that. So I dealt with a lot of stuff from my own people. Like I would get jumped by black people once I'm
00:15:48
Speaker
moved from Germany to the States. And like I never had anything against anybody, but it just was what it was. The mixed kids had to prove themselves. So we had the fight to show I'm not soft, like your light skin as well. So you probably dealt with it to an extent. So people assume certain things in some parts of the nation. So it was always interesting because before moving from Germany to the States, I was told all this stuff. They're like, oh, you got to watch out for racism. You got to watch out for the bullies and all this. And
00:16:14
Speaker
Before moving to America, I was always watching American high school movies. And all Europeans are like, is really like that in American schools. Cheerleader, jock, bully. And once I came over, I was like, yup, it's just like the movies. I was getting thrown in the locker room, pushing the toilet, like all the movie stuff happened to me as a teen. And I just got tired of that because I was skinny. I didn't know what to do and all that. So that's what harnessed me into working on myself. But because I know what that feels like to be embarrassed at home, in public, all the stuff.
00:16:43
Speaker
is I wanted to help build people up. So what I get out of training people, whether that's life coaching with their mentality or helping them with their body and nutrition and health, it's the fulfillment to see them stronger and confident. So I like to call it, you could see the light back in their eye because maybe they have some level of trauma or stress and they feel insecure.
00:17:06
Speaker
And sometimes it's not even just like body related. It might just be public speaking or it might be they're qualified on paper for a raise or promotion, but they have a fear of speaking to management or whoever's higher. So working on their physique and their mentality can make them feel more empowered. And they're like, you know what? I'm going to knock on that door.
00:17:25
Speaker
I'm going to send that email, make that call. So I really get a rise out of seeing people just get out of their comfort zone and they make themselves proud. Like those text messages, those emails are like, Hey, I got a promotion. I went on my first, first date in three years. I gave my first speech to a group of 10 at work, like all those.
00:17:44
Speaker
small things and they keep building. I'm like, yes, because I remember their version one where they were like, they couldn't even speak their body language is all stiff and everything. And it's, it's awesome to see somebody grow and evolve. And the best part about it is the positive ripple effect for them. So anybody they come into contact with, they sense that that male or female, they're just focusing in the zone. And people are like, I don't know what you do, but I want this kind of person around me or on my team.
00:18:09
Speaker
because they're just focused, trying to help people just have a different level of energy. So I love seeing people where they're at. No matter if they're really low, I could see like their version 10.0. And the only reason is because I could relate to an extent. And so building them up and guiding them. So it's not like I'm giving them everything, but you're guiding them and then they figure out some things alone. But having that support system is everything. And going back to childhood, teenage years, I really think that a lot of people get into careers
00:18:38
Speaker
And they give others what they didn't receive. So I didn't receive the support. Like in our home, we never said, I love you. Like nobody said that in our house or like, suck it up. Let's keep going. Drive on. Like it was just military German mentality is like, go, go, go. We got to get up at four, get up at five, workout, go work. I guess I was just.
00:18:57
Speaker
mentality, you got to study hard. And it was all like success driven, which helped a lot. But on the flip side, the emotional the communication that was just not at home. So I had to learn that with sports with my teachers and all that. So with that being said is that the gift from the trauma was discernment. And then the other gift was being able to actually listen to people. Because some people's family members you speak about your passion, they don't listen, or they just do this.
00:19:26
Speaker
Oh, yeah, I'm listening. And you're just like, why am I even talking? I might as well talk to my dog and I'd get better reaction than that. So a lot of people feel that way. That's why they hold things in because a lot of people don't care to listen. So knowing how that feels, I just try to be actively present and actively listen to that person. And then I just feedback what they said and I get them to go deeper and like, oh, you're into
00:19:48
Speaker
cooking what got you into that and they're like somebody's asking me what got me into that because most people are like oh you like cooking and I really like to peel back the layers and you start seeing their excitement come they're like wow somebody's actually asking me questions about my passion and just learning about people so it's powerful because it helps both people you could learn and then also you seize them just feeling in a good space to actually talk about what they're passionate about
00:20:12
Speaker
And I'm assuming right now it came to camaraderie and connecting your fellow soldiers that idea of.
