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00:00:01
fixated on going to the chapel
25 Plays9 days ago
Hiiii! Welcome to our first THEMED episode. Inspired by The Drama, we're chatting all about love, marriage and wedding media. Enjoy!!
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Music: House loops 107 simple mix down tempo.wav by josefpres License: Creative Commons 0
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Transcript
00:00:04
Speaker
Hi! Welcome back to Fixated, a podcast with us, Ellen and Joelle. I'm Ellen. And I'm Joelle. This is a podcast where we talk about all the media and culture and stuff that we just can't look away from. The things we just can't seem to get over.
00:00:16
Speaker
Yes, and why it all matters so much to us. This week, we have our first themed episode. So we talk about love and marriage and weddings, kicking off with talking about the drama. and it was super fun.
00:00:31
Speaker
So, enjoy! Let's go! We are here, back again, on our little screen, separate from each other. Quel dommage. What's up?
00:00:42
Speaker
How you been? been good. I've been... i miss you. it was fun to do our last episode in person. I know. miss my little square, too, on our screens. I know, because we don't have... um It's not like we have, like, a multi-camera setup when we were doing that. that other episode um no multi-camera setup no mics not yet hey you live and you learn and you grow exactly and we apologize for those weird um there is a big old audio situation yeah randomly hey hey nobody noticed i don't think it was my turn to edit i tried our darndest to edit around it and to fix it but yeah so we're back with the normal setup
00:01:25
Speaker
The somewhat normal setup. yeah um And yeah, ready to do another episode. We have a fun one today, as you guys already heard in the A bit of a themed episode. um anduded our first real theme.
00:01:42
Speaker
Right? Right? That's like, as we were discussing, like the glory of early days of the pod, we can keep kind of seeing what's the format or what our different formats could be. And last week we had our first guest. This week is first theme. We're just going to kind of... Next week, who knows? Next week, who knows? Exactly.
00:02:04
Speaker
And ah we laugh. We have laugh and laugh. Yeah. Okay. Let's just hop right to it. um First things first, non-media fixations. My biggest non-media fixation of this week is it's a life fixation. Like it's it's not new, but it's heavier this week than it has been in the past. Sour candy.
00:02:25
Speaker
i thought yes I've got a real sour candy problem and I always have, but I usually don't have like more than one bag open at a time. I keep it normal. I keep it keep it chill. This week has not been chill. I was in a situation where I was handed a lot of free sour candy, like a lot of it. And I have been eating more than I should in one one sitting. It's disappearing quickly. let me tell you, this is a lot of sour candy I have in my possession at the moment. Well, that's awesome. First of you're rich. yeah i Literally, I'm rich.
00:03:02
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. It's the best. That reminds me of, I was listening to um the Off Menu podcast with James A. Castor and Ed Gamble.
00:03:15
Speaker
That's their names, for sure. sure And John Mulaney was on, which was fun. And i think for his dessert, he said that he, like, do you know the premise of that show? don't know what you're talking about. Yeah.
00:03:29
Speaker
um James Acaster and Ed Gamble, they're like two friends. Hey, much like us. Oh my God. Hey. Comedians. You know James Acaster though, right? Yeah, they have a podcast where they they their guests like do like a dream menu. for They're just kind of like talking through their dream menu. um And you know, have little bits and stuff and it's fun. And yeah, so John Mulaney was on. They've randomly had Robert Niro on. They have like their own story about it, but it's just so random and funny. And I did listen to that episode. um Had John Mulaney on.
00:03:59
Speaker
And they asked him, they got to the dessert and they asked him what his dessert was. And he was like, like a pack of Sour Patch Kids and a cigarette. For some reason I was like, you but also, yeah, of course. yeah like That's also, i like that vibe. I like that vibe. It's very middle-aged dad.
00:04:16
Speaker
Good vibe. vibe And I thought about the Sour Patch Kids because I also thought about how you like the big ones. I was just going to say, yeah, if you didn't bring it up, I was about to. I've got a real thing with those big Sour Patch Kids. if anyone knows the big Sour Patch Kids, they're not as sour as the texture is much better.
00:04:32
Speaker
Oh my god, they're hard to find. Delicious. They're in like exclusively gas stations and they only come in the big shareable pack. They're so good. I'm not sharing that. That's just for me. It's the best. Starpatch kids, if you're listening, please. Please.
00:04:51
Speaker
I'm not kidding. This has been this has a been a campaign of yours, I think, for a while. like it has.
00:05:01
Speaker
like With very little digital footprint. you're saying I wasn't anywhere online. I just was like, please Zarbach kids. I've been on their, I was going to say their PR list. theyre I've been on their email list for like three years. Like, I don't know why. i like to know what they're cooking up in the Zarbach kitchen.
00:05:21
Speaker
We will get you on that PR list. We will. Please. um help God willing. Oh my God. need Sour Patch Kids merch. like we a while ago We went to the toy store when you were visiting me in New York. We went to FAO Schwartz and we found a big, giant, sparkly Sour Patch Kids. And want that thing so bad.
00:05:41
Speaker
i want that. got to go back and get it. We should. Yeah, we. I should. I got to go with you. Yeah, but that's real itself. Sour Patch Kids. and or Sour candy in general, yes, it can be a, it can save you in your darkest moments, right personally think. Apparently sour candy is like good for anxiety too, which I don't,
00:06:03
Speaker
I've never experienced that. I've never had been feeling anxiety and been like, let me see if sour candy takes place. Like, that's not why I'm eating it. I started laughing at you being like, I've never experienced that anxiety.
00:06:15
Speaker
Don't struggle go with that one. normal. No concern. Don't understand that one. um And it's because of all the sour candy I'm eating that so chill.
00:06:26
Speaker
God, nature's medicine. Nature's medicine. Sour Patch Kids. Big Sour Patch Kids. Big Sour Patch Kids. That's candy. Oh my goodness. It makes me think of sour Skittles as well. i can like taste it. I know. And they fuck up the roof of your mouth so bad. It hurts so bad. You're like, this is delicious. Oh my God. um Yeah. Okay. That's fantastic. That's a great fixation. Yeah. but you my Your non-media fixation of the week.
