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Rising from Adversity: Yahne Sneed's Path to Empowerment and the Power of Emotional Resilience
6 Plays6 months ago
Have you ever wondered what it takes to rise like a phoenix from the depths of life's toughest challenges? That's exactly what Yane Sneed, founder of Relentless Phoenix, embodies as she takes us through her harrowing journey from a childhood marred by abuse and bullying to a life dedicated to empowering others. Yane's story is a beacon of hope, illuminating the transformative power of mentorship, social work, and the simple, yet profound act of sharing one's narrative.
As a mindset coach, I've witnessed firsthand the electrifying 'aha' moments that clients experience as they navigate through personal traumas and emotional obstacles. Each breakthrough not only reshapes an individual's life but also weaves into the fabric of societal harmony. Balancing parenting with personal development, I share insights on fostering emotional resilience and positive traits in my own children, underscoring the ripple effect our individual actions have on the world around us.
Closing with an exploration of emotional resilience, grace, forgiveness, and accountability, Yane and I emphasize these cornerstones as essential for overcoming adversity. The anticipation of our Religious Phoenix Podcast is a call to action for listeners to join the conversation, share their stories, and find solace in unity. Whether you're facing personal struggles or seeking a spark of inspiration, our dialogue serves as a heartfelt reminder of the community and strength found in collective growth.
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Transcript
Introducing Yane Sneed
00:00:02
Speaker
All right. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the show. Today we have the special guest, Yane Sneed. I might be pronouncing that wrong if she will correct me. Again, I make these mistakes all the time, but yeah, let's see what she has to say. Did I pronounce that properly? If I didn't, so. No, yeah, Yane. Okay.
Yane's Life Story and Message
00:00:28
Speaker
So can you tell me a little bit about yourself, who you are, what you're about, and what your message is?
00:00:36
Speaker
Yeah. Load a question when I'm ready to start. My message, I'm gonna start from my message. My message is just basically about giving back, making sure everyone knows that they're loved and that they're thought of. And the reason why I say that is because I came from a very challenging background. I didn't really have the best foot in life. I didn't really have the best cars in life that was dealt to me. So I really had to
00:01:02
Speaker
manifest what I wanted to be in this world. I didn't have a lot of fame members that supported me or spoke life into me. My mom, during the early years of my life, she mentally and emotionally abused me. My dad, mentally, emotionally, and sexually abused me. I didn't really have a lot of friends. I was bullied a lot. Needless to say that I was very aggressive child, very misunderstood child.
00:01:28
Speaker
And I looked in search for a bi-identity and my purpose because no one really showed me what that looked like and how to really manifest that into this world, into myself as well, to show myself love, my confidence. It wasn't until I started going into this mentorship program, being around other kids, because prior to this, I wasn't around a lot of kids. I was
00:01:52
Speaker
transfer out of schools. I didn't really have a lot of friends, so I was really lonely. But when I got into this mentorship program, I started finding my belonging. And what I realized is that me helping them was for my benefit as well. We all connected through pain, and I was helping them through what I was going through.
00:02:10
Speaker
and life and I started transitioning to this world where I want to give back because there are a lot of individuals out here who are lonely and depressed so with anxiety don't really know their purpose in this world.
00:02:24
Speaker
where I have low self-esteem and have low confidence and want to do better but don't know how to. So I started really challenging myself in college to be the best individual I want to see in this world, which led me to 2022 when I started my own business called Relentless Phoenix, that the life coaching business and inspirational speaking and keynote business, where I'm going around and just helping individuals or a client of mine really manifest what they want and overcome their adversities and don't let their diversity become them.
00:02:53
Speaker
So my message is all about giving back and just loving yourself and being the best human possible.
Impact of Mentorship
00:03:04
Speaker
So how did you get the strength to ever open up about your inner struggles with these mentors? Because that must have been a very difficult and traumatic situation. How did you sort of
00:03:19
Speaker
come into yourself to where you could open up and begin to discuss that. Am I referring to my mentorship or when I was mentoring? So, um, I'm thinking more in general because when you go through that level of trauma as a child, you know, growing up, like, I mean, it must be hard talking about that in general, you know, and where does the strength come from to finally open up?
00:03:51
Speaker
So when it comes down to my sperm donor, that's what I call home. The one who abused me, it took me seven years to open up. This happened to me in middle school. I didn't open up until I was in college. So it took me about seven years to open up.
00:04:05
Speaker
did a lot of self-sabotaging during that whole period, trying to fill that void, just trying to get away from the darkness. A lot of things I was doing to myself that wasn't good. When I was in college and I started being around others, I realized everyone is going through a struggle. It may not be similar to mine, but everyone is going through a struggle. And when I saw that I was helping individuals with their struggles through what I've been through, because it's
00:04:31
Speaker
is great to know that someone to empathize with you rather than sympathize. And that's what I saw. I felt belonging and helping them because that's one of those individuals that have to go through depression and anxiety. After college, I started getting more involved with individuals because my background was in social work.
00:04:49
Speaker
So after I graduated and I started having clients or consumers or customers or what have you, and I started doing social work, I realized there was a great need for everyone to share their story. Everyone feels like their events are isolated events and that they're going through things alone. They're going through their struggles alone and they don't know if anyone can empathize and really feel how they feel and be that ear to listen to them. And I was one of those when I was in social work.
00:05:17
Speaker
I didn't really feel about my belonging, my purpose, because I felt like my story was helping individuals rather than my work as a social worker was helping them. So I started doing a lot of mental challenges, the mental work of growing deeper and challenging my negative thought process, challenging how I saw the world, my perspective, and how I saw myself in it.
