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Chaos in the Classroom
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This week on Tuck Your Shirt In, we talk about out-of-control classrooms, introductions gone horribly wrong, and blasts from the past!
It's a trip down memory lane — with all the chaos, cringe, and comedy you’d expect. Hit play and prepare to feel secondhand embarrassment in the best way.
📡 New episodes every week! Don’t forget to follow, rate, and share the laughs.
📢 Got a funny school story? Send it to TUCKYOURSHIRTINPOD@GMAIL.COM — you might just hear it on the show!
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Took Your Shirt In'
00:00:03
Speaker
Alright folks, welcome back to Took Your Shirt In, the podcast where we dig up the school stories that have Ofsted sweating. From dodgy dinners in the canteen to classroom chaos and even the odd rogue supply teacher, we've got the lot.
Playful Banter and School Memories
00:00:19
Speaker
You're tuned in to Took Your Shirt In with me, John Hassan, my brother Luke Hassan and our producer Scott Burrows, who's still on report by the way. Let's crack on.
00:00:34
Speaker
I thought maybe you were going say still on remand. Well, that as well. Both. could i can i have a yeah Can I have a good report, please, sir? It's up to the police, isn't it? I'd just like to say i was never on report, ever. I never got put on report.
00:00:50
Speaker
I was a well-behaved cheeky chap here.
Pranks and Humorous School Stories
00:00:53
Speaker
Well, for you, Scott, we've got one of your former teachers joining us here right on the pod right now. Your former reporter...
00:01:01
Speaker
you haven't no i can imagine i was i was i was so hyped then i was ready i was ready for you to unveil someone sat next to you oh in my loft just in your loft i've had him locked away for years it's our old head teacher he said gary linnicka wouldn't go far oh god that was his famous quote that was his famous quote i always tell gary gary linnicka ah i mean you got to love him.
00:01:28
Speaker
got to love him. He was a good head teacher. He was a great head teacher. Did it inspire Gary Linlidke to go that way? Maybe that's what i needed he needed to hear. He needed that kick. That's what he needed. You'll never go anywhere, Gary.
00:01:40
Speaker
Kick. Well, he did go somewhere. He went on the pitch. Oh God. and our like like that I He did. That is your sort of story, isn't it? It ran down his leg. don't remember. I don't never, never forget a story like that. We're about two minutes in and Luke's talking about pooing already. So it's a... Disgusting.
Social Mishaps and Neighborly Blunders
00:02:00
Speaker
I went to the zoo yesterday.
00:02:03
Speaker
know I'm switching off a bit, but is related to this toilet. um Not... not just Oh God, no. What happened? I'm just going to presume that he was going to talk about all the animals going all day and Luke just like analysing how they went. Yeah. Well, no, I'll run it i'll run it i'll run it i'll run it from the top because to fairness, really easy drive to get to the head to Chester Zoo.
00:02:29
Speaker
And from where we live, we go on one road all the way to Chester, all way Chester Zoo. Like no motorway, just a single road, which is really mind-boggling.
00:02:40
Speaker
But we were going to meet a wife's friends and and their partners. um And one of our friends had got a new, a new, a new partner and I, they told me the name and I thought, Oh, it'd be nice to like, when I meet them, go up to them and like, you know, greet them with their name. I it's quite a nice thing to do, isn't it? Make them feel comfortable. god um And I'm, I'm pretty sure now I'm, I'm, I'm dead certain that they told me this person's name was Guy.
00:03:12
Speaker
um So i'd got his memorised. I thought, oh, this lovely. I'm going to get there. you know, the group of friends, it'll make him feel really settled. So we we got there. You know, we were a little bit behind. um Well, usually like to everything, to be fair.
00:03:27
Speaker
ah Said hello to everyone else. I thought, that's nice, isn't it? Say hello to the the other person. and Then got to the partner. thought, right, here's your heres your moment, Luke. Make them feel comfortable. You know, a very good host. I'm quite a good host.
00:03:39
Speaker
You know, I'm a friendly guy. I go and go, hey guy, I'm Luke. And then everyone was like, his name's George.
00:03:52
Speaker
it And it was just so weird. He just like, because he didn't correct me at first. No, to be fair, could could it could have just been like a generic, like, yeah like hey guy how's it doing guy?
00:04:02
Speaker
That seems even ruder. obviously I was hoping he'd snap back with the old the old South back. I'm not your gab, buddy. Yeah. just seemed like i was being absolutely like i've come in he's come into the group
Comedy Show Experiences and Challenges
00:04:16
Speaker
and i'm going you're not welcome here you're not out get out get out go not approved of you just yet i'm not gonna bother learning in your name yeah hey guy i said it so loud as well because i was nervous and it was just horrible and i just saw like bright red that makes my toes curl it was awful i'm not usually too phased by these sort of things but
00:04:36
Speaker
I don't know what happened. I sit on the fence more. yeah you're very ah ah don't know what ah You're very confident at talking to new people, so I can imagine the confidence you went in with that. saying Whereas I would just avoid saying anyone's name if I had no if i wasn't even 100% sure. I'd just say hi. I wouldn't even say a name. i would i was 100% sure. I was was wrong.
00:05:01
Speaker
i think I tried to remember his name. I think what happened, I just start thinking of Guy Pearce because George is close to Guy. And then I started to think about and is it ah it's always sunny in Philadelphia. They go like, hey, Guy.
00:05:14
Speaker
When it's someone new And then that's all that stuck. It was just guys. So awkward. So awkward. Oh, it was horrible. And for the first hour we were there, just couldn't stop thinking about it. was thinking, this guy, he's come to this group with open arms to try and fit in.
00:05:30
Speaker
And I'm just like, hey, guy, yeah out of the group, guy. You're ruining the group. We had an awkward moment this year. We've been in our house like coming up to two years and at Christmas this year, we started getting lots of like Christmas cards, which like ah like previous Christmas was fine because it was our first Christmas. So we were just like two and then wrote the number of their house and put a Christmas card through the door because we didn't know everyone's names.
