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Naysayers
189 Plays2 years ago
Welcome to the Uncommon Wealth Podcast, where we explore the stories of individuals who have chosen to live an uncommon life. In this episode, we delve into the topic of discouragement and the reasons why people may try to dissuade you from pursuing your dreams. We will examine the fear of failure, jealousy or envy, limited beliefs, and societal expectations. By understanding these factors, we can better prepare ourselves for the challenges that may arise on our uncommon journey.
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Transcript
Introduction to Uncommon Wealth
00:00:00
Speaker
Everyone dreams of living an uncommon life and the best asset you have to achieve your dreams is you. Welcome to the Uncommon Wealth Podcast. We're going to introduce you to people who are living uncommonly. We're also going to give you some tools and strategies for building wealth and for pursuing an uncommon path that is uniquely right for you.
00:00:25
Speaker
Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of the Uncommon Wealth podcast, where I am your host, Philip Ramsey. And I'm Aaron Kramer. Thanks for tuning in. We're grateful that you're here. Thank you for taking the time.
Why People Discourage Uncommon Paths
00:00:36
Speaker
We just are two guys. We love to serve people by helping them achieve what their goals are. Yes. Fairly decent at listening. And so this podcast is because a couple of times has come up of
00:00:49
Speaker
How do you, or why do people end up discouraging you from going down this uncommon path? Like, what are some reasons? And it's inevitable. Like, Aaron, you could probably speak to your personal story. I have a personal story, so we'll start there. When we started going down this uncommon path, this uncommon journey, I felt like there was going to be a lot more people who were going to support Philip in this endeavor.
00:01:13
Speaker
It actually was true in some cases. In other cases, it was not true. There were some naysayers. There were some curmudgeons, as they say, that were very reluctant. And so today, I thought it would be fun just to kind of flush those things out. Why is that in your life? And then also to prepare the listeners for when you get up on this ledge and you take the proverbial leap and try to go down this uncommon path.
00:01:37
Speaker
what you can expect and then maybe put yourself in other people's shoes in order to have more grace or understanding for these things. So I think that like for the listeners are going to take that leap. I mean, I personally, I've always found if you know something's possibly going to come, it doesn't hurt
Dealing with Discouragement
00:01:56
Speaker
as bad.
00:01:57
Speaker
That's a great one sided. Yeah. So I think that was the reason why Aaron and I were like, let's just talk about this and just to have realistic expectations moving forward. Yeah. Because when this happened to me and I'm excited to hear your personal story, it was it was hurt, not hurtful, but it was a lot harder.
00:02:17
Speaker
because I didn't think this would happen. So it was almost like if I would have known about this, I think I would have been a lot more prepared to be able to handle this mentally than when it takes you off guard. Yeah. So, Aaron, tell us your personal example of when you started to go down this uncommon journey with whatever it was. It might not necessarily be, you know, their financial services path, but what was your kind of headwind that you got hit with with other people around you?
00:02:44
Speaker
And mine was the financial industry. Cause you know, we're going to business. We all kind of own our own books. We're called business owners. And
00:02:53
Speaker
The first time I thought I was going to go do this, I got told by a good friend. He's like, Aaron, I want to do this. Those are really hard exams. I tried to take those exams. Oh, I wouldn't do that. I was like, Oh, so that scared me out. He's, he's supportive and he's also a client. So he, so when I'm actually initially like finally took the lead, like he was there. So, but, um, he was very nature. My dad was even like that a little bit. Okay. Uh,
00:03:22
Speaker
But then when I actually got into the business, what really shocked me was my best friend, his exact words were, I'll do business with you once you're successful. Wow. And I was, it hit me off guard real hard. I was like, wait, what, how's that supposed to work? So you don't trust me that I can't take care of you. He's like, well, I'm just not gonna put my money with you. You're not going to be around. Yeah. All right.
