Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
A Bad Relationship & The Gym
69 Plays2 years ago
In this episode, we discuss a relationship that has gone sour. Also, why do we have to go to the gym? It hurts. Enjoy!
Let us know what you think by emailing mildlyfrustrating@gmail.com
Music: Sunbathers by Scandinavianz https://soundcloud.com/scandinavianz Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0 Free Download / Stream: http://bit.ly/_Sunbathers Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/LmagcNJ0Y98
Recommended
Transcript
Podcast Introduction
00:00:11
Speaker
Welcome to the mildly frustrating podcast, the podcast for all things, you guessed it, mildly frustrating.
Hosts Reunite After Two Years
00:00:15
Speaker
I'm back here again with Nick. How you doing, man? I'm doing as you'd expect. I'm highly frustrated. When was the last time we did this podcast? I probably should have checked. I don't know enough to let the frustration build up to make one extraordinary podcast for you today. I think it's been just over two years.
Format Changes and Alan's Absence
00:00:40
Speaker
So I got plenty in the tank. It's been a while. Yeah, geez. I didn't feel like it's been that long. Like we discussed, we were holding out. Well, we've been doing the other ones, so. Yeah.
00:00:52
Speaker
We were trying to be, trying to split our topics here, and we were hoping to keep this kind of like a three-person podcast with Alan, but he's much less available than he used to be, which he still wasn't really before. So yeah, we kind of either got a- Let's just face it, he was never really frustrated. No, he's very frustrated. Maybe too frustrated. He's too frustrated to be on the podcast.
00:01:18
Speaker
Yeah, so we need to make a separate, uh, fiery, hot, frustrated podcast. He might be frustrated with the podcast. Maybe that was the problem. Um, so, you know, at some point we have to either just completely move on and never address this podcast again or
Personal Updates and Life Balance
00:01:38
Speaker
You know do an episode or two or 40 or however many we do without Alan and he's all going to come back anytime But for now, he's a slightly busy He's mildly busy So stuck with just the two of us but how things been going for you that's the pretty good
00:02:00
Speaker
Uh, you know, we did the job still, I think doing the same thing. I don't know exactly what the, well, I guess within two years, if you're only a fan of my podcast, then you should be. And that's actually, you know, right on par with this podcast. Anyway. Um, you know, I got promoted then.
00:02:24
Speaker
I aside from to the fire top Security for the same job and now I'm just kind of Studying and doing other stuff and in the meantime with my extra time just to kind of bounce it out and maybe make something worth it of the sidestep that I made so that's kind of the gist and the catch-up of
00:02:49
Speaker
of what's going on, and so far, you know, doing all right.
Breakup Reflections and Emotional Growth
00:02:53
Speaker
It's been a while since, oh yeah, got a girlfriend and then got an ex, because long story short, yeah, I had to demote her for not performing. That sounds weird. But yeah, essentially, yeah.
00:03:17
Speaker
Oh jeez. But yeah, no, um, essentially she, she enjoyed, and of course not going to be naming any names, but she enjoyed, uh, hurting whenever she didn't like what she heard. So.
00:03:34
Speaker
If I wasn't able to do something or if I wasn't allowed to do something at the time because of roommates or something like that, she would revert to trying to hurt me in various ways. Wait, so she got upset with you because of your roommate? Yeah. So you always just mentioned the roommate getting upset with you. You never mentioned the other side. Yeah, no, I got it from both sides. It's just, you know, what can I do?
00:04:05
Speaker
Well, yeah, I mean, I had to. But nonetheless, I am not sure the guys are both out. Well, yeah, like I said, two years of frustration pent up. I got plenty of stuff for Molly, but, you know, out of respect and, you know, what we were trying to do for Alan, we kind of just left it off. But, you know, as of right now, we're putting Alan on hiatus because because of our fans put himself on. Let's go.
00:04:25
Speaker
Yeah, so you drop
00:04:35
Speaker
Yeah, either way. Yeah, we're still We're still waiting on him. He's welcome to just join. He could join my podcast if we want. Oh Okay, fair enough. Watch him just pop in. Hey guys Heard you talking crap
00:04:52
Speaker
you know that would actually be perfect i think we would jump up to about five subscribers if we did that well then we can air our beefs with him for not being here we're mildly frustrated you haven't been on the mildly frustrating podcast yeah um so this kind of gives you a unique opportunity because we've been doing mildly hot sauce you haven't really had the
00:05:15
Speaker
And trust me that source is very mild. It's just just barely mild It wasn't I don't know if you would anyway, but it wasn't exactly the Platform for voicing concerns or issues that you've been having nothing you couldn't but it was it's it wasn't didn't feel as appropriate as it does here. I
00:05:37
Speaker
Well, I mean, think about it. It's not necessarily source news about celebrities or anybody.
Relationship Red Flags and Expectations
00:05:43
Speaker
Great. It's source news about, I guess, myself, who's a nobody. So, I mean, that's mildly hot source right there. Yeah. Well, the difference is it would be news that you don't have a girlfriend anymore, but you can talk about why here because it would be frustrating.
00:06:02
Speaker
Well, we weren't doing this one. No, I'm just saying it's funny that this is a little bit more frustrated. She pops in the room to do. She's got Alan with her bro. If I just want to let you know if anything happens to me, it's not. But yeah, that sucks. Fair enough. But overall in a better
00:06:29
Speaker
space because of everything that happened. I'm sure it was a sucky process, but I'm sure it still sucks. It always sucks. The process is always mildly frustrating. Yeah. But we're here now. We're all good. Is there any new news regarding that from the last thing I heard?
00:06:53
Speaker
Um, the last thing you heard was essentially. Yeah. Oh, so you didn't hear about, you didn't hear about her reply. The two weeks later, um, after I said, and she was like, I finally decided to read this, even though we all know that that was, yeah. Cause she acknowledged that I broke up with her. Yeah.
00:07:21
Speaker
Which was like in the middle of the text. But yeah, so I am caught up with her shenanigans. Yeah, she's ridiculous. You gotta stop antagonizing her by playing hockey. Apparently. No, but it would it would have been much more interesting if she brought somebody that was impressive, you know.
00:07:50
Speaker
You're leaving out some contacts there if you actually want to say that I can cut that out but you either have to say Yeah, we can so that some context essentially I Practice hockey on Fridays and after hockey practice I stay for public just to get more Just I skating Yeah, just
00:08:18
Speaker
Working on my skating mostly instead of my shots so that being said She Never goes to I like public skate. She even I've offered her I've asked her multiple times. Hey you want to go because she's not a figure skater It's not how you met her though. Why do you both? Yeah public skating. So yeah, so I stayed after hockey and she went to public skate to practice for her and she just I guess for a competition and
00:08:46
Speaker
um i guess so like midway you know she she just kind of she went to the she went to the competitions but she never like went
00:08:59
Speaker
To anything else as far as what I know like i'd even try to catch her at practice or like when she's supposed to be in a practice And she would miss it sometimes coming up with some excuse, you know Which I mean I get it if you have an academic career That you're going to more and you're not doing so hot in that yeah focus on that because I mean Yeah
00:09:20
Speaker
I guess I can be brutally honest now. She I don't think she was gonna be the next I mean, what's her name? That's you know, that's a hard scooter. You know, well, I mean just given the fact that she never Like I've seen her practice. I Seen her ethic of practicing and I see her skill level now where she is and how long she's been doing it Doesn't seem promising that she's gonna so that being said I
00:09:49
Speaker
She had to choose one. I would say maybe she would be best to do the academic if she had She's probably in a position where she knows that's not like a long-term thing. That's just she's probably doing it for funsies Yeah, probably but that being said, you know, she never went to public skating. So this time Around and this is like a weaker. I think a week after I broke up with her She brings this guy
00:10:17
Speaker
And this guy I mean I'm not gonna judge him by his looks or anything like that. That would be too easy, but Like I said, it was that easy I'm not gonna judge him based on how ugly he was
00:10:41
Speaker
No, well, no he was I would say he's a strapping out loud but you know to it to a guy that I Guess so to give a little bit more background She's into like minley men muscular guys and stuff like that. You know kind of just big guys I'm not necessarily muscular, but I'm a big guy, you know, and I can definitely handle myself and
00:11:08
Speaker
She brings this guy that I can break in half. And I, the thing is, is it's an obvious ploy for her to try to get me to get jealous. So she brings this guy who I know she's not into. Yeah. Cause you know, and also she brings that guy to essentially
00:11:36
Speaker
she's putting a goldfish into a shark tank. Like if, if it were older times and the thing is, I know that that's kind of how I know she wishes it was like, I would be clobbering the guy. And we're in a space where I'm a really good at because I'm really good at ice skating and this guy can't ice skate whatsoever. Like he's fumbling and falling and he's looking like a fool.
