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Transforming Pain into Purpose. (JP TV #153 with Lisa Heacock)
4 Plays11 months ago
Welcome to JP TV, where we bring you insightful discussions on personal growth and resilience. In this episode, we're honored to introduce Lisa Heacock, an inspirational figure with an incredible journey of resilience, personal growth, and coaching others to find meaning and purpose after loss.
About Lisa Heacock:
Lisa is a proud mother, a loving partner, and the owner of Holistic Life Coaching with Lisa Marie. She's an International Certified and Accredited Life Coach, Grief Coach, Certified Grief Educator, Key-note speaker, Podcast Host of the "Because We Love – Finding Meaning After Loss" podcast, and an International Best-Selling Author.
Lisa's life took an unexpected turn after experiencing profound loss, including the passing of twelve loved ones in twenty-two months, a heartbreaking sequence that included her niece, parents, and twenty-four-year-old son-in-law.
Determined to heal and rebuild, Lisa sought various modalities and discovered ways to channel her pain into purpose. Now, she extends her hand to help others navigate similar challenges.
Known as "The Action Coach," Lisa specializes in assisting individuals who feel stuck, lost, stressed, lack confidence, or are grieving any form of loss. Her goal is to support them in transforming their lives and aligning with their values.
Connect with Lisa Heacock: https://linktr.ee/CoachLisaMarie
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Transcript
Introduction to Lisa Heacock
00:00:05
Speaker
I am Jimbo Parris and you are listening to the Jimbo Parris Show
00:00:16
Speaker
All right. How's it going everyone? Welcome back to the show. Today we have Lisa Heacock. She is a certified and accredited grief coach. She is an action coach. She has her own podcast. She's an author. She's a keynote speaker. She has a lot of things going on for her and I definitely want to learn more about her. So yeah, let's bring her up. How are you? I'm good. Thanks. Thanks for having me.
00:00:46
Speaker
Yeah, you know, so just to get started, can you tell me a bit about yourself, who you are, what you're about, what your message is?
Lisa's Background and Message of Healing
00:00:57
Speaker
So my name is Lisa. I actually am from Seattle, but I live in England. I've been here for about 18 years now. I've got two amazing adult daughters. And between 2018, 2019, I lost 12 loved ones through death. And so my message
00:01:16
Speaker
and the trajectory of my life all changed during that time. And so on my podcast and I share my story of loss, but also of healing and offer hope to those who are going through a lot of complex grief, because grief isn't just about losing what goes through death. There's a lot of different forms of grief. And so I just share about loss and healing and yeah, offer hope.
00:01:42
Speaker
So why did you move from Seattle to the UK? I'm just curious. Yeah. So in 2005, so my husband at the time, he's American and our daughters were 10 and 11 and he was getting his PhD at the University of Chester, which is up north in England. And we were meant to stay here for three years and 18 years later, we're all still here. We just decided, we just looked at it and
00:02:13
Speaker
expensive to keep staying with the visas, but once we were in and got our citizenship, it was just a no brainer. We love it. So I'm just thinking here, you know, you talk a lot about sort of your holistic practices and your coaching sessions.
Journey into Life and Grief Coaching
00:02:33
Speaker
Can you kind of give a gist of how you begin to incorporate those things and kind of become this life and grief coach?
00:02:40
Speaker
I certified and accredited as a life coach and they really want me to kind of niche in areas of your business. And so for me being an action-oriented person, someone who's really into personal development and self-development and things that I have implemented in my own life, that was quite an easy niche for me because I was doing it and I'd always done it. The grief coaching came a bit later. I was a little bit more hesitant
00:03:09
Speaker
to do that, you know, questioning, am I ready? Am I healed enough? Am I going to carry the load of other people's pain? And the answer was more about just a calling that I've experienced these things, going through a divorce, going through I'm a breast cancer survivor. So going through these things,
00:03:31
Speaker
It really, not only do I have life experience, do I have the education, but it's a calling really to help others. So I just, I get it. And so I usually work one-on-one. Sometimes I do group coaching with grief, but majority is just one-on-one sessions like this online.