00:06:57
Speaker
My non-media fixation... Yeah, i feel like i I really clued into this week. And it's because I was about to text you a question because I rely upon you for some grammatical advice. And it's a bit of more of like a grammatical question. um i think that people use the word resonate incorrectly.
00:07:18
Speaker
i don't know why it's become such a little like, earworm's not the right term for it. But like, it keeps on like when I hear it, I'm like, i I'm like, that's not that's not how you use it. Where people say, i believe,
00:07:30
Speaker
What I believe you have to tell me if it's true or if you know any better. And I just refused to Google it before because knew this was what I was going to talk about. People will say, feel bad for throwing Olivia Rodrigo under the bus, but the most recent person I saw say it was not just her. She was on Zane Lowe Apple Music podcast, whatever. She said something about, I really resonate with XYZ.
00:07:54
Speaker
And I'm like, that's not how you use the word resonate. that's not like Something resonates with you. yes A song resonates with you. You don't resonate with the song. don't resonate with something else. Exactly. Like that's not how, that's not the direction. And I was trying to think of like, is it like transitive and transitive verb? I don't know.
00:08:09
Speaker
It doesn't matter. People use it incorrectly all the time. And I'm like, hello don't know why it bothers me so much actually that's crazy because that's something too that if i had seen that would have driven me up a wall i think yeah and i think i just heard it too many times of recent like one or two times this week and like yeah just in general where like that's not how you say that i don't know weird weird hill to die on maybe I'm not even like that much of a picky person.
00:08:41
Speaker
I really am. To me, not a weird hill at all. That's the hill I'm going on constantly. Yeah. I mean, guess I generally believe that like if you understand what people are trying to say, don't have to be overly corrective. I've had chill out about my like grammatical issues. Yeah. with other people speak in the past because it truly doesn't matter yeah sometimes it gets on your nerves sometimes it bothers you but little annoying it's a little annoying yeah so that was the thing i think i'm like guys so that's all i just i want i want to like run on this where it's just like please like something resonates with you don't resonate with with an item or with a something whatever yeah
00:09:21
Speaker
ah now I will have to look up what is grammatically going on there. But that's correct, right? Like that sounds... fascinating I mean, I think now I'm really like worried that we're wrong.
00:09:32
Speaker
But I'm trying to like expand and like use examples as to why I think that is the case, but... No, I don't think that you can choose... Like, you can't resonate with something else. You don't know that you're... It's an internal thing. Can I Google this? I'm going to look this up to be sure. To be sure.
00:09:54
Speaker
If it ends up being... grammatically correct, then I'll just say that I hate it. That's fair. That I just don't like how it sounds, actually. MarionWebster.com says it means to have a particular meaning or importance or to affect or appeal to someone in a personal or emotional way, which...
00:10:12
Speaker
In theory, I guess then you could resonate with something else, but I don't know how you would know that you are resonating with something. You can't resonate with a song. You can't resonate with an item. You can resonate with person, but that yeah person is the one that knows.
00:10:27
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's the thing. like If you use like resonate, if you substitute it out with something that's I don't think it's like a perfect synonym, but let's say similarly, like the word appeal. Like you wouldn't say like, I appeal to the song. It's the song appeals to me.
00:10:43
Speaker
Yes. You know what i saying? Like it's the same. It must be some type of, the only thing I think of is like transitive versus intransitive. Yeah. But I can barely even describe what I mean by that. That's just not the right use of that word. That's just not how you use it.
00:10:58
Speaker
Yeah. So that's my... m Not to list another word that bothers me because obviously there's the um whenever people don't know how to use the word whenever anymore. Interesting. You haven't seen this. All these kids are talking about when they're talking about like a specific instance. Oh, whenever I was in school. no Oh, when? Yeah. Yeah.
00:11:22
Speaker
And I really try to, because like you were saying, especially in day-to-day conversation, it's fine. If you misuse a word or if if, as long as someone understands what you're saying, like it is fine. It doesn't actually matter. These rules were made up by people. They don't, they're not set in stone. Like grammar and language moves and changes. It is fine. It's just fascinating. That one does get on my nerves. But the one that really has been bothering me lately, i see people misusing the word mortified.
00:11:47
Speaker
all the time they think it means that's not what means like that one is just wrong mortified does not mean scared it is just an intense form of embarrassment like right I mean, that one, you're just wrong. Yeah. You can be horrified by your own mortification.
00:12:07
Speaker
Exactly. It's not the same. I'm getting worked up. Yes. It's just like, and that's not a misuse of grammar or language or something. That's just, you don't know what that word means. And that's fine. We all make mistakes. Yes. Girl, you're just wrong.
00:12:25
Speaker
I like that. I like this game. It's fun. Let's keep talking about. people are wrong and we are right in our we're always right when other people are often wrong that's a good one that's fine yeah thanks thanks it's it's it's true to me it's true to me um not media fixation I think that's like basically our quick ones. I had like one other that I thought about, as you know, which is I'll mention quickly. Just now that I'm back scrolling on TikTok a lot randomly, I'm on like French TikTok, French slash Francophone TikTok. And I really appreciate it because still have very general desires to be fluent in French. And it's fun. That's all. They're really out there just speaking French. And I'm like, what the hell? was like, why did I get here? But also, cool. I'll stay. This is fun. That's really fun. What a good way to learn. That's a crazy dual lord drop. Yeah, yeah. I would love. I mean, arguably, I'm not that.