00:12:06
Speaker
Like the thing is I don't know what she was trying to prove with that Well, I'm just like she might not have thought why? Well, the thing is is that's not necessarily off par Well, that's I hate say but I mean, these are kind of facts that I mean, I guess I'm free to say now I
00:12:29
Speaker
But it's just like based on some of the other things you said she did it sounds like she just Goes for it without being like, you know, who will this work based on given these
Communication Issues and Frustrations
00:12:40
Speaker
facts? It kind of she just throws spaghetti at a wall. I Guess I was I don't know. It was more confusing than anything I was like if you're gonna do this, you know bring a big guy if he's gonna suck at skating and
00:12:56
Speaker
You know be bring somebody that's gonna you know, try to come at me and make me jealous Not somebody that kind of makes me feel better about myself The opposite effect Yeah, it's not didn't quite work out the way she had hoped yeah
00:13:15
Speaker
And then you texted her after and were like, I miss you, babe. No, I think she did that. And then she texted me after that happened, like two days after because that was on Friday. She texted me that Sunday. Yeah. And that's that's when she texted all that stuff, which is hilarious.
00:13:36
Speaker
She texted a bunch of mean hurtful stuff that I mean, yeah, that was intended to be mean and hurtful, but wasn't actually landing because most of it wasn't was provable. It was so like it was blatantly. It's only because, yeah, like she she it was weird how she knew the truths of these and was blatantly just saying no.
00:14:05
Speaker
Just to try to hurt me and it's funny because we've had arguments before and in one of those arguments She even apologized and she says I know I say things to try to hurt you I was like in a way. Well, I'm glad you didn't understand I'm glad that you understand what you're doing to me. That's that's great Makes you feel better. Yeah, that's never
00:14:29
Speaker
That's one of the worst things to deal with. I'm not going to say it's one of the worst things to have because it comes from some other stuff. But that's very difficult to deal with because like there's nothing you can do. And it's very, their attempts generally fall short because like they're just trying their hardest to throw anything at you. And most of the time it misses. But the fact that they're throwing stuff at all is like what's like
00:14:59
Speaker
What can be frustrating and upsetting like why did you because most of the time it's a very severe overreaction When when you when you're broken up like it's just her trying to make you feel hurt too Oh, yeah, but it in a relationship. It's like, you know you pissed her off because something small happened and she's like
00:15:21
Speaker
Well, you're stupid. No, I can give the full context. I don't have a car yet. I do Uber and I offered to Uber her places and she didn't like that option. So I was like, OK. And then she tried to hurt me. She started saying a whole bunch of hurtful things. Oh, no, no, no, not physically. But she she just decided to try to call me a loser and stuff. I don't deserve that. Like, why? Why is it when I don't have something that you want?
00:15:48
Speaker
then your first reaction is let me go ahead and say hurtful stuff even though I told her hurtful things don't really like they don't necessarily get to me because I know they're not true but I also don't have to deal with that like I can deal with somebody that's grateful for what I do give them
00:16:09
Speaker
And oh, yeah, by the way, she got mad at me for not having a car when I took her out to a really I gave a really nice day. And that's when she decided to bring that part up. Yeah. So, yeah, that was extra extra fire on the gas on the fire. So, yeah, no, I don't have to be a little bit hurt and stuff because I I tried to do something nice for you spontaneously. Yeah.
00:16:39
Speaker
Well, she's looking for the negatives. Dang. Well, yeah, exactly. I don't need that. I don't mind if anybody, because that's ridiculous. No. I mean, realistically, if she cared, it should mean more because you have much less to work with. Like, you know I don't have a car.
00:16:58
Speaker
So I'm offering to pay for your uber, you know, I don't have like a ton of stuff to provide for you But let's go out to a nice dinner like, you know You're putting forth that extra stuff to get for stuff that you wouldn't have for yourself. Like I'm Yeah, like I'm pretty positive you ate ramen noodles for seven several days so you can go do that and
00:17:23
Speaker
Yeah, so like that stuff that if she cared she would appreciate and that's why we're together now That's why I'm only mildly frustrated instead of I make her jealous I'm gonna buy a skate and then she'll feel better
00:17:47
Speaker
Yeah, that was the extra funny part is she thought she had me but I already had a mane. Sure. We always had a mane. She didn't realize she was a side piece. Maybe she did. Maybe that's why she was always upset. Oh, fair enough.
00:18:04
Speaker
Fair enough. Fair enough. Um, yeah, that's pretty lame. That's not worth, not worth your time. I understand my worth and like the thing is I try to do nothing but be respectful and I try to do so much with what I have. Like, come on. If you're not with it, then you're not with it, but don't be mean. Which I dang. I warned you early on, did I not? You did. Yeah. Well,
00:18:29
Speaker
Yeah. It was more specific to a situation, but I hit you with the warning of this, like this specific behavior is typical of a pattern. Yeah. Well, okay. So, well, the thing is, is I guarantee you, if I stuck it out and put in time, there is a slight chance that there would be a little diamond chip and all that rough. And that was your argument then.
00:18:55
Speaker
Yeah, well, yeah, I'm sure I'm sure but the thing is is that I It doesn't work like that. It doesn't that's probably how she felt. Yeah That's that's why I was like, well, well the that's the funny thing is I'm still gonna get it No, I'm gonna have it and she's not gonna be in the picture. So haha. I Got what I was looking for and you guys hopefully hopefully she's still not a bitter person. I
00:19:23
Speaker
But that being said that's a little harder to get to fix as a solution, you know But uh, you know it's painful to say but As much as I really do care and I hope that you know things happen for that's good I think I Deserve to have somebody that's already in that point
00:19:52
Speaker
To where they understand a little bit more about what the world is really like instead of you know Waiting Yeah, I just I had bad feeling from the beginning of it that one. Yeah Yeah, well, I mean, you know, of course, there's always the the stories you of course only heard the stories I told you so I
00:20:16
Speaker
Um, yeah, she she has good good parts. Well on the other side. I'm sure there's some bad stories. You can tell me too. Oh, of course. But no, I never assumed that she's just a bad person. Otherwise you wouldn't be dating her. But oh, yeah, I'm I'm talking like specifically like I see There's a couple red flags that i'm like, this is not gonna go well Because fair enough like especially the way it
00:20:42
Speaker
It's usually like the way it goes down. It's not like that she has a preference that you have a car. It's how she brought it up, what she said, and how it ended. How did the conversation end? Was it like her being like, well, I just, it really frustrates me and I wish she would grow up and that was kind of it. Or was it like, you know, you know, maybe I just feel like things will be easier when you have a car. Like those are two very different endings.
00:21:05
Speaker
Yeah. So at my work, we have majority female staff. And so I just asked around some of my work mates. Well, kind of. I was like, so is it weird or is it not weird? And they've known me for a while. They kind of know my situation and just how I am.
00:21:26
Speaker
And they're like, you know, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Why wouldn't she just share the car? Or, you know, like, because obviously you could offer to pay half of, you know, all the car insurance, blah, blah, blah. You know, why wouldn't she do this? And so like the majority of it was mostly just like.
