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Weddings, Reality Checks & A Side of Chickpeas
0 Playsin 3 hours
This week, the sisters cover everything from pop culture to real-life relationships. In What’s The Buzz, they dive into shows they’re watching and introduce Moser Madness, a bracket challenge for a good cause. The main conversation explores weddings, marriage, and how modern relationships are evolving—touching on everything from commitment to generational perspectives (including Nancy’s identity crisis). They wrap with a simple, affordable, and surprisingly delicious Meatless Monday recipe: Chana Masala.
Head to threelilfishes.com/shownotes for recipes, links and all the delicious details.
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Transcript
Marriage and Divorce Misconceptions
00:00:00
Speaker
For a long time, I was thinking that 50% of marriages ended in divorce. And that actually is not an accurate statistic. So there was a time after the 70s when they had they established a no-fault divorce that divorce rate just like skyrocketed. And in the 80s, the divorce rate was 50%.
00:00:22
Speaker
But now it's more around 25 35%, depending on the age of the couple. Second marriages divorce to you're on your third marriage,
00:00:36
Speaker
seventy percent of third marriages end in divorce Really? That is fascinating. I actually asked a bunch of my girlfriends and everybody across the board said if they got divorced, they would not remarry. Like they would maybe date, but like financially there's too much going on. The kids are grown and they would love to date, but they're just not cleaning up after somebody else ever again, they're done.
Introduction to 'Three Little Fishes' Podcast
00:01:01
Speaker
And I was like, yeah, I get it Welcome to Three Little Fishes.
00:01:07
Speaker
We're three sisters who grew up in the Midwest together, but have since spread across the country. I live in Los Angeles. I'm in Nashville. And I live in Philadelphia. We are all married with children, have all had careers, but now we stay at home with our families. Join us as we share secrets and stories about being women, wives, and mothers. We welcome you to laugh along, learn something new, reach out, and join our conversation.
00:01:35
Speaker
So let's jump in.
Family Ski Trip and Sun Exposure
00:01:38
Speaker
What's up, fishes? What's up, fishes? Nice to see you. Well, we just got back from, we took a quick trip up to Mammoth to get the kids on skis with some friends of ours.
00:01:51
Speaker
And we had the best time. You guys, it was like 60 degrees skiing. The snow's melting, so I'm so glad that we went because I don't think that the season's gonna last that much longer because of warm temperatures. But Johanna has graduated from ski school, so it was a big trip.
00:02:09
Speaker
But if you're watching the podcast, because it was so hot, I didn't have anything on my face. Like I did put sunblock on and I wore goggles or sunglasses, but my lower half, like under my glasses got like burnt or windburn. So my whole lower face feels chapped and I'm like peeling, like I've been like shriveling. Yeah, you look a little crazy. It's okay though.
00:02:36
Speaker
You'll get better. so I apologize if you're looking at my like I mean, that's the burden of spring skiing, which is like so lovely. And that sun beating up from like the, you know, reflecting from the snow. It's so fun. I take Riley to the dermatologist and I'm like, please settle down. Please settle down by tomorrow. Please settle down. So she's not like, what did you do there? Yeah.
00:03:00
Speaker
You know better. Well, I'm glad you guys had fun.
St. Patrick's Day Festivities
00:03:05
Speaker
I went um over the weekend to go visit one child at school and then I got to see Kathy's middle child play lacrosse. So that was super fun. And then I have um another one of your kids here at my house right now. i Why are you seeing my kids and I'm not seeing mine?
00:03:25
Speaker
I mean, I'm just lucky. You don't live in Nashville. Nashville. Well, I think actually ah we're going to hit Nash Vegas this afternoon. so really?
00:03:39
Speaker
You never know what's going to happen. a little Morgan Wallen, let's just see what's going on there. a little St. Patrick's Day fun today. Yeah. Today we're recording on St. Patrick's Day.