00:05:58
Speaker
And those that we did know, we obviously included. but We got quite friendly with a person over the road who's like just a lovely, lovely person. and Like loves loves Remus, makes a big fuss of Remus every time we see them.
00:06:14
Speaker
And yeah, this year we came to Rob, but we, we've never, like, she's told us a name and we couldn't remember it for any, for any money. And like the whole year I've just called her Jan. And then like, we were like, oh crap, what do we put in the Christmas card?
00:06:29
Speaker
We were oh no, how are we going to do this? Luckily we ah we mentioned to our next door neighbor, um Sandra, who gave us the, ah gave us the correct name.
00:06:40
Speaker
And it's, yeah, Weren't even close. It's Mary. Oh, God, yeah. That's really awkward. Really awkward. We're like, oh, shit. So we're like, oh, thank God. So, yeah.
00:06:50
Speaker
but But we know now. And it's, yeah, one of those moments where every time we saw her, we'd just like, we wouldn't avoid her. But we'd be like, oh, God, please go inside. Don't talk to us. Or like, say anything about names. Because, oh, and like, she's always someone that like led with like, hi, Scott. And I'd be like, oh, hi.
00:07:09
Speaker
you it's so awkward oh it's it's horrible it's horrible when that happens um john did you how do you had to you certainly had a gig last week because we made you uh forcibly promote it yeah it was it was full of shirt tuckers i turned up the place was packed out oh was it yeah shirt tuckers everywhere oh nice did they took their shirts in inside they were just doing it all night standing up tucking their shirts in uh how how was
00:07:41
Speaker
How was the gig? No, it was ah it was actually it was really quiet. I think because um the Rick Mayall comedy festival is on at the moment in Droitwich. Oh, okay. So it was probably quieter than normal. So you get a handful of regulars and then the other comics there. It was a very quiet room. I was trying pretty much all new stuff anyway. So it's still good to run it out. But quite often it's, you know, get the odd titter. It's a pretty silent room. If that was your...
00:08:11
Speaker
like one of your first gigs, I think you'd give up. I think you'd you'd be like... no. Give up? Oh, no. I think if you'd gone there and that was your first gig, because you're not going to get much reaction because there's not many people there. That's sort of obviously what happens. And other comics quite often...
00:08:26
Speaker
Don't laugh at... so Some of them don't laugh. Not not not in a mean way, but it's a it's like you don't find things funny unless it's different to what you do. yeah If someone's doing something similar to you, you're sort of like, oh, yeah, like it's clever. I get it. It's funny, but you don't like laugh out loud. Yeah.
00:08:42
Speaker
But I've been going there, I've been there about five or six times, I know what it's like. Sometimes it's it's really good, but it's it's it's great because it's always um it's always on every Thursday. You can always get a spot. So tried some new stuff, so that was fun.
00:08:56
Speaker
I've got some more. Some of it worked? Yeah, yeah. Some of it worked, I think. Need a bigger audience to tell sometimes. That's it. I've got loads of gigs coming in the next few weeks, though so I'll... um I'll try and slip some of the new stuff into my ah and my my main It's probably a good way of doing it, just so like it's not all completely fresh and you know that your guaranteed
Integrating New Jokes and Audience Reactions
00:09:22
Speaker
laughs are still in there. That's save yeah. yeah i I suppose you start with stuff that gets a laugh, get the get the crowd on side, and then drop a new one in and see how it goes. That's how you do it. yeah yeah it's um
00:09:35
Speaker
It's quite strange when you do new stuff because... Until you like do it in front of a crowd, you sort of don't know how it's going. In your head or like even saying it out loud at home, you can sort of guess how it's going to go.
00:09:46
Speaker
But quite often, it sort of takes ages for it to sort of evolve into a funny joke. it's ah It's a painful process, writing new stuff. we went to We went to the Glee Club in Birmingham a couple of... This is going back probably six months ago, eight months ago maybe.
00:10:03
Speaker
and And there was ah there was an act on there and it was like one of her first ever gigs... which is like the Glee Club in Birmingham on a Friday night. And I was like, and she just bombed.
00:10:14
Speaker
And I mean like properly bombed. Like it was so awkward. um Like the other people that were on were like really crude humor, like really like but quite dark humor.
00:10:27
Speaker
And she just, she was completely the opposite. And the crowd just didn't react at all. There was like, a couple of times where she said a joke and shit like she didn't get a laugh and she was just like, ooh, tough crowd and stuff like that. And I think that pushed people even further the opposite way. You don't want to alienate the crowd. so it was It was so awkward. I was literally like, because we were sat...
00:10:50
Speaker
In the Glee Club, like there were tables at the back. um And we were sat on one of those tables um because there were quite a few of us. And it was just um was so awkward. um It was just like, yeah, like no one was reacting. like the rest that And like the rest of the acts were really, really funny, and it like really, really good.
00:11:07
Speaker
um But they like I said, they were like completely opposite styles of humor to her. And she was like very posh, very, very posh. And I don't think she could... like I don't think she'd read the read the room properly and stuff. Like she was talking in like very, couple of her stories were like very posh person, like privileged. And it just didn't, yeah, it was just it just didn't come across very well. like It was awkward. It could have been just an off night or it could have, ah if if she's not been going long, she's done well to get on Glee in Birmingham.
00:11:41
Speaker
um But yeah,
Public Speaking and Embarrassing Moments
00:11:43
Speaker
I don't know. so Bombing is awful. Yeah. So you you'll come away. um It's not happened that many times, luckily. I think I've been quite lucky. But when I've come away from a gig and I know it's gone badly, it's just like, why am I doing this? like Why am I spending more why but I suppose, it's like, because obviously the ah the the actual gig is time-consuming and like takes up a lot of your energy. But I imagine just writing material and stuff. yeah I imagine that takes so long to put together, ah like a full set. Because you're not just, like...