00:03:48
Speaker
Super hurtful because we were, I mean, we were boys. Yeah. Right. And I think there's a pride thing too, that like, Hey, when I do this, everyone's going to be at my back. You know, I think that was for me and I'll just speak quickly to my financial services path of like, well, I have such good relationships that they are going to be like, Hey, I'm here to support you.
00:04:07
Speaker
And I think they would have been if I would have asked them specifically, hey, I need your support here. Maybe they would have, but I never went that direction. And it seemed like it was a lot harder to manage people's money than I thought because I think like you and your friend was like, hey, I just want to make sure this is legit. This is going to be withstanding. Like he's going to go the long haul because there's a lot of people that jump in this industry and it's a tough industry. Yeah. And I get that 3% fail rate. Yeah. How much? What was it?
00:04:36
Speaker
93%. Okay, so I'll give you my really quick other story. It was two or three years ago, we went to Jackson Hole National Park. My family loves to do silly little hikes. We like to go to national parks, but we went to Jackson Hole. And there was a hike called the Amphitheater Lake and the Surprise Lake hike.
Overcoming Doubt
00:05:00
Speaker
And I should have done better research on this because I just kind of thought about this, but it's a pretty strenuous hike. It's really steep. There's a lot of altitude that you're gaining and it's going to take a long time. And so I would tell people that we're doing this and they're like, well, because it's a kind of a known hike, pretty popular hike, but people don't do it. And they're like, there's no way you're getting your family up that hike. And at that point I had a slight
00:05:27
Speaker
I think he was seven. That was my youngest son was seven. Um, and then like a 10 and 11 year old. So I get what they were saying, but we also had my parents. So my 68 year old mother, no, that's not true. She would probably 66 at the time and my 69, 70 year old dad. And they're like, there's no way, there's no way like, and so
00:05:52
Speaker
And I was like, oh, that's all you need to tell me. And I was just going to butt in here. I'm like, oh my gosh, for a listener, if you know Phillip, tell Phillip he can't do something. And then you're just going to see a twinkle in his eyes like, ha ha, I'm going to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so that was kind of helpful. It was encouraging for me because, or not encouraging, but it was more like fuel to my fire. Like we're getting up this mountain. And by golly, we did, we got up to this, this lakes, uh, amphitheater lake. And granted it was hard. It was hard.
00:06:23
Speaker
But we got up there and I said, hey, 2% of the population, this is what I said to my family, 2% of the population get to this point right here. And 2% of that 2% jump in this lake. And so it was me, my father, my three kids all jumped in. And so- Did you care to jump in too? No, she wasn't doing anything. I was freezing, brother, freezing. But super fun, clear. And it was awesome, fun memory.
Fear of Failure and Its Impact
00:06:48
Speaker
So, all right, so let's talk about the reasons why people might be a naysayer or might discourage your path. All right, so we have four, I would say, key high level things. And the first one I want to highlight for a reason.
00:07:03
Speaker
And it's the fear of failure. And people may oppose your chasing after your dreams because they fear that you will fail. And then they might worry that the potential consequence of taking the risk or stepping out of the comfort zone will affect them as well.
00:07:20
Speaker
and their concern for your wellbeing may lead for them to discourage you in pursuing your dreams. So the fear of failure, I think is one that I wanted to say first, because they might be right. And then I think we should probably point out early on in the show that if it's your spouse that is the one that's discouraging from this path, Aaron, what would we always say?
00:07:45
Speaker
Don't do it. Like you gotta get her on board. Don't do it or him. Yeah. You have to have your spouse be your biggest advocate, be your biggest cheerleader. So if any one of these ends up being you, you know, you're the person that you are doing life with, you might really want to think about this. So I have this first because the fear of failure, I think a lot of people either put themselves in your shoes and they start thinking like, Oh shoot, like,
00:08:10
Speaker
This is, this is some blind spots that you don't see, right? And so, so the fear of failing and it's going to affect me in some way is real. And so I think there is some kind of caution that you can take when somebody has this, well, I'm worried that you're going to fail. Then talking through that with them, it's probably the most loving thing you can do. And maybe checking some blind spots you may or may not have. But I think there's another fear portion of that and that's the fear of success. Okay.