00:03:51
Speaker
it will air after, obviously. But yeah, so I think we're going to hit the town and Oh, speaking of St. Patrick's Day, because we are shooting today. Last week, you guys called me lame and not fun. Yeah. So I just wanted to tell you that I did do some fun things for my kids. I hung streamers outside their doors this morning and in the bathroom. And I wrote a note and I dyed the toilet green. And I made green pancakes. So I'm not that lame. Okay. You rallied. want to say that. I'm happy. I ended up, I was going to do the same to the toilet, but my husband put the gabbas on it last night. He's like, well, he was like, Kathy, knowing you, you're going to stain our toilet green permanently. He's like, please do not do that.
00:04:37
Speaker
so Oh my gosh. The leprechaun did leave Carson a big note on his mirror this morning, but i did not he did not leave a surprise in the toilet, no. Oh, Cassie, that's like, wow, wow he doesn't crush you at all. What did the leprechaun say? What was the note?
00:04:55
Speaker
Oh, it was just, I think it was a friendly note. All right, you guys, on today's show, we're going to talk about what's the buzz, weddings and marriage, and what's for dinner. But before we get into it, I just want to please remind everybody to rate, review, leave us a note, and invite your favorite fishes to jump in and join the conversation.
Discussing 'Shrinking' and Parkinson's
00:05:16
Speaker
What's the buzz? We are watching, all of us have been watching the show shrinking. yeah um And we love it. And Where does it air? Shrinking is on HBO? Netflix. oh No, I'm sorry. not that Apple. No, Apple. Apple TV. So we watch Shrinking on Apple TV. And Michael J. Fox has been a guest star this season. Yes.
00:05:42
Speaker
Highlighting Parkinson's because Harrison Ford's character in the show has Parkinson's. And I tell you what, you guys, this past week, I was just so moved emotionally with Michael J. Fox and just the storyline. It like cut me to the core. Yeah, I felt the same. I was like, you know, he's not acting and it's really taken its toll. and But I think that that all the people on the show were saying how great he is and he is such a positive force. Yeah.
00:06:15
Speaker
that it really is inspiring, but it is kind of hard to watch. Like um there were times I was like, oh man, it has to be rough. Yeah. Well, it's inspiring in the sense of, you know, don't stop.
00:06:30
Speaker
Yeah. He's moving forward. Like keep going. that's right I think Harrison Ford said something like, You know, when I think I want to complain about something, he's just like, what am I doing? You have nothing to complain about. Like, right you just keep going. Everybody has ailments. You just keep going. i kind of i kind of like the message.
00:06:49
Speaker
and like the message. you know It's a rough All right. So also in the buzz is, you know, that show, um heated rivalry that's like about those hockey players and it's gotten all the buzz, but you know, it's books.
00:07:03
Speaker
And the woman who writes them, her name is Rachel Reed and she has Parkinson's. And so she's had to delay her release of her next book. um I can't remember when she said it was coming out.
00:07:17
Speaker
June 1st now, she's pushed it to June 1st for Unrivaled. Because her Parkinson's has acted up. And so she's trying to have to slow down. But kind of interesting. I know a couple of people with Parkinson's and it's a rough disease. And it's just, it's tough stuff. But how incredible. She's writing these books and these shows. I mean, I applaud these people. Like they're really persevering through very tough times. When you have chronic illness like that, it's amazing. Your brain is...
00:07:50
Speaker
clearly a very powerful tool in your arsenal to fight the chronic disease. Yeah. So look for her new book, June 1st. Yeah.
00:08:02
Speaker
And then you guys, I'm embarrassed to tell you what else has dropped on Netflix is Virgin River.
Binge-Watching 'Virgin River'
00:08:08
Speaker
And I'm like, I'm like, I'm off Virgin River. I'm not going to watch it. It's so soap opery. I'm not going to do it. But you guys, I i did. i like I've gotten through it all. like It dropped last week.
00:08:21
Speaker
And I have watched all of it. And they left a cliffhanger. And I'm embarrassed to tell you, i want to know what happens. So they got me. like You can't guess. It's so predictable. It's so boring. I gave up ages ago. I was like, I'm over it. I don't want anything to do with this.
00:08:40
Speaker
Cheesy. It is cheesy. So cheesy. But i got kind of hooked on it too. i used to watch it. And I think I gave it up. Last year, but then I did see it came on and I needed something else to run to. So i was like, oh, I'm just going start watching this again.