00:12:17
Speaker
You think about like i mean oh yeah you think about like how long it takes to actually deliver like a story sort of thing or whatever. It doesn't take very long. So if you've got like, i mean, five minutes doesn't sound like a very long time to talk for, but it is still quite a long time to talk for. it And when the whole thing is completely focused on you, and it must be so difficult. I wouldn't.
00:12:39
Speaker
Yeah, no, I couldn't do it. ah like You are a very very, very brave person for doing it. It's difficult. yeah you didn' You did well at the speech at my wedding though, Scott. Oh, Jesus. No, I didn't. think It was horrible. It was absolutely horrible.
00:12:55
Speaker
um He basically told most of what I did to him in Kavos, which we mentioned last week as as as his speech to yeah so my whole family. So that was great. Do you not remember it? You were there. You were stood next to me.
00:13:08
Speaker
Was I? We were co-best men. Oh, yeah. In fairness, my baby had just been born. like previously I just remember Luke was like, luca's like ah the the week before, was like, I don't even know if I'm going to make it. He was like, can you ah have you written yours yet? And I was like, yeah, I've had it written for weeks. He was like, can you send it me so I don't tread on your toes? Sent it to him. And like three of three of my stories or like comments ended up in Luke's speech. was like, God save.
00:13:41
Speaker
Oh, really? Yeah. but sorry I know, Luke. He probably would have thought he thought of them organically. That's how he's making it. Oh, yeah. I know. Really funny. So funny.
00:13:53
Speaker
But the night before Luke's wedding, he was writing his own speech, like literally the night before. couple this is Sorry, Cass. I'm sure she knows. Oh, yeah. think she probably does already, yeah.
00:14:06
Speaker
I just think, you know, under pressure, I'm a lot better. Yeah, yeah. work lot better under pressure. Yeah. Or just rip off the other people's beaches. Right.
00:14:17
Speaker
and Oh, God. i did have something else about the zoo, but... You can tell us. We'll save that. You can tell us about the zoo. You might as well tell us now. Well, I remember now, because we were talking about the toilet, weren't we? Yes, yes. We didn't get on to what actually happened. Yeah, we didn't we didn't mention We've gone off on a tangent.
00:14:33
Speaker
I needed the loo.
Toilet Humor and Unexpected Challenges
00:14:34
Speaker
I needed the loo. We'd had a heavy curry week. We're doing lots of walking. Oh, God. A have? Just had curry every meal, every day. Three times a day. Two or three curries, and then we had chips before. So I did need the loo.
00:14:53
Speaker
orange Orange chips or like standard chips? not this week. No, no orange. Just standard chips this week. Orange chips are bloody good, though. um And I really need the loo. There's only two loos in this block.
00:15:06
Speaker
The first one, looked like a massacre in there, so I was like, I can't deal with that. The other one, look clean, no light in the toilet. And it was like, you know, and it's like completely concealed as soon as you close the door.
00:15:18
Speaker
Walked in and I thought, right, going to have to get my torch on and this is going to be horrifying. First of all, no toilet roll. I was like, oh Jesus, I can't. So I went to the other one quickly, grabbed loads of loo roll, went back into the other one just with the torch on, trying to go to the loo. And I was like, I don't like this at all. This is really difficult.
00:15:36
Speaker
And then it wasn't too, you know, I did my business and then trying to get out, I couldn't like, I got stuck. but I couldn't like, I'd sort like climb on the toilet to get out of the door.
00:15:49
Speaker
was like, how did I get in here? i couldn't like quite get out. I was just getting more panicky. Yeah. Anyway. That's my toilet story. That's the end of the story. the end of the story. I mean, as as as your toilet stories go, that one was fairly tame. I'm just going to cut that out of the party. I had a similar, um ah not got quite similar, but when I, think it was like one of the first days I went to uni, I really needed a toilet and i was like, I'm going to go in the library.
00:16:18
Speaker
Went downstairs in the library. Nice and quiet. Yeah, really quiet. And a this I went what sat down, did my business, and then I noticed there was no toilet roll. ah It was one of them like so the circular ones that they have where it's on the wall.
00:16:32
Speaker
And I was like, oh no, is there anyone in here? Because i'm gonna have to try and run to the next stall. Yeah. But as I opened the door, someone opened the door to like, oh, shut the door again and locked it. And I just had to wait. It was just like a oh patience waiting game. hopefully Was there more than one stall in there?
00:16:51
Speaker
There were two stalls. Yeah. Imagine if he was waiting for the loo. Oh, single. oh do more i think I think I would have eventually gone like, can you get me going? I would have had to just like, you could go this to some toilet paper, please. This is for your benefit as well. yeah but that's it um've I've never had that situation in a toilet. I've had to pass.
00:17:14
Speaker
I've had someone ask for something like pushed it underneath the, ah to to the next door, but I've never had it. had it where my stores never had but I do check every time yeah I do check I do i check yeah and I always have it depends how desperate I am to be fair because if you're really know like the services like we do a lot motorway driving to see family and stuff and sometimes I ran and I'm going shit what do I do
00:17:41
Speaker
Just always carry some with you. if you were Yeah, that's a good shout. Keep a roll on you. Keep a roll on me. Keep a roll on you. Have you seen those TikTok mids where um people like... They'll remove the paper in the stool next to them, go back into the stool, and then wait for someone to come in and and ask the toilet roll.
00:18:03
Speaker
And when they pass it to them, they've got like Nutella on their hands. they're disgusting. are disgusting.
00:18:13
Speaker
i've watched I watched one the other day that was like top five toilet humor ones so and there was one where the guy was like just like oh like just screaming really loudly and then suddenly he had like this brown like water as i he just so and then just like squirted the whole bottle underneath the stool and the guy in the other thing like lifts his feet and he's like bro what the That's what I was thinking of as well. So horrible.
