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Festivals
54 Plays2 months ago
This week on Tuck Your Shirt In, we talk festivals and all the carnage that comes with a 16 year old Luke and a 13 year old John exploring the UK music festival scene!
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Took Your Shirt In' Podcast
00:00:04
Speaker
Oi, oi. Welcome back to Took Your Shirt In, the podcast digging up the school stories your headteacher hope you'd forget. From dodgy group projects to legendary bust-ups behind the bike sheds, we've got the inside scooped straight from the classroom trenches.
00:00:19
Speaker
You're listening to Took Your Shirt In with me, John Hassan, my brother Luke Hassan, and our producer, Scott Burrows, still proudly banned from Parents Evening. Let's
Scott's Parents Evening Mishap
00:00:29
Speaker
crack on with it.
00:00:35
Speaker
from Banned from parents' evening? Why am I banned from parents' evening? Because you were there and you were neither a teacher nor a parent of the place. i mean, that just never happened. Creating a very, very dark can of worms to open there. That is...
Luke's Park Dean Holiday Experience
00:00:55
Speaker
I've taken you to court. Luke, that's an ah's an interesting background you've got going on there. what's ah Yeah, I'm not in my usual space. Like last week, well, actually, no, nothing like last week, but I was in the bedroom last week. This time I'm um away in Park Dean Sanford Holiday Resort.
00:01:14
Speaker
Oh, lovely. We're having a... Little family getaway, so I've got myself this lovely tartan curtain background, and I'm podding from the mobile. I like it, I like it.
00:01:26
Speaker
But I have brought the mic, so we'll get good audio still. When you said the mobile, I wasn't sure if you meant like, it was a mobile home that you were in, or mobile you own, the way you said that. It is also like a lodge, so it is both mobile within a mobile. Double meaning.
00:01:42
Speaker
Yeah. It looks good. My son's just a in and out of the bedroom at the minute because he's so he's too excited. He's had a really exciting day.
00:01:53
Speaker
Watch it. Talk us through your first holiday day. it's been good, actually. Really good. Really exciting.
Luke's Embarrassing Bread Story
00:01:59
Speaker
Although, yesterday... and i um ah the I was trying to get some stuff ready for like to go. And I thought, at Co-op, I'm a bit of a bargain hunter at Co-op Asda. You know, the yellow stickers at Asda.
00:02:12
Speaker
the The Co-op ones are great because, you know, Co-op stuff's more up the higher end of the ah the supermarket spectrum. And there was a bloke of bread for like 20p. And I was like, oh, and it was like good. You know, it's seeded.
00:02:24
Speaker
um Proper seeded loaf. Took it to the till and it I put it in love in the ear through the scanner last. And it it came with something I've not seen before. It went like unable to sell. You passed its sale by date. And was like, what?
00:02:40
Speaker
And then the lady shouted over, what did you just scan? was like, oh, ah I'm not quite sure if it is these these buns or this like bread. I think it was the buns. so and But they looked in date.
00:02:57
Speaker
And obviously didn't know the bread was out date at this point. And the lady's like, what about the bread? was like, oh yeah, he's actually out of date. She's like, well, I can't sell it to you then. I can't sell it to you.
00:03:09
Speaker
I can't sell you out of date. We can't do that. I was like, oh... oh walk out with them why are you shouting at me and then i think because i'd sort of said think it's the buns first it's almost like i was trying to hide the fact that i was buying the bread and i think that made it loads worse it was like was getting interrogated it was horrible i feel like if if it's even if it like that that shouldn't be on on show well i think it was just in with the with the restaurant i just hadn't been through it but
00:03:41
Speaker
Yeah, wasn't happy about that. wanted that bread. It looked fine. It would have been fine. it would have would have been and That was yesterday's news.
Family Adventures and Forgetful Packing
00:03:50
Speaker
um Today, ah so it's a pretty good drive down here.
00:03:55
Speaker
went went through ah We went through Bath and we went through a private bridge that you had to pay a toll for. like um like ah like yeah like ah Like a sort of bridge like a troll would live under.
00:04:09
Speaker
Have you been over it before? Little private title. It was like £1.50. No, than that one. The most bizarre little place. um Cash or card? Either.
00:04:21
Speaker
At least you pay cash. Well, at least you can play pay card. Imagine if you got there and you had no cash and you had to turn around. are The only route into Bath.
00:04:32
Speaker
I've never been through it before. It was like the other side of Bath or the middle of Bath. I'm not quite sure. Cause it must've been over the little river, but I've never been that way before. Um, got here and i was like, Oh, I've packed this car.
00:04:44
Speaker
Absolutely. It was a masterpiece, got everything in the boot. butgie suitcase, uh, swimming bag, ah toy bag, all, the all the all the stuff we needed.
00:04:55
Speaker
Got here. Fantastic. Got everything out the car, met, met mom and dad, Danny and granddad. Um, got the stuff in and, uh, uh, and, and mom goes, have you got Henry's case?
00:05:09
Speaker
was like, I thought you brought it with you the other day. Oh no. on So I left his case in the house. That's terrible. What did you do?
00:05:22
Speaker
oh Well, well, we went to the Tots Disco earlier. um oh actually in the day, he got to meet one of these characters called Sparky the Bunny.
00:05:34
Speaker
ah Maybe he's an electrician or something. I'm not quite sure on the lore of the characters of Park Dean yet. I'm sure that comes as the week goes on. They're going to deeper lore.
00:05:45
Speaker
um So he went to the Tots Disco. He was a bit bewitched by it. And then he was a bit scared as well. But he had a nice time. And I saw this little shop popped in, got him some lovely Park Dean merchandise for the week.
00:06:00
Speaker
So got him a sparky top. And there's also this... um
00:06:07
Speaker
like it's either a rat or a dog i've not met this character yet um but he has like bright red eyes and he looks really stoned or something horrible character really atrocious oh my god there's only so many in his size these characters are terrible i'm just sorry i've just had to google on the side if you got the dog up is it a dog or a rat I don't know which one it is. It's a rat thing. It looks really stoned, doesn't it? it's rare Or a rabbit dog.
00:06:35
Speaker
the ride dog The rabbit is... The rabbit's okay. Yeah, the rabbits are okay. The... Yeah, the other ah the other ones are terrifying. The dogs... It is like a rat, isn't it? It's like a rabid rouse.
00:06:54
Speaker
It's horrible. We'll put it in the Discord pictures. It's awful. Oh, my God. But anyway, I got him a sparky a rabid rat top. And um I don't know if I got him pyjamas, but... No, it's a dog. It's definitely a dog. It's horrifying dog.
00:07:11
Speaker
I got him some pyjamas. But the only pyjamas in his size were, the of course, the rabid rat pyjamas. So he's got rabid rat pyjamas, rabid rat t-shirt, and a sparky t-shirt.
