Episode VI - All About Eve

Transcript

Speaker: Come on, it'll be just like in the movies. We'll pretend to be someone else. You don't just lie for no reason at all, folks. You know, just all of a sudden. A big lie will spill out of your evil head there. You know a guy will come up and go, hey, you ever see that movie with Meryl Streep and the horse? And then you go.

Speaker: Yes! man va gra What the hell am I lying about over here? I stand to gain nothing by this lie. i Roll the dice and take your chances. You know something, Marge? It's not that tough being a film cricket.

Speaker: Stay a while and listen.

Speaker: Let's begin now. Hello and welcome everyone to your late night double feature, part silver screen critique, part tabletop survival. Just those speaker boxes, grab your popcorn and snacks, kill the headlights.

Speaker: Let's roll for initiative. It's... time for another episode of Dungeons and Drive -Ins. To those of you who do not read, attend the theater, or listen to uncensored podcasts, or know anything of the world in which we live, it is perhaps necessary to introduce myself.

Speaker: My name is Andy Wilson. My native habitat is that of the movie theater. in it i toil not neither do i spin I am a critic and commentator.

Speaker: and perhaps most importantly today, a dungeon master. I am essential to the theatre. as ants are to a picnic. as the boll weevil to a cotton field.

Speaker: as the kobold to a dungeon. But I am getting ahead of myself. This podcast is about Eve. All about Eve, in fact.

Speaker: I have been cursed to watch movies I've never seen before because I didn't read the terms and conditions when I used the Sketchy Movie web website. And now... I have to watch them and then run through an improvised D and &D game, but I don't have to do it alone. So welcome to my... guests starting with The Fairy Queen of g Nat 20s?

Speaker: The reason we know not to show our kids Betty Davis Disney scary movies during eclipses. the inimitable brookheim bro thank goodness that was thank goodness that was you and i was wearing it was roy No, it was me. It was me. Thank you. I'm very, very happy to be here in my old age of 47. How do you get down the stairwell?

Speaker: I know. Catching strays from this movie about our age. I said be looking in any mirrors. Oh my. Goodness. And. Hey. Got a question for you.

Speaker: Who's the private farmer researcher who's a sex machine to all the chicks? And the inspiration behind Kim Karn's version of Betty Davis' eyes. J .B. Flinders Damn right.

Speaker: That's right. Good to see you all. Thank you. for a waiting for me while I finished. Um, my work which went well into The Eve. ah ah ah ah And...

Speaker: For the first time ever on this podcast. the master of disaster, the king of sting. The Count of Monte Crisco. The man with a thousand podcasts and the youngest ever winner of the prestigious Saracen Society Award. The one and only. Roy Fillmore. Roy, welcome to Dungeons & Drive -Ins.

Speaker: Thank you. And I don't know if we're all talking about our ages. We got Brooks out of the way, but I will say Andy is even older than Brooke. And Andy, it occurs to me. that if I punched you in the head, it'd be like punching a mummy's head. oh It would turn to dust or something. like I don't think so.

Speaker: I think that's true. You'd have to skate. super yeah that's the li stupid Oh, no. It's brojit. Get out of here. ah He's so hot right now.

Speaker: oh Oh my gosh. Welcome, everyone. I'm so glad. ah We're talking about All About Eve this week, ah which is a movie that has been... a kind of white whale for me, as long as I've had a list of like,

Speaker: These are all of the... big famous movies that you've never seen. All About Eve has always been in like the top five because this movie is kind of. legendary and I am so glad I got to I got to watch it. So... um Yeah, I don't know. well Though this was my first time watching this, how about... How about y 'all? What's everybody's?

Speaker: history and first impressions of this movie. I want to say this is number three for me. I know I watched it in college in one of my film classes. And then I think I just watched it again because it's a good movie. But it's been a while.

Speaker: I mean, it's a it's a great movie. And recently I discovered, not necessarily this film, but... Betty Davis and Claude Rains did a number of movies together. We did. And they're really good.

Speaker: Wow. Um, but yeah, all about Eve. Yeah. Who would have thunk it? All about Eve is a, I love it. Great film. It's like someone told a Betty Davis to be the Betty Davis, Betty Davis that ever Betty Davidson.

Speaker: seriously and well and she took that assignment seriously so yeah it was she's great Yeah. I've seen this multiple times. The first time I saw it, it was called Sunset Boulevard and I was super confused because I was like, I think I have the wrong.

Speaker: movie this is Gloria Swanson so Yeah, when we were going through the top. AFI lists back in the day. um I was really confused because there was no close -up.

Speaker: And I realized at the end of this movie, like, hey, they didn't say the line. What the heck is going on here? And then I go ahead. granted it's crazy to think these two movies came out within months of each other. Legit.

Speaker: but They were. both nominated for the 1950s Academy Awards. It's like, this is. It's rad. and there's All of them dominated like every single category. And it's funny how similar like the casting I feel like is.

Speaker: in some of them. The best part of all about Eve is it's not the lodger. which is by far the best film. From... the last 140 years.

Speaker: So. Anyway. ah Joe the cop in the lodger has Betty Davis eyes. got is He's awesome. Very much does. The greatest, I bring it up every week, Brooke, but the greatest joy ever is getting on that podcast and seeing Andy.

Speaker: So incredibly excited to talk about. the larger, like. Guys I can't believe we haven't seen this. This is the best. um It is. It is the best movie. It was so fun. i That was a really good one. Yeah. All About Eve, amazing film. Also a great film. Well, this was my first time seeing it because, as you know, my mother only let me watch Disney movies growing up, which is why I've always been terrified of Ben Davis. So um it was my first time.

Speaker: Absolutely. phenomenal. movie. What's the Betty Davis Disney movie? Watcher in the Woods. Oh, she's Watcher in the Woods. That's right. Yes. Terrifying. Witch of the Woods. Yeah, she was also a Dory from Finding Dory, which was a...

Speaker: Super weird casting. Yeah. is You know, if you're into generous and you keep complaining, they'll make your movie. But guess what? Betty Davis does the voice now. Going to take it from you. Yeah. yeah yeah that would be so know How horrible that would have been if Betty Davis was your fish voice. I don't think I'm gonna get lost ever again. Guys.

Speaker: I don't know, just a really like overdramatic mid -Atlantic accent. like I think that would have been like, just keep swimming boys with Albert Brooks doing bad. comedy behind her. folks.

Speaker: Yes, yeah she was Lethal Wedge. Um. Yeah, i really I really enjoyed this one. It was... Like... We alluded to before recording, it was very relatable to me.

Speaker: Um, I found that very charming And it did. I kept thinking about single white female the whole time that I was watching this movie. Oh, yeah a precursor to every terrifying white.

Speaker: crazy woman. that you could imagine. So I thought this was very, very good. I also want to believe that this is exactly how the theater is, that there are just Evil conniving. people in the theater that like the movies are trashy whatever there's stuff that goes on in the movies but there's nothing like the theater isn't isn't there at least one episode per season of law and order where there's like some unceremonious death in the back of a Broadway play.

Speaker: Where like a foot falls down and they're like, oh, it's the head. Some oboist is like standing reeds of people's eye sockets. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. I'm like, it apparently is exactly as seedy as you want. Roy, because there's always a Law & Order or CSI episode.

Speaker: of some dead ballerina or actress. um that needs to be. Um, Vindicated. So that's what I was so taken by with this, though, is. as Brooke said, the single white femaleness of it all. is I'm...

Speaker: I'm watching this and I'm like. We all know that Like Eve is the bad guy, right? yeah like from the very beginning i'm like oh like i think i understand this story i think This is... This is a trope is born.

Speaker: ah This is every single movie that came after this. i I was amazed at like... I'm like, I don't know. How did people react to this like the first time they saw this in 1950?

Speaker: did they immediately get like oh this little ingenue she's so wonderful i'm like I'm not falling for it. I know who she is So what what strikes me is that, like...

Speaker: What's her last name? Eve? Eve Harrington, right? So she's a great actress. She doesn't need to do any of this nonsense. Right.

Speaker: Right, because you kind of see it as like, okay, it's her doing whatever it takes to get ahead in theater, but really all she needs is a break. And. I think she's just. An evil person that also happens to want to be an actress.

Speaker: And apparently you could just walk into anyone's house and start living there back in 1950s. Yeah, that's true. You could have gotten a break a lot different ways. Yeah, I'm here now. So ah you need an assistant because I'm here now.

Speaker: I feel like you can kind of still do that depending on the state, right, Andy? You can just squat and just... So we Airbnb our basement and it's my constant like dread that one of these days someone's going to be like, yeah, I'm not checking out. Yeah. See, there's squatters in Roy's basement. So I've looked at the law and it's like, well, the cops might come, but also there may not legally be much they can do. my

Speaker: So, yeah, I don't know. I guess you can just squat all you want. it' It'll make it way easier for your podcast when Madsen just ends up in your basement. Just never moving on. but but well it's likely to be the other way around i because I'm moving back to Utah in a couple years but don't really have like a career plan so the real career plan is to move into Madsen's basement even though he doesn't have one I think if you have a few felonies, you could be ah a legislature.

