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Episode 34 - Hugo's House of Horrors trilogy
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The first episode of the brand-new medical/dental advice podcast: Save Your Teeth! Call your Endodontist. Eat your allergy medicine. And don’t tell anyone we exist!
The spookiest thing about this installment of spooky month is that we played these games at all. Matt and Roses review the Hugo’s House of Horror trilogy and a 1990’s 3D shoot ‘em up??? Also we talk about Phantom Fellows, some random 1990’s platform games, have a quick PlayDate with Matt, and some cool games pop up on our REVIEW EVERY ADVENTURE GAME segment!
Email Us! [email protected]
Games Mentioned:
- The Phantom Fellows
- Mythargia
- Death’s Door
- Tunic
- The Simorgh
- The Hugo’s House of Horrors Trilogy
- Skunny: Save Our Pizzas (????)
- Jazz Jackrabbit
- Halloween Harry
- Cosmo’s Cosmic Adventures
- Commander Keen
- Maniac Mansion
- Nitemare 3D
- Blakestone 3-D
- Castle Wolfenstein 3-D
- The Will of Arthur Flabbington
- Blackwell Chronicles
- Of Light and Darkness: The Prophecy
- Lost Forest
- The Last Door: Season One
- Sentient
- Ann Achronist: Many Happy Returns
Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
Have you ever had ah the thing happen where you wake up in the middle of the night you cut you're not you're kind of not certain why like everybody said the thing where you wake up from a nightmare yeah and you have you like kind of calm down and go back to sleep and you ever have you ever had it happen where you wake up in the middle of the night you're not quite sure why but you're like terrified uh yeah but i assume it's because i had like a nightmare that i can't quite like put together or my cat like put her face into my nose but that's always kind of scary yeah like there's sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night and you're just like oh i'm awake you gotta go back to sleep and there's sometimes you wake up and you're like something's trying to kill me yeah actually now that you're yeah i've had that happen so and and i'm not even talking about night terrors i'm not talking about like getting up and running away i'm talking about like
00:00:50
Speaker
you thinking that there's ghosts gonna get you or like there's somebody's gonna somebody might be breaking into your house or just like, you're just like laying in bed like you can't get the anxiety of vulnerability out of your head. So this happened to me last night.
00:01:08
Speaker
is what I'm getting at. i was I went to bed kind of late and I have no idea what time this is. I also have a habit of when I wake up in the middle of the night or if I'm like reading in bed and I realize I've been doing it for too long and now it's really, really late, I refuse to look at the clock, right? Because I don't want to know the amount of sleep I'm losing.
00:01:31
Speaker
I'd rather just live in a fantasy world where like I got enough sleep. Cause also that could add to anxiety, right? Like if you look at the clock and it's 3 AM, m you might have trouble falling asleep because you're like, I've got to be up in five hours. Oh shit. I've got to like, and then you feel pressure to fall. So anyway.
00:01:48
Speaker
So I woke up in the middle of the night last night. Who knows? Maybe it was my ah guinea pigs making noise for listeners who don't know. I have to keep my gimme guinea pigs in my room because my landlord's weird. Strange. So I woke up in the middle of the night and I was terrified of ex-girlfriends getting me.
00:02:10
Speaker
and What do you mean, getting you? I don't even wanna, like, I'm not even talking about specific ex-girlfriends. I might not even be talking about my ex-girlfriends. Because in my in my memory, there are faces that I don't recognize.
00:02:29
Speaker
Okay, that I was being scared ah feeling scared of you're afraid of like this ah It's almost like cult of jilted ex-girlfriends that they're not maybe they're not yours, but they are No one's ex-girlfriend. They might find me and get me while I'm sleeping what so i was mean I don't know! So I was laying in bed, right? And i was an it occurred to me, the way to protect yourself from ex-girlfriends is for them to see your guinea pigs, because they'll get distracted. And because I was half asleep, it was like, okay, if I look at my guinea pigs, I'm safe.
00:03:10
Speaker
So ok a minute goes by or so of me kind of like trying to shrug this off and being like, Matt, this is silly. Just go back to sleep. You're fine. Nothing's going to hurt you. But then like the thought keeps coming back up. And I'm like, I can't sleep. I got to make sure there's no ex-girlfriends hanging around here. um Or I have to look at my guinea pigs to save my life. OK.
00:03:35
Speaker
And I also, I think I had a minute of doing that thing where like, like you do when you're a kid where you think you woke up and you got ready for school and you got on the bus and then your mom's like, Matt, wake up, what am I doing? And you're like, i oh, and you've been you've been just dreaming. So I think I had that with looking at my guinea pigs a few times. Weird. um So I sit up and I can't open my eyes because I'm that tired.
00:04:05
Speaker
And so I'm sitting there just like straining as hard as I can to just get my eyes open because I'm like, if I just get these fucking things open and see the guinea pigs, the ex-girlfriends can't get me. And you're safe. And I'm safe. The guinea pigs make you safe. And I'm trying, like, I will never forget the sensation of this because I'm just so straining the muscles in my face, trying to pull my eyes open. And what's happening, I'm guessing, is that I'm still like half asleep. So I'm still like, I've got that parallel paralysis thing, right? Like my body doesn't want me acting out my dreams. So I'm like fighting that. I eventually get my eyes open and I look at the guinea pigs and I'm ah unfortunately still terrified. So I have to go sleep in the living room.
00:04:54
Speaker
to make sure to make sure the ex-girlfriends can't sneak up on me like now I have a lot now I can see the front door I can't believe the guinea pigs didn't do shit this is very upsetting and then I woke up in the living room who knows how long later and I was like ex-girlfriends what the fuck and then I just like ah sauntered back up to bed and collapsed
00:05:46
Speaker
Hey everyone, I'm pushing up roses. This is special boy Matt Aucamp. Hey. How's it going? good. ah as As you might be able to tell from our cold open, I'm sleepy. I am too, but that's only because root canals. ah So I've been having like pretty extreme tooth pain.
00:06:08
Speaker
And I thought it was related to the veneers, but it's not. It was not related to that. I had my, uh, my dentist check a lot. We adjusted my bite. Nothing was helping. And so at this point, I can't sleep now cause pain and just like tooth pain is the worst. It's up there with yeah like, you know, pretty severe pain. but So.
00:06:31
Speaker
Yeah, it's up there with a butt pain. I don't even know what that means and I'm not even going to ask. For two biggest pains. Oh my god, stop it. My number two, my my top two pains. It's a pain for me too, trust me. You are a pain in the butt.
00:06:50
Speaker
ah okay ah But yeah, um, it was really painful, really throbby. And so I, I go to my regular dentist. She's like, it's out of my wheelhouse. We got to get your, the nerves checked. And I'm like, okay. And they're like, let's get you in today. I'm like, all right. Like I'm, I'm pretty good. Like under pressure, like in, in the state of an emergency, when I have to get things done, I just do it. And I don't even think I'm just on autopilot. So I drive like 35 minutes to an endo endodologist.
00:07:23
Speaker
Endodontist. Endodologist. Wait, I gotta type it. I don't know that there's anything called- No, no, that's not a thing. I may or may not edit that out. Endodontist. Endodontist, a dentist who specializes in treating tooth pain, infections, and other issues infecting the inside of the tooth. That is correct. They are also known as tooth-saving specialists.
00:07:48
Speaker
ah That's exactly what she did, honestly. so she oh there digital ways advanced technique Did use advanced techniques, specialized tools, and state-of-the-art technologies to treat teeth? why Yes, she did. If you're talking about putting a block of ice on my teeth to see if they're sensitive, yes, special technology.
00:08:08
Speaker
state of the art state of the art ice blocks wow yeah that's exactly what she did and we couldn't we couldn't pinpoint exactly where the pain which tooth that was coming from it was i'm just like i'm like it's hardcore in both teeth So she's like, all right, we can do the the further back tooth and hope that that like fixes it. Or if you just don't want to deal with it, we can do both teeth. And I'm like, is there danger? Is there danger to that? Like, can I just go get a root canal? And she's like, yep, there's no danger to it. Just if you want to do it.
00:08:41
Speaker
And so I said, do it. And so I had two root canals done. yeah And honestly, it's pretty breezy. It was a pretty, I'm pretty stoic when it comes to being in physical pain. ah So it went by real, I was very calm, very quiet, went by very quickly, feeling a little throbby today, but the sensitivity is gone. It is gone. Like I can put the coldest ice water back there.
00:09:08
Speaker
and nothing so like why do it kept do it do it i'll so i' do it right now do you hear that it's water no um i it's it's still like a little have you ever have you ever tried not to make this dirty will you have you ever had something throb but it's not actually painful do you know what we're talking about Uh, you know what? Forget it.
00:09:36
Speaker
Anyway, it just feels a little pressurey, but that painful. like sensitivity that was keeping me up, that's gone. Why even have pain receptors? I say, get all my teeth through canals. I don't want any of it. Sometimes I think about that with ah allergy medicine, right? Like ah why not just everybody take allergy medicine every day all the time? Just in case an allergy comes up, you're already covered.
00:10:07
Speaker
ah Guys, we are not doctors, so don't get ten root canals just because pushing up roses was like, who cares about pain receptors? They are important. I cut all my i got all my canal and out and i took I took a hundred allergy pills because Matt and roses told me to. Now I feel no pain and my nose never runs. And I'm dead.
00:10:34
Speaker
so So everybody, oh thank you for listening to our medical podcast. though we it's it's It's called... Save Your Teeth. Yeah, it's called Save Your Teeth, the worst medical and dental advice podcast on earth is our tagline.
00:10:53
Speaker
um In parentheses, yeah. So I appreciate everybody listening. We're part of the Bad Medical Advice Podcast Network. um Please don't raid us. Don't raid us or review us on iTunes.
00:11:08
Speaker
um ah Definitely don't email us because we don't have the answers. Let's start our podcast, save your game. Hey, roses, have you been playing any video games lately? Well, yes, I have, Matt. I have been playing and finished ah The Phantom Fellows by our good friend Paul Corman, who was on our show just a couple episodes ago. Never heard of him.
00:11:30
Speaker
Yeah, that's nice. i love healthy you I love that guy. love guy so much. We love Paul. um I had a really good time playing it. I'm always a little, okay, here's the thing, right? Listen, I hate stamping things, but here is this is where we are. I don't like always reviewing our friends' things.
00:11:51
Speaker
it can be a little stressful because- How nervous is Paul right now ah agree listening to you? Listening to you like hedge at the very beginning of this? Okay. I think he's already like pretty nervous about me reviewing it. um Little this and does does he know that I actually had planned on playing and probably reviewing it prior to even meeting him and befriending him through our network.
00:12:21
Speaker
Um, so it was going to happen anyway, but now that we are friends, there's kind of a little extra pressure there and I will not. If you've watched the Crimson diamond review, which I'm sure a lot of you have, I don't hold back on critique because that's what's going to make a game better. Um, but especially on first, those first like solo dev projects, I think they need critique. And in a way, a Paul asked me to do this. He he's, I was going to do it anyway, but he's like, could you review it? And I said, yeah.
00:12:50
Speaker
So if you're asking me to review something and give you critique or constructive criticism, that's my jam, especially if you've consented and asked for it. But I am a little nervous. I never want to hurt anyone's feelings. But I will say, I will say I really enjoyed this game, it will be a positive review, with probably some minor critique that I don't think that that Paul would necessarily argue against. right um And they're mostly UI things. And those can always be like personal preference. yeah we like we We had just talked about how I hate first-person games. That's a right yeahs just a style that I don't like, and it doesn't mean that those games are bad. I can't wait to tell everybody why we just talked about that, by the way. Yeah, exactly. I cannot wait. But yeah, I very much enjoyed it. It's very well written. And it's up there with games that made me laugh out loud. And as you you know, because you're a comedian as well, there's, there's this thing we do when we play funny games. And that's kind of like laugh mentally.
