Transcript
Speaker: Come on, it'll be just like in the movies. We'll pretend to be someone else. You don't just lie for no reason at all, folks. You know, just all of a sudden. A big lie will spill out of your evil head there. You know a guy will come up and go, hey, you ever see that movie with Meryl Streep and the horse? And then you go.
Speaker: Yes! man va gra What the hell am I lying about over here? I stand to gain nothing by this lie. i Roll the dice and take your chances. You know something, Marge? It's not that tough being a film cricket.
Speaker: Stay a while and listen.
Speaker: Let's begin now. Welcome everyone to your late night double feature part silver screen critique part. tabletop survival. Adjust those speaker boxes, grab your popcorn and snacks.
Speaker: Kill those headlights and let's roll for initiative. I'm your host and DM Andy. and Welcome. to dungeons and drive -ins. For the uninitiated, this all started...
Speaker: A little while back when I unfortunately didn't read the terms and conditions. on a sketchy website called Mortube. And got drawn in. 2.
Speaker: signing a warlock pact with them. And now they force me to run through a dungeon for their entertainment. and watch movies that I've never seen. Luckily, I don't have to do that alone.
Speaker: And this week. we have a returning One of my dearest and oldest friends, Brooke. Brooke, welcome back. to Dungeons & Dragons. Woo! I'm very happy to be here, especially since it was my my Nat 20 that got us here. so Yeah, this is this was your movie choice. I'm super excited.
Speaker: So... We're we're here. i and great. choice of movie. ah That movie was shuck a lot. Why did you want? to choose this movie did you have a specific thought or Just like, oh, Andy really needs to see this. Or is it just you?
Speaker: Really love this movie. Yes. To all of us. Yes, both. Yes, all of it. I think it is enchanting. I think it is a reminder. of not Following...
Speaker: the religious rhetoric that is just fucking destroying the world and It's one of the few movies that I like Johnny Depp in, and so I did want you to see that since...
Speaker: I know I'm one of the few that is. Not a huge fan of him. um And since you hadn't seen it, I was like, oh. Annie needs to see this one, and... And it's just so fucking lovely.
Speaker: It is. And I think the best thing about it is. I think there's kind of the... perfect amount of Johnny Depp in this movie. i yeah I like hadn't.
Speaker: wanted to because i'm like oh johnny depp this is i really do i really want ah especially after like we got into the Jack Sparrow era.
Speaker: And I, yeah like I'm. I know he got nominated for Academy Award. and I know this movie was nominated for Best Picture, but it just... just see this was like This was one of those movies where it was like...
Speaker: The movie still had to have a plot, even though Johnny Depp was in it. It wasn't. it will be. That was built around a character of Johnny Depp. This is a movie.
Speaker: and yeah And he just happens to be not even the main part of it, which is amazing to me. Yeah. Exactly. So like. perfectly deployed Johnny Depp. if If this were that chocolate recipe. He is the... the chili spice and flavor. That's what I was going to say.
Speaker: Oh, see where is the end. I mean the, The movie almost writes itself. So. It's... it it's kind of It's kind of wonderful that way. and Yeah, and I didn't get annoyed with him, which was nice, because I sometimes do.
Speaker: i I also sometimes really like him. Like I think. Yeah. Here's Here's the thing. I think he's a... Good actor. he might be a bad person i don't know The jury is out on that.
Speaker: ah But. Um. I don't know. but I don't feel like he is a good person. like I feel like there's no jury out on that for me. Um... do however feel like he's a good actor and And he is one of those people that I can to a certain extent.
Speaker: Separate. actor from Person. Sure. it is Kind of really good. would Especially when he, like... melts into a role and he is something so terribly different so it's like If I'm watching Fear and Loathing...
Speaker: I'm... I don't. remember that I'm watching Johnny Depp. It's just like, true it's. It's Hunter S. Thompson. like Yeah. That is like fully formed. Yeah. Those are the roles I really like him in.
Speaker: I give him... A pretty good pass. on The Willy Wonka movie. Because Willy Wonka is so... eccentric I feel like I can I can start to forget that it's Johnny Depp and there are parts of it that just like really truly make me laugh um That's...
Speaker: Get on. That's a... I don't... I don't super like him and much else. I cannot stand him. in the Alice in Wonderland movies. I think.
Speaker: those movies are interesting, especially the first one. And there's a lot going on in that, but... ah He is just like. incomprehensible to me in in those movies i'm just like what i think is a shame because i love But.
Speaker: the girl as Alice. I don't even know what her real name is because she is so Alice to me. Like in this like very. Mia. Very strange.
Speaker: Mia Wasikowska, is that? Is that her name? Yeah. Yeah, and i I think she's... I think she's fascinating and I would like to see real movies with her as Alice that aren't.
Speaker: the story of Alice fighting the ego of Johnny Depp. I liked a lot of elements of... of that movie. that Back when... When they were doing. live action remakes where they're like Let's do the weirdest version of this movie, not just like a shot for shot remake. So we got.
Speaker: Maleficent. We got Alice in Wonderland. We got Yeah. the The first Cinderella. Um, Instead of like. Moana. where we did not change anything.
Speaker: Right? why did Why did we need this? I don't know Anywho. Anyway, but back to Johnny Depp and Chocolat. I think I think the other thing that really struck me about. how great this was, was I was just watching this and I'm like, oh. i didn't know he was in this movie oh i didn't know she was in this movie I i thought this was...
Speaker: A Romance with Johnny Depp. and Juliette Binoche, and that was it. and it revolved around chocolate. And it's like, no. There is literally an entire city.
Speaker: filled with all of these amazing character actors. And. Everybody's got their own storyline. Everything is. balanced everything is.
Speaker: in its own place, and it's just... It's... It's just so smart. in a way that I really enjoyed it too.
Speaker: I really love that it has all, like, that there is an emphasis on the importance of all of the storylines. Yes. Right? like ah There are the...
Speaker: I feel like there's... A main character? Yeah. To the mom and the daughter. And then. Everyone else is just as important because...
Speaker: that's what life is. And that's what I think makes us so... fascinating is. It's not like, oh, we're going to follow just their life. Like this is. Life, it is community. It is. encompassing. It is all of the intertwining of all of these stories. and I think that's part of why I really like this one.
Speaker: Everyone gets to be. human Everyone gets to have their humanity shown, even the people who are the the villains. You know what I mean? like yeah I like that about it a lot. I think that's the thing I like the most about it.
Speaker: It's like. Yeah. Juliette Binoche definitely goes on a journey. But like... I'm I'm kind of taken with Alfred Molina in this movie. Bye.
Speaker: Yeah. He's such a great bad guy. because... You totally understand what's going on. And it's the classic, like.
Speaker: hurt people hurt other people. or and And so you can have some empathy for him. and and then therefore feel good about.
Speaker: his sort of final redemption. And... you know the the priest giving his his Easter Sunday sermon. talking about redemption.
Speaker: There's parts of Christianity I like, and there's parts that I don't like. I like the idea that We can change. and redeem ourselves, and we are not our mistakes.
Speaker: we can move past them and become better people. i So I like i like that. And if someone's going to come to town and. Do it. via chocolate that makes everyone really horny, then cool.
Speaker: That works for me. To fucking go. Yep. exactly We ready for our patented... world's shortest and most incomplete plot summary.
Speaker: Yes. Okay, here we go. Get ready for spoilers, people. Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert! Spoilers incoming. Skip if you do not want this plot spoiled.
Speaker: It is the beginning of Lent in 1959 in a charming village in France. The town gathers in their church to hear a sermon. on the virtues of denying oneself physical pleasure during the Lenten season.
Speaker: while an expert chocolatier named Vian Rocher played by Juliette Binoche and her young daughter Anouk. Victoire. Thivasal, I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly.
Speaker: ah because she's wonderful. arrive in town. ah We learned that they live a peripatetic experience, wandering from town to town. ah Kind of like a cross between a Mary Poppins and Willy Wonka going wherever the wind blows.
Speaker: Apparently, this is a family legacy as we find out Vien's father. was a famous French pharmacist who traveled to Central America to unlock the medicinal potential of Theobroma cacao.
Speaker: the chocolate tree. and learned ancient Mayan secrets that unlock people's passions. as he falls in love with a shamanistic native woman. And they have a child together who... until she leaves him.
Speaker: Uh... based on the blowing of the North wind with their infant daughter, who it is. Implied, if not outright said, is Vian. Uh, They. Uh,
Speaker: They open. a store called Chocolat Maya. immediately drawing the ire of the town's strict, morally self -righteous mayor. Count the. Paul de Renard? Alfred Molina.
Speaker: He is also carrying a heavy burden as the Countess has been gone for many years. and is apparently not coming back. though everyone is in denial and trying to keep up appearances.
Speaker: Despite Renan's attempts to organize a boycott against the chocolate shop, The end begins tomorrow. profoundly impact the repressed townsfolk. by divining their favorite confections.