00:05:44
Speaker
After I did all that, it also gave grace to my mom who emotionally and abused me. Forgiveness gave grace to myself. Allowed myself to lean into those thoughts and allow myself to get out of those thoughts by understanding that I'm far greater than those negative thoughts. It was a challenge. It wasn't then happen overnight. But I got to a period in my life where I internally was okay with what I went through. And that helped a lot because I wasn't at first. That's why I never
00:06:14
Speaker
up about the things that I went through because I wasn't internally okay. So I got to a point where I was internally okay with it because everyone is going through something. So I have no reason to feel ashamed about what I went through. I have no reason to be in a victimhood. I could always be in a victimhood and that's where I stand on because it's really important for me to be okay with what I went through because everyone is not. So I want everyone to see that on the other side of leaning into your pain or your situation
Helping Others and Mutual Benefits
00:06:41
Speaker
comes a blessing, and it's called peace. I want to be wholesome in my life, and I want to be happy, and I don't want what I've been through or my experiences to change me, because that's what's going on with humanity now. We're getting changed to our past, not trauma, not pain, and no one's overcoming it, and that's why the world is the way it is now. So if I can encourage someone to be okay with their going through, then that's one less human that life didn't take away.
00:07:13
Speaker
that was very powerful and you know I could really understand now why you have such you know a purpose and a direction in what you do and I can understand you know where you got that initial strength and you know I'm just curious now when you help these people who in particular um did you help and
00:07:39
Speaker
What did you actually get out of it? And what did they get out of it too? Because I think it's important to know kind of the effect that you have on people too, because that probably makes you feel better about yourself too. And you can help people who are going through those things too. So could you maybe elaborate on a bit more of those situations where you were helping other people out and kind of began to build that circle? Yeah.
00:08:08
Speaker
So the individuals that I help come from trauma background as well, depression, anxiety, fear, doubt, anger, frustration, name it. They come with a lot of challenges, mental challenges. And even in my state of life coach, I kind of tackled those mental challenges and challenged those thought processes. And even before I even knew I had a gift, I knew that I was helping. And that was my ultimate goal was just to help because no one helped me.
00:08:38
Speaker
and I know what help feels like and I know that if I can give that to someone that would make a chain reaction domino effect one domino fall another will fall therefore in my mind I can be very biased with this but I do believe in utopia that we can't have this this this world where we can make mistakes
00:08:57
Speaker
but no one can judge us or we can make mistakes and we're okay with that and it's not and we don't have this embarrassment of all the dark secrets that we have in our closet and try to hide them so many times. So when I do help these individuals, the overall theme that I get when I help these individuals is the
00:09:15
Speaker
the epiphany of it all, like wow, that all moment, that's always what
Approach to Life Coaching
00:09:20
Speaker
I get because sometimes we could be always in our own tornado and it takes just that one individual to give you a different perspective in life and that tornado is not a tornado no more, now it's a rainbow or it's the sunshine after the storm now because now that I came in looking on the outside in, I give you a different perspective, a way to think about something that you probably never ever thought about
00:09:40
Speaker
so you have that aha moment or that oh wow I always get that a lot like I never thought about it that way we always don't we always in our life situations we don't think outside looking in because we're inside of it so we can't possibly think that way so when I
00:09:56
Speaker
intervene and I stopped the negative cycle of whatever is going on in their life is put through a different thing we all go through but when I stopped that cycle it helps me as well because once again I could be biased but I personally feel as though when I help an individual it's helping me too there's one less negative individual in this world there's one less hatred in this world
00:10:16
Speaker
There's one last something, because I do have daughters. I have two amazing children. And I help them to be the best humans they could possibly be in this world. And me being a life coach, if I'm helping other individuals that I can connect with and say, hey, you have a friend in me, you have someone that probably never told you they love you, or probably never say that you got this. So you have that in your ear versus all the negativity that's around you. So I am that light in the tunnel for some people that won't.
00:10:43
Speaker
to pick themselves up and that's the next thing I can only do so much so when an individual actually wants to meet me halfway and say hey I want things to change in my life then that we were halfway there because it takes the individual technology once they change before I ever arrive I can't say hey I think you need to
00:11:00
Speaker
you know, fix that situation, look into it deeper, but if they're not there with maybe I should or be open-minded enough to look at it, then it's kind of null and void. So I'm just really that support system for that. And it does help me out because now it's like, all right, I don't have to think about this individual anymore as somebody that I have to
00:11:20
Speaker
think about it, they're going to have a bomb threat at a school or they're going to do a human sex trafficking or something like that. That's how I think. I think that there's certain individuals in the world that mentally are really messed up. And I feel like when I do help, at least one, that's my mantra, one human at a time. And I feel like if I do one human at a time,
00:11:38
Speaker
that I would get that utopia type of feeling in this world because my kids need it, I need that, you need that, everyone needs that.
Balancing Roles and Intentionality
00:11:46
Speaker
And when I do that, I really do feel good about myself because as one less human, I have to worry about because now that domino effect where I please planted that seed inside of them, that they can take something that I helped them with to build a foundation, build that roadmap for themselves to get through.
00:12:09
Speaker
Do you think? Well, here's a better thing. Your kids obviously, you know, they remind you of yourself, but do you like that about them? Do you like seeing parts of yourself in them? And what qualities do you think might need to be improved or changed?
00:12:34
Speaker
as they grow up. Do you think they remind you of yourself when you were younger and you needed to overcome those obstacles as well?
00:12:42
Speaker
So I've been a lot of emotional resilience within my kids. My kids are very young. My oldest is eight and my second one is her birthday is actually today the 30th. She's two. So I don't have older kids. However, what I have started to do is build up their emotional resilience because as kids, they do go through things, you know, bullying or being teased or whatever the case may be.