00:07:23
Speaker
Yeah. And we had an ice cream. We've come back and tried get him to sleep, but I realised saying that he had the ice cream quite late. So he's probably absolutely pumped off that. just Sugar on ice cream. like Yeah. Going to a kid's disco pumping.
00:07:38
Speaker
went to the arcade as well. He's had a ripe whale of a time. Just needs 10 minutes just sat in a dark room, doesn't he? Yeah. We did. 10 minutes straight back up. We'll see. ah But yeah, there we go. That's the holiday so far.
00:07:52
Speaker
I'm ready for the... I thought he might make it to quarter past nine, to be honest, in this thing, because it's the ABBA night tonight, but he made it till seven o'clock, so a little bit shy. Big night as well. I know. We missed bingo as well.
00:08:08
Speaker
Bingo's at half eight. That's late for Bingo. We'll try it tomorrow. This sounds like the most traditionally British seaside. It's brilliant. a lot like It's pretty good. It sounds like they're aiming really old and really young. It feels like they're not going down. There's nothing in between. Nothing but nothing for like 20 to like.
00:08:26
Speaker
yeah twenty to twenty to like Yeah, it's like under 10s and then like over 70s. Well, I tell you what, you've got that bang on because it's a toddler week.
00:08:37
Speaker
So you've got that spot on. Toddler and grandparent week. and so so Honestly, it pretty much is. There's just loads of toddlers and then loads of um like 70, I'd say 80 plus, we're walking around with dogs.
00:08:51
Speaker
Well, there you go.
John's Comedy Gig Disaster
00:08:52
Speaker
The activities make sense then, yeah. know. We've got another the sponsor here, Park D. We've got the kid. He's he's absolutely splashed out in Park D merchandise. when you were When you spoke about the co-op earlier, I was really disappointed. It was an M&S, by the way. Well, I don't know if there's one right near me.
00:09:11
Speaker
um If there was, I would have tried it. I did get a good pizza base from a Mines not long ago. That was a nice one. um Yeah, pretty good week though. It's not getting started on that. and I know, he's already mentioned it.
00:09:24
Speaker
I won't bring it up again, I promise. Best behaviour. John, how's your week in comedy been this week? I've actually seen one of your gigs this week. Yeah, Scott Couch for one of them. I basically just did all the camera work for the event.
00:09:40
Speaker
Oh, nice. um oh nice which was which was pretty pretty spectacular, actually. Press record for me on my phone. It did. I had to put it in ways. You had to put it on the stand as well, actually. Exactly. had to go on the tripod, which you need to make sure you bring to football this week because I want to get some... I want to see if we can record football and see how it works. Try if you want.
00:10:04
Speaker
It's going to be horrible. But yeah, I'm...
00:10:10
Speaker
But yeah, it was it was that it was a mixed it was a mixed bag of a week. um I had three gigs. ah The first one was by far the worst gig um ever I've ever experienced, i guess I'll say. i don't think it was particularly my fault, 100%.
00:10:27
Speaker
was more I just spat at people in the crowd and it was fun. It was more like everyone was dying that went on stage. is very The audience did not want comedy, it felt like. so it was a um Was this the Korean comedy night?
00:10:41
Speaker
Yeah, comedy and curry night. right so um But didn't that doesn't it sold out? Yeah, it was sold out. Yeah. But it was a weird room. I think it was, um it's called the old house at home, the place. I think it was genuinely like an old house that had been converted into like a pub at some point, like a big house.
00:10:58
Speaker
um So when in, there were like two doors. ah One door was the main room where they'd got the main bar and then there was a second little bar where the other comics were, where we were waiting, sort of like a green room, I guess. um Which meant we couldn't see the other comedians when they were on either. We could barely hear them, which is quite unusual because usually you can sort of get a gauge on what the audience is is liking and stuff and sort helps. Mm-hmm.
00:11:26
Speaker
um But I was on fourth. And the first guy that was on, I've seen him um before. He's been going a long time. He's really good. And he went on, he came back out and he just looked completely like, like he'd been through something. He looked like he was really disheveled.
00:11:44
Speaker
He's had bad experience. How did you set it go? was just like... Dreadful, mate. Dreadful, mate. And then he just got on his bike and just left. Didn't say anything else. Push bike. Didn't even stay. Yeah, push bike. Yeah. It feels really sad for some reason.
00:11:57
Speaker
um Then the second one, um
00:12:03
Speaker
it was this a woman that's not been going for very long. I think she'd been going for like maybe like six months. um So she came out and said, I didn't get as many laughs as I normally get. And then the ah the third guy, I know quite well.
00:12:16
Speaker
He was on just before me. I stood outside just waiting for him to finish and he came out, he was just laughing. he just said, good luck. um But then as he came out, they'd started bringing the curry in at that point.
00:12:29
Speaker
And I was like, no, i've not got to go on now, have I? And I heard the kitchen like manager or the manager of the pub say to the woman, is that that the last one before the the curry break now? And she was like, no, there's one more.
00:12:42
Speaker
So he'd started putting some of the curries some of the tables. And then they introduced and had to go out. And like they just clearly didn't want me there. Oh, no. They just wanted to eat their curries.
00:12:53
Speaker
They had to sit and watch me for 10 minutes. And um it was a weird room as well because I said didn't even know what it looked like because been in there. um But it was it was really narrow. It was like it was like an alleyway size.
00:13:07
Speaker
um And there were people down the sides on like bench seats. And then there was a guy probably about... five meters away from me like was the closest one directly opposite me so it's a really strange layout um and as i say they just didn't want me there i think i cut about a minute or two at the end of my set because i was just like this is awful so um yeah that was that was the worst gig i've ever had i think Was it a majority... majority it's a ah A curry night?
00:13:39
Speaker
I think so. With some comedy. I think... Yeah. I think most of them were there for the curry. That definitely... yeah It's like that... ah Have you seen that Tim... Tim Robbins? so Tim Robbins?
00:13:50
Speaker
Which one is it? It's like, I'm here for the zip slide. Have you seen that? No, I haven't seen it, no. No, haven't seen that either. No, don't worry. Yeah. So the guys sat on the... Like, you said there were guys on, like, benches down the side. Well, it's... Did they have tables?
00:14:04
Speaker
They had tables, yeah. No, it was it wasn't it wasn't benches. It was like, you know, the seats that go around the edges of like a room. Yeah. So it was literally... Football, like a room. Ah, right. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sort of like that, all around the side. But then obviously there was no one directly in front of me, apart from this guy who was right at the opposite end of the bar.
00:14:23
Speaker
He was probably about five metres away from me, which is like quite a distance. Yeah. And then there was a couple of tables literally underneath me. I was sort looking down at them. So it was, ah yeah, it was awful.
00:14:36
Speaker
And I think it's it's weird because I've never been in the situation like knowing it's going to be bad before you even go on. Like it's its so sort of like thinking, i don't want to be like, it don't let the person down that's organizing it. It's not their fault, is it? Yeah.