Speaker: If he builds it, Roy will come. Yeah. Oh, you I want to. I want to share ah ah a little space in ah that in that house with a Hot Pocket. Me and Hot Pocket can share a cat bed. so And then I'd still be ah able to get hired by the FBI. so that All's well that ends well. the hot Hot Pocket, by the way, my least favorite K -pop demon hunter. Okay.

Speaker: Oh man, is Hot Pockets singing you again? This is the worst. Anyway. By the way, a little bit of a tie. This movie also features Celeste Holm, who was nominated Best Supporting Actress, right? And ah she is the... I have another podcast, the Fantasy Murder Love Triangle podcast, and she was episode one.

Speaker: She is the midge. Yeah. She's wonderful. She's always the midge. she's always the midge She is by far the midget. She's amazing. And every. I was just immediately amazed by how stacked this cast was. Like I knew, I knew Marilyn Monroe. Hello. They're like, whoa. Marilyn Monroe's just kind of a like...

Speaker: passerby. I had to go look it up because I was like, yeah quite a god that's Marilyn Monroe. yeah It is. this she and A little cameo before she was anyone. Yeah, rear window Thelma Ritter. just What's up? Thelma? Oh, a Thelma Ritter. She's such a gem. I love her in everything she's in. She's wonderful.

Speaker: yeah pillow Pillow talk, one of another, one of my favorite. movies roy that no one ever gives enough credit to i love that movie she's fantastic in them andy have you seen pillow talk No, I've not yet another one of those. It's on the list. It's on the list. It is.

Speaker: Roll a 20. I'm sorry. Sat 20, motherfuckers. So good, Andy. One of the best. I was just amazed as as this started rolling. And.

Speaker: ah that voice is speaking i'm like i know that voice Where do I know that from? This is scratching my brain. And then suddenly I'm like, oh, oh, oh, I get it.

Speaker: Uh... The? It's cool. But friends. I can't sing that low note. Selma Ritter? Who are you doing? That's Selma Ritter.

Speaker: ah No. Yes. Yes, that's that's her. Thank you, Roy. She sings much deeper than she talks. George Sanders as Addison DeWitt. Who was the voice of Shere Khan the tiger in?

Speaker: Oh, wow. The Jungle Book. do And and here's here's another... fun Fun little fact. ah He is the original actor.

Speaker: to play Mr. Freeze. And Batman. Like the TV show? Like yes Adam West? Batman 66. He was ah in in season one.

Speaker: ah He plays the original Mr. Freeze. And then, interestingly enough, Right after that. Anne Baxter? also makes a an appearance on Batman 66. and then A season and a half later, she comes back as...

Speaker: Vincent Price Egghead's ah girlfriend. ah Olga, the queen of the Cossacks. And I'm like, oh, okay, I remember her. And she's like.

Speaker: Come be my second husband, Batman -ka. It's very, very funny. and She's like way over the top. There is nothing more, more disappointing than auto going to seven years of evil medical school and calling him Mr. Freeze, you know, 60 years. Yeah. What a shame.

Speaker: So of of all the actors nominated for an Academy Award from this film, only one of them won. Yeah, that's George george Sanders. He's the only one that won, which is great. well I mean, my theory on that is ah This is famously.

Speaker: I... I believe the only film in history. uh to have four. actresses nominated in both categories. And I think the. problem was they kind of ate each other's lunch. Let the vote.

Speaker: Yeah. yeah oh So it wouldn't it have been like... Just... The symmetry would have been beautiful if Anne Baxter had won. the best actress over Betty Davis. That would have been very funny.

Speaker: Especially if they're in a stairwell. Leading. Okay, before we go any further... ah I'm going to put up the spoiler warning. and do the world's most okay -iest.

Speaker: Plot summary. ah So here we go real quick. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert! Spoilers incoming. Skip if you do not want this plot spoiled.

Speaker: Our film opens at the Saracen Society Banquet. and young actress Eve Harrington. played by Ann Baxter, receives... the theater's highest award, while cynical theater critic Addison DeWitt George Sanders Playwright's wife, Karen Richards, Celeste Holm.

Speaker: and Broadway legend Margot Channing, Betty Davis, Watch in Silence. A year earlier. We flash back and Karen finds Eve lurking in a rainy alleyway outside of Margo's theater.

Speaker: moved by Eve's tragic story of losing her husband in the war. Karen brings her backstage to meet her idol and Margot's boyfriend. Director Bill Sampson, Gary Merrill.

Speaker: Margot takes pity on the girl and hires her as a live -in assistant. ignoring her maid birdie's Thelma Ritter. immediate suspicion. Eve quickly makes herself indispensable while secretly studying Margo's every move and bowing before mirrors. holding Margo's costume suspicious.

Speaker: Eve arranges a party for Bill, attended by Karen's playwright husband, Lloyd Richards, Hugh Marlowe. Producer Max Fabian, played by Gregory Radoff. who are now working on a new play.

Speaker: in which the protagonist Cora is being written for Margo. A lot of to -do is made about how Margot is now over 40. and Cora plays as in as young and in her 20s,

Speaker: So, Margot is feeling insecure about this given Eve's seemingly too perfect persona. Addison arrives alongside his new protege, Miss Caswell. Marilyn Monroe.

Speaker: And an insecure Margot grows jealous of the attention Eve receives and warns her guests. Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a... Bumpy night. and then gets very drunk, pulling down the mood of the party quite a bit.

Speaker: Behind Margot's back, Eve convinces Max to make... her Margo's understudy after doing him a favor by arranging an audition for Miss Caswell. The next day, Margo arrives at the theater.

Speaker: late per usual But she finds out from Addison that Eve did the audition and nailed it. Margo heads backstage and pretends not to know and be shocked that Eve is her understudy and that she would dare go on without her. She accrues accuses everyone of betraying her.

Speaker: It's just like that scene in the room. I'm going to ruin the party. Get out of my house. I'll kill you. I'll bring you to the floor. You'd be shrapy. You're not good. You're just a chicken. Chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip. Everybody betrayed me. I fed up with this world. Karen Lloyd and Margo head out of town for the weekend.

Speaker: And on the way back, Karen decides to play a quote -unquote prank on Margot, draining her car's gas tank so Margot misses a performance, unwittingly handing Eve her big break in front of the critics that Eve secretly invited.

Speaker: After the show, Eve fails to seduce Bill backstage. and then gives Addison a pointed interview criticizing aging stars. Eve then blacked out. blackmails Karen into persuading Lloyd to cast Eve in his new play as Cora. a part that was being written for Margot.

Speaker: And then Margot surprises everyone by happily announcing that she and Bill are getting married, and she has no interest any longer in playing Cora. Weeks later at the premiere of the new play in New Haven,

Speaker: Eve tries to lure Lloyd into leaving Karen. that Addison confronts her in a hotel room. revealing that he knows her real name is Gertrude Selinsky and her war widow past is a complete fabrication.

Speaker: Addison blackmails Eve into obedience and declare that she now belongs to him. Back at the banquet, Eve accepts the award. and then skips Mac's after -party and returns home alone.

Speaker: where she finds a teenage fan named Phoebe played by Barbara Bates who snuck into her apartment. While Eve rests in the next room, Phoebe puts on Eve's cape and bows before a three -way mirror holding the trophy. Dun -dun -dun, the cycle continues. And that's all about Eve.

Speaker: At least she calls herself Phoebe. I know I love that line. She's like, I call myself Phoebe. Well, why shouldn't I? Yep. is But so I have a question. so Karen's husband, who's called over to a...

Speaker: a very very upset Eve's apartment Are we to understand that like they had an affair then because she like. Says like, we're getting married.

Speaker: Is this all in her head? I think she's just staging it. I think she's trying to make all the pieces fall into line and she's probably going to use some form of blackmail on him. to make him leave Karen. Because he did come over to her apartment that night. I mean, we know he raced to her apartment, but like...

Speaker: We're not. told whether anything happened. She just says, we're getting married. But then George, what's what's ah George's DeWitt, right? DeWitt's like, yeah no, you're not because you're mine.

Speaker: Yeah. and So. You know what? Do it. And Eve. They're good for each other. Yeah. They deserve each other. So. Evil, evil. ah lurking over evil.

Speaker: Nice story. Any other questions? About. ah the plot for so Okay, I do have a major question about this film. Yes. Okay. There's a major plot point where she she takes Margo out of town and she like sets up the situation where the car breaks down so that ah Eve can get a shot at. playing Margo's part right And like, she kind of writes it off as, won't this be funny?

Speaker: And I just, help me understand. Okay, I can help. From a woman's point of view, let me help you understand this. Okay. Because what was she honestly hoping would happen? Because what happened was exactly what we all knew would happen. Well, but in her sweet...

Speaker: Untormented mind. What was going to happen was... Margot would have to miss a performance. Eve would step in. She'd do fine. maybe maybe not that part wasn't really what mattered what mattered was margot being put down

Speaker: about two notches so that she would stop being such a crotchety old bitch to everybody and start being a friend again and a girlfriend again and a good actress again instead of thinking that the piano wrote the concerto.