00:13:25
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know what I would count as my like French speaking level. But definitely not fluent. No, but you can't close to fluent. not yeah don't know i wouldn't be the one to know but converse yeah converse jesus we're like other people don't know how to speak that was bad oh god gotta keep up my reputation no um this is really me we're all human we're all human but also please use resonate correctly and mortify please
00:13:56
Speaker
that's all we're asking i'm begging and whatever yeah but okay and fantastic yeah let's so on to the main content what are we fixated on this week we've kind of already yeah preordained it but yeah um weddings i think love yeah bridge course that exactly initiated by started by Yes, the drama, the drama, exactly. You're inspired by the drama. You know what's funny? Before I go any further. um I was so like, kind of sick. I have an idea. Yeah. And trying not to like get in too many other like opinions or anything like that, like trying to steer clear. um And just in general being like fun, marriage, wedding, going to the chapel type of, and getting divorced. um yeah see around an episode couple Going to the courthouse. Going to the courthouse, exactly. um And then I saw those people at Critics at Large, their most recent episode is
00:15:03
Speaker
like it was like the drama beef and like the the new marriage plot or something like that and i was like i was like they beat me to it the professionals um that's true no it's funny i was like i'll take that as a sign that like on the same wavelength yeah sure we are the layman's exactly the lay woman's the lay internet person's Exactly. Critics at large. Yeah. Sometimes. Maybe. For the internet girl. Exactly. Exactly. um And I didn't listen to the episode because I was like, you know what?
00:15:34
Speaker
Smart. we're keeping We're keeping it fresh. I'm not going to steal any of their analyses. I might listen to it after. But yeah, that's our fixation this week. And I wanted to start by going through the list of marriage, wedding,
00:15:49
Speaker
dissolution of marriage um type of media that's either like current, fresh on the mind, generally something that we've seen before. i think the majority of these that we have listed we've seen before. And yeah, just kind of serve it up and get the ball rolling from there. So...
00:16:08
Speaker
On this list, in terms of recent things, um there's the drama, of course. um There's Is This Thing On, directed by Bradley Cooper. Something Very Bad is Going to Happen, which is a show.
00:16:21
Speaker
I fact-checked this. A show on Netflix um that neither of us have watched, but it's recent. About almost, or like to be weds, not newlyweds, to be weds. The Invite, directed by Olivia Wilde, which is incoming. There is Beef Season 2, which I started, and features a, like,
00:16:40
Speaker
Married, kind of more millennial slash older millennial couple versus a like ah like a to-be-wed engaged. That's a better term. um gently tuy I I kind like to-be-wed as well. Like to-be. It's much like to-be. I'm not doing a good job of like just running through this list. Okay.
00:17:00
Speaker
But no one should have expected me to be. No. Yes. And then some that are just kind of, you know, a little bit more in general, just run through them. Marriage story, movie, scenes from a marriage, show, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:17:14
Speaker
jeer Mr. and Mrs. Shit. Run that back. Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the show and movie. His and Hers, which is a show that was on Netflix that has Jon Bernthal and Tessa Thompson.
00:17:28
Speaker
Then we have some classics. 27 Dresses, Bride Wars, My Best Friend's Wedding, The Wedding Planner, Something Borrowed, many feelings about that movie imagine me and you jenny's wedding some lesbian weddings period um the wedding banquet plus one anyone but you mainly because it is at like a wedding i think you know wedding i think it yes bridesmaids huge mama mia i was like yeah i forgot the whole plot of that is that she's about to get married and that's what brings it all together right like crazy um princess diaries 2 runaway bride the proposal my big fat greek wedding monster-in-law wedding season bride and prejudice the bachelor slash bachelorette series we're getting to some other yeah tv shows love is blind obviously big kind of like wedding marriage stuff um there's of course glee wedding episodes of which there are i believe three i think three is many yeah three is many
00:18:27
Speaker
And all fantastic. my favorite's from season four, but season four's just one of my... I think it's my favorite season of Glee. Whatever. Funny Girl, which I think is becomes largely about marriage. The Family Man. Love The Family Man. The Family Man. There's also Beautiful Wedding, which... my god.
00:18:47
Speaker
Hoping to get that response from Which we have we lucky have to dedicate time. ah i I don't want to say love that movie because I obviously don't love that movie, but I love that movie. It is one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life. And it's absolutely sensational. one Yes, that's the best way to put it. One of the worst movies I think ever created and one of the best pieces of art I've ever seen.
00:19:16
Speaker
It's insane. It's insane. um The Birdcage we just decided was good for um gay guy marriage movie. Then there's some like music.
00:19:27
Speaker
Chateau Lobby No. 4 and Sea for Two Virgins by Father John Misty. Golden Hour by Kacey Musgraves is a good like relationship, marriage, wedding, happy times. And then she of course came with Starcrossed, which is divorced. um Eternal Sunshine by Ariana Grande, arguably also a divorce album because homegirl was married. Rumors by Fleetwood Mac.
00:19:46
Speaker
Huge. People were getting divorced, there was affairs, there were breakups, you know, great stuff. things um West End Girl by Lily Allen, I think is probably one of our most recent strongest, like, true, like, walk through the dissolution of a marriage, of a relationship.
00:19:59
Speaker
Awesome album. um There's Marry You by Bruno Mars, um which, of course, features in the one of the Glee episodes. 30 by Adele is understood to be her divorce album. And I thought about Parachute by Hayley Williams. Love that album that it comes from, her most recent album. And she's on tour. And so I've just been seeing a lot of videos of her performing it. And she's being like, Loki, you could have stopped my wedding if you knew it was going to be so bad.
00:20:27
Speaker
Why didn't you do that? oh Crazy. um So that's the list of things. um what Yeah, just to get a little taste. um And there's also just obviously just like so much marriage slash wedding stuff. um The culture cares. um And I think that as you were discussing, we were talking about doing this theme that maybe Maybe arguably now more than ever, you know, in our Oscars episode, we talked about um kind of like family and yes stuff being a focus. And I think this is kind of like an offshoot um going along that trend. I think, yeah, the drama, that Netflix thing, some other movies and stuff kind of exemplify that. But um obviously a very longstanding interest in depicting wedding, marriage, divorce, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
00:21:20
Speaker
So yeah, let's start with the drama. yeah We both saw it. We did. The drama. We haven't spoken yet about it. Mm-mm, mm-mm. What did you think? I think i i think i I texted you immediately after. i think I really liked that because it's one of those ones that it did take me a second because I tend to really hate a movie that i don't want to say exists to make you anxious because obviously there's than that. But when that is kind of one of the goals of the film, i hate that. But this one I really enjoyed. I really, really liked it. And obviously the two lead performances were crazy. um Yeah. They were
00:21:59
Speaker
Like, I think maybe that's why i enjoyed it so much because I, I don't know, the performances were really good. You were really with the characters. um So I think that's like a solid starting off point. I completely hear you about the like anxiousness. I think one thing that maybe mediated that a little bit for me was that I watched it in a totally empty theater. So there wasn't really anyone else's like energy to feed off of. Okay.