00:08:55
Speaker
Like, I'm kind of annoyed by it, honestly. Yes, it's annoying. It's so predictable. And the people are like... Come on You're better than that.
00:09:07
Speaker
I'm not proud of myself, but I am like, I'm, I'm in it. I don't know what else to say about These are the days of your life. We'll see what happens, but I'm not sure. All right. Well, let us know. The other thing I want to mention is that, you know, i told you we went on a road trip. We went to Mammoth this weekend, this past weekend. And when we were in the car, we wanted to listen to a book, but the books were too long and some of them were too graphic for the kids listening. So we found an Audible, we have an Audible subscription and we found like a modern day radio show.
00:09:44
Speaker
And we found, like, it was four hours, and it was called Trapped by um James Patterson, and it was read by Justin Hartley. Okay. And it was, like, this perfect amount of show to listen to. Yeah. And it was kind of fun. So if you're looking for something that's not a book, maybe these short audibles. I had no idea that was out there. i love that. nice that it's shorter. Yeah, kind of fun. You never get through a whole book in the car. No, I don't. And every time we take a road trip, it's like,
00:10:13
Speaker
Is that from like two years ago? Did we finish that? think No. did we leave off? Yeah. Yeah. So maybe this could be a good fit. that's why I thought I would just throw it out. People don't know about it.
00:10:28
Speaker
And then one other little thing about the buzz that caught my ear is, is that Lily Collins is going to be starring as Audrey Hepburn. They're making a movie about how they made breakfast at Tiffany's.
00:10:42
Speaker
So what do you think about Lily Collins playing Audrey Hepburn? Yeah. I love it. i I love it too. I think she'll be great. Like she's petite like Audrey is. i think she'll do a great job. They do look alike. I think she'll do a great job. That's fun. I'm looking forward to seeing that. That'll be fun.
00:11:00
Speaker
Yeah. I am too. I think it'll be good. Good stuff. um And I feel like she also is a little bit like Audrey Hepburn in the sense of I think that they both have – um challenges of an eating disorder and that, that the same look and yeah, it'll be interesting. She'll be a good fit. I like it.
00:11:17
Speaker
All right. And before we move on we know that March madness is upon us. And last year, if you remember, we Mosier madness and we did brackets. Kathy,
00:11:30
Speaker
Yes. Are we going to, are the fishes going to Mosher Madness and could other fishes join in Yes. so my vote is yes, we're doing it. so I hope you two agree, but Mosher Madness was started by my husband's friend in college and they have continued doing these brackets, it started as like a $5 entry fee, I think, or maybe even less.
00:11:58
Speaker
And now I still think it's like a $10 entry fee. It hasn't gone up that much, but they's um they, they raised money for a nonprofit organization.
00:12:09
Speaker
um And it's called kids voice out of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. And they raised about $20,000 from Madness. from mozjo madness And our friends, Chuck and Barb Mosher, also match the entries. So it's a really great um nonprofit organization. It helps abused and neglected children. So any fish can do it out there. So we'll put...
00:12:40
Speaker
the link in our show notes if you all are interested in doing it. But yeah, I mean, I think we have to put it in our socials. We'll put it in our socials and maybe we'll pop it on our um website beforehand because when it pops, this lands. Right.
00:12:55
Speaker
And you have to do it, I think, by Thursday. You have to get it in. yeah So girls, how do how do they link to our notes? How do they do it? Sign up. Go to the three little fishes.com slash show notes. All you need is an email and you get all the deets. It's worth it. And it costs you nothing. It's easy. Check it out. Go to the bracket. I think you need to fill it out today. So it is kind of short notice because the start of the tournament is today. so Get your picks in so they can count.
Modern Marriage Trends
00:13:28
Speaker
Okay.
00:13:28
Speaker
All right. Let's jump in. Weddings and marriage. How in the heck are we talking about weddings and marriage? Like what is happening? I think we started on this conversation because both Linda and I have weddings to go to and this summer.