Speaker: So her whole idea was... She's getting way too ahead of herself. She's making life difficult on... Everyone. even herself. And everyone's going to turn on her if she doesn't.

Speaker: calm down step back a little bit so she thought that would just sort of give her a little kick to step back And... And. Be the sweet. semi -narcissistic Margo that everyone knew her as instead of the fully narcissistic.

Speaker: And it seems to have worked. before she misses her performance, right? Like they're sitting in the car and she's like, you know what? I've been such a pill. And I'm sorry. And, and, and so at that point I'm like, Oh, wouldn't it be nice if she still made it back for her performance? or I don't know. but so Um,

Speaker: And. And I, so I. But like it turns disastrous, right? It goes disastrously wrong. And you can tell through the whole thing that... Karen is kind of discounting Eve the whole time. Like she's not really a threat to you. Why are you acting this way? And so she didn't really take Eve's competency into.

Speaker: Consideration. when she did this move. She was solely focused on Margo and getting Margo to just come back to Earth. She thinks. Eve is like a ah wee babe that just needs her handheld, right? But Eve is the snake in the grass.

Speaker: Or the rattlesnake at the top of the mountain. yep You should have known what she was when you picked her up. She's the snake in the garden giving you the apple. Ah. i love this movie the the performances are so good like everyone is so good in this movie ah for for ah For a lot of these actresses, if this is the only thing they ever did that was noteworthy, it'd be enough. It's just, what a what a fun watch. Yeah.

Speaker: I don't have any like further questions, but I do want to talk about like.

Speaker: As. the older woman in a relationship. Like it's typical for men to date younger women. um, A few years, 10 years, I was listening to some...

Speaker: comedian talk about how his dad was dating a 20 -year -old in his 70s and how The... simple act of being intimate with him deserved her a spot in the will and that was funny or whatever but um there There is this, like...

Speaker: There's this constant churning in my mind. And Margot played it out. perfectly. Like... The way that Betty Davis... Like. perfectly articulated this This paranoia that gets in your head where you really do feel like.

Speaker: each year. The age difference between you doubles. Like. And it feels so much bigger. Like if it was 14 the next year, it's going to feel like it's 30. And like. It feels...

Speaker: You feel like such a responsibility. and Like having your 30 year old. boyfriend take you to get a hysterectomy was not on my bingo card of life and it was a really wrinkly like harrowing experience for me and humbling to this point of like Hey. I feel... ancient and And.

Speaker: Doing it within the confines of like an open polyamorous lifestyle as well. Like. Having. It takes so much.

Speaker: mental fortitude. to not let those things get away from me and let them spin out around me. And so like watching her with this. Like the first thing we see of her is her young hands, right? Like that's like.

Speaker: Yeah. That seemed like, it might have seemed like just a blip, but that moment looking at those young hands. That was... Hard for me as someone with old hands and having young hands holding my partner's hands I that I did not like that moment it made me very well it made me very like Feel in my skin everything that she could have been feeling. and

Speaker: Knowing that that paranoia wasn't just paranoia for her, but that it was real. And that. this woman was trying to step in and take over these things. and The...

Speaker: The space of like learning to trust yourself as a woman, learning to trust your feelings, learning to trust your emotions and. be able to act on them in a way that is not crazy.

Speaker: presenting is really difficult sometimes and I just I felt like This movie. is really a masterpiece in humanity when it comes to those. those feelings and that existence of space and her settling back into her own skin and into her relationship with Bill and being so secure in it to to say she didn't want the part of Cora and like really mean it Like.

Speaker: I felt like that was a triumph like that. That was the pinnacle of the movie to me. So let me ask you. Because the moment where... Margot begins to think that Eve might not be as well -intentioned.

Speaker: as she seems to be to everyone else, is when... Eve. Sets up a phone call. ah to to Bill, right? to for On his birthday? On his birthday. is birthday Yeah.

Speaker: Which? Seems like to most people would be a well intentioned thing. And like, you know, thank you for helping me not forget this person's birthday, but also. So, but but Eve... immediately starts like being suspicious of that and is it Is Eve preconditioned for, not Eve, is Margot, I'm sorry, is Margot preconditioned to be a little paranoid because she's already concerned? Or is there something in that act that Eve did?

Speaker: that should alarm any and or all of us. I think it was... The... personalized Telegram. to him.

Speaker: To discuss... His. party and the guest list like I think that was the part that threw her off. It was like, I'm gonna set up a phone call. But behind your back, I'm also going to be...

Speaker: personally. communicating with him. it'd be like Pretending to be you. Yeah, like if like if I was in a group text with Pablo and me and someone else and we were having this like conversation and then...

Speaker: The woman starts texting him individually outside of that to like. flatter him and make their own individual plans yeah fuck that shit man nope i'm out like Fuck.

Speaker: My Spidey senses are going to be up for the rest of our. Not that they couldn't have their own communication, but if it was done secretively, if it was done at this angle to like.

Speaker: get in a little deeper on her own. and So as opposed to if she had like said, Hey Margo, I know that you've got this important phone call tomorrow. Let me set it up for you. And so that maybe would have been acceptable. Yeah. Or you're really busy. Is it okay if I set up a party for him and check the guest list with him or yeah.

Speaker: Like that, that I think would fly. Absolutely would fly. Because, so, I mean, we, I see it as a suspicious behavior because I already know that Eve is bad. Like. i i i I mean, even watching it the first time, I think I knew coming in like, okay, Eve is...

Speaker: Bad. But so. Anyway, I guess I don't really have a follow up question. there Well, noma and I mean, my thought was I'm like. just the time zone difference the fact that Cheese. calling him at midnight California time in Hollywood.

Speaker: which is 3 a .m. in New York. and Eve is so perfect that she gets everything else done, but... Oops, I conveniently forgot to tell you that I set you up for a 3am phone call with your boyfriend.

Speaker: And to make it look like she had like Margo had forgotten his birthday when Eve had remembered. and personally like Margo figured it out Right. But initially it was like. why are we having this phone call and then if he were like oh it's my birthday you forgot like A little bit of a fissure, a little bit of a breakage. And I am all for...

Speaker: I mean, this isn't. applicable to everyone, obviously. But my partner has relationships with all sorts of people on his own. That's never the problem. It's when it's done in a way to separate. The two of you?

Speaker: Like. Her intentions were. Sauce. I don't know. I just... get it I think it was weird that they didn't bust out the Matchbox 20 song. Yeah. but I was thinking the same thing. Cause that was really your segue into.

Speaker: my ah My mom said that when she saw this in the theater, her thought was, why didn't they break out the Matchbox 20 song? I was going to ask if your mom had thought that. She thought that, yeah. she's very She's a very high -level thinker. Very intuitive, yeah. yeah yeah She's a clever girl. I've always thought that of her. Clever girl.

Speaker: What? Nice. All right, any... Any final thoughts before we jump into our improvised D and &D match? Um... Roy, remind me, was the top, the AFI top 100 was ranked in order.

Speaker: of their highest rated movies right because if i remember one to a hundred was correct Is this too low? In terms of the top 100 films of all time. because We're just doing the... The list of 100? Let me pull pull it up. Just because I feel like there are movies above this that I definitely... What number is it?

Speaker: I think it's 27. Those of us who don't know. Oh, I thought they might be there. It's 28. 28. Number 40. You're asking if there are movies but below it that should be higher?

Speaker: Or should it be higher? I'm asking if you got rid of Gone with the Wind, which is one of the worst movies ever made. Should All About Eve replace it? So it's fascinating because like ah the... Done. The older I... It's been a long time since I've seen Gone with the Wind. And and I understand that, like...

Speaker: Gone with the Wind is... It's not great, but also like. Cinematically, that's a gorgeous film. Mhm. And so I don't know if that earns it a place. Probably it shouldn't be as high as it is. But anyway, let's see. ah Some like it hot. I had can't stand that film. so ah You really can't. I remember that. Yeah, yeah that's like not on there on AFI's list of 100 greatest comedies of all time, it's number one. And I'm just like, are you kidding me? Yeah, I remember you hated that movie.

Speaker: Yeah, some like it hot does not belong there. I love high noon. So let's see. hi I agree. And similarly. ah the other Billy Wilder film that came out this year as well. Sunset Boulevard is 16.

Speaker: I like All About Eve more than I like Sunset Boulevard. I think so, too. And I think also the graduate I would drop below all about. you i would Yeah, I dropped the graduate below that. um I think you could make a case that it's... Maybe the searchers. The searchers. I'd drop the searchers below it.

Speaker: I... But not much lower. but Not much. Yeah. Everything else here gone to win. um Raging Bull. I know. okay Raging Bull. Hello. To be honest, I hate the movie. i i I know why people love it. I know why it's like cinematically a big deal, but I hate it. like I hate watching it. You know, i will this is crazy for me because y 'all know how much I love Frank Capra.

Speaker: I would put this above Mr. Smith goes to Washington. I'd put it below It's a Wonderful Life. but yeah above Mr. Smith. Above Mr. Smith. I love Mr. Smith too. Well, Mr. Smith is only two above it. Yeah, it's only two above it. I mean, you could make a case for it to be in the teens.