00:14:50
Speaker
But ah yeah, it's it's it's weird. It's the first time i've been like, I just don't really want to do this. I wasn't nervous and I wasn't that bothered because I was expecting it to be bad because everyone else had said theirs had gone badly. But um it's just a weird, it's a weird situation to be in. What's it feel like when you're, when you're, Like when you're up on stage or like, yeah you know, wherever you are and you you tell a joke, that joke is, you know, it's proven to work. It's been effective like previously and you just get no laughs whatsoever.
00:15:22
Speaker
Yeah, it's ah it's not nice. That's sort of ah what you're aiming for, really, the laughs. But it's probably... No, really? In comedy? Yeah, that's that's that's usually the act. But I think it's not as bad now. I think earlier on, it's probably more devastating. You know, when you're sort of trying to build your confidence when you're very first starting out. I imagine if yeah if you if that was like, you know, your fifth or sixth gig and you're getting no laughs, you're just thinking, oh, this probably ain't for me. But...
00:15:51
Speaker
like I've done most of that set before and got really good reactions, so I'm sort of confident in the material. It's easy to eies to judge, like you think, no, this one, it's not my material that's not working, it's the curry in the wild performance. I find that wild. I find that wild that the the the guy, like the kitchen staff, was just like, oh yeah, start start sending it out.
00:16:12
Speaker
Yeah. just And just was just like, oh, yes, you know, we're all good to go And then just went, oh, shit, I've not asked if that's the last comedian. And like, oh, God, what time to go out. It's a lot to try prepare and time.
00:16:26
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's that's that there was a bit of a miscommunication. yeah it did you get Did you get like free curry on the night? or I would have, but I didn't i didn't really ah didn't want any anyway. It was like nine o'clock on like a Tuesday saying night. Oh, late.
00:16:38
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. right so and i I just came home after that because he was in Stoke. So I was like, I'll get back sort of a decent time. But yeah,
Festival Chaos and Excitement
00:16:47
Speaker
it's um it's I think it's still a good experience because think...
00:16:51
Speaker
ah The other thing that you can do, which I've started to do, is try and address it. If someone doesn't find something funny, sort of make a comment about it. That'll usually get to reaction. um sort of like A bit like in the Sully Hall one, when ah i was talking about Iceland, and like there wasn't much of a response to it. So I said, oh, we're in Sully Hall. You might not know what Iceland is, and started describing white throws.
00:17:13
Speaker
And then that got a really big reaction. Yeah, that was really funny. Just so for for anyone listening who doesn't know the areas, John was talking about the shop Iceland, not the not the area, and was in a very, very posh area by us. And everyone was like, you could tell everyone was from like the posher areas.
00:17:33
Speaker
Like it was just one of those nights. It was really good. It was really good to see. I was pretty happy with ah with Friday. it's quite That was quite a challenging room as well for different reasons, but it was ah it was a friendly crowd at least.
00:17:44
Speaker
I mean, it was it was difficult just for the fact that the front, like the tables were in a really weird structure. It was like 32 degrees in the in the venue with no air con.
00:17:57
Speaker
yeah And the fact that The front table were gunning about 30 shots a minute and were just absolutely smashed. They were smashed. They were, yeah. Like, the one guy tried to stand up at the end and like, just staggered and just, like, almost, like, fell over and, like, luckily caught himself on the table. Oh, my God, they were battered. Absolutely battered.
00:18:20
Speaker
That reminds me of that. You went to um the the Longbridge Social stand-up thing and there was a girl at the front and she was just absolutely annihilated.
00:18:31
Speaker
And she kept just shouting out at the comedians. Oh, really? and do do you remember that? I don't remember. You saw the football guy, wasn't it? Are you about Herbert Shard?
00:18:43
Speaker
Yeah. i wish he said language Oh, sorry. Yeah, with Paul McCaffrey was on. Yeah, yeah, um yeah. Yeah, Freddie Quinn was comparing. Yeah, and not every say everyone had to have a go at her. I thought she was like, she was next to our table. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:18:58
Speaker
And the people on the table with them, it's just, they weren't sat with them. It's just that was the seats that we're in. We're not friends with her. She's on her own. She's just on her own. Oh, God. like That is the worst thing. We went to see Jimmy Carr a couple of years ago. um And obviously, like, people do shout out at, like, pro gigs, but, like...
00:19:17
Speaker
he even like she just kept going and going and going. And it like he just he just absolutely destroyed her. And then... She just kept going. He was like, okay, we've had our fun. like I'm just going to yeah and then i'm just going to get get rid of you if you if you keep going.
00:19:35
Speaker
And she kept going and going. And he was just like, yeah, can someone take her out? like All the crowd were like but like cheering because she was going, because she was just doing everyone's head in. i guess people just are having too much, isn't it, before the gig or a... Yeah, like, they're first they really want to out away for like, out out for like ages. It's bad. I mean, I would never shout out at a comedian, no well this a comedy gig. Like, it's too scary. That Peter Kay thing that happened, but that was really weird, wasn't it you see that?
00:20:07
Speaker
No. Oh, I can't remember the full story. Ring the bell. I think it was when he was in Manchester, someone shouted out garlic bread, you know, literally like... Oh yeah, yeah, And um he got really like annoyed by it and and got them like chucked out.
00:20:22
Speaker
I mean, I thought he was joking at first. so and ah And, um, but laugh think that was literally, apparently that was literally all that happened. And, um, I got checked out the venue and then someone started chanting, we love you, Peter. We do. And he started like having a go at them as well. So I don't know what, don't know he's having a bad night, but, um, no, he's having, he's become serious now.
00:20:40
Speaker
Serious comedy. It's a very serious comedy. Yeah. Uh, ah
00:20:50
Speaker
this lot of that What have got? What we about this week? Well, I thought because it's um the final episode of the series, we probably should have said that start, actually, but it's more mysterious this way.
00:21:04
Speaker
um So last last episode of the series. um And don't worry, well'll ah we'll put a couple of specials out before the next one. But I thought as we're approaching the festival season and Glastonbury is this week or was it the weekend?
00:21:21
Speaker
have idea. have no idea. might be this week. It's got to be this week. Download was last week, wasn't it? Download was last week. It's either this week or it was just gone.
00:21:33
Speaker
But it's festival season. I thought we'd talk about some of the festivals and because that's pretty much a big rite of passage, isn't it, from ah the old GCSEs. uh and a level so thought we took us about some of the yeah the festival years um ah especially that me and john have gone on scott and know you said you know haven't done much festivals have you have you been to a festival mr scott i've never been to a festival um fair enough growing up playing cricket doesn't really allow you to uh
00:22:04
Speaker
to to to go to festivals. like You pretty much just have no no social life in the summer because you're just playing cricket. so I bet you could a bet now you could actually to a cricket festival. but um the Yeah, ah the plan is to go to the plan is to for me to experience Leeds on the Saturday this year. Oh, great.