00:21:42
Speaker
There's not it's not a big deal. I like especially not to be that like be be like that about it Yeah, and that's why I don't know like do you does she like drive you to work or anything like that? I was like, no, I've never asked her drive me to work or anything like that, you know the only time she ever drives is if We meet somewhere and then she just drives over to my place. Yeah, that's that's that's the drive so
00:22:10
Speaker
And they're just like, okay, well, I mean... At this place, she said she could even walk here from her place. Well, then she needs to get over herself. Well, that's what I said. But I mean, like before, it was maybe like a six or seven minute drive.
00:22:29
Speaker
And still, so, you know, that would be maybe like a 45 minute walker, but obviously she's not walking. She's riding. So, but that's what I'm saying. Like for the amount of a deal that she was making it out to be, it was pretty unanimous that there wasn't really a reason for that necessarily, especially on a day like that.
00:22:51
Speaker
Mm-hmm, and I was like I mean that's my thoughts exactly and they're like I can't believe that you actually just took her out and got her flowers and Brought her to bernie 90 night, which is a Korean barbecue place It's I mean, it's new and everybody loves to eat there. Yeah, but it's not cheap, you know, and it's a it's a pretty nice place
00:23:11
Speaker
Uh-huh. I know it's Korean, but it's close enough. Well, the funny thing is I actually did get a discount. I just assumed when he lost him. I don't think it was a family. I don't think it was a family discount. I have to ask him, actually. He got the goo-boo, and they put you up front. The cook looked suspicious. Gotcha. He was your dad. He looked familiar. No, maybe an uncle. So I took you there, but...
00:23:43
Speaker
you know, they're like, I can't believe that you would do that. I wish somebody would do that for me. Like that, that was the reaction I got. So I'm just like, yeah, well, that's what I was expecting. Like if is, and that kind of helped me make feel a little bit better. Cause if I has 10 girls and 10 of them say, Hey, like that's, that's not it. Like they, they focus more on the fact that I give them a nice day than anything I feel like
00:24:10
Speaker
That's what I'm thinking. There's women out there that actually are free. I need those women. I need those type of women. Somebody that appreciates that, not somebody that tries to belittle me and tell me that
00:24:23
Speaker
Suck. Well, yeah, cuz at that point it's they don't They clearly don't appreciate it's not the effort that they're looking for. It's the just It needs to stuff it needs to happen or have had happened already like I don't care She's a very status oriented person
00:24:48
Speaker
Like, she's pure status. That's all she talks about is status. She kept saying, I'm going to be super rich. I'm going to have a big house. I'm going to make six figures doing whatever she she wanted to do, which was interior design or graphic design. She hasn't decided. I feel like that's especially risky in college area, like with college age kids. That's what that's what I'm saying is like, I was like, I like your ambition and aspiration.
00:25:18
Speaker
But I mean, that's what I was saying is I I was really hoping when I saw her because she looks older I was hoping that she was like older than she was but she was I was like god dang it But you know when you got the dazzle in your eyes, what can you do? Talk to Jimmy and he's like man I'm over this job where I'm you know doing stuff that I'm I'm above and I'm better than this I need to be I need to be a doctor or a CEO Yeah
00:25:47
Speaker
So she's like She she's all about that. I I need this I need to be able to have that and I want like by now We should be able to get this this and then I'm like, okay. So where are we gonna get the money? Well, you're the and this was yeah, literally one of arguments. Well, you're the man you're supposed to be able to provide that. Okay, so yeah, I would love to find the button that gets because I'm looking for that button and
00:26:15
Speaker
Well and because that's and then that's never gonna work because let me hurry up and get both of us a hundred thousand dollar jobs and get a boat already and a house and some let's move to frickin one of the most expensive place in the world Seattle yeah yeah thanks let's go thanks yeah let's just go ahead and up and move from North Carolina yeah pretty easy
00:26:36
Speaker
So my question is what was she doing with you in the first place if like if those are the things she values and she knows that that's clearly not like What's going to what she's going to get then like yeah, why are you wasting all of our time?
00:26:53
Speaker
Yeah, that's one deciding factor that I was like, you know what? It's kind of just time to, you know, we're wasting time at this point. Like not that you're like, I'm not saying like you're always going to be poor and, you know, you're never going to have a car or anything like that, but like.
00:27:08
Speaker
If it's so important to her that she's like. It's not gonna happen like this, yeah. Yeah, like you're dating for a couple months and she's like, you're the man, you should be paying for everything. Like, we didn't get very far where you're immediately dating all of these things. That means you had them in mind as soon as we started dating and I don't have those things. So either we're taking a break until I have those things or they'll find somebody who has it. Yeah. Either way, you shouldn't be in a relationship unless the other person has those things because clearly you won't accept any less.
00:27:37
Speaker
But the sad part is, is the way that she was acting, I don't know if a guy that has those things would actually, I mean, she looks like a good solid eight, nine, you know? She's high up on the looks category, but personality-wise, might put her down to like a six.
00:28:00
Speaker
So I don't know if like those types of guys that she's looking for is actually going to You know wife her up necessarily. They might try to have fun with her. It depends. Good luck. Yeah But By all means and enjoy But
00:28:22
Speaker
Yeah, that's just what I hope. Again, I hope that she can clear things up so things get better for her. But you know, it's all about me at this point and my journey to get better and hopefully I find the girl that's for me.
00:28:43
Speaker
Let's move away from these common denominator women where they all have similar issues. I'll try.
00:28:53
Speaker
Did somebody say toxic? No, I couldn't admit I used to be a little toxic but self-growth is a great way to live life. Like I even said with your last girlfriend because you know she had similar issues where but
Past Relationships and Personal Development
00:29:20
Speaker
I Yeah, I had a little bit more sympathy for her because she was doing a lot of the work in terms of driving you to work and picking you up sometimes like maybe not every day, but she was putting in effort and Yeah, I had a feeling that over time that would kind of get old but yeah there's ways to deal with that and the way to not deal with that is to be like you just need to buy a car already or we're done like that's a
00:29:45
Speaker
Yeah, then like if you had a sit-top like I'm only gonna be with this guy for so long if he unless he gets a car like I don't know just the way things kind of went down was like this is not Yeah again red flags not as bad as this last girl, but Yeah, well, it's all about the mindset as well. Like I'm I'm all for I I understand but at the same time, you know, I'm just not somebody that actively has one so I
00:30:13
Speaker
I mean if that's something that you're looking for specifically because I mean I say it at the beginning of the date and stuff, you know, this is how I roll um, you know, I got the oopers Well, yeah, if you need to get somewhere if we uh, most of the time when we go out we're drinking anyway, so you shouldn't be driving Yeah, well, that's the other half of it is like even though, you know, they're looking for these things ideally it's not like as long as they're seeing effort or that you're working towards it or
00:30:41
Speaker
You know, yeah, if you're within range of it that is acceptable to them, then that's that's a decision they have to make early on. Yeah. And that was the weird thing is when I was with my last ex, I got my driver's permit, but I couldn't do anything with it because it didn't have a car to practice nor did I have signatures to anybody to sign my thing. So I couldn't get my driver's license, which was hilarious because I was the
00:31:09
Speaker
I was like I could have got it right there. Yeah, but but we we dipped out on it didn't we? Yeah, they just kind of want you to have it figured out yeah Yeah, it was right there. I could I could have a license right at this very second. Yeah valid and everything But here we are Yeah, I think
00:31:36
Speaker
again with that age, the family plays a lot into it, which you should saw very evidently with her dad. Where, you know, as a parent, you're like, okay, so what does your boyfriend do?