Speaker: I think instead of AFI's top 100, we should do... ARJ's top 100, and you three can just come up with that yourself. Oh my gosh. That would be really tough. The Transformers, the movie, leaps up to number 15. Demolition Man, obviously. I take it back. I regret my decisions.

Speaker: Mine would be a bunch of Disney and and Pixar. and and me I definitely agree. This this movie is probably... One of the better. Made films.

Speaker: Yeah. no it's especially great it's fine so i agree with I think it's top 20. Where is it? It's 26. I think it probably should be top 20. Yeah. I think the script especially is so cool. crisp and so perfect there's there's so many great little one -liners in here and Things that it's just like, that's not just funny. That's really witty.

Speaker: Yeah. That's good. Very, very good. And... really tight. End. It's the Ben -Hur it's the ben hu of... Uh, comedies. I think those are the two movies that are tied for the most Oscar nominations.

Speaker: Or at least were before.

Speaker: I don't know if ti Titanic uh beat it out. This is one of the most nominated. If you enjoyed this, and especially if you enjoyed Bette Davis in this film.

Speaker: I gotta recommend Deception. With Betty Davis and Claude Rains and Paul Henry. That movie was great. Such a great film, yeah. Yeah. um All right. Yeah. but Well, let's let's transition into...

Speaker: Playing some D and &D. We'll see you on the other side. Here we go.

Speaker: We find ourselves ah in the back rooms of... this dungeon. Outside the... stage doors. Uh, The light turns on. They open up.

Speaker: The four of us walk into this arena. ah It is. It is like walking into a wrestling arena or a... a boxing ring.

Speaker: But the boxing ring... in this case has been replaced. Bye. Aye. classic grand stage. of of one of those old time theaters.

Speaker: ah from the middle of the 20th century. In the middle of that stage. is a giant chessboard. and arrayed Along it.

Speaker: are the main cast. of our film. So our ah Our characters are allowed to... place themselves anywhere here on the board that they would like.

Speaker: Let's each introduce our characters really quickly. My my character is Jeff Virtues. He is a paladin warlock.

Speaker: ah used to be a paladin. and ah now got turned into a warlock because he yeah he's got a... Run through this dungeon. And ah he looks like Channing Tatum in full plate armor.

Speaker: ah and Or no plate armor if you want it that way. Well, I mean, that would be that would be the the magic Mike Jeff virtues. Yes. Which which does happen. And and he's going to set himself up.

Speaker: ah exactly opposite ah at the at the bottom of the stage. On the other side... ah Right across from him is Addison DeWitt.

Speaker: Uh, that's That's where I'm going to be. Um, Brooke, who's tell us about your character and where she's hanging out. My character is Calliope Magmar Lord.

Speaker: I have my familiar, my black dog Wilbur here with me today. And I am a tuba wielding music. Thief of sanity fairy that likes to cause mischief.

Speaker: while serving the greater good. I'm currently located at E3 on the board right in the middle, ah ready to take center if we're playing. traditional chess.

Speaker: You're ready for your close -up, Mr. DeMille. No, wait. Try a different movie. JB. Your character and where you're set up. My character is... ah named Dolly Rollins. He is a combination of the Dalai Lama and Henry Rollins.

Speaker: which is a Buddhist monk with... ah tendencies to not be that because He's alive. Whoa. Yeah. So you never know who Dolly Rollins is, although he travels quite a bit, very sneaky.

Speaker: Not Dolly Parton, that's for sure. No, that's a different. That's a different Donnie. He is ah currently next to Addison DeWitt. Whereas... he is known as on the board, the devil.

Speaker: Yes. You are ah Kathy Bates from the water boy. yeah um And I am currently nestled snugly because I believe I'm. Quite sneaky and hidden. So.

Speaker: Even the devil may not know. What it is winning? When the devil gets his due. Maybe the devil ate your baby. and And Roy, last but not least.

Speaker: Yes, I am Le Leroy, which is French for The Leroy. And ah I'm a half -elf ranger, ah recently a demon slayer, which ah you can... i You can see that that's the case because I have removed his horn from his body and I've ah glued it onto my own forehead.

Speaker: um I like to believe it has magical powers. I'm yet to discover those. um But I am played by Adrian Brody. I cannot distinguish the dead from the living ever since I ah found myself at my father's funeral where I was left behind just me and the corpse for about a month before anyone noticed I i was ah was missing.

Speaker: Aww. and and nothing bad nothing bad happens. Nothing bad happens, except I hear my dad's voice all the time, and I really, really, really can't tell if any of you guys are alive or dead.

Speaker: well Neither can we. Yeah. yeah's i am hanging I'm hanging out with Birdie ah in the corner and I immediately pegged her as the most interesting person in the room. So Birdie and I, we're just going to complain about everyone behind their backs.

Speaker: Nice. Well done. what To set the stage for everyone else not seeing this battle map. Along the left -hand side of the board, ah we have Margot.

Speaker: And Bill. ah They are squarely in the center along the left -hand side. and on the right, Karen and Lloyd. right immediately across from them.

Speaker: At the back of the board, we have Addison. and Eve. And yes, they are. They are the devils. ah They are... Adieu. the bad guys here in charge of this in case that wasn't clear from this movie They're the bad cats.

Speaker: That's right. And Eve is one. Step away. From... going to the very back of the board.

Speaker: obviously coming all the way up. uh, Row C. From where she started as a pawn. And now she makes her final move.

Speaker: into the back row. And she becomes. A queen. queen Hmm. Well played. Good for her. Uh... It is at this time.

Speaker: that ah We recognize that ah they have. some pretty ill intent. Towards us. Ooh. Margot, Bill, Birdie, Karen, Lloyd, and producer Max Fabian.

Speaker: ah Are all right now. Kind of neutral? Towards us. um But Eve and Addison are. are our obvious enemies We get one round to...

Speaker: uh, to do whatever we would like to set up. And then we're going to roll initiative and be in combat. um In any order, what would folks like to do?

Speaker: don't everyone jump in all somebody's got somebody's got to start punching people right okay Do you want to start punching people? You're you're right there. You're pretty close, JB. I can just start punching the devil.

Speaker: Okay. Yes. Okay. What are our limitations here? am i i Can I do anything that my character can do, like ah spells and weapons and stuff? Yes. Are there constraints here? ok Nope. that's It's whatever you've got in in D and &D Beyond on your character sheet.

Speaker: ah Any attacks, any items, any spells? Any abilities? Are these guys leveled to us or are they... yeah Yes. um They're more leveled towards Roy.

Speaker: A little bit ahead of the rest of us. Sorry, guys. but while Y 'all know really smart questions to ask. I'm still learning. what all this freaking my my okay here we go uh don't punch someone stronger than you is always my first Yeah.

Speaker: I'm going to go ahead and cast Bloodletter on my bow. Okay? And that means if i if I strike, then that person has ah starts every round with necrotic damage.

Speaker: Nice. ah so And I'm also going to cast Hunter's Mark, which I get as a free action i'm going to on Eve, and that means... a that i get ah i think I get a second roll on her.

Speaker: Correct. you You will get a... um ah Well, what's your hunter's market? Is it a D4 or D6? Where are you, Hunter's Mark? um So it's not a spell. It's just like an ability. I get four of them for long rest. And it says, ah let's see, Hunter's Mark.

Speaker: Okay. If you're asking like the damage, it's a D6. It's a D6. I see. You got the D6 on there. Wonderful. Okay, so i'm I'm switching out my sword for my longbow. Okay? All right. um i put I put that orange hue around Eve's character to remind us that you've got Hunter's mark on her.

Speaker: Awesome. Great. um Do you want to go ahead and take a shot with your bow? Oh, are we doing initiative first? ah Yeah, you can go ahead and take a shot. this this round Well, no, are we determining round order with initiative? We we will.

Speaker: ah after you finish out whatever action you want to do here. Sure, let's have some fun. Okay, let's see. Let's attack. We're going to attack ah my longbow. I've got a range of 150 feet. I think I'm good for that, right?

Speaker: Yep. okay that's a very small board yeah this is the this is only the board each of these is five feet so that's 35 feet across So ah all of us should have at least 30 feet of motion.

Speaker: i'm currently tick basically anyway I'm currently tickling the devil to distract him. Okay. I rolled a 25 with my longbow. Wow. I think I hit. Yeah, definitely. Hits are yes.

Speaker: Okay. Oh my god. I clicked on something that now won't go away. Okay, so now for damage. Let's see. My damage is going to be... 7 plus 8, 15?

Speaker: Okay. Does that include your hunter's mark damage? Nope. My Hunter's Mark adds an additional... One. I got so sexy. But right now that she's injured, the next time I attack her, I also get to use Colossus Slayer, which is another eight -sided die.

Speaker: Wow. Nice. Okay. I've played this before. this And why this is really cool if people know what they're doing. ive Yeah, the loss is damaging. It's fun. Okay. Sorry. It's just been me. Brooke, do you want to go or do you want JB to go?

Speaker: JB can go. I'm still trying to figure out what's next. Let's see. Am I close enough to do... Flurry Andy. ah Yes. Well, you can move you can move into his range to be able to do Flurry of Blows, yes. Yeah, let's do Flurry of Blows. Okay.