00:22:24
Speaker
Almost in a positive way. Like i and like i I took in the like vibes of the movie, but i don't know. I just think that makes a difference in a way. so i was just kind of like sitting there experiencing it just like full on myself. um And so totally understood that, but I was a little...
00:22:39
Speaker
I was interested in seeing some reviews of it on Letterboxd. That seems, yeah, a little bit more like passionately commenting on being like, that shit stressed me out. yeah Like, ah. um Because that wasn't like my immediate experience of the movie. I think I was just like enthralled in a sense. scene like I was like really engaged in following it. yeah um And kind of being like, oh my God. I was it. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I also, i also liked it. I also, i think I liked it like pretty immediately, you know, like i left the theater with a positive feeling about it. um
00:23:18
Speaker
And was really like, i I think what sold it was the end. Cause I was a little bit worried that we weren't going to see again.
00:23:29
Speaker
again at the end, like when he was going to the diner. Sorry. Also like a spoiler alert like spoilers, like oops, spoilers and also no other like explanation of the plot. If you've seen it, you've seen it. Sorry. um Anyways. So I was worried, spoiler alert, that we weren't going to see Emma at the end, but then when she did show up and kind of how it ended, I was like, uh nice nice and so really worked for me yes and then i think it just i like increased how much i liked it honestly once i started again kind of like engaging a little bit more with the the like takes and reviews about it um think pieces think pieces aplenty low-key but um yeah i think it i think it's a really interesting movie i think there's like something that's like
00:24:17
Speaker
This feels almost like I worry about this seeming like a flat way to say I'm like, there's is something kind of bold about the like premise um that I think was treated definitely. know there's like, but there's some controversy maybe with the actual subject matter. um and how they kind of use the mass shooting thing of it all. you like um But I was pretty bought into it. Like, I i don't know. i liked I liked it as a plot. I thought it was ah interesting. It was, I don't know, for lack of a better, like I haven't seen it done before.
00:24:53
Speaker
Yeah, right? it was a really unique kind of take on it, I guess. Yeah, I completely agree. Did you have any of it spoiled for you at all? No, I didn't. I was avoiding everything. Yeah, I did have it lightly spoiled. lightly Which is a little annoying, I know. i mean, I didn't know much about it. I just had so i just saw something in passing that like referenced...
00:25:17
Speaker
the yeah the like mass shooting plans of it all um I'm trying to figure out some other way to like but because it just feels so harsh to even talk about but um yeah so it didn't come to me as a complete surprise but I still just liked everything about it like I still liked I don't know I liked the style of the movie i liked the editing I liked the vibe liked I like really liked the editing of it yeah yeah I don't know I wrote in my like letterbox review whatever to cite myself but Yeah, I still maintain that i was like it was like interesting and kind of provoking without making it feel like it was like just for the sake of it and provocative to like get shock value, basically. Yes, definitely. um
00:25:57
Speaker
And I think that's impressive and and and and cool to see. No, I'm with you. Absolutely. I really, and I, I don't know, this is, I guess, maybe a stupid thing to say. I hate when I almost resonate, resonate, when I, think when I do, no, whatever. I hate when I am more. That's what I mean. It almost sounded natural when you got to say it. So maybe, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe was, I don't know. Whatever.
00:26:23
Speaker
I hate when I really feel more with the male character movie, but I was really with him. and like maybe that was or obviously was in part at least due to his performance but like the way that that character was written was so so good the confusion that he was struggling with um yeah i really liked it then i really liked him yeah again like i don't know robert pattenson's one of those people where i'm like i completely understand that he's a good actor i don't think i've like yeah i don't think i've seen him in something and been like
00:26:56
Speaker
that was bad. like you Like his performance was bad. But like, I just like to be reminded that people are good actors. And I was like, good for you. yeah Like you guys are doing so well. He was really, really great in this. I was really with him. Yeah. um When he ran into um the girl's cousin on the street.
00:27:14
Speaker
Yeah. my God. It just, at the whole movie, I was hiding behind my hands. i was like, what are you guys doing? Yeah. Yeah. Listen, I really, i really, I think it is like,
00:27:26
Speaker
a well-written movie. I think of that really becomes evident. yeah Because I think it had a lot of like, sometimes when I say these things, i'm a little bit don't know what I mean, but I trust my intuition. um But I'm like, I think there was like a lot of control of the tone. And I think that's what would have to make it successful to like, to have these like plot devices, these things that are a bit, again, like kind of intense inherently, um but still kind of deliver on something that is both pretty funny. Like, has, like, a good bit of humor in it. Yeah. um And just kind of cringe enough and and then kind of, like, delivers on this, like, overall message, arguably, that's, like, quite nice.
00:28:07
Speaker
kind of like heartfelt at least in the ending with like they're like okay they like start over and i really liked that running motif as well of the start over even though it or like to to the credit of like using it um that it kind of like goes back and forth. like you know It kind of shifts where obviously that's like how the first date even like happened. And then when they're going through like the aftermath of this revelation, he's not able to really buy into it and like really do the start over. And then it comes like back around and it's like somewhat redemptive. I really appreciated that. Yeah, that was good. one interpretation. I love that. That's a really good way to put it.
00:28:54
Speaker
I wasn't even thinking. had kind of forgotten about the start over in the very beginning. Yeah, right. just Yeah. Yeah. yeah I feel like there's like, it's also one those movies where there's so many aspects to like think about and discuss. um I don't want to overdo it, but I have really liked how people have been interpreting it online um or what I've seen. i had i didn't read too many of the like main reviews from like major publications and stuff.