00:20:23
Speaker
you getting to know them, listening to them, building connections with their backgrounds. Very important because you were sort of, your lives were in a way in each other's hands. If you think about it, you were watching their backs. Yes, you were telling me that, but they also have to watch your back too and look out for you. So again, something doesn't happen there. That's the really interesting part, because I think we talked a lot about sort of
00:20:52
Speaker
that idea of you being a fitness coach. But now that I really look at you, you're coming across more of as, let's just say, I don't know if you like this term, but would you consider yourself more of a life coach?
Mindset and Holistic Life Coaching
00:21:05
Speaker
Because what I see you doing is you are sort of giving people the whole package in a sense. You're doing more than just fitness, if that makes sense.
00:21:15
Speaker
Yeah, 100%. And that's why I start first with mentality. And so here's an example. Somebody could already be in pretty good shape. They just need new workouts to push past thresholds and get a little bit more endurance or strength. Maybe they don't have a physique goal, but we pinpoint what they want to get rid of.
00:21:34
Speaker
And usually it's negative thoughts, intrusive thoughts, overthinking, procrastination. We're now in February. Some people haven't done a damn thing about their goals and Christmas are like new year, new me. So if that's them, we get them out of that average mentality, but whatever their thing is that they need to eliminate.
00:21:52
Speaker
One of the first things that I do with people is we create an eliminate sheet. Sorry, the sun's shining in. We create an eliminate sheet where we ask the question, what could you get rid of that will help you make more progress? What could you get rid of that will help you make more progress? And usually, it's something very small. For some people, it's sugar. They eat or drink too much sugar. And they're like, man, my sugar is spiking and dropping my energy. Then they're craving carbs. So for that person, it might not be trauma. It might just be sugar.
00:22:21
Speaker
And somebody else, it might be alcohol. For this other person, it might be they overthink and they freeze. They're like, I need a better plan. I need to prepare more. I need to study more. And then if you look at their life, they've been kind of like this. They have tons of knowledge and skills, but they're like very hesitant. So we really pinpoint what their thing is. And then once we're slowly able to get rid of the small things, they tend to get their power back.
00:22:46
Speaker
and then they really get the results, because everything just starts mental. But it's interesting, because once their cortisol level is lower, their stress hormone, their body just follows. Because some people, they train hard, they eat healthy, and they're like, man, why am I always bloated? Why do I feel so sluggish? I'm eating healthy, I'm drinking water, I'm doing all this stuff. And then you really peel back the layers, and you realize that they're living in fight or flight. So their cortisol is up here all day long, and so their body is just like,
00:23:16
Speaker
crud trying to hold on to everything they get because it's confused their hormones are all out of whack. And so once we start to work on the mentality, the body relaxes and then like literally everything starts changing their skin, their appearance, their eyes, their energy. And like I noticed those things and they're just like yo
00:23:33
Speaker
Oh, what did you do? I feel like I look like a different person. I'm like, yo, day one, I gave you just sense of your body language. You just like had so much in here that we had to get some of that stuff out or whatever trauma was in his or her chest. And you could usually tell by somebody's body language. But those are honestly my favorite things because I know that once they can get rid of those things or take their power over that thing, that's when they can start to thrive in life. So they never feel like
00:24:00
Speaker
whatever mom did to them, what their ex did to them, their ex wife, whatever somebody did to them, they're no longer carrying it with them. They see it and say, you know what? It did happen. This was part of my journey. I learned something from it. It's a blessing, but I'm not going to waste energy to be.