Speaker: Let him have it. I cleared it. 12. Very good. Good job. Okay. and your... um um Your Flurry of Blows should have a plus seven.

Speaker: which is 19. that that beats his armor class. So yes um roll for damage. So while he's rolling for damage, okay, sorry, I'll be quiet. ah Oh, not great. Okay. from That's all right. so I basically... poked the devil in the armpit are you are you already subtracting hit points and so i guess a question because i use i use the blood letter so she has to do a constitution saving throw of 14 or higher

Speaker: Oh, okay. well And if she fails, then she then she has been then the blood letter has done its job and she has necrotic damage. Okay. I will roll really quickly.

Speaker: She looks pretty good. For her constitution, she rolls a nine. I've got it. Dog. 20 on that. Alright, we'll just have to do it the hard way. It's fine. Sorry.

Speaker: It's all right. She's got that bunch of new energy, Roy. Yeah, I guess. yep Okay. JB, with your flurry of blows, do you get a second?

Speaker: Hello after that. What? I believe i can't remember the the rules for. Yes, I believe I do. For your hit. Yeah. Eleven's better than two. Yeah, that's much better.

Speaker: Okay. ah So... So roll roll the damage again. Or win. or that Yeah. Cause. You should be rolling a d6. 4 -year damage.

Speaker: Yep.

Speaker: Oh, I'm just going to roll seven. deep twenty s Hold on. there we go Oh, and you know what? Okay, see, you're... um That last one was only one. You should have been able to add a plus five to that one as well. So I'm going to add.

Speaker: that. in here as well. and yeah sorry So they're letting me do these weird custom roles. It's not showing my die. for Yeah, that's weird. JB, you're right next to Addison DeWitt, right?

Speaker: Yeah. i'm pundgy I'm afraid you're about to get attacked. I might. I might rageful nimbus you. you can can i am there I don't know if you know this, but I am. Very sneaky.

Speaker: Okay. So... Um... I am going to move to the center of the board. Jeff is going to move to the center of the board. And... um I am going to...

Speaker: Try to convince. um Margot. to join the fight. and I'm going to give her a rousing speech today. Uh... Margo, Eve is ah is really messing up your life. um Please come help us because she's...

Speaker: She's a bad ass. You have to do your dance, Channing. Oh, okay, okay. I do a sexy dance um while I... Hopefully I do that as well. cool um ah And it's... ah Let's see.

Speaker: Come on. Persuasion. I'm just a monk. I can't do that anymore, Brooke. I pulled a monk. Oh. I'm going to do a persuasion roll for Jeff. Oh, no. How handy.

Speaker: Ah. yeah I don't even think she'll talk to you. that ah ah No, that does not hit her. ah spell dc or that does not hit her convincing. We're going to need Brooke to do the persuasion. i think all right gentlemen We're going to need a professional.

Speaker: Okay. yeah Step down and let a woman charm the woman. Okay. Great. Huh? But I think that I've decided that instead of charm, is it my turn?

Speaker: Yes, it is. Always your turn. OK, instead of charming her, I'm going to take a page out of Addison DeWitt's book and I'm going to throw vicious mockery at her by the name of Gertrude pointing out her brewer's wife and.

Speaker: Taking her down to her knees. So that is. Very nice. What I shall do. So I throw 1d6, yeah? Okay. Is that right? ah Yes.

Speaker: Did I learn something? It was really good. So. You're attacking her with insult? Yes. Oh, okay. My wand, the leader of the band of chaos, is going to attack her with insults and leave her crying on her knees, you little witch. Aw. Damn it.

Speaker: Right. Well... Did you roll the right die for that one? Brooke, here's... I don't think I... I don't know. No, I think that's right, because vicious mockery isn and isn't all that many. Oh, okay. I thought it was 12. Here's the interesting thing.

Speaker: You notice... Who? You. You hit her kind of medium hard. But it looks like. she was so insulted by what you said that it hit her. even harder.

Speaker: Oh. You don't know exactly what that was, but yeah um she seemed to take... Oh shit. Shot through the heart and you're lame.

Speaker: and So. Um, That's great. Uh... Now we're now We are going to roll for initiative.

Speaker: if ah Rather than have you all. Roll. I'm just going to hit the auto initiative button that I have. and tell you. what you got. Okay.

Speaker: Um... I got 69. JB rocks. Okay. Um, here's Here's how it went down. LeRoy...

Speaker: You have a 19. Uh... Jeff and Dolly Rollins both have an 11. oh and a Calliope. has a seven.

Speaker: Um, Unfortunately, The person who rolled the very highest. The devil. In initiative, though. No. Uh, is All about Eve. herself. oh Who she is going to.

Speaker: She makes Stay away from Lolo Roy. He's our friend. so ah So we're going to... ah So she... ah She is going to... ah attempt to roll Dominate. person.

Speaker: Oh, I think... against Leroy and he's going to be like. Yes ma 'am. I'm cool with being dominated. It's fine. one. uh any die you'd like You need to start attacking Addison then, not her. Yeah, she reveals them poorly. ah So she's going to attempt a dominate person, and she is going to cast that against...

Speaker: Margot. Oh. um Poor Margo. seeing that I am uh, you know. Making the moves on it. Yeah, so let's see. Margo. She's like, I'll show you sexy dance.

Speaker: Margot needs to succeed. On a fifth... charisma saving throw luckily Her charisma. is really dang high. I'll keep rolling. Not today. Not today. Not. Not today. Margot is charmed. Bye. by Eve and will obey her commands on this room.

Speaker: Um, And then she's going to take a... Uh... Another move. down here And then she is going to.

Speaker: Uh, Pull out. her whip. Um, which she has. Because amazingly. For a moment here, she drops...

Speaker: her. Uh... her visage as ah as Eve Harrington. And she is now. Olga the Cossack Queen.

Speaker: From 1966 Batman. And she's going to try to whip me with her whip. And let's see. I hope she does that. Shape it up. I might be subject to all of her wiles. Is ah is Calliope going to get hit? i Because I see like just...

Speaker: She's in the way. Like, Calliope's between you and Eve. Um... Mm -hmm. No, she will not. Calliope will not will not get hit by this.

Speaker: She will... ah this this ah This only goes to... It's hard to hit a little fairy. This only hits one person. yeah Okay. So. Um, own shit. Okay, sorry, I'm - What is it?

Speaker: having trouble. doing my thing. Heh. I think I'm gonna need a second opinion. Make no more of it. Okay. So.

Speaker: I did not hear what I said. ah Andy with his big rolls. No. Well, i I definitely miss. She tries to.

Speaker: ah Eve tries to whip Jeff and Mrs. goes right over his head. Well done. that is her That is her action. That is her bonus action.

Speaker: ah She is done. ah It is now Roy's turn. And now yeah does the necrotic damage she has, does that. She has none. She has none. She did it. She had a saving throw. her constitution yeah but uh so i mean i'm just notching another arrow In the bow.

Speaker: So let's see. Let me go. Get her, Roy. Yeah, yeah. Let's get it ready. So... okay yeah she's not surviving that one yeah that is whoa Okay, so I'm going to get the longbow damage as well as Colossus Slayer and Hunter's Mark here. Great.

Speaker: So we're going to do 15. Fifty. Plus six is 21.

Speaker: Plus three, so 24 damage there. Well, she's good from far, but she's far from good. Is any of that psychic damage? no it is not no it is not Okay.

Speaker: okay Wouldn't you have known that? ah Oh! yet I just couldn't remember. No, I know it's a psychic joke. Oh, okay. Okay. I'm, I'm being dumb. I'm sorry.

Speaker: Um, By the way, ah let's see. I have some bonus actions and I think... I'm going to cast Rageful Nimbus on you. It seems like she's going after you.

Speaker: as she wants. And so casting Rageful Nimbus, what that happens is if she attacks you and she does damage, then I get to attack back. Oh nice. It casts a cloud over you that when you get attacked, then um then the cloud retaliates. Okay. I'm gonna put... Is it one round? of

Speaker: is it is it all rounds so it'd be a cumulo nimbus yeah yeah you can use direction to make range spell attack from the cloud for 60 feet okay yeah and so if if if we managed to hit with the rageful nimbus then it's 2d8 damage so i'll just That's a little bonus action. Let's go ahead and...

Speaker: we'll Okay, there we go. We've applied that. Okay. Great. Um, Next up in... The... Order. are a bunch of people who are currently neutral and they're just standing there.

Speaker: Uh... Not. doing anything. Uh...

Speaker: It is... Now. Um, It is now a... Dolly Rollins is. Turn. Oh, I forgot to mention this.

Speaker: Oh, okay. I'm sorry. It's been a while since I've actually gotten to do combat because my son who plays D and &D with me, he prefers just to do the acting out part. And so we do a lot of traveling and no attacking. but um Hunter's Mark isn't just that I get an extra attack, but also... um I get to... it It is revealed to me that creature's immunities, resistances, and vulnerabilities.

Speaker: Oh. Okay. Uh, uh, ah you She has... um And let me... See if she has any.

Speaker: ah resistances or immunities. I will tell you. that ah she is especially susceptible to psychic damage.

