Transcript
Speaker: Come on, it'll be just like in the movies. We'll pretend to be someone else. You don't just lie for no reason at all, folks. You know, just all of a sudden. A big lie will spill out of your evil head there. You know a guy will come up and go, hey, you ever see that movie with Meryl Streep and the horse? And then you go.
Speaker: Yes! man va gra What the hell am I lying about over here? I stand to gain nothing by this lie. i Roll the dice and take your chances. You know something, Marge? It's not that tough being a film cricket.
Speaker: Stay a while and listen.
Speaker: Let's begin now. Welcome back into the dungeon dungeon crawlers. I hope you've got your popcorn pop and you are ready with your lights off here at the drive -in, please adjust.
Speaker: your speakers so that the noise is coming through. We're back with, I think this will hopefully be our first kind of normal episode, but there ain't nothing normal about the folks that I have with me. I am Andy Wilson. I am your humble dungeon master and my avatar Jeff Virtues is stuck in this evil plane of existence. where he has to watch movies and then play Dungeons & Dragons. Joining me this week are two of my absolute favorite people and part of... hopefully our normal rotating cast of people. My first
Speaker: movie buddy ever dating back to when we were young kids and going out to the movies ate Provo, Utah. My younger sibling, Kit. How you doing, Kit? I'm fine. Thank you. How are you?
Speaker: I'm good. And you've got a character. Tell us. really quickly who your character is. I am playing as Karloff. our love is unspeakably old.
Speaker: Creepy. as a druid. And. might remind you of some Old actor who may or may not have played the Grinch.
Speaker: Karloff is a druid. who can wild shapes into well we'll see It's a Boris Perros, so there might be a dog.
Speaker: But we'll see. I don't know because... Yeah, we'll see. Yeah, I introduced this in episode one saying we're going to have very... Loose rules, rule of cool. Karloff.
Speaker: is not playing normal wild shape rules. We're re -skinning a lot of things so that the game doesn't get totally out of balance. We're going to let Karloff do some crazy things with Wild Shape. But.
Speaker: Speaking of doing crazy things. We've also got... Brooke. I'm here. Welcome to Dungeons and Drive -Ins, Brooke. Thank you so much for having me. I am so glad you are here.
Speaker: And you've got... Your character. who I am very excited about. Yes, my character is, well, I'm a fairy. I am a music -wielding badass fairy who may or may not resemble Tracy Lord, my name is Calliope Magmara Lord.
Speaker: So we're very excited about that. I don't know if you checked your inventory. I dropped a bunch of special treats in there for you. I mean let's be honest This is my first time ever playing any sort of D and &D on any level. I don't know what inventory means. or Oh.
Speaker: really what I'm doing here at all. I just know... This is where we're starting. Well, that's going to be the fun thing about this. And I hope that this is also then a good starting place for a lot of people who.
Speaker: Like you. this is maybe their first time playing. And I want this to be super beginner friendly. Yeah, we'll get to that. But before we do that. We've got to get through.
Speaker: This movie that we watched. The dice chose last time around. Alejandro Iñárritu's Freshman film. Amores Peros. And.
Speaker: Wow, I was not prepared for this. Kit, I wish when we were rolling dice you had warned me. Help. brutal this was.
Speaker: Um... But ah you were right when you were like, oh, I was really hardcore and I watched all these hardcore movies. I'm like. Yeah, you did So you saw this when this first came out.
Speaker: I saw this in the theater in 2000. back when I was a hardcore film student. And I remember it leaving me very unsettled.
Speaker: But... I couldn't really remember anything else. Yeah. Well, Contact warning. 20 year old mormon with not a lot of like real life experience a lot of things left me so do that Well, there we go. This reminded me of like you and mom for many.
Speaker: years would like. go see like the craziest movie you could on Christmas day. And like mom would call me on Christmas and be like, um here We just got back from Cecil B. Demented, and I'm like...
Speaker: That doesn't sound very Christmassy, but... I'm glad. Thank you all. Have a good time. Anyway, up. But. Content trigger warning before we go through any of this.
Speaker: This film. does center around dogfighting very prominently in one of its main storylines. There is. A lot. And I mean a lot.
Speaker: Of harm to dogs, dog death. brutal, bloody dog death. and like I wish I had had that warning. Really?
Speaker: Did not remember that. I did Google it. No dogs were harmed. during the making of this film. Thank you. I assumed that and I kept telling myself that, but it's so realistic. Apparently like dogs during the dog fighting were wearing. muzzles made out of fishing line.
Speaker: And... any dog that was portrayed as dead or hurt was sedated. by a veterinarian. So they were. Okay. which it was very important because that 15 minutes into this movie I'm like I don't know if I can hang if like I don't know these dogs are actually okay I honestly didn't know how JB was going to watch this.
Speaker: Well, and I don't. think he did. Our good friend JB. I'm excusing JB, Melissa and Mark, all of whom had. Life going on. and weren't able to make it this time around. but Yeah, this is one of those movies that if anybody skipped for content.