00:31:52
Speaker
Like yeah, I totally understood that and like I said like I even talked with her about that and she understood, you know She had her moments where her dad would get to her but the moment I would talk to her about it and be like well You got to understand this that and the other and understand your dad is valid and saying that because he's your father He wants you know this that neither but he doesn't know this this and that which is why he thinks this isn't this but you know and
00:32:19
Speaker
This this and this because we've been together and you've been with along My journey and you've you've watched me, you know do this so he doesn't know so he's gonna act a certain way unless you tell him but you know better so
00:32:36
Speaker
Think what you will but you don't have to necessarily take what he says into full consider like as law Because you know information just that he doesn't obviously I'm not gonna agree with him because I know everything about what I'm doing So, you know that being said You know and Pretty much you'd be like, well, you're right. That's true. I think a lot of times the
00:33:04
Speaker
like you've never been like a freeloader where you know you're getting rides you're not paying for anything that kind of stuff but like that's not they're not looking for the effort they're looking for like a minimum requirement yeah they're looking for a minimum requirement and like
00:33:27
Speaker
this is what I need from the relationship to move forward and they'll kind of hint at that early, you know, at some point and then it's a red flag like they're really pissed off that they had to drive me somewhere and it kind of ended at that but there's this underlying tone of they're just not happy that they had to drive me somewhere and
00:33:50
Speaker
this is gonna be a problem coming up because I'm certainly not getting a car in the next couple of months. Not because I don't want to, but I just physically can't. And that's where I'm like, uh-oh. Yeah. That's fair enough. Yeah, they need to either come to terms with that and find some other stuff to focus on other than just, you know,
00:34:15
Speaker
I'm just like, in my mind, I'm just like, okay, like, honestly, getting a car. I mean, it's not necessarily easy by any means, but that's one of the easier things that you can get inside of a relationship, at least from what I gather. It's kind of hard to find certain qualities that
00:34:38
Speaker
I don't know I feel kind of weird saying it cuz it feels like I'm posing but but I have I feel like I have some really decent qualities that you don't really find in a lot of other areas, you know Yeah, and it's just like how do you think that did those not count for anything? You know, I think I could make a good time out of pretty much anything, you know I don't know. I'm a I feel like I'm a fun person to be around and like I can make things interesting it just I
00:35:05
Speaker
I don't know. I feel like there's more things, but again, that's my mindset. And that's why I kind of want to find, I want to find somebody with that mindset as well, which I guess is the big pain state. The only thing is I feel like somebody with my mindset is already taken. So it's just like, well,
00:35:25
Speaker
I mean come on i'm such a catch if there's a woman version of me she's definitely taken i mean come on that's not true you just can't go anywhere to find them fair enough if they're not at work you're not going to see you yeah and i don't do anybody at work yeah well not right now well okay i i'm the ice rink is free ball so if i find somebody at the ice rink you best believe but uh yeah no it's
00:35:52
Speaker
I agree, we all have our flaws, but in general, as long as we're good people, there's always somebody, you know, it doesn't have to be somebody who's like, I'm cool never having a car, but like somebody who's cool, like we're doing our best and it will happen.
00:36:08
Speaker
And that works for some, not knocking people who that's not okay for, that's fine. But then don't get in a relationship with me and expect it to just magically happen because that's what you need from me. We need to kind of be on the same page as to where we're both at in our lives and what we can both do. And we can't magically make things happen because that's what you desire to happen out of this relationship.
00:36:32
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, would you rather have somebody that always brings the vibe down or somebody that doesn't have a car? I mean, come on. Because once you get the car, you still got the funny guy, the guy that brings the vibes up. That's gonna be pretty hard to get rid of that one. Yeah. To make him a little bit lighter of a person and maybe not make you feel like you're an idiot for dancing like you do or
00:37:00
Speaker
you know, doing whatever weird snack ritual you got going on. I don't know. I bring comfortability. You ain't got to worry about a judgment here. Come on. That's true. Like I said, we all have our qualities.
00:37:14
Speaker
Online profile. Yeah, again, like I said, it's not like you're a freeloader. I can see that being an issue where if you're not driving, you're not paying rent, they're buying the food, then that's going to weigh on any relationship no matter how willing they are to work with you. But you've never been like that. There's certain things that you can't provide at the moment.
00:37:44
Speaker
Well really one. Well that one thing causes other things like you don't have a car so you can't you know drive them and you know all that stuff.
00:37:53
Speaker
That's really all they want there every every year Both of them were like I really just want to be a passenger princess and I'm totally for it once I have a car Honestly, I'll probably be spending most of my time driving because I love cars That's kind of the best part is it was just funny cuz Aaron just told me that he's like dude The funny thing is you don't have a license and you love freaking cars Yeah, you always have it's pretty sad
00:38:19
Speaker
Just had a brief. It's honestly probably been a good thing. I feel like maybe if I had a car when I was younger, I might be gone right now, which is, I mean, it could have been an underlying savior.
Personal Qualities and Relationship Insights
00:38:33
Speaker
Who knows? That's true. Your dad was just helping you the whole time.
00:38:42
Speaker
What was I going to say? Oh, I was saying that's that's an ironic part of it, too, is they're so upset that they that you don't have a car and that they have to drive you places because they want you to have a car and to drive them everywhere so they never have to drive. Yeah. Oh, I know. I've thought about that. Not like a 50 50, but it needs to be it needs to flip from 100 percent to 100 percent and then everything will be fine. Yeah, I mean,
00:39:11
Speaker
I have thought of that. I was like, wait, why? That, yeah. It's not fair that Emma is driving. You need to pick me up every time. You need to drive me places. Why? Because I also do all the cleaning and all the cooking and I do everything else around the house. So she sits on the bed and receives the snacks I give her.
00:39:38
Speaker
And whatever else she acts and then I wash the the crumb and chocolate and paint covered sheets that I have Because she likes to paint on my bed, too. Yeah. Yeah. Well That's on you for letting her do that. Yeah, fair enough. I saw of the The the cow that she did you want to see did I show you the cow that she painted? Yeah Okay, I should throw it away, but I'm lazy and it's comical. I
00:40:08
Speaker
Should throw it away, but I'm lazy and I don't wanna oh No You what you like the the gold chain she gave it good cause cows be pimping what happened here I
00:40:30
Speaker
I don't know. But nonetheless, so yeah, that stuff. It looks like it was drawn on purpose, like. No. To be like a cartoon of a cartoon. She she also wanted to be an art major for a little bit, I think. But nonetheless. That being said. Yeah, so.
00:40:52
Speaker
I just thought that it really like maybe she wanted me to laugh but the thing is I was just telling her that I didn't like and I was explaining to her why because she didn't seem to understand why her bringing it up on that night like about the car and being so upset about that specifically was upsetting to me
00:41:20
Speaker
Because you put it forth all that effort Yeah, cuz I cuz I just had that I just had that conversation with her When we were in the car before everything and she was fine It was literally once the check came and I paid for it. That's when she flipped Like she was she she said thank you and stuff with everything that I gave you and honestly she only said that which I was grateful for at the time and
00:41:46
Speaker
But now after everything yeah, and I'm not taking just your thank you like what the heck I I was told it I was like and the fact that you like your first instinct was to try to hurt me like I like I don't I don't like that and that it hurts my it does hurt my feelings when you just try to hurt me like that because I I don't try to hurt you and
00:42:10
Speaker
And I wouldn't want to try to hurt you. Like, I don't understand why you're trying to hurt me. Yeah. Like I said, it's not exactly what she said that was hurtful because, you know, obviously whatever she said wasn't true. Or you know what, like, you know what effort you're putting in. It's the fact that she, like, in that moment where you just did all that stuff, felt like it was appropriate to be mean on purpose. Yeah. Well, not that it was appropriate, but she knew it wasn't and did it anyway.
00:42:40
Speaker
Well, I don't know apparently she might have thought it was an appropriate time to do it I don't know why man her I wish I knew her viewpoint on it because maybe I'd understand why she did it but I I don't know past like there you could have you could have brought it up the next day or Something, you know it like let it let it kind of go over Something, you know, yeah
00:43:08
Speaker
But that just points to there's never not going to be a time where that's an issue. Oh, yeah. Like if you took me to Disney, she would have been like, you know, I told you I wanted to fly first class. Yeah, no, she does have that mindset. And that's again.