00:29:24
Speaker
um I mainly just saw like a TikTok here and there and some of the people were explaining it. I haven't seen any interpretations other than I read your letter. Okay. Then I'll pose this more as a question. Like, how do you feel about like the different characters' responses to her revelation? Like we talked about Charlie, but I think a lot of people are talking a lot about Rachel. um Yeah. And that aspect of it is interesting to me. It was really interesting because I think the movie kind of makes you hate her really easily. um Whether that's the direct intention or not, it's really easy to dislike that character. But it's also like she's having a really fair reaction to something that is crazy and is at least slightly like related to her in real life.
00:30:12
Speaker
So obviously she's going to have strong opinions about that. And also they say at the wedding, like in her horrific maid of honor speech, and they were not close friends. Yeah. It's a completely fair reaction that she has. And so I have seen some of the people talking online about how she's the worst character in the movie. And I had to be like, let's take a step back.
00:30:31
Speaker
Of course, she's reacting really strongly in a way that's against this main character that I i guess I'm leaning toward liking, even though like, no, she's kind of, she's done a crazy, horrible thing almost. um Not doing it doesn't actually. no I mean, I might follow you down the road because I think I feel...
00:30:50
Speaker
a little bit different. Interesting. go Okay. I don't know. yeah It's, it was, I was really struggling to kind of put myself in her shoes because obviously I like Zendaya. And so I'm wanting to be on Zendaya's side.
00:31:03
Speaker
And I kept having to catch myself being like, I think Rachel is having a normal reaction. Like this is completely fair, even though I don't like her and I don't like the way that she's going about things. Yeah. I think it's probably rooted in reality, maybe more than some of the other characters oh yeah I think it is i i would definitely agree that it's like rooted in reality um yeah I think it was a really interesting time watching the movie and trying to like yeah track and I think after in the aftermath trying to track kind of how I would respond or taking me out of it just yeah how the different characters responded because I guess I was a little bit
00:31:47
Speaker
less gracious to Rachel overall. I i would, in a way i was like, I would almost, i I completely understand her reaction, but I think at least in the, like, in what the movie's trying to like show is that like, she is a little self-righteous at the same time. Like yeah I think. also dids Yeah. they agree I love hate it how they like set it, set that up where like, yeah, like the, but going around the circle.
00:32:14
Speaker
them all explaining things that they explicitly did. Even like, I saw this one creator, which i in a way I wish I would have um be able to like accurately cite her, but whatever.
00:32:26
Speaker
Citing in the abstract, this one person who was like, oh, like things clicked when I really thought about how their, different, um worst things ever done, like really is like used as a tool also to explain their characters point of view on things um and like their fatal flaws basically, but then kind of like, yeah, reproduce and how they also react to the Emma's character whatever. But just being like how it's interesting how like the worst thing that everybody did going on the circle is like, they did things to varying degrees. Like hers arguably may be the worst and most harmful that she very quickly is a little bit inconsistent with as well. When they're like, well, girl, what happened? and she's like, no, like he was found. Like, I don't know, but like he was found and it was fine. I'm pretty sure. Like, yeah. And they're like, oh, okay. And you know, they go, go away with it. And it's just interesting that Emma's is something that like,
00:33:17
Speaker
she didn't do. Like she she did but didn't do. yeah um Yeah. And it's like, again, it has these like much greater like ramif would have had these much greater ramifications and does have these much greater implications. And that's more so what people are like battling versus like what she did and didn't do it explicitly. um And yeah, I just think it's an interesting...
00:33:37
Speaker
I think that's, yeah. No, you're right. It's the central tension tension of like, it's so hard because obviously like it even like it sent a chill down my, I was like, that's like crazy. um And I have like a lot of different thoughts about how they kind of like deconstructed that and how the character discusses it and yeah, those conversations that that they have. But I think, I can't remember exactly which part of what you were saying that I was about to like push back on it, except I guess to be like the point that I think is like very central movie is that like, she didn't actually do it. She like was in a dark place where she thought about doing it. And that's what she's confessed to
00:34:15
Speaker
But like, is that enough? This is me kind of drawing from other like takes, like what, at what point does like, do you punish people for things that they thought to do, but didn't actually do. And it's just, a it's a really question. Yeah.
00:34:30
Speaker
The main thing for me, um, How I phrase this? Because I also have no idea how I would have, how yeah one could react to that. So I do like your point about it being quite realistic for Rachel to react like that. but I feel like also like a big part of it is not, it's not something she was thinking about. It's something she like fully planned out and was going to do and only stopped herself. I think...
00:34:56
Speaker
kind of, i don't know, a big thing is like the way that she didn't stop because she had some big coming to God moment or something. Like there's no empathy there. I think the the continued mention of empathy too is funny. um Yeah. Like it was just coincidence. It was just circumstance that stopped her.
00:35:14
Speaker
I feel like that's a big part of it as well. Like it, you know. Yeah. Yeah. And again, i feel like you can keep going around in circles. Yeah. who I'm not like disagreeing with you, but I also think it's like, well,
00:35:26
Speaker
What's the point of making a moral judgment on like what stopped her is just the fact that something did. Yeah. Like, you know what i mean? Like. Cause she didn't actually do anything. Yeah. And I think that's why, again, it's interesting how the, how at least in the movie they explain it. um And why, again, to use the word empathy, i'm like.
00:35:44
Speaker
weirdly like they they they at least toyed with it where I'm like I do have empathy for her like I do like definitely um where she's like yeah like it's like I woke up from a bad dream like it was just this role that I was playing and then because this happened and they lost like a classmate and then there was like these like you know school communal kumbaya type of thing that then woke her up to something that's like way more positive and inclusive and like actually met her made her feel connected and you're like Right.