00:03:52
Speaker
So what motivated this transition to helping people deal with their career? You know, why do you think this is your, I don't know if you think this is what you're passionate about or what you think other people need from you, like what sort of motivated this?
Educating on Grief and Personal Development
00:04:12
Speaker
When I was going through the losses, I lost my parents, I lost my 24 year old son-in-law, I lost my niece, I lost friends, friends, children,
00:04:23
Speaker
And I think I went to grief counseling or then hired a life coach. And I had wonderful support around me, my best friend, my, you know, friends. And for me, it was like, I realized also some people say and do things that aren't as helpful. So I think it's really important to educate people on grief. We're a bit grief illiterate.
00:04:50
Speaker
And so if I can educate and help people who are trying to support loved ones who are grieving, that's another part of my work is grief educating. But as far as the grief support, I just know what I needed. You know, I know what helped me and I want to offer that safe space. I want to create that safe space so that
00:05:17
Speaker
the greever can be heard, can be seen, the grief can be witnessed, and they feel less alone. So for me, that was a really important part of the work that I do. I don't only do grief work, I do probably half of the other is the personal development, but they go hand in hand. I really believe they go hand in hand. So when people are grieving, again, it could be a divorce, it could be a parental alienation, it could be any
00:05:47
Speaker
that is a loss, they then go, now what? Now what? And that's when we start going down the personal development, the self development, what do they want out of life? What is it they're looking for? What are they passionate about? So we kind of take them through a whole process, but they go at their pace. And it's very, I think it's just an important, important piece of work.
00:06:15
Speaker
So how does grief work and this development sort of go in and in? Can you go more in depth on why you so strongly believe that? Again, it depends. There's different types of grief. So you have the acute grief, that moment, let's say, if someone passes away, most people are not ready to be a person into their personal development. So it is not for that individual who is in that acute, painful grief.
00:06:43
Speaker
normally, it's down the road. So I see clients that are, you know, it could be nine years, it could be two years, it could be a while down the road, when they're starting to look at their life and think, I need to work through the pain, you never get over it, but I need to talk through it, I need to process that in a healthy way. But then we link it to
00:07:09
Speaker
Life is short. Life is fragile. What do you want out of life? Who are you? What makes you tick? What are your values and what goals and passion do you have? What kind of purpose in your life do you want? So we work through that. People who go through a divorce, that's a big one. Who am I without this person? Everything has changed. So
00:07:31
Speaker
We need to look at what do they value? What are their core values? What is their vision for their life? How do we kick out these roadblocks of, let's say, limiting beliefs? Things that we tell ourselves that aren't true, but it's holding us back. It's keeping us small. So we work a lot on those types of mindset, mindfulness, all of those areas as well. So again, it's a bit different.
00:07:59
Speaker
If it's acute grief, I don't start talking about like what do you want to do for the rest of your life kind of conversation. It's completely different. That is really just holding space for somebody who is really struggling with their grief. But again, it could be a loss of a job. Maybe they moved countries and they don't have their, they lost their community. They lost their religion. So their whole faith and their faith communities gone. There's a lot of,
00:08:27
Speaker
then hand in hand, who are they and what do they want? And what I try to help people do is to create a life of passion and purpose around their pain and take it with them, but it doesn't stop. They need to keep moving forward. So I just give them incremental steps and actions to get them from here where they are now to where they want to go. I think that is crucial and it just moves them forward.
Becoming an Action Coach
00:08:54
Speaker
And I'm just curious too, why are you known as the action coach? Where did that come from exactly? It came from most of my clients. So I was hearing that word a lot, inspiration and action. So, but for me personally, I have always been the type of person who when there wasn't, when something wasn't quite right, I would look around and figure out what I needed to do differently or take action.
00:09:23
Speaker
to make a change. And sometimes that was immediately. And sometimes it took me years to do it. But I've always been one to take action, you know, pack, sell everything we own and move across the world to a different country where we've never been. We don't know anybody. I don't have a job. I don't recommend it. But that is just an example of action that I take. So what I do
00:09:51
Speaker
is I help others do the same because I believe that when we're stuck or feeling stuck or feeling lost or feeling confused and need clarity, it is a screaming sign that says you need to take action. Whatever that looks like, it could be something smaller, it could be something massive action. It is a sign that you need to do something. Otherwise, that is why we feel stuck.