00:13:55
Speaker
Yeah, not, yeah, not everything is laugh out loud funny it can be funny it can be amusing, but not everything gets that physical response. Right. ah There's, I think maybe grim and curse a monkey island were the primary games that can get me to like audibly respond.
00:14:12
Speaker
Phantom fellows. Yeah, Phantom fellows did get me to audibly respond. There's very quick. It's very wordy. But at the same time, there's very quick lines in there that just I think are just so funny. And it's just a lot of heart. And I think like you said, the ah last episode, if you listen to Paul on our podcast, this is written in his tone of voice, which makes it very special. I think I love it when artists share their art and their feelings and their um their tone of voice. So I do recommend it. I absolutely agree. Yeah, I haven't played much of it because I have just been... ah things A lot's been going on in my life right now. But i have but from what I've played, i I found it very, very funny and very yeah very it is very funny very enjoyable.
00:15:02
Speaker
Yeah, and I am an achievement in the game, so be sure to look out for me. There's a hundred achievements in that game. I know I'm kind of upset that I'm not finding many of them, but I'm not a big achievement like person. I sometimes, like I even have them turned off because I review games. I don't like the achievement things popping up when I'm recording. oh right um So I don't even know what I have. I don't know when I get achievement. I just noticed that when I looked at the Steam page, I had like 18 out of a hundred and I'm nearly done with the game. I'm like, Oh no.
00:15:38
Speaker
Wow. How did I miss this many? I suck. I suck at adventure games. Wow. and I know. It's kind of a hundred and you're at the end of the game. Interesting. ah Yeah. What have you been playing? Okay. So I discovered this is just randomly i discovered it in my steam library. I'm not sure when I got it or where I got it from.
00:15:57
Speaker
Oh, I love those. Those are my favorite. But I just I found it in my Steam library and I was like, I don't know what drew me to playing it. It has this um nice like pixel art style. um And, you know, it reminded me a lot of. ah it It put me in mind of um Dreams and the Witch House. just i don't know I don't know why. ah it's They're really not similar at all, but for some reason it just made me think of that. And then some one night last week I just clicked on it and started playing. It's this game called Mythargia.
00:16:32
Speaker
Oh, okay, you know what? Now that I know that's what you're talking about, I agree with you. I do get dreams. It is a different game completely. yes But the vibe, the vibe is very dreams in the witch house. Yeah, there's a dreams in the witch house vibe. And ah because, you know, dreams in the witch house has that like life sim element to it. And this has a sort of like a survival and platform element to it. um So you do have like consumables. You get bandages and health kits and batteries that are consumable.
00:17:13
Speaker
So maybe that is one of the reasons, um yeah but it's also got sort of an adventure game style. it it is It's a 2D side scrolling game, but it's more story-based than action-based, like far more story and investigation-based. It's interesting that you say that because when I look at the ah the trailer,
00:17:39
Speaker
It doesn't give me that vibe. It doesn't give me the vibe that it's more story because I guess what I'm looking at is mostly the side scrolling. So I'm actually kind of happy to know that. Yeah. So what you're doing. So you are a reporter. On an you go to this island um to.
00:18:01
Speaker
You're trying to. research this abandoned asylum that's on this island. And you find basically three ah converging plots. You find that there's like this asylum where people have been being mised mistreated. ah You find that there is a cult on the island that has been sacrificing people.
00:18:25
Speaker
And halt moment you find a mystical plant that transports you to a, like a dark void version of the island. um And those three things come together all by the end. ah But what you're doing is, yeah, you're side scrolling, like walking back and forth. And as a journalist, you were trying to put together a perfect article ah You're trying to build the credibility on this article by collecting and ah documents and collecting photographs. So as you're walking around, you're waiting for little ah icons to appear above your head. You're trying to explore every part of every screen that you're on, every location you get to, ah to wait for like little icons to appear above your head to take a picture or to ah read another document.
00:19:20
Speaker
okay or investigate some some small area. And your ending, what ending you get depends on how many of those you collected. Sounds like Shutter Island almost in in nature, like almost thriller.
00:19:39
Speaker
ah Would you say, would you, I know we use this word a lot, would you call it Lovecraftian? ah Only in the ah very only very slightly, but it I like that I can say that and everyone knows kind of what it means. It is there. You know, there is otherworldly horror. Yeah. And I yeah i definitely would call this a horror like investigation exploration game. OK, cool.
00:20:07
Speaker
Um, the other game I played, so that's mythology, unless you have any other questions. No, I'm excited to play it now. It really looks aesthetically like my vibe. And honestly, it doesn't have a lot of reviews. I don't know how many people have played it came out in 2023. So if this sounds interesting to you guys, it's not that expensive. So maybe give it a shot.
00:20:27
Speaker
Go check it out, yeah, it's pretty cheap and it was a lot of fun and it's just like a short, yeah, again, you spend two hours on it and you'll have a great little experience. yeah And ah hey, yeah, maybe yeah we can give it the old save your game bump. We'll be like, whoa, why are people suddenly discovering this game? all lavata It's all of our ah tens of listeners. Hey.
00:20:55
Speaker
You have at least a hundred. So the other game that I spent a lot of time playing, and this is this is more in like the vein of I've been a little depressed, a little heartbroken lately. So I needed just an action game to play and zone out to listen to podcasts to. And so I played on ah Bill and Danny of Escape This Podcast request, I put, not request, suggestion. Suggestion, yeah. I was like, I was like, I was like, what? They requested something? They demanded it of me. What happened there? They have pictures of me that they say they'll release. Yeah, sorry I sent them those pictures, man. I didn't know what I was agreeing to. How did you get them? Dark web. Oh, how did they get them?
00:21:49
Speaker
Look, don't ask questions. Just be just be assured that you played that you played the game. You played the game, everything's fine. So I played Death's Door is what I'm trying to say. Oh yeah, you didn't even name the game yet. Yeah, Death's Door. I played the game Death's Door. It was a lot of fun. It's it's one of those... like ah it's one of those ah it's a lot like the game tunic isn it's it's one of those 3d zelda kind of like zelda likes where you
00:22:21
Speaker
Like a, like a Metroidvania light, where it's like very actiony and you walk around and you just kind of like swing your sword at stuff. And that's how you beat the bad guys, but also the game is built around exploration and finding secrets. And, you know, a lot of different stuff is unlocked as you find, like you'll find the bombs and then you go back through all the maps that you've already been through.
00:22:46
Speaker
to find other things you can blow up with the bombs and it might open up new areas and new secrets or find you a new uh you know like an upgrade or something yeah although this is this is uh isometric which is like again if you've if listener if you've played tunic your this game is going to be very familiar the puzzles are not as in depth as tunic um but some of the secrets are pretty well hidden nice And the bow and arrow mechanic is really fun. I don't know why it just feels very good. It's the sort of thing where you aim with one button and then you sort of almost like charge your shot with another. And so like, you get a like a tactile feeling to it. But also once you fired that first shot, you don't have to charge it for the next couple of shots. So then you just kind of keep going. And there's something really satisfying about just charging up your arrow and then just firing a bunch in a row. It feels really good. And this sword combat is just like whatever, right? Like there's a roll and there's like dark souls again, there's like a roll, but it's mostly about just hitting the sword button four times and then the thing you're fighting's dead. But there's some good boss fights. There's a lot of cool boss fights.
00:24:11
Speaker
Oh, so that's fun. um Yeah, it's really fun. i Again, i it's it's on Game Pass right now. That's where I played it. um I played it very, I gobbled it up, number one, because my Game Pass subscription's ending, number two, because again, I've been a little depressed and heartbroken, so I needed to just like sit in front of my computer and let my brain die. But I, so I played it all. So I played the whole thing in like two days, ah but you're gonna get like a 10 hour experience from it.
00:24:44
Speaker
That was pretty nice, I like that. But everybody said, Matt, good vibes. No, come on. Do it! Everybody goes through heartbreak and job stress and. I thought you were gonna say job break. Job break and school break.
00:25:04
Speaker
And there's i'm in a I'm in a place at this moment where those things are kind of kind of converging. um what are What does good vibes entail? Nudes? No, I'm just kidding. Do not. Do not. Please do don't. Do not. Listen, no we share an email for this podcast and I will not. Please do not. I will shut down this whole thing and turn this pot around.
00:25:32
Speaker
unless no no i No, good vibes are like, oh, like i Matt, you're so good at podcasting. Don't give up.
00:25:45
Speaker
don't give up yeah yeah don't give up on goodbye Don't give up on podcasting. Okay, so, uh, all that being said, send Matt good vibes or game suggestions. I think, I think games, I think game suggestions as a good vibe is pretty perfect. You all know our, our, um, tastes and games by now. I think, I hope this is like episode 34. And now I am going to play for you. Theme B everyone.
00:26:22
Speaker
ah Playdate with Matt. Hi, everybody. It's Playdate with Matt, the segment inside the podcast, Save Your Game, where I talk about my beautiful little playdate and the cool games I play on it. This is going to be a really short one because I played a text adventure called- A text adventure? A text adventure.
00:26:46
Speaker
hu called the Simorg. It's like, I mean, yeah i mean all the gameplay is via text, but the, ah but you know over some really beautiful one-bit art. And so the Simarg, S-I-M-O-R-G-H, um you can find it on itch.io by ah Yellow Limehouse. It is weird, y'all. It is a game where you are going back to your strange hometown where everybody, where there's a lot of like,
00:27:20
Speaker
sculptors and there's something odd going on with the sculptures that they make. ah And you're going to like find your dad's will. It's very strange. It's very interesting. what What's so interesting. So apparently it is a adaptation.
00:27:41
Speaker
of a game from the, nineteen a French game from the 1980s that was printed in a magazine. So I think it was like a choose your own adventure sort of game. oh cool um And it was, but I don't know, cause I can't read French, yeah but, ah you can yeah for the world but I,
00:28:03
Speaker
I played it, I died a bunch of times. The other thing that's interesting about it is it just like, it's a very cool and bizarre world. Things- The art is speaking to me, to be honest. Some strange, and the font is really cool. The font is cool, look at that. Some strange things just start like, as you're walking through this town and exploring this world, again, it's all text, but,
00:28:31
Speaker
um just weird random shit happens that doesn't, not all of it fully gets explained. I haven't beaten it because I keep dying, but as far as I've gotten in, some of the weird shit that happens just doesn't get explained.
00:28:46
Speaker
ah which could be frustrating if you're looking for a very cohesive story. But if you just go in not looking for a cohesive story, just looking for sort of a bizarre fantasy mystery experience. yeah I think there's a lot of lovable shit here. So that's the Simorg. It's like a vibe. It's like an experience, yeah. And that's really all I've played on the Playdate this week.
00:29:14
Speaker
That looks, we're, honestly, this art is speaking to my heart. Yeah. If you don't have a, if you don't have a play date, just go look at the art. It's cool. Just look at it. Yeah. yeah yeah yeah Like I do and just get inspired by the cool looking art. All right. Is is is that that it with Matt? All right.