Speaker: A chocolates, Brooke. They make people horny. So she helps a timid woman named Josephine Muscat? played by Lena Olin. Leave her violently abusive husband, Serge, who's played by Peter Stormare.
Speaker: giving her shelter and a job at the shop. Vienne also befriends her grumpy, diabetic landlady, Armand Varzine. Judy Dench. helping the elderly woman secretly reconnect with her estranged grandson, Luke.
Speaker: against the wishes of Armand's prudish daughter, Caroline. played by the amazing in this film, Carrie Ann Moss. Tensions in the village further escalate when a group of river dwelling travelers led by the charming Roo, Johnny Depp, docked their boats nearby.
Speaker: While Renaud campaigns to expel the outsiders, Vienne warmly welcomes them and develops a romantic connection with Rue. To celebrate Armand's 70th birthday, Vienne hosts a lavish dinner party.
Speaker: It eventually spills over into a joyful late -night festival on Rue's boats. However, tragedy strikes that night when a radicalized Serge sets fire to the riverboats vienna and rue having given into their passions, were safe from the danger. but momentarily believe that Josephine and Anouk are dead in the blaze.
Speaker: but they are quickly found safe. and although the main boat burns down, forcing ruin his people, to leave town. Shortly afterward that night, Armand peacefully passes away from her failing health.
Speaker: and her grandson Luke has to tell his mother. A devastated Vien blames herself for the chaos. and The town blames... her for ah the town matriarch's death. by chocolate. Literally.
Speaker: and having almost lost the nuke and josephine in the fire she prepares to flee the village with her daughter feeling the north wind blow her someplace else. but a devastated Anouk begins. to...
Speaker: Uh, begs to stay. and in the struggle of leaving. Fiennes' suitcase accidentally flies open. and the urn with her mother's ashes breaks on the stairs.
Speaker: Anouk apologizes, but Vianne reevaluates how much pull she is allowing her mother and her legacy to pull on her. The many friends she has helped rally around her. in the kitchen to convince her to stay.
Speaker: and put on an Easter chocolate festival. Serge reveals to Raynaud that he set the fires that almost killed people. and he banishes the abusive drunk from the town.
Speaker: Driven to the point. of madness renaud breaks into vn shop on easter eve to destroy her window display but a crumb of chocolate lands on his lips and tasting the chocolate triggers a tearful cathartic breakdown that shatters.
Speaker: his puritanical streak. The village joyously celebrates an Easter festival together. A humbled Renaud finally embraces the community. and Rue eventually returns to the village to be with Vienne.
Speaker: who decides to stop her lifelong wandering and make the town her permanent home. home. Um... Because damn, that's good chocolate. And that's good chocolate.
Speaker: he He bangs the ah squeak out of that door. Real good. Yes, he does. This movie is like both very horny and very chaste.
Speaker: End. Isn't it? That's a great line to be in. It's like not showy at all. There's hardly even any kissing. No one's like taking their shirts off.
Speaker: But yeah, like. But... People be hoarding. That's very funny. Especially the old people. That's my favorite. No.
Speaker: getting romantic with each other. The Wonderful. So, yeah, I loved this movie. Um, I've... i have very little bad to say about it Good.
Speaker: Yay. so I don't have any bad to say about it. I love it. the yeah it's also one of those ones that I watched during a time when I was just like yes just take me away take me for the ride let me have Just the joy of this. and and we will go on a ride.
Speaker: Yeah. I think I don't know what like made me resist watching this for so long. I guess maybe I kept telling myself like. There's two kinds of people in this world.
Speaker: They're Chocolat people and Moulin Rouge people. and I'm a Moulin Rouge person. And that you know what? Now? I don't think you have to choose between the two.
Speaker: Why are you an apple? Why wouldn't I? wouldn i That is such a bizarre... foreign concept to me since I love them both so much. Yeah. That I would have never... I thought those words existed anywhere.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah, I don't know why like Yeah, I thought you can you can only have one like French based. romantic I see. I see.
Speaker: dramedy sort of Hi. high concept, high class. Okay, and that since I grabbed it. Movie from like 2000, 2001. Like that that's the only thing that puts those two movies together. I get it. Okay.
Speaker: i came out with it I forgot they came out similarly timed. and and all those things. So. And i I just love Moulin Rouge so much. It's like probably in my like top 10 favorite. films of all time.
Speaker: So. If not top 10, top 20 for sure. So. I will say, though, that I probably like Chuck a lot more than Moulin Rouge. I don't know if I can say that and mean it.
Speaker: I mean... i I really like Chocolat. I'm so glad that. that that's what we chose. that It feels like a real great natural 20. You know, the thing about Moulin Rouge for me is I have it.
Speaker: In the box set. The Red. like Baz's red box set. which is... Juliet Romeo. Romeo and Juliet.
Speaker: Moulin Rouge and Strictly Ballroom. And so. In my mind, there's already like a threesome of movies that are all like.
Speaker: Mm -hmm. I just tack this on as a fourth one. Like, these are all... In my mind, an equal... Proximity of liking. to each other. So I don't know that I like any one of them more than the other, but I do love them all very much.
Speaker: Well, and It's so funny you mentioned those because I think that was the thing that. was most striking about this movie to me was just remembering that like Oh yeah.
Speaker: You know, studios used to make These. star -studded High concept. you know, romantic comedies Romantic dramedies.
Speaker: And... You know, they they weren't all on the level of shock a lot. I don't think.
Speaker: I don't think anyone thought, oh, well this is going to be the big Oscar bait movie this year. But... Ah. You know, but that's just... just what they did that was like a tent pole of what all the movie studios made.
Speaker: I think they only were making good movies. They weren't. They were making great movies. Everyone is wanting the Oscar, right? But it wasn't like... What do I, okay, what is going to sell the Oscar this year? Let's do a Martin Luther King movie. Let's do ah this. Like, it felt like they were making.
Speaker: the stories they wanted to tell in great ways. That's what it felt like. And some of that is still very present and some of that has shifted. Yeah.
Speaker: Uh, Do you remember? the other films that were nominated. for Best Picture. In. 2001. So films that came out in the year 2000.
Speaker: I do not. this was a This was a famous year. because one director was nominated Twice. for Best Director.
Speaker: Uh, Steven Soderbergh had both traffic. and Aaron Brockovich. And then the other. than the other movies that were nominated.
Speaker: Uh, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I never saw that one Oh, really? Oh, it's so good. I haven't. It's amazing. I need to watch this And then shock a lot.
Speaker: And then the winner was Gladiator. Which? is funny to me because now Thinking about those five movies. I think Gladiator is my least favorite of those five. Right? The one that won Best Picture.
Speaker: statement piece and it is not it's held up the worst i Russell Crowe's certainly held up the worst. are are nos And Julia Binoche was nominated for Best Actress.
Speaker: judy dench was nominated for best supporting actress as well she should have been thank you yeah that was I agree. And Chocolat was nominated for Best.
Speaker: Best adapted screenplay. So. 2000, a pretty stacked year for movies. This was a great film, even among those other giants. Any other final thoughts, final opinions before we roll some dice? I think if we could all just be more like this movie.
Speaker: Oh, 100 % agree. like I love that. Like even. When there was... Even when there was like disagreement between...
Speaker: mother and child or like there was still outside of Outside of the one drunken character, there's still this like level of respect that is happening. that I sound...
Speaker: really admirable. And I do wish there were more of that in the world. That's all. I had a friend several years ago who said to a group of us, but it felt like she was specifically singling me out. Some of y 'all need hedonism real bad and it shows. I'm like.
Speaker: You are not wrong, but... also like that it's it's such a foreign concept to me because i am very much like of a personal type of i mean not like nowhere near as serious as alfred molina but like Like, oh, I'm trying to live like a very like balanced centered life. And I.
Speaker: Like I don't. really engage in anything that would be considered like hedonistic it's like oh my My crazy, ah dirty... ah Diet Cokes from Sonic or whatever, you know.
Speaker: It's about as... as crazy as I get. We're getting wild up in here. yeah Oh, you know what I made this morning? I made myself. I. I took HEB's concentrated... cinnamon hazelnut cold brew and mixed it with semi -sweet iced tea and and Pumpkin spice. creamer.
Speaker: in kind of a one -to -one -to -one. Thing. to make myself like a dirty chai latte. Nice. pumpkin spice latte thing? It was both wonderful and dangerous. I filled up like a 50 ounce bottle of it thinking like.
Speaker: Oh, maybe I'll have like half of this. and they'll put the other half in the fridge for another day. I drank like... the first two sips and I'm like
Speaker: This is dangerous. I can only drink light. maybe a quarter of this and then i put it away i'm like that is too much too much caffeine for me right now. And and I was... on one this morning because of it. It's like union. you can really tell it's like oh what kind of day andy's well i'll tell you what that tells me is if you had those chocolates from this movie you'd go fucking nuts yeah i know like i i apparently need some of that in my life unfortunately no uh No, we'll just leave it at that.