00:13:48
Speaker
and this summer And we were both talking about it. I'm going to a black tie optional. I'm not sure. Is yours? The same. Yeah. Yeah. yeah that So fancy. You guys are going to fit. Not only weddings, but you're going to like elite fancy weddings.
00:14:05
Speaker
Well, mean, I don't know how elite and fancy it's going to be, but you know, I started thinking about weddings and marriage with, in relation to this wedding we're going to, it's a family wedding. We're traveling back to Chicago for it. um This couple has been dating for like 10 plus years. yeah And it kind of got me thinking like,
00:14:27
Speaker
Why get married? You've been living together. You've been dating. You've been together. You're vacationing. You clearly love each other. You've established this very long-standing relationship.
00:14:40
Speaker
um And so i started posing the question to people like, is is marriage still a thing people really want to do And is it valuable?
00:14:51
Speaker
And the answer is wholeheartedly, it absolutely is still relevant. It is still something people really want to do But this couple is very on trend for their population. They are waiting until later, you know. How old are they? Yeah.
00:15:08
Speaker
So I think they're in their early 30s. And I think the median age now for getting married for a woman is almost 29. And for a man, it's almost 31. So they're like right in step with their age group.
00:15:21
Speaker
Yeah. And interestingly, because they're getting married later, the chance of success or not getting divorced increases as well, they have shown. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The research has. Yeah. The research is, I mean, it's sort of interesting to think about. Well, waited. I dated for 10 years.
00:15:43
Speaker
Me too? Yeah. Tim and I like nine to 10 years. We dated a long time. Um, I got through graduate school, you know, we live together. Like, you know, I don't think that mom and dad were super impressed with those choices, those choices, but it like, it worked for us. And I, yeah I think that our foundation, our journey worked for us. And I, I always knew in the back of my head though, that I did want to get married. Like that was important at some point. And when we decided that we're ready to have a family, that was my hard stop of, I'm,
00:16:14
Speaker
i I want to have a baby and it's time to get married. So for me that that was important because I, so I'm not traditional in a certain way, but also I do have that vein of tradition. I wanted us all to have the same last name. I wanted it to be, you know, legally easy, like I'm his next of kin.
00:16:36
Speaker
i don't know. Like, the you know, I'm sorry to say, but like money and just taxes and like legal stuff all kind of get wrapped up into like a partnership right like right it's still easier to do all those things if you're committed and married no well i think it's i mean if you date for someone that long or even longer like why not i mean you already are making that commitment to that person but if like you just never to me if you never pulled the string like
00:17:13
Speaker
You could just walk away, right? I will say that I think some people's argument is I am committed to this person. i Maybe we're having kids, maybe we don't. But they would say, I've heard people have an argument of, I make a choice every single day to be with this person, not because I have a piece of paper saying that I have to be here. and for some people, feeling like they have the freedom of the choice every single day is important to them.
00:17:40
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, I understand both sides. I mean, we all have children. still have that exit, though. like Yeah. Well, you have an exit when you're married, too, because you yeah get divorced.
00:17:53
Speaker
It just is a lot messier. Yeah, it's more messy. I asked the boys that are here. I have a 19-year-old and you're a 21-year-old. And I asked them, like, do you guys think you'd ever want to get married? And they both. said yes, like instantly. They want to be married eventually.
00:18:13
Speaker
And I asked why. And they said, you know, there was for both of them, an element of spirituality and religion. Like they felt like it was very important to have like a covenant.
00:18:26
Speaker
And then also a little bit of tradition. i think they both felt like, you know, society sort of like puts a little pressure on you to make sure you are in a committed relationship. And they just like the idea of being married.
00:18:40
Speaker
So I was like, oh, that's so cute. And I wonder if some of that comes from that they also are coming from married a family that had like a married family that was you know, relatively stable, right? Like, I mean, I think we're not relatively, like I feel like we are. money I mean, you know, i mean, we're doing the best we can. We're doing the best we can. But it is interesting. I think it was like, you know,
00:19:09
Speaker
yeah I didn't want to go from my father's home to my husband's home. Yeah. It was for me, it was nice that I was figuring myself out. Like I had some growing to do for myself and learning about myself and what I need.