00:43:30
Speaker
I'm sure you know in due time she she might grow out of it and hopefully she does yeah, but you know and at this point in time It's not something that I feel I'm I'm ready for I need somebody that has a little bit more of a Understanding about things exactly and like I said, there's nothing wrong with her expectations that yeah, there's nothing completely individual just find a guy that already has it and
00:43:55
Speaker
The problem is and don't be mean to them if they don't exactly the problem is the being mean that's that's never acceptable and Find somebody who has that stuff like if those your expectations and that's completely fine then go fulfill those expectations Don't put them on me knowing I can't fulfill them and be mad at me I told you my age and what I had the first day like the first date we had yeah that date I
00:44:19
Speaker
I told you. I took an Uber. I told you exactly how old I was. We took an Uber to McDonald's. Both got a small fry. It's just like, come on.
00:44:31
Speaker
It's pretty lame. It's a very frustrating situation because like I say all these things like why would you invest this time? Knowing all these things like you know, I don't have a car. Why why is it a problem? We've been dating a month and I didn't have a car when I a month ago Yeah, cuz you go into that relationship assuming that that's not gonna be a problem and that very quickly becomes one
00:44:57
Speaker
Which is if you keep a mindset like that and you find somebody say you do find somebody that's 23 and already has a house and has a car and yada yada well Let's go with the unicorn and say he got it all himself. Okay. Well Then now you have the expectation that since now is 23 by 30 you guys are gonna be in a bigger house probably living somewhere else and especially because he met them here and
00:45:24
Speaker
If they have a house here, are they really going to be willing to sell that house and move to a place like because she really wants to go to Seattle, move to Seattle and get a smaller place and, you know, all that kind of stuff and out there. OK, so that's the unicorn. Maybe that can happen. OK, so. Then what? What happens after that? She's going to expect this, that and the others. So, I mean, I just know that
00:45:52
Speaker
if she doesn't change then He's gonna have to pony up a lot of stuff real quick rapidly and she's gonna want to be satisfied and then if she doesn't if he doesn't or like say for example maybe He has all that but He's lacking somewhere else like he doesn't have Emotional connection with her or something like that or he's you know not invested with her He spends all his time doing something else
00:46:23
Speaker
Well, then she has an issue with that and then she she just calls them names and stuff like that, you know Whatever, you know just does something to be mean to them and then Which is what I said to you. I was like that's a red flag that Things are never gonna be good enough Yeah Just you gotta change that mindset that wasn't based on the expectation that she wanted you to have a car that was based on the way she handled it and worded it and Yeah, the thing she said to you
00:46:53
Speaker
Yeah, I haven't told her. I was like, it's perfectly fine. I understand. I get it. I've told her that multiple times. I get it. Trust me. I want to have a car and I want to make you a passenger princess ball because I mean, it's not wrong. It's not false. I mean, I like driving, but.
00:47:15
Speaker
It's just not happening right now. So now what? How do you want to play this? I mean, you can get out, but I mean, so if she knows that and she, so what else do we have to discuss? Well, I know what's happening. I'm trying to work on it. We're, we're, we're solid. All right. It's acknowledged.
00:47:41
Speaker
So now I did this really nice thing. Can we focus on that? Yeah. Or are we still gonna, I mean, I get it. If this is really what you want. Yeah. You gotta fix the first thing so we can move on to other stuff. Yeah. Anyways.
00:48:01
Speaker
Uh, yeah, that was much more, uh, that conversation was much more suitable for this podcast. Um, yeah. So not trying to like harp on this relationship. And I'm sure she's, you know, I hope she's like, I said, I have no ill will. I know she has good intentions, intentions, good intentions. What's that, uh, verse, uh,
00:48:32
Speaker
the road to hell was paved with good intentions or something like that. Something like that. I feel like just a case of wasn't right and hopefully she learns that hurting people isn't the way to go. And I'm finding somebody else.
00:48:56
Speaker
Where you're gonna go to get over it. We're not willing to be the person that is hurt right now I Think I've been hurt enough. Yeah, I've had my dues throughout the relationship. I Deserve this win. Yeah, it's not even like you were together for a while those Yeah, six months. Yeah, not too much. Not too bad. There's That it felt like the issues of a two-year relationship
00:49:26
Speaker
Sure. Oh, I know. They came on so quickly and escalated so quickly that it felt like the timeline should have been much longer.
00:49:37
Speaker
Yeah, I would say she is one of those like, do it now, do it, do it, do it, do it type, well, sort of, I would say picker because she didn't want to do that for schoolwork, but she was always like, do it, do it, do it. So she has that mindset of, you know, get it done, get it done, get it done, like right now. And if it's not done her specific way, like OCD, but she had a very selective OCD. So it was just hard to, she said she hated numbers.
00:50:07
Speaker
I was like, okay, I've never known somebody that actually hates numbers, but I mean, she said she was good with them. She just hated them. I was like, okay. Like an emotional hate, not like a fear or anything like that. It was just a hate. Like she just didn't like them. Like autistic? She had a little bit. She said, she said she was a little, I don't know.
00:50:32
Speaker
Yeah, there's some layers there Yes, I have a feeling that I mean, I don't want to assume but it it was it was a little hazy on exactly but nonetheless If she was she was very she was functional. Yeah, but yeah Which I mean I can understand certain things but there's a limit. I mean again Yeah, I don't I'm not going to I'm not going to live my entire life. I
00:51:01
Speaker
dedicating my love and time and effort to somebody that resents me for whatever. You know, that's not how I picture my, you know, remaining years on this earth to be. I'm going to be with somebody that when I look at them, they look at me and we enjoy each other's company and value each other for who we are as people. That's what's going to happen.
00:51:26
Speaker
Good luck with that. Well, that's not realistic. That's why the search goes on. You hate each other immediately. Trust me. Maybe that's the way to go. I mean, you know why I did the same thing and expect a different outcome. Maybe I need to go with somebody I hate and say to somebody I fall in love with. It's usually the same. Give it enough time. Apparently it's six months.
00:51:56
Speaker
Yeah, well, that's how you know. That's when you know. Well, that's a valid frustration. Hopefully that gets things out on the table a little bit because we haven't gotten too much into the details because there's not much to
00:52:15
Speaker
Iterate over because it's just kind of general her being tool about things And you just got fed up with it more like yeah, and again, this is coming from somebody that doesn't I don't hate her I don't resent her or anything like that. You know, I'm kind of I Don't want to say past all that kind of stuff, but I try to be you know, and that says I understand that she's you know young in mind and just doesn't you
00:52:43
Speaker
Maybe doesn't understand i'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. I just it's it's a sad truth I just wish that she wasn't like that because I really liked her then other way like she had great great aspects. It's just dang Yeah Well, not good enough network counted Yeah
00:53:05
Speaker
Uh, yeah, that's a fair frustration from your end. Um, my life recently has just been getting sick every other week with the baby. Yeah. Well, so he gets sick and then I get sick. And then by the time I'm almost done recovering, he gets sick. And then I, um, so like in the past, like,
00:53:34
Speaker
four months he's been sick like probably four or five times and
Childhood Sickness and Immunity
00:53:39
Speaker
I've been sick probably four times three or four times it's just so stupid well you know you're helping his immune system you know get better that's what I'm holding on to is like the silver lining is hopefully this has a positive effect long term
00:53:58
Speaker
Well, I mean I feel like it's just a natural occurrence because it's probably happened ever since you know We've done the the whole birthing thing, huh? had babies I mean, it's I Mean, I'm sure there's always been germs and their babies would always be more prone to getting sick than the adults and vice versa So it's probably just a natural process of you know, how we build up antibodies when you grow up and
00:54:28
Speaker
I mean it kind of happens, you know a little it is a little bit and the other part of is just their kids so they like your immune system could be fantastic, but if you go and You know put your hand in a sick person's mouth and put it in your mouth. You're probably gonna get sick So the disclaimer I'm not a doctor or anything Yeah, which they might have assumed since you're Asian
00:54:53
Speaker
That would make them assume that I was a doctor. That's what I'm saying. You either worked in a restaurant or you were a doctor.