Speaker: I would not blame them at all. This is just really, really brutal. Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert! Spoilers incoming.
Speaker: Skip if you do not want this plot spoiled. I am going to give the world's. quickest and most incomplete plot summary. Let's see if I can do this in. Less than a minute and a half. We start off in chaos and traffic. Two desperate young men. Octavio and Jorge are tearing through the streets of Mexico City in a frantic car chase.
Speaker: in their backseat, their Rottweiler Kofi. is bleeding to death from a gunshot wound. They blast through a red light and violently T -bone another car. The film then rewinds to show us how we got to this exact moment. Octavio is dangerously obsessed with his abusive brother's pregnant wife, Susanna.
Speaker: Desperate to buy their escape, he exploits his dog Kofi in brutal high -stakes underground dogfights. When a sore loser shoots Kofi, Octavio stabs the man. and they flee, leading directly into that opening, devastating intersection crash. The perspective then shifts to the woman Octavia O 'Kitt. Valeria, a glamorous supermodel. She just moved into a luxury apartment with her wealthy married lover, Daniel.
Speaker: The crash shatters her leg instantly destroying her career. And she's confined to a wheelchair and her small lap dog slips into a hole in the floorboards.
Speaker: and gets trapped. The dog's frantic scratching echoes through the apartment for days, driving the isolated couple insane as Valeria's leg. turns gangrenous and eventually requires full amputation. Finally, the lens shifts to El Chivo. a homeless ex -guerrilla and hitman who witnessed the crash.
Speaker: He rescues Octavio's wounded dog from the wreckage and also steals. All of Octavio's money. While he's doing that. and then nurses it back to health. But the dog's violent training takes over and it slaughters Chivo's beloved pack of street dogs.
Speaker: This heartbreak trivers a map. triggers a massive awakening. instead of executing his next assassination target. He chains the target to the man who hired him.
Speaker: Two feuding brothers. and leaves them with a single gun between them and walks away. Cleaned up and reborn, he leaves a taped confession to his estranged daughter. and wanders off into the barren wasteland with the surviving dog.
Speaker: leaving the violence behind. There's a lot more to it because like Kit said, this movie is almost three hours long. I think the runtime is 238 or 240.
Speaker: It's... It's a lot. And... Yeah, it is. brutal, it is violent, it is... hard to watch in so many places. But what did you both think?
Speaker: I don't like this movie. That's terrible. in espanol In English. I do not like this movie. It is terrible.
Speaker: wow Really? It is terrible, and I really kind of loved it. It's beautifully made. I mean, this is a movie that from a filmmaking perspective is awesome because it shows you what you can do with film. and what looks like a very low price point.
Speaker: There is no special effects. This is not slick. It looks very real life. It's very gritty. but emotionally. It is.
Speaker: Honestly, I think with real life experience, it is more disturbing to me now in my 40s than it was when I was 20. Because when I was 20, I was like, oh. That's hardcore.
Speaker: And now in my 40s, I'm like. You. Pinche pendejos no molestan los aceros. Don't Hurt the dogs. See it. Everybody was so selfish.
Speaker: and unlikable. which is, again, Great. Film wise, but. Terrible. in real life. yeah Brooke, what do you what do you think? redeem this for you? What made it more watchable?
Speaker: I think there are two types of groups of friends in the world. I think there are those groups of friends who all... Or like... connected through really very real horrific struggle of trying to make it to tomorrow.
Speaker: Like they don't have the time yet to enjoy the journey because they really just have to get to tomorrow. And they're not sure where food is coming from and where safety is coming from and where all these things are coming from.
Speaker: And then... And once you start to get that figured out a little bit more. You're tired and you're hurting and there's so many things going on. and I think that this movie is a very hard pill to swallow of what can be a reality for some people. It doesn't have to be. And there can be escape from it. And I don't think life has to be hard. I don't think life has to be a struggle in order to be beautiful.
Speaker: But for a lot of people, it is. And there's something about this movie. It's like crazy, stupid love. but on like the opposite side of that coin. And I like the way that...
Speaker: It is centered around love and how hard that can be to love when the struggle to survive is never eased. and it's always hard. And I think that is the heart of this movie is there's the.
Speaker: the single unifying tragedy of this car crash. But you essentially have three love stories going on. You have who, by the way.
Speaker: is a very young Gael Garcia Bernal. This is his first full movie. And then the next movie he does is Ito Mama Tambien. So, like, talk about a... you know, hitting two home runs back to back right out of the gate. Anyway, he and... Susanna, his sister -in -law who he pines for.
Speaker: And that is a. deeply fucked up relationship in so many ways. And then you have Danielle and Valeria. Which is also kind of a fucked up. relationship.
Speaker: Because he's married and he's leaving his wife for. this supermodel. And there's a lot of mistrust because of that. It goes to show that it isn't just like, oh, the class differences.
Speaker: Make life. harder or easier. It's like. it is hard for both of them And then you have El Chivo. His daughter thinks he's dead. And all he wants to do is be able to. reconcile with her. And he's really kind of creepy, but he does love her in a way. All of the money he gets. from all of this.