00:19:22
Speaker
And I think it's tricky. think it's tricky to go from your father's house to your husband's house. Well, I just think for people that get married so young, it's like they, they have a lot to learn about themselves too. Right. And then,
00:19:37
Speaker
I don't know, they're not like enjoying being single and- And I don't believe, like I think that some people say you have to get married younger because you can't have premarital sex. And I think that that's ridiculous. I'm not saying that I want my high schooler to be having sex.
00:19:52
Speaker
Please hear me, I do not. But when you are an adult and you're a young adult and you're out working and you're having healthy relationships with people, i mean, i don't think you have to wait to be married.
00:20:04
Speaker
Like, it's like you you have you have to have that journey yourself. And when you pick somebody to get married, I think it's important to have that chemistry. And if you're married and you don't have chemistry that way, that's a long time to live with somebody that you don't want to have sex with.
00:20:21
Speaker
Don't you think? Yeah, but I think the argument can be there is an element of like control. Yeah. I mean, I think there's a lot of time energy. What you mean element of surprise? Well, like if, you know, you've been with this person...
00:20:40
Speaker
For 10 plus years, it's not any secret what you're getting. Yeah. You mean because you're because you're sleeping together for 10 years, probably? Like what you mean? Like you've already been living with this person for 10 years. There's not any moment like, oh, what's she going to wear tonight? Or what's it going to be like? Or whatever. I mean, at some point, though, it all wears off, right? Like...
00:21:03
Speaker
So I don't totally understand that argument. But I don't think going out and sleeping with everybody and their brother is a good idea either. I mean, okay. Did I say go out and sleep with everybody but your brother? That's not what I said. I said that I feel like people dating, they can have, you know, relationships. So people that I dated and in college and my young adulthood, maybe they're not the same as who I would pick as I picked for a husband, right? Like you change and you grow.
00:21:31
Speaker
And you want to pick somebody that you are going to be able to grow with. Right? i think it's interesting because you are more like a, are you Gen z Is that what you are?
00:21:42
Speaker
are you a millennial? I'm not a millennial. You're not a millennial. Okay. So you're right in step with everyone else in your age group. Like that's kind of what the research shows. No, you're not a Gen They're at 14 to 29. So you're a millennial.
00:22:00
Speaker
No, i'm not. lidia You keep going into this. Am I going to get carded? That still hurts my feelings that I didn't get carded. I don't know what your problem is. I think you think you're 29. You know Listen, when I look in the mirror, I kind of jump sometimes. Okay, let me put your age in.
00:22:18
Speaker
I won't say it on the air. It's fine. So I think for a long time, I was thinking that marriage, 50% of marriages ended it ended in divorce. And that actually is not an accurate statistic. So there was a time in the eighty s after ah obviously after the 70s, when they had, they established a no fault divorce, the divorce rate just like
Current Divorce Statistics
00:22:47
Speaker
skyrocketed. And in the 80s, the divorce rate was 50%. But now it's more around to depending on the age of the couple. And um it says today's estimates are 35 to 40% end in divorce. Second marriages end in divorce 60 to 65%. And if you're on your third marriage, 70% of third marriages end in divorce. Really? That is fascinating. I would think your second marriage...
00:23:20
Speaker
would like hold you better because you've already done it once and you don't want to go down that road, right? I mean, since I actually asked a bunch of my girlfriends and everybody across the board is on their first marriage right now. And they said if they got divorced, they would not remarry. Like they would maybe date, but like financially, there's too much going on. The kids are grown and they would love to date, but they're just not cleaning up after somebody else ever again. They're done.
00:23:49
Speaker
They're not getting married again. well And I was like, um yeah, I get it. yeah Well, that's super interesting. I mean, you never know. Like, I mean, I think saying absolutes is kind of a tough thing. yeah I was thinking about for like my kids, if they didn't want to get married when they were like young adults and they kind of did the path I did, and was like wondering how I feel about it.
00:24:14
Speaker
And I think that I would just want them to be in healthy relationships. Yeah. That's all I really care about. And then the rest is just gravy. And you just want them to be happy. Like if they're having kids, if they decide to have kids, I guess I'm old fashioned that way that I would like for them to maybe be married, but I mostly just care that they pick a partner or a that is healthy and they're happy.