Speaker: Amen. she Eve is resistant to... poison Cold. and fire. Okay. Ooh, I have a fire blade. I guess I won't be using it.

Speaker: Well I'm glad you asked. Could have ended. ah Great. ah Dolly Rollins, it is your turn. You can... Keep attacking. Addison DeWitt or you can Do something else.

Speaker: So I've got. On my brass knuckles, I've got... I've got the hook. I've got a hook and then I've got a push and then I can disengage.

Speaker: Yes. So can I... Punch the devil and then... Get away over to where you are. Yes. okay so let's and yeah And that disengage will specifically...

Speaker: Keep him from getting you with an attack of opportunity. Correct. That's excellent. That's right. yeah So let's do that. um Let's see if it'll let me roll. It will not.

Speaker: Okay. Well. Here we go.

Speaker: Oh, no. That's right. Yeah, you do not hit him. But I have. yeah I have double, right? Because I have a hook and a Bush. So let's do the push. And then I will disengage.

Speaker: Oh. now My dude. that was yeah what's my diseage I think my disengage is 15. Uh... Yes. Okay.

Speaker: Doesn't all go down. Hello Karen. Yeah. ah and And by the way, you can we can occupy the same space as any.

Speaker: ah neutral or allied characters so feel free to Feel free to lay lay on carrot. Yeah, if you want to, if you want to... be behind Karen. Get in bed with Karen. There you go.

Speaker: Go for it. She's pretty loyal to Lloyd, though. Okay. It is now my turn, and I am going to... Stay out of Eve's range, and I am going to try to hit her with...

Speaker: and Eldritch Blast. Ooh. Eldritch Blast. I'd have one of those if I was level 42 like Roy. ah look at that like there's a roll That's it.

Speaker: That hits. um So... ah That is only seven damage. But it is forced damage, which she is not immune to. So.

Speaker: I will take it. Um... Great. Uh... And... I think. oh And then for my bonus action, I'm going to try to...

Speaker: Um, Uh... I'm going to try to convince. bill. ah to get in the fight. uh,

Speaker: and instead of doing a dance. ah Just be like. Bro, ah Eve is is trying to take over. Um, Train. trying to take over Margo. get in here and help her shake her out of it.

Speaker: So I'm going to do a quick... Persuasion check on. Bill. We need a longer table Oh, geez. What? ah that this is This is crazy.

Speaker: i have proficiency in persuasion i have plus seven in persuasion i am just rolling Like. It's like og water. You just like yeah have a mouthful of peanut butter or something in here.

Speaker: Just absolutely terrible. Hey, welcome hell. but oh um which if we know Which is the worst because if you punch your mummy head, it's just peanut butter. like It's just peanut butter and dust, yeah. Just peanut butter and dust, yep. Okay, so that's that's Jeff's ah turn.

Speaker: Um, Let's see. Uh... calliope it is your turn before the devil How? How far can I move? at one time.

Speaker: you can move across the entire board from where you're at. Yeah, yeah you got pretty good range. oh So I can go here. Uh huh. And smack the devil. Are any of you within 15?

Speaker: Feet of me? Nope. Just the two of them, right? Yep. Yeah, they're both 10 feet away from you, right? Cheeky bastards. Okay. So I'm going to blast them with my thunder wave. I'm going to use my tuba and I'm going to play. Weird Al Yankovic is white and nerdy at them and see if I can blast them apart.

Speaker: Does Don Osmond come out and help? Kazali. Yes. That's awesome. All right. Oh, hi Wilbur. Hi. Wilbur wanted to get in on that one. Wilbur, you got to help. Hola, Wilbur. Okay.

Speaker: Wilbur brought Donny Osmond with him. How do I do that? I go 2D8? Yes. Roll 2d8, and then I'm going to roll there. is it Is it strength or con?

Speaker: Motherfucker. Wow. We suck. it like guys sorry i said i wasn't gonna swear for you roy and i didn't make it very long Um, do they Is it a constitution saving throw or a strength saving throw? I can't remember.

Speaker: It is a... then la la la la I don't know. Constitution.

Speaker: Okay. Right? Is that what that means? God damn it. That's not bad. Okay. Addison. Saves. Mm hmm. Mmm.

Speaker: Eve fails. So Eve takes... all all of that damage, and she is pushed back. 10 feet. look Um,

Speaker: And... Two bewildering fairies for the win, Wilbur. So. That's great. Um, If I have a thing that says at will, can that be a bonus action or no?

Speaker: Uh... It's... It... I think that means you can do it without expending a spell slot, but it should still say... there should be either an A or a BA next to it.

Speaker: It's an A -okay. Yeah, so that's your full act. Shitten. Okay. Okay. Well. Remember?

Speaker: ah Do you have anything else you want to do as a bonus action? You're pretty persuasive. Oh, you you cannot you can either give someone bardic inspiration.

Speaker: or you can try to convince one of the people on the sidelines to get in the fight. can i Since I did a successful strike, can I do the... Box office poison against her?

Speaker: Oh, yes, you can. No, no, no. I'm sorry. You have to use your physical attack. to be able to use the box office poison. It's all dead boys. Bonus action.

Speaker: oh That's confusing. right Or maybe, oh. Wait, how did I write this for you? I'm sorry. Maybe not. It's in my bonus action tab. Yeah.

Speaker: But I think um I said. Um... On a successful s - Drake. Um... I think That was supposed to be a...

Speaker: A physical strike, not a... Oh, well, yeah that's Yeah. ah Let's say you can. You can use you can use box office poison against her. Thanks.

Speaker: Alright.

Speaker: Bonus, sorry. Click the little. Yeah, the 1d6. Boop boop.

Speaker: Yeah. Six damage. Okay. And so she takes six poison damage. That's pretty good. Ooh. Yeah. out. Because no one wants her on that box office. nope and he's yeah He's got a lot of problems right now.

Speaker: Yeah. Okay. Um, It is now. The devil's turn. Addison DeWitt He's coming out of his cage.

Speaker: He's going to throw a fire ray. Does sound like what the devil would do. Yeah, it's it's on... Yeah, he's gonna he's going to try and hit Dolly Rollins who hit him. Oh, but he totally misses.

Speaker: That's right, he did. uh eleven So. That failed. Pansy doll. Let's see that dummy. Yeah, and then I think that's...

Speaker: Freaking um bummy mummy head. He is going to move. Uh, why don't I see Dolly Rollins anymore? Oh, because he's behind Karen. oh Karen's on top of him.

Speaker: That's... Thank you for the clarity. Uh, Addison DeWitt, similarly to how Eve Harrington turned into... her Batman villain.

Speaker: Addison DeWitt now also. Turns into Mr. Freeze from Batman 66. and begins exuding an aura of cold. within five feet around him.

Speaker: So this does not affect you immediately, Calliope. But. Uh, Just. you are in an aura of cold. And we'll see what that does. Yeah, that sucks.

Speaker: I hate heat more, though. We're back to the top of the initiative order. LeRoy? What do you want to do? ah I think, doesn't Eve get to go before me? Didn't Eve already go? Yeah, because she attacked me. Yeah. Oh, I thought that she was the highest initiative and then it was me. Oh, oh. That's right.

Speaker: Okay. That's correct. And this time if she attacks you, then we've got that vengeful Nimbus. Okay. Cock denoted. I'm gonna roll just to see who she's gonna attack. By attack you mean champion?

Speaker: D4. One is Roy. Two is. Dolly Rollins. Three is Jeff. four is calliope. Run in, yeah. Uh. That is a one.

Speaker: she is going to Try to attack. Joe Mama. Roy Leroy don't you dare So she is going to... Move. all the way down here to get into melee range with you and use her Fiendish touch.

Speaker: Oh. Ho ho ho! I believe Roy has a weakness to that. puts her hands on you and I believe your armor class is under 21. It is. It's 17. 16. It's 16. Yeah. yeah jesus hussy You take 12.

Speaker: psychic damage. Okay, here we go. From her trying to touch you. You got the power. All right, I'm down to 62 hit points. Okay. Because you're level 47. That's like that's awesome like if all three of us combined, I think, are equal to your HP. That's okay. I leveled it out to everyone being.

Speaker: This is being balanced for all of us, so we should be all right. boy Roy just got a bunion. That's all he got. Okay. but I barely stubbed my toe. did even up Yeah, level 48, buddy. Now it is Roy's turn.

Speaker: So since she's so close, I'm assuming that I can't be using my bow because we're in melee range. you ah That would be correct. Yes. Just poker. just I mean, you could you could move and in to get...

Speaker: out of that but that would provoke an opportunity do the thing where you hook the bow over she'll get an opportunity strike at me right Yeah, let it go. And smack that's OK. You know what? I'm better with because my my weapon is a flame weapon and she seems to be resistant to that. so And I've got a pretty good um armor class, so I'll risk it. So I'm going to just move.

Speaker: over here. Okay. And she can swipe at me. Okay? then she is going to once again try to use her Her wicked touch. Yeah. She seems to have... And I'm busy.

Speaker: Let's go. She reaches in and pokes that Roy in his heart. Yeah, so that hits. um Okay. All right, here, incoming psychic damage from...