Speaker: he ends up with. like hundreds of thousands of pesos by the by the end of this. And he just leaves it all for her. before like walking off into the sunset. it's like man this love is hard This is really tough.
Speaker: I really liked and hated the common theme of dogs through the whole thing, even through the name into the, like the reality of like, it is a thread that.
Speaker: connect so many of us in these different and weird tricky ways yeah have you seen I can never say it right. The movie from the 80s. uh, Koyanisgati?
Speaker: huge movie Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. Is it? It's all music and it's just moving scenes and people. It reminded me of that movie.
Speaker: In this way that it's like... scenes of people from around the world and different struggles and different realities and different financial situations and it's going back and forth from all these things without all the sadness but the same sort of interconnectedness it I don't know why it made me think of that movie but it did.
Speaker: I think... you know in iñárritu obviously is a fan of that in terms of like the the shot choices he chooses to make, the way he even like plans movies around. Like I'm only going to use ambient light. to do this like he did with the revenant and and things like that where He cares about that craft and that seems very evident.
Speaker: And I do think that's what's most interesting here as... I think. Kip pointed out. that like this is This is done on a very low budget. but He's showing a lot of care and a lot of craft in in all of this It is also a part of a trilogy, the films 21 Grams and Babel.
Speaker: are both part of what is referred to as his death trilogy. ah where in... similar. in similar ways.
Speaker: He shows. interconnected lives. that are connected through like a single tragedy. In 21 grams, it's another car crash. in Babel there's a there's a shooting in Morocco.
Speaker: they're interesting I went. back and... Watch those as well. just for my own edification. I'd seen 21 Grams before. I had not seen Babel. So I was glad to.
Speaker: pick those up along the way as well. Can I talk about the like the concept of love versus safety. In this movie? well Absolutely. Go for it. So. I feel like love slash connection.
Speaker: versus safety was a big. deal. Like. I saw it. I mean, you saw it with ah Octavio and Susana, where it's like, it seems like love was almost crazy making, where people are making these.
Speaker: very risky decisions in their lives and for in other people's lives that you know things that are going to really negatively affect your family. sleeping with your brothers. wife when your brother is a gangbanger.
Speaker: is Gonna blow up the family in a really dangerous way. And even his mom had said like, You need to spend less time with her. you know he doesn't like that and when his you know his brother didn't like something it was implied that he became physically abusive. This is Anna.
Speaker: But the one thing that. really touched me was uh when of chivo broke into his daughter's apartment. to look at her photos. And.
Speaker: I was like. You know. I know some people. who, you know when not well, might do something that risky to... feel close or connected.
Speaker: to you know a family member or someone they loved. And. I was just like. This does not make me feel safe. If you can't be in your own house. and be safe.
Speaker: because of a family member coming in and stealing your photos. And that's the bare minimum. i feel like this is Kind of something he wants us to unpack emotionally in our lives and be like, hey, do you have somebody in your...
Speaker: life that kind of makes you feel like maybe they didn't take their medication or maybe they aren't the safest person to be around because they love you so much. I love you so much.
Speaker: ah Hey, I'm totally normal. I'm just... Coming in here, you're dead stepdad. I am putting my face. on top of his face.
Speaker: and leaving that in a photo. After I killed him because your mom died and I was upset about it. Motive unknown. Why? Why? No, and because he got Luigi'd in a restaurant.
Speaker: Ugh. terrible. Yeah. anyway So, yeah. I just want to, if you don't feel safe at home. or if you are in a relationship where that person Dup. wants to connect with you or love on you.
Speaker: is not safe. Please seek help. set boundaries. and work it out in therapy because it is. Very hurtful. Just saying. Yeah. And I'll step down from my soapbox now. No, that's good. Brooke, any other final thoughts? I watched it on the drive home. So it was kind of. broken up because of bad service and different things. and um Mm hmm.
Speaker: I think I would say if you're gonna watch it. break it up. Like give yourself breathers in between. Think about what's going on in each segment. the impact of like i I liked that I took breaks to like think about like who would I be if dogfighting was the easiest way to safety. And like...
Speaker: the true path in my life that i had to be able to to take care of the person that i wanted to be and that i loved that i saw being hurt and then like sitting with that like i would never do that i don't know that i wouldn't ever do that i don't know that i wouldn't ever do that i would like to say that i wouldn't ever do that but if i saw my kid in a situation being harmed and i had legitimately no other tools i don't know i don't know so it's a hard movie to watch Don't want my kid to watch it now. Yeah. I i do not wanna watch this with my kids.
Speaker: Let's transition into... Howard. D and &D session
Speaker: So I will narrate. this next part You both find yourself... transported. Into. this dungeon world with me.
Speaker: having communicated with me and I said please. Bring your D and &D character with you. And... Help me. through this.
Speaker: You appear. At a door. the light over the door. Lights up. saying that cameras are rolling. And we walk into this arena, an arena unlike anything else you've...
