Transcript
Speaker: What if your perfectionism isn't actually the problem? What if underneath all of that judgment and constantly trying to fix yourself and make things better, there was actually a beautiful gift here.
Speaker: We are currently transiting Gene Key 18, which moves us from the shadow of judgment into the gift of integrity. And I have so much to say about this energy and how we can all utilize this in our lives and in our leadership. name is Alyssa. I am Gene Keys teacher and interpreter, if we haven't met before. And I am obsessed with these systems that help us deeply understand ourselves so that you can figure out what your genius is, so that you can figure out how you're meant to build a life and find success and work and make money and actually just have it be so in alignment with yourself. So I'm so excited and yeah, I just can't wait to get into Jinky18 today. So most people who identify with being a perfectionist genuinely think that like the perfectionist is like this person who just has such high standards and they just want it to be absolutely amazing. And so it's really hard to put our work out into the world Um, as someone who also used to identify as a perfectionist, it's very hard to put ourselves or something out into the world with our name on it, unless we feel like it is just of like the most highest integrity and like the best shit ever. Right. But what's actually happening when we're in that state where we are procrastinating from putting ourself out there from, um,
Speaker: Anytime that we are procrastinating or having a lack of movement on our goals and dreams because we're like, oh, I'm just such a perfectionist. It's not perfectionism. Perfectionism is actually the highest frequency. Okay. When we're talking about Gene Key 18 and we're talking about this, um,
Speaker: you know, if you think about like shadow, gift, and city, almost being like the spectrum, right? The spectrum of consciousness, also the spectrum of light, the dense, you know, most like shadowy, um dense, heavy, fear-based energy is going to be judgment. Perfectionism is very light. perfectionist Perfectionism and being perfect is actually this beautiful um frequency where, you know, Everything is perfect. There's nothing that you need to fix about yourself. Right. And so if you were operating from that girl, you would be putting everything out, right? Like you wouldn't have this like procrastination because genuinely, if you were, if you're vibrating from that frequency, you would be in the energy of everything as perfect as it is. talk about the shadow of judgment because this is very interesting. And when I learned this, it actually like really opened up my eyes to this frequency and I could start to notice when I was in it and it makes it that much easier to alchemize it and come out of it. Again, not that it's like a bad thing, right? um
Speaker: But 18, or if we think about gate 18 in human design, it's in the Splenic Center. And so that's all about like natural instincts, survival, right? Intuition. And it is Libra energy. And this is a very beautiful energy that wants to make corrections. So it's able to see what is going on like in society. It's able to see what's going on and it genuinely wants to make things better. This is a very beautiful energy that is really an advocate for human rights. And so any sort of like, if you have this gate 18 or jinky 18, a lot of these babes are going to be people who are, when you're embodied in the gift, right? It's like really shining a light on human rights. It wants like equality for people. It wants it wants to take old systems or old ways of doing things that um maybe like held people back or
Speaker: um weren't good, right? And it's able to alchemize it and create better systems that kind of like help the whole. um it's It's actually a very beautiful energy because it is able to see what needs to be ah improved upon, right? What can we make better? And so ultimately, like that is a great quality to have. Now, what happens is if we get stuck in the shadow of judgment, this is where we are using that energy of making things better and improving things. And we're almost like turning it into ourselves, right? And we're constantly looking at like, how can I be better? And it's coming from a place of like judgment of like, oh, I'm not good enough. Like, how can I fix myself?
Speaker: um what What do I constantly need to do to like just become better? to talk about the two ways that this shows up. But if you think about it, that's so prevalent in the spiritual, like in spirituality, right? It's so freaking prevalent. It's so prevalent in business, right? Of like, oh, I constantly need to improve myself and like make things better and blah, blah, blah. And so then we think like, oh, I'm just like, I'm just a perfectionist. Like I just want my offer to be so good that I have to continue to rewrite the copy over and over again before it's just perfect. Or like, oh, I need to
Speaker: um you know make sure that I have all of these things built out in this offer before i even talk about it, right? Or, oh, I need to have 100,000 followers before I launch this membership, right? It's like all of these things that we think are are like, oh, I'm being a perfectionist, but really we're being stuck in the shadow of judgment. So two expressions of judgment, being you know being a victim of our judgments.
Speaker: It either shows up as inferior or superior. And this has everything to do with the way that you were brought up with your caretakers, your parents, your guardians, whoever your caretakers were. So there's this thing that happens where at a certain age, right? And specifically this talks about from ages 14 to 21. From 14 to 21 is when we start to actually like make our own decisions and almost like have our own opinions on things, right? It's like when we're zero to seven, we're really being imprinted from ah the beliefs and um like the way that the world is from our family, from society, right? But when we get to the ages of 14 to 21, we start to come into our own energy And during this seven-year Saturn cycle, we really are like almost questioning authority, okay? It's a natural part of process of the process of growing up. This is natural part of becoming an adult, right? And so what happens is we are going to test our parents' boundaries. And in a healthy dynamic, okay, if your parents were healthy and integrated and had integrated their own judgments around themselves, yourself, the world, then when you question them, they're not going to take it personally. And they would allow you to have your own sense of self, right? Sense of beliefs, like questioning.
Speaker: Great example. I remember growing up... my Both of my parents grew up on farms in the Midwest. And so there was like a lot of like hunting and a lot of like hunting and eating elk or like quail or like the meat that you hunted. And I remember visiting my grandparents and I decided that like, I was like, oh, I'm a vegetarian. Like I'm going to be a vegetarian. I think I was like 14 or 15 years old.