00:13:06
Speaker
So I start early with their emotional control over the environment. And that's really important because kids don't have, at that age, eight, don't really have emotional control over the environment. They'll have a fit in a heartbeat or a last shower, whatever the case may be, because they don't understand how the world works. So I talk to my kids 100%, even a little one, because I believe babies understand more than any adult would. That's just me. So I talk to both my kids.
00:13:33
Speaker
and explain more than eight year old because she has more of a conscious awareness of her environment. So I speak to her about a lot of different things that are going to happen in this world. I also speak to her how she can move and adapt into this world and how she can be her best authentic self without
00:13:51
Speaker
being bullied or without being pressured into a lot of different things because she at that period where you know the outside influences kids and she's very gullible, any child's a very gullible at that age. So I try to do the best I can with building her confidence up.
00:14:07
Speaker
gave her that emotional resilience and also gave her that room to be herself. Sometimes we lost track of that as we got older of just being ourselves. We wanted to be so much when we were little and then the world hits us. And then now we have to go into the corner and adapt again and come back out and fight what life has. So I do the best I can with that. And as far as when it comes to
00:14:28
Speaker
some of the traits that I have and how it should go down to my kids, I do see that. I do see that a lot. I don't know what the fruit is going to bear from that, but some of the things that I do see is there
00:14:42
Speaker
my daughter advocacy when it comes to speaking up for herself. I admire that a lot, but on the negative side of that, it can be of a sassy nature and that's kind of how I am. As you can see, I'm very passionate about things that I say and I mean what I say when I say them. So my daughter has that trait because she sees how I approach life. So I do have to adjust the tone of
00:15:07
Speaker
how passionate she say things and how passionate she see things. But she's very smart. My daughter is so intellectual. I homeschooled her because the school system sucked. I homeschooled her up until possibly a year ago when
Personal Growth and Resilience
00:15:19
Speaker
she was in first grade. So I homeschooled her a lot and made sure she had the academics down. And then I started with how she can mature through her age, age appropriately mature through her age in order to
00:15:33
Speaker
be like me because she does want to and that's the sweetest thing ever and i love her for that she wanted to be like me so i try to lead by example um you want to be like me where there's well there are certain things that
00:15:43
Speaker
needs to be curved there's certain things that need to be highlighted there's certain things that need to be you know tinkered with you know can't you just can't go out there and do things the way you want to do them so i do teach about the rules of law and attraction and things like that and your energy and spirituality so she she meditates she do a lot of things that i do so i guide her as much as i possibly can but i do understand life and how the outside world can influence her so as much and we have a great relationship which
00:16:12
Speaker
which helps put me when it comes to me happen to mow her the way I see her to be the outstanding human being that she is. So I do those things. And yeah, it's turning out to be great so far. Excellent. And going back to you, how is it like balancing your lifestyle as both a mother
00:16:39
Speaker
and also a coach, counselor, influencer. How do you sort of balance these two lifestyles and also take care of yourself as well and maintain all that? Yes, so.
00:16:59
Speaker
I don't see it as being different lifestyles because what you see here is what I'm in off camera, passion what I'm passionate about. I love to get back regardless of I'm on camera or not.
00:17:13
Speaker
I don't see it as being different because everything, all the many hats, I try to put them aligned up to each other. Every spiritual, everything has to have a purpose. Everything has to have a meaning. Everything has to be intentional. And that's the kind of way I work it out. So if I'm an influencer, I'm also a influencer in my life. I empower myself.
00:17:33
Speaker
If I'm an influencer in everybody else's life, I just included my kids. If I'm an influencer in the community, I'm an influencer all the way around. I'm an influencer in me, I'm an influencer in you, I'm an influencer in everybody who's around me. If it's my podcast I'm gonna be having, I'm gonna be the same thing. When I speak about emotional resilience, I'm gonna make sure everyone know their love, especially when it comes down to my kids. It's just called balance and it's called accountability and it's called being intentional. And I'm intentional with
00:18:00
Speaker
with everything and it flows in. I give myself time for myself as well. That's much needed because if I'm exhausted, then I really can be no good for no one. My kids, my business, nothing. It's all about balance and measurable balance too. I'm not lazy about the work I do because I'm very passionate about it and I believe I have a message. I give a message to my kids. Like I said, my eight-year-old, I speak to her with all wisdom.
00:18:29
Speaker
I speak to my clients with all wisdom. Everything that I touch is going to be filled with wisdom because that's how I learned. I learned two ways, either through humans or through myself. So all of it is wisdom bound and measurable goals that I set and make sure every part of my life is achieved one way or another to the goal that I set.
00:18:58
Speaker
What are some of the biggest goals you've set that you've accomplished through this day? One of the biggest roles in general is me. My self-improvement was one of the biggest goals that I can ever give myself in this world. I was a very aggressive child. I got in a lot of fights when I was little. My teacher used to call me later, I'll leave because how aggressive I was and how much fights I was again too, because I was a craft to help.
00:19:24
Speaker
because I went through a tough and traumatic childhood. The fact that I can look back at that and say, literally say, if you knew Yanae 10 years ago, she wouldn't be like this is an understatement because I've really been like,
00:19:40
Speaker
I even looked like this a couple of days ago, my birthday just passed on March 9th. So I look at, literally look at my birthday and I was like, I came a long way. Like I've sacrificed a lot. I dealt with a tough hand. I dealt with the self love and the self confidence that I have.
00:19:58
Speaker
That wasn't through no one else. That was through me. And that's not taken lightly at all when it comes to overcoming your obstacles, because a lot of individuals can't overcome the obstacles. You've got suicide attempts. You've got a whole lot of issues. So to overcome the obstacles that I had to overcome and can be here with a smile on my face and have children, because I did suicide attempts. I want to have the two bright, smart children, beautiful children that I have now,
00:20:24
Speaker
or have my podcast coming, or it can be a keynote speaker or inspirational speaker if I gave up. So I give myself a tremendous pattern in the back and be my own support system because I didn't have that. I didn't have a whole bunch of naysayers. My firm donor, the one who abused me said I wasn't going to amount to anything. I wasn't going to go graduate high school or college. And I was going to have kids even before I reached college. So many kids after I reached college, I was negatively influenced a lot.