00:24:16
Speaker
angry or sad about it anymore. It's more so like, hey, it is what it is. We can't change the past. Now we're going to see what do we get from this thing. And then once they shift that mentality, it's like they get loose. Their body language is like this when day one, they were like tense and just holding a lot in. So, and a huge thing we also do is as a man, especially with men is always recommend that guys release, release
00:24:40
Speaker
So what I mean by that is allowing yourself to be human. So I asked some guys, I'm like, when was the last time you cried for like one minute straight? And at first they're like, what? I was, I don't mean sad, but if you just feel like you worked out, you drank water, you made some money, you closed the business deal, you got a promotion, you're just like,
00:24:58
Speaker
man, something is just not there. I'm like, when was the last time you grabbed the steering wheel in the car and just yelled for like a minute and just released or walked into nature, went on a walk, sprinted, or just, just let everything out. And at first you're like, I
Overcoming Modern Vices and Distractions
00:25:12
Speaker
don't know. I don't think I've done that before, but if they start to do that, like once a month or something, they realize how calm they are because many people, especially men we hold so much in.
00:25:20
Speaker
And that's why we mask things, alcohol, drugs, porn, people, women, sleeping, whatever the case may be, everybody has advice. But if that person can release that energy, as in their emotions or anger, then he or she just feels so much calmer. So we focus a lot on releasing.
00:25:39
Speaker
But yeah, going back to what you were saying is definitely all head space. That's what I'm most passionate about. The fitness part is easy. Anybody can follow a workout plan or nutrition, but once they can get the right head space and most importantly, get rid of their vices or control of the traumas, then that's when they start to really do well in a lot of areas.
00:25:59
Speaker
When it comes to sort of getting rid of the vices, what are some of the most common typical vices that you might commonly see when you work with a client? You know, like I think you mentioned sugar before, you mentioned, you know, again, you've experienced the alpha or those types of things and the form is all nothing, but what are some
00:26:23
Speaker
very typical things you tend to notice with your clients. And maybe too, we could talk a bit about some of the big success stories as well. Yeah, for sure. So definitely the most common thing would be alcohol and overthinking. Alcohol and overthinking. And overthinking to the point where the person is frozen, as in they don't take action on their passion, their business,
00:26:47
Speaker
their career, reaching out to that guy or girl that they want to speak to, whatever that thing is, they're like, they're this close to taking action, and they talk themselves out of it, or they think they're not ready, or they say it's not the right time. There's so many people, they have tons of gifts, wisdom, knowledge, skills, but they settle for a career or a path that just doesn't bring them passion and doesn't fulfill them.
00:27:12
Speaker
And so everybody's on their own journey, but seeing how common that is, it's sad because many people are just kind of just going through the motions. They're like living to work and pay bills and waiting for Friday to drink, sleep Monday. Oh, I hate Mondays. And it's a vicious cycle. So it's very common to see. So getting people out of that headspace where you're like, yo,
00:27:32
Speaker
you are here for more and just reminding them of that. And then they can really pinpoint and say, I didn't realize that I was overthinking for so long or scared to take that risk, to take that action or make an investment in themselves, whatever their thing is. But I definitely noticed that overthinking is a huge thing. And the reason that is so common now is because now humans more than ever in history, we have a lower attention span than ever. So people can't like focus
00:28:01
Speaker
It's on one thing more than 10 minutes because the notification goes off, Instagram, TikTok, their best friend, their memes, a group chat, celebrity, Spotify, just all this stuff. Amazon cart deliveries. Like everything is so quick and in your face.
00:28:14
Speaker
that many people are just like, every five minutes they're just looking at something. And so the people that can control their attention longer, they tend to usually get the best results because they're not allowing themselves to get distracted by those things. Like these devices are awesome. They can create opportunities. We can get connected with good people, but for most of society, it's just total distraction. Cause like nothing they do on there is like helping their life really. It's just keeping them from their goals.
00:28:41
Speaker
So definitely working on their attention span. And that goes back to the overthinking and feeling stuck. And then the other common one would be alcohol.