00:29:40
Speaker
with love it so much that that was That was kind of our break from spooky month. That wasn't a very, Simorg's not a very spooky game. But the art looks a little spooky. You know what was maybe spooky? That the segment was only but only like a minute long, and it was for me. So people are like, something's wrong. Something's wrong with Matt. He didn't babble on for at least 20 minutes. He's possessed. yeah That's spooky. By a Simorg, which I think is like a ah mythological creature. I think it is.
00:30:14
Speaker
Okay. So what are we talking about today? Oh man, because it's my fault. Uh, and I always think my first spooky shut up, man. This is going to be awesome. okay All my ideas are good all the time forever. Um, I just kind of randomly brought up Hugo's house of horrors.
00:30:35
Speaker
And I know, I know that you know, my viewers that this is a classic roses game. I've done a lot with Hugo. It's done a lot for me in my like gaming career.
00:30:48
Speaker
It really has. like i i I know I can say throw chop at you guys and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm kind of excited to share this part of my life with you, Matt, the Hugo's House of Horrors part. I'm so glad that you made me spend three hours of my week on them. Yeah, it's funny because i I played them again today and I'm like, oh God, oh no.
00:31:12
Speaker
we played I immediately texted you with an apology, because I'm like these like, these are not good. We played all three games. And guys, I also went and did extra some extra credit. So, OK, why don't we throw up Spooky Maxa Ghosto? Nice, nice. Spooky Draculino. Wow.
00:31:39
Speaker
While we play spooky draculino and then we'll come back and talk about Hugo's house of horrors the trilogy
00:32:03
Speaker
Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Save Your Game. I'm your host, PushingUpRoses. This is my co-host, Matt Aucamp. How you doing, Matt? I'm doing great. Jesus. Nothing wrong with me at all. Did you get the vibes that I sent you? No. We sent them over break. Maybe they're just not there yet. Yeah, I'll check the i'll check my ah mailbox in a little bit.
00:32:27
Speaker
Like your tangible but mailbox. yeah I mentally sent your mailbox. Good vibes. I still, even my intangible mailbox is like down the street a little bit. Wow. but I don't have, really I don't have a mailbox on my house. So I keep both my tangible and intangible mailboxes together. ah I usually check them at the same time, but that's a little inconvenient. Yeah. I mean, yes, but it gives me a reason to get out of the house.
00:32:59
Speaker
Well, that's helpful, I guess. Oh man, if only I wasn't like, it's kind of serious. There's so many days, there's so many days where if my mailbox wasn't like half a block away, I would not have left my house.
00:33:14
Speaker
No, I hear you. My mailbox is also outside and like just down the steps a bit on the sidewalk. And I'm like, oh, honestly, it's the most irritating part of my day. Roses, we are going to do everything possible to not talk about these fucking games. We are.
00:33:31
Speaker
like No, it's both of us. We are an hour into this podcast. What's wrong with us? Maybe after editing, people will say, like, it'll be like 45 minutes into this podcast. And we have not talked about the whole, like, the core of this episode, which is- This is the core. Hugo's House of Horrors.
00:33:56
Speaker
which is bad. It's not, listen, it's not great. Um, but I suggested it with the best of intention. I really did like, cause I have such fine fond memories of these horrible little games. Yeah. but So why don't you tell me about your experience with them before we start?
00:34:18
Speaker
Because look, we can go chronologically through the story of these games and it'll take us 10 minutes to get through all three. So why don't you tell me about your experience.
00:34:30
Speaker
So when I was a little bit younger, uh, my aunt would often, she knew that I had this great interest in computers and computer games. And she was always the first one to like gift me either for my birthday or for Christmas, something computer related, whether it was a computer or sound blaster or like a game compilation. yeah Yeah. Your aunt has been, I think your aunt is everybody's favorite tertiary character on this podcast. i right out my channel too I'm just like, yeah, my aunt gave me blah, blah, blah, blah. And honestly, ah my aunt growing up, she had a Tandy 1000. And the first game I ever, ever, ever played was King's Quest 3, followed by Space Quest. I even still have the discs with the little logo on them.
00:35:13
Speaker
Um, but not long after I had gotten a compilation set on CDs called game empire. You guys probably know about it. It's been featured on my channel multiple times. And this is a compilation set of like over 250 games and they each have categories. So you can be like, Hey, you want to play an action game today? Click on the action category. This was and this was a legal collection. This was a licensed.
00:35:41
Speaker
of 250 games. Yes, correct. Holy cow. Okay. Yeah. So, um, some of us now that's a little misleading because some of them were like shareware. So like, yeah, there was like the first level of skinny. Do you remember skinny?
00:35:58
Speaker
Scunny was gonna be a, Scunny is a squirrel. He has his own like action platformer game and he was gonna be like a mascot for DOS or something. I don't quite remember the full details. Is he like jazz jackrabbit? Yeah, kind of. Okay. So I had gotten like- Is he a squirrel with a gun? Is that where the- No, what in the world? Scunny, oh, why is he called Scunny? That's his name.
00:36:26
Speaker
I don't like this. Why are you trying to make it violent? I don't like his name. You don't like his name? No. They're a skinny cart. He had his own party cart. So look up, uh, skinny save our pizzas.
00:36:41
Speaker
Scunny Save Our Pizzas. So, Scunny Save Our Pizzas was one of the first games I ever did a let's play on for my internet career, like over 10 years ago now. And that was one of the games on Game Empire. It was only like the first couple levels though. However, in the adventure game section, there were full adventure games.
00:37:05
Speaker
And some of those games were the Hugo games. I had Hugo one, two and three, all of them in this compilation of 250 games. And I, you know, immediately I booted up and I recognize that it looks like a Sierra game. So I am stoked. I'm like so stoked it's to play this game. It's so funny. The Scunny game, it looks like so many of those DOS platformers like um like Halloween Harry, or Jazz Jackrabbit, or ah hi do you remember Cosmo's Big Adventure? Let me look it up because I might. He was, or Cosmo's Cosmic Adventure. He was like this weird little dinosaur with plungers for ants. Do we get plungers for ants? Yeah, and he would go around collecting stars.
00:37:55
Speaker
It does look like that. Oh my God, it really is so similar. Stars and fruits, I think you would call it. Why does he have plenty? You know what? That's besides the point. Because he has plungers for hands. hu Yes, but that is exactly the wheelhouse. Somebody did our HD remake ah of cosic Cosmic Good Bitch. Okay, sorry. We're talking about a different bad game.
00:38:19
Speaker
I guess we should talk about Scunny at some time. I don't know why. but Yeah, I mean, we should do a whole episode. I mean, it's it's a little out of our wheelhouse, but we should talk about all these old fucking platformers. Commander Keen. Oh, come on, Commander Keen. i would I will talk about Commander Keen for all day, every day for the rest of my life.
00:38:39
Speaker
That was a little intense, I'm sorry. Yeah, that would be actually, I think you would have a disappointing life. Yeah. It's not making it more disappointing than it is here. But yeah, so like, Scunny was one of those games that came on that was just a couple chapters or chapters ah couple levels.
00:38:56
Speaker
um And yeah, all the Hugo games were in the adventure check section. And you may remember, we talked about the last half of darkness games recently. ah Those original games were also on this compilation. So that's what I grew up on. and But yeah, I immediately recognized the graphics as being very Sierra-like. and And I was like, well, obviously, I'm going to love these games. And it they're terribly difficult ah because I think the developer, ah David Gray, or David P Gray, there's probably a lot of David Grays out there. um I think he was very inspired by some of those old games, like, you know, Colossal Cave and the Sierra, the Sierra franchises, and those are notoriously, they're well known for having dead ends. And so Hugo is not different in that aspect, even though they are shorter, simpler games, the dead ends are very frustrating.
00:39:53
Speaker
And so yeah, the for one of the first ones I play, for whatever reason, I wasn't particularly interested in the first one, which is Hugo's House of Horrors. That is very typical, like you your girlfriend has been kidnapped, yeah um and you go into this haunted house, and there are just dangers everywhere, and you gotta find your girlfriend. Okay, yeah, so let's let's let's talk about that.
00:40:16
Speaker
game real quick ah because that obviously that was the first one I played and that's why we're talking about it today on Spooky Month. yeah um This game to me, I knew it existed but I never played it before.
00:40:33
Speaker
yeah This game to me was like, if all of the worst people from Sierra, like everybody who'd ever got fired from Sierra, tried to make Maniac Mansion. It is, it is... this weird combination of text parser and you have a cursor but it doesn't seem to do much right there's verbs you can select up at the top but i don't i didn't use them at all right i don't even remember that that's how i never used those i guess there's a score system
00:41:06
Speaker
um and You start as this gray-haired boy standing outside of a mansion, and only through the only way you learn the story is by typing look, and then he explains that he's outside a mansion and his girlfriend was kidnapped.
00:41:24
Speaker
I was gonna say there's no, yeah you're right. There's not really an introduction to the first Hugo game. It's very strange. And I thought that maybe as soon as you entered the house, like I always thought like growing up, maybe that's a cold open. And as soon as you figure out what to do, you get into the house and then there's exposition. No, there is not, there is not. ah And it looks like a cartoon made in MS Paint um that leaves on the trees are very, very clearly the MS Paint spray. It's a spray paint feature. Same with when you go outside, there's a dirt path. When you go out, there's at some point you go out to like the backyard, there's a dirt path and there's like to make the bark on the tree. He'll just do one color of brown and then spray paint another color of brown over top of it. Same with like the grass is a like gray and and then it has like green and brown spray painted on it.
00:42:22
Speaker
ah it's
00:42:25
Speaker
It's hard to, you can't, we can't exaggerate how bad this artwork is. It's not great. there i i'm i I don't like to be mean about art, but I will say it's very rudimentary, it is very flawed, even for the time. Well, this was 1990. Yeah. This is 1990 when,
00:42:45
Speaker
ah What else was coming out at this point? King's Quest V. King's Quest V, yep, that's true. And Future Wars, an absolutely, one of the most beautiful pixel art games ever made, came out that year. Loom. We'll say though, this is, yeah, Loom is beautiful. Secret of Monkey Island was 1990.
00:43:08
Speaker
Come on. Okay. Well, it's a solo dev keep that in mind So we are talking kind of an indie game for the time of adventure games not Sierra This is not Lucas arts. This is one person just David gray um So for that even though yes these color combos would I choose them? No, I would not choose them but I do give credit for it and I don't know, for being completed, I guess? What am I, just a teacher giving out gold stars for participation? Yeah, I mean, because to me, I didn't even, I thought I was gonna at least find the pixel art charming. I think I found it a little, just baffling.
00:43:52
Speaker
Sure. I hope David Gray doesn't listen to it. I think but like, yeah, you're right. I don't want him. I don't want to make anyone feel bad about what they did. this is yeah And I think even the developer would be like, yeah, this is pretty, pretty rudimentary for for the time and maybe a little ugly even. Right. ah But it's still that being said, it's not so bad that it doesn't look like it's inspirations. You know, it's clearly like a Sierra style adventure game.
00:44:21
Speaker
So you walk into the the house, the first thing you see is like a scientist walking away. yeahp who Guys, you we wouldn' you you're gonna be like, oh, I bet that scientist has a big role in this game. No one has a big role in this game. ah So you walk around, you find ah in the dining room,
00:44:45
Speaker
Bigfoot, an alien, Frankenstein, Dracula, death, and some lady are all sitting at a dining room table just eating dinner. yeah And if you go in without wearing a Halloween mask, which you'll find at some point, they'll just kill you. Yeah, because you're not one of them. Let's talk about some of the deaths in this game.