00:08:40
Speaker
Like, I mean, I know there's people in my life that probably by, if I become successful at doing this, why didn't they take a leap on their dream? Okay. We're too scared. Right. Okay. So I always call that the second point. Oh, there we go. Second one. Any other things on fear or failure? I think the,
00:09:03
Speaker
It's not that more analytical people to be this route. Yeah, I think you're probably right. They're very into the numbers and that they probably know. I mean, studies show you're super analytical people. Yeah. Don't start businesses because they know the numbers. They get hung up in them. I mean, there's a reason why that whole.
00:09:22
Speaker
have you heard this was like the A students are managed by the B students and the B students work for the C students? I have heard this. Yeah. So I love that. Cause I'm a C student, you know,
00:09:39
Speaker
Yeah, so that's good. Okay, so fear of failure would be the first one. Second one is jealousy or envy. There we go. Yeah, that makes more sense. Yeah, unfortunately, some people may feel jealous or envious of your aspirations and potential success. They may try to discourage you from pursuing your dreams out of their own insecurities or feeling inadequate.
00:10:01
Speaker
Man, I see, I see this often where I don't know if you really want to take advice from that person. He's been working at Wells Fargo for 23 years, you know, and granted all these people may have a valid response.
00:10:17
Speaker
But if you can somehow stay in the moment and start asking good questions, I think that you're going to benefit from this in the long run. Or they're going to benefit from it for the long run by just asking like, hey, what is your biggest fear that will happen?
00:10:34
Speaker
well, and like they can't and won't articulate, well, that you'll be successful, you know? And I wish I would have done this. Like that's probably something that'll never come out of their mouth, but it's something that truly is, they could be thinking about, you
Limiting Beliefs and Lack of Vision
00:10:48
Speaker
know? Yeah. I mean, that, you probably just see people not be as excited when you're telling them that, you know, you're showing all your excitement. So these conversations typically, I mean, you're hearing Philip and Philip's always like, I'm going to hit it straight on.
00:11:03
Speaker
You know like here I'm taking that leap and when people like doubted me I didn't go ask them try to work through I'm just like whatever think what you want to think yeah, but uh, so depending on what personality you lean towards but um I think there's a lot of that I think a lot of people don't like working for the man we'd all like to like take that leap but
00:11:23
Speaker
So when you do, you make it real that it's possible or you're brave just to do it, you know? Yeah. Oh man. Jealousy is such a strong emotion first off. And so I would say if you have ever been approached by somebody who's super excited about something and you feel this tinge of like,
00:11:43
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know if you can even feel like it's jealousy, but you're like, don't do this. You know, I wonder if you really like in the back of your head at some point when you're not in front of that person can like think about, well, cause I'm kind of jealous that they would do that. Yeah. Because nobody wants to admit you're like, you're feeling jealous over something.
00:11:59
Speaker
I would say that this career is one of those that you really have to curb your jealousy because you're helping a lot of people with a lot more money than I will ever have. And jealousy is something that can creep in. That's a side note, not part of the podcast, but I do feel like, um, I've worked with some people in the past that have really struggled with how are they having all this money and success? Like I want that too. And how can we, why don't we just be happy for them? Like this is awesome.
00:12:29
Speaker
you know, and like, how can I help you even get more success in some blind spots? It was funny, you and I just had this conversation earlier, and one of our clients wants to be a business coach, and they're great. They just haven't had a lot of challenges in their life. Everything has gone well. And so I was wondering, and I was thinking about this, like, sometimes the best coaches are the people who've like, I failed so many times, like, I'd rather be coached by that person than a person who's like, I've never
00:12:56
Speaker
everything's gone my way you know everything's been really gravy you know yeah i don't know how he started talking about that but it's interesting it's hard to be it's really hard it takes a big person to admit that you're being jealous you know
00:13:12
Speaker
Yeah, I know. Like I get there. I'm just like, man, why? Like I just in our careers started going out. You're like, Oh, why is this person making more so much more money? Why are they finding so much more success? And I know me personally, this may not go to all of our listeners, but like, I wish I could remember.