00:18:42
Speaker
Such a cruel prank. Glad brought up the dark toilet now. That was great. Right. We'll move on. Yeah. Okay. Oh God, I need some like liquid. I'll drink the dregs of this tea.
00:18:59
Speaker
So. This, today's um story section, we were going to do something else, but this has been inspired by ah one of our friends, Lee.
School Memories and Classroom Chaos
00:19:10
Speaker
I'll just say Lee.
00:19:11
Speaker
I think it's just to say Lee, just case of his second name. One of our friends, Lee, who's such a lovely guy. um And he's sent us in, he sent us an email of memories, I think, has inspired us with memories of our school days, hasn't he?
00:19:26
Speaker
I would say he has sent us a, it's a fairly, what i would consider a fairly brief email. However, that email has led to us all thinking about stories involving this poor member of staff. I know, I know. I think before we go into it, we do acknowledge this person I think was terrorized.
00:19:50
Speaker
However, see this through the eyes of like 11 to 16 year olds for a moment. ah ah you know And that'll help us through ah through this next section.
00:20:02
Speaker
So we're going to call them Miss Smith. think it can't get any more generic than that. Nothing can get back to them. um but i like Probably still can. Yeah, if they want to laugh with us, then that's great. If they want to get in touch, please do.
00:20:17
Speaker
don't think they will want to. they have no yeah I'm not sure. course I think they might have left the profession. yeah I do feel sorry for them. ah However, you know, we did have a laugh.
00:20:30
Speaker
So, what can I say? so Miss Smith tours in the MS block, so a slightly older block. I'd say, um I think I'd be right saying it's sort like Grange Hill-esque era, isn't it? Like 70s, 80s buildings classrooms. yeah know it's ah It's an older part of the school, yeah. It's got that proper, like, boxy, single-glazed windows.
00:20:57
Speaker
um Everything looks like it was made in a hurry sort of look. It's like gray very grey. Grey with tones of like royal blue or something or like crimson around.
00:21:10
Speaker
um it's It was on the ground floor of a particular classroom. um Really hot and sweaty in there in the summer and really cold and like barren in the winter.
00:21:23
Speaker
So I hope I'm good at setting a good example. Loads of desks in there as well. Like more more desks than should actually be in a classroom. Yeah. so the ground floor is important to this, uh, to this story.
00:21:36
Speaker
So my experience, um, of being in that classroom, I was taught maths. Um, don't know it's the same for you two. Was it also maths? She didn't teach us. She didn't teach us. Okay, didn't teach you specifically. Because she didn't teach top set just as simple guy. Well, I was in top set, just to verify that. Well, I did go down to second set, and I clawed my way back up to top set.
00:22:02
Speaker
Nice. Probably should have started in second to be fair. Yeah, you would have got more done. Yeah, I think I would have done. um So, series of stories. Let's go ahead.
00:22:13
Speaker
So... Miss Smith, I think she was a nice person, to be fair. i think she just lacked the um ability to control absolutely out of control 13 and 14 year olds. I think that's fair to say.
00:22:31
Speaker
and think hu but her behaviour management probably could have done with some work. Yeah, I think it's the best way to... The best way to put it. I think she she needed some support from other members of staff more than she possibly received.
00:22:51
Speaker
so Potentially, yeah. Potentially asked for. um so I think it was a sort of ah ah choice of the behavioural management. I think if you put it in like, you know, bob and weave in, where you should it would say you should have bobbed, would weave.
00:23:07
Speaker
And where you should have weaved, she bobbed. um Every choice just escalated every situation in the classroom. She was a shelter, wasn't she? She used to just like Shouting, but then also trying the other method of like, ah like soft and talking, but would never never it was never the right one.
00:23:28
Speaker
I know a problem because i think it was the same problem when I tried to teach. is that When she started shouting, she was at the desperation stage at that point trying to calm them down. So it was already too late. ah daylight Too far gone.
00:23:40
Speaker
And then when it was the softer approach, it was incorrigible. it was just too It was never the right one. So... so I don't know where I start with this. So we had, to be fair, we had a few class clowns. um Let's call him Jeff.
00:23:56
Speaker
ah Jeff now was a particular class clown. He's such a quiet spoken person now. that's Such a down to earth guy. Very different person. But I feel like at school, he was, um you couldn't get more class clown than him.
00:24:11
Speaker
I'd say he's closer to like Bart Simpson at school. Yeah. than anyone I've known maybe because he wasn't like he was never nasty he was never never nasty he was just always clowning around that's the best way to put it think that's very Bart Simpson isn't it he wasn't the bully but he would like always go off the rails off the hinges on things So I think this particular day, and I think it always happened in in the ah in the summer months because it was so hot and sweaty in there.
00:24:40
Speaker
in the In the afternoon, the sun would beat onto these old single glass pane windows and you'd all just be getting hot. And then, you know, when kids are getting hot and they've had a run out on the field for an hour, it's only encouraged them to get more worked up.
00:24:56
Speaker
I think this particular class, um we we just, I think we all gelled really well as a unit as well. So I think we had really good unit cohesion, um which only made it much more worse. I think we had a year of people where we all were quite friendly with each other.
00:25:12
Speaker
So we took that into every single classroom. So if one person would do something, we'd all just immediately know what was tried what they what they were trying to achieve. Yeah. And I think before I get into any specifics, I need to say that there was a detention board that was set on the wall.
00:25:32
Speaker
And how it worked was, you know, you get one strike, two strikes, three strikes, you've got detention. And where I went with this bobbin weaving um metaphor earlier, again, the detention board more worked as a star chart for who could get the most detentions and the most points.
00:25:50
Speaker
So you can see where it just all went wrong every time. So well what was meant to be a deterrent was actually just spurred everyone on to see who could get the most detentions because it was done for laughs.
00:26:04
Speaker
That's just how it was. Yeah. So, and also not only was it the detention board, it was how much could the next prank escalate from the previous one?