00:36:14
Speaker
Like, I don't know. Like, I don't know. I, at least base level, I'm like, that's a really interestingly, like, architected whole entire, like, world and backstory for this character. Yes, definitely. Again, new, I haven't seen before. Yeah. The conversation we're having is interesting because I was not on Rachel's side when I was watching this movie. I feel like, yeah, I'm really playing double-double with Rachel. And I didn't even explicitly hate Rachel. course, it's also just interesting drama that they are constructing with these archetypes. Because I really, yeah, I caught myself feeling for Emma, obviously, a lot of it. And I kept having to be like, you don't know how much you should be feeling for her, I guess. Yeah, exactly. you really Exactly. She's there in front of you and she feels, does she actually feel bad about it? don't know, but she's... Yeah, I think so. think, I mean, think that's, I mean, I think she's like, I don't want to, she does say like, I don't want to talk about it, but she...
00:37:11
Speaker
I really thought it was almost like upsetting. like i was like It's not the tone of the movie to like be moved to tears to a certain extent. But when I think about it, like those scenes that they had with... like I want to say Robert Robert's character Charlie um with like young Emma yeah I feel like that's something I wanted to mention too with the use of I don't want say flashbacks it's not a flashback but young Emma appearing when he's seeing her in this new light especially at the wedding photo shoot I really really enjoyed that of when he's
00:37:49
Speaker
Obviously struggling to see her and match up who she was with who she is. and Yeah. The person he thought he knew. Yeah. And I, yeah, I just, there was something about it that like read to me.
00:38:01
Speaker
Again, maybe it's like more sappy and sentimental than they intended, but whatever. mean, that's how I interpret it. Well, yeah, it just like made me a little sad because like the idea that like young Emma... was really like isolated and alone.
00:38:14
Speaker
And so even though I know that like the scene was meant to be from like Charlie's perspective, i say, like kind of trying to picture like who this girl is slash was, I also thought about it from the perspective of like,
00:38:28
Speaker
how how theoretically that point in time could have been different for her if she had, like, some amount of, like, supportive love in her life. But that's, again, maybe that's me extrapolating too much. Yeah. It made me sad. Like, I felt like, I felt, again, maybe it's, like, an like just funnily, like, an empathy thing. But, like... I kind of wish that they had... I thought that there was going to be more, at least when I first...
00:38:55
Speaker
kind of realized what was going on is that she was, you know, like doing all of this because she was alone and she was bullied. And Charlie's like worst thing that he ever did. He said he, he cyber bullied a kid so bad that he had to move, which wasn't his real thing. But like, I don't know. I kind of wish that there was more there of seeing them in kind of the opposite roles of. Yeah. That's really interesting.
00:39:17
Speaker
Have to do something because of bullying and her. Yeah. somewhere else Yeah. And I'm kind of curious. i I've seen people interpret it different ways and I keep on going back forth, but i personally like the interpretation that like Charlie's kind of like waffling on that and being like, yeah, I don't know. Like maybe I kind of like bullied her, but like, like, you know, and they had to leave town and they're like Oh, did they have to leave town because you bullied? And like, ah, maybe it was just like coincidental. um I like the interpretation that like, that is again, like character specific character, accurate, like,
00:39:52
Speaker
his own somewhat like word cowardice comes to mind, but you know, they, this they, they say, they kind of portray him as like this a little bit more like fidgety nothing character. But yeah, that he is kind of like just worming away around the truth of like, to a certain extent he did actually cyber bully someone. Like, you know what I mean? I like, I like that interpretation. I think it can generally go either way that he was like reaching for something. or he was underplaying something. Yeah.
00:40:21
Speaker
And I like that. Yeah. I kind of interpreted it. I think probably the other way where he was just trying to find something to say, but I really liked that interpretation. That's yeah. Especially with the compared against Emma's.
00:40:33
Speaker
i Yeah. be Interesting. But yeah, I think that um back to thinking about this as like a marriage movie and thinking about the context of all the marriage media that we kind of referenced before. um One of, I think, like interesting takeaway is the fact that this is like a marriage movie where the drama of the marriage the drama pun intended um but like the the the angst all the like issues of the marriage if not like shared between the couple that they that it actually follows and belongs more to the man in the situation if we're being heteronormative um because one of like my major thoughts about like general themes and tropes and stuff across
00:41:23
Speaker
marriage media is that basically almost exclusively um a lot of the drama maybe the only difference someone should like match this up maybe the only difference or the only like one of the outliers is the proposal but like a lot of the actual tension a lot of the stakes a lot of the attention is put on like the woman in the marriage or in the pending marriage. um Maybe it changes with divorce things more, but like, I think maybe the strongest place to find it is like maybe the like music category of it all where like divorce albums arguably always come from women. Like I'm speaking very generally, but like the ones that I'm familiar with um have a very strong exclusively female perspective. Yeah.
00:42:08
Speaker
and Now I'm thinking, I wonder how much this movie actually relates to a lot of our other like marriage movies that we talked about because the main source of drama and like issues with their wedding, it isn't, a lot of it isn't actually coming from them. It's coming externally, like the issues that they're having with their friends and the way that other people going to be interpreting this and how she's worried about how other people are going to it. But also like the main issue is not them not wanting to get married anymore. Like there's not really cold feet or anything like that happening. That's not where the issue is. Like it's him trying to come to terms with this realization or this thing that he learned about her. Yeah.
00:42:44
Speaker
But these people do love each other. And I don't think it doesn't seem like he's really considering leaving her at any point. They are going through with this wedding.
00:42:55
Speaker
pretty much married they do they get married and it doesn't seem to super cross his mind not marry her she does ask like are you still going through with this they're going to get married and then they do like that is not i feel like some other no no i completely agree i think that's a really interesting point that like charlie's like trouble like like very quickly um or i think like predominantly he's trying to more so as say, like justify maybe to like external sources, you know, um, maybe as much to himself, but like why he's like, no, like Loki, I'm still in this. Like I am still in this. he's Like that where he's like freaking out when he's asking, um, Miss Girl from Challengers. I was going to say the C over me and misha Yes, exactly. Um,
00:43:48
Speaker
He's trying to get his own understanding. And like, yes, he still gets mad. yeah Where she's like, no, I'd probably call the cops. He's like, fuck. Because he wants someone understand why he's still marrying her. Because he loves. I love that.