Speaker: Highly recommend. I highly recommend. Well, let's make those chocolates happen. Speaking of, let's delve into our dungeon. Let's do it. And try out some chocolates. Here we go.
Speaker: Brooke, we are back in the dungeon where we where we last left. Out. We have... availed ourselves of A long rest.
Speaker: um So using our character sheets here on D and &D Beyond. Give ourselves the benefit of a long rest. um I have. Been through. ah Now, four different movies, so... Figured after four.
Speaker: D and &D Sessions, time to fully recharge all the hit points and abilities. so ah We're starting over. We're starting fresh. No exhaustion from... The Gold Rush. Starting. over completely new.
Speaker: And we head into. The Arena. for the dungeon and once again The crowd is around us and cheering as we walk in. We. We are in Madame Armand's backyard.
Speaker: at The Dinner Party on her 70th birthday. And ah we blend right in. like Even though we're we're dressed in our... ah D and &D armor and and so on.
Speaker: And you're a fairy. Oh. We're just welcomed in as though we're. Just part of the town. and and are able to sit. at the table. Oh.
Speaker: Brooke, I almost forgot to mention... One of the effects of taking a long rest is you get to use your special... her musician background,
Speaker: 2. Sing a song. of healing and rest. that gives the gives you and the other members of your party heroic inspiration.
Speaker: Do you have a special morning song that you would like to... Sing for us. scene for you, like, right now? Well, I mean, you't you don't have to sing, but you can, but just...
Speaker: Just in general, like, what would Calliope be? Sing in the morning to get everyone. to wake up. and you know.
Speaker: Have some fun. God damn you half Japanese girls. You do it to me every time. Oh, the redhead said you shred the cellllo and um jello, jello, baby. You won't talk, won't look, won't think of me. I'm the epitome of public enemy. Why you wanna go and do me like that? Come on! I'll do street it! It's with me.
Speaker: Yes I do. That's the song he came to mind. Speak to my daughter this morning. I think I... And be good for you. That's so funny. Side tangent. like you You know that JB and Kit were roommates for a while.
Speaker: Yes. Do you know this? A legend of those stories. Okay. when they used to live together. And. Someone. was late getting up on a Saturday.
Speaker: The way to wake everyone up in the house was ah they would. Turn on hash pipe. by Weezer really, really loud. to Get everyone to wake up. That was the...
Speaker: alarm for you've slept in it's 11 o 'clock we need to go out and do stuff so get up Um. Yeah. ah El Scorcho. That's amazing. So give yourself a...
Speaker: heroic inspiration. So you see ah about two thirds of the way over on your character sheet. There's a box that says heroic inspiration. Click on that white. thing in the center.
Speaker: And it'll give you... A little. a little sun that's rising in there. And now that means any. Any dice roll? that you do. Over the next day, you can re -roll.
Speaker: No consequences. of heroic inspiration. ah We have a choice. Whoa. There's this. Beautiful feast. laid out before us. There's chocolate. ah There's all sorts of various food and drinks.
Speaker: What? Would you like... to eat or drink. And I'm going to warn you that what is going to happen. is ah we are going to...
Speaker: Each eat and drink three things? And then we're going to roll to see what kind of an effect that has on us. Mostly they'll be pretty positive effects. And we'll go through what those are.
Speaker: As they happen. Hey. So what would you like to try first? First, Being a very small... 30. I want to try it. the drinking chocolate first because I feel like I can get An appropriate amount for me, better with the drinking chocolate.
Speaker: Great. Go for it. roll a roll a d20 and let's see What effect? That has on you. D20 for the roll. Boop boop boop!
Speaker: A two? A two. Whoa. A Calliope, Calliope Magmar Lord. rolls a two. Unfortunately, that... is going to have a negative effect. ah You have to take... a temporary Minus one. from one physical. and one mental.
Speaker: trait. of your choice. So you have your physical. strength, dexterity, constitution. in your mental. intelligence, wisdom. charisma. Whoa. So it's like you got hit on the head.
Speaker: Yeah, so since everyone is going to be basically drunken on chocolate, I'm going to just go down to zero on my wisdom. Fuck it. and I will also do the same on my constitution because we're already getting drunk. A reminder, Brooke, you do have... heroic inspiration.
Speaker: You can re -roll that if you want to. Yay! Okay. So my second rule. was much better. and 18. plus 2. to any skill.
Speaker: or any combo. of skills. You can... You can do plus one to two different things. or plus two to any one thing.
Speaker: Your choice. Mmm. Let's do plus. Poop. Blip, blip, blip. Blip, blip, blip, blip. Plus two to wisdom.
Speaker: May as well. Okay. that That is a good use of heroic inspiration, too. recover from them. Okay. Wonderful.
Speaker: You know what looked really good to me? was uh that i i don't know whether that was quail And they were putting a chocolate sauce over it, or whether that was...
Speaker: on the turkey. if If that's some sort of like mole sauce or... Something like that. That looked... amazing So I'm just going to go straight in. For the protein and the chocolate and Jeff Virtues. My name is Jeff. the Paladin Warlock rolls a 20. Welve.
Speaker: Yeah, you're correct. A savory roast poultry dish served with a rich secret recipe chocolate -infused savory sauce reminiscent of Mexican mole. Makes sense.
Speaker: given given her heritage. Oh, yeah, i like with i I... we totally skipped over that like how cool is that it's like She's very French.
Speaker: But she's also... like native indigenous Mexican. as well. Bye. That's just super cool. I loved it. that is the the basis of this story. Okay, I rolled a 12.
Speaker: um I get to add a plus one. to a random Stop. stat So. I'm going to roll a d6. And...
Speaker: It'll tell me which. which thing I'm adding to. A three, that is a constitution. So I get to add plus one. to my con.
Speaker: temporarily. Okay, round two. What's your second? Okay. The second dish that I'm going to go for is roux. Chocolate and cinnamon infused.
Speaker: Sweet. Potatoes. Ooh. No. Yes, yes, I'm going with the potatoes. Because I love potatoes. Potatoes. Potatoes.
Speaker: Pooh. Potatoes are of perfect food. So do I... Do I roll again? Yeah, roll another d20. and Another D20. Okay. Let's see what you got. Damn it.
Speaker: so Little fairies do not do well with food. Seven. Nothing happens. You feel mildly horny and less inhibited. but nothing changes with your stats.
Speaker: No stat changes. All right, that's okay. ah I am going to I'm just going to take one of the. Straight up chocolates. Life is too short. not to Just...
Speaker: You know, eat. eat some sort of Bon Bon or whatever that is. That is a 14?
Speaker: ah Plus one. to a chosen skill. I am going to give myself a plus one. To my charisma.
Speaker: Ah. yeah a as both a paladin and a warlock. My charisma is my spellcasting feature. And that's going to take me from a 20 to a 21.
Speaker: So. Yeah. Hell yeah. So, ah your final... Your final chocolate, madame.
Speaker: My final chocolate is going to be Pan tous, spiced chocolate mousse. Oh no. Yup, yup, yup. I want Pontus. Moose.
Speaker: So let's see I'm getting to my dice. Let's roll A high number! No. Can I re -roll again? we are no you can only reroll once with the With our heroic inspiration, I'm sorry.
Speaker: Oh, I thought you said as many times as you want. No. You only get... It's... Sorry. You get one heroic inspiration. That's okay. We're all right.
Speaker: <unk> Sorry, D &Ders. Yeah, it's all it's it's all good. this This is more for fun than anything else. um A five is unfortunately a minus one.
Speaker: from a random Stop. stat So I'm going to roll. D6 for you. Uh, f - for That is a minus one to your intelligence.
Speaker: So. Your overall. your overall stat changes. ah You have a plus two to your wisdom. And... ah your intelligence also goes down to a plus two.
Speaker: so Well, that's that's not too bad. You're okay with both of those. Um, I am also going to try. Some of the delectable chocolate mousse?
Speaker: Or wait, no, you know what? You know what I want? I want like some of that cake. That cake looked really, really good. really good Ugh. I rolled a six.
Speaker: Let's see a six is also Nothing Happens. I feel mildly horny and less inhibited. Yeah. Hey, that's not bad. That's a good thing.
Speaker: That's, hey, no, that's good. I mean, you ah better. better the like six to ten range than the um five or below. So. Um. Yeah.
Speaker: Okay. So. Uh... With that, we adjourn from dinner. where we had a very lovely time eating our food. And ah we're going to take our leave down to the riverbanks.
Speaker: ah where a party is going on. Now similar. to how there were effects from the chocolate.
Speaker: ah We are now going to enter a round where... ah We will have a series of social interactions. And you may... interact with.
Speaker: Romance. Seduce whatever you like. ah with any of the main adult characters. From Chocolat.
Speaker: And. Again, depending on... how that goes... then um That will also. potentially give you.
Speaker: some buffs, or Sum up. Some nerfs. to your skills. Uh, do you... Dee, is there anyone you have your eye on or that Calliope has her eye on?