00:45:12
Speaker
Yeah, you need to look like them. So like, there are surprisingly, I mean, I did read before we started recording, I read some of the comments on some playthroughs. And ok if you were younger, if you played this, when you were quite young, a lot of people did say it scared them, but especially dying. And so I'm trying to like, put myself in the mindset of playing it. When I was like, kind of younger, and if it did scare me, but yeah, if you go into this dining room, where all of your favorite, like creature feature characters are eating dinner, ah they'll be like, oh no, a human. And they'll just. Who can forget their favorite creature feature? Woman. woman Death. Death is a creature. It's just like a woman with blonde hair and a blue face. And it's like, what is that? Is she maybe the, like the normal one from, oh no, the normal one from like um the monsters. I don't know.
00:46:05
Speaker
none of us girl got out there None of them talk to you, so it doesn't matter. And you don't see any. voal They don't do anything. They just sit and eat. And then the butler comes up to you and asks you if you want to chop. Yep. even by which he hobster sniffed Like a pork chop. And he says, do you want to, do you want to chop? yeah And if you say, if you don't, if you're not wearing the Halloween masks, that's when he kills you. If he chops your head off.
00:46:35
Speaker
If you are wearing the Halloween mask, he gives you a chop. The end. Yeah. That's all you do in that room. That's all you do with the Butler. There's no, like the Frank, all these monsters have no function in the game. there's just They're just set decoration. I'm afraid some of the other deaths you walk into a room and a dog kills you. Yep. He's a Cool Joe boy. What's another death? Oh,
00:47:02
Speaker
out that We'll have to get to this when we get like later because yeah yeah some of these deaths are so insane. and um Yeah. there's It's not a death, but it's a dead end. So you have the chop, so you can throw chop, as you guys know. You can throw chop whenever you want. Yeah, exactly. That's exactly where I'm going with this. So obviously, you want to throw chop at the right time. You want to throw at it when you're with the dog, so the dog doesn't kill you.
00:47:29
Speaker
Yeah, you guys haven't played this game and you solve the puzzle by us making two jokes.
00:47:37
Speaker
But like, you can throw, I was watching a play through and the player just threw the chop, just like threw it in the kitchen and then the text box is like, it's gone forever now. So I'm watching this poor player go back into the dining room trying to get another chop from the waiter, but you can't. That's it. That's, that's a dead end. You cannot get another chop.
00:47:58
Speaker
It is gone forever. I don't know why it's gone forever. I don't know how you yeeted this chop out into like space to where it's gone forever. You'd you'd think it'd just be on the kitchen floor, but it's not. And if you throw the chop too soon.
00:48:15
Speaker
Um, like if you throw the chop before you're ready to move on to the next like act of the game, and I'm saying act the game's 40 minutes long. So, but, uh, if you throw the chop before you're ready to move on to the next act, uh, and so you leave the room and then you come back.
00:48:31
Speaker
The dog no longer is distracted by the chop and you get eaten killed by the dog. Yes. got a wait can also You can also take the chop back. I don't know why you would. Oh. but yeah So you can give the chop to the dog. Does he kill you? Yes, it does.
00:48:46
Speaker
So eventually you had to go upstairs. you got ah ah you The scientist says, hey, step into this box. And he tells a an ogre to press a button. and the so that He does. But hes like he's like a little dumb so he presses the wrong button. I don't know if he has like hearing problems or if he's like colorblind but he presses the wrong button and you come out of this box and you're teeny tiny. Just a little shorter. Yeah and then there's another one where you come out of the box and all the dirt your direction buttons are wrong.
00:49:20
Speaker
ah Another one where you come out of the box and you just have like some transparent holes in you. um But anyway, the the scientist says, I've got to go lay down and walks out of the room the end. You never see the scientist again. You never see him again. And the way you solve that puzzle is you keep getting in the box, you just tell the ogre to press it and he presses every button in order. Yeah. And so eventually he presses the right one. Yes, correct. ah He's you just got to cycle through. But OK, so once you have all the stuff you need, the bung,
00:49:50
Speaker
The bung, yep. Which as a kid I'm like what the fuck is a bung? You gotta get a plastic yeah a rubber bung and it's really hard to get because any like it's blocked by a glass door and it keeps saying he's not close enough so you have to like walk around the glass door in a way that it doesn't feel like you possibly can.
00:50:08
Speaker
yeah ah But anyway, so you get the bung, your pen knife, the whistle, the candle. And then after you know after you throw chop, you go into the basement. And this is, i so I did this, so I got stuck here because I went into the basement and I was just like, well, what the fuck? There's nothing down here.
00:50:31
Speaker
right because you just have to like walk between two rocks and there's like a secret passageway. This guy, his idea of puzzles, his idea of puzzles is just anything that will make you not figure it out. So if it's, yeah so it's a may, if he, he'll, he doesn't care. He'll hide stuff and he, without any clues, like It's very frustrating. So yeah, so I went back upstairs and then I was like, I reloaded my game and I was like, what do I do? So I went to different rooms and when you play the whistle, the dog comes running. Correct. Yeah. So I was like, okay, maybe I go to another room and I'll play the whistle and I'll throw the chop. And then I played the whistle. Dog came running in the room through chop and it was like, now it's gone. And then the dog killed me.
00:51:19
Speaker
like Oh no. But eventually I looked up a walk through, you can just walk between two rocks. Correct. Yeah. No, you're completely right. This is a recurring thing that happens throughout these games is like, you'll, but you'll get to a screen and you'll think this is a dead end.
00:51:39
Speaker
But then all you have to do is walk to like the very bottom and like yeah and things are like obscured by other things. Yeah, it makes and it's very frustrating. In the third game, you just have to walk around an area that it doesn't look like you can walk for like 30 seconds and then a book appears. Yes, randomly appears. Yeah. Anyway, you this and this part fucking sucks. So you ah You gotta, so you get through this basement area and you get in a boat.
00:52:16
Speaker
The way you move the boat, I was just sitting in the boat for so long, I was like, row boat, sail boat, move boat, moving the arrows, move, sail, move, float. I had to look it up and it's push boat. Push boat, yep. Is the only thing that works. Ooh, picky. There's so many things that are so picky in these games. So you push boat and then you go to a man and he asks you pop culture riddles about fantasy books.
00:52:45
Speaker
He's like, who's the character in The Hobbit? Where does Aslan live? yeah Who made Dracula? And you're like, why is this in this game? He asked you about a pan... He asked you about a pan-galactic gargle blaster. Right, when when culture just wasn't at the tip of your fingers, so you probably haven't experienced all these things.
00:53:06
Speaker
you would You'd have to do the the ages old, I gotta go ask my parents, I gotta ask their friends, I gotta write in for you know a clue, because that would be tough, and I think especially for younger people, right? He asked me who Roy Rogers' dog was. Yes, heat that's one of the questions. What the fuck?
00:53:30
Speaker
So this look, this actually comes back in Hugo too, in kind of a funny way. Yes. But yeah. So yeah, you, you get through the riddles, I assume. I got through the riddles. I had to look up Roy Rogers' dog. Yeah. I also had to look up what is the mammal that flies, but doesn't fly. And I like, what was that? What was the answer? Man. Because we like have airplanes or whatever, I guess. I don't know.
00:53:55
Speaker
Fuck my life. All right, go on. I was like, I don't know, Cheetah, because it can't fly, but it flies in the fact that it like runs fast. Like I was so, I was so confused anyway. Yeah. Then it's just like you walk through.
00:54:10
Speaker
a bunch of bats, you gotta play the whistle, and then they'll get out of your way, but only sort of out of your way. If you walk near them, you just die. Then you go into another room, and a mummy, who is faster than you, just runs directly at you, and the the way to beat him, it feels like, is fake.
00:54:30
Speaker
You gotta get him like just stuck on objects in the room. I think that it is what you do. I think that is the puzzle. How could that possibly be a puzzle?
00:54:42
Speaker
I don't, I didn't write it. It's so bad. And then you you get ah some gold, you give it to a man, and then you rescue your girlfriend Penelope. Yeah. The end. That's the whole thing. You don't even, by the way, you don't even like see Penelope's sprite. You only see, it's very strange. Like at the end, you see her silhouette. You see her silhouette, then you turn into a silhouette and you get married. And I'm like, this is my reward? Yeah.
00:55:11
Speaker
I can't believe this is my reward. No beginning, no end, just unbelievable. unbelievable
00:55:22
Speaker
I could not believe what I played. Also and the man who you give the gold to doesn't have feet. He's a genie. oh What right ah gene are you talking about genie be a genie? I'm thinking about Hugo, too. I'm so sorry. I'm go one yeah, if you go to is a little do you have anything else to say about Hugo what no I
00:55:56
Speaker
Look, I, I, I do think it, it definitely holds some charm for me and probably for people who have played it, especially if there was, if it was like their first adventure game, which I think it is for a lot of people, but I understand playing it today as like a standalone and being like, what the fuck? This is everything I don't like about adventure games. I want to say this house of horrors,
00:56:23
Speaker
meant that there was a picture of a bat in the foyer. I liked the bat painting. There was a bunch of monsters in a dining room. Yeah. And there's a weird basement. like that's all That is the horrors in the house. The horror her of Hugo.
00:56:39
Speaker
That is what this guy considers a house of horrors. I thought Hugo too, which is called like Hugo whodunit or or something. I actually thought that one was a little more frightening just in nature, ah because it's supposed to be quote, a murder mystery. like It's again, it's another closed circle thing. Oh, yeah, that's even worse. You thought the last story was not great.
00:57:05
Speaker
Okay, Hugo2Q done it as in 1991, and again, just to give you some context, this is the year of Monkey Island 2. This is the year of Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective. This is the year of um willie beamish ah Willy Beamish. Willy Beamish. I love that game. What are some other like big adventure games at the time? 92 was ah King's Quest 6.
00:57:31
Speaker
um Like I'm very certain of them. But I think Hugo Three comes out in 92. He released one game a year. He's yeah prolific, David P. Drake's prolific. And he remains prolific, which we'll talk about. yeah um so ah okay so you start So you and Penelope are on your honeymoon.
00:57:53
Speaker
um No, yeah you're not. you're not just You just got married and before you go on your honeymoon, for some reason you go to your uncle Horace's house. Yeah, yeah, you go, you make a stop at Uncle Horace's house. At least there's exposition in this one. Like it does tell you what you are doing. There's almost like a little intro to this one. Yeah. Yeah. And there's a little more music. but Again, ah not again. We didn't talk about this. Most of the game is silent.
00:58:20
Speaker
That's true. Yeah. Most of all three games is silent. Yeah. um ah So this one's the long one, right? Like the other one's like, you know, half an hour. The last one's like half an hour. This one's like an hour and a half or so. Yeah. um So you.
00:58:39
Speaker
Okay. but You get to the house, you're Hugo, you're still wearing the same clothes. ah You're still a gray haired boy. And now you finally see Penelope. yeah um And- She's kind of hot. She's got that long red hair.
00:58:55
Speaker
She's a frickin' babe. She's a babe, you guys. You gotta play Hugo. We gotta play Hugo, too. You gotta play Hugo, but make sure you're alone if you get what I'm saying. Matt, please. um um Because not only do you have your hot babe Penelope,
00:59:13
Speaker
You also have the, what is, who is described as a saucy French maid. Yeah. You got your saucy French maid, very, very in vet like, uh, from dagger. So, so, okay. So yeah, she, uh, she says a bunch of French stuff to you and then, uh, you go upstairs with Penelope. Penelope goes to bed immediately and you as Hugo, the only real thing you can do in the room is pick up a book. Yep.