00:13:28
Speaker
what chapter or book it is, but like, you know, in the Bible it talks about you're on your own path, don't look at other people's path, that's your path. And so it's like, oh, and when you look back at it, you always can tell it's like, oh yeah, all these things happen for a reason. So to prepare me for like the future. Yeah.
00:13:47
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's really good advice. It probably could be a whole other podcast. Like, that's true. Yeah. Just keep your eyes on the road of what you have in front of you and, and be joyful in it. Okay.
Societal Norms vs. Personal Dreams
00:13:58
Speaker
So let's go to the third one, which is limited beliefs. Yes.
00:14:03
Speaker
Some individuals may have limited beliefs about what is possible or realistic. They might not understand or share your vision, and therefore, they may discourage you from pursuing your dreams, believing that they are unattainable or unrealistic. Yes. This to me is like a huge one. I think it's the biggest one in my personal opinion, which means nothing, listeners.
00:14:29
Speaker
I don't, I, okay. I'm going to Kibosh this and I was telling Phil before the podcast, how I wanted to explain this, and I'm not doing a very good job, but I feel like the people in our circles and the people that we know get, we humanize each other because we know each other. We know our flaws. We've seen us, you know, you've seen them sick. You've seen them sad. You've seen them cry. They are, they are totally human, but
00:14:58
Speaker
What people start doing is when you start seeing other successful business owners on TikTok, Instagram, or hearing stories about people, you don't see them as normal humans. You put them on a pedestal, if you want. Yeah, they're on high pedestals. They don't sleep, eat, cry, have the emotions that we have. You see them as a superhero or whatever. And so when a friend,
00:15:26
Speaker
or you want to go be a business owner. It's like, Oh, it's not possible for you. Yeah. Cause you're not a machine. You're not this like rare breed, but like, they think that just because they, like they're close to you.
00:15:41
Speaker
Yeah, I think too, like this limiting beliefs, there could be something about you. It says more about you than it does about the person that's going to try it, right? Having possible or realistic, like it just doesn't seem possible that you can do this.
00:15:57
Speaker
And, and, and like you said, like maybe we're putting business owners on a pedestal or all this stuff. And what I would say is kind of the opposite of like, no, no, no. Like you need to figure out if it's possible because what if you don't, like you're going to be laying on your death bed someday, or you're going to be sitting there like, but what if, or what if I could have, right? And I think there's a.
00:16:20
Speaker
there's a perfectionist in here as well. That maybe the person that's naysaying or being a curmudgeon might be a perfectionist, right? Thinking like, well, everything has to be perfect. And I'm telling you friends, this uncommon journey, nothing is perfect, but we're constantly learning, constantly. And we're constantly adapting and we're constantly overcoming. And honestly, we're making probably
00:16:43
Speaker
25% of the right answers, but in that we're learning, right? And so why wouldn't we always want to be constant learners? And so this limited beliefs is maybe that, well, you can't be perfect. No one can be perfect. And maybe that's the fear that they have. And so, and then I also like that, you know, talking about like, maybe they don't share your vision, you know, like, Hey, I want to be the world's strongest man.
00:17:10
Speaker
Aaron, like, I don't understand it. Like, I couldn't even possibly put a path to get there. And I just don't understand the vision, right? But you do. And so who am I to discourage you from going down that path? You have a different set of circumstances. And so limiting beliefs. What would you say? I think that's a big one. So it is. But I think like,
00:17:35
Speaker
It is really fun when you go down there because as you take this journey, like people have those limited beliefs about you. But the fun part is when you take it, you can change their mind and open up their mind once you make it. Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. OK, I'm going to write a quick note so I can remember. All right. The next one is social expectations.
00:17:57
Speaker
Social often imposes certain expectations. Society often imposes certain expectations and norms on individuals. People may discourage you from chasing after your dreams if they believe that it goes against these social expectations, or if they fear that you will deviate from the conventional path, which, hello, uncommon, how are you doing?