Speaker: She grabs your butt as you go by for 15. Oh, crap. For 15? Yeah. Okay, I'm down to 47. He's a hussy.

Speaker: you yeah okay You're doing okay. All right. Can you blame her? yeah well He's in love with someone else. Monumental butt test. Okay, so i'm goingnna for my bonus action, before we start, I'm going to go ahead and give... I don't know. Bloodletter, another go.

Speaker: Okay. So that means I'm going to let's see attack. Let's try with the longbow. Let's see if we hit her. I rolled a 20. Yes, that does hit her.

Speaker: Okay, now she needs to do a saving throw. Constitution of 14. Yep. Okay. There's her constitution. Doggone it. but Wow. She resisted it.

Speaker: She sure did. Okay. Well, we'll just do some attacking, and here we go. I'm going to do 15. Plus. So that's 18 plus Hunter's Mark. Let's see what we got.

Speaker: 24. okay Sounds good. Yeah. How? 24. 24 total, yeah. Ah, she is. looking.

Speaker: very beat up. She is not ready. for her. Closer. Is she ready for a second attack? Because I get two attacks per action. Oh my god. I don't think she's ready. okay yeah take take it Take your second attack.

Speaker: okay i just sorry i just noticed that my actions say two attacks per action so that's pretty good Let's give another go. This is ah okay. 29 is what I hit her with. That hits. Okay. That helped.

Speaker: All right, let's add them up. 11 plus. I'll stop you right there. You don't need to add up any more than that. so She did. Goodbye, Eve. Roy, would you like to narrate?

Speaker: What happens as you shoot these two arrows into Eve Harrington? And... how she... falls to the ground dead. Oh man, Andy, I think this is your gift. You've got the bard's tongue, so go for it. As she sexually harasses you. As you move out of her.

Speaker: thing she grabs right onto your hiney And. smack them away and with one fluid motion Pull out your bow.

Speaker: and jest. one arrow after the other notch pull notch pull and they just Fwoop! right center mass into her chest and she looks down and goes My heart.

Speaker: My heart. and she is an ex. on Janelle. You're tan sexy, gotta be a boy. Or tan sexy, pardon me. Um...

Speaker: Addison DeWitt. Put that award where your heart goes. Margot is now free from her charms. which is great. She never got a chance to attack you. Addison from across ah the... realm.

Speaker: It goes, no! Bye. My possession! property. I'm i'm evil. I believe women are possessions and they belong to me.

Speaker: uh that was just seven years of medical school oh wait that's action bonus action movement do you want to I think you might have a little more movement if you wanted to move someplace else.

Speaker: Oh, what's my total movement? You've got a right said, Fred. bonus action. 40. My movement is 40. So I moved to 5, 10, 15. Yeah.

Speaker: 20, 25, 30. I'm just going to come and hang out with Jeff. Okay. Cool. Hey Jeff, how you doing? We're hanging out in the middle of the board. it's yeah It's pretty cool here. Awesome.

Speaker: Next is going to be. Dolly Rollins you are currently hidden behind Karen well since And Lloyd. Since, uh... Roy is level 85.

Speaker: I'm just gonna come over here. Okay. Just pick skip my turn and... Start cooking some. Hot dogs. but For you guys. Okay. Because Roy is going to take out the devil. Huck some dirt clods or something. im Do I have a Dirt Claw? I don't think I have a Dirt Claw. Do you have any healing spells? Oh, let's see.

Speaker: I have... I'll die. I have some items we can yeah I'm sure you have something you could use as an improvised throwing device.

Speaker: yeah to do a small amount of damage. Well, i hand me something I can chuck at the deck. I have temporary hit points that I can use twice. Although I don't, I mean, I've still got like 40, what did I say, 47? I guess I can save that. you're I'm just going to tell you you're doing... I don't have any more actions. I'm out of actions, so it doesn't even matter. so i think we're fine yeah Let's see. I've got a spear.

Speaker: Huck that spear. Oh, you've got a spear. you can I do. throw that spear at him. Sure. Yeah. And I can chuck the spear at him. What's my spear? I've got 60 spears, apparently. Wow. Throw all 60. I think it's one at a time, but yeah. Yeah, I think I have one. Okay, I'll chuck a spear.

Speaker: All right. What do I roll? Shakespeare? like shakespeare shakesare what What is the Spears? um A simple thrown versatile sap range 20.

Speaker: Oh, okay. oh when i have six um i I think I can chuck this. Yes, you can. ah it'll If it hits... You have a plus seven to being able to throw the spear.

Speaker: So. I have a... i have a chuck I'll dodge. I got 17. That hits him. think So go ahead and you can roll 1d8 plus 5.

Speaker: soen When I dip, you dip, we dip. Bye. hit the devil with an eight spear. 8. Eat. That's great. Nice work. Eight is great. and so keeps you keeps you outside of his very naughty range of cold coldness My nipples explode with delight.

Speaker: Ciao. One of my favorite Monty Python lines ever. Yeah. The translation book. that zen translate The Hungarian Dirty Phrasebook, yeah.

Speaker: That's wonderful. my oh wait no that's that's top secret i always get those mixed up but the same hovercraft is full of eels. The hovercraft is full of eels. Yep. ah to Your turn. It is. now I'm going to start grilling hot dogs again. so Okay. It is now my turn. I'm going to keep it up with the Eldritch Blast. Nice. ah Because I don't want anywhere in that.

Speaker: Zone of cold. And I'm a warlock now, so... I'm gonna... Do Eldritch Blast. Yep. Take that, sucker. 13, I miss him. I ah throw off a big old bolt of arcane energy and it goes right over his shoulder. That sucks.

Speaker: Uh... Got blocked by the snow. Got lost. Do I have any bonus actions? You probably got dan in leftover Nimbus.

Speaker: No. Yeah, I've got leftover Nimbus, but... Um, That's only if. He attacks me. So. I don't have anything I can use. So, okay, that's my turn. ah Brooke, it is your turn.

Speaker: Okay, well, before my nipples explode with light, I didn't know that was on the table. That's definitely available. I'm going to use my silver nitrate rapier of tragic combat.

Speaker: and attack him. Okay? hopefully with finesse. Okay. I mean, finesse optional. Ooh. Well done.

Speaker: yeah Funny too, that'll do. Uh, so. with You get... ah You get eight. plus four. So that's gonna do 12. ah piercing damage to him. o That's pretty wonderful.

Speaker: Uh, He is similarly ah starting to look pretty bad. You are messing him up. but pretty you wonderful as the constant As the consequence of you hitting him.

Speaker: While in the cold, he is going to do. You're in the cold. There is 1d6 of cold damage coming your way. which is five.

Speaker: You take five cold damage. Oop. Can I run away now? ah Yes, you can, but you will provoke an attack of opportunity and he will. I'll lash out at you with his Damn it.

Speaker: Alright. All right, I'm going to say it. So then what can I... Roy's level 53 now, so you're... in The devil's in trouble. Stick it out, Brooke. We're coming down to Georgia. It's not...

Speaker: Bye. Can I do my box office poison yet? Oh, yes, you can. Do hear your box office poison on him. Absolutely. That's a great idea. because You can do that four times a day.

Speaker: so Just like Michael Bay. Three more. And. poison. The UE Bowl, as we call it, Andy. he's still looking pretty bad Margot Channing is not having any of this.

Speaker: And ah she. is going to... Use her bewildering word. targeting one creature it can see within 60 feet i thought she was released from her spell is she mad she was she was released from her spell to be where she was under Eve's control.

Speaker: But now that she's released from that, she's no longer neutral. She's going after. Addison. She's on our side. oh good Yeah. Hey. So she's been on lunch from that. She's going right here. Uh,

Speaker: So Addison needs to do. A wisdom saving throw? Margo took the monorail up. Yeah. ah He fails. He fails, and so she gets to do...

Speaker: 2D8. psychic damage on him. Seven. So. Not. bad. ah He is, again, looking...

Speaker: Pretty. be up. yeah He's not looking fly for a white guy. u he is No, he is not. He is at the wit's end. but And we're now at the top of the order again. You have been waiting all week for that. Roy, it is once again your turn.

Speaker: I'm all right betting you can finish this guy off. here yeah Let's start with my bonus action, which is Hunter's Mark that I now have fixed on him. And so what are his immunities, resistances, vulnerabilities? He does resist poison damage.

Speaker: and lightning and cold and fire. Holy smokes. Wait, he resists cold and fire? That's a lot. Wow, that's a lot. okay He's a cold, we cold devil.

Speaker: No sense in switching to switching off my bow. I'll just keep that going. So let's ah let's just get a good clean shot up here. Let's see. Longbow.

Speaker: 19. ah Yes, that hits. Okay. i only I don't get to do Kolat. No, he's damaged. yeah i get okay Yeah, I get to do all three attacks. So I got 11.

Speaker: Plus 3, that's 14.

Speaker: Plus 6, so 20. 20 damage. In my first attack. Well, okay. My level 72 attack. ah Let's see if you do this. He is down.

Speaker: to his very very last. So so ah if you if you hit him, you will kill him. Okay, I hit him Yes, you do. It doesn't matter what you roll because he only had two hit points left at this point.

