Transcript
Speaker: Yesterday, I went to St. Nick's Christmas Store to get some new ornaments for my Christmas tree. I was looking for those little Santa gnome ornaments. They are so cute, but I couldn't find them anywhere.
Speaker: I know they're super popular, and I just couldn't believe they didn't have them. I asked the cash register person if they have Santa gnome ornaments in the store, and they said they weren't sure.
Speaker: You're not sure, I thought. Are you kidding me? i don't know where St. Nick's sources their goods. My guess is China. But what do the Chinese know about Christmas?
Speaker: I'm not looking for a little Buddha figurines or Chinese handcuffs at a Christmas store for heaven's sake. I'm looking for Christmas gnomes. Ted Cruz says China is America's greatest geopolitical threat.
Speaker: After my recent experience at St. Nick's, I'm going to vote for Ted Cruz. I know Christmas gnomes are a small thing to get worked up about, but it feels like a thousand little cuts.
Speaker: I'm telling you, Alicia, It won't be long before we're all bleeding out.