00:55:00
Speaker
Oh yeah, well, that was a little rushed out, so. Yeah, so it's the, the school aspect is kind of the biggest thing. And then, yeah, their immune system isn't like amazing to find it off in the first place, but, you know, they're just all over each other, everything in their mouths and, you know, they're obviously, they don't care about germs, so. When I was a kid, I was freaking, when I'd be in the classrooms,
00:55:30
Speaker
you know, they would have that tub full of stuffed animals and we'd get the, like whoever was like the good kid or whatever, they got to sleep in that tub during nap time. I think I told you about that, yes, I mean there was that.
00:55:50
Speaker
I mean, that's just a tub full of stuffed animals that I don't ever think got washed and any kid can go in there and I mean, come on, it's a kid in there for like, somebody's bound to pee, somebody's bound to poo, somebody's bound to snot, like, put their snot all over the toys. Now that I think about it as an adult, I'd never do it, but... I hope not. When I was a kid, that was the way to go. That thing was the jam.
00:56:16
Speaker
But any reputable like preschool or daycare Generally won't have won't even have stuffed animals because you can't clean those Well again
00:56:30
Speaker
It was the 90s. It was the Beanie Baby era. Yeah, it's like all everything is hardwood and plastic. It has to be something you can spray and wipe down. I mean, they do a good job of keeping everything clean. But, you know, you have 10 kids in a circle holding hands. They're they're all get swapping germs at some point. You should give them a bubble suit. I wish, man. I just get one for myself.
00:57:00
Speaker
There should be a bubble wrapped around the school that you can unzip, put him in, and he instantly goes in a bubble suit. And when you're ready to get him, he has to back up and get him out of the bubble suit. He just walks in through plastic and then has to walk back out. Yeah, it's a real pain in the butt. He hasn't home nebulizer now.
00:57:29
Speaker
I'm sure if I showed you a picture, you know what it is. You know how inhalers work? It's an inhaler, but it's a mask, like an oxygen mask that you put over your face. So almost the way I think about it, the way I can word it, is it almost like aerosolizes the inhaler.
00:57:57
Speaker
Because you can't get a kid to put their mouth around an inhaler and inhale as they press it. That's just not, you can't do that. So you put a mask on them and they breathe it in as they're sitting there. Yeah, so you can put liquid medicines in it. Not any liquid medicine has to be designed for it, but you put medicine in it. Vapes. Basically, yeah.
00:58:19
Speaker
Yeah, he has mango flavor mango splash or tropical breeze Yeah Yeah, so he has one of those at home now, so that's awesome nice so he has a Asma No, well, I shouldn't say no. So why are we putting because he was sick? That's okay. Just for say I thought like it was for like a I
00:58:46
Speaker
Is gaining like some sort of respiratory no so issue. I don't think he has asthma I'm not gonna roll it out The only reason I say that is because every time he's gotten sick. I take him to the doctor. He's had like croup, which is Really the it's like the throat almost where they get like a cough that sounds like a bark like it's your body's sick and
00:59:08
Speaker
Yeah, it's affecting more like from the throat and up like you the doctor will listen to your lungs listen to your heart like and everything is normal, but It's affecting your like vocal area This time I took him and
00:59:25
Speaker
Jazzy disagrees with me here. She said she heard a bark, but When he was coughing I didn't really hear a group cough. It sounded off. It sounded like he was sick So there was something there, but it didn't sound to me like a group cough So I knew it was a little different and I hope that meant it was nothing. It was just in coughing and But then it was like
00:59:47
Speaker
Non-stop like I think accounted I don't know if I told you but like in like three hours that he was awake I think the longest break he had from coughing was 60 seconds or so Jeez, so he was just completely non-stop
01:00:03
Speaker
no breaks in between just coughing. Um, but I took him to the doctor and they listened to his lungs and they're like, Oh yeah, this is not, he's like, I don't think this is Groot. He's like, he's got a wheeze. Like he's having trouble getting air. Um, so they were like, we're going to put, and they took his, um, blood oxygen level on a little, um, I forget what they call it. Well, the little reader you put on your finger. Um, Oh yeah. I know what you're talking about.
01:00:32
Speaker
No clothespin. Yeah, basically. I don't know why I can't think of what it's called, because I have one. But it's, you know. Yeah, I remember he got that in your breathalyzer thing. Yes. Yeah, I have both of those now. I have blood pressure cuff. I have the whole hospital basically in my house.
01:00:54
Speaker
And the funny thing is you didn't even do it for any reason other than for funsies. Kinda. It's just good to have or stuff like this. I just wanted to check my breath. Oh, the birth cancer. Yeah. More or less, yeah. I just wanted to kind of see my blood sugar or something like that. Isn't that cool? Just because I don't, just like everything else, I don't trust my judgment. So there was definitely times where I was like, oh, I know I'm fine. Even though I feel a little off, I know I'm completely fine.
01:01:22
Speaker
But then there's kind of like those gray areas where I'm like, I don't know Where I feel fine versus where I'm actually fine. I don't I don't I can't be a hundred percent confident in my judgment here so I wanted some kind of statistical way to like correlate that like I Say I'm I think I'm okay But where am I actually at and then I could kind of go from there? I wanted just a little helper to get some numbers because I'm like that I
01:01:52
Speaker
Anyways, so they took his like oxygen level and it was it's generally your oxygen shows be like 99 99% Yeah, sometimes 90 like 97 on a bad day like if you have like asthma or bad allergies or something like that his was at 96 which Just means he was having a lot of trouble
01:02:16
Speaker
So they're like, okay, we're gonna do a nebulizer And get him albuterol, which is an inhaler And so they did that take like 10 minutes with his little mask on and then they came in and did the test again like they read his oxygen level and it was at 99% they're like, okay, so Okay, like that I mean that immediately opened his lungs up and he while he had it on he like
01:02:44
Speaker
his coughing slowed down to where it was like every couple of minutes and then he didn't cough for like five minutes straight. I was like, okay, so he's, this is, this is the problem here. So this is what I need to buy. I mean, it came back, but, cause you know, it's not permanent fix, but it opened up as longs and they sent us home with one, which was good. So we don't have to keep going back to the hospital to do it.
01:03:14
Speaker
Now you're gonna get an invoice in about a month or two I really hope this is covered by insurance not that I won't pay for it I'm sure it's not like it's not gonna be like a thousand dollars might be like a hundred or two hundred bucks, but I Have a feeling that it's covered. So we'll see anyways Yeah, so that's been fun. We had to do it every four hours
01:03:39
Speaker
To try and keep him chill So yeah, so we've been doing that and that's been fun So I don't know that if he has asthma or not. I my gut tells me no But you know also my whole family has it or most of my family has it so I'd be surprised jazzy sister has it so Oz aren't in his favor Oh
01:04:01
Speaker
But we'll probably do cardio early and it should negate the effects as much as possible Well, yeah, exactly if he does have it, you know, we'll work on it But they said that I had asked me when I was a kid, but I'm fine. I
01:04:17
Speaker
Yeah, asthma presents differently, but also if it's not super bad, like the movie, you can, like, you know, if it's a two or three out of 10 and you can do enough muscle building of your lungs to kind of negate that two or three, then it's like gonna rarely be an issue. Unless like you get like, maybe you get COVID or something like that and it kind of has a little side effect. Yeah, that would suck.