00:24:38
Speaker
Yeah. You know, it's interesting you say that because i think children are the catalyst for marriage a lot of times. But like I have somebody in my life that's having a baby soon and they are not married.
00:24:53
Speaker
But interestingly, they are giving the baby the father's last name, even though they're not married. Right. So is that be it per like because he wants that?
00:25:05
Speaker
I don't know. I haven't asked the question. I'm trying to like stay in my own lane, which I know is shocking, but I don't know. i think kids I think kids do add a ah complication. All right. So the other thing I'm trying to figure out is. yeahp je You guys, can I just say one thing? I just to let you know, I'm generation X. I know. I was just going to tell you. I just looked it up. Yeah. i'm Gen X. You're a Gen X. Yeah, I should have known that, but I don't really care about that kind of stuff. But I'm Gen X. Yeah.
00:25:35
Speaker
That's interesting. And the kid thing is so interesting too, because back in the day, people got married because illegitimate children could not inherit.
00:25:46
Speaker
They had really no like legal rights. And because that has gone by the wayside, there isn't that pressure anymore to get married because of children. But you do have to button up your legalities if you're not married and you bring children into a relationship. an unmarried relationship.
00:26:06
Speaker
um You know, there's cohabitation things that you can establish powers of attorney information about, you know, financials and how things will be managed if something happens to one of the partners or, you know, and then the children are cared for. So you definitely have some legal things you have to button up.
00:26:29
Speaker
um So then the other thing I was thinking about with wedding with marriage and wedding is the
Cost of Attending Weddings
00:26:35
Speaker
wedding. And so I've had baby shower or wedding showers, and I'm trying to think about the gifts. Right.
00:26:44
Speaker
I know. That's what I'm, that's on my brain too. Like what, you know. the gift? I guess, Kathy, my question is to you before you tell me about the site for a second, if you're traveling to the wedding, if you're actually spending, if the if the wedding is not in your hometown and you're having to buy flights or drive, stay in hotels, like,
00:27:05
Speaker
that is costing you money to go support the the bride and groom, because you want to be there to support them and send them on their way. So to me, that's part of their gift, that you're going to share this experience with them. So can that be reflected in what you give them? Like how much of a gift on top of that are you required to give?
00:27:25
Speaker
I don't think that there's a tried and true formula, but like we are doing that exact thing. The five of us are flying to Chicago. We've gotten two hotel rooms.
00:27:37
Speaker
We are spending three days there. you know, it's not inexpensive for us to attend this wedding. Of course, we're joyfully doing it because we love this person and you know they're part of the family and whatever but uh yeah i mean it's pretty expensive so they have wedding registries so like back in the day i think we put maybe stuff on the invitation but now they have these websites like the knot and zola is that what it is and they can go like yeah yeah they have links to all the different like stores that they have
00:28:17
Speaker
registries with, but they're older. So it's like they have a lot of stuff. So there's not a ton on the registry. So do you get something on the registry or do you just write a check? And then I asked my friend, the mother of the groom.
00:28:33
Speaker
Okay. I talked to her this morning. I asked her that same question. Cause I was like, I see they have a registry on Zola. yeah And I saw something i I kind of wanted to buy.
00:28:46
Speaker
she said, well, Kathy, do whatever you want. She goes, i normally give money so they can buy whatever they want. no And I was like, oh, but I don't know. i I feel like.
00:28:59
Speaker
I do like giving me a gift. So I probably will buy something off the registry. But I don't know, Nancy. I mean, I definitely we're traveling, you have to spend the night at a hotel and things. But I don't think they think about that when they get their gift.
00:29:14
Speaker
I don't know. Like, I don't know. Weddings are expensive to throw. Like I was reading, it can cost a couple like 200 and some to $300 per guest, they say. Well, Kev, I don't believe the average person is spending that. I think that that is a more of a privileged price tag.
00:29:35
Speaker
I just don't believe like yeah that is what it's like across the board. I just want to get a thoughtful gift that they'll be happy with. So I feel like get something off the registry that they want. I feel that way too. remember some of the, we had gifts at our wedding and when I use them, I think of the people who gave them to us. the same.