00:28:51
Speaker
and alcohol more so as in feeling like they need to do that, as in liquid courage. So like he or she has social anxiety and they're like, I need to take a shot at home or in the car before I walk in there. And it's become such a pattern that they literally can't go anywhere without having something. And if they really zoom out and say, maybe they don't have a drinking problem, but maybe they feel like they need to get the edge off before they go into a social setting or a sales call or something. And so if that person,
00:29:19
Speaker
got very serious about their physicality and their mindset. They noticed that they don't have to rely on an outside source, whether that's smoking, drinking, whether that's like taking unnecessary naps, but those are some very common ones, the overthinking and the alcohol. So not so much as in like saying that everybody's alcoholic, but more so people mainly struggle with the social aspect. So like,
00:29:45
Speaker
They want to take the edge off, and once they get a couple drinks, a couple shots, then they kind of get out of their shell. But if they really zoom out and say, do you really need that thing? Do you know how to get to that level of confidence without having that thing? Or quote unquote, get the edge off. So that's a huge thing that we focus on. That's a really good experience, you know, because even now people are still trying to do things. People in Silicon Valley trying to micro those from things like
00:30:14
Speaker
Mushrooms and LSD, you know, and that's the interesting part because they're actually taking these things to maximize their performance. How I see that seems at risk, but my thing is this, what are some of your top client success?
Success Stories and Inner Narratives
00:30:34
Speaker
What are some of the most reputable clients who've heard of maybe some stories about the success that they've achieved and kind of go into a bit of, you know, how did that success they achieve make you as a person? Great question. So I have one of my clients.
00:30:54
Speaker
Tyler, he lost over a hundred pounds last year. He lost over a hundred pounds and he grew up being bullied as well. So he was always the chunky kid. That's what he says. I might call him chunky, but it is what it is. He was a big boy back then. So he was made fun of. People were poking his cheeks, poking his stomach, poking his chest.
00:31:12
Speaker
flicking his chest, like doing all the typical stuff in high school. And so this was always in his mind. And he had a lot of pent up anger where he would have dreams just beating the shit out of his bullies. And he was like, I need to get rid of this anger before one day I snap. And so it was a real thing. Many men like just have this unnecessary anger. We got embarrassed.
00:31:29
Speaker
whether it's from a woman or a man, and we hold in this resentment. We can flip it into fuel and work on our goals, but a lot of men, that's why they snap in public. But long story short, we pinpointed why he wanted the results. So once we can pinpoint why somebody actually wants it, it's not just the physique, it's not just the abs, it's not just the promotion or the money. There's something that happened in their past that made them not want to go backwards.
00:31:55
Speaker
And so for him, it was the bullying and how he felt. So he realized that in a social setting, no matter how in shape he was or how good he was as his job or sales, that narrative in the back of his head was like, I'm still that little fat kid that's insecure and people are looking at me judging me.
00:32:12
Speaker
So that narrative was in a subconscious. He wasn't purposely trying to put himself in that state, but it would just be there. He's like, so let's just say he closed a big deal. And he looks at his account and say, hey, this is awesome, but I don't deserve this. Who am I? I'm just a fat 12 year old who's made fun of blah, blah, and like would run this story. And I realized how much it was affecting him. So we slowly started to change his narrative and then found more
00:32:38
Speaker
holistic and natural releases. So got off the drugs, got off the drinking and all that. And then I really started to see him come back to it. So now just seeing his transformation, you can literally see in his skin that he just looks like a different person. It's night and day, but outside of just the body transformation of a hundred pounds is the confidence and just the pride in himself that he's like, man, I'm happy. I'm happy and proud of the man I am.
00:33:03
Speaker
And he just shows up better for others. People like, man, my coworkers are asking me like, Hey, how do you do this? His family's like, Hey, you're just like doing everything. So he's just inspiring people now. And he loves that people are coming to him.