00:18:20
Speaker
They may prioritize stability and security over personal fulfillment and passion. And this is where I feel like you and I, and not to make a commercial about us, but I feel like this is where we meet people, right? Where are you? Where do you need? What kind of needs are you needing to meet? And some people can just jump off this proverbial ledge quickly, and they don't need to have a lot of safety net. Others have jobs, lives,
00:18:47
Speaker
kids, big kids expenses, blah, blah, blah. And so they have to do it in a methodical way, a systematic way. But I will say the societal expectations, societal norms are real. And so when you say, I'm going to go do this, I feel like there's a couple things, reasons why, but like, what's the statistic? 90% of businesses fail in the first five years. So there might be like a history there that
00:19:11
Speaker
don't do this, it's scary, but really what they're talking about is their personal risk tolerance because we all have something we're getting excited about. It might be different for everybody, but if you can tap into that and think about, wait, I could do that every day. Like you're kind of like, oh my goodness, like that's awesome too.
00:19:27
Speaker
Yeah, it's different than what the society is telling you because I believe that even the educational system is kind of preparing you to be a man for somebody else, like working for somebody else. It's not telling you like, no, be the be the head dog here, like, you know, create something and and let's start, you know, really pouring into other people. And that's why I get so excited about the uncommon journey, because it's different than what, you know, the conventional. Let's don't do conventional. That seems boring. Yeah, that's my personality. Other people don't know that.
00:19:55
Speaker
I had I actually built this in my life. I had gotten a job and as my first one was my is my second real big boy job. I was working at Nestle, delivering grocery stores and ice cream. Hi. So making society that. Yeah, right. Well, it's good.
00:20:19
Speaker
Anyways, my neighbor, he was an old guy, retired and he asked me, goes, Oh, is it good money? It's like, yeah, it's pretty good. But most money I'd ever made at the time. And he's like, Oh, don't, don't ever leave it. Keep it. Yep. And I was like, I remember him saying that and it actually just really bugged me because I hated it. It's a good job and other people like it. It just wasn't for me. Yeah. And, um,
00:20:45
Speaker
And I was like, what, no, I am gonna be happy. I am not doing this whole like, oh, security thing, good security. And the funny side to that for people is just cause you got a nine to five or whatever job you have, W-2, is not meaning that it's safe. Cause he's passed away now, but I want to go back to him and be like, yeah, you know, if I took your advice, you know what happened? I would have lost my job. Cause they got rid of those positions. Yeah, that's a good point. So I was like, no job is safe.
00:21:14
Speaker
Right. So when you think about your risk tolerance, just do note that like your job is not secure. Most Fargo lays people off all the time. Yeah. And so does principle, you know, like these big companies. So this is interesting. I've spoken about this for a while, but I, we're grateful to be able to have interactions with a lot of people. Uh, and what I've seen, and this might just be my little.
00:21:38
Speaker
I don't know test pilot deal or like data center but i feel like my grandparents were far more entrepreneurial than my parents generationally right so my grandpa bought a mobile home park.
00:21:53
Speaker
Um, and it was like, this is how I'm going to feed my family and did it and provided in a, in a, in a great way, super scary. In fact, I think there's a story, I might be making this up, but I felt like right when my grandpa signed the, you know, the document to take out this huge loan, like as they were driving away from the bank, my grandma was crying. Like I get that. Like it's real, you know, like you're all in here. Uh, and so, but my parents' generation were kind of like, well, Nope, steady Eddie, you get a 401k, you might even get a pension.
00:22:24
Speaker
Um, but anyway, so I, and then I feel like our generation now is kind of like, might see a balance of two, but I see a lot more people kind of going, my grandpas are out of like, Hey, I want to be entrepreneurial. Again, my company, our company's name is uncommon wealth partner. So maybe we're just getting these people that are awesome. So whatever, fine. But I do see, uh, that's kind of interesting to think about, but yeah. And I, I think it's, there's something to that.