00:22:26
Speaker
Yeah, that's a good one. That's really good. It's pretty exciting. It's got some good artists lined up as well. I text John about that actually. It looks really, really good. Yeah, you wanted to go to Sunday, didn't you, to see Limp Bizkit? Oh yeah, Limp Bizkit, Ron.
00:22:42
Speaker
ah I tell you what, on the drive here through Bath, there was a lovely cricket game going on. um I think it was King Edgewood School or something like that. Lovely cricket game going on. um Anyway... distracted from the uh yeah sorry go back it was it's just before it was i think it was just after the toll actually like this is just ah an amazing scene anyway yeah festivals so i think the first experience the festival um was the gcse festival of the year which was a reading festival
00:23:14
Speaker
um in 2006 and not only it was actually really difficult to get tickets to festivals back then as well I know like now it's like very easy to get tickets apart from Glastonbury obviously um i think every other festival is pretty easy these days but that then it was so difficult you'd have to do the same thing everyone would log on to like um onto the computer then like obviously back then the internet was so slow and terrible um We're all trying to get on and we get some tickets.
00:23:45
Speaker
And not only did I go, but John also went. um If you don't know, John's three years younger than me. So I was going at 16. 13, John. yeah And John was going at 13. Yeah. So...
00:23:59
Speaker
I couldn't drive then. Hobbs. So we got our bags packed. And I did anyway. Yeah, I did anyway. I actually did drive at 16.
00:24:11
Speaker
ah Well, not the festival. We got into Birmingham, got the coach together. It must have looked mad, didn't it? John, who was 13 years old, getting on. I couldn't imagine sending Henry to Reading.
00:24:23
Speaker
Yeah. Especially back then. I like the way, I like the way Bev and Pete were just like, yeah, let's do it. yeah Let's do it. Let's send John. Trusted me very much. and My mum's actually sitting directly opposite me and I can see it john john jack John and Luke are such nice lads. Nothing could possibly go wrong. but I was very independent so was you know was very good.
00:24:47
Speaker
So we got to Reading. Didn't really know what to expect other than there was like a million good bands on that we wanted to see. um I think we were meeting some my friends from college there I think.
00:24:59
Speaker
I'm pretty sure. Yeah. But it was all very exciting. But remember going in and a friend, I'm pretty sure it's Emmett, had like crate of beers.
00:25:11
Speaker
He's like, oh, do you want a beer? And i was like, oh, well, I do really want one. but I was really worried because like, don't want to show John that I've got one. He might, A, either tell mum. And I was like, B, also, I don't want him to drink anything.
00:25:24
Speaker
I'm just picturing John like doing a keg stand when you turn around. but no, no, I've got to look after John. John's just like... and ah Something else like, no, no, I don't want anything. Thank you.
00:25:37
Speaker
and um I love how restrained Luke's been because I could look like, because your mom's in the room.
00:25:47
Speaker
Oh no, she knows all this sort stuff, I guess. Just experiencing a first person. um But yeah, we we got set up at this one. I think this sort of sets a standard for every festival ah but that follows, but yeah. I remember that we um we took an absurd amount of stuff the first year. we yeah, this rings a bell. We took, like, loads of, like, food. Like, an insane amount of like, tinned food as well. So it was so heavy.
00:26:16
Speaker
and like, there never used to be any rules on, um like, now there's rules on what you can take in terms of, like, cooking and stuff. There were no rules then. You could take anything, like...
00:26:27
Speaker
Yeah, those rules are in place because they had to do the cleanup operation of what you guys have done. Probably Luke could say towards the end of the festival what happened. I'll go into that. Oh, yeah, I'm going to go into that. that that might we We can maybe, let's save that, save that, save that for later.
00:26:43
Speaker
Yeah, um yeah oh I remember we were eating like, ah I think we had loads of cans of stewing steak. Stewing steak and smash. What? Smash. What? my walk and and custard and often we'd be going straight to the custard after the stewing steak and smash so it was like a mix. I don't think I've ever been so disgusted.
00:27:07
Speaker
ah genuinely question in our friendship. That is bizarre. this is that is bizarre
00:27:16
Speaker
um but certainly back then and toilet situation absolutely vile um yeah shock horror Luke's on about a toilet again yeah yeah true but this isn't me this time but ah I remember the toilets have got a lot better since like it's completely different experience we'll we'll talk about when me and John went last year very different experience um it used to just be like you know like sheet aluminium urinals like you get in like a ah cheap there's but like cable tied to like a fence and they and they used to be like just linked up with a little bit of pvc pipe in between each urinal and they'll be down this fence and like in the morning absolutely fine no bother without running water
00:28:01
Speaker
And then later on in the day, it'd just be like full and it start overflowing. Just everywhere. And people just going all again all along the fences. And and and then as you get further into the night, it' not we're seeing someone just lying in one.
00:28:20
Speaker
Just absolutely covered. Oh. Were people still with people still like going on them as well? No, they were going on them. wasn't that bad. But i mean he was just literally lying covered. You do hear stories of people falling into him and stuff, don't you? Oh, yeah. yeah yeah Because they're just overflowing, overflowing.
00:28:40
Speaker
And they'd just be like on a little slight slant. Oh God. But yeah, mean, talking about that in the middle of the night, where are you going to go? You need to go somewhere. Crawl out your tent in the dark. You're like, where am I going to go? You just go, just go on a tent. It's absolutely, you know, are going to do?
00:28:55
Speaker
It's the only place to go.
00:28:59
Speaker
yeah. But, um, there's a big story. I bet, I reckon a lot of people remember this, um, where a girl at Leeds festival dropped her phone in the toilet Now, especially back then, I don't know if they still have these in the campsite, but the toilets used to be a big bucket of filth underneath and you climb up some stairs and it's just some toilet doors and some holes above this big bucket of filth.
00:29:27
Speaker
yeah
More Festival Mayhem and Hallucinations
00:29:28
Speaker
Like when as I say bucket, it's like, imagine a swimming pool. Yeah, know, a swimming pool. And then on top, you just went in. Now a girl dropped her phone in there. um And she tried to climb in to get it, but then actually fell straight in um into the into this massive...
00:29:48
Speaker
swimming pool of crusted sewagey filth and like in the morning not too bad after it's been clean but when it starts to go on it is atrocious the smell is awful you know people just been drinking and eating burgers it's gonna be really bad I saw an Instagram video the other day of like, do you know, like the people that go and clean out like really old, like cesspits?
00:30:12
Speaker
Oh yeah. that's yeahs whole time That's all I can think about it. Like the one guy's like, and here's the crust buster. And now I'm like, oh God, is she just fell in that.
00:30:24
Speaker
Oh yeah. And then what happened was following this, not only did this get heard about at Leeds Festival all over, also have also so heard about all over running festival.
00:30:35
Speaker
So whenever someone would see someone, they'd be going, poo girl, poo girl, poo girl, poo girl. Even though it happened at a different festival. But they'd just find a girl and go, poo girl, poo girl.