00:26:16
Speaker
You know, it started off easy, talking, whistling, um tapping people on the shoulder, like really mundane stuff. And, you know, this was, ah I think we had, i think it was in it for two years maybe, or what, it was a year, what felt like two years being in the set, ah being in that set anyway.
00:26:35
Speaker
um It got to the point where Jeff was running out of things um ah think to think of to do the next prank. Everything was becoming too mundane. it was It was becoming too mundane. We couldn't think of more things. So I think he was looking at the clock thinking, you know, watching those hours and and the minutes and the seconds count by.
00:26:57
Speaker
and thinking, God, I don't want to do any of this maths work. Because he was very intelligent. That's the thing. He was a very intelligent person. And I think he he just got everything like very quickly anyway. Especially at maths. He was very clever at maths.
00:27:09
Speaker
So think he just got bored immediately. I think, what's the next thing I could do that would really wind everyone up? Now, no one saw this coming. I think it was like a relatively like quiet session that day from everybody. Everyone was pretty like chilled out.
00:27:24
Speaker
Until... Oh, said it now. Until Jeff jumped up, climbed on Miss Smithy's chair, took the clock off the wall,
00:27:36
Speaker
And then proceeded to do what some sort of like comic book sort of run up with his legs, jumped on the tables, ran straight over the first row of desks sort of like matrix dived out of the window onto the field outside. And then I was just brandishing the clock like he'd won first place in the F1. Yeah.
00:28:03
Speaker
Just above his head, just jaw hands like, yeah. Just above his head. And I think for a second, everyone was just in stunned silence. Like, what has just happened? This one came out nowhere.
00:28:15
Speaker
And then we all just like started absolutely losing our minds. And i I think Miss Smith just couldn't quite compute what had happened as well. And she had a bit of a, eh, eh.
00:28:30
Speaker
Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Get back out of Jeff! And I think he... I think he it might have just ran off. I think he just ran off and maybe came back through the main entrance again and then popped the clock back and sat down.
00:28:44
Speaker
I think that was the end of it. Detention! You're getting another strike! ah well you Yeah! yeah How would you handle that as a teacher?
00:28:55
Speaker
Um...
00:28:58
Speaker
ah ah what I wouldn't do was I wouldn't shout at them out the window. Like, that's the worst thing you can do in that scenario. Like, I would just let that unfold, personally.
00:29:13
Speaker
And then... I would probably close the blinds and just let them, allow that but idea and just take, take all the control out of the situation. They've got no other choice.
00:29:24
Speaker
Like they want the attention. They want the attention. So that's what I'd do. um yeah Yeah, I mean, fortunately, I worked on the third floor of a building, so yeah could no one could dive out of my window. And carry on. So once they're out, they're gone. So it's like, wow, going to deal with that. but that's the That's the thing. you like You can't do anything in that situation. You've lost the power in that situation automatically. She'd lost the power a long time ago. That child has made a decision, and there's nothing you can do that is going to stop them from...
00:30:00
Speaker
change like to change that course. but As soon as he's taken that clock, he's already decided, right, I'm goingnna i'm going to escalate this further and be there and be a class clown. it's It's then your job just to deal with that situation.
00:30:15
Speaker
I remember, ah because that must have been when we were there. So you must have been in year 10 or 11. Yeah, yeah, Because were in year 7 or 8. Yeah. Because ah I remember seeing him, because obviously you a good friends with him. I really did.
00:30:27
Speaker
knew me. Like later on that day, he was and he was just holding his detention slip like proudly. LAUGHTER I didn't know what had happened. and he just He just showed it to me. was like, have a look at that then. i was like, what? And it said he said, look at the reason. It was like detention, reason, removing the class clock.
00:30:43
Speaker
That was it. that was it That was it. Because when you got on the star chart, you'd have to write the reason down. But I didn't understand why so proud. i did say He didn't tell me any of the rest of the story. All I thought, he just walked up and removed the clock and just like, that was it. but um So did I didn't know all of that. Am I right in saying that the detention slips were like,
00:31:02
Speaker
little rectangles that were like pink. Yeah, like pink slips. Light pink slips. And they were, I remember like, I remember loads of people getting them. Like I remember um one of the lads that we had, we'll call him a Triple J. um Everyone in our year group will probably remember this person who in a maths class had a whiteboard fall on his head.
00:31:23
Speaker
Oh my God. And like, it wasn't attached at the wall. So it like, they'd taken it off the wall and it like just collapsed on top of him, smacked him in the head. And he was just like, oh my God, I didn't know what to do.
00:31:34
Speaker
And like the teacher sent him out and gave him detention for him. Oh my God. And it It was like reasoning was like, like breaking school property something. It wasn't his fault at all. ah I mean, he he probably deserved it for that scenario anyway, but oh my God, it was so funner.
00:31:55
Speaker
i have I hope I... um i hope but if if If there's any more to that story, please message us, Fatly, because I'm pretty sure that was how it went down or how of my my brain's like built that story as it's gone along.
00:32:07
Speaker
I think I remember the feeling, what it was like for us all in the room. you know You know Matilda, when Miss Trunchbull like wings that girl over and she makes it over the gate and everyone goes, yeah! I remember feeling like that, or when Bruce Bogchart eats the cake and they're like, yeah!
00:32:22
Speaker
That's the feeling I had. and um Anything else happen in ah classrooms? Oh yeah, i think i think I think that was the height of the escalation. I think if we work backwards a little bit, I think... um Well, this one was like quite a common occurrence.
00:32:41
Speaker
um be spontaneous singing. um Oh, yeah. ah Particularly... which is just it was can Was that just a one-person thing? Or was that like... yeah enjoyed yeah yeah it was like one person will start it.
00:32:55
Speaker
This is the cohesion aspect again. Yeah, this is what it is. It's the unit cohesion of the year. was just like so on point that everyone would just join in because it was funny. like well outing How did she respond to the group singing?