Speaker: Um, You are welcome to. Go after anyone of any gender. or Uh, Sexuality we are. I believe the one that I really... What?
Speaker: Josephine. You bitch. i want to just are we in competition are we Are we in competition? Because I could go after... um No that's okay.
Speaker: You go after Josephine. I kind of want to seduce Renaud. It would be like the scene from... from ah Ugh. but The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Speaker: I mean, and you you care you can... You can try Unfortunately, I have set I set everyone else at like a pretty neutral.
Speaker: ah social interaction DC. except for Renaud and... um peter stormare's character so you but you can try if you would like to no you you go after josephine unless there's someone else who you would like to And, and I will.
Speaker: I will try someone. You know, what we could do. you know we're we're also accepting of like polyamory and things like yeah i think we should just all go in go after We could both go after her.
Speaker: And... You know, it's it's French. Ménage à trois. Uh. You know. Hey. Bye. When she leaves her husband, we're all going all in. Yeah, let's do it. Yeah.
Speaker: let's Let's do it. Let's fucking do it. That's what we're doing. Okay, great. Brooke, what what move would you like to make on Josephine first? Do you want to see go talk to her? Do you want to ask her to dance? Do you want to play a song for her? Do you want to... I want to walk up to her.
Speaker: and offer her. the prettiest comb to put in her hair so she can pull it slightly up. and let me just brush her cheek with my hands.
Speaker: Oh. My gosh. And compliment her beautiful eyes. Roll. A persuasion check. with advantage because that is so damn smooth so you can roll persuasion twice and take the higher one Where's that at? Persuasion is in your skills.
Speaker: in in the middle Underneath where your intelligence, wisdom, charisma are, There's a box that starts with, like, acrobatics, animal handling. Oh, okay, okay. And you can go down.
Speaker: Go down from there. Oh, I see. I see. Persuasion. Oh, okay. plus five. So I click that. 15. The first one's a dirty 20. Roll it again to see if...
Speaker: see if See if it's even better. It's the same. Uh. Uh. I'm just smooth all around. Uh. Hey. dnd beyond doesn't like you it's like you you roll twice and you get the same same number It's like almost not. It's like like almost not like having advantage at all.
Speaker: ah But... but we'll We'll take it. That's ah yeah that's pretty good. A kiss. Non -French. ah you can give yourself plus one to any chosen skill. Wait. 15 or a dirty 20.
Speaker: ah Dirty 20. Oh wait, oh wait! You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I. OK, I didn't ah I didn't. Oh, my gosh. I forgot to add.
Speaker: Um, extra things to the seduction mechanics. Um, I mean, 2020 is just like a... A home run. Um...
Speaker: ah So... No, i i'm going to I'm going to keep that yes as. ah you get a a kiss non -French out of her.
Speaker: which is not. which is not bad for your very first move. so yeah I think that's all I would do anyways. because Yeah. I'm going to add that first one.
Speaker: To my I get added to anything. Is that right? Yes. Any chosen skill. We're going to. Bump up the charisma. May as well. uh,
Speaker: Well, that that should help. ah That'll compound. That takes you to 20 for your charisma. So on your next. Roll with any charisma check.
Speaker: ah Be sure to add. Plus 5 rather than plus 1. anything that's at plus four or i'll help you multiply anything that Um. meets it that you've got with with any of those skills.
Speaker: So. um You'll be. bumping up a lot of those Okay. ah I am similarly. going to try to Flirt with Josephine.
Speaker: ah And I am going to... I am just going to give her. A very sweet and genteel. Kiss on her wrist.
Speaker: and see how she responds to that. Uh... I am going to do. Hey. Also a persuasion roll. Oh no! oh i only rolled a three but that takes me to a ten Because I am still a very...
Speaker: Even my failures are at least... a little bit charming Um, But there's no spark. Nothing happened. I feel slightly sad and frustrated.
Speaker: You just need to work at it because she's still just a little shy of men, you know? she's just out of that abuse so know that's workinging we're working together on this we're working on it Okay, so you go.
Speaker: Okay. So now. If you have a. Now remember, you are a bard. You can bring any of your other bardic skills in here if you want to. Go now i play a song with Johnny Depp. You can.
Speaker: Yes. yeah I'm going to go with... Roo. And we're going to play a song to Josephine together. Okay. And I'm going to stand in front of everyone, not embarrassingly, but just slightly.
Speaker: making eyes at her so she knows that this ballad is for her. Okay. ah do you Do you have a song you want to play? or um,
Speaker: Do you have a... I would play the song. Good morning, sun. Bye. Binfold. oh yeah good morning sir I'm glad you came. Hmm.
Speaker: Mm hmm. um That song is... Oh. gez And straight out of... the year 2000. Straight out of the year 2000. Yeah. Rock in the suburbs album. That's such a good song. That song makes me cry.
Speaker: I love that song. and we're Still. fighting it Okay. Anyway. du Fighting it! Today. Anyway. ah Roll a performance.
Speaker: ah And let's see what that gives you. Son of a bitch. Um... You know what? Rue messes up the chords there a little bit. And even though you are pretty on point.
Speaker: That. does not work super well. But luckily... That still puts you in the. like no spark thing So you didn't mess up anything.
Speaker: you're doing Okay. I'm gonna come up and I'm gonna join you. And I'm also going to do a performance with you. And. We're going to start with The French.
Speaker: Are glad to die for love. They delight in fighting duels. And then I'll let you sing the... Uh, The next part in the like.
Speaker: A kiss on the hand, maybe. Quite continental. The diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Speaker: Anyway. since since I invoked. Moulin Rouge earlier. i've got that on my mind. Okay, so I'm going to do a performance check. Lover. Okay. I'm gonna roll the nine.
Speaker: and so that goes up to a fort oh no wait wait wait wait wait 14 is good. 14 is good and that actually bumps up to a 15. because i I'm under the... plus one.
Speaker: A charisma. that. I gave myself earlier. ah So. A 15. Um, A 15 is a... a kiss non -french plus one to a chosen skill I am going to...
Speaker: ah Keep dumping that into charisma. So now my charisma is at 22, a plus six. So. Add to your place of strength. I say.
Speaker: So. Okay. this is This is our last round. Let's see. what we can do with Dear Josephine. Okay. Well, for my last round, now that I've been willing to make a fool of myself to show her my adoration, I'm going to go up and ask her for a very sultry... dance together. Okay.
Speaker: you can either Focus. several different skills here. you can either focus on the specific rhythmic movement,
Speaker: In which case, I'll let you do this with acrobatics. or I'll let you use. Performance? Or...
Speaker: persuasion. ah depending on which you'd like to do. Or if if you really want to, I'd let you use. sleight of hand if you want to Get kind of handsy with her.
Speaker: I don't think. Don't do that because your acrobatics is better than your sleight of hand. We're not there yet. So I'm not going to I'm going to go with performance again. Because I want to show her.
Speaker: what a real woman does. Fuck yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. Um. Um, brooke that's gentlemen i am a great wing woman just in case you all need one Yeah, so that's a 25.
Speaker: You fucking hit that out of the park. ah She is. Putty in your arms. I am going to go in and see if I can.
Speaker: uh seal the deal as you are dancing with her i'm going to Come up. From the back, I'm going to... Push her hair back from over her ear.
Speaker: and um Just sort of. breathe on her neck And... Uh... put my hands around her waist and danced.
Speaker: ah you know, in a, in a true. Magic Mike. a Channing Tatum way. That is a pro move. Sir, that is a real move. Yeah, one that Channing Tatum can pull off, but I don't. know that Andy Wilson can.
Speaker: Andy Wilson can. All right. ah So that, that is... a 20. Dirty 20 there for me. Well, technically a dirty 22. um Anyway, um...
Speaker: So... We fade the black and um oh we end up on a boat somewhere with Josephine and things go rather well you can um Insert any details you would like, Brooke.
Speaker: Uh. Well. I know how I spent my weekend, so I'm going to say it goes very well. Uh, That. ah there are There are fireworks.
Speaker: Is this true love? Who knows? But it will be. Yeah. Um, So ah with that, it is it may or may not be true love that is yet to be determined. But it is a beautiful, glorious night of recognizing her, witnessing her, leaving her feeling. Fully experienced and explored between two people who... ah
Speaker: door and dote on her, leaving her feeling more empowered than she has ever felt in her life. That's how the night goes. um And after that tryst...
Speaker: Um... ah We. The two of us dress. And a nuke comes in and... Um, asks if if Josephine can Uh.
Speaker: Find her a place to sleep for the night. And they go off. someplace together. um and And we are back on the shore. ah enjoying some chocolates.
Speaker: Oh, and... ah By the way, ah those... that fireworks, we both get plus three to any skill or any combo of skills.
Speaker: So sweet. Bread. three points around or put three in any one category. And be strategic. This is the last thing before we enter into the...