Speaker: really ever seen There is a magical mystical Or, uh... around this room ah purple pulsing eldritch energy.
Speaker: that separates you from a crowd in the stands. And we find ourselves. in a recreation of the very intersection. from Amores Peros.
Speaker: where the fateful car accident happens. But. Everything is clear. We do recognize El Chivo's over there walking down the street with his dogs.
Speaker: But nothing has happened yet. And. Uh, over the loudspeaker. But we can see in in the... crowd and announcer stands up. He is a...
Speaker: Giant. gelatinous cube wearing a fedora and a scarf. Ladies and gentlemen, I am your host Stanley Kubrick.
Speaker: Welcome to Cinematic Mayhem! Our new challenger for the day. Jeff Virtues and his amazing friends. Welcome, friends.
Speaker: Fans, let's hope they turn out a little better than our other dungeon crawlers. We know we have. a lot of People who don't survive their first round.
Speaker: And here we go. Alright, we are here. uh, Is there anything the two of you want to do?
Speaker: in terms of where we want to be standing, where we want to position ourselves. Do we want to be together? Do we want to? Do we want to prepare anything?
Speaker: I think we know what's about to happen. Karloff would like to stand. on the sidewalk. Not in the streets. Okay. especially risky at this moment.
Speaker: Yeah. So let's all. Let's all go. Stand on. street corner here. Hey, that's interesting. That that is exactly the...
Speaker: street corner. where... We're third you can see on the map there's the little dog. And I have this guy who says, Warrior veteran, that is El Chivo's stand -in.
Speaker: So. Uh... with that Let's everybody. Roll. A dexterity saving throw. On your character sheet.
Speaker: just underneath your... your picture. and your skills. There's another box with... Saving throws. And you'll see like.
Speaker: Brooke, for instance. Calliope. Has a dex plus five. on your saving throw. And... let's see if we can all Dodge what?
Speaker: we know is about to come in. Okay, wait, what am I doing? Okay. Look on your character sheet. uh -huh and Under my picture. uh -huh Then you see like strength dexterity. And then you see another box. That says saving throws. Below that, saving throws. I see. Okay. Correct.
Speaker: So... Put the one next, click the button next to decks. to roll your saving throw. Boop! or Is that good?
Speaker: Yes. A higher number is better. You are great. Yay! So, Brooke, you rolled a 29? 24, 24, sorry, not 29. uh Kit, you got a seven.
Speaker: I got a 10. Oh, because it adds that little number that's in the box next to it, yeah? Correct. so But you... for me. But you're a fairy and a bard, and you get you get some extra bonuses, too. your dexterity. So that's very good. on your saving throws.
Speaker: ah Out of nowhere, a car comes speeding through the intersection as the light changes. And. crashes into The.
Speaker: Oncoming. traffic. Calliope is able to... Uh, Jump. free of that ah But. Karloff and Jeff.
Speaker: ah We're both going to take three points of damage from... flying debris. that hits us. Calliope, you are okay. You are undamaged.
Speaker: It is exactly as in the movie. The cars catch on fire. There's glass. There's debris. There's fluid in oils. leaking out.
Speaker: And... ah We're here. in this moment of mayhem. Let's all... role initiative. which is on the right -hand side of your sheet, Brooke.
Speaker: under saving throws Uh, No. kind of in the middle. Oh, I see the little diamond looking one. Yeah, the little diamond one thing that says initiative.
Speaker: And this is going to determine what order we all go in. What did you end up with? Brooke, for your initiative. Six. Okay.
Speaker: I got 14. a Kit, what did you get? I rolled a nine. He rolled a nine. So i think I think that means I get to go first.
Speaker: I am going to choose... to... weight. And. Because I'm the DM and because whatever choice we make here.
Speaker: changes what the challenges we're going to face. And I know what those are. I don't want to choose what. one that's going to be. So...
Speaker: I'm gonna let... Both of you go. first and wait for for my turn. So. Uh, So Brooke. What do you want to do?
Speaker: I don't know what my options were. Okay. Yeah. I want to help. Okay. Whose car do you want to run to? Do you want to...
Speaker: uh, I want to run to the girl's car. Okay. So go ahead and move your guy over to the silver car. Okay. And.
Speaker: Go ahead and are you just going to try to open the door? I wanna put out the fire. Okay, cool. Do you have any spells? Do you have like a...
Speaker: Do you have create? or uh destroy water I can't remember if you have that or not. I don't... I play a tuba.
Speaker: Huh. You have druidcraft. Does that let... No. You can snuff out a candle, a torch or a small light campfire.
Speaker: using druidcraft The fire is not that big. I will let you cast Druidcraft. From your fairy magic if you would like to do that I would love to.
Speaker: Under your spells... You'll notice... At the top, you have cantrips. Cantrips are, all of your spells have levels. I thought that said catnip.
Speaker: ah All of your spells have levels. And you currently have four first level. Spell slots. and two second level spell slots. So you can only...
Speaker: You can only cast. those six spells. But you also have cantrips, which are like a level zero spell. And you can cast those as many times as you want.