00:59:41
Speaker
and the bookcase opens and you fall and you're gone. and you're gone to the game You're just gone. You are not Hugo in this game. Ta-da, you are playing Penelope. It's Penelope time. um So Penelope wakes up and she's gotta figure out where Hugo's gone and she looks through a keyhole and sees Uncle Horace die. Yeah, like he's being stabbed. Mm-hmm.
01:00:07
Speaker
um So you got a who killed Uncle Horace. So you're locked in this room. So you also, this is so weird. You also go through the bookcase. You fall into a basement. um You ride a dumb waiter up to the kitchen. I don't know. love I love a riding a dumb waiter moment.
01:00:28
Speaker
Oh, it's also funny, when you see Horace die, Penelope faints right away. Oh, that's a that's right, she faints. It's like, Penelope, you just woke up. We should have some energy right now. You can't control when you faint. Have some empathy for our girl Penelope. They do, he does make, dave our boy, David Gray, really makes you know that you're playing a girl, because when you see the murder, you faint. He's just like, oh. And then immediately,
01:01:00
Speaker
you go outside and um you ah a gardener tries to sexually assault you. Yeah, he's very creepy. He says kissy kissy to you. I want you to close the door and make it real private. he he God damn. When you walk in, he immediately puts a screwdriver in his pants. Yeah, if that's not innuendo, I don't know what is.
01:01:23
Speaker
He puts the screwdriver in his pants, he says, close the door. And he says, now you can do close the door. And the game says something like, are you serious? Yeah. And then now that we're like free roaming, welcome to the most frustrating adventure game.
01:01:43
Speaker
I am so sorry, Matt, because I knew about something that I should have warned you about immediately. I think this game would be impossible, like literally impossible. And there's a couple reasons why. Okay. So the first thing is what you're talking about. You want to tell them?
01:01:59
Speaker
Yeah, so basically, you find a matchbook that you need. This is an item that you will be using. And then when you have the matchbook, you come across a screen where there's just like a little bridge over some water. If you even step a little bit on the bridge, your matches will fall into the water, get wet, and they are non usable. Now, you cannot try them. I don't know why they are just forever soaked. I remember one time on this podcast, we played a game where what matches got wet and you're like, this always happens in adventure games. And I was like, does it? I don't know. It sure does, but it does. now i Now I know what you mean because it happened here. So this happened to me. You do eventually have to cross the bridge with the matches. Yeah. ah You just have to step very more carefully than the stairs on a king in a King's Quest game.
01:02:53
Speaker
oh yeah Oh yeah, no, it's extreme. Pixel perfect. And there's other shit, like you have to walk through a maze of fly traps, also pixel perfect, and you're not even, visibly, you're not even touching the fly traps. There's an invisible path where you don't get hit by the fly traps, but there are times you're not touching any fly traps and you just die. Yeah, yeah.
01:03:15
Speaker
Yeah, this game is very, it seems very dependent on puzzles that are like, like physical, or like hitbox detection. So yeah yeah, it's it's really, I gave up on this game when I was young, because it was, but like you said, it's impossible if there's so many, and for a who done it,
01:03:36
Speaker
There's not a lot of like interrogation. There's not a lot of creepy characters. There's no clues. you find You find people at the end after going on like a little journey. It makes no sense. Yeah, it's called Who Done It, but you just go on an adventure game journey yeah for no reason. And there's the, okay, this is why I think it's impossible.
01:03:58
Speaker
Okay, ah yeah, like you go through, so you were talking earlier, so we meet the that weird old fuck again, the one who gave us the riddles. He tries to give us riddles, and without you doing anything, Penelope just grabs his wand and hits him on the head, knocks him out. Yeah, she's like, no, that was stupid. I i was actually really like pleasantly surprised by that. I thought it was pretty funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah um the only funny thing in anything. And also, I'll say the art is slightly better in this game. It is, yeah. There's definitely an improvement there. um So here is why, one of the reasons I think this game is actually impossible. Unless there's a clue I missed. So at one point, ah you get bit by a snake, you put, yeah you put a you drink some,
01:04:50
Speaker
Oh, there's a big, big, big maze. Big maze. Right. The hedge maze. Yeah, the hedge maze. You could beat it. It's going to take you a long time. Just get a fucking walkthrough. Yeah, I i just tend to agree. For these games, do not play them without a walkthrough. It is not worth it. It's not worth your time. Yeah. um and you probably won't figure it out and for a couple reasons that we're gonna get to. But um one of ah yeah one of the things ah is after the snake and then you you you have a throw chop moment again, but it's their stick, um then you come out come to a phone booth.
01:05:37
Speaker
Oh, no. And you use the phone booth. She calls the cops and he's like, meet me in the living room. And you're like, oh, I've got to find the living room. Yeah. um Then you have to go into the phone booth, press dial and then type in one eight eight eight three three three Hugo, yeah which is nowhere else in the game. Really? I couldn't find it.
01:06:05
Speaker
Do you know where else it would be? i'm trying to it's been ah It's been a long time since I've played this game, because I definitely know the scene, I know what you have to do. Yeah.
01:06:17
Speaker
I feel like it had to have been somewhere. It can't, because that's a non-guessable thing. It is completely- That is why I'm saying I think this game is, maybe it's in the manual. Maybe i know I know somebody is going to write in and be like, oh, it was written on the underside of the man who you knock out. You have to say flip over man, yeah check underpants. And then there's a tag that says,
01:06:46
Speaker
half the number, like it's gonna be something really stupid. yeah um But- It might've just been, my my instinct is to say, was it somewhere written in the phone booth? and Not that I saw, also I'll say this, um there is like graffiti yeah next to the phone booth okay on a wall, but no command that I could find allowed me to read the graffiti. It just kept telling me what room I was in. It would say. Oh, yeah. I'll have to look into that. All right, I'm opening the game right now. So let's walk into the phone booth. We're playing in real time, you guys. Walk into the phone booth. Look booth.
01:07:31
Speaker
um Read walls. Read writing. Look for number. Is there another screen? Okay. So now we'll go to the next screen. Is there another screen beyond? And there's something written on the wall. Okay. So I'll type look wall. Yeah. You were in Rome street. Look, you were in Rome street. Look street. You were in Rome street. Look bricks. I don't fully understand. Look graffiti.
01:08:04
Speaker
You were in Rome street. You say look, look writing. um Let me make sure I spelled graffiti, right? I did. okay ah ah Look writing.
01:08:17
Speaker
yeah
01:08:21
Speaker
You were in Rome Street. Look text. You were in Rome Street. Look cyber. I'm sorry, where are we? You're in Rome Street. Let me look a walk through up real quick. Spray paint, maybe.
01:08:35
Speaker
I don't know. You were in Rum Street. Yeah. Yeah, so if that's where the number is, and then you walk one more, and it loops back around, and you're back at the phone booth. um
01:08:48
Speaker
I'm just, i'm I'm shocked. I'm really shocked. How did I even, how did I? You must have read a walkthrough, right? Yeah, later on, I must have. Like I can kind of like sort of slate. Nope, I can't. I can't put it together. Oh, okay. All right. Did you get it? Read wall. Yes, I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Okay. Read wall for now. to all of this Okay. So then it sends you, it's just copyright infringement. It sends you to Dr. Who planet and you shoot Dalek. Yeah.
01:09:23
Speaker
Oh, you find a gun in the maze. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It had like I. Yeah. OK. Phew. Although one of those commands should have worked. That's ridiculous. There's so much stuff like this in these games. There's so many things that you're like, why on earth would this not? Yeah. This is exactly why people don't like text parser games is because they they don't feel like they can type anything.
01:09:53
Speaker
because nothing nothing fits, right? Even the Sierra games had more syntax than that, though. That's pretty ridiculous. Look, wall should have worked. Some other things I'll say is like at some point um you walk into a room, it has all the the plants look exactly the same as the inactive plants in the rest of the game. But you have to type in pick up catnip. And you yeah if you look at the room, she'll mention that there's some catnip on the ground. But again, it looks exactly the same as just the tufts of grass everywhere else. um So you wouldn't.
01:10:25
Speaker
So again, these are all these reasons that I think this game is impossible, right? um Yeah, yeah, for sure. ah later, you have to use that catnip. So you finally get to, so okay, sorry. You shoot the Dalek, you get the sonic screwdriver from play fucking Doctor Who. As a kid, I didn't know what Doctor Who was, so this went way over my head when I was young. I'm like, I don't know, what is this? He should, how did he not get sued for this? I don't know. And I wanna also like,
01:11:00
Speaker
because he you use the word Dalek. So yeah I also wanna, we're gonna have to talk about this. And why don't we talk about it now? So at some point ah during the AGS era, somebody remade Hugo's House of Horror in a Adventure Game Studio.
01:11:14
Speaker
yeah um
01:11:17
Speaker
Gray sent them a cease and desist letter. yeah And like- Dude, you used the doctor in a dolick and and the fucking doctor who phone book in your game. You don't care about copyright. That's so a good, that's such a good point. So here's the thing about real quick, just real quick, real brief. yeah The thing about fan art, cause did you, ah so I'm an artist. I don't know if you knew that. Oh, wow. Weird. Okay. All right. Yeah. So like, I know some stuff. I have to,
01:11:48
Speaker
alter my opinion of you now. Oh, that's fine. I'm fine with it. okay Yeah, I'm fine with that. I'm used to it. I just didn't know so I didn't I was I was evaluating you all wrong. So um I've lost respect for you continue. Oh,
01:12:03
Speaker
Well, you thought it gained respect. Oh, i I thought we were on the same page. I hate art. ah yeah hurt Okay. Psycho. Okay. Okay. yeah Yeah. So as an artist, so like as an artist, so fan art is kind of a weird area. Um, essentially.
01:12:25
Speaker
Yes, you as the owner of the art can sue or make a cease and desist. So if I did, for example, I've done some fan art of Fran Bow being on topic, and it would be in the developers rights to say no, do not do that. That is in their right. They own it. I don't However, it's also looked at as a dick move. And that's why it doesn't happen very often, right? You'll see a lot of fan art stuff that's totally and completely fine. Because it is a dick move to just to sue or do a cease and desist for those reasons. The bigger companies will do it like Mario. um Nintendo is notorious.
01:13:06
Speaker
for stuff like this. Right, and I think there's, and there's some differences. Like if you're making shirts with ah with a ah thing that you like's logo on it. yeah You're more likely to get a cease and desist and it's not, it won't be considered a dick move because you're not doing anything transformative or expressive. You are just using a brand. and ah So that's that's one thing. I remember the McElroy brothers, there was a big thing about that. People were just selling t-shirts that said the adventure zone on them. And they were like, hey, cease and desist, and people got so mad. And it's like, look, if you had been doing something cool,
01:13:43
Speaker
maybe they wouldn't have gotten so mad. yeah but um But yeah, like, so I get it. And there's fair use, but you have to be, and you have to be transformative. correct um I can see how a, or or it has to be parody, right? yeah I can see how um a fan game that's just a straight remake Right. Isn't transformative enough. Right. But also, again, you're a guy who just put Doctor Who and a Dalek in your game and called it a Dalek and called him Doctor Who. Yeah.