Speaker: If you hit him, he will die. Oh, I'm tempted to do an unarmed strike then. Yep. Actually, no, it's too late because I already, I did my attacking roll with the longbow. So, okay. I'm aiming this one right at his marmy smirk. And he got 14. Yeah. Um,

Speaker: So here's how this goes down. ah You take aim. You cast your hunter's mark on him. the aura and the glow. You see it in your mind.

Speaker: all of his weaknesses. you understand him on a level That's... You. previously haven't. You notch one arrow.

Speaker: and it hits him. right in the throat. doing massive damage. He opens his mouth to scream. And the second arrow.

Speaker: goes right. into that mouth. Shutting it forever. And so Mr. Freeze is. Mr. Addison DeWitt, the devil himself.

Speaker: Sub -zero, now just zero. Now plain zero. Who is adding... um Audis, not me.

Speaker: characters in here. All the ladies smelled the hot dogs, so they... ah My ah hot dog's bringing all the girls to the yard. just so are you Are you able to add like extra players here? Because I'm like, where are you finding Amalia, Cass, and Lantern? I'm just telling you, they're all just really happy to see me.

Speaker: Uh -oh. so... Listen, to I'm only level three. I can't. I have to do what I can. and it So what happens is while Roy is just straight up murdering.

Speaker: movie stars and famous Theater critics. ah You're grilling hot dogs. and building a... harem of hot girls around. I've got a i've got a celebrity hot tub with James Brown. And Wilbur.

Speaker: ed wil and wilbber And Wilbur. And Wilbur. it will be The, uh, Last report, though, is that it's still too hot in the hot tub. Go and make the sweat. you Well, ah there there we go. ah That that is it. You have cleared the board. You have made the wind condition. The people in the crowd cheer. They're so happy to have seen another amazing.

Speaker: a bit of combat. from this group and we're all able to then file out. the back. stage door. into the next room.

Speaker: where we find the treasure chest and open it up. And once again, As as it does, ah Roy gains another five levels. Of course. So he's now it is. Why not?

Speaker: and ah And we find the the dice of the game. the go -to whoever gets to, uh, ah choose the next film.

Speaker: ah So that's where we're at, folks. Great job. ah Great on game of D and &D. Let's... but Let's rate the movie. where does this Where do we rate this on our patented...

Speaker: D20 nat 1 to nat 20 scale. Oh, this movie's a 20. I'm gonna go 18 again. Ooh, I like this movie. I'd say 18. Yeah. ah Yeah, that's true.

Speaker: I give it... What do you think, Andy? I give it a 19. I'm at a 19. I love writing. Yeah, it's very crisp. the The crispness of the script. um and got we We didn't even go into the Mankiewicz family.

Speaker: uh on this podcast i feel like we could talk about the mankiewicz's for a long one When they remake this with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston, it's going to be even better. Oh my god. It'll be so good. ah All right. JB and Brooke, you brought this up earlier, but... ah We always nominate.

Speaker: The midge. The special award for... ah a great character. who makes the movie the same way that Midge... makes. Vertigo.

Speaker: in Alfred Hitchcock's film. Uh, What do you... Who do you all think the midge of this film is? What do you got, Brooke?

Speaker: Well. I think it's... karen but that's kind of hard to call her the midge when she's sort of narrating the whole thing, and clearly... A main character. No, I mean, i i think that's I think that's in bounds.

Speaker: i think I think the only people where it would be hard to say they're the midge would be... Margot or Eve as kind of the two main antagonists and protagonists.

Speaker: Yeah. I might. I might go with Birdie because she has the best quotes. Yeah. but i go Because she sees the truth at the very beginning. Yeah. Everything but the bloodhound snapping at her rear end.

Speaker: Yep. Right. that's i i I go with Birdie. As I was watching this, I'm like, oh my gosh, I love Addison DeWitt. He's very obviously the midge here. And then that heel turn happens and I'm like, oh, never mind. He's the most evil one of all of these people.

Speaker: and and he told us from the beginning he was and i was not paying attention ah But yes, my midge is Birdie. I go with birdie. I'm gonna stay with Karen.

Speaker: Karen's a good choice. Karen's a great match. Play of the game. Uh... Who do y 'all think is? I mean, i I think it's probably one of whop is hundred and probably one of Roy's attacks in a row.

Speaker: Which is level 87. Bow of Storm slash Nick Ronin. Leroy. Yeah, necrotic hot dog flesh. yeah yeah sorry no don't a apologize my apologies i gotta make hot dogs i gotta know yeah i mean i I built this.

Speaker: to build an encounter that for... your level of person. um And so it's not it's not a surprise that you were the one to take him down. but no roy you took out you right Thanks for your help, guys. Yeah, you took out the devil. thanks for yeah It's like, and I helped. Brooke distracted him with the cold.

Speaker: I gave him a good fairy try. yeah yeah no brooke brooke you did you did pretty amazing and you unlocked who whips a fairy the psychic um the psychic damage on Eve. That was true. That was good.

Speaker: So great job. ah But yeah, Roy, ah that means you get to roll the dice. to determine what we're going to watch next. ah we We're entering into spooky season.

Speaker: So I am going to open. Letterboxd's Uh, Top 150 Horror Films. ah And roll a D. Adi... No, no, no. I'm sorry.

Speaker: Start with just rolling a d6. to determine whether we are ah One through three. ah We will do. Zero to 99, and then...

Speaker: Four to five will do. Uh, 100 plus. So I'm starting with a six. ah Yes. Okay. All right, we've got a three. 3.

Speaker: So. ah We are in the top 99. Go ahead and... roll. ah a D100. Do you know how to do that?

Speaker: Uh huh. Okay, cool. 63. 63 is... The 63 poster for Mother Joan of the Angels? Is that? Is that a real movie? I don't know.

Speaker: I have no idea what that is. Geez, I hope. Poster of Mother Jones? That's what this is. 1961. Mother Jones of the Angels? Is that a real movie? Poster for Mother Jones? Oh, it says, well, it's Mother Joan of the Angels. It's a Polish film.

Speaker: Ooh, let's do that. Hold on. that sounds Great. My Polish neighbor. will love this. Let's see. This one is a horror film. mother jones Mother Joan of the Angels is a Polish religious horror art film on demonic possession.

Speaker: nim Folk horror. Oh, psychological drama. I bet you haven't seen that. I definitely have not. ah I have no idea where you're going to watch this. ok I'm going to go ask Piotr if he has it and we can all borrow his copy.

Speaker: Okay, ah let's let's open up our our friends at Just Watch. Please sponsor us. ah And... search mother of mother jones there's mother jona no there's mother jones of the angels mother jone 38 bucks on Amazon.

Speaker: Yeah, because Mother Joan of the Angels. 1961. Yeah. I bet it's YouTube Yep, YouTube. Is currently not available to stream. Is it available on YouTube? It is. Matthew Peterson, artist. Thank you for posting a year ago, Mother Joan of the Angels. Wow. Okay.

Speaker: Well, I guess we're watching it on YouTube, guys. So. Um. Mother Joan of the Angels. Unless, uh... Unless something changes. that's That's what the dice have told us.

Speaker: Is it my fault that eight powerful demons have taken possession of me? That's a line I just flipped to in this movie. ah No, it's not your fault.

Speaker: Yes. there's All right. Oh, this is like all the hitch. Well, it's fascinating because this is a Polish film. And ah what's her head? Eve's character. I mean, her name sounds Polish. Yeah. No, that's... ah Yes. that That's absolutely correct.

Speaker: This movie is like, I want to make the seventh seal, but I only have high school actors and one camera. Like this looks like there's all these black and white Still shots. Yeah. things happening.

Speaker: This looks, and it's and it seems very... ah very Catholic. and Yeah. which Which is... very Polish. so Um, No, that that should be... There's way too much. fun Like...

Speaker: at Minute 59. The lady moves the... the laundry and the wood is just swinging back and forth in front of her face. And I'm like, This is... Not.

Speaker: symbolic at all like this is terrible You guys are going to have a great time with that movie. I um i really, really am and I will get to. um maybe work out.

Speaker: Uh, my, uh... my language skills because Polish sounds like Russian with mistakes. So. it's It's a lot of fun. Okay. So that's it. That's what we're watching. Roy.

Speaker: Thank you. so much for joining us. ah where Where else can we find you? before we let you go. Too many places. It's driving me insane. But I i will say the yours, mine, and theirs podcast, which Brooke is going to be joining us in two days.

Speaker: As we talk about movies about moving. And then you can also find me, you know, when... When a famous person dies, then you can find me on ah the In Memoriam podcast, which Andy has been a recent frequent guest, which has been an absolute pleasure.

Speaker: And if you're into ah watching ah episodes of The Waltons where ah they talk about menopause, then ah come join us at the Fantasy Murder Love Triangle podcast. so Yes.

Speaker: Well... ah Awesome as always. to podcast with you. ah That's it. ah Hey, everyone. um Thanks for... Thanks to all of you for joining us.

Speaker: and um May everyone's Dice rolls be nat 20s. and all your popcorn be fresh. We'll see you next time.

Speaker: Together.