Speaker: Emergency. ah combat rounds. Oh shit. Oh, son of a bitch. I didn't mean to do that, but I God damn it. You rolled a nat 20, right? When you didn't need to.
Speaker: Oh well. e Okay, well. Okay. That answers my question though. Um, all right. I'm going to, so I'm currently at a plus one on wisdom, right?
Speaker: No, I think you're back at. plus two on wisdom. I'm plus two. Okay. So I'm going to, and I'm. Plus five on charisma. Right? Because I added one there. Mm hmm.
Speaker: I'm gonna... I'm gonna...
Speaker: Do a plus one to dexterity? Okay. And a plus one to strength. Okay. No, a plus two to strength. So instead of it being a negative.
Speaker: okay yeah Great. So... Um, So your dexterity is now a plus four. and your strength this is zero. that is going to Help us.
Speaker: as we enter this next round. So I'll be zero. Four. 3. Three. two
Speaker: Five. Okay. yeah Okay. Uh... As we are standing on the shore. Uh, And oh, and by the way, we we take. this moment to ah Summon our pet familiars.
Speaker: you know, cause Who doesn't want to? Like. you know, pet their dog. when we're out here in a moment like this. Who is who is Calliope's? familiar. So my familiar is...
Speaker: ah representation of my Giant, 120 pound. Portuguese water dog named Wilbur. That's my familiar. ah And.
Speaker: Jeff's Familiar is a representation. of the Tiny little terrier dog angles. that Bert Gurney has in Hail Caesar, who, if you remember from...
Speaker: Yeah. he's got Channing Tatum's got a tiny little dog. it's very funny named angles because he's a communist. Anyway. so So you have... So you're the big man with the small dog and I'm the small fairy with the big dog. Yep.
Speaker: That's exactly right. Um, Perfect. So. ah There we go. As we are sort of reveling and continuing ah with.
Speaker: you know, chocolate and wine and and various things, enjoying our evening. we notice... From the boats. There is... Uh, smoke.
Speaker: And I am going to roll. for which one of the boats this is coming from. Folks, we are using...
Speaker: A map. on D and &D Beyond where I have eight. Boats. They're labeled so that we can see them. essentially, uh, what we have.
Speaker: is we have four boats along the near shore to us. one that is kind of in the middle of the river, And three. that are on the far shore.
Speaker: The three that are on the far shore from left to right go one, two, three. ah Then the ones on the near shore are four, five, six, seven. and the one in the middle of the rivers eight So we see fire break out.
Speaker: On. the far shore, on on boat number one. Now. We don't know. Where Josephine? and the nuke are.
Speaker: ah We just know that they went out to one of the boats to go to sleep. Our our mission, our wind condition. is to find them and rescue them.
Speaker: There are also two other groups of people. on some of these boats. We must save Josephine and Anouk. We should save the other two people. But if they are...
Speaker: But if they die or are injured, we're We can technically win. We'll just have. uh, not as great of a victory. There are also some other random things that can happen in this encounter.
Speaker: that we will see. if we trigger them but that is why we have been buffing our stats um we need to affect a rescue And how we're going to do this is we are now going to...
Speaker: ah be in initiative order. and we are going to take turns. where we... have to use our movement. Uh, two. to get to wherever we need to go.
Speaker: ah We can use our familiars. Our familiars will obey us and can. go to different places and search. They cannot do anything else. Other than that.
Speaker: But then we need to get to the boats. and either help villagers put out fires. if we want to go into them. ah go into them and rescue people.
Speaker: ah which may cause danger. we just But just one vote is on fire so far. but it will spread. the longer it takes us. to get there Now. If we want to apply any of our skills.
Speaker: to try to figure out which... boats have people in them. We can apply those skills, but that will take one turn. So. It's a balancing act.
Speaker: This is timed. Do we want to try to... i don't know use use perception investigation to figure out where people are Or do we just want to start? going and searching boats.
Speaker: I think we, well... Motherfucker. Okay, wait. So... Wisdom I have. Plus two. I think... I think...
Speaker: Yeah, I think we should do perception first. Yeah, you boosted your wisdom. That'll... That'll help you. in your in your perception checks. Perception will be helpful because we should be able to hear. run then then go ahead and do a perception.
Speaker: Check. and ah here's Here's how it'll go. is zero to five, we learn nothing. Five to 10, we learned something vague. Uh,
Speaker: 11 to 15. ah We learned something. Definite. but that may not be completely helpful. 16 or above, we definitely learned something. 20 or above, we locate a person. Absolutely. I can't believe I wasted that nat 20.
Speaker: Well... Uh. It's okay. Yun. Maybe. ah D and &D Beyond will let you. All right. We got 18. 18. 18. So you can definitively find out something about One of the vote. Boats with.
Speaker: that perception. ah which boat do you want to... Try to perceive. to see if ah you think that there are people there or not. I want to find out on boat number one first.
Speaker: Okay. Um, Now. I do. I am trying to be fair. I do not know which boats. the people are in? And so that is also going to be determined by dice roll.
Speaker: So I'm going to roll. Uh... a d ten and, um or excuse me, a D8. And if I roll a one.
Speaker: then... um There are people on it. then there are definitely people on that boat. Um, And. ah if But if we get either a 10...
Speaker: or a two. Um, then then you get like kind of a 50 -50 shot of whether there's people there or not. So. Um, Okay.
Speaker: Achoo! So. Um, You think? that there are likely people not on boat one, but either two or eight.
Speaker: Okay. So that's my role then, yeah? yes Right. It's up to you, sir. okay I am better at perception Then investigation. Why do I have advantage on perception?
Speaker: Um, Because she's so smart. Oh, it's because I have a sentinel shield. I totally forgot. I have a sentinel shield. equipped. ah So I get.
Speaker: Advantage on perception checks. So that first one's a 14. The second one. is an Nice. Uh... And 18. Yeah, there's there's definitely someone on that boat um I'm going to search.
Speaker: or I'm going to try to perceive both. Two. um Because if... Yep. Because the fire is there, and if... It gets close to that, then we're screwed, right?
Speaker: Oh and I rolled. and I rolled a one. which is the one next to it. So. What we're going to call that is we know that there are people on. boat number one. okay So. Um.
Speaker: between me getting between both of us getting a two. So there's definitely people on boat one, but we don't know. So do we want to...
Speaker: Um, trading. get there or do you want i want to try to get there i want to try to send wilbur in To search. ok boat Okay. Okay.
Speaker: Great. Um, Do you want to give him any other? specific ah Instructions? um Like... What can you tell your familiar to do?
Speaker: Like, he can he can bark. back like basic things but if you're like Bark once for this, bark twice for this, or... you know. Yeah, if it is... So we're looking for...
Speaker: A nook. and rue. Right. Uh... We're looking for a Nook and Josephine. Okay. That's correct. so I want... And they're going to be together regardless, right?
Speaker: ah Yes. So if he finds... Anyone other than... Anouk and Josephine. He is only going to bark once. If he sees and look at Josephine, he's going to lose his. ever love in mind so let's send him out it's gonna take him Oh he has a swimming speed of 60.
Speaker: So he can get right there, right? Let's see. How far away are we? You're right here. So let's go 1. One, two, three.
Speaker: for Five, six. Seven. Ayy. Nine. 10 is 50, 11, 55, 60. He's on the boat.
Speaker: um So next turn, he'll be able to search. So he's... He's on a burning boat. Um. But... the fire is small ah he should be okay for now. day Um,
Speaker: That's That's good. Where do you want to go? Where do I want to go? I want to... Can I go to boat eight? ah You can start heading to boat eight for sure. Because that's the other boat that we thought they might be on, right?
Speaker: What's closer than boat to... Aye. Yes. ah But you have to you're going to have to start from over here. Unfortunately. Okay, why? Oh, OK, I'll let you start. I'll let you start a little bit. OK, so what do I do to get there? So just do this like... like hopscotch, like one.
Speaker: Two. three. 4. Five. 6 -0. you made it hey you're good so because you have you have a 30 foot flying speed that's exactly 30 feet okay Okay, so you've made it on your turn to vote.
Speaker: eight in the middle of the river. I have to wait to search as well. ah Yes. You'll have to wait for your next turn. Oh wait, you know what? No, I take that back because you have both an action. And a bonus action. and your movement. You just use your movement. you can go ahead and search.
Speaker: on on your turn. You go ahead and search. And how do I search? ah Do either an investigation or a perception check. Investigation and perception. We're going with perception.
Speaker: 18. 18. ah you will definitively find out whether there are people. on this boat or not. Let's see if 8. comes up.
Speaker: Four. There are not people. On. Okay. Boat 8 is luckily... and Perfect. So. That's great. We can let it burn if it...
Speaker: So there's... There's no people on boat eight. And I am going to search. boat. Sex? And I am going to... Also do a perception.
Speaker: Nice. So 14. Oh, but I have advantage. 14, 16. I can also definitively find out whether there are people. on this boat. wait Here we go.