00:20:50
Speaker
I didn't have a lot of elders that could speak life into me. So to get to this point, to have self-love, to have my dignity, to have my self-confidence, that's a tremendous feat to face in itself, especially in this world where we have social media and in the Kardashians and all this, which ways of trying to exclude you if you're not fit to this type of standard. So even my body image, there was a lot of things that I had to overcome
00:21:18
Speaker
a tremendous, tremendous hill, tremendous mountain to get to the top. So I would say that's my ultimate goal.
00:21:25
Speaker
that I would say hangs down that I'm extremely proud of because I can look in the mirror and say I love myself through all of it and lean into those pings and be like,
Client Criteria and Coaching vs Therapy
00:21:36
Speaker
you know what? It didn't change me like it did before. I could speak about the things that I went through and feel great looking towards the future because I'm not chained to that stuff no more like I was. I haven't abused alcohol like I was.
00:21:50
Speaker
I'm not hurting myself like I was. And that's a great thing because now I'm in a wholesome environment. I have two children that I'm not neglecting, I'm abusing. Things could be very sideways. The wrong traits that I could have made could have had me 60 under or something like that.
00:22:05
Speaker
you know even just be here today I'm grateful because I have a message and a message is not to give up and that message stood with me throughout the test of time and I can't you know be be I don't know what the word is but I'm just beyond grateful that I can be here and share my story because I don't know where I would have been to make a different decision of giving up and let my over end up my life overcome me I overcame it
00:22:35
Speaker
How do you advise that other people overcome their obstacles? Is there a strategy? Is there a game plan? How did you sort of give guidance to others? So certain things that I say, it depends on what those obstacles and adversities are. One of the things I say is the future is never here. The past is already gone. You only have this moment.
00:23:03
Speaker
So don't let your past change you to a moment that hasn't happened yet. So if it has happened already, it's not here anymore. It's not changed to you. Don't be mentally changed. So stay in a moment. Look towards right now. Don't look to the future and say, I don't have. That's coming from a lack of inadequacy.
00:23:20
Speaker
Don't look to the past saying I lost. That's coming from a lack of inadequacy and void. Be right here in the moment. What do you have now that you can use to build your stepping stones to get to that foundation, that strong foundation that you wish to see in the future? You have to plant that seed now. You can't wait for the seed to drop out of the sky. I wish that would happen. I prayed every day when I was religious to have a seed fall from the sky, have something fall from the sky to help me. But no, the only thing that's going to help you is help yourself.
00:23:48
Speaker
So if you want that happiness, then want it. Don't just say you want it, and then expect somebody to come do it for you. That's the thing that I had to say to myself. The devil got me effed up if you think my life is going to overcome me, and this is going to be it. My story is not done yet. And the devil is you. The devil is you. The devil is your little negative side over here, your little demon that talks to you about the negative things, the bad images, and you had your good one.
00:24:17
Speaker
And my bad side, we all have them. We all have the bad side. Got me effed up if I'm going to lean into that. We all have choices. Every day we have choices. Every day you wake up, you have a choice. Are you going to choose to be happy? Or are you going to choose to look on the negative side of things? What you want to do? The choice is yours. You can say the external, you can, but the choice is yours. So what do you want to do to get on the right foot in life? That is all about you.
00:24:53
Speaker
So from what I could gather from all of this, we're basically saying here that it's important to take responsibility in life. Yeah.
00:25:03
Speaker
Yeah, take responsibility in life is the accurate thing possible. And not only responsibility, also grace and forgiveness. Because we can say, I messed up something. But then after you messed up and you acknowledge you messed up, what are you going to do about that? Are you going to forgive yourself and move forward? Or are you going to hold yourself hostage to something that you can't not even control? Or are you going to do whatever you can every day you wake up to fix that? And if it can't be fixed,
00:25:33
Speaker
Are you willing enough to have that emotional resilience adapt to that life situation and move forward and do better now that you learn better? And that's the thing too with me or with anyone I would say is it's all about learning. You can have a responsibility, you can have accountability, but did you learn from it though? Did you learn from what you went through? Because you didn't learn from it. You saying that, okay, I get it. It's not going to help anything because if the universe is going to come back around, that's what we do. If I'll come back around and we're going to have that same situation again,
00:26:01
Speaker
And it's going to test your, hey, I get it. And if you didn't get it the first time, then you would expect to have it again, again, again, until you get it. So that also plays a major role in life in general. Do you get what you just learned? You would recognize it, but have you learned it?
00:26:33
Speaker
When you run your business, imagine you have a pretty big niche and you have certain preferences on certain people that want to work with you. So I'd imagine every coach has their little preferences on what specific clients they want, what specific clients you would want.
00:27:04
Speaker
But coaches sometimes will turn down clients as well if they don't fit that specific criteria. So my question kind of is, you know, what's your criteria? Are there certain clients that you won't take, certain clients that you preferably take? Yeah.
00:27:23
Speaker
Um, so two things I only require, um, because I believe I can help anyone who's willing to help, but that's the first requirement. Are you willing to do the work? Um, life coaching is not about, um, holding a hand. This is not a, this is not a holding hand session here. Um, that's what therapists to go through and hold your hand. And that's something that I'm not with breakments to.
00:27:44
Speaker
So the second point is if you need medication or you need this, life coaching is not that. Life coaching is on the ground measurable goals that you're going to achieve the moment you walk out of my session. It's not big goals. It starts with small goals. But the two things that are required is your willingness to have the will to do it.