00:10:20
Speaker
So I give my clients real actionable things that they can take with them, tangible things that they can take with them at the end of our sessions that they can work through until I see them again.
Transition to Keynote Speaking
00:10:33
Speaker
When did you become now a keynote speaker? Because it's one thing working with clients, but it's another thing getting up on stage and sort of discussing this to a broader audience. Was anything different? Was this a tough transition? Was this a good transition? Back in the States, I was a director of a program and I would travel around America and speak or
00:11:01
Speaker
I would be on stage and then I realized how much I loved it and how passionate I was about public speaking. Whereas I know some people would rather, you know, die than get up on stage and speak. But for me, it's something that I really am passionate about and I enjoy. And so getting up on stage and sharing is something that is easier for me. I enjoy it. I'm passionate about it. When you get up and share,
00:11:29
Speaker
this sad story, this story of losses, that's a bit different. I believe, though, that it's so important to be vulnerable. I know it's hard to do that, but I think for me, it's important to share so that people who are in the audience or who are listening realize they're not alone. And I think that's really important. But again, I don't always speak sharing my story on stage, but I just love it. I absolutely love it.
00:11:59
Speaker
And can we talk a bit about your education
Educational Background and Career Transition
00:12:02
Speaker
as well? Because I think you sort of worked in integrative nutrition, I believe. What's that about? Well, do you know what? I would never say I'm a health coach. I'm a, yeah, never. That's not really the lane that I went down. When my dad was sick, and this was in 2018, I moved back to Seattle to help care for him until he passed away and care for my mom. I mean, they'd been together forever.
00:12:28
Speaker
And during that time, I was really passionate about finding things that could help him. I knew the outcome, but I wanted to keep him as healthy and as comfortable as possible. And I found this course that was online, so it was perfect. So I was doing that integrated nutrition course, talks a lot about gut health and brain health. And I mean, it was wonderful year long course, but it's not something that I really
00:12:58
Speaker
you know, teach, it's just what I did really, I think at the time for my dad. So that was that part of it. And then when I became a life coach,
00:13:09
Speaker
here in the UK, I took a course, became certified as a life coach. For me, it was really important to become accredited. You don't have to be accredited, but I put in the hours and it was very important for me to do so. I became accredited and then I also certified as a grief educator. Again, because I felt like that was really important to be able to understand what it means to educate people on grief.
00:13:39
Speaker
And so I just wanted a little bit more tools than the tool belts. I'm sure you can appreciate that as well. So was this a crazy transition for you? Did you consider this a big jump or do you think sort of your education kind of connects well to what you're doing right now? Yeah, I mean, I felt like it was a pretty natural extension of
00:14:04
Speaker
who I am just as a person, you know, people, you know, when I was young would come to me for advice or an old daughter called me Yoda, which is so funny, but it's because I have this kind of intuitive sense and people come and I can talk to them and listen and give advice or, so it was kind of a natural transition, but going from the corporate world
00:14:30
Speaker
into owning your own business was not a natural transition for me. That's a whole different story. Going from an employee to a CEO is very different. So I've had to learn what that actually means. But the work itself and the coaching and the speaking and the writing feels very natural.
00:14:50
Speaker
Yeah, so I think it's important now to move more to the writing because you're also an author. And I'm just thinking here, how do you sort of balance creativity and discipline as an author to sort of optimize your writing and sort of maybe give a bit of a gist on your journey?
Writing Journey and the Power of Vulnerability
00:15:08
Speaker
Yeah, you know, again, this was something that I wouldn't have ever, ever thought it was not on a vision board anyway, let's just say, when my dad
00:15:19
Speaker
was sick, I started writing, just journaling. And that was just typing that I wasn't sharing it until a bit later. I started sharing and blogging and writing and found that that was something that was not only cathartic, but was helpful and well-received. And so then an opportunity came last year, I believe, to work with 15 other women.