Speaker: Five. As a five. Nope. There are some people. Okay. Um, But hey, that rules one out. We know that... Six and eight are out. It is the fire's turn.
Speaker: and um we're going to find out if the... if the fires Spread. Spread. That feels good. Oh, three. Okay, no.
Speaker: Yay! the fires Stay where they are. Only boat one is on fire. ah There are not. any other fires. That's wonderful. hey ah Let's keep it that way. Okay. Um, We're back to the top.
Speaker: ah Let's... let's have you roll. ah a, uh, Perception check. For Uber? Um, wilbur Come on, Wilbur.
Speaker: Well, oh. 11. He can't. He can only barely tell through the smoke? whether there's people there or not. Um...
Speaker: Roll a d20 To see if he can perceive if there are. ah whether there's, in fact, people on the boat.
Speaker: ah So roll a second one because that's that's technically. Aye. Win, but... Oh, that's a one. So. I get, oh, a one. That means no, there's not people. Yay.
Speaker: So. Um. Great. Okay. That. that's yeah ah the one of the few times where a one is actually going to be a good. a good thing overall Okay.
Speaker: We can even let that boat burn. That's fine. uh, Does he want to take his movement to go to... to boat two or three. to Vote too. So you can jump over there, no problem.
Speaker: Oh. Where would you like to go, Kalani? I would like to go to Bo - Three. Okay. Wait, that's not me. You go across the river. i yeah One, can you two.
Speaker: Three. Four. Five, six. Yeah, if you can make it in six, then... You got it. Okay. Great. It's here on both. So now... Wonderful. I want to. What do I want to do? Investigate or perception? or Is that what I do?
Speaker: ah Yeah, either one. Investigation run. this morning. Nice. ah Yes. So you can definitively tell whether... ah There are with a 20.
Speaker: you definitely know whether there are people on this boat or not. So. um No. unfortunately. But... We are eliminating boats. very quickly. And...
Speaker: That is, in fact. I mean, that's as good as... Finally at this point. So. We only have four boats left, and we know that three of them have people on them.
Speaker: ah We still haven't found them. But. Um. But yeah. But we're okay. Four. Okay. um so Should I...
Speaker: See? Okay, I am going to - Go to vote. Five. And then I am going to send... Um,
Speaker: My. My little angles dog. He can make it right off the dock here. Nice. On to boat seven. So we're both going to do a search.
Speaker: And. ah by mathematical Just by basis of math, one of us will have found people. i rolled a three and a ten which the highest one is then A 12. Um,
Speaker: So I can. Barely tell. Weather. There are people on this boat or not. So now we have... Okay. So we have eliminated.
Speaker: Number five. Sweet! Okay. ah So, in fact, the um the three boats that we have left. to do are in fact the ones where there are people.
Speaker: So we know that the people are on boats. four, two, and seven. Okay. And ah one of them will have Josephine and Anouk in it.
Speaker: Um, So I'm going to have... angles. Search. Boat 7. and see if he can tell who's there. He's got the same instructions.
Speaker: ah bark a bunch if it is indeed them. but he's just going to. do Just a straight... Perception. That is a 12. ah So that is a yes or no.
Speaker: with the four
Speaker: Um, That is the third boat. ah Yes. ah He has found Josephine and... A nuke. They are on. but Okay.
Speaker: So. Um, That's good to know. And then there are other people who need to be rescued on. boats. two and four. Um, So we go.
Speaker: Back. To the top of the... The fire? Hang on. i need to take the fire's turn Yeah. Oh. A ten. Well, that's better than...
Speaker: Um, that's better than it could have been. So unfortunately. ah The fire is going to. Bread. uh to um toote to to Bye.
Speaker: It is not going to. Go that much bigger. but the fire on boat one is going to get. a little bit bigger. Okay.
Speaker: So. It would be dangerous if there were aboard if there were people on there now. Um. But... the The small size fire is not.
Speaker: a danger. ah to People of the Boat. Okay. It is Calliope's turn. You can make it to boat two real easy. You know there's going to be people here. you're going to have to pull. people.
Speaker: out How many? How many people are we looking at? I don't know That's just a... a couple of people. Okay. There's two. They're adults. Okay.
Speaker: You don't need to like physically move them. They're not like sick from smoke inhalation or anything you need to. Rouse them from sleep and you need to help navigate them out. So I think... I feel like what I want to do.
Speaker: is I want to use... My thunder wave. to wake them and blow them onto the shore right behind them. Can I do that? Oh. I mean, you can, but you will also hurt them if you do. Oh, I don't want to. um Well, I mean, maybe.
Speaker: I mean, OK, never mind. Maybe better than being on the boat. If you... What about... I mean, they'll take some damage, but they won't be... You can just do a tuba blast.
Speaker: To wake them. Mm hmm. And then... Use some sort of charisma -based skill i use my to like um help them get out. What? What?
Speaker: Charisma. Oh, so just use charisma? ah Or any charisma -based skill, like... ah persuasion okay i see i see i see performance or or just a straight charisma so okay that's what i want to do i want to I want to use my my tuba.
Speaker: Okay. to wake them. All suddenly. in one booming blast. And then when they are awake, even though they'll be slightly scared.
Speaker: I would like to... use my my power of persuasion. Two. To lead them. quickly and swiftly off of the boat. Okay, great.
Speaker: So roll my persuasion. Oh. There's your nat 20. With a 25. There we go. You not only play a beautiful tuba blast.
Speaker: It's a It's a beautiful piece of music that Um... mirrors your performance of El Scorcho from... from earlier to wake people up.
Speaker: So... They wake up and. They're like, oh, fire. And they immediately get out. ah They are completely unharmed. And in fact, with a nat 20, That.
Speaker: blows the fire out. Yay! You are. You blew that tuba. so hard and so well. Okay. I'm going to. pied Piper them right off that boat with my Tuva. Yeah.
Speaker: Boat 2 is clear. and one group. of civilians are safe. Fantastic. Okay, I should have written this town. Okay, our... Are Anouk and Josephine on seven or four? What did we? Seven. They had seven. Okay.
Speaker: I couldn't remember if if my... ah familiar got that or not okay do i have enough swimming to get there. That's one, two, three.
Speaker: or Five. Six. Okay. No. Angles is going to... Bark bark bark. And... Try to wake them up.
Speaker: and and see if they'll wake up. Let's just do like a... Straight. d6 roll Yes or no? Uh, no He does not wake them up. ah They start. to...
Speaker: They start to rouse, but no. Uh... Josephine is all. Um, Danced out. She is sleeping pretty soundly. She's not. wanting to we did too good a job we did too good a job Anyway.
Speaker: That's me. It is now. a fire Fire's turn. There's a possibility of other. Bad stuff happens. this round.
Speaker: That is an 18. That is. Very bad. The fire spreads. boat To.
Speaker: is now back on fire. And... and And boat won. Burns, and... Six. But it's empty. So it's okay. And also... on the shore.
Speaker: We notice. Out of. seemingly nowhere. The Count. and Serge. And they're waiting on the shores. But they they strangely don't look like the Count and Serge.
Speaker: The count. has Four. mechanical arms bolted onto his back. And he's looking like Dr. Octopus from Spider -Man. And Serge is looking like... his character from The Big Lebowski, Carl Hungus. the German nihilist who ah yells at us and says,
Speaker: Hey Virtues! Come here and I'll cut off your chanson! we're going to have to fight them. But first, we got to save these people. It is your turn. Where do you want to send Wilbur? Where do you want to go?
Speaker: I want to try to send Wilbur to Seven, obviously. Okay. Or do I want him to... To stop the others. Yeah. Okay. So he can go how many? He can he can make it. He's got enough swimming.
Speaker: Yeah, because he's got 60 feet of swimming, so he's great. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Okay. yeah You can only move 40. so you can make it halfway across the river. Bye.
Speaker: That... Peace. I only go how many? Four? 30 feet. And each one is five feet, so you can go six. Oh, okay. Let's see. One. 2.
Speaker: Three. Bored. but Sick. Thanks. Oh, so close! Okay. Now luckily because you are flying you are not in the river and you do not have to do any sort of like swimming constitution. Chuck. or anything like that Okay. You do not have to fight the river. You're not swimming. you're You're flying with your beautiful fairy wings. Okay. You're good.
Speaker: Can... Um... Is that my action? Can I do an action from the sky? You can do an action from here for sure. Can I... um Now can I do my thunder wave and try to wake up the boat?
Speaker: You can... But I don't want to. Again, the you would if successful. You would topple the boat over? Oh, no. potentially being a worse outcome than uh okay yeah ah You can just do a tuba blast to try to wake them up, though, and see if.
Speaker: ah you can get them awake. Okay, let's do that. Let's call that a performance check. and Performance check. This will be pretty easy. Your tube is pretty loud, 11 or above.
Speaker: Woo -hoo! 21. Again. You're not only with a 21. you not only play it really loud, you play it. very nicely. And. Via.