01:14:26
Speaker
And that has to be so heartbreaking for whoever made the remake. Cause you know, if you're doing that with Hugo, like that means you like it. People don't waste time on old kind of flawed games like this. It's passion. Yeah. It's gotta to come from passion and passion that most people don't have. So like this guy's alienating like, uh, two of his 20 fans. Oh no, so i and suck though that does suck
01:14:57
Speaker
So, so and yeah, again, what what what drives me crazy about it is, again, just that he seems to not care right about stealing other people's... Like actual characters, yeah. And there's one reason why I feel a little bit better about being a little mean to him and we'll get to it in the next game. Oh, great, okay.
01:15:23
Speaker
um But actually, I do feel a little bad. So why don't we move on from this topic? Okay, so the as we move on through whodunit, now we come to the whodunit portion, and that's that's your bag, baby.
01:15:35
Speaker
yeah what the fuck happened there so so as you can imagine um little wee roses is so excited to get to the whodunit part of this game only to find that none of it matters like there's a few characters you finally get to talk to like you get to the house area and you finally get to talk to the family members of uncle horace and you discover some interesting and maybe incriminating things about the family and the will But you know what? It doesn't fucking and doesn't matter. You know why? ah Yeah, I said, I agree. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Everybody you meet it's is hiding a weapon.
01:16:16
Speaker
ah Well, I guess not. You find out one person's just hiding a photograph, and that's why, yeah. Right. A photograph, a weapon, one person seems to be bleeding, but they're just making pot roast dinner. Everyone's acting, yeah. There's one person you tell about the death, and he just laughs.
01:16:34
Speaker
Yeah, and like uncontrollably. So like, is this a psycho situation? But again, none of it matters. There's not a lot of this, by the way, these are like one instant, instance things, you don't have to go back and talk to characters or inquire or interrogate them. Because unfortunately, the cops arrive And then we get, and then ah for some reason, Penelope figure, I don't know how. She says, I know who did it. Yeah. And he's like you're like, what? And they're like, okay, who did it? And she's like, nobody. You answer. You have to type in nobody. You have to type in nobody. You have to answer. There's nothing to suggest this. In fact, the answer comes after this part where we're sent back to play Hugo again. Your Hugo.
01:17:25
Speaker
Yeah, and we get a little cutscene of him running into Uncle Horace and Uncle Horace is like, I really need work on like my murder mystery play, or like my act that I'm doing. And essentially, that is what we saw. We saw something that wasn't real. It was just an act. Uncle Horace is not dead. None of this evidence matters. These characters don't matter. And I don't know how we know that. I have no idea. Nothing matters. Let's order a pizza.
01:17:56
Speaker
So fucking game three, Hugo three, i love the mac gets mad Jungle of Doom. yeah It's apparently a lot of people in the world's favorite thing. It's my favorite thing. So maybe that's why I get dumped so often.
01:18:18
Speaker
Like, oh, it'll be just, fun what why won't it be fun?
01:18:26
Speaker
ah Okay, no, ah Hugo 3, Jungle of Doom. Yeah, jungle doom. This is one of this is the ah at the time, the only Hugo game that I actually beat um when I had it on Game Empire, because I thought it was the easiest. Looking back, I'm not sure how I really got through it. Maybe I was just a very creative, strange child, which is probably true. But yeah, this was like the breeziest of them all.
01:18:53
Speaker
i yeah I had to look up the, ah well I was playing it on a time limit but also I had to, but so I did have to look up a wall for a couple parts and we'll talk about them. But you and Penelope, okay Hugo apparently is also a pilot. And he's still wearing the same clothes. That's not true, he's wearing a hat. so In a second he will be.
01:19:20
Speaker
he changes his clothes for the first time in this game so You guys crash land somewhere in Brazil. He just calls it South America. And it is just a hodgepodge of other tropes. He says that you crash in the Amazon rainforest. You do crash by the Amazon. The map shows it is by the Amazon. um you get bitten ah Penelope gets bitten by a large venomous spider. And then a topless native girl yep appears yeah and says,
01:19:51
Speaker
Oh, we have a special antidote. You have to go get ah water from the... Like the magical pool of something. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Also, at some point, you make basically a voodoo doll. Okay, with no hints. no With no... Yeah, that's true. With no hints. There's like there's there is a witch doctor.
01:20:15
Speaker
um there which, you know, are traditionally not associated with the fucking Amazon. Right, yeah. um It's a very trophy. Neither are voodoo dolls.
01:20:29
Speaker
um It is very much, that yeah, you go to ah a village full of like thatched roof huts. It is, there's no other way to say it, it's racist. This is a racist game.
01:20:46
Speaker
It is racist. The only thing I can say about it that is even a little redeeming is that the native people in the game are not. they're not like mean or portrayed as like cannibalistic like you might see in some media, especially in horror media, you'll see like the native people being cannibals or trying to kill you or they are the bad guys. This so that is the nicest thing I can say about that. But overall, it is still even though they are quote friendly, but it is still on it. It is still Yeah, it is still a racist depiction of this. Yeah.
01:21:23
Speaker
And they do comment on that. Like at some point they start speaking English and it's supposed to be kind of funny that they know English. At some point they say that they're not cannibals and again, it's supposed to be a little bit funny. And ah you know the witch doctor Yeah, he actually does try to kill you, I think. Does lock you in a cage. He's got bones scattered all about. um Yeah. He's cooking something in a big pot. He has what are clearly supposed to be African shields, like Zulu shields. Sorry, I don't mean to just say African.
01:21:59
Speaker
I am as indoctrinated into the racist Africa as a country thing as everybody. I'm trying to break the habit, I apologize everybody. um But ah there's Zulu shields, like what are clearly supposed to be like the stereotypical like, yeah you know, oblong pointed um decorated, like it is. There's like a cauldron ah implying mystical stuff and magic. yeah he's just It's just like, we're supposed to be in the Amazon.
01:22:28
Speaker
right not Africa and you don't even know a thing about Africa you don't know a thing about South America you don't know a thing at some point you run into an elephant and then he met and then again the game makes a joke like I know there's not elephants in the Amazon. ah This one just escaped from a zoo. yeah Which is a little funny, but also like, okay, that would be funnier if everything else in this game was accurate and not just a hodgepodge of stuff you don't know about foreign people.
01:23:01
Speaker
Yeah, it's it's weird. um And like, when I played it as a kid, it didn't read like that, obviously, because I knew nothing as a kid. So I didn't I i was just like, Oh, these this is what it is, I guess. That's the dangerous thing. That is the danger. Yeah. That's the dangerous thing is as a kid, you don't know what what that what you're looking at is a like a series of mismatched stereotypes. And then you just think of anybody that lives in a forest, anybody that doesn't live in a ah urban or suburban environment as some sort of weird savage and that they're all the same. And it's...
01:23:43
Speaker
It, I, this is a thing, especially, ah hey here, this'll be my new thing, the way that you, ah you're always commenting ah as an artist, as an anthropologist. I don't stay it like that, I'm so offended. As an anthropologist.
01:24:00
Speaker
ah it particular this stuff particularly gets to me. Yeah, no, it is it is very bothersome. And when I went back and and played, I'm like, oh God. And it's it's not it doesn't matter ah that it's not malicious. It's not malicious. It's just extremely ignorant and racist all the same. um yeah it's And I do kind of wonder about like making games like that without,
01:24:27
Speaker
you know, pub culture at your fingertips without people telling you ah what the right way to do something is without getting any feedback. And you know, I wonder if it would be different had we had that have we had the research, you know, available at the time. Yeah. um So yeah, that that does suck. It does suck about this game for sure.
01:24:47
Speaker
Right, and he's clearly influenced by, you know, and it says this on the wiki too, Indiana Jones and Tarzan, but those also suck. So, so yeah ah yeah, you find this, whatever, you go through the forest, you find this village, what what are some of the bad stuff? What are some of the, oh, okay, very early on you look in your airplane, ah and it takes you to like a unique screen,
01:25:14
Speaker
where you collect a bunch of starting inventory items. Yeah. um you I tried, exit, leave, yeah get out, close door, go away from airplane, move, move, walk away, move, leave, get out, go, leave, stop, no. And I tried like everything, it's go back and that's the only thing that works to get out of the screen. yeah Unbelievable. I don't know how I figured that out. I don't know, I was a particular kid with nothing better to do, I guess.
01:25:50
Speaker
Oh, here's another ah stupid pet peeve of mine, and this is very pedantic, but at some point, um you you show somebody or something, I think maybe you do something to the elephant, and the game says that the elephant is nonplussed, to mean it doesn't care. yes That's not what nonplussed means.
01:26:12
Speaker
right Nonplussed means angry, nonplussed means that's, I know that now there's this informal use of it, but it means that you're confused to the point of being yeah angry. Yeah.
01:26:30
Speaker
don't and yeah I think it yeah, I totally know what you're talking about. So like, it was being used as like non pluses, like, um like, almost like non reactionary, like, which is something i yeah, so people use it. And it's just not what that word means. It sounds like that's what it is. Yeah.
01:26:52
Speaker
i know this is the pedanttic a thing that annoys me um Okay, so what What is even the plot here? You're wandering around just doing stuff for people. You just you just need to find the special daughter for Penelope. That is it. You get bouillon cubes to the natives so that they can for once make their meat taste good, which is insane. um Oh, the white guy showed up and taught the... Taught him how to cook. Yeah, yeah. Taught the South Americans how to make food more ah seasoned.
01:27:28
Speaker
you have to like um You have to get rid of a spirit by casting a spell with a spell book and a candle. This is the game, though, where you do wander around. like There's this one point to find that spell book. Yeah. You just like walk around near some grass. Yeah.
01:27:47
Speaker
and it just appears. It appears, like you you like yeah you like kick it up, you like run over it. Some of the craziest puzzles, you gotta get you have to you have some clay and some pins, you have to get captured by the witch doctor, and then you say, ah what turn clay into effigy, stick pins in clay. I feel like I just said mold clay. I think that's what, i think I'm pretty certain.
01:28:15
Speaker
Okay, you do have to say stick pins in clay. You can't say put pins, use pins. Yes, correct. You have to stick pin. But yeah, and it makes like a voodoo doll and then it stabs them and the witch doctor falls over. Not dead, but like convulsing or something. Yeah, yeah. And then you capture a mouse, you show it to an elephant. So the, okay, you hit, you shoot some, you use a blow gun.
01:28:44
Speaker
to shoot tranquilizer darts into the elephant. ye Then you release the mouse and then the elephant runs and sits down. If you do it in that exact order, quickly enough that the elephant doesn't fall asleep, the elephant will run to the next screen, sit down, stop an entire river so that you can get under the waterfall to go get the magical. To go get the magic water, yep.
01:29:10
Speaker
And then you're done. The game's over. That's the fucking whole game. It is a very short game. Oh, you have to get the crystal ball for that same fucking old man again. Yeah, he's back, you guys. The riddle guy. And the way you do it is ah you find a scroll that says it's near a boulder. So when you find a boulder, you have to type look behind the boulder. Yes, which I.
01:29:34
Speaker
Honestly, that is kind of bullshit, right? But I don't mind puzzles like that. Cause again, I grew up ah on Sierra games where you do need to look under and over and on top of. So that is something that like comes naturally to me, but I can see why people might not appreciate that. That's the Hugo trilogy. Everybody it sucks. Matt loves it. Um, okay.
01:29:58
Speaker
He did make some other games, some other Hugo games. yeah They are first-person shooters. They are called Nightmare 3D. And this is the extra credit I did. I suffered for you, my dear listeners. I played Nightmare 3D. I ah bought it for six bucks.