00:28:04
Speaker
because we always can say, I'm willing to do it. And it's like, oh, I didn't know it takes all of that to do it. Well, I don't want you dead. Not to take that back. It's not that I don't want you. I would love to have you. But if you're not willing to do the work yourself, I can't force you to do the work.
00:28:20
Speaker
So there's no point in wasting either one of our time with you paying me or anything like that. If you're not wanting to do the work, I don't want to waste your time. I don't want your money. If you don't want to do it, your money can be spent elsewhere on a therapist. Maybe if that's be the case, all I'm doing is I want to help you help yourself. And if you're not willing to help yourself,
00:28:40
Speaker
Then it's not going to work out, which makes me to option two. We can they all day long, but I'm not a therapist. I'm willing to hear you out. I've been seeing is very important for the soul because we need to cry it out. Sometimes we just curse it
Business Growth Strategy
00:28:54
Speaker
out. Sometimes we didn't have the frustration. Sometimes we need to repeat it thousand and one time to see how silly it sounds. Sometimes we just need to fix it out. Talking is fine after talking.
00:29:05
Speaker
Are you willing to sit with me and start making these measurable, attainable, actionable goals? I'm not a therapist.
00:29:13
Speaker
I'm not a therapist at all. So if you need medication, all means go ahead and go through insurance or whatever have you and go get the help that you rightfully deserve the need because you deserve that. But if you're just willing to just want to talk, I don't want to do that. I don't want to talk because you can talk to a friend, you can talk to somebody, but if you want to vent and like, okay, I got my, I got it out. I didn't need to just get that out real quick. Now, all to the next thing. All right, then then we can do that.
00:29:36
Speaker
But as far as age limit, I don't do anyone that needs a parent signature because these are actionable goals that we actually need. So college, age, and plus, by all means, when it comes down to high school students, I will go in. I will do workshops. I will do situations like that. But when it's talking about actionable goals, you need to be responsive enough to do those actionable goals without being handheld out in the world.
00:30:08
Speaker
Yeah, you know that that's all really true and you know that that's that's so important, you know, because
00:30:17
Speaker
I tend to find too that, you know, I think with coaches, people think that they're more psychiatrists when reality, most coaches these days tend to be more like consultants in the fact that they're focused more on teaching you a very nice set of skills to improve in life. And it's very, very, I think what you're trying to say is let's keep things logical. Let's get things done and let that be that, you know? Yeah.
00:30:46
Speaker
Now, forgive me if I'm wrong here, but I find it's interesting that you're saying that because I would imagine, you know, a more male-oriented coach would say something like this, but you're saying it, you know, because I would usually imagine in these types of environments, there's more of this, we go as a group, we vent together, we talk about our issues.
00:31:09
Speaker
But that's a different question that I'm kind of falling into here accidentally. But do you do any forms of group coaching?
00:31:18
Speaker
I do. Most of my clients prefer one-on-one because they get the bang for their book. They get the most time with me versus sharing the time. That happens once a month. If I can get a collector to be okay with sharing their stories, then that's fine. We can do that. But most of my clients just want a one-on-one time because they see the more value of
00:31:42
Speaker
a one-on-one approach versus group. The group is beneficial. Our preferred group like a once a month meeting type of thing where everyone can see that
00:31:55
Speaker
Our stories are very vastly different, but it's similar in how we interpret them. Hey, you know, life sucks. We can all agree that life sucks, you know, but it does come in different details. And I believe group session does do a benefit because you can find a community in pain. You really do believe it, just like it happens when you go to a birthday party. But if you're in a room where you do the same thing, you have a community there in the room where everyone gather around each other. So happiness or pain, you find a community and having a support group
00:32:24
Speaker
That's what it is. You're supporting each other. And I think both of the beneficial, but my clients prefer one on one session. So most of your clients prefer one on one. You know, that that's interesting because I generally hear that a lot of coaches do like one on one more often, especially if it's the forgive me if I'm wrong, but especially if you're dealing with a lot less people.
00:32:51
Speaker
I usually think of these big time coaches, I think you know who they are, but they usually have these audiences and they'll present and they'll talk to them and they'll assume the role of almost a speaker. But speaking, that's a big thing, especially public speaking. And I think coaches tend to have lots of different outlets to do their work.
00:33:18
Speaker
So what's your outlook? So from what I understand, I think you mentioned a podcast before, you mentioned coaching. Some coaches, I know they also do, you know, keynote speaks, they do webinars. What are your mediums that you kind of get your brand out and your message out?
00:33:38
Speaker
So most of my brand comes from social media. My Facebook, Instagram, and now my TikTok is also spraying up. That's a new one I have. So basically comes from there. As for keynote speaking, I'm actually new to it. I decided recently that I wanted to keynote speak.
00:33:59
Speaker
only because my kids are older now and I got support system where I can travel. So I'm like, you know what, let me do Kino speaking now where I can travel and meet a bigger audience, especially if I'm in New Jersey. So go to California or go to Florida, go somewhere I never have been. And they never, they don't know who I am either to get that
00:34:20
Speaker
to get that, that the extra base. So not necessarily keynote speaking now. Well, I am like I said, it's new, but I do have to, you know, push more for that. But I'm, I'm just, so we just said on the podcast right now, which is probably the speech podcast coming out next month. So I'm focusing more on that to get the more awareness out to have the backup for the keynote speaking though.
00:34:44
Speaker
But I am doing that as well. As for webinars, I have done them. They're frequent. My whole thing is my clients now more than the webinars. But I do love a good webinar because then I can meet a massive audience as well. So that's pretty cool because I get Q&A sessions as well. And they can ask the questions. And I can get the answers they need and everything like that. And I can build audience from that. That's so true. And again, you're an online business owner.