Speaker: um Wilbur's perception you perceive through your familiar. ah that Anouk and Josephine are awake. um and they can now Listen to... So I am going to... get over there.
Speaker: I'm going to tell them to get off the boat and I am going to. In fact, Scoop both of them up. and move them. So I'm going to do a...
Speaker: Strength. and athletics. Check on that. Hmm, that's a seven. I'm partially successful. I am able to scoop them up and...
Speaker: move them they're not in danger but they're not quite. Off the boat. And now I have my... My arms full. I'm going to...
Speaker: Also, dismiss angles. for now he's not gonna He's not going to be able to help in this fight. So. And I'll let let him go.
Speaker: get ready as we as we have to. face these bad guys. Okay. ah Your turn. And then the bad guys are going to go. Okay, my turn. Yum.
Speaker: Can I assign Wilbur to carry... One of them to the shore? Since he's such a big boy? Yeah, yeah, you can do that. Yeah, he's big enough to take a nuke, sure.
Speaker: Okay. What do I roll for that? I'm just gonna let that happen. You don't need to roll anything. He's fine. Okay, perfect. So. He's going to come. He's going to come by me. I'm not.
Speaker: Really moving. with a new key. Thumbs. comes by here. Anouk. jumps on his back and because he is such a big dog ah He jumps.
Speaker: onto the dock and on the shore. And then he's going to skedaddle off to. The right here, away from... Crazy. Carl Hungus Serge, who...
Speaker: obviously has been. drinking, and set these fires. yeah So now do I want to move to the shore to to fight the bad guys? Yeah, or you can stay ah at range. You have all sorts of ranged attacks too.
Speaker: So. Okay. Um, you know yeah anything you want to Anything you want to do. I want to do Nathar's Mischief. And I want to...
Speaker: Like... use my Leader. of the band of Chaos Wand to... intoxicate these two bad guys with the lovely scent of chocolate they haven't even eaten to see if it can throw them so off course that they join the festivities and stop attacking.
Speaker: Ooh. Okay. Now, you can you can do that, but you do have to roll. You roll a d4 on the...
Speaker: mischievous surge table um Okay. I'm going to let you, though, nor it says it says that a one is that they smell apple pie.
Speaker: And then they have to do a wisdom saving throw or become charmed by you. So ah you can do that. ah But i'll let you I'll let you do that.
Speaker: um So you have a one in four chance of being able to. Stop them with the smell of chocolate. um but it might be one of the other four things that happen. or the other three things.
Speaker: Okay, so I can roll the d4. Oh! You did roll a one. The smell of chocolate fills the air around. Peter Stormare as Carl Hungus as Serge.
Speaker: And he has to make a wisdom saving throw. or become Charmed. So. ah Let me look at him. What is he? He is not wise. He is a plus zero.
Speaker: He rolls a nine. He fails. He is charmed. ah The smell of chocolate has charmed him. for the next round. So. ah He will not attack you or me.
Speaker: ah which is great. because I need to get. Josephine. Off the boat. which is, oh, I'm sorry. ah that was That was your...
Speaker: action? Do you want to do a bonus action or movement? Oh. Yes? Before I take my turn. Yes, I want to do. Nobody's hurt, so you don't need to heal anybody with Healing Word.
Speaker: ah If you wanted to give me bardic inspiration, I would not say no to it. I will give you bardic inspiration. Okay. That's wonderful. Great. I will take.
Speaker: a D6 of bardic inspiration. Thank you. I am going to... Oh, do you want to move from where you are? uh reposition yourself in any way to be able to do something for next round or Do you want to stay more or less where you are?
Speaker: I'll move on to the boat. Okay. Just so I can have a better position to attack if needed. Yeah, you are about halfway in between. The two of them then, they are both on the shore.
Speaker: At the edge and you are on a boat in between them. uh, by the docs. I am going to jump off of... Boat number seven, Josephine in hand.
Speaker: Take her over to the edge. and drop her off so that she is safe. And then from this distance... ah Because I don't have enough distance to get. back there.
Speaker: I am going to... I am going to aim an Eldritch Blast. At. and our good friend Dr. Octopus, the mayor. ah That hits. That is a 19.
Speaker: I hit him for 14. Force damage. That's a pretty good hit. That is going to be my turn. I did not need the inspiration, but I will use it.
Speaker: Maybe the next time. It is now the bad guy's turn. Surge is charmed. He's not going to do anything. ah He's just going to sit there and smell. the lovely chocolate.
Speaker: Wait, we still have to save bolt 4? ah we do have to save both for. There's still people there. But. There's no... But there's no ah there's no fire there.
Speaker: Yeah. It was good because... um If you hadn't charmed Serge, he was going to throw another Molotov cocktail at you. Vote number four. That would have been bad.
Speaker: So that would be it. Um, The fire could spread again, but only on a g Nat 20 would it jump all the way across the river. I think we're okay. uh,
Speaker: Well, okay. So... Anyway. ah Doc Ock, the Comte de Renon. Um, comes over. By you. And ah using his giant.
Speaker: mechanical arms that seemed to be covered in chocolate. ah he is going to grasp at you. And see. if he can hit you.
Speaker: Don't do it!
Speaker: Oh, oh. That is a 19. So I believe that hits. What's your armor class? Au revoir. 17. Okay, so he hits you.
Speaker: ah And that is going to do 2d4 plus 2 piercing damage. ah which is nine. piercing damage and Uh... A D6.
Speaker: of poison damage too. So that is 11. Overall? That doesn't seem good. You also have to...
Speaker: ah do a constitution saving throw for me. Okay. of uh, Over. 12. Constitutions.
Speaker: Where is that? Out. right below your strength decks constitution there's the box with the other strength intelligence decks wisdom col Oh, is right. or you can It's yeah. So I do the plus three next year the con. con ah Correct.
Speaker: Okay, come on. Oh, no. too. Okay. Oh no. Uh, You are poisoned. And at the end of your next turn, you'll do another.
Speaker: Constitution saving throw. and um you ah you are... Paralyzed? uh will take more poison damage at the end of next next round if you cannot escape the ah What? paralyzation. from his poison. poison poison. Poison.
Speaker: Poison. I wish I'd realized I had to go to... Yeah. i I thought we were just fighting them or I would have gone closer to... Vote for I Forgot.
Speaker: No, it's all good. That's okay. That's why I have no wisdom. Drunk little fairy. Boat 4 is okay for now. We're all right. We'll get to that on your on your next turn. ah It is now. So that's Doc Ocks. turn.
Speaker: It is now the fire's turn. roll a d20 to see how it does. let's Keep it low, boys. Nope. Nope.
Speaker: That is an 18. ah It spreads. boat one is kaput it is it is gone at the bottom of the At the bottom of the river. Um... And this spreads down by the river.
Speaker: Now both. 3. is also on fire. And vote. 2. Uh... is. very much on fire. And if we don't do something to put it out. will sick.
Speaker: But that's okay because we're all on the other side of the river from it. So. We're all. We're all right. Back to you. You are paralyzed.
Speaker: Give me another constitution saving throw to see if you can break out of it. You only needed 12 or above. Boom. There you go. Go 23.
Speaker: Okay, you break out of your paralyzation. Unfortunately, Uh, You. You cannot. Um, move this turn because you only get to do it at the end of your turn So you'll have to wait.
Speaker: for your next turn to be able to do anything. Okay. But. At least you're not paralyzed anymore. And that's good. I... am going to...
Speaker: Move. to get in between the two of them. And I'm going to try to distract them and attract. their attention, so they will leave you alone.
Speaker: I can tank their hits a lot easier than you can. I'm not messing with Serge because he's charmed right now. ah And so what I am going to do.
Speaker: I am going to... Cast? Command. I'm going to cast command on. On our friend the mayor? And...
Speaker: I hand him a handful of chocolate. and tell him Eat. With command, I can give a one -word... a one word direction and then he has to do A.
Speaker: Wisdom saving throw against my spell save. DC. to see if he can do it. Now. Uh... Luckily, I have a year. I'm at a 16 right now because of... my enhancements. So...
Speaker: ah Let's see how he does on his. his wisdom -saving throw. Oh no! He rolled a dirty 20. He does not. No. boo that sucks Dang it.
Speaker: Oh. I wish I could do. Huh. Oh. You know what, Brooke? what Can you use... Your. Reaction. Uh huh.
Speaker: And. cast silvery barbs on him. Yes. Silvery barbs use... You magically distract the triggering creature and turn its momentary uncertainty into encouragement.
Speaker: For another creature, the triggering creature must re -roll the d20. and use the lower roll. So I get to roll. That again. How? Damn it!
Speaker: Hmm. Oh, that was his rule, not yours? That was still a save. ah He rolled an 18. Um, So we rolled an 18 and a 20 to...
Speaker: Resist the... resist eating the chocolate. It's not going to be that easy. They're not letting us. Do this. Okay. boo I'm sorry. I wasted a first -level spell from you.
Speaker: But. Um, Okay. Let's... let's try to finish these guys off um oh but it is now their turn Surge is no longer...