Speaker: without a spell slot. So. ah So you can do any of those. You'll notice next to Druidcraft, it says that the time it takes is one action.
Speaker: On your turn, you can take an action. a bonus action. You can move your movement. and you can do a reaction.
Speaker: which we'll get to. Anyway, if you want to use your action to cast Druidcraft... and put out the fire on her car you can go ahead and do that Okay.
Speaker: I would love to do that Do you want to flavor that in any way? Do you want to describe how you? pull fairy magic from From somewhere.
Speaker: I can narrate it for you or I want to allow you. I'm going to need a little guidance for the first. time for doing this. Absolutely. Yes. Because I don't know that my description would be appropriate.
Speaker: ah You worried about offending sponsors or something? Okay. I'll narrate it for you. oh okay drawing from your innate.
Speaker: fairy magic. You are a being. Of. Great. volatile Uh, natural magic pulling that out of the ether and swirling it around you you are able to Just...
Speaker: As if you tamp down. on this fire coming from the hood of her car. Uh, with. a hand throwing baking soda on a grease fire It has the same effect.
Speaker: The fire is out. I will let you use your bonus action to try to open the car door. if you would like. Okay.
Speaker: Go ahead and give me a strength. Check. looking at your skills. you'll notice now strength is unfortunately the thing you're not good at. So you have a minus two, but if you want to. Click on that.
Speaker: We'll see, maybe you're able to do something in wrench or car door open. Do I click on the minus two? so Correct. Oh. What did you roll for? talk.
Speaker: three, Okay. That's okay. bomber You're just a little fairy. You're just a little fairy, but you put out the fire with your magic. So you're good there.
Speaker: and And Karloff and I are much... are much stronger. Okay. With you. Karloff, you take your turn next.
Speaker: Harlow. Peace. has been observing the situation And... trying to figure out What?
Speaker: They want what the gelatinous cube. once. in this moment. But what the hell? I'm going. to Move to the car.
Speaker: And... try to wrench the door open. with my shillelagh. slash Wolf's headed cane. Excellent. or to try exrate extricate.
Speaker: a Driver? and my and use a well Let me, let me check one moment, sorry.
Speaker: DM, I'm going to meta play for a second. That's fine. Check if I have cure wounds as a bonus action or as an action. I believe as an action.
Speaker: So I will use my bonus action to shillelagh. And then... It's listed as a possible... action in combat.
Speaker: so or an attack. So is that, is that. Oh sure. Uh, You can... So. or Are you asking if you can use Shillelagh as your bonus action?
Speaker: to try to open the door. And then use cure wounds as your action. Yes. Yeah. Because. The normal rule is you can't cast two.
Speaker: spells in a round. You can do a spell and a cantrip, though. Yes. You're good with that. So I'm going to... Start with the chalet.
Speaker: to move so I... It wouldn't be fair. Because Karloff has not seen this movie, I'm assuming.
Speaker: Has Karloff seen this movie? Karloff? Karloff has your meta knowledge. You can... So I know. Sorry for the spoiler. that the passenger Es muerto.
Speaker: he's dead. He has ceased. to be. He is. An X. amigo So I love is going to use his 30 feet of movement.
Speaker: to move to the driver's side. of the brown car. Is that within 30 feet? I... Don't think so. Oh, no. Uh... i don't because because you'd have to go through the car And to do that, I'm going to count that as rough terrain.
Speaker: And you you would be just out of. So that would that would Out of. now you You can make it to the silver cars.
Speaker: Okay. if i can make it And try to open that. That. sounds like plan. Okay. So... Roll for air. Attack.
Speaker: I rolled a nine to hit Okay, you're able to hit it and... That definitely gets started, but you're not.
Speaker: You're not. white there. For the... purposes of this though I will say that the impact of your shillelagh also breaks the car window.
Speaker: So you're able to reach in and... ah touch her if you want to cast Cure Wounds. Awesome sauce. Something you would probably never hear classic actors saying.
Speaker: Spells, where are my spells? so I'm going to use a Second level cure wounds. Okay.
Speaker: And it's 27. Uh, She almost completely okay. Guess what? In this timeline. she's probably not going to lose her leg.
Speaker: This is that's pretty amazing. ah She's... She's scratched up and hurt. but she's going to be able to. to get out okay. So that's really amazing. Now, I want...
Speaker: Both of you. Now. though, to give me another Dexterity saving throw. Let's wait about that. I rolled a 20.
Speaker: Okay? I was muted. I rolled an eight. You rolled an eight. It's about that shit. At this point, Stanley Kubrick hits some buttons and says...
Speaker: Oh, we've got some heroes here. Well, unfortunately, it's never that easy here in the dungeon. And. Below you. The asphalt underneath you.
Speaker: turns into hardwood flooring. that Starts breaking underneath you and you both have to jump out of the way or fall into the crawl space.
Speaker: Karloff succeeds. And so you're able to move. I'm gonna move you back. a couple feet. just a couple feet you're able to But Calliope falls down into the hole.