00:29:59
Speaker
Yeah. same I might do something off these people's registry and do something special and unique just because i like spatulas are left. I'm not getting you spatulas for your wedding.
00:30:11
Speaker
Hey, it's fancy. It's interesting, like as we've talked about this topic though, right? Like it's not very cohesive. Like we've like went down this rabbit hole of like, oh my gosh, we're at the age where we're being invited to these weddings. Like, do we like weddings? Would we redo our weddings? Like would, how do we feel about our kids getting married? Like the kids yeah the extravagance of throwing these weddings. Like i I was talking to Tim about this and I'm just like, you know, we should have, should we have just eloped and just like, you know,
00:30:44
Speaker
and not And not had a party, even though we loved it. But it's like, I think about the money. Like, i we were a part of that privilege that are that we were able to throw a beautiful wedding. And was a beautiful party. It was amazing. And it was so great. But like, i would I don't know. I would not undo our wedding. I loved it.
00:31:02
Speaker
But I think weddings are getting very pricey. And it's funny that we are talking about gifts because I was like, kind of Googling it yesterday and I put in China to see if China people give China anymore you know,
00:31:15
Speaker
yeah I registered for China and I love it. but I love ours too. But young people now are not registering for China. But what came up is China the country. And it started talking about this bride price that they pay.
00:31:33
Speaker
Yes. So yeah what what they what the men have to do to get their bride is they have to pay a certain amount of money to the bride's family to get her.
00:31:45
Speaker
and it's So like a dowry kind of. Well, but it's not a it's not like land or something. It's actual cash cash. Like a cultural thing. And what's happened is over the years, it's going up in price.
00:32:03
Speaker
And they're saying the the reason is. Because their birth rates are declining. There's an imbalance between the men and the women. There's more men than there are women. Well, because they had that crazy law about baby. Yeah, that one child only law. one child rule.
00:32:21
Speaker
Yeah. And they kept a lot of them. They pointed boy babies and they were like, right so now there's a problem. So it's like, now they have to pay this hefty price and they're saying that people can't afford it.
00:32:34
Speaker
They're saying it's illegal and they're trying to like have laws against it, but they're not having a lot of success because cultural expectations. Yeah. So some people are like kind of,
00:32:48
Speaker
refuting what's going on but other people want it to change so it's interesting but it's still going on today well I mean I feel like that tracks like I mean you may not agree but I feel like the value of women sometimes is not thought of highly I feel like that's a very transactional thing which makes it kind of gross to me but yeah whatever I don't I think people need to stand up and say no But I mean, weddings are expensive.
Weddings and Spending Criticism
00:33:18
Speaker
We've talked about this a little bit. And I think, you know, I asked the boys too, like my son and your son, do you guys want to have a wedding? And they were like, yeah, we definitely want to have a wedding. But they both said they think it's silly to spend exorbitant amounts of money on a wedding.
00:33:36
Speaker
Like that's not the point. It's to get people together and celebrate. it doesn't mean to excessive thing. but think it be hard. Because like, where do you cut it off? You don't need to have like a sit down dinner. It's like, what happened to those celebrations in the basement of the Presbyterian church when all the moms, all the ladies would bring like a potluck and you'd have all those like sweet little mints on the table. Yeah.
00:34:01
Speaker
Yeah. I know. I think of mom's wedding when she like describes her wedding, like she was just like at the basement of the church. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you could do something like a modern thing. You could have like a small ceremony with just your immediate family and then you could have a party, which is what, you know, with a lot of people do like just it still have a celebration. Like that's what the boys are talking about. They just want to have a party. they will like party yeah You know, so maybe it will change and evolve, but it's interesting how, you know, or maybe they'll surprise you and they'll change their minds and say, we, you know, we're not interested. That's not our jam. Yeah. We'll see what happens. I mean, you know, you don't have to be married to be happy, right? Like, I mean, I don't think you have to. I will say one of the things I did hear a lot from my friends here, and I'm in the Bible Belt, and I actually do believe this too, is when you stand in front of all your friends, you are making a covenant with God and your partner, your spouse, and you're being witnessed by all the people that you love. And I do think there is something very important about that.