Speaker: Charmed by you. So he's going to try to... How dare he? Yeah. ah He is going to... Melee attack me?
Speaker: ah He hits. He rolled a 25. Holy crap. And using his giant pair of red handled scissors. he did He inflicts me with 11.
Speaker: slashing damage. That sucks. The mayor. is going to do Another. another bite attack but this time on me And yeah, that will not hit. He rolled an eight.
Speaker: So. That does not hit. That is his turn. ah You are no longer poisoned. He is no longer charmed. uh it is now unfortunately the fire's turn again and let's see Fire is relentless. fire is ah Oh good. ohof and only That's not bad. It's only a six. It does not spread. It stays exactly.
Speaker: She's too bad for boat one. Okay. boat two remains on fire but Let's finish these guys off. Calliope, what are you... How do you want to take these guys on? I mean...
Speaker: I think... Do I want to use my Rapier of Tragic Combat? I mean, you can, you can definitely do that. I mean, the more The more we take their hit points down, I mean, we can knock them out.
Speaker: Or kill them. Can I use my thunder wave on them? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Let's Thunderwave these bastards. Okay. If you want to move, you can... Well, let's see. can Can we get them so that they're both in a...
Speaker: 10 foot cube? No, they're not. unfortunately right next to each other. ah you can do one or the other. Or, oh wait, no, I'm sorry, it's a 15 -foot cube.
Speaker: Are they? How close are they on the map? There. I'm going to say, okay. You can hit both of them, but you will also hit me.
Speaker: You have my permission to hit me with a thunder wave. in order to hit both of them. So yes. Okay. you I'm going to do it. Okay. Great. I'm gonna do it. And then.
Speaker: So we all need to... What? What? ah DC, do we need to hit? It's a... Okay. Khan of 14. Uh -huh. Okay.
Speaker: So I'm going to roll for myself first. See if I get pushed back. o i found Oh, no. It's all right. It's all right. I can take it.
Speaker: And then what do I roll for them? um i or i do I'm rolling for them. I'm rolling there. Oh, you're right. Constitution. So. Doc Ock. Gets a 15.
Speaker: He saved. ah He will take half damage, but he's not. Carl Hungus. Rolls a nat 20. Um... So. ah They are not pushed back, but they do take.
Speaker: ah Go ahead and roll damage and ah they will. they will take half of that. And I roll that. With. What do I roll that with? Is it the 3D8? Yes.
Speaker: Okay. Thunder. They both take six points of thunder damage. I take two. 12 points of thunder damage. i am i am looking a little beat up I'm i'm i'm way too ah Um, I know I can take it.
Speaker: i um I'm looking pretty bad. Uh, I think we should be, I think I should be okay. Famous last words, right? Okay, I am going to do...
Speaker: What I tried to do. Last time. And I'm going to once again... Ah. try i'm gonna i'm gonna use my movement to stand up after being Push back.
Speaker: And I'm going to walk. Back over. Two. uh, to the Conte. and I am going to command him to eat. this chocolate.
Speaker: See if he resists me this time. Don't do it. You know you want. You know you want this chocolate. you Eat the fucking chocolate. Eat the fucking chocolate.
Speaker: Okay. Yeah, that's a five. He. Suck it. eats the handful of chocolate. And... Is immediately.
Speaker: Charmed. And calmed down. And just like in the movie. after expressing so much of his rage but tasting.
Speaker: This amazing chocolate. goes to sleep. And then Carl Hungus seeing his boss. ah be charmed by the chocolate ah is going to run away.
Speaker: So. ah We won. Oh wait. Quick, we've got to run over to boat four and rescue those people there. Um. We'll just narrate that we did that. There's no other obstacles in our way.
Speaker: Oh. We're very easily able to do that. It's at a dock. we get them off. Everyone is fine. The boats on the far side of the river. Uh. Two of them burned down.
Speaker: Um, But we're able to get over and stop the fire on boat three. So... Everything is fine. We had a very happy ending.
Speaker: with all of this. Six out of eight ain't bad, right? yep Yup. Yeah. So. That's the win condition. We head into the next room. Let's quickly, I know you've got a jet.
Speaker: We'll do quickly do ratings. Who's the midge? Play the game and then roll to see what we watch next. I love it. Okay. Um... where do Where do you rate Chocolat?
Speaker: On a scale of our. I'm. Great. 1 to 20. I want a 20. I'm going to put chocolate at a 17. Yeah. I'm gonna go for an 18. I really, I was yeah so charmed. I'm kind of envious too. Yeah. I just thought since I gave the last one an 18, I was being too generous, but I'm going to join you at that 18. But the point is, these movies are great. like that The Gold Rush is on the AFI.
Speaker: Top 100. Chocolat was nominated for Best Picture. I think the these films earn those accolades. apps They really do. Yeah. That's great.
Speaker: It's totally awesome. Um, Who do you think is the midge of this movie? I think. The midget of this movie is Josephine. Yeah, there's a strong case for that. Absolutely.
Speaker: I really feel like... Her story... Uh huh. fierceness, like the art of her entire character. Is so important to showing.
Speaker: The community aspect of this, the thing that we were talking about, what makes it so... f freaking relevant still to this day is like Each of those stories was so important and each of those stories with. Out.
Speaker: her, we wouldn't have seen The full impact of the chocolate or the chocolate shop. Or... her Their purpose in the town. And I think that Josephine.
Speaker: Besides, you know... The mother, the ah what was... What was, what's your name? Carrie Ann Moss. Yeah, I can't remember her character's name. No. Oh. Armanda? Yes. Yes.
Speaker: Yeah. She's so good too. Yeah. There's so many good... good characters, but I really feel like Like, Josephine. doesn't just like stay in her character she has a full A full turn.
Speaker: And I fully knew. self. And I i love it. i And and i what I love about this. is it this is like the ultimate like sort of like pass it on pay it forward movie by VN by Sharing her love of chocolate. by bringing in Josephine as an apprentice.
Speaker: you know really changes everything. And then the whole town comes together because of that. And then Josephine ends up. taking over her...
Speaker: deadbeat husband bar and having her own new life. It changes the end. Yeah. yeah Yeah, she changes VN. She changes the look. Yeah, and she changes VN too.
Speaker: She changes Anouk. She changes Vianne. It's... that that's That's what community is all about. And that's why you're totally right. it is and that That is why she is the midge. Um.
Speaker: I am going to shout out. my my boy Alfred Molina, though, because... I love his arc, too, but i i I feel like. The villain can't necessarily be the midge.
Speaker: But. No, but without him, there isn't. the there is But there is no movie without him. So. He's yeah he's great. Um, yeah But there are also like three or four other people who you could argue are. Judi Dench.
Speaker: Judi Dench is right up there. Um. There's so many great. Judi Dench is a forever midge. Yeah. Whatever she's in, she's a forever midge. I think that's. I think that is true.
Speaker: Um... Yep. Play the game? What do you think? I mean, I want to be selfish and nominate myself and say I finally got him to eat the fucking chocolate.
Speaker: That's what Encounter did. Or that's when it ended. ye so we were We were both struggling against them until you got that chocolate down his mouth and then it was done. Okay.
Speaker: That and our... That and our familiars. yeah oh yeah hey our familiars give it to the dogs give it to the dogs give it up for the dogs woof woof are Diamond dogs up in the house. Okay.
Speaker: ah So I'm going to roll. Four. What we're going to watch next. Oh, that's another Nat 20. ah so Stop it. It's my choice.
Speaker: Oh my gosh. Why do I want to... Okay. This means that all of the other members of the podcast who keep not being here have to show up next week. I know, they really do. It's like, you guys are missing out.
Speaker: Like... i I feel like I have... ah there's There's one... always very glaring film. on like my list of things that I need to have watched.
Speaker: That is one of those like seminal movies and people are always shocked. that I've never seen it. And it's on so many lists. ah And it seems like it's... Going to be right up my alley.
Speaker: So we're going to watch All About Eve. It's finally time. I need to watch that. So. I haven't seen it either. that's i think great I think I mentioned it on episode one as like one of those.
Speaker: It's just like one of those movies I've never seen. And hey. That's how it is. We've all got blind spots. We've all got. things we haven't seen like chocolate there's too many movies out there They keep making hundreds more of them every year.
Speaker: and Probably 20 or 30 of them you probably should see. And nobody's got time for that. Anyway, i'm going to i'm I'm saying let's watch All About Eve. ah That's what we're doing next week.
Speaker: Hey, Brooke, thank you for hanging in with me here. This was a little bit longer of a session, but I had a really great time. I did too. Thank you so much. It's a little bit crazy and involved, but we got through it all. Hey, go eat some chocolate.
Speaker: Yeah. Go eat some chocolate. That's it. may May all your snacks be chocolate and may all your dice rolls. being at 20s. We'll see you next time with All About Eve. Eat some chocolate, you horny bastards.
Speaker: To get out. a tree.