Speaker: And suddenly... You are surrounded by... ah swarms of Rats. God, no! Yes. There are there are rats in the crawl space. So so the good news is, ah you know.
Speaker: Richie the dog isn't going to have to deal with this. Unfortunately, we are. Appearing. behind them. as if out of of the ether.
Speaker: uh there is a guy who you kind of assume is their leader. a sort of almost human -sized Wear a rat. who is hissing and Yeah, rodent of unusual sizing. at you.
Speaker: With that, I am going to take my turn. And I am going to target. This first. swarm of rats I am going to...
Speaker: No, I'm just going to attack with my... with my weapon That definitely hits the rats. I do. 14. damage to them.
Speaker: And. that little group of rats goes kaput. Yay. Hey, these guys aren't too difficult to... to kill let's let's take these guys down And that's it. And I'll try to.
Speaker: use the rest of my movement to kind of pin myself in between. you. or between the rats and the rest of them so that they don't.
Speaker: from the rest of you. Uh, If they attack anyone, hopefully they'll attack me. Okay. I am going, it is now going to be the. Rats.
Speaker: Turn. The were -rat. is going to He's going to take a... a scratch. Melee attack on me. He rolls a 16 and that misses.
Speaker: This swarm of rats is going to... Try to get me. They're going to try to bite me. They roll a 19. I am super armored. I have an armor class of 21 Even though they rolled a 19, they miss.
Speaker: uh so they just bite into my metal armor and don't hit anything. the second group of rats. All right, guys. Now attack me too. That's a seven and they just completely miss. Okay. We're back up to the...
Speaker: to the top of the order. then. What would Calliope like to do? If you have any sort of attack spells or... attack actions if you want to try to try to take these guys out.
Speaker: Our friend is mostly stabilized in the car. So. Okay. I would like to. blast my tuba at them and make them So... discombobulated, they fall back in the hole and go away.
Speaker: Can I do that? Let's see. Do we have any... And he... Bells that... do something like that? I'm trying to think of What?
Speaker: the illusion I don't think you have like a... that Sorry, Wisp. Oh yeah, you can throw a starry wisp at them. That would be pretty good. Yeah Yeah.
Speaker: Okay, how do I do that? So choose who you want to target and press the plus six. So there's two groups of rats and there's...
Speaker: And there's the rat leader. Who do you want to go after? I want to go after this. Band of rats, right? The one in the middle. So how do I? Okay. Push the plus 6.
Speaker: Yeah. So just on your character sheet. Yeah. Oh, my character sheet. Oh. plus Six. I don't see that. I'm so sorry. So next to where you have your starry wisp spell.
Speaker: Mm hmm. Oh, there. Okay. I'm so sorry. yeah I see it. All right. I'm going to throw it right at them. faces. Sweet. Brooke, that's a nat 20.
Speaker: Yay! So you definitely hit them. That means your damage is doubled. Roll high. Roll high, and you can probably take these guys out.
Speaker: So I roll again. No, you roll the 1d8. thing that right next to it for your damage It says 2D8. Is that the one? Yes.
Speaker: Yep. Okay. So now you get to do 2D8. You did it. The swarm of rats has exactly 14 hit points. You conjure. again, out of your innate fairy magic.
Speaker: And. Beam of Starlight. that emanates from your fingers. and gathers around you. And then creates this beautiful spectral. sousaphone around you.
Speaker: You blow into it. out of its top. it The stars. beam out of it. and just in a ah wall.
Speaker: of astral energy. a Just knock them out of existence. And those are, those are X rats. Okay. Do you have anything you want to do with a bonus action?
Speaker: Shoot, what can I do with bonus actions? you could You could try opening the door again. I mean, that's not Yeah, let's do it. You're a strong suit, but okay, go for it. So I do that with the strength. I pushed my little negative two. Oh, you know what else you can do? You're a bard. You can also give people bardic inspiration with your bonus action.
Speaker: But that's okay. Yep. Hey, you know what? i'm gonna I'm going to keep this role, though. That's good enough, but you only needed a 10. uh after the door was shillelagh to to get opened up and you rolled an 11. She were able to get. the door open.
Speaker: Sweet. so ah That's... That's great. KIT Karloff's turn. Do you want to kill some guys or do you want to get her out of the car?
Speaker: since She is stable -ish. I wanna kill some guys. Okay. I'm checking some stuff, sorry. Nope. that That's not what we can use. I'm trying to see...
Speaker: If I can... Hall of Familiar And. Have that familiar. attack and also attack.
Speaker: But I have to check. Because I'm really not sure. i'm playing with spells. Yeah, I think normally when you... Unless they get their own initiative order, I think if you...
Speaker: Someone someone they normally don't they Get into the action until the next. Until the following turn, yeah. Well, that. It's frustrating. Mhm. um Alrighty then.
Speaker: Let me open my character sheet all the way. So... I am going... two Take a chance.
Speaker: And... I'm going to Wild Shape. into A wolfman. Okay. to fight these rats. Okay. because El Chivo needs more dolls.