00:30:48
Speaker
And just be saying it's them. Oh my God. So gross. Oh, yeah. um Absolutely violent. Violent. That is horrible.
00:31:01
Speaker
Yeah. yeah you You're... um Yeah. So it's, I mean, that's the festival. It's, it's drinking, finding somewhere to go to the toilet. Um, and then finding people lying in said toilet. That's, that's, that's all of it.
00:31:16
Speaker
That is the thing that's always put me off most. I'm not a massive camping fan anyway, but the toilet situation just, yeah. but They're not like that anymore. Like me and John,
00:31:28
Speaker
yeah going to Leeds last year, was like, what is this? This is so different. There's loads of rules for a start. yeah Everyone was like, sat really nicely in the campsite area. And it's like, this is very, very different. The toilet, well, we paid for the VIP ah section where you could have like a lie down, go to a proper toilet. But even outside of that, they're like,
00:31:50
Speaker
a much more clean clean and nice experience. They even had like a little street food section. like, this is miles away from where we went 20 years ago. Like you was it was it was unrecognizable, weren't it?
00:32:02
Speaker
And it was brilliant to be fair. Like, yeah. Even the stage. Yeah, I was about to say, yeah. Like the crowd, like so you couldn't get crushed. Like that was the old... It was used to be terrifying if you went near the front, like, when, like, someone like Prodigy were on or something and you'd just get swept away and, like, oh yeah thousands of people. you remember we watched, um we had those, like, three dance acts in a row. Like, it was either, like, Enter Shikari,
00:32:28
Speaker
pendulum it could have been prodigy as well yeah um in like an enemy tent and if you've seen these scott this holds like 10 000 people or something like how so and there's no crowd control in there and the whole tent was just going in one giant like mosh pit one oh my god just in a circle just in a massive circle but it was so much fun was that when you were 13 john That one was maybe then or a couple of years later. A little bit later, how did you had How did you feel in that scenario, safe?
00:33:01
Speaker
it's No, not at all. The thing is, if you if you fall like you fall down, you're in trouble. You're in serious trouble. So you've just got to try and stay on your feet. That's the only ah thing to do in that situation.
00:33:15
Speaker
um And what about the, um we went to watch Block Party and then they played helicopter and everyone, they were like, yeah, jump up everyone. And we jumped. Yeah, you got carried. And we got carried buts about six foot. Oh my God. Because there's no crowd and there's like,
00:33:32
Speaker
what, 20,000 maybe more, don't know how many in this crowd. We jumped and everyone just, you actually levitated in front of yourself. It was bonkers. It genuinely felt like someone had picked you up and carried you forward. Yeah, it was so weird. Just because like the people's bodies were so tight.
00:33:49
Speaker
because Yeah, because everyone was, we were it like the young sir at like the front back then. Um, That's crazy. a Yeah, wild, man. Like, crowd control is completely different. We were watching, last year we watched Blink-182, pretty close to the front, with like... We so much space. Three to five metres of, like, personal space. COVID festival-ing. Yeah, it was insane. I was like, this is so comfortable and cosy.
00:34:15
Speaker
It was, a it's mad. but Very different. The first year as well, ah we tried to basically see like, we're there the whole day. Cause opened at like 11 or 12, the arena. Yeah.
00:34:27
Speaker
And like, we we tried to see someone constantly, which is not the thing to do, from like 12 in the morning till 12 at night for like three days. So it's absolutely exhausting. Yeah, I just, no, I'd need a break. yeah I would need my so many breaks.
00:34:41
Speaker
Don't worry, Scott, you do get breaks. When you're tired, you just go to the for the firewood ah truck where you'd pick a massive bag of firewood up and then just start a fire somewhere while you're 10. Yeah.
00:34:55
Speaker
how we How is that allowed? How is that allowed? Surely people used to set tents on fire and stuff. Yes. Well, this did happen. Not too bad the first few nights. John's like, yes. Luke's like... ah Particularly, particularly the last night. But it would be good just to roam because all these fires would be going and it'd just be like...
00:35:17
Speaker
What could you describe as a like hellscape? I guess that, or like a war zone. It did feel like war zone. Afghanistan, it feels like that. Yeah. ah i' quite I mean, it sounds really cool.
00:35:29
Speaker
Also, I wouldn't want to go to sleep because I'd like the fear of burning alive in a tent. that Like, it's not bad enough trying to get out of a zip tent anyway. yeah like Imagine it being on fire. They used to put these adverts on the screen in between the acts, didn't they, Luke? Because obviously obviously this was happening. They never addressed it. and They knew it was going to happen. and They say, like, don't throw gas canisters on a fire.
00:35:53
Speaker
that this is the advert oh yeah sorry there's you could also take in gas cookers at this time as well yeah and then there'd be a guy on the screen who'd been like blinded by it happening and exploding before he was like yeah don't do it like look what happened to me and then um like they all these adverts all day and then you walk out the arena on the last night every two steps you just hear like an explosion that's why it was like a war yeah you know this distinct noise like a gas kind of trying to wear sunglasses or like keep keep like look down so it's yeah it's not going near on it oh my god and then they used to have something on the last night called the riots ah it was particularly bad Leeds and what would happen is all the fires would get really big people would be throwing the tents um the chairs whatever they had tents yeah because then you don't have to carry it home with you yeah
00:36:47
Speaker
And then, um, and then they'd have, what'd they have on there? Um, oh, it'd create this massive, massive, like smoky, smoky hellscape everywhere.
00:37:01
Speaker
And you could just see these lights burning because they used to have, you know, the festoon lighting, like the ah little light bulbs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That lights up all the paths and you just see, you'd be walking down this path and all you hear is, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:37:16
Speaker
And they'd be like, crowds and gangs of people gathered, all just like holding some sort of totem. Yeah. and going yeah yeah yeah and they'll come in a bit like you know in helms deep in a two towers like oracar coming towards helms deep not dissimilar what you think john not dissimilar to that is it very good description and then someone would just shout something like let's take down the telephone And me and John witnessed like this crowd of youth just take down a massive power line like thing. Because everything was powered by like big like telephone poles. And they just, it was like... They climbing up it and everything. Bring it down. Bring it down. What is it? What is it?
00:38:02
Speaker
what is it with like whenever you like with these sorts of things happen it why is it always like british youths it just turns into like an angry mob and it's just oh god but that is terrifying it's just the picture of it that like john's 13 and i'm 16 just like wandering around witnessing this john john leading the riots that's yeah that was like not my John not my John good boy my John it's almost like I'd imagine it's like a spectacle you have to go and watch it like everyone's like oh the riots oh yeah yeah you do it's it's that it's the sort of stuff where you're like oh my god that's terrifying and yeah I can't take my eyes off it at the same time ah you'd have to watch it
00:38:46
Speaker
Oh God, yeah. It was insane how how dangerous the whole festival was. Like I say from like... Really, really dangerous. Like Luke said, you could just buy... Like they sold firewood everywhere. You could just buy and just literally put a fire on the floor and just set it on fire. Just wherever just wherever you wanted to. Wherever.