00:35:13
Speaker
kind of this whole idea of coaching, there's this idea of scale. How much can I expand the business? Am I expanding it too quickly, too slowly? And that idea of being patient and just working with the clients that are important and not going too fast and scaling too quickly.
Podcast Plans and Utopian Impact
00:35:35
Speaker
It's such a smart and introspective approach to the way you're doing things. And I just find that really impressive, but I'm just jumping off of a guess here, but why is it that you focus so much on just clients specifically and you don't really break off into these areas or more areas, like books and speaking right now and those other areas? Because I could imagine you have a great message
00:36:06
Speaker
So I do have, I am an author. I do have a book called Manifest Your Canvas. It is on Amazon. It speaks about emotional resilience, internal and external factors, and tips and tricks that you can use today to implement life, to be a greater, better human. So I do have that. Definitely check it out. It's an awesome read, easy, family read. I do have my own stories in there as well, my life history and stuff in there.
00:36:31
Speaker
Get some context as to why I put the things that I put in there because I use those tools as well So in my everyday life, so I am I am an author so I do get some gigs off of off the book I do in my community to they have different things for office to come out and share their their books and stuff So I do get clients from them. So I do get them. I focus on One human at a time, like I said, that's my mantra only because
00:37:01
Speaker
I really get to horn and tune into really what is needed for them. I personally feel like webinars and out there is great as I'm doing a podcast so I can get more of a base. But when I'm actually with them one on one,
00:37:20
Speaker
I don't know, I think I said go back to the beginning how is is on the fulfillment for me to actually see them actually helping like visually see I'm actually helping someone because I can see better knowing I actually did it. And I could be I don't know narcissistic thinking me to actually have to see that, but
00:37:38
Speaker
It is I do have I do want to see that I'm actually helping individuals because I believe it's like I have a purpose in that webinars or anything that I have done that was collectively done as a group I get so hey, you know, I get comments. It was really good. It was that neck, but I don't know to what extent I
00:37:57
Speaker
my help serve them because it's a very vast and big audience. I know I did well. I'm getting the feedback that I'm doing great. But to what extent I'm helping them, I don't know how much the seed that I have set inside of them or in a psyche or whatever actually set. But when I'm actually one on one with them,
00:38:16
Speaker
and I get to ask them, hey, well, did you implement this? How did it feel? And I get to hear, yes, what you did was great. It actually influenced my life. I want to hear that. I want to hear that something I have given them that worked for me actually helped them. And now that I'm, it bears fruit and I can now say, hey, now you can live healthy and healthy. Happy
00:38:38
Speaker
Now you can live happy and healthy. That's what I say now you can live happy and healthy because I'm actually seeing What is doing versus me being a webinar and saying hey, you know, it was great Well, how great was it did it really help you the way it needs to be help? Are you sure? You know and then I get the whole well if you need additional help then you can come to me and then you know That's how I get those transitioning. I'll have those clients though But to actually have them one-on-one for me personally everyone else has their own thing but for me personally
00:39:08
Speaker
I don't know I enjoy the one-on-one I do enjoy those those conversations of really getting the going on the ground and getting a run and actually doing it um that's just me I'm maybe I'm although I'm maybe an extrovert when it comes to I want to help I'm very introvert when is and it comes down to did it really help you well among the world of coaches I think you know the very big environment just like podcasting and I think it's really important in that environment to stand out
00:39:37
Speaker
And this is your unique way of sort of standing out. And I can respect that. That's a good thing.
00:39:47
Speaker
No one really sees that funny thing. I'm like, that is my, that is my thing. Like if I could, if I can really capture using empathy and really capture their hearts to know they actually have a friend, not just someone who wants their money, they actually have someone that they can count on. That's how I do relationships and keep the relationship strong and just don't take, treat them as a number, actually as a human. It's a human.
00:40:19
Speaker
That's a big thing, you know, and again, that goes back to that idea of authenticity, you know, and that idea of treating people like they should be treated again, you know, this is all great stuff. And I can imagine, you know, your kids look at how you run this business and
00:40:37
Speaker
they could learn from you from some respect on how to be entrepreneurs too. And that's such a rare privilege for them because a lot of people don't really have that access to a parent that's running a business and doing well with the business.
00:40:53
Speaker
Yeah, my daughter wants to be a podcast and not because she sees me on YouTube. And she's like, well, I want to do that. You know, I want to tell everybody their love. I want to tell everybody that they got to forgive themselves. I want to tell everybody that they want to make it. And I'm like, yeah, you will. You definitely will. And I'll definitely help you with that. So yeah, my, my, my oldest, like I said, is definitely trying to
00:41:16
Speaker
you know, stay in my shoes. And by all means, please stay. Just not, not in my shoes. You get the size I have, but not my shoes because you walk your own story. I don't want you to be just like me. It could be similar, but don't be just like me because then you walk into my, my story and not your own. So I do try to mold her to be herself by trying to take from, take from me. What I tell her is take, take certain personality traits I have and certain behaviors, but don't be me because I'm me and you're you.
00:41:48
Speaker
Yeah, you're so right. You're so right. And that's funny because it's like that with my dad, because there's certain qualities I have. We're a bit alike and my mom calls it out, but then there's other areas where we're just totally different. So it's probably like that with you too. And that's all great stuff. And your podcast
00:42:12
Speaker
That's definitely a big one too. I think most coaches, what they'll do is they'll start a podcast and then that podcast will sort of have an underlying message or an underlying tone. And the people you bring on, usually it'll be your clients, sometimes people that you're friends with, acquaintance with, maybe even your own kids. But that's usually what I could get from coaches who decide to start their podcast, maybe market their products.
00:42:39
Speaker
new things like that. So what are you going to actually use your podcast, for example? To save the world. That might not be the life of the one that I want to hear. But I do believe in utopia. I do believe that I can plan to see the hope and I can plan to see the change. It could be my social work background and believing I can start one human at a time. And it can really be a victor instead of a victim.