00:44:05
Speaker
It's yeah. um I love that read of it. Yeah. And I like that. Like, it's another way, I guess that it's fresh, that it's way more his struggle that we're following way more. yeah Because again, even in like the comedies between the comedies and the dramas and the whatever, like, it's usually I think like the woman slash like with the woman and her relationships.
00:44:28
Speaker
struggling due to the fact that she's getting married about to get married or isn't married i think there's also like a very strong um always the bridesmaid never the bride trope that comes up um which i watched like the ultimate one of those which is 27 dresses last night to study up um Just fantastic film.
00:44:53
Speaker
And yeah, and in that one, it's sisters. Like it's literally like literally any like any female relationship, if I'm going to be like extra critical is up for being like, torn down in our media depictions of weddings and marriage. at something borrowed. Like, yeah, exactly. Right. Something borrowed. They're like besties, like brides wars. Again, they're just like besties. And they're, feel like I watched that movie more recently than not for some reason. Honestly. Yeah. They're like besties who have like the same vision of their perfect wedding day, basically. And then up getting engaged around the same time and have their weddings like placed in the same place on the same day, you know, something they go through and like sabotage each other. same with Bridesmaids it's a dusty movie Bridesmaids the like legendary film truly like modern classic wow but yeah I don't know and I guess I guess I would say that I don't like that I think that's rude and bad and they shouldn't do that I'm sick of the Bridezilla characteristic let's yeah let's make a groomzilla Let's do a groomzilla. And that leads me to what we were also talking about is that we need more gay guy weddings. Gay guy marriage, gay guy weddings. We were trying to find some examples. There very few out there other than, of course, as I mentioned before, the gay route wedding, famous worldwide. Yeah. Which maybe that also was like the gay route wedding, actually. Sorry. I have to sit and like, actually, actually let that, that's one of maybe, mean, Arthur is a treasure trove. of love Arthur yeah images at the very least memes whatever but the gay rat wedding was so cute it was they were so happy and I remember you specifically when that was happening was that when we were in college yeah you loved that gay rat wedding yeah I loved gay rat it's right up my alley it's so adorable it was love cute shit yeah yeah I may seem rough around the edges but love cute shit what can I say yeah you seem really rough around the edges yeah
00:47:03
Speaker
We were looking for some yeah some gay guy wedding media. And of the leg top suggestions, two were starring the same guy. Jonathan. Yes. worth john's name but like they were We need more gay guy weddings. Yeah. Are we getting married and I want to watch? Exactly. They can have drama too. Yeah, like literally. We all start like having life imitate art accurately. You know, because I think that makes me think just...
00:47:32
Speaker
In terms of You'll understand why I say this, like Fire Island. Like that's a great gay guy movie. and I love Fire Island. Yeah. And it's like written from the perspective of Joel Kim Booster, who knows what he's talking about when he's talking about his community. And I think you could get, if you empower similar um creative, smart writers and filmmakers to make more gay guy weddings, you have a really good thing on your hands um and you'd have a lot of fun with it and it can be really heartfelt and awesome.
00:47:58
Speaker
That's reminding me of the wedding banquet, which we discussed a little bit. It's on the list. um I don't know who it's written by honestly. I think it's a remake of an older movie. Yes. Starring Yang.
00:48:11
Speaker
didn't love that one. It was cute. It was easy and fun. Which, it's not a gay guy wedding movie. That's not what's happening. Right. There's kind of, like, more yeah things. There's more. There's yeah two gay couples. um Yeah.
00:48:24
Speaker
But, yeah. And they're having a straight wedding it' the middle of it. Yeah, right. It's really not a gay guy wedding situation. Yeah. But... But I guess he's closer yeah it's a similar, I guess, in that Bowen Yang is there. That actually might be the only through line. but Yes, Bowen Yang's in both. yeah our otherdding yeah But then it kind of makes me curious, or maybe it's all connected it all makes sense of why there seems to be comparatively more lesbian movies. Yeah. Lesbian wedding movies. um Still with their little like dramas and some infidelity here, this you know forbidden love there and stuff. But like,
00:49:02
Speaker
I guess is it somewhat just because they figure, like, I feel like there's some kind of like, um, some stereotypes of like lesbians, like U-Haul lesbians, you know, that maybe contribute to that. Maybe it's just because it's women. And so they're like, we and you like come know I wonder, yeah, how much of it is the fact that they're lesbians versus the fact that they're women. I feel like the majority of it is honestly the fact that they're women.
00:49:31
Speaker
Yeah. Because there's Imagine Me and You, great which was sweet. We watched be watched in Cabin, right? We watched it together, yeah. And that was fun, and that was sweet. It's a very cute, sweet, like running after you moment in the end. Yeah, yeah. ah Very good stuff. It's cute movie. Very sweet. Yeah, the sweet one. I'm thinking of Anyone But You also. well yes. Which is set at a like lesbian wedding, if not.
00:49:57
Speaker
featuring the lesbian wedding. Exactly. is that Alexandra Shipp also who's getting married? I think so. is I'm such a fan of her. i love her. Shoot. I'm not remembering. like i know I know her, but I'm not remembering her exact like projects that I would know her from. She and Love, Simon. Is that where I first saw Yes. I think it is. Yeah, that's my first my introduction to Alexandra Shipp was Love, Simon. i Love, Simon. And then she was in that movie with Andrew Garfield about Jonathan Larson.
00:50:23
Speaker
Oh my goodness. Yes. And I just saw Forbidden Fruits the other day and she was in that as well. Yeah, she was in it. oh She was really good. um She was maybe my favorite part of it. I just love, I just love her. She was really good in that Andrew Garfield movie about Jonathan Mars. Tick, tick, boom. Yes. Tick, tick, boom. Tick, tick, boom. Thank you. I'm like, tick, tack, Tic-tac-to. That's not what it is. Okay. How about this? I'll segue like this in a way.