01:30:21
Speaker
off You can still buy all his games off his website. and We'll talk about it in a second. um But ah for six bucks, I bought his trilogy, ah the Nightmare 3D trilogy. And it's just, ah you know, like Duke Nukem, Doom, Blake Stone, that era of first person shooters. It's like Wolf 3D. To me, it's like almost exactly Wolf 3D, yeah.
01:30:43
Speaker
So you, yeah, basically you have a ray gun, you walk and ah monsters like mummies and Frankenstein's and witches and bats walk up to you and you just shoot them with your ray gun. um yeah And ah the other thing you do is you walk up to every single wall and press space bar, right? Like the game will tell you and yeah how many hidden panels you found in each level. I got through the first one, like got such a bad score, I replayed the first level. And I 100%ed it. Basically you just walk up to any wall that looks weird and any bookcase and press space bar and you'll find it. um Also you beat the first level by climbing in a dumbwaiter. Hell yeah.
01:31:34
Speaker
And then you get the red key, use the red key and red door, find the ID card, use the ID card. in just And again, fucking Wolfenstein 3D, Blake Stone, it is the the exact same game. um And then all the other levels look exactly the same, you're just walking around the mansion. If you played one level, you've played the whole game. yeah um Okay, do you wanna know where I found this?
01:32:03
Speaker
Yes, they do. Nightmare 3D? Yes, they do. So if you go to... I'm so excited. dgray.com, you will find that our boy, but the David P. Gray, is still active. He now makes ah but Windows 3.1 style looking ass, digital jigsaw puzzles. Jigsaw's galore. Guys, it's called jigsaw's galore. This is my favorite thing that I've ever found. You can go and you can buy digital jigsaw puzzles for $10 each. Oh, 10 bucks. Oh, they're sets, sets for $10 each. Okay. How many are in a set? Oh, a lot. Okay.
01:32:58
Speaker
You get a lot of, jigs you got a lot of digital jigpos jigsaw puzzles for 10 bucks. um But yeah, they look like Windows 3.1. They're very pixely.
01:33:08
Speaker
they Wow. um I really want to make a digital, I'm inspired. I want to make my own. He's also got a Facebook page called Jigsaw's Galore. ah His Facebook page has 2.3 thousand followers. Hey, it's pretty good. um Yeah, that's about how many downloads we get per episode. Which is pretty good. let me um He's got testimonials on his website. Oh.
01:33:37
Speaker
Let's see, some testimony. Oh. David, this is fabulous. You have no idea how much fun I've had and continue to have with Jigsaw's Galore. I am the Jigsaw Queen. It was so great to see you came out with new versions of Jigsaw Galore's. Of course, I immediately ordered the CD since I'm very much into animals. I love the concept of having animal pieces to play with. Thanks again for the great work. um This is my favorite thing ever.
01:34:05
Speaker
So if you guys want to support, and I'm sure he's barely racist anymore. So if you guys want to support David P. Gray, go to Gray Design and Associates, his his website, Gray Design Associates. You can also just go to Jigsaw's galore.com. Oh, okay. Fun.
01:34:24
Speaker
ah Maybe I should buy one and review it. And you can also, I don't know how to find it, ah from like, I don't know how to navigate to it. Yeah. On his website, but you can somewhere on this website, cause I did it, download ah purchase both the Hugo, oh, it's in purchase. It's in it's a purchase, yeah. Both the Hugo trilogy and the Nightmare 3D trilogy, both of which you have to play either in,
01:34:51
Speaker
you play Hugo trilogy and scum VM, you can play ah either of them in DOS box. This is gonna be our ah longest episode and it's about Hugo's house of horrors. What's wrong with us? Do you have anything to say to our listeners before we wrap this up and go rank some adventure games?
01:35:15
Speaker
ah Thank you for putting up with this. Thank you for tolerating. um We love you so much. ah Stay hydrated. Get plenty of foliage in your diet.
01:35:28
Speaker
and ah ah you know We're part of the Adventure Game Hotspot Network. Go check it out. A lot of Adventure Game content is going on over there. And if you really are mad at us ah for suggesting Hugo, you can email us at mattandroses.gmail dot.com. And i guys, come back next week when we're gonna be talking about a good game and an actually spooky game. and yeah Next week, I believe we're talking about Para Normans. I said Norman. Now you said Norman.
01:36:01
Speaker
I believe next week we're talking about Paranorma site, the seven mysteries of Hanjo, so. I think you mean the 13 ghosts of the temper of A Man Ra. All Lay spooky Dracula-no.
01:36:32
Speaker
Hey, everyone. Welcome back. Pushing up roses here with my very special, very extraordinary. Oh, that rhymed. Holy shit. I didn't even mean that. Very extraordinary. Doesn't it? Very extraordinary. Yeah, it sort of does. It's Matt Aucamp. Hey. Hey, what's up? Are you ready for our final segment?
01:37:03
Speaker
he's ready yeah So welcome to this segment everyone, if you are new here. ah Matt, genius boy Matt, came up with this segment where we rank every single adventure game, whether we played it or not. Yeah, that's right. Even if we haven't played them, they're gonna go on a list.
01:37:24
Speaker
And is that fair? No! No, it's not fair. It's really not. Am I a fair person? No, and I never claim to be. Is it fun? Fuck yeah it is.
01:37:38
Speaker
No, we never claim to be fair. on this podcast. If anything, we might infuriate people with our list. But yes, we Matt has compiled a list. Just so you guys know, we did call it a little bit, but for the most part, it is going to be... a it what How many games are on there? Like 3,000 adventure games? Yeah, like 3,200, yeah. 3,200, yeah. And so we are just going to continue with our ranking. I think at number one, it's still Portal.
01:38:06
Speaker
Number one's still portal, number 41 is weird truth is stranger than fiction. We got a question, by the way, ah from ah from a listener who asked, is there a place where interested listeners can download that list of all the adventure games so we can ah peruse the list and play along at home? and Thanks. um Let's see. I think we should put out the list of ones we have already ranked.
01:38:33
Speaker
Yeah. I don't know if we should put out the whole games list somewhere. Oh, I see. I thought they were asking for the ranking. I thought they were asking for the rank. It sounds like they're asking for both. um We'll think about whether or not to put out the full list of games that we haven't ranked yet. um But I think we should put out somewhere the list of games that we rank. In fact,
01:38:58
Speaker
I think this is just incentive listeners um for us to start, we were thinking about doing this anyway, to start an Instagram account for the podcast, and then maybe after every episode, we will ah update this list. Yeah. I like that. This is good incentive. And you you like you won't get it maybe as a... yeah Maybe you won't get it as a... ah ah Excel spreadsheet, but you'll get it as like an image. All right, so are you ready to rank some adventure games? Yes. um Okay, so I have them all numbered, and I use a random number generator to pick them at random, and... i
01:39:46
Speaker
we are also allowed to skip one per episode, which we've never done. So. We've never done. And I don't know if I feel guilty. I don't know what's going on. There's something that I need to unpack with that phenomenon, but. All right. I've i've been ready for this all day, so hit me. First game, ah number 3,208. Oh. I don't know much about this game. I just know, I know the name. and It is called The Wheel of Arthur Flabbington.
01:40:15
Speaker
It is a- Flabbington? Flabbington. I think it it is an adventure. and It looks like an AGS game. At least that's what I always assumed it was. yeah um ah Pixel art, kind of cartoony, looks pretty ah like LucasArts inspired.
01:40:34
Speaker
um yeah Seems like a dude and a ghost. ah A dude and his dead uncle oh as a reluctant ghost sidekick. Yeah. And talk about things I don't want in life as my ghost uncle coming back and helping me look for loose cranks in adventure games. No, thank you. It's my Guga games and it was from 2023. It looks kind of like a silly version of like the Blackwell Chronicles.
01:41:02
Speaker
Yeah, honestly, I would love to give this game a chance. I think this looks really good quality. It's got very positive reviews. It's been on my Steam wish list forever. Yeah, I would love to put this pretty high. I think so too. i Now, there's something about it that if I were, again, if I were to see this on Home of the Underdogs, I would pick it up. I would play this.
01:41:30
Speaker
It doesn't have the most, like it doesn't, it's not intriguing me with like, oh, what an original concept or anything. right it Again, it just kind of looks like an AGS game that's inspired by stuff we already know and like, um but i people sort of rate it highly and sometimes you're just in a mood for a fucking regular ass point and click adventure game. huh yeah um So I don't know. um
01:42:00
Speaker
I think, all right, I'm gonna throw out my initial thought. ah huh And you you tell me where you're at. I think it goes around Ben Jordan in the 1920, 21 area. That is very fair. Does it go above or below?
01:42:19
Speaker
I don't know, it's I think this is, I'm sure the creator of this game has played all the Ben Jordan games. I'm sure Ben Jordan was an inspiration on the will of Arthur Flavington. um So I'm thinking maybe it goes like, maybe just like right below. I'm okay with it. Okay. But know that that was a difficult choice. Okay, all right. but ah All right, next we have number ah five.
01:42:50
Speaker
46.
01:42:54
Speaker
what Here's a real adventure game title of light and darkness, the prophecy. Why does that come up right away in my Google search? What is happening? It would not surprise me if you have Googled this game before.
01:43:11
Speaker
Okay, so, okay. Yeah, it's by Interplay, ah Developers Tribal Dreams. It's a point and click adventure game. ah it It looks like... um It's 1998, it's ninety ninety eight definitely in that mist clone era. um Yeah, it is, which I don't like. And it's got sort of a horror element to it. It's like that bad 3D, but maybe it looked maybe it was good 3D at the time. No, this gives me the ick. When I say that this gives me the ick, it means that I'm getting bad mist vibes or bad of the time.
01:43:49
Speaker
it's on oh it ist dog yeah Yeah, I I've never ah this is another game I've never played Listen, it's got a three point four though on dog out of five. It does have bad It does have miscloned vibes um It and a but a little bit like that weird um 3D animation where you just have like objects floating in space yeah that are just like but weird and kind of like um abstract. There's a screenshot here of two emaciated children. Great. Great. are Like they're they're rotting. And this was released in 1998, just to give you an idea of like the 3D-ness of it all. Yeah. This goes in
01:44:39
Speaker
To me, this is a personal thing. It goes pretty fucking low because I'm so annoyed. 1998. Yeah, this is kind of exactly the sort of shit you don't like. ah Correct, it's everything. It ticks every box for things I don't want. ah i Yeah, I could see there being, there's a little bit of it that reminds me of like shivers. I could see that, so but I don't think it has Oh no, I accidentally clicked buy it now. Uh, okay. Thankfully it wasn't logged in.
01:45:13
Speaker
ah wow um ah So I don't, I just don't, I don't know where, why don't you, why don't you give me like your first, your initial thoughts?
01:45:31
Speaker
It's going to go close. Oh, my God. No, what but what it's going to go pretty low. It has James Woods in it. It has to go so low. You don't even understand. ah um I don't want to put it as the last because I don't know. I mean, maybe it does. Maybe it does. OK, maybe this is the last one. You know, because I think when we say it's got that weird floaty.
01:45:55
Speaker
um ah that weird floaty 3D animation stuff, that's all weird truth is stranger than fiction was made of. i right yeah So when we're when we're when we're saying like, oh, it has the element of elements of the worst game ever, ah that means it's better than the worst game ever. I would put it in the last five.
01:46:20
Speaker
and i I'm good with putting it as the second to last, as 42. Let me look at Mystery of the Nautilus one more time before I put it below I think i I'm a little more intrigued by Mystery of the Nautilus than I am by ah yeah light and Of Light Darkness the Prophecy. is it ah Is it a sequel, by the way? I don't know. Of Light and Darkness the Prophecy. Was there an Of Light and Darkness and then Of Light? Yes.