01:04:45
Speaker
So a good night they can pop back up, but Yeah, definitely strengthening your lungs will help with it But I will probably take them to a specialist and just have them check and like See if there are any signs of it just to have that information and know if we need to work on it
01:05:00
Speaker
but yeah anyways so that's been a journey and I've been on edge like because it's also allergy season but I'm like I have a sore throat I'm dying
01:05:16
Speaker
No, but I am so Aware of if like how my body is acting different. So like my nose is always stuffy for my allergies. I
01:05:32
Speaker
It's a different feeling of stuffy when I'm getting sick. It goes from here to here. There's just a very slight difference and I'm like, this isn't, this is like a sick stuffy now. This is your average everyday darkness. Yeah, or like, yes. There'll just be something off and I'm like, I'm getting sick. And Jazzy's like, okay, well,
01:06:01
Speaker
You know you're freaking out as a hypochondriac response And you're gonna will it into existence like I'm not I can't wish myself sick and make it happen like that's not how that works anyways Like I get your point, but also I can't pray to the moon god. I'd say I'm gonna get sick Yeah, you could you could do it to an extent. Yeah, you know I was like a placebo effect. I get your point, but also I can't get myself a cold
01:06:29
Speaker
Well, I mean, I think she should take into account, like, how often do you do that, though? And how often are you wrong? Well, you know, pretty frequently, since I'm frequently getting sick. But yeah, so like, there will be a slight difference. And I was starting to feel it. It was like,
01:06:50
Speaker
kind of, it was in between the normal feeling off, like the normal feeling allergies and the feeling sick. I was like right in between, I was like, this could go either way right now. Cause I had like a sore throat, which I don't frequently get. And I was like, this could be me getting sick or allergies is really bad. Something's different, but I don't know what's causing it. It's pretty annoying.
01:07:18
Speaker
I have that same feeling but instead of it going to my nose or something like that, it's like a different sort of tired feeling like I'll wake up and I'm like, ah, nah. That usually follows very quickly after. Oh my gosh, Shiza. Well, here we go. Yeah, that's not good. Just get up and I'm like, yup.
01:07:43
Speaker
The next day I'm like totally screwed. I'm like yep. Oh, yeah, it's an immediate Yeah, this is happening your nose and throat is first for me and then shortly after is the body effects of like I feel more tired than I should or I'm starting to get like the last time I was sick I had I started getting like
01:08:01
Speaker
I was like, dude, my arms are like sore. Like, did I like pull something and then my legs got sore? Damn, I was like, my back hurts. I was like, dude, my whole body hurts. And I was like, oh, wait, hold on. I forgot I also had a stuffy nose. Yeah, this is happening. Yeah, so it's real pain in the butt. But like you said, hopefully it's a building up his immune system. So maybe he gets like less.
01:08:27
Speaker
I mean, maybe I get sick less of you. I don't know if that will work out for me, but I think you're trading in your metachlorians to him. So I think for you, it's just weakening you. Yeah. I have to sacrifice my blood cells. But yeah, there's always the hope. I can hold on to that hope.
01:08:50
Speaker
That's where I've been at. And luckily he's recovering. He's back in school. So we get dog. That's good. Yeah. I'm over it. Parenting sucks. Like, well, I shouldn't say that. There's many cons to parenting. It's not fun. And it's always- Those are cons. Luckily we just went over the con hill and onto the pros.
01:09:16
Speaker
there are a lot of pros but the cons are always like in your face of like because it's always practical things like I'm getting sick or I don't have time to do something or I'm tired like it's stuff that's like immediately visible and the pros are like
01:09:37
Speaker
almost more emotional pros yeah or like you'd be just i'm a happier person i'm much happier with the baby but it's made my life a lot harder it was definitely pros and cons there so you're just like this is great yeah um
01:10:00
Speaker
But the last thing I'll bring up is I've been, because it's semi-related. It's semi-related is I've been going to the gym frequently now, during the week after he goes to school. And working out just sucks.
01:10:24
Speaker
It's just not fun. I don't... Maybe I just haven't found the right exercise for me, but I just don't. I've never enjoyed it. I'm talking about like overall as a whole, like I went through periods where I was going
01:10:39
Speaker
You know five times a week referred like six
Gym Routine and Physical Wellness
01:10:44
Speaker
months And I never enjoyed it I just gotten enough of a routine or I was like I can tolerate this but then as soon as something like Came up. I'm like, okay. I'm good. I don't want to go to the gym anymore I just don't get the satisfaction from it that others do Yeah, like for me
01:11:10
Speaker
Well, I get you a hundred percent. I'm not motivated whatsoever to do it necessarily. You seem like you are. Well, okay, so I'm not motivated to do it, but once I'm in the middle of doing it, I'm like, oh, this is pretty great. And then after I'm done, I feel great. I'm like, I'm glad I did that.
01:11:33
Speaker
And, you know, I feel good about myself. And then the fact that I stayed consistent with it, like, you know, I've started to see, you know, like my waist size shrink up and I'm looking in a good statue. You know, I got some of this going on. Like, what's that? I have this one in a while. Come on. Come on, you know, come on. Seeing results is always nice.
01:11:57
Speaker
Yeah, and so that it's like it started to hit like a certain dopamine, you know, type of like, oh, I see the progress and that kind of like pushed me into it. Like now I'm like, okay, I'm great. I'll go ahead and do that. This is final. I'll eat less. That's fine.
01:12:16
Speaker
I'll eat this that and the other instead of that if if if I keep doing this Yeah, so now I kind of I wouldn't say have an addiction to it But it's definitely something that's hitting the ticket as far as making me feel pretty good about myself I'm hoping I can get to that point where I'm seeing Where I lose a little bit of weight. I'm like, okay, this is worth it. I need some kind of justification at some point I
01:12:41
Speaker
Well, the first thing for me was that my chin got less, you know, fatty. I got a little bit more of a, yeah, I got less of those. This is nowhere near as big as it used to be. So that right there, I was like, okay, so that's my money maker getting better right now. So I mean, my face has always been one of my best features. Yeah, sure.
01:13:10
Speaker
But uh, you know Got you. Yeah, I know I'm working on it. That was like the the quick result. Well, that's like a month Yes, and that's what I'm hoping I see is something to be like, okay Now I know this is a I'm doing a good thing. I have some justification for doing it. Yeah, there's a result Well, I mean think about well again, how long have you like in this bout? How long have you been?
01:13:38
Speaker
Couple weeks. Okay. Yeah, so you're probably still in the achy like and this happened to me I would say maybe like after a week five or six your body stops doing that and it like your joints and muscles start to kind of feel better and when you walk and Bend over and pick stuff up and get out of your chair you feel better and you don't feel like you're like
01:14:00
Speaker
You don't feel like that anymore. Yeah, like and before I start working out again, you know, I I started feeling really fat And so when I did stuff like I just felt uncomfortable. I'm like, I don't I'm gonna wear big coats and stuff like that and whatnot but now I'm more comfortable wearing just regular shirts and kind of being out there and it just feels a little better and
01:14:25
Speaker
That's why I'm going that's what you got to get to yeah Yeah, just like try getting up out of your chair after week five or six and just being like oh, this is this is But nowhere near as strenuous on my knees as it used to be and I got some muscle near these joints. Oh
01:14:40
Speaker
That's what I'm trying to keep in mind, but I'm so promise I'm so negative and I'm always looking at all the You know negative things that come from it all everything it's gonna cost me to do this thing Well, yeah, so it's like, you know, I have to take the time to do it
01:14:58
Speaker
And then I feel awful, not awful, but I'm like achy after and I'm tired. Yeah, and There's the after effects that come from it. Yeah Well what I can definitely say and this is only because you said you've been doing it for a couple weeks But like you're talking about being really achy and stuff. I like I
01:15:19
Speaker
I would honestly recommend starting out with lighter stuff, maybe like half of what you're doing, because it's really about the consistency more than the intensity when you start out. That's what I'm doing mostly. Okay. It's not like I can't. Because I just wanted to make sure you're not going 100% these past two weeks and then in like another two weeks you're going to be like, all right, I'm done.
01:15:40
Speaker
No, if you just do like half of what you're doing, but you're able to do that for like five months You're gonna have like a lot better system going on and I'm trying to avoid that Kind of because of the baby too because I really can't I don't want to put myself in a position where I can't move my arms very well or it hurts to walk because I'm gonna try to hit a PR and like
01:16:03
Speaker
Pull something by accident, and you're like, okay, okay. Yeah, well, because taking care of the baby's, like, that's not optional, so I'm just gonna have to be in pain if I do something bad. You did like Dan. Yeah, now you have to take him to the hospital. Well, exactly. Like, today I did like, and I'm still fine. Like, I can feel it, but I'm fine. Yeah. Like, I've done arms where I couldn't lift my, like, I couldn't go parallel with my arms.