Speaker: As a Wolfman, I'm going to play with... Hey. Dire wolves. Call it a Wolfman.
Speaker: So... This is going to take some math I might need your help with. umm Okay. yeah skip it over with So... If I want to attack...
Speaker: as the dire wolf Is that still within my action? Or is that my bonus action? I think you... You shift using bonus action.
Speaker: and then you can attack using your action. Okay. So and if I'm wrong About that, sorry, rules lawyers. Sorry, we'll check for next time. I like this trick.
Speaker: I'm going to bite. Which is a melee attack roll plus And I can read. Okay. That means I need to move closer to the were -rat.
Speaker: Okay. How close can I get to the were -rat? You can get right up on him. You can get him. you're I'm going to get uncomfortably close to the were -rat like Octavio coming at Susanna.
Speaker: Ugh. Yeah, uncomfortably close to the whereabouts. And then... Let's see. to figure out how how to actually do the Biting.
Speaker: that plus five. So moving. Huh? And I rolled a 28 to hit. That's also... a Uh, a nat 20.
Speaker: So remember to... double your damage. Double my damage! Alright. Methinks this is going to be an X. We're at Yes, I can.
Speaker: I think, well, oh, that's unfortunate. It's only... for bludgeoning damage. okay That can't be right. And then it's plus something because of the... biting.
Speaker: Okay, how how much? Because he doesn't have that many hit points.
Speaker: uh, hit Oh, it's H. I. 1d10 plus 3 piercing damage. So let me try to find a d10.
Speaker: That was... Only a... four I'm sorry. That's okay. Plus three. So seven hit points. Okay, I'm just going to narrate this. Okay.
Speaker: the The intensity of... both of your hits. Coming in with... Back to Nat 20s. ah The. the were -rat leader and his rats.
Speaker: are scared by this. knowing they're outmanned, outclassed. they skitter back down into the crawl space and run away. Fireworks go off overhead. You're able to help Valeria out of her car.
Speaker: ah She waves to the crowd. Everyone's cheering. They open up the other car and oh, and hey, and everybody's okay. The dog's okay too. El Chivo was able to...
Speaker: stabilize everyone. This is a big wind condition. Everyone's super happy, and... As the crowd cheers, a door opens up. And we're able to go into the next room.
Speaker: And as we enter the next room, we again find... A treasure chest. And we open it up. And there are a set of dice. for us to roll our next movie. let's go to ratings and awards brooke remember when we were watching hitchcock movies and we would declare So sad we never finished that.
Speaker: Yes. oh Well, now's a good time to pick it up again. I know.
Speaker: Hitchcock still, stills out there. So whenever you want to, like we, anyway, but we would give an award to the midge of the movie. Named for Jimmy Stewart's secretary in Vertigo. Midge is like the best character in Vertigo. I will not be taking questions or arguments otherwise. In my opinion, she's what makes that movie. She takes that movie from a 4 .5 to a 5. She is the secret sauce. I want us to come up with an award that is like the Midge, but for this podcast. For now, I'm going to i'll call it the Midge.
Speaker: I might call it the Gygax, named after Gary Gygax, who was one of the inventors of Dungeons & Dragons. But I'm open to different names, so if y 'all have ideas for what to name this award.
Speaker: But essentially, who is the character who most sticks out to you? Who is the MVP character of the movie? I feel like El Chivo... is the thread that goes through the movie.
Speaker: as kind of like the observer and so for me also he has some humanity to him that he's not willing to compromise about. But I get. it But I also kind of going back to what Brooke was saying, where it's like extreme circumstances. But yeah, El Chivo is my favorite.
Speaker: He is the Sam Riegel. of this i don't know throwing it out there yeah I kind of vacillate between El Chivo and Julieta. Like... her. If we're talking about like...
Speaker: Love's a bitch. and all the destruction that is happening in this movie. in Hearst dead fastness in compassion and understanding and love even in seeing the fault of her partner and the father of her children and her just Gentle plea.
Speaker: to love him still is such contrast to the rest of the love. that is happening throughout this movie that she's like that scene broke my heart it stood out to me so fucking hard i loved it uh susanna you mean the that's the no the wife of liha Of Daniel. Oh, Julieta.
Speaker: What's his name? Yeah, the wife of Danielle, I think. ah Danielle's... A wife. Oh. Ex -wife. But obviously okay also the prank caller.
Speaker: in the new house. Yeah. I mean, that's funny. It is funny. It's ironic. And it' your it's your just desserts, biatch. Yeah. ah So... No, Brooke, I hadn't even thought of that.
Speaker: Yeah, she's amazing. She is the antiserum. She is the antithesis to all. She is the thing that doesn't cave to the lowest denominator in the rest of the movie. be.
Speaker: Yeah. I completely agree. Although I tend to agree with Kit. What does Chivo mean in Spanish? Goat. El Chivo is the GOAT of this movie. i also thought about this in terms of him also being a scapegoat. A sin eater. The person that. bad people ask to do bad things.