00:33:15
Speaker
because he's not used to that because he used to be really closed in because that narrative from the past was always running in his mind. So it's just awesome to see now he's doing better in his career, in his friendships and relationships and just overall social setting because of the confidence, not just the physique, but that story, that little voice is very quiet now. It never fully goes away, but it's very quiet. So I call it the boss voice and the bitch voice. Which one is louder, your boss voice or your bitch voice?
00:33:42
Speaker
So the bitch voice is telling you to hit snooze five times and that person hit snooze. They didn't get up. They said they're going to work out. I'll do it next Monday. I'll do it tomorrow. That person has been doing that for years, which is why they feel stuck. But if somebody quiets that down and gets more discipline than their boss voice is in control. They're like, you know what? I don't feel like doing this, but let me stop being selfish. People depend on me. So let me show up the right way. So that's like the narrative that they have in their head. And
00:34:10
Speaker
As we kind of go a bit deeper into this narrative that goes on in your head, can you explain how that narrative slowly shifted as you became the man that you are today? Yeah, for sure.
00:34:33
Speaker
quiet, insecure, shy kid, I knew that I didn't want to feel this way. So I would watch a lot of movies, read a lot of books about people that overcame traumas. And I realized the common thread was their discipline focused and confident, discipline, focusing, confident. And I knew I wanted those things, not just to feel better or holier than thou, but more so to
00:34:55
Speaker
prepare myself for life and just be able to have that calm energy to lead others in a good way and just lead by example.
00:35:04
Speaker
A lot of the shift happened after I got in shape and was able to help a lot of people physically and mentally. It was just knowing that you're not letting yourself down. So the narrative in the moments where you don't feel like doing anything has always been people depend on me. I don't have kids, but I have friends, clients, an online community. And so they look out for my posts or whether it's in person, whatever it is, but I just think of others and I just try to show up better. So that's why I wake up early. I focus on my body and mind.
00:35:41
Speaker
hitting snooze, stress, anxiety, and just like reacting to the whole day. And so that's why I harness the morning routine. So the narrative is always how can I become the best man that I could be and how can I give back to other others? Because I feel like that's what we're all here for. So like personal one could become highly successful. They have the money, they have the house, they have the family, they have the cars and all this stuff, but they're miserable.
00:35:59
Speaker
and then I'm just proactive and calm and confident throughout the day. Because if I didn't, I'll just feel like everybody else.
00:36:05
Speaker
the reason why they're not passionate and fulfilled, because they're not giving back to others in a certain way. And that can be in any way that could be financially, that could be time, volunteering, whatever. And then this person, they have fulfillment.
00:36:19
Speaker
because they help a lot of people. They can still get success, but they are more fulfilled because they're actually healing their inner child and they're able to help heal others. Even if it's not their career, they could just give back to charities, help animal shelters, whatever the thing is, but it's always a full circle thing. So I truly believe that once we learn more,
00:36:38
Speaker
We can teach more and help others instead of just hoarding information. Like everybody knows somebody in their family or that lives near them. That's just, they have all this knowledge, wisdom and wealth and finances, but they just hold it in. They're just like, no, I don't want to tell James. I don't want him to do better to me. And I don't want to tell her. And they just have this energy that they're just just hoarding information and they're miserable. And you can always sense it in somebody's body language. And seeing those type of people, I feel bad for them because I'm like, you'd feel so much better if you were able to teach that stuff to people and not think of it.
00:37:07
Speaker
as a competitive standpoint like oh here she's gonna try to steal my stuff or whatever it's like. Is what it is but yeah definitely being able to see how you can get fulfillment by helping others so the mentality is thinking of others. But it all starts with ourselves so as a cliche saying goes when you're on an airplane.
00:37:26
Speaker
You have to don your own oxygen mask on first before you help anybody
Embracing Positive Growth and Leadership
00:37:29
Speaker
else. So that's what I keep in my head in the morning. I got to take care of me, put on my mask, then I can show up better for others because I already got my oxygen. Excellent. And I think, you know, competitiveness is definitely a big thing. I personally experienced a lot in academia, even now, you know, but I would say on a bigger, more grandiose scale, we live in a capitalist society as a whole.