01:46:48
Speaker
Wow. ah I am more intrigued by- Oh, no, no, no. Okay. No, there's a book. It's based on a book called A Darkness. This is not a sequel. It is. It's a standalone thing. Got it. Got it. I am more intrigued by the Nautilus game, but only a little bit.
01:47:04
Speaker
Uh, yes. Okay. All right. So this is our second to last day game of light and darkness. The prophecy. We went real low there. Yeah. Wow. That one that's got to hurt if you're, uh, that's going to hurt if you're James reorden, David, David reorden. Um, sorry guys, Cliff Johnson or Ken Melville. So if you guys are listeners, I'm so sorry.
01:47:29
Speaker
It's nothing personal, but maybe a little bit. Or if you're genius artist Gil Bruvel because we did absolutely make fun of your art. um All right, next one is 3089. Okay. um So that's gonna be a little bit more recently. Yeah, again. um It's called, let me see if I can gather any details about it. 3089.
01:47:59
Speaker
It is by the publisher ah Ultimate Games. It's 2023, it's called Lost Forest. I've, Jesus Christ, yeah, I've also never heard of this game. um And it is hard to Google. I think I found it though. Oh, wait, it looks really nice.
01:48:25
Speaker
It looks kind of, okay, it's like a misty. it's No, no, no, i keep it keeps showing me screenshots from the Lost Woods in Breath of the Wild. Oh, whoops. No, if it helps, it's like a switch game, I think. it's it's it's it's supposed it's It's a peaceful little forest game. Oh, it's got sort of that like um that like mix between sort of glossy and realistic as Firewatch or something. Yeah, it's a little Firewatch-y. And it looks like it's that kind of game. It's like a serene forest adventure, it says. It looks cozy. Looks pretty cozy.
01:49:10
Speaker
I don't know that it's really intriguing. As much as it like looks fine, looks nice, it's kind of cozy. Some of the textures are reused. I'm watching a video where they're looking at a mountain and the mountain is just like, it's just like a smooth hill with a repeating dirt texture over and over and over. Oh, no. Yeah. No, I'm actually on the site like the site for it now on the Nintendo.
01:49:39
Speaker
Yeah, like shopping site and the screen caps on the site actually look a little boring. They're they're actually looking a little bit more mediocre territory. Yeah, I i it looks it looks pretty. Some of it. but um Where do we put just a pretty some of it game, you know? Yeah. ah It's a relaxing experience. That's what everything is. It's just a relaxing experience. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know that I'm I don't know that I'm really digging this. Should we pass on it? Do we not know enough? I'm not going to pass. You, you tell me if you want to pass. Okay. If you have a, if you, if you have an idea of where to put this thing, I don't wear it. Okay. I don't, I don't know where we put games that are just like, uh, just sort of an like a vibe. Yeah. The vibe rather than a,
01:50:32
Speaker
Let's pass on it, it all it'll come back in 20 years when we finally get through this. So you will not, so I really love when games come up that we have already covered. Oh, me too. um And that is ah what is about to happen here. Oh, hell yeah. If we're gonna pass on Lost Forest, then our next game is ah number 1,441 from 2014 publisher, The Game Kitchen. Ooh.
01:51:02
Speaker
It is the last door. Season one. Yay! Oh my god, I love this game. I'm so excited. Guys, I love this game. This goes fucking high. I mean, you guys know how we felt about this game. We really loved it. We did a whole deep dive on it. Yeah. I ended up going off the charts, loving it. I love it.
01:51:30
Speaker
i I think this goes really high. I do too. i and This goes above Frambo for me. That's where I was thinking. I don't know that it goes above Portal. I'm hesitant to put it above Portal.
01:51:45
Speaker
Yeah, let's, all right, then we're agreed. fran Between Fran Bow and Portal. This is number two then. This is number two, we just got it number two. And we don't need to talk about it, because we already talked about the last story. Oh my god, I love the last story. That is so exciting to me. Our fourth game, because we skipped one, and I have one that's just been sitting here for several, many episodes. And it was one that I pulled up and then um I had pulled up one too many, one episode. So I will do that one last. OK. So I got number 504. Interesting. OK, so I haven't looked at this one ahead of time. Usually I pull them off onto a separate list right before we start so that it doesn't take as much time. But OK, 504, 1997 game from Psygnosis. Oh, woo yay. OK. Oh, you know them? It's called i Sentient.
01:52:39
Speaker
Damn, I don't know that game though. It is a firstgenerat first first generation, first person adventure. And what the fuck? yeah I don't know about this. It's got that thing. Okay, guys, it's got that thing where, um okay, in the ah in the mid 90s, they had figured out how to do polygons and they had figured out how to do textures.
01:53:07
Speaker
And so human beings often would be a bunch of shapes as a polygon. And then sometimes they would be like, oh, let's put photo-realistic faces on the textures. And when you wrap a photo-realistic face around just a circle, it looks so fucking frightening. So this game was released on PlayStation 1, and it is so polygonal.
01:53:36
Speaker
I mean, it's that era, it's that 1997. And these faces are so frightening. Holy shit. I don't like it. I don't know about this, Matt. So, Psygnosis, they publish a lot of games, and they publish the Discworld games. Oh, did they? Okay. Yeah. And actually, a lot of games. Oh, my God. They publish a lot of games. Lemmings.
01:53:59
Speaker
The characters in the game were based on the facial scans of the staff at the studio. Oh no, guys, no. No. Oh my god, they're terrible. Oh my god. Looks like they were focused on the organic transmission of information, which I think is really cool. Yeah. But I don't, who knows? So I think that is a great goal. So that kicks them up. Whether they succeeded or not, we don't know. We didn't play the game. But the fact that that was But the the fact that that was a goal of theirs kicks it up a little bit for me. okay And you know what? How horrible these um characters look also knocks it up a little bit for me because that's fucking hilarious.
01:54:43
Speaker
They all look so funny and like the faces don't match the bodies like on in terms of skin tone at all. They look so, this one guy's got glasses and his glasses are like molded to his cheeks.
01:54:59
Speaker
That's the best. All right. ah where Where do you think we put sentient by Psygnosis 1997? I don't know because this is kind of a different. a different. game than we've, like this is a PlayStation adventure game, very polygonal. Oh man, I don't, it seems very well liked, but it is more in the genre of strategy, like adventure. So for that reason, I feel like I would put it a little lower. The dialogue trees almost look like, um like those early RPGs, like ah be due to the Knights of the Old Republic or something, or like yeah the first um like Deus Ex.
01:55:38
Speaker
um
01:55:41
Speaker
Yeah, I'm thinking it goes just, in in me this is my initial thought and you can tell me what you think. I think it goes just like immediately above the mediocre block. Oh, above the mediocre block, okay. Like immediately above it, like it's like just, just above it. All right, what's above and below that?
01:56:02
Speaker
um So above it is like the seventh guest and below it is like blue force. Okay, I'm okay with that then. So I think it goes like maybe you're right above the seventh guest. Oh, you want to put it above? Okay. Just to be mean to the seventh guest. Yeah, let's just be mean. Let's just be mean because we can do that. We told you guys it wasn't going to be fair and it's not. It's not fair. yeah All right. All right. There it goes. It's our number. ah It is our number 25 sentient by psychos. Okay. So this next game is a, I think this is a game your go. This is a title.
01:56:41
Speaker
a name you're going to love. It is called An Acronist, Many Happy Returns. It is a game from 2019.
01:56:55
Speaker
um but Here's what I want you to do. I want you to go to adventuregamers.com and open up the review for An Acronist, Many Happy Returns. Okay. Let me do that.
01:57:12
Speaker
Is this one of your reviews? And I want you to look at right under the the title and see who the byline is on this review. Man, this is hard to type and spell. anne oh Ready? Happy returns. Okay. Adventure gamers.
01:57:37
Speaker
I see. So it is one of your reviews. I wrote the review on this game. I wrote the review for Adventure Gamers for Anne Ackernist. Now, Anne Ackernist was like one of these ah two point, four or these two, or sometimes 2.5 D top down, like RPG Maker Adventures. And it was actually really interesting um premise is like you would, ah as Anne,
01:58:07
Speaker
you would keep reliving, you'd you'd kind of jump through time. yeah And each timeline, you would become a different and based on choices that you made. And some of the choices were like deep into your past and some of them were in the present day. um And
01:58:26
Speaker
So you'd kind of live this day a bunch of different times as a different Anne, and sometimes you'd be a upper-class Anne. Sometimes you'd be a poor street urchin Anne. Sometimes ah you'd be, I don't know, pregnant Anne. i've forever I have this vague feeling there was a pregnant Anne, but I don't and don't exactly remember. This was years ago. I wrote this review four years ago. yeah um And if I remember correctly,
01:58:53
Speaker
Uh, based on my, and I didn't reread my review. Um, but I remember it had a lot of great ideas, just wasn't that well executed. Yeah. Yeah. It seems that it was kind of middling in your review.
01:59:09
Speaker
I said, it was brimming with colorful art and characters, well-crafted puzzles, and brilliant ideas, though the execution of some of its loftier ideas is uneven in both writing and gameplay. Man, that is a little bit of a ah ah clunky writer back there. The fundamental ideas of anachronists are incredibly intriguing, an adventure styled after a top-down JRPG in which the influence you will in a single day is drastic affectance or characters' abilities. That's right.
01:59:38
Speaker
So you would have different abilities or items depending on what you did to your character. And then so like, you know, behaving differently would basically unlock another timeline and then you become an in that timeline and you'd have like a different ability, which again, really fucking cool. Yeah, but it just wasn't executed well. Correct. So this needs to be in mediocre, in the mediocre block.
02:00:06
Speaker
But since you've played it, I trust your judgment on where you think it should go. I think that it's ideas go up, make it above, at least at the top of the mediocre block. Okay. So I think, and Akron has many happy returns, I would put, and this is hard because we just put something above the mediocre block. Yeah, yeah. And I think this looks better than sentient. Yes, it does. I think it looks better than dark grim mariupolis. Sorry, Ukraine.
02:00:34
Speaker
um
02:00:37
Speaker
Well, not think it looks. I think it i think it is better than Darkroom Mariopolis looks. I would play this game again. Well, that's good well that's a good that's a good thing. What about putting it above Art of Murder and maybe even above Hell of Cyberpunk Thriller and maybe below Will of Arthur Flabbington?
02:01:01
Speaker
Yeah, I'd be okay with that. Because those games are all yeah, I would be okay with that. And I think that Flabbington does look and appear a little bit better. um All right, that now we have now we have 46 games on our list. And guys, pretty soon we'll put it up in a place where you guys can see it. We'll let you know. Yeah, for sure. If we start now, if we if we put up a social media page for the site, or for the show. I wanna go read all of your reviews. I'm really sorry for what your night is going to become.
02:01:43
Speaker
So did we do it? I think we did it, I think we did the episode. Yay, we did it. It's a fucking long one. Guys, spooky month. what Part of what's spooky about it is our episodes are too long. Yeah, it's how long it goes. It is scary.
02:01:59
Speaker
the amount of which roses and matt can talk is terrifying it is terrifying yeah all right guys uh i don't have anything left to say i don't know if roses does or not no okay bye guys you know we're not going to end the podcast like that you know we're going to end it with podcast is art What else do, is there something else that I'm supposed to say? Yeah, your' so here' it's your line. Art is suffering.