00:35:08
Speaker
whether, I don't know. So don't know. i don't know what the answer is. I know what you mean. It's nice to share it with your family if that's something you're into, but I guess my takeaway has changed since my, like, you know, my marriage might be for you, may not. I'm here to celebrate with you if you want to do it. But if you found somebody that you love and you're just hanging out with, I support that too. you like And I would love to hear- and Everybody, like California, right? I know, like, I'm like the black sheep of the family. I'm not sure why. Like, I have, like... You're not the black sheep. Come on. Don't be dramatic. You're fine. Right.
00:35:50
Speaker
I think I'm amazing, but like... You are amazing. Stop it. are amazing. um So i had a thought that I just totally lost. So anyway, I would love to hear from the other fishes. Like, what do you guys think? Are you are weddings, do you still think they're important? do you still think marriage is important? And gifts, if you're traveling, do you have to specialize on a wedding gift? Like, what what how would you how would you gift yeah if you were going to...
00:36:17
Speaker
a travel wedding or a destination wedding. yeah that would be We would like to know this.
Chickpea Marsala Recipe Discussion
00:36:22
Speaker
yeah Drop us a note. All right, you guys, what's for dinner? You know how we've been talking a lot about GLP-1 and how we can naturally kind of trick our bodies and like make them make um increase?
00:36:40
Speaker
And part of that is with beans. High fiber, high protein, yes. yeah So I've been trying here to make a meatless meal once a week. So I've been trying different things. Yeah, you've done that a long time. yeah I have. so But there are some weeks I'm better than others, but I really do try to do that just because I think it's a i don't i think I could be a vegetarian, but my family could not.
00:37:07
Speaker
um But I but tried this recipe, and it's like a marsala recipe, but it's made from chickpeas. And it's just, it's like chick chickpeas and tomatoes and onions and garlic and ginger and some broth. And you make this like yummy sauce. it's And you put it over rice and I made naan.
00:37:32
Speaker
yeah And it actually is really good. It's really filling. i put, i made it with brown rice. And um this is a newer dish that I tried. yeah And we just had it the other day.
00:37:44
Speaker
and Riley's like, what is this? yeah Because he is not impressed when I do this thing. But I will tell you that my whole family ate their whole bowl. And okay everybody, would it was filling and it was good. It wasn't spicy. And if you like chickpeas, I just don't think you'll miss the meat. So if you're looking for a vegetarian dinner,
00:38:06
Speaker
I think that sounds good. That could you use like cannellini beans or something, another white bean of some sort? I think you could. think you could. I don't know why you couldn't. And that's a super economical meal too, right? Yes. So I think that's kind of interesting as well. Yeah. When you're feeding a big family, mean, that is a consideration. And we had a little extra so we can have it for lunch. I really do feel like it's stretched. So again, I'd be really interesting to see what everybody thinks. So we're going to post this recipe.
00:38:36
Speaker
Yeah. And let me know. And I actually really, i kind of want you girls to try it. And like Linda, I think you will really like it. Kathy, I'm not totally sure, but you do like white bean. You like chickpeas. I do. Right. I think I would like it.
00:38:49
Speaker
So I would be interested for you to try it, especially since Carson's on such a health kick. So yeah let me know. Yeah. That sounds good. Yeah. I just want to say one thing before we wrap up.
00:39:00
Speaker
Yes. You know that we're all Gen Oh. We are. Not just you, Nancy. Linda and I are too. Yes. oh Oh, I did not realize this.
00:39:12
Speaker
Okay. So we're not that different after all. No. No.
00:39:20
Speaker
We're not the millennials, but... All right. Well, we want to thank you for listening to our podcast and letting us sisters jump into your day. Please continue to follow us at 3littlefishes.com slash show notes and make sure you're signed up for our exclusive content and recipes.
00:39:39
Speaker
Also, follow us at 3lfpod on social media to be part of the daily conversation. Have a wonderful weekend. We hope you sign up for Mosher Madness.
00:39:50
Speaker
Fishes out.