00:22:50
Speaker
Yeah. And, and man, I've always been the guy from young, you know, like if the fish are swimming left, I'm like, what's right? Like, let's go. Like I'm swimming upstream. That's just been my personality. Yeah. Everyone's doing that. I don't want to do it. Yeah. I'm not doing that anymore. Like I can see your parents is that question. Like if everyone's jumping off the bridge, you're going to, you're going to jump off the bridge too. It's like, no, but purely just cause everyone's doing it. I'm not good. Yeah.
00:23:16
Speaker
Right. So just remember, like, this is your life. And like, ultimately, these are your dreams. And so you have to really think about this. But just be ready and be, you know, I guess expecting that there's going to be people that you think will be in your corner.
The Role of Mentors and Communities
00:23:31
Speaker
And they just don't come as fast as you want them to. So I wanna then now say that we've all been in the industry for, man, we've been in the industry for a while, you and I both. And I feel like all of them have come around. Almost, I mean, all of them that I can think of. Or I just don't hear about the people who are like, you're an idiot, Phillip. Sure might be some.
00:23:51
Speaker
But, uh, I feel like all of them come around and like a lot of them are clients and a lot of them like really are in, like they are dialed in and really passionate about the vision that we're going to. So, but with that, like, do know like the hurt side does happen, but on the flip side, at least for me, I don't know about you felt you speak to this, but you end up finding new, really good.
00:24:15
Speaker
acquaintances and friends through this process, that you feel like that step out of the net would work to support you. You're like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. You would never expect it. Oh, for sure. Well, it's definitely a teeter totter. Yeah. And, you know, you just have to get to figure out what you want to do.
00:24:36
Speaker
But I will say that the community that you surround yourself with is important. So maybe have a mentor. We always say that that's like kind of the cheat code of life. Have a mentor that will be able to walk you through this for when the things are like, man, I thought this person would be totally my corner and they definitely weren't because that mentor is going to be able. Oh yeah, I had that experience like.
00:24:56
Speaker
That can either fuel you to go further and faster or it can really deter you. So I think having a really solid community around you to be able to take some of these things is really helpful. And we're always here for you. If you just want encouragement, I just talked to an individual who's like, hey, how do I refer you?
00:25:14
Speaker
Uh, and we kind of talked through that, but the end, I was like, what you need to know is like, every time I have a conversation with somebody, I'm not thinking to myself, how can I make them a client? It's how much value can I give them so they can go do this on their own? And he's like, well, that's uncommon. I was like, yeah, it is, you know, but it's always worked where if you give people what they want to do, what they want to do, they'll come back when they're ready. So, uh,
00:25:39
Speaker
We're right here to help, even if it's just to encourage and kind of helping you down your own common path. Thank you for listening. Uh, but don't get discouraged. Uh, we're here to inform you on what this path looks like. If you're ready to jump off the proverbial bridge, like we always talk about. Um, so any other closing thoughts, Aaron Kramer, everyone? No, I don't know me. I think you said it all. It's all good. Just keep at it. Like I said, the mentor thing, it's a big thing. If I,
00:26:04
Speaker
Had a mentor in the business beginning out grew And I like struggled and then I found philip. So It's one of those things you got to find someone that like likes your weird and likes your freak Yeah, because when you end up being out on the island, it gets really lonely. So find your people it's a big deal Yeah, and and this uncommon journey is is somewhat
00:26:28
Speaker
It's desolate. Sometimes it's very lonely. So if you need encouragement, that's what we're here for. So you've been listening to the Uncomable Wealth Podcast. I've been your host, Phillip Ramsey. And I'm Aaron Kramer. Until next time, go get uncomfortable and surround yourself with great people.
Encouragement to Pursue Uncommon Life
00:26:45
Speaker
That's all for this episode, brought to you by Uncommon Wealth Partners. Be sure to visit uncommonwealth.com to learn more about our services. Don't miss an episode as we introduce you to inspiring people who are actively pursuing an uncommon life.