00:15:48
Speaker
to write this book called Transforming Pain into Purpose. And that really kind of sparked, you know, writing this chapter sparked more interest in writing my story. And so I'm in the process of doing that by myself. And the discipline of that is difficult. I'm not going to lie. Like that one for me is like, oh my God, I need to write. Oh, I need to write.
00:16:17
Speaker
And if you sit there and you wait for that inspiration, it just doesn't show up. It's just about typing away and just seeing what is landing and not overthinking it. And that's hard for me. And are you self-published? It was a publishing company, AMA publishing company. Now, am I going to be self-published? I'm not sure. I've spoken to a publisher and
00:16:45
Speaker
I'm not sure. I'm not there yet. This is more of a new part of my journey. So, you know, do you think there are any specific authors or books that might have influenced or directed, you know, your writing style? Do you try to incorporate a specific writing style? Not really. I just am sharing from my authentic self, like who I am. I want it to sound like me. So I'm just simply writing.
00:17:15
Speaker
as if we were having a conversation. But I do have authors that I absolutely love that are easy reads for me. So people like Jen Sincero, she has amazing books. I love her. And I love Mel Robbins. She is another person that I
00:17:34
Speaker
absolutely love and I love their writing style. It's super easy. Of course, I've got business books that I love as well. But as far as like personal development, those two are huge for me and Untamed by Glenn and Joyal is another one that I absolutely love. And this kind of storytelling is very captivating. So for me, I just share as it's a story and I hopefully, hopefully it's engaging. And is it usually engaging?
00:18:04
Speaker
I think so. I think it's well received. I mean, I think so. I got to add humor in there too. I mean, it's super important. What do you hope to see in your audience and in your clients when you push out this book and when you push out your efforts maybe through being a keynote speaker or host? I think it's so important to be
00:18:27
Speaker
vulnerable and authentic and real like I said earlier so that people realize they're not alone in what they're feeling but one of the biggest things for me is inspiring others. I really want to be inspirational in the sense that I want people to feel like there is hope and there is healing and no matter what you're going through even if it's just horrible there are modalities and things that you can use different tools you can use to keep
00:18:57
Speaker
going. So really, for me, it is about inspiring others to keep going, just keep going. So I was thinking to you know, you're also a podcast host as well.
Podcasting and Sharing Diverse Loss Experiences
00:19:12
Speaker
How do you sort of use your podcast to sort of inspire others? For me, I started the because we love finding meaning after loss podcast, because
00:19:23
Speaker
I believed that it was so important for people to give them a platform to share their stories of different types of loss. It's not, you know, there's numerous types of loss so that they could share their story. But then always with the idea that what modalities did they use? What tools did they use? What kind of support did they have to start to heal and rebuild their life?
00:19:49
Speaker
And then where can we find them now? You know, giving them the platform to be like, this is what I'm doing because of this. And I want to offer that opportunity in their business as well. So that really is kind of the three stages. But as far as the loss, I mean, I've talked to people all over the world as I'm sure you have, and it's just so inspiring.
00:20:16
Speaker
so yes it is people who have kind of felt like they've lost their identity because it was attached to their job and they lost their job or they were in a car accident and now they're paralyzed from you know the waist down and they were a football player and these kind of inspiring stories so I really want to inspire people but what I would love to do is
00:20:38
Speaker
for these people to be able to go, I'm going to try what he did or what she did and see if that can help me too. So what are some interesting takeaways you've gotten from your podcast? And what is it called? It's called because we love finding meaning after loss. Oh my gosh, there are so many takeaways. But what I found is the resilience, the human resilience,
00:21:06
Speaker
is powerful, is extremely powerful, and especially if they have the support. So I found that individuals who have this resilience to bounce usually have really good support systems, and that could be therapists, that could be some are really woo woo, so they're into energy healing,
00:21:36
Speaker
other different types of things that they do. Some are religious. So a lot of the takeaway is not what works for me may not work for somebody else. That's it grief. There are no rules. There's no rules and there's no formula. And so that's why I wanted to give platform pick an episode that you think might resonate with you. If it doesn't move on to the next one, it's fine. There's plenty there.