00:33:10
Speaker
i I think she was always dumbfound. It was like we were all in like high school musical or something. Because it it it wasn't like rude songs. It would just be people start... But like actually like they're in a musical.
00:33:22
Speaker
They'd be like, when the night has come. feel like the next time you guys get together, you need to like just film some a spontaneous singing for us. So just so we can get that picture. a share it video For the video list, it'd be like...
00:33:41
Speaker
It'd be like full It'd be like full on like Troy. Is it Troy? High School Musical. Oh yeah. I remember one person would like take the lead. It was, I can't say his name. Can I don't know to get some trouble. But one person particularly take a leave like, and the moon is done. he's like, really give it some.
00:34:03
Speaker
And i she'd just be like, I know she would, I think, I'm pretty sure be like, right, stop singing now. Please stop singing right now. And it'd just be terrible when everyone was just really enjoying a nice little sing song. i mean, what do you do to that? Like, again, would just, I wouldn't,
00:34:20
Speaker
ah ah wouldn't I wouldn't be like, stop. Yeah. Again, that's the worst. Like, especially if you've got, if you've got a group of kids who just jump on each other's bandwagons,
00:34:34
Speaker
um they can be an absolute nightmare. They are probably your worst situations. We're so incorrigible. But if you, but that's the thing. It's like, if you wind the teacher up and they get the response out of you, it's like, again, you're trying to take power away from them. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I would just, I would probably in that situation, and I'm not saying that you should ever do this as a teacher, but in that situation, I'd probably sing along with you.
00:35:02
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, that's a good idea. That's not bad. I would, and i in that way, you've got like, I've, I wouldn't I've taken the power back or I'd set up the next part of my, my lesson.
00:35:15
Speaker
I'll have you two minutes and um and then i might just be like, well, that was lovely. and Thanks for that. We'll have a chat about that at the end of the lesson. Cause then they're like, it's like that.
00:35:27
Speaker
Oh God, what's going to happen at the end of the lesson in the back of their minds. But um I mean, ah but they like that's where Waisley detention, ah like with the detention slips and stuff like that. oh We haven't said the school name before, have we? Or have we?
00:35:43
Speaker
Is that okay? We'll just blank it out. Do you want me to redo that bit again? No, we'll just beep it. So, yeah, Waisley.
00:35:56
Speaker
I said it immediately. um Just say our more ah school. school, having the detention slips. i but it doesn't That doesn't help because you you had to come back at the end of the day, didn't you?
00:36:13
Speaker
think so, yeah. yeah So a lot of schools now will do like lunchtime detentions yeah because there's no reliance on the kid. to their like And then if it is after school detentions...
00:36:25
Speaker
um so like you have like teacher led detentions where you are just in a room with the teacher for like 20 minutes of your lunch break or whatever. Um, or you're in, or as long as the teacher keeps you.
00:36:37
Speaker
So I used to do it for like homeworks and stuff. So yeah, don't bring in your homework. You get 20 minutes with me finishing your homework or doing your homework. I'll throw you on a computer in there and off you go.
00:36:49
Speaker
um when it comes to doing it as, you know, after school detentions, I'd often, you'd often run it as like a group sort of thing.
00:37:01
Speaker
um That's what we used to do. And then if kids didn't turn up, we'd then escalate and talk to their heads of year and stuff like that. But I think that's where... Miss Smith probably went a little bit wrong with her teaching. um But I mean, i like and we were talking about this before the pod, weren't we?
00:37:21
Speaker
And saying that this member of staff, so like you used to have her in the MS block, which was quite a large building oh yeah yeah for our year group. there was And i've I've shared a picture and highlighted the classrooms.
00:37:36
Speaker
They were like in the middle of the playground. ah they They split the what is like the the main school. And it was just two classrooms in there. And everyone used to do some horrible things in those classrooms. They were always the most horrible classrooms. But I think it was like Math 3 or Set 4 that used to teach.
00:37:59
Speaker
so Oh no. they ah And it was like some of the stories that used to come out. like they Everyone used to say that a classroom really smelt and like no one could ever work out why. Oh yeah. I've got to say the um the premise behind all of this was that the classroom always smelt.
00:38:19
Speaker
Like throughout all of these stories, what did the classroom always smell like? fish fish yeah heavy heavy fish yeah always felt like fish and it only added to the atmosphere I think and it just but she was on the back foot from moment one but it always felt like fish but then yeah so I don't think it was our year group um I think it was like maybe your year group or the year imagine so yeah yeah yeah um where someone came in took the uh like took the uh the vent
00:38:54
Speaker
grill off the ah the air vent and and put i put a piece of fish in there. So it absolutely reeked a fish. and She must have just been like, oh God. i'd like I think it just like it was in there for ages as well. like i think People were still talking about it for like weeks after.
00:39:14
Speaker
Everyone just said that she smelled a fish for the whole entire time. And it wasn't. I'm sure she didn't. And it was just the classroom. It was just the piece of fish in the vent. Like she she must have gone, there's a piece of fish in here. Like if someone comes in and brings you a piece of fish and hides it in your room, you're going to know about Like I had, so in one of my cupboards from a pre, so we used to do like this thing with year seven where we used to make, um,
00:39:42
Speaker
We used to make projects with them and it used to be like a yeah UK landmark or landscape and they could like make cakes, they could make like a model, they could do it as like a PowerPoint presentation, they could build it in like Minecraft or whatever. But as long as they had something to like show effectively, um it used to take up a few lessons. and It was yeah it's good fun.
00:40:01
Speaker
It was a good way to get involved with with'd like year seven um and they used to really enjoy it And in this cupboard was like old models that were like really good. And then there was like, just this weird, like so set of paper that had just been strewn across everything.