Speaker: so that they can keep their hands clean and have clear consciences. And he has to take... that burden on for the world. The thing that I also reflected on. The first time I saw him, I'm like, whoa. That homeless guy. is hella cool, and he looks exactly like Iñárritu does. right now.
Speaker: like Have you seen a recent photo of him? He looks exactly like El Chivo. And I'm just like. Did it. Did he just make like a self insert? A scruffy middle -aged version. that he could grow into.
Speaker: Like, imagine if George Lucas. in American graffiti was like, Yeah, there's there's this like a 50 year old guy in a plaid shirt. who like hangs out with the teenagers and he's got a He's got a beard and he talks about mythology and Joseph Campbell a lot.
Speaker: You're like, what is this character you like? put in here that is who you will become. I just, I know. I don't know what's up with that. But I feel like.
Speaker: There's something up with that. So I just... That was... That was my weird thought. about. El Chivo. Actual ratings. We're going to rate. these movies on a scale of 1 to 20. like rolling a d20. So if this is a perfect 10 out of 10.
Speaker: That's a 20. If you're used to doing it out of five, it's just whatever. That is times four. So. Where do... You come down on this.
Speaker: I'm at, I think, an 18. Like I really, really respect. the film overall. and what it is trying to do. It is a hard watch. but I come away with it or I come away from it really respecting the craft.
Speaker: Yeah, I think I would be... We're doing out of 20, right? Out of 20, yeah. sorry to make you think i'm at a 16. no i'm good i'm gonna put this one at a 16.
Speaker: It was hard to watch and I think it is an important perspective. for the world to have of like. we can We can tout our morality all that we want to. But if we have not been in. that situation like i think it is survival is the first step of life and if we if we can't get past that so much else is lost but also i don't know that it's a movie for everyone 100%.
Speaker: I wish I could say anything more eloquently than... either of you guys i would also give it a 16. uh if i'm using like a rubric where it's like you know thematically five out of five Cinematically, five out of five. And but then it's like.
Speaker: you know, personal love of the game and film and ease of watching. Six out of 10. Where it's like I. respect the hell out of this film.
Speaker: I don't. think I would ever want to watch it again. And... I you know someone said hey should I watch it and I would be like I wouldn't. but it's Cinematically amazing.
Speaker: But would I watch it or recommend it to a friend? No. So yeah. But yeah, it's like thematically, I wish I could say something as beautiful as what Brooke said. because I do feel like it has a lot of important things to say.
Speaker: about safety, love. identity. But yeah, no, wouldn't want to watch it again. And that is why Brooke is playing our bard. Thank you for listening.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I want to give the role. of ah who gets to roll for the next film. to whoever does the sort of play of the game. I think.
Speaker: Both of you get the play of the game here. with the back -to -back Nat 20s. Like, I've never seen that. I've never seen... Two people at my table. to back Nat 20s. so One of you can roll for the category.
Speaker: And then one of you can roll for what movie. on the category which So who wants... Yeah. Yeah. Who wants to do what? Brooke, what why don't you roll first and I'll roll second?
Speaker: Okay. okay is it the Is it the icon in the bottom left? Yeah, on the bottom left. And choose ah the D20. The 20 -sided die.
Speaker: Sixteen. 16. is. Queer Cinema Either... either by LGBTQ filmmakers or about.
Speaker: queer themes. So I'm pulling up. The Queer Cinema List. Kit? Roll a d4. to start and then a D100.
Speaker: Because we have 150 films on this list. So I first need to know what the D4. whether ah We're doing 0 to 100 or...
Speaker: Number two. hundred I rolled a one. OK, so that'll be that'll be zero to 100. Now roll a. D100. Get trick, get trick, get trick!
Speaker: 72. 72. Is. Love, Simon From 2018. Which I have not seen.
Speaker: the um the the rom -com. I don't know, I think I've seen that one It's super cute. i I have not seen it, though, and i that is unfortunately the condition of the film, like it is whether...
Speaker: whether I've seen it or not. I was told to watch it by. our good mutual friend, Brooke Adam McDonald, and never did. ah Well, good. I'm excited. Now I'll finally get to watch that. Great.
Speaker: then that'll be the film for next time. And at least we know that one does not have any dog. death Yay! A nice breezy... ah gay teen comedy romance.
Speaker: So. We need more happy queers. It's good. Happy queer movies. So. In 71, the film we just missed would it was... Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.
Speaker: So. um That would have been. That would have also been. Davey just rolled over in his grave. Anyway. ah but ah So that's that's what we're working with. Thanks to you both. For... being here on your initial D and &D session. Brooke, you survived your first...
Speaker: d How do you feel? I feel pretty great about it I don't think it could have gone better. You rocked it.
Speaker: Yeah, you did you did pretty great. And ah we'll keep going from that. So. Thank you, Kit. Thank you, Brooke. Thanks to you all for listening. ah We will see you.
Speaker: Next time, ah may all your popcorn be fresh and... all your rolls. be not 20. See you next time in the dungeon, folks. Go to the lobby.
Speaker: to get on Thank you.