00:37:55
Speaker
sort of built on competition, but how I see it, you know, there's healthy competition and then there's unhealthy competition. I think we're talking about the unhealthy side. How do you focus on improving yourself maybe in a way that's focused more on healthy competition?
00:38:12
Speaker
Great question. So the shift happened when I was in college. I was in my 20s. So up until like 20 or 21, I ran off anger. I wasn't an angry person. I was always positive, always helping other people, trying to make people smile, listen to them. But in my head, I was just like, ah, just pissed off. Because I was just thinking about the past. And so it helps during the workout. Sometimes I put yourself in a headspace. But I realized that I would just be annoyed a lot. And I was wasting energy.
00:38:42
Speaker
One of the biggest things was making sure that I could get rid of that anger. Still having a little bit to use to your advantage because you can use the dark side. You can use your pain to your advantage, but making sure that
00:38:54
Speaker
That's not the only driving force because after a while that person starts to live in that state. If they're only using that trauma to guide and push them, it can work. That's why a lot of people succeed. They run off the pain, the heartbreak, et cetera. A guy, a guy got his heart shattered. Next thing you know, in one year he makes a total body transformation becomes successful and you're like, whoa, he needed this to happen to him. But if he runs off that anger and says, I hate women.
00:39:19
Speaker
He just has this aggression. He's going to be miserable long term. So he has to realize like, yo, I work on myself. Now let me get rid of some of this anger and continue to level up. So it's just the endless journey of realizing that is my pride and ego in the way. And if somebody can actually say that and say yes or no, then they can evolve in any area of their life. And they can say, is my pride or ego in the way? If it is, what can they do to get it out of the way slowly? So me as a teen, I was like, I'm not listening to anybody.
00:39:48
Speaker
I didn't think I knew everything, but I would just ask people. I'm like, if I listen to you, will I end up like you? And teachers were like, look at me like, where's this coming from? And I was just being blunt. I wasn't trying to be mean, but I was that teen. I was like, I'm not listening to you. Like you drink at work. And the teacher's like, what? I'm like, yeah, I see you pour that thing. I'm not going to tell on you, but I'm not taking your advice.
00:40:08
Speaker
And I would just be very blunt with people. And I was like, I can see through the stuff, not judging. But I would just tell them that, especially with family. But once I started meeting people that were doing things that I wanted to do, and I realized they didn't have to drink, do drugs, and using abuse people, I was like, wow, this person's like a unicorn. These people exist. Because growing up, you're told rich people are all pricks. They're selfish and all this. And once you meet rich people that have faith, that are humble, that are confident, that are making an impact, you're like, wait a minute.
00:40:37
Speaker
What they taught me was complete BS. I see proof of what you can do, because you can do it all and have it all. And so I got really excited about that. So that really helped me as well. So number one, making sure that I wasn't just running off anger as a teen, shifting it to help more people, tapping into it when needed, but then also being surrounded by people that are way above me just to learn from them and really see how they carry themselves.
00:41:04
Speaker
It was always interesting, but again, it all starts with pushing pride and ego aside as a team. They were in the way, and that's why I was in the way. I was like hitting my head against the wall, basically. But now it's just like, all right, it's out of the way. I'm open to listen to whoever has a lot of knowledge, and I'll absorb like a sponge. So that's definitely the journey of that is once a man or woman can identify their pride and ego has been in the way for a while, then they can actually shift because they're open for change. Not everybody's open for change.
00:41:34
Speaker
open this thing.