00:22:05
Speaker
So, you know, what are some of the most interesting experiences you may have had in your career so far?
Career Highlights and Encouragement for Change
00:22:13
Speaker
Because you've done a lot of things. I'm just curious. What are some of the high points? Maybe special clients, special shows, special, I don't know, reviews on your book. You know, I'm just throwing things out there. Yeah. I mean, you know, listen, we can't say we have favorite clients, but the individuals that are
00:22:35
Speaker
I mean, that, you know, you want to jump out of your seat and celebrate are the ones who do the work. They will meet with me either every week or every two weeks for six or 10 sessions. And that's usually all that's needed. And when I see this light bulb just switch on and they're starting to get it and it's like, Oh,
00:23:02
Speaker
this is what's going on. So I need to course correct. I've been doing this. I feel stuck. I feel lost. I feel like there's no hope. And these are not necessarily people in the grief work. And then when they start to put these boundaries in place, they start changing the way they speak to themselves and they start putting goals together and they start blasting through it. It's extremely powerful. So for me, it's when those individuals who are doing the hard work,
00:23:31
Speaker
They're doing the grafting and then they're making significant changes. You know, they've been procrastinating on something and then they started that course that they have been avoiding for years. You know, anything like that is extremely powerful. When I am on a podcast, you know, I have a podcast guest.
00:23:57
Speaker
I think some of the most amazing ones are the stories of absolute, one I was speaking about is he was a collegiate football player and he was going places. And I mean, so incredibly inspirational. And then when he was, I think it was his first year in college, he and a friend were in a car accident. A woman was texting. It was in a car accident and he broke his neck and then he's paralyzed.
00:24:26
Speaker
I mean, and the fact that he jumps out of planes, I mean, he's like, he swims with sharks and dolphins, like he's living his life to the fullest. And to hear him talk about his gratitude and stuff is just like, really? How, how do you do that? That to me is so powerful.
00:24:51
Speaker
Excellent. This has been an amazing interview. Are there any sort of closing words that you would like to sort of throw out to the audience so that they could come home with something? Like I said earlier, if people are feeling stuck, stuck in a career, a job they hate, they're in a relationship that they're not happy in, they're feeling stuck in life. It really is a siren that just says you just need to take action. You need to do something.
00:25:19
Speaker
So that action could be go to therapy. That action could be hire a coach. That action could be read some books, listen to some podcasts, talk to friends. It doesn't matter what that action is. It just means you need to do something because what you're doing right now isn't working. And as far as the greever, there is hope. There is absolutely hope and healing. You just,
00:25:48
Speaker
have to go through the mess to get to it. You can't go around it. It just doesn't work. And especially when it's trauma, trauma sits in us and you have to get that out. You have to, you can't go around it. There's no shortcut sadly. And I would say if you are surrounded by people who are toxic or people who are not supportive, then you need to get new people. That is 100%.
00:26:16
Speaker
the very first thing you should do, get new people. Are there any ways we could reach you? Anyways people can find you.
Connecting with Lisa Heacock
00:26:23
Speaker
You can reach me on my website, holisticlifecoaching.org.uk. I see it there. And there's a place where you can book a free chat with me, discovery call, see if it's something that I can help on Instagram as well. And so that's at holistic underscore,
00:26:45
Speaker
coach underscore Lisa. And I also have a Facebook page as well, holistic life coaching with Lisa Murray. And so that is the best ways to reach me. I can be found on the website by any of those means. Well, thank you for being on the show, Lisa. This has been an excellent and informative interview. And thank you all for watching. I'll see you all next time.
00:27:11
Speaker
I'm currently working on a passion project that I'm really excited about, but I need your help to bring it to life. We'll be launching soon our very own Jimbo Paris Academy, and this is going to be about aspiring creators and creating concepts. Thank you for your support. I'm sharing free bonus content with supporters, so let's make some amazing content together.
00:27:36
Speaker
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