00:40:20
Speaker
And in there was a, was a cake and it must've been in there for like years. It was so moldy and horrible. And we were like, where has this come from? And it must have just been sat there for years. Like we tried to like, it was it was too big to like just put into the bin straight away. So we had to like break it up.
00:40:38
Speaker
It was like trying to cut into a rock. Like it was that solid. like We had like we had like um like knives trying to like break up this um break up this piece of cake. And it was just awful. And it's like, but you could...
00:40:53
Speaker
You could smell it. Like it it didn't smell good. And I'm like, that's a piece of cake. So how how long was that fish in her room? i Like that could still be there today. Well, I think it's important to remember at the start of this section...
00:41:08
Speaker
I was describing the single-glaze window and the hot and sweaty in the summer. So, for a period of the year, it intensified the smell.
00:41:20
Speaker
It was really, ah really, really bad. You know what? It's still in my nose. I can still, even thinking about it, I can smell it. can really, really smell it.
00:41:32
Speaker
it was awful. It was that awful, awful, awful smell. horrible. Oh, it's still there. That poor It probably did sort of soak into her clothes, didn't it? Well, yeah. I mean, it's got to get into her furniture, hasn't it? Yeah, and the furniture. so um pretty sure I'm pretty sure one of our year group threatened to punch her or something. Oh, God. Maybe I'll stick too far there. I think they got into like a confrontation with her, having like a shouting match.
00:42:00
Speaker
At each other, like directly. And he was like, i'm good i'm I'm going to punch you in a second. And then like stormed out the room. And it was like... That's awful. ah Yeah. It's a horrible situation to get into.
00:42:12
Speaker
You see, that that's the thing. i My year group, we're never like lethal. We're just ah mentally... um Yeah, we don't want to talk about what's happened to some of the kids out our year group. Yeah, no, no, we won't talk about them. We had some nutters. Yeah.
00:42:31
Speaker
We had, I think, yeah, what else happened? I think, oh, the classics, ah condoms blowing up and just patting them around the world, ah around the world, around the room.
00:42:42
Speaker
Again, we're all just like, yeah! ah Just patting them around. But I always... ah like I genuinely like tried in the class as well. I genuinely tried. the thing is, a lot of people were very smart in that class.
00:42:54
Speaker
um I don't think I was like super smart, so i always had to like work a lot to try and understand what we were doing. So I generally... really tried and I'd go and ask and I'd ask for help with stuff and I'd do some work I'd come back and go, oh miss, I really need some help with this.
00:43:08
Speaker
She's like, nah, not giving you any more help. And at the time I was like, what the hell man? I'm like one of the people in this class who actually wants to learn. ah But now I can see why she's just like, i had enough.
00:43:20
Speaker
I've had enough of all of you. ah think you can. Yeah. I think sometimes if you're, if you go to someone and they're not And they've had like a really tough lesson. i think yeah They just need a bit of time. like i think you yeah yeah We often think about teachers as not being real life people a lot the um and you know Or they're a teacher. They adore teaching. They love teaching. And that is not the case with a lot of teachers. i And like after certain groups, they don't look forward to certain groups of students and stuff like that. I can understand that.
00:43:57
Speaker
If you know that you've got like a bad class or like you've just had a really tough lesson and it might not even be your lesson. If you've got two lessons in a row, yeah the the class before were like absolutely horrible. And then you've had like a, even if you've had like a decent lesson with the group after sometimes you just need 20 minutes just to breathe, like get over it, move on to the next one and then mark or go and teach another lesson. Like it's, it's not, it's not always fun.
00:44:26
Speaker
we're all out We're all human. And i tell you what, Miss Smith, we're very sorry for any damage caused. It was it was good it i was honestly, don't think of anyone, it was anything to do with you.
00:44:38
Speaker
Personally, I think everyone just liked having a really big old laugh. and So from the bottom of our hearts, we're all very sorry. And we hope you're okay. Yeah, let's move on.
00:44:52
Speaker
It's going to be hard to pick out. You've got multiple ah things to to blur out now. if this our work We'll work through it. It's fine. i think I think most of it is fine. It's fine.
00:45:04
Speaker
Yeah, I'm sure we've not said. ah No. um So I apologize for that. that is again You've just said it again. This is just general chat, isn't it? that we go A midsection chat. I'm not cutting it. Nothing gets cut. Nothing gets cut.
00:45:20
Speaker
Nothing gets cut.
00:45:25
Speaker
I've got... Oh, we've done a good old time this week. um So, Scott, um I'm going to take a little liberty of reading out this email um because...
Appreciative Emails and Nostalgic Reflections
00:45:41
Speaker
Oh, God, I'm scared. It's it's for you. it's It's for you this week.
00:45:45
Speaker
So... um And it's nice. because It's a nice email I've been sent in from some of Scott's former students. Isn't that nice?
00:45:56
Speaker
I'm actually terrified about this. Oh, and I'll read it out because we I've asked their permission. So we'll read it out. Hi, Scott. Message from some of your old students and adopted students from Windsor.
00:46:07
Speaker
The other day we left year 13 and remember the times when we got you to help us revise by the field in your... Oh, not in your tree. In your free. thought you were in a tree, like some like... Yeah, I just heard a tree. A woodland nymph or something. Come join me, children. Come join me.
00:46:25
Speaker
When we took over your classroom in D4, you didn't tell us about this, as well as when Izzy and Ellie bought you food from Macca's. Oh, John, we've got stories about Macca's, haven't we?
00:46:37
Speaker
Or when we tried to teach Millie how to catch. How young were these people, Scott? a they would They were in year 11. Right, okay, gosh, okay. but We all love the pod, even though we had to tell Sophie how to subscribe to it.
00:46:52
Speaker
This doesn't have to go on the pod, but didn't know how else to reach out. Love from Izzy, Ellie, Sophie, and Millie. Well, Sophie, Ellie, Izzy, and Millie, thank you very much for writing in. That is very kind.