00:50:50
Speaker
um With all this marriage talk, I also think about how recently, definitely we were on vacation, it came up a couple of times where we werere like, we need people to start getting married that we know. And admittedly, I have friends who are married and I have been to weddings of which I've never had, or to this date, at least with the two weddings I've been to. I've not been in the winning position by the end of the night. I'll say that. I've not had great performances. um But that doesn't mean I don't want to try and try again. um and i want to go to some weddings. I need to. I've only been to two weddings. Both of my cousins.
00:51:22
Speaker
I want to be at a wedding. i want to be wedding. They're so fun. I like i really... Again, i don't have that much experience, but like it has been awesome both times to be a wedding guest.
00:51:33
Speaker
I love love. bar I just love love. That too. Not just the bar. Just not just the bar. I love i love. I love an open bar and I love to be in a pretty dress and. Exactly. Yeah.
00:51:46
Speaker
But okay, so I was thinking, and this might be a hard answer question to answer because I barely have an answer myself, yeah but I was thinking about like amidst all of these fictional weddings um and marriages and married people that we could possibly upon, which one would be the most likely to attend?
00:52:03
Speaker
um either yeah i guess characters or couples that are canonically yeah is this i almost want to like say but i also want to leave it open though for whatever you might be cooking up like i'm not cooking up anything good okay yeah but also actually of the like characters that i like ship together that are not together they're all fucking messes like nobody those weddings would not be good um Like if we're going back to the last episode of Dan and Amy wedding.
00:52:36
Speaker
Right. That's not going to be a good situation in which I want to find myself. two I'm also trying to think like my first like jokey answer was like um when Sue Sylvester marries herself. it's funny That's funny. I'd go to that wedding. That'd be fun. sue sylvester's such a real ass bitch i know she is i'm gonna just mention our two most recent things in which we must mention in every episode would love to be at the art donalds and tashi donalds and tashi okay yeah whatever i was like i don't even know if i would but i also would i want to be at that wedding because also i know and this is me like fully creating storylines in my head that
00:53:18
Speaker
That not only weren't in the movie, but like within the universe of the movie, this didn't happen. Yeah. I know Patrick Zweig is pounding down that door. I was just saying like, there's going to be the biggest elephant in the room. yeah There's going to be so much drama at that wedding. You're right. Cause, and this is something we've said a thousand times when there's only two of them. Like even when they're not there, they're there. Like they're there there's no world in which you are not feeling the absence of that third person.
00:53:45
Speaker
so yeah that wedding would be great um that wedding would be a lot of fun but in the opposite way I don't feel the need to be at a holonov wedding like there's no I respect that I feel the same like yes I want to dance but those women have chairs that that level of details will go ahead go ahead They famously did not have chairs at their wedding and their first dance song, that wedding was a disaster. And maybe this is getting more into the like why there's no gay male wedding media. Like it was, this was a wedding designed by two men, two male hockey players. Of course it was a disaster. Their first dance song was chosen by a different character. was chosen by Harris, I think. I think that's crazy to outsource that. Crazy to outsource that.
00:54:37
Speaker
I do find it is that's nuts. I do find that honestly, endearing and cute and pretty in character. so i I don't actually mind that in the way I know a lot of people do. But like, I don't, if we're being real, I don't need to be at that wedding.
00:54:49
Speaker
yeah i respect that my friends i would in the world in which i'm friends with those characters i'd love to be there but yeah just didn't seem like the best time i like that i like that um because of course my mind also went to exactly those two examples where else is your mind gonna go but then i was like oh maybe i'll think of something else it's like sue And yeah, honestly, Loki's kind of still don't have and anyone else who I'm really thinking about. Like I think about like my best friend's wedding. But again, I was like, I would love to be there as another much needed friend for Julia Roberts character. Yeah. um
00:55:26
Speaker
I'm there as Cameron Diaz's friend. She's like 19 marrying this old ass man. That's what needs to support her in her corner. Handsome, but yes. Yeah, we can be helping them. kind of absolutely it's making sure that that couple is not getting married yeah yeah yeah yeah with your mission um so yeah i think it'll be fun to be at that wedding um any wedding where there's like a really crazy situation i guess how honestly even i would go to the wedding from the drama not knowing the situation of what's happening because those people are acting crazy crazy nuts i would love to be there looking around homeboy got headbutt at the wedding i said headbutt
00:56:08
Speaker
I said, Horrendous speech. Like, yeah. oh my God. The maid of honor lost her mind. i would love to be there. In the world where I'm at this wedding and you're not, I'm going home and I'm like, oh my God, Joelle. And not even I'm going to the bathroom halfway through. I can't believe what's going on. Yeah. Yeah. I think I would elect to be at the drama wedding. yeah um I think it'd be so fun. And they looked stunning. The would be there. And I'd say, what happened to that DJ? What's going on with this DJ? With this DJ. I feel like we should like wrap it up. finish Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I don't think I have any. Now that we've mentioned calendars and heated rivalry, we've hit our quota for the day. we can wrap it up. Exactly.
00:56:52
Speaker
But anyways, I guess that's it. I mean, i don't have any plans to get married soon. um But you can expect to see something coming in the mail maybe in the next five to 10 years. For now, hashtag married to the pod. Yes. um real And if you know us in real life, please get married. If you are getting married in real life and you don't know please.
00:57:13
Speaker
Invite us anyway. We want to come. Exactly. exactly I would love to come to a wedding. It'd be so fun. I promise i can have fun. It's up to you. And dance. We like to dance. Bring some energy. but yeah, I guess that just about does it Thanks for joining us for this episode. We hope it was fun. We'll be back soon enough with something else. We? Yeah, exactly. We'll see in two weeks. There's more calendars in heated rivalry. Who knows? Who knows? We just can't you just can't seem to shake it. We just can't stay away. We're really delivering on the promise of the premise yeah of the podcast. Actually. You can't say we don't what we're talking about. Exactly.
00:57:55
Speaker
Exactly. Yeah. Follow us on all of our socials at fixated.odd. And yeah. See you next time. This is y'all. Yeah. See ya.