00:39:04
Speaker
Yeah. Literally wherever. It's not even like designated area. Like just, yeah, barbecues. Yeah, whatever. Gas canisters, whatever. Just do it. That is mad.
00:39:17
Speaker
That is crazy. and I remember the first, after the first day, so the second day of going into the arena, um as we were walking in, like there's just thousands of like cups and cans and stuff all over the floor, obviously as you're walking in.
00:39:31
Speaker
And I was like, what the hell is that smell? All I could smell was vinegar. I was like, what is that smell? I think it's just all the alcohol like going like off overnight. Yeah, yeah. And it just literally just stunk of vinegar the whole arena did.
00:39:46
Speaker
I've never seen that in the life. You thought that was alcohol. That was just vinegar. Just vinegar. All the vinegar. All the cups of vinegar that people have been eating. ah them oh god that's how horrible luke had some unlucky things happen to him as well at the festival which oh i forgot about that yeah he had at one point we were walking and some guy just tried to rugby tackle him um do you remember that like we were just some random guy and then and then he but he he wasn't like angry or anything he just ran at him tried to rugby he sort missed and went running off and he just went way Oh, lads, lads, lads.
00:40:23
Speaker
Oh, great. This was way later, actually, when we went and that giant ball ah burst in your face as well. Oh, yeah. There's a giant ball getting thrown around in the crowd. Yeah, you know those ones that get passed around the crowd, like massive beach balls, probably like about six foot, like giant one.
00:40:41
Speaker
Luke turned around and it exploded in his face and like cut just under his eye. Why cut you? Oh, yeah. It was, someone was just literally smoking and going like, just at the same point, this ball was coming at my eyes and someone was next to me.
00:40:57
Speaker
and he my God. um ah ah I went blind. I couldn't actually see out my eye. i could have been like but you could have You could have been on the Leeds poster next year when they banned beach balls before they banned.
00:41:14
Speaker
Be careful with those beach balls. Leeds Festival banned beach balls. The safest thing you could play with. it's It's just there. It's just there. enough to plant safe You enjoy making your fires and rioting in the evenings.
00:41:32
Speaker
Yeah, fires, fine. Beach balls. Literally, it went it just went black. like I couldn't see. I was like, I can't see anything. oh my God. So, I mean, you John escorted me to the medical tent. I don't know how we got there. He must have known what to do.
00:41:46
Speaker
Yeah. 13-year-old John. Yeah. It was, ah yeah, he was looking it. It was just under his eye. So was just a little, like, little rubber burn under his eye. Yeah. um um Oh, my God. That's horrible. Because we'd missed whoever we were seeing. I think we saw, like, the last song of...
00:42:02
Speaker
Was it like Metallica or someone? Yeah, I think we... Because the medical tent, I think, was the side of the main stage, wasn't it? Yeah. So we could just hear Metallica playing. God, yeah. That was horrifying, man. My eye just went black. It must be like the muscle so just, like, retracting. I couldn't it see anything. Then it slowly came back. I have to look at ours. Just an instantaneous dodge. Yeah, horrifying. Yeah, my eye must have just closed, like...
00:42:25
Speaker
just as it got me. oh did that was hard When you played there as well, that was, uh, that was, that was Leeds, wasn't it? Um, I wasn't allowed to talk about that. I didn't need to talk about that. It's wicked.
00:42:39
Speaker
When you won that competition relentless and, uh, Yeah, it was me, you, Liam and Andy, wasn't it? Yeah. And yeah, I remember being... They gave us loads of drinks vouchers and I was like, oh, it's wicked. I was like 18 then, so this is quite a few years on. 14-year-old John. This is where the problem started. I might have even been like 20. was like, yeah, this is quite a few years on. But I remember going in to get a drink and I was like, oh yeah, can I have like, you know, a beer or something? Like, nah, nah.
00:43:09
Speaker
was like, oh, why? It's got to be relentless. I was like... But the drink, yeah, it's got to have relentless in You can have relentless in vodka, relentless in rum. It just had to be relentless. It's so weird. It's because it was a relentless stage so yeah and the tickets were relentless vouchers.
00:43:25
Speaker
Yeah, we got loads of it. was like, don't just want be drinking relentless all night. I'm just awake all night. Just like, oh, yes. We didn't have it just all night. We had it every single night. Bring down the pole. I don't how many, um there was loads there. It was a really cool stage. was like a spaceship.
00:43:43
Speaker
I don't know if you've got any photos of it still, Luke. Yeah, I'll put them Drop them in the Discord. It was insane and there was light projection on it. It was in like the woods and it was obviously at night. They had DJs on after all the arena had closed. It was so cool.
00:43:57
Speaker
And there were thousands of people there. There's 10,000. Yeah. It was mad. wow that's That's crazy. It's in this like yeah like in this valley of a forest. It's insane.
00:44:08
Speaker
Yeah. That's so cool. Yeah. I remember, I think I came backstage after or before. It was Jack jackx Jones. Jack Jones his name. is it Jax Jones? Jax Jones. He was there. i think he was on like, he was headlining or something.
00:44:24
Speaker
And ah know ah I was talking to him. i think he thought worked for Relentless. I was talking to him for ages. but that was that Was that all you were talking about? Just like, yeah, I've got this Relentless drink. It's really Relentless. but I feel Relentless tonight. It's crazy. recognize and and And then he just went, hopefully I'll see you at the next event. well When he left. And I was just like,
00:44:46
Speaker
um work for them as a 14 year old that's crazy but um i think we both had like we were hallucinating weren't we you know we we spoke about it separately um that's really weird though that we spoke on the way home i'd said ah i was dropp it was i drove andy and luke drove leah But on the way home, i was, I like start, I like like, I was breaking. um And Andy was like, why are you breaking? i was like, I thought I saw giant like space hoppers in the road. And I was like, so I was breaking like on the motorway. And then I drove a little bit further and I thought I could see faces in the trees. I'm going to have to stop.
00:45:24
Speaker
um so i stopped for a bit of the services like i had like a coffee and then like got home and then i spoke to luke the next day he said the exact same thing happened to him he was hallucinating someone like spiked you or something it's just are you just not able to drink relentless either does relentless even exist anymore oh yeah yeah yeah
Reflections and Future Festival Plans
00:45:45
Speaker
does it yeah it's ah if you drink And if you want to get your Relentless, you can purchase it now at All Good Race. Please sponsor me again. no
00:45:56
Speaker
Oh yeah, no, it's still going. It's still going. That's crazy. Oh yeah, yeah. I mean, if you ah i mean we also had a crate of Relentless in the tent as well. So we had Relentless in the day. That is so much energy you drink. yeah yeah Oh God, you must have been shitting through the eye of a needle for about nine days afterwards. We were just hallucinating from this energy drink. if you drink like I guess if you drink enough caffeine, then you will hallucinate.