01:16:32
Speaker
Because it hurt too much. Do some skull crushers. Yeah, I've been in that much ache and I'm not... I'm ache enough to where I know what's happening. But then the other side of it, which is really annoying is if I'm not ache, like if I work out a good amount and I'm not ache, I'm like, did I do anything? Will I like not put any weight on it or...
01:16:55
Speaker
Well, I can guarantee you if you did like say half of what you're doing or maybe three fourths and you weren't necessarily achy that day or you didn't feel like you got a good pump that day, still wait a day and see it tell me that those things aren't like pumping a little bit because I've had those days where like, oh, have a light day. I left the gym. I was like, oh, I'm glad I had such a light day. I'm not tired or anything. I can kind of do a little bit more. And then the next day I woke up and I'm like, ah.
01:17:24
Speaker
Well, I will say the one thing I overdid was my abs Because I used a machine that I didn't realize was going to like obliterate do an exorcism on it Dude I went to bed like because you don't like super feel it until you do something that like your abs Unless you were engaging your core, you're not gonna notice how eggy they are So like I went to bed and I was like I can laugh Jesus. Well, I
01:17:52
Speaker
Well, that's the thing I wasn't even feeling a lot of pain when I was laughing but I was laying in bed and I Laying on my back and I like tried to like adjust my pillow so I had to sit up my head and adjust my pillow and I couldn't oh And then I was like let me sit up and I couldn't like I had to like
01:18:10
Speaker
push my body up with my hands. I had absolutely no ability to lift my body up. I was like, oh, no. And that was last Tuesday and my abs still hurt. Obviously not bad, but I still feel it. That was I don't know what the heck happened if I pulled every single ab I had.
01:18:36
Speaker
Which brings me to the next point Again lower intensity and you could have probably gotten like two more ab days in like you could I guarantee you haven't done abs since that day No, I haven't. Yeah, exactly. You don't want to do abs for a while Yeah, because it still hurt I was like I because it legit was so bad that I was like, I don't know if I pulled something I don't want to go and work it out until it's fine. And then I just go was hard. I
01:19:02
Speaker
So so yeah, I would say like if you did a hundred setups maybe do like 60 or 70 setups That's the best part is I didn't do a superhighweight. It was difficult, but I didn't do a superhighweight. Oh Yeah, you used a machine. Yeah, I did like probably 30 okay, and so Next time you go in next time you go in I know your abs hurt now just do it just do
01:19:33
Speaker
do 10 and leave alone. And then like after that just start doing that every so often for two weeks then move out to 20 the next two weeks and then go to your 30 like warm them up kind of get them up to that weight.
01:19:46
Speaker
But I did not that's probably gonna have well cuz I've done it but work out bombing it have machines that work out your abs I've never had it like like that the immediate effect of holy crap I'm sore now like I think I might have to get on that machine I guarantee you if I stopped at five reps I would have been sore the next day and I don't know what it was like the machine where the bar the bars are above your head and
01:20:12
Speaker
and you have to pull down, yeah, and you crumple like a piece of paper. Yeah, okay, yeah. But there's weight on it too. I did like 80s on those. Yeah, I don't know what weight I put on it. Yeah.
01:20:25
Speaker
But I'm also a big guy so my weight kind of helps me out with that. I kind of have the opposite effect because I'm short. So I have to like I need extra I have to power my arms with more ab muscles than if I was just like pulling from my ears is different from then pulling from above my head.
01:20:46
Speaker
There's a lot more muscle required pull from like my chest like it's like right here to me. I'm just like No, it's it's it's much higher for me When I I learned my lesson the hard way by doing Pamela Rife I don't know if you heard about her. She's a youtuber, but she man some she has like 10 10-minute ab workout for beginner intermediate and stuff like that and
01:21:14
Speaker
man, I was doing that every day or every almost every other day or every day for about a month or so and it got to the point where like
01:21:26
Speaker
I tried to put on her video, I couldn't, like my obliques were just given out. Like I couldn't, I couldn't pick them up to do any bicycles, nothing. I couldn't, like once I laid down flat, I could not pick my legs up anymore and say Jesus. I'm totally dead, yeah. And that made me quit doing abs for a very long time and that was a mistake.
01:21:48
Speaker
Yeah, I learned not to do that anymore. Yeah. Yeah, but and that's kind of the improvement trying to take is the Don't kill myself Because I'll be less likely to go back. I'm just trying to get a workout without I'm not trying to body build Yeah, well, I mean you walk before you run, you know, just yeah It's not like you're gonna go for the next Minister Olympia but you know when when you
01:22:17
Speaker
Make that boy into a chef and young man, you're gonna be, you know, right there next to him looking sharp, looking good. We'll see. I haven't gotten that far yet. See you. I see it, man. I mean, look at you now, baby. I'm good. I'm looking good. But anyways, yeah, so hopefully I can keep up that habit. I've been doing pretty good for going
01:22:48
Speaker
Basically every opportunity I have, like after the baby goes to school, it's been a day or two where I like had meetings at work and I couldn't. Um, but as long as I'm free, I go. Yeah. And it's, uh, taking its toll on my body and on my sleep because I'm freaking tired. Yeah. Fair enough. No, that that's true. That's for trueness.
01:23:09
Speaker
Since I run run home pretty much every day now. Yeah, yeah Yeah, my my legs are like hey, and my my hips are like hey, buddy. Yeah Okay, cool, but I mean like they're they're getting over my I haven't had any issues with my foot or knee or anything like that so I think it's getting used to the Pressure in the bounces and the unevenness of the road. Yeah
01:23:39
Speaker
Interestingly enough I guess because like with hockey you use a lot of ankles and kind of you need a little bit of ankle strength but in a way your ankle is kind of braced up since you're it's locked into your skate and it's different when you're trying to run on uneven like road and grass and stuff like that and
01:24:03
Speaker
because your ankles bend in certain ways like from that and like you have to be able to stabilize yourself and not roll your ankle or break it or anything like that so definitely uh works works out that little part a little bit more i've noticed that i get a little bit more uh soreness than the bottom of my uh my calves yeah i don't doubt it there's a it is a different movement yeah and i'm not good at either of them anyways i'm not trying to
01:24:33
Speaker
Dragging this out too long. We've been on here for a while now Two hours and 13 minutes. I have to save save something for the next podcast No, yeah, I think this This conversation was a little more Organic because it's easier for us to be angry about something Yeah, I know I don't have to think about it too much beforehand
Podcast Conclusion
01:25:01
Speaker
Yeah, well, thanks for joining me. I'm always frustrated. Yeah, I know Yeah, no problem And all you listeners out there. Thanks for sticking with us for this long. If you have please like and subscribe Yeah, we'll see if anybody actually hears it. They probably will delete it Brought to you by our sponsor. Um my the hot source
01:25:24
Speaker
Yeah, mildly hot source. Get your hot source today. Mildly, sorry. You're mildly hot source. Not really. Not trademarked. From the mildly network.
01:25:40
Speaker
All right, man, we'll we'll see, you know, I'm kind of going to play by here as to which podcast we do when kind of just going to flip a coin and see which one we want to do it in that week. Fair enough. But we'll we'll be back on here in some form here shortly. But yeah.
01:26:01
Speaker
Like I said, we have two years of frustrations to kind of blow through. So we might we might honestly come back here more more times than not. Alan, like I said, anyway, I did miss this a different kind of vibe.
01:26:20
Speaker
We'll definitely be coming back to it. Thank you guys for joining us. I know it's been kind of a, we took a long break and hopefully that doesn't have to happen again. We appreciate you sticking it out with us and hopefully we'll see you guys here soon. We hope you guys enjoy the rest of the week and if we're not back for another year, we hope you enjoy the rest of your year. Alright, well have a good one. Keep talking to you Nick.
01:26:44
Speaker
Have a good have a good 2024 and good luck out there. Yeah, that's me He's out peace