Future Plans and Personal Challenges
00:41:35
Speaker
This has been an excellent informative interview. But to kind of close off with some more questions here, what is sort of the future of your brand? What's the future of Derek Johnson right now? His brand, his mission, his purpose right now? What is going to happen with this platform in the future? Great question. So my biggest
00:42:00
Speaker
goal is to do retreats slash masterminds. So three days we meet on a Friday, everybody flies in and on that day we all go hiking. So there's like 50 to 100 people, not thousands, just 50 to 100 people. We all go hiking up a mountain and not like actually rock climbing and mountain climbing, but just hiking up it on a trail. And so some people have never done that. So we would go very high all the way to the peaks or pushing each other
00:42:25
Speaker
Everybody's sweating, camaraderie, you're hiking with complete strangers and everybody's laughing, drinking water, somebody got injured, you help them, carry them up. So all those different things that people need, that group building. We get to the top, we're hydrating, and then we just start to release. So we do a lot of natural release exercises. So no MDMA, no ayahuasca, it's just breathing, breath work, release. And so what's going to happen is some people will get super hyped.
00:42:51
Speaker
Some will probably break down and release a lot of emotions, but the whole intent is just to let that out up top. We just had a workout. We move the body. So now the mind is open at the top. We release. And after that, we walk down. An interesting thing that happens when you're walking down, people start to have the most amazing conversations because everybody's neutral. We just worked out and we just release.
00:43:14
Speaker
So everybody's actually present. And in that moment, it's the equivalent as if everybody in the room just drank five shots and they're like, oh, hey, and then they start opening up. It's the equivalent, but in a positive way. So they're walking down. So that's day one. Day two is a deep in-person workshop and like a hotel banquet, but there's no pitch fest as in you're not selling tickets to the next event or to the gold package and all the other stuff. Everybody's been to an event where they're just selling you something else. You went there to learn something and they're just like, well, I won't teach you that till you buy the next ticket.
00:43:44
Speaker
So, none of that crap. So, in that day, we work individually, myself and my team, on who needs help with what. So, we do a lot of round robin, have breakthrough sessions and everything, whether that's finances, personal development. So, I have a lot of friends that are experts in different things. So, they'll be in the house helping those. And then day three,
00:44:02
Speaker
is more of us breaking bread. So just people having to cook out, swimming, whatever, just having fun, really getting to know each other. But everybody goes home with action steps that they can take on their specific goals. So after they leave, they have
00:44:18
Speaker
a workbook that have tons of things that they could take action on. So it's not just a motivational event where you're like, awesome, he gave me chills and made me want to work out. And now the next morning, it's like now what? So that's why I don't consider myself a motivational speaker, I'd rather give somebody proven action steps that they could take rather than just hype them up.
00:44:35
Speaker
But I've always had that vision of that and doing the three days of that, Friday to Sunday, Sunday, people fly home. But once they get back home into work Monday, they just show up a different person because they have things at their disposal they can use. And most importantly, they have friendships, camaraderies, probably new clients, people on their phone that they're like, wow, these people are open for change and getting that camaraderie as well. So that strong community is amazing.
00:45:04
Speaker
Are there any closing last words we'd like to give the audience there before I let you all? Yeah, for sure. So I would challenge people to ask themselves, how can I become the man or woman that I always needed? And how could I give them to the world?
00:45:22
Speaker
How can I become the man or woman that I always needed? And how could I give them to the world? That could be career. It could be product or service. It could just be spiritual. It could be whatever you choose. It doesn't have to be your career. But I think that's why we're all here. We all have a level of stress, pain, and trauma. It's our job to find the gifts, work on ourselves, and then give back to others, because then it all makes sense. And we're like,
00:45:44
Speaker
We weren't just here for the pain and seeing others building them up is just so fulfilling to everybody. So that's my favorite thing. But what can somebody do to become that man or woman they needed? And how can you give that that person back to the world? Thank you again. I appreciate it. You know, for being on the show, this has really been an amazing interview. I definitely learned a lot. Hopefully the audience has learned a lot.
00:46:10
Speaker
And I would also like to thank everyone for watching this show. I will see you all next.