00:43:06
Speaker
I do believe that and that's 100% where I'm going to tune into. My podcast is going to be mixed up with interviews. I am going to have, I'm going to say call them clients, but if I have, I know I'm going to have them speak into existence. When I have my game, my followers, I am going to invite them onto my podcast just like this to answer any questions that you have. I'm going to have several of them because I do believe that sometimes
00:43:35
Speaker
We need a different outlet. Maybe don't want to go, maybe don't want to be a one-on-one and pay a client, pay me as a client. But maybe they have just one question. And they want to just have that question answered and maybe it'll be a benefit to somebody else. So I don't want to close off who I help. And I think my podcast would definitely be a benefit to that because I can reach a brighter audience that may not even know I exist on YouTube or such. And they can have a question answered, one question or two question defended one.
00:44:03
Speaker
you know, the time and everything. I am going to give enough time for those that want to have a questions answered. I am going to have interviews from, like you say, family and friends, those that I want to have on board. I'm also going to speak a lot about emotional resilience, grace, and forgiveness.
00:44:19
Speaker
because i believe those three things in account of the attention of a lot of different things but the three topics i'm really gonna speak about is emotional resilience grace of forgiveness because i do believe those three things are very important when it comes to life and how you deal with life and how you see life and how you see yourself in life because your perception
00:44:37
Speaker
of how you can adapt to life challenges is important. How much of a grace you give yourself, including others, because we make mistakes. Sometimes we're very hard on ourselves when we make mistakes. So giving grace is very important and find that peace and wholesome in your life. And also forgiveness is important as well, because sometimes we don't really understand what forgiveness is. We feel like giving them, say we forgive them somehow is giving them the right to
00:45:04
Speaker
giving us the right to feel like they are resolved from what they did to us, and necessarily that's not the case at all. You're forgiving yourself for yourself, so you can sleep better at night. You're not forgiving them, so they can sleep better at night, because if they did what they did and knew it was wrong, they wouldn't sleep better at night. What it never did to you to begin with. So we have to understand what forgiveness is and what that looks like and how they play a part in your life. So those three things I want to speak about on top of accountability and attention, because all
00:45:31
Speaker
The things that I just mentioned is the things that we should have been taught when we were younger so we could face this crazy life. But for some reason, all that was misguided and, you know, thrown under a rug. And then we went out to try to swim with the sharks. And some of us can't swim. And we were wondering why we're drowning, because we don't have the steps and stools that's needed to survive.
Maturity and Growth Mantra
00:45:50
Speaker
And those three things that I mentioned are the important things to survival. So, yes, my podcast can be a plethora of different things, but the main theme is emotional resilience.
00:46:03
Speaker
emotional resilience you know that that's such an interesting idea i think you're the first coach ever that i've interviewed that ever said those were the things emotional resilience and it's such a practical view you know yeah life is tough and you're going to need a level of
00:46:26
Speaker
resilience, like most of the coaches I've been with, you know, they've said great things, but it was never along those lines. It was usually about taking responsibility, working harder, but you really, it just shows itself, you know, emotional resilience just shows, okay, this is it. This is the next step, the next step. It's more process focused. That's what I'm trying to say. It's an interesting outlook.
00:46:50
Speaker
And I think that's interesting, but building emotional resilience is another step, and that must be a tough step as well, especially for you. I think maybe the hardships that you encounter in life, that's what helped to cultivate or helped you to deal with your struggles, that built your emotional resilience up too. Yeah.
00:47:16
Speaker
That's really fascinating. That is really fascinating. And your podcast might be focused on this idea of emotional resilience too. So you could bring on guests where they could talk about those stories as well, right? Yeah.
00:47:37
Speaker
Definitely. That's what's going to be sent to Oren because I want my podcast to be filled with individuals, humans, telling their stories and how they overcame their stories. Like I said earlier, we get so trapped up into this idea, this very falsified idea that our life situations and circumstances are
00:48:00
Speaker
Why one-off like no one else experienced it like where we're isolated and what we're going through No, that's not the case. But the world would make you that way we see everybody on social media happy smiling But behind that let that camera shot the last cameras that they did anybody go back into depression or anxiety We won't see that so we're judging based on what we see in a forefront and that vacating is fake and
00:48:22
Speaker
So, you know, coming in, have an individual say, hey, I'm letting my guard down this moment. I want to share something that I survived. And I'm hoping that someone can gain from that and learn from it and move forward and take a nugget of whatever I say to make their life more prosperous and more healthy. And that's what I'm doing. If I could start off by laying by example saying my life's up, I've been abused, I've been neglected, I've been alienated, I've been bullied, but on the other side of that I'm smiling and it's okay.
00:48:51
Speaker
And you can share your story too. And we have to be okay with sharing our story and being okay with the story that we walked through. Our journey is not finished, but we can be okay with that and share your story. There's a teenager out there that's looking to you and that story to help her how to save her day, because maybe mom and dad didn't tell her how to do it, but you on my podcast is showing how to do it. So I do believe that all of us have a journey in sharing our story. Sharing the story.
00:49:21
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Well, that should be the name of your podcast sharing our story or something You know, it's a bit corny, but I think you could kind of flip it to where it sounds good, you know, but yeah, you know I think that would be an interesting way of you know, building your Shoah, you know that sharing your stuff But yeah, you know as if we could talk about names here messages slogans and
00:49:48
Speaker
What do you think is the slogan at least for your business in your brain and maybe your life in general? Yep. So the, the one I have always loved and I created this quote myself. Um, and I took it with me because of what I've been through. And this is my, my slogan. Um, age does not justify your maturity, but what you learn from the experiences justifies your growth.