00:46:25
Speaker
yeah yeah course So what was what was the experience like on the stage? so it looked yeah It looked really cool. Oh, very fun. Yeah, so much fun. Yeah, it was really cool. I heard someone make a comment about something the other but it was interesting because like you're so far away from like the crowd.
00:46:40
Speaker
You're like 10, 20 metres away from them, um but there's so many people. But also they have like TVs in there that you can see them, and then you're on the screen and stuff. So... it's like you're connected it in a completely different way to them.
00:46:54
Speaker
Um, in a good way. So fun. That was the coolest thing. ah That was the best, most fun set I've ever played was, was that particular one. i mean, that's, I mean, that's gotta be like performing in front of like 10,000 people. That was like everyone just having a great time. And you're just, you are, you're, you're effectively the person who is like driving that, like fueling that happening. Well, you and the relentless,
00:47:20
Speaker
like that is That is insane. I've also just Googled, can energy drinks make you hallucinate? And it can. They can, mate. They can. Especially, particularly in in individuals predisposed to psychosis. Well, that's good i good to know. to know.
00:47:36
Speaker
Well, it could be family trait. Insane. Yeah, my God. My only festival, my only festival, like, Oh yeah, here we go. Memory is not, it's not even me at a festival. My sister, uh, so like she went, i can't remember where she was.
00:47:55
Speaker
been like V Fest or Reading or something. And, uh, she was I was like, are there any cool bands playing? She was like, oh yeah, Kasabian are playing. definitely going to go see Kasabian. I was like, oh yeah, awesome. That's really cool. um And she like rang my mom, or she like texted my mom, was like, going ring in like 10 minutes because Kasabian are playing.
00:48:13
Speaker
And my mom like said to me, like came upstairs and was like, oh, Katie's on the phone. Kasabian are playing. and I was like, what? Who? And she was like, Kasabian. She said Kasabian.
00:48:27
Speaker
And I was like, Kasabian, what? And I was like, oh, Kasabian. Like, put it to the but the, put the phone to my head. could not hear shit. was just like, yeah, just, just sounded like noise down the phone. She was like, can you, all I could hear was Katie.
00:48:41
Speaker
Can you hear? No, no, I can't. Wait, is that why they're called Kasabian? Is it like Casa Bien? Like, home good or something? Doesn't it mean something?
00:48:52
Speaker
Oh, is it actually cheese Is it like ah Spanish or whatever? I'm googling it now. It's derived from Linda Kasabian, a member of the Manson family, like who later became a key witness in the Tate-Labianca murder trials. No way. The band's founder, Sergio Pizzorno, stated that the name was a chosen simply because they liked how it sounded. She drove off, didn't she? Because she didn't want to be involved.
00:49:22
Speaker
That is crazy. Interesting. is fact. There you go. that's ah that's ah that That's an exclusive pod fact. Well, I'll tell Scott, you're going to have a great time at Leeds because it's completely changed. I'm really looking forward to it. I didn't always think that Leeds was friendlier than Reading anyway. um Yeah, Northern. Although it's the same festival, yeah but yeah, obviously Northern rather than really close to London.
00:49:45
Speaker
And it's in actually like a field as opposed to Reading, which isn't a field, but in the city centre. Yeah. um revolution and no friends there was a little um There was a little hack at Reading where we'd go for Sunday lunch at the Toby Carvery and everyone would be using the toilets in the Toby Carvery. Oh, God, that was horrible. They'd also saram wrap the carpet. I suppose you'd have to because people's shoes and stuff would be so muddy.
00:50:17
Speaker
like That's the other thing I don't want to deal with is just huge amounts of mud. Oh, speak, speak, that's reminding me again. Sorry, to so when we went to oxygen in Dublin. I was just meant to, i was going to mention that one. yeah ah Do you want talk about that one?
00:50:31
Speaker
No, sure, you carry on. I was going to say, at one point we were asleep and then all of a sudden... um Like we woke up because someone had fallen on top of Luke, but they were outside the tent.
00:50:45
Speaker
Like they'd fallen onto the tent and like landed on top of him. So like through the like tent and like of the tent like collapsed afterwards, didn't it? I remember trying to like get it up and it had been pouring down with rain the whole time.
00:50:59
Speaker
um But I can't remember much. out with There was loads of good bands on that year. was like, Eminem, Jay-Z. I remember you going to Oxygen that year and being and being genuinely jealous of like all the people you were going to see. was really fun. Never been at a wetter festival my entire life or any experience of being that soaked.
00:51:20
Speaker
But for afterwards, luke Luke abandoned his shoes when we got back to Dublin. It it was so bad. i couldn't. There was no point in walking in them anymore. It was just, they were done. He walked into a shoe shop with without any shoes on. I love that. That's but was that's just that's all you want. like that is That is fantastic. like every Everyone surely has been to that point where you've had enough of something.
00:51:46
Speaker
And you're just like, I'll just buy a new one. I don't care. Because the the shoes were done in. I had walking boots. They were trashed. I couldn't do it. So I was walking barefoot.
00:51:58
Speaker
Walked into the shop. Blake walked up to me. How can I help you, sir? was like, but I need some shoes and I need some socks. Did you just say shoes?
00:52:10
Speaker
Size 10. Anything will do. don't care. I think when we came out, we were like, oh, we've got to get the bus to the flight in like five hours. So what do we do? So I think we just went to the cinema and had a lie down. Get him to the Greek. Yeah, yeah. yeah yeah i was not great Not a great film to talk about. ah Not anymore but doning anymore. Funny film.
00:52:34
Speaker
but funny film con content film at the time contentious yeah Can we erase him from the film? well there's tit this two There's two of them out there because there's Russell Brand as well. so I was talking about him.
00:52:46
Speaker
Oh, you weren't talking about Diddy also. He's in it. Yeah. Oh God. Jesus. He is, isn't he? He is in it. I'm not making up. Yeah, he is. Is he in as well?
00:52:56
Speaker
Well, it makes sense, doesn't it? isn Yeah, yeah. They're probably besties. Yeah. Sean Coombs, isn't it? like Yeah, of course he Yeah. who is it oh Who's the other guy in it? Seth? um Jonah Hill. Jonah Hill. Oh, I of Seth. Yeah. I don't know if there's anything bad about Jonah Hill yet. No, I think he's really nice.
00:53:15
Speaker
I mean, that's just wait. Anyway, wild, mate. Absolutely wild. You have some fun times
Listener's Embarrassing Biology Class Story
00:53:20
Speaker
at these festivals. That sounded, mean, that all sounded incredible. Like I'm sort of gutted I've missed out on the well on the original festival life, but excited to... ah to tell To tell the pod about my experience. what once've been It's evolved in the best kind of way.