00:47:05
Speaker
um And Scott... Please tell us more about these field sessions you used to do. i mean, I wouldn't call it a field session. They had their exam like the next day um and I had a double free because my year 11 lessons used to be there. And the way that study lead often works is that the member of staff will be free.
00:47:28
Speaker
if ah if you need to come into school and have some help. They need some help, um but often your room gets reassigned to other lessons in the school just to help with, like, sometimes you have to move, like, halfway through a lesson and stuff, so room had been taken up.
00:47:46
Speaker
And this is how you... It was a nice summer's day. There were benches outside. i start i was marking books outside. I was marking some year seven or eight books, I think. at the time outside, probably the first time I was doing them for the year.
00:48:00
Speaker
And yeah, they they came out and were like, we need some help. So I got no marking done and had to say at that box of books home with me, but help them revise through some stuff. I can't remember.
00:48:11
Speaker
ah for the life of me, what we revised that afternoon. Well, that's very, very nice. They very, very nice students. I didn't teach. um i only taught Sophie and Ellie.
00:48:23
Speaker
Okay. They were excellent students. um I never taught Izzy or Millie, but they were students that I helped because they were friends with Sophie and Ellie. Nice. if they couldn't ah Our department was very...
00:48:42
Speaker
broken I would say, as a department, in the sense of like, know, everyone was terrible teachers or anything, but a lot of the members of staff that we had were like higher up in the school.
00:48:53
Speaker
they were a little bit harder to find their own teachers and stuff. So I ended up taking... a lot of the flack with the members have have met members of staff and and kind of splitting out their classes as well.
00:49:07
Speaker
That was very nice. That was such a nice email to have in. what about um What about this Mackey's situation? yeah what did you get? I'll be honest, i don't remember. I really don't remember. um I don't remember it actually receiving I remember them eating Mackey's.
00:49:21
Speaker
um But yeah, they probably bought me a burger in or something. um so yeah Makes sense. it just realize that You've got a history of McDonald's, haven't you, Scott? For God's sake. Go on, John. Here we go.
00:49:37
Speaker
I already know what's coming. Anyone who's listened before, I'll give a brief recap. You might remember there's a teacher we've mentioned a few times, Mrs. Nibs, who was the... um She was head of sixth form as well, wasn't she? As well as being the sort of scariest disciplinarian in the school.
00:49:55
Speaker
I think she's the official podcast champion. Yeah, she is. She but can make her a try we loved her but Quite often, once we all started driving in sixth form, ah we'd pop and get a Macca's for lunch.
00:50:12
Speaker
Which I never did. was about to say, I don't think Scott had one. He was just having to be sat with us. never did. and we're Literally never. We were all eating a mac and she's obviously just seen us and seen Scott near us.
00:50:23
Speaker
But later on... It was the next morning. It was the next day. It was sick for myself. I knew for some reason everyone was gathered, yeah. And... no
00:50:36
Speaker
The fact that I already know what's coming. The fact that I already know what's coming. were um We were applying for uni at the time, so you had to ah send off your yeah UCAS application and and pay the fee.
00:50:48
Speaker
And Scott had already paid his fee as well, just to add to that. I was the first person in the year group to which she'd already she'd already said to, no, the head of admissions or whatever it was, the UCAS lady had already said, oh, well done, Scott, you're the first person in the year group in the previous sixth form assembler.
00:51:06
Speaker
But um anyway, so she came into the assembly. They'd done the assembly or whatever. I don't know if it was the end or the start, but it went quiet. was the end. And then she ah all of a sudden turned to Scott and said, obviously most people didn't know what was happening, but she said, Scott, are you ah you going to pay your UCAS fee? Have you spent all your money on burgers?
00:51:28
Speaker
LAUGHTER
00:51:33
Speaker
to which most people just look shocked that this woman was going in Scott. They probably didn't know the context at all. They were like, Jesus Christ, fat shaming him. It's so horrible.
00:51:47
Speaker
Oh, so brutal. She was like, i think I think the way she worded it was like, um shit horrible she made direct eye contact with me while she was staying here. She was like, what are you, you know, what are you...
00:52:03
Speaker
you you all like Most of you need to get your UCAS in now. It's it's like really it's really important to get UCAS in. um I've seen a lot of you go into McDonald's. um I've seen a lot of you go to McDonald's this week, especially you, Scott. and ah And you're using your money ah you spending your money on McDonald's rather than getting your UCAS in. And another think I think I was like...
00:52:25
Speaker
I was really shocked and then it moved on. And then I think I just turned, everyone was like, looked at me. And then I think I turned to like the little group that we were sat with and I was just like, I've already paid I think for me, that's the one and only time I've seen her completely sort of flabbergasted. Because I think she realised, like everyone was like, looking at her like shocked, like she's just bullying the student. And you so like um she She know what to do, did she? She was like in full on panic mode. She was like, oh yeah no, I've gone too far here. that's fantastic.
00:53:02
Speaker
I feel like that's nicely rounded off today's part. It started with me. getting into hot water with something might have said and then mrs libs getting into hot water with something she's said oh definitely amazing earn it good way of doing it oh that was such a good part love that today that's really nice really bringing back some memories and the smell oh that's smell smell that's gonna stick with me for a while again i think i've got to forget that i really need to forget it all right well Thank you for tuning everyone. Thank you for that lovely email we sent. Please keep sending your emails in.
00:53:32
Speaker
It's so nice to hear from you. um Where can they send them in to, Luke? I can send them in to tuckyourshirtingpod at gmail.com. And don't forget to subscribe ah to our podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or I guess wherever you're listening right now.
00:53:48
Speaker
um If you're not subscribed to it, subscribe. And if you want to get some more insights and picks and what we have going on, um Join our Discord. the The link's in the description for our but the pod, and we put it pretty much everywhere.
00:54:02
Speaker
um And it's nice to have a chat in there as well. So thank you, everyone, and we'll see you soon. Bye. Bye. Bye.