00:50:18
Speaker
And that's been my thing that I always took with me. That's been my thing I have told my clients. That's my thing I have sold my social medias. That's been my whole thing since I can remember. I think it was starting college where I created that or probably before that I created that because
00:50:35
Speaker
Everyone looked at me like, oh, you've been through a lot, but you're not showing it. It's because I learned and I adapt. I don't have the scars. I may have stolen internal scars, but externally, you're not going to see any of that. I have learned, I have adapted, I have grown from it because I recognized that I needed to. Some don't recognize that the things that are going on for them is for their good. Sometimes they feel like wildlife is happening to me.
00:50:59
Speaker
It's because they're trying to grow you. You're trying to mold you. You're trying to do something. And your age doesn't have anything to do with what happens to you. It's just life. You have to adapt, and you have to grow with it. So age does not determine your maturity. But what you learn from your experiences justifies your growth. That's what it's about.
Future Ambitions and Self-Love Encouragement
00:51:19
Speaker
Well, that is truer than ever. I mean, how many? I've met plenty of men in their 40s and 50s that act like toddlers.
00:51:29
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all the way baby. Either they're 18 year old and have a have a wise maturity and wisdom or like you said, they're 40 and they don't even know what's going on with life and try to figure it out and don't act age. No, and.
00:52:02
Speaker
There we go. Yeah. So, yeah, you know, and when we talk about this idea of building maturity, I think it's really important to also look at, you know,
00:52:16
Speaker
your business as a whole. I think a lot of coaches might have this predetermined idea of maybe how a business might grow or expand. Some people wanna get maybe into this industry where it's speaking, this industry where it's podcasting, anything, random stuff. And it could be books, like I've had coaches that have wanted to do books
00:52:43
Speaker
I've had coaches that wanted to pass their business on to maybe their kids in the future. Every coaching business will have a shift or a change in the future. It's always interesting to look at how these businesses might change or evolve.
00:53:09
Speaker
You know, so, um, I was just thinking, you know, what, where's your business going to be maybe in the next 10 years? That's the good thing about life. I don't know. I'm very spiritual. I'm going to let the universe do it for me and keep meditating that the universe got me into whatever way it wants me to God, because I know where I'm, I'm, I belong and I belong right in this moment. And whatever moment happens thereafter.
00:53:36
Speaker
I don't know, but it's pretty exciting to find out. I'm just going to keep meditating, let the universe guide me to where I need to be. What I tell my clients is the future is never going to happen. The past is not here. You only have today. You only have today. And that's all I have. And every day I wake up, I'm going to be thankful that I have this day to keep sharing my story, keep sharing the love for one human at a time, and keep moving forward. My goal and my hope, but the universe may have something different, but I am going to manifest it out there.
00:54:06
Speaker
My goal and my hope is to actually own a building where I can have individuals come in and get one-on-one help, not like therapy, but actually life coaching assistance. That's what my thing is. I actually want to, they don't come in. I'm very virtual with my one-on-ones, but I actually want
00:54:29
Speaker
to have them come in. There's many things that I want to do inside this building, but I know having a building is definitely the start of changing what I see in this world. And that's just me planning it out. But
00:54:44
Speaker
The universe is going to tell me, the universe is going to guide me. The crazy thing is, I'm always hearing, it might sound crazy, but I'm always hearing voices on what the universe wants me to do. My business fell into my lap. It's not as if I created this and I knew I was going to create this. I didn't know what life coaching was. I honestly did. That's why I went into social work.
00:55:04
Speaker
But it fell into my lap. Um, I manifested, I wanted to do more with my life and I wanted to make a greater impact. And I had, I was watching after that one podcast, I was watching, I was watching a podcast that had life coaching, being into a woman, being interviewed as a life coach, you know, say a life coach.
00:55:21
Speaker
What is that? And then that universe shows you what you are asking for. That's what I believe. The universe shows you what you ask for. I manifested and meditated that I wanted a greater impact. And life coaching fell into my life. And as I started looking into what life coaching is and getting familiar with what the end of the outlet it was and realizing it wasn't therapy or anything to do with social work, it's actually helping
00:55:46
Speaker
individuals get from point A to B, I was all for it. And that's how I started my business. And then from that, from word of mouth, from word of mouth, now I have an actual business that I'm loving right now. And then we'll see what happens from that. The podcast is coming up. This fell into my lap as well. I didn't really feel confident doing podcasts. I never was, I didn't ever like being afraid of the camera.
00:56:11
Speaker
because I had a lot of issues with my body image and self-confidence and self-love. But now I'm in front of the camera, positive and confident as ever. So I'm going to just keep moving forward in whatever direction it has. I don't want to say 10 years down the line, that's who I want to be at, because I might not be in that. All I'm going to ask the universe for and meditate what I want is to continue guiding me on my purpose and my identity. That's all I want in this world. And let the universe do the rest.
00:56:41
Speaker
with the university. All right. Well, that's excellent. You know, you know, you seem to have a really powerful and direct, you know, view of where you want to go. And, you know, wanting a building, you know, that that's a very ambitious drive. And again, I know I'm saying this a lot, but you're the first coach I've had on this show that's
00:57:07
Speaker
actually wanted to do that in the next 10 years. So that's really, really impressive. And it shows that you're very serious about this. And once again, I'd like to thank you for being on the show. You've been an amazing, amazing guest. And are there any closing words you could give to the audience here before I let you off?
00:57:32
Speaker
Yeah. Um, well, no more about me. Go to my website. Yeah. And they see.com. My social media handles. I'm sure it's going to be in the description of this thing. Please follow me, um, send some love over. And the last word of encouragement I want to give y'all is give yourself grace and love yourselves through all your pain and struggles because you deserve it. And that's it. All right. Thanks again for being on the show and I will see you all next time. Thank you.