00:53:42
Speaker
but It's for the best. It's for the best. A lot safer. yeah A lot calmer. You're much more likely to come back whole. I think that's the... Yeah, much more likely to survive. Not not blind. Actually to the toilet, okay.
00:53:56
Speaker
And also, this time, there were some actually good clove shops there, weren't there, John? oh There were some good clove shops before. Yeah, yeah. and the food's a lot better like oh the food's very good street food revolution like when it was first out it was literally just burgers oh it was just like classic burgers classic burger van or like really bad Chinese food yeah I'd have enjoyed that though like you can't eat traditional classic outside your football ground burger van like that is just now remember Scott nostalgia the toilet situation the burgers it all adds
00:54:32
Speaker
Everything amalgamates into carnage. That's all I'm hearing. I remember some people would take Imodium to try and not poo for the whole weekend. Oh, God. The desperate bit to not use the toilet. I'm sorry. I just really like to think about that. Like, you get home on the Sunday night or whatever, and you just like... A mountain. You just break the fucking pause on the toilet.
00:54:59
Speaker
Oh, God. Oh, you'll have fun, Scott. Go VIP. there's even There's a beauty station in there. We're only going for the Saturday and we're coming out and staying in like a... um Yeah, that's what we did last year. Staying in like a really nice Airbnb. But no, it'll be really fun theyre really fun. have fun. Yeah. Don't forget your snot rag as well if you need to blow you know
00:55:24
Speaker
your nose. you want a school story to ah to finish the week up? take take us home. So this has been sent to me by someone called Chris.
00:55:36
Speaker
um I don't know Chris, but um welcome to the pod. Thanks for listening. Thanks for sending in your stories. Please keep these coming into tuckyourshirtingpod at gmail.com.
00:55:48
Speaker
I've no idea. it could be. I've no idea. don't know that is. don't have an idea. So this is the, it was, there it it says the first year of high school, which is year eight biology. So I'm presuming they went to like a three tier school system.
00:56:03
Speaker
um So for context, it was the first few weeks of school. ah No one really knew each other. um So there were like loads of different kids from other primary schools. So they didn't really know each other. they're all sat in alphabetical surname order whilst the teacher got to know them.
00:56:19
Speaker
um He was sat on the very back row. It was an old school science lab. So they were sat on the high stools slash benches and there were three of them on the back row. There was Chris and then two girls from other primary schools.
00:56:34
Speaker
The lesson started as normal, copying out from textbooks mainly. um And he was just chilling, kind of trying to trying to act all cool and trying to impress the girls. About halfway through the lesson, the girl next to him had a bag on her lap.
00:56:49
Speaker
And suddenly, liquid started splattering on the floor around her. Chris just assumed that the drink had just like ah her drink had leaked in a bag.
00:57:00
Speaker
um So, trying to be the big guy and the comedian that he was, he was like, I can't believe you've wet yourself. And then he will never forget the look that she gave him.
00:57:11
Speaker
Tears in her eyes and said, the doctor told me it would stop. on Oh, no. no. Chris in this moment was just like, oh, my God, what do I do? Like, didn't know where to look.
00:57:28
Speaker
Fortunately, the girl next to this other girl managed to quietly tell the teacher what had happened. and And he quickly ushered her out of the classroom classroom before anyone really noticed what had happened.
00:57:40
Speaker
And he came over came over to Chris and the other girl. and said we're not allowed to talk about what had happened, and it would be dealt with after the lesson. They then had to work for the rest of the lesson in silence with a big puddle of piss between them.
00:57:55
Speaker
fun Fun fact, the girl on the ah on the other side of the puddle is now his wife, and it's genuinely his first memory of meeting her.
00:58:07
Speaker
well there you go but the bully gets the girl again that is so bad so bad that's mortifying isn't it like trying to make a funny little joke yeah trying to make it feel better or something oh no it's gone wrong it's gone really bad oh that is awful you just met this person as well it's like that's disaster ah makes you think that makes me think of that makes me think of so many like situations as a teacher that we can talk about in the future but oh god yeah thank you for sending that in Chris that is that was horrible I mean what a horrible first memory of you matchmaker but I mean I suppose it I suppose it works maybe she was she's she's just Cupid I feel so bad for that girl poor girl
00:58:58
Speaker
How did you two meet? Well, this girl pissed herself. This girl pissed herself and we just happened to be in the middle and look at each other. That was so well handled though by the teacher. Just like, oh, we'll deal with it after the lesson and just like, no one That's great. Keep it on the DL. Yeah, fair play.
00:59:16
Speaker
wonder what she's up to now. Which one? Chris's wife. One in the middle. I don't know. Who knows? don't Hopefully the doctor did sort it and it did stop. There is no... there's no Jerk, he got it wrong.
00:59:31
Speaker
Yeah. The doctor said it would stop. oh God. That's terrible. that poor girl. She must have been in so many circumstances like that. oh Oh. I hope congratulations to the Happy Cup.
00:59:45
Speaker
Yeah. Thank you for your email as well. Congrats, Chris. Thanks for your email. yeah Oh, lovely. Right. Thank you, everyone. That ah brings us to the end of our first series. Hope you've enjoyed it It's been a ah pleasure to bring the podcast to you. An idea we've had...
01:00:01
Speaker
um Sorted to give John another springboard for comedy, but also an outlet for me creatively. And ah Scott, why do you want to be on this pod?
01:00:13
Speaker
Because John asked me to be him and it just seemed like the sensible thing at the time. There we go.
Series Wrap-Up and Future Hints
01:00:19
Speaker
and Another step of John bullying his best friends. John told me to do it, so automatically I'm in. I've got to the crux of it.
01:00:28
Speaker
ah That's awful, John.
01:00:32
Speaker
I wonder what those texts were, Scott. ah Please, i don't want to do this anymore. Please. I don't know what you're talking about. John just texted me saying you want to do this. i well I didn't, and then suddenly I was, yeah, it was fine. He doesn't realise it's happening. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
01:00:53
Speaker
I'm just going to go get in the shower, just hold my knees to my chest and just have a good cry. ah Yeah, anyway. Yeah, it's been lovely. and We'll have another series of you with some ah um lovely guests.
01:01:07
Speaker
yeah Maybe some we've talked about. Maybe not. um But think in the meantime, we'll couple of specials out as well. and but i think in in the meantime we'll do ah we'll throw a couple of specials out as well um So thank you everyone. Do you have anything to say, John or Scott?
01:01:23
Speaker
No. I guess the classic one, isn't it? Apart from... Nah. Nah. Nah. Good sign up. Good sign up. Keep sending your stories in because we, we we you know, we want as many stories as we can.
01:01:37
Speaker
um Where should they send them, Scott? You can do the admin. You like that? Tokishya in pod at gmail.com. Please make sure that you follow, subscribe, like and just get involved comment we want to we want to hear it all we want to hear from our listeners um and it allows us to keep bringing you another series of the pod which we have really enjoyed bringing to you so thank you so much for listening and we will see you soon see you soon bye