Speaker: And um I just, you know, felt like I was like, you know, coming into my own life. personality and like I really did genuinely like have certain views and certain feelings around animals and like I didn't believe that I wanted to eat animals and so I just remember like being at my grandma's table and like everyone like all my aunts and uncles like we're all getting served like meat and I'm like oh I don't eat that like I'm a vegetarian and it was at the age where you know it's also like you're kind of doing it to push boundaries in a way um and like not get a rise out of people, but just like wanting to be your own individual person. So I just think of little things like that. It's like where you're starting to be like, oh, like, well, everyone in my, it's such a big thing in my family to eat meat, to hunt meat, right? That it's just like, they it's just to them, it's so crazy to to be a vegetarian, right? It's just so out of the norm of like what their norms are. And so I just remember that and like being like, oh, like I'm different. Like I wanna have this different value. So what happens is, and that's just kind of like a silly example, happens is when we're at this age and we're testing our parents' boundaries, right? two things So two ways this can show up.
Speaker: If when you are coming into your own from 14 to 21 and you are kind of like testing your parents' boundaries, but they are overly critical and overjudgmental to you where they don't allow you to have like your own beliefs or your own, you know, free will, right? And they're very more like strict. um then what can happen is you can adopt this like inferior complex to where you kind of just like conform and you later on in life as an adult that wasn't fully integrated. And so you're putting everyone else on a pedestal. So it's like your parents were critical to you. You weren't able to have your own beliefs or like wear what you wanted to wear or whatever. So this inferior um complex kind of comes about.
Speaker: The opposite end of this is superiority. So let's say you're like questioning your parents or you're like you're trying to have like your own, you know, beliefs and ideals and whatever. And instead of having like a healthy kind of like control on you, right? Let's just say they let you completely walk all over them and and do whatever you want. then there's what ah essentially happens is you lose trust in adults, right? Because you're doing that to test them because, but at the same time, you want them to still like rein you back in, right? Like we're still a child at this age. So it's like, we still want our parents to like do what's right for us, protect us, whatever. So like, we're going to, you know,
Speaker: we're going to challenge them. And then in a healthy dynamic, they would still hold their frame. But if they don't, and they kind of let you walk all over them, it kind of teaches you this, this feeling of like, Oh, like, I guess no one actually cares about me. I guess I'm actually not important. I can do whatever the fuck I want. Like now i I lose trust in adults. And what happens is this creates a superiority complex. So when you're an adult now, you have a very hard time trusting other adults. And it's very hard for you to work with authority. Like,
Speaker: like Any sort of authority is is very hard for people who haven't fully integrated this in themselves yet. like It's very hard for them to respect authority. And this can also, like on the extreme side of things, come out as like anger, and just like but not like a healthy amount of anger. Now, what happens is then from the shadow, okay, let's say a lot of us, and to be honest, most of us didn't have a healthy dose of this, right? Think about our parents, right? Think about your parents. And if you're a parent yourself, think about your parents, okay? And i want you to think about growing up from ages of 18 to, to ah sorry, from 14 to 21, to think about like, what was the dynamic like in your household with your parents? Like,
Speaker: Were they critical of you? Were they overjudgmental of you? Did they allow you to kind of march to the beat of your own drum? Was there absolutely no rules and no structure whatsoever, right? It's like, it was either like very rigid, somewhere in the middle, or like absolutely just like balls to the wall, do whatever the fuck you want, right? And that's kind of how this energy is going to show up in us in ah ah us as adults.
Speaker: Now, the good news is that as adults, we, of course our parents were doing the best they could, right? They were doing absolutely the best they could with the knowledge that they had, the wisdom that they had, what they were taught, right? And what they were kind of like recycling through the generations. So now as adults, it's our duty to integrate this shadow. It's our duty to look at this within ourselves and be able to alchemize this and come into the gift of integrity.
Speaker: Um, so again, the way that this can show up is like, if you're hypercritical of yourself and you feel like you are a perfectionist, it's just that you're judging yourself. You're comparing yourself to everyone else, whether again, that's in business. That's if that's other peers in that are doing business, maybe you feel like everyone else is like popping off like much faster than you. And you're like, what the fuck? Like I'm continuously pouring into my business i'm creating content and putting myself out there and it's just not happening for me there can be this energy of like also this inferiority where you're putting people on a pedestal and feeling like they have something that you don't have that you know they whatever circumstances got them to where they are and it's like you're you're putting them above you this can this can also show up by the way that we invest in in coaching or the way that we invest in mentorship or ah any anything that we invest in ourselves, right? If we're coming from a place of this inferiority, this is where we can make those kind of like tricky investments that might not actually be super aligned investments, right? Where it's like that that pain point marketing is like really tugging on us and we feel like we need this thing that this person has. It's like one path to success, it's one breakthrough that like finally will become visible and like finally we'll make all of this money in our business if we just sign up with this one mentor, right?
Speaker: that's where you can kind of check this of like, oh shit, like am I pedestalizing other people? Do I genuinely feel inferior to other people? Do I feel like other people have this thing that I don't? Because that's not true. That is not true. That's just a shadow of this. And if you're on the flip side of this, where you are a little bit more in the superiority side of things, this might feel like you never ask for help. Like this can look like, oh, I know what I'm doing. Like, um you know, almost putting yourself above other people. And so it's like very hard for you to ask for help or to get support. And again, that's the shadow of this. Like it's not, you're never going to get to where you want to go if you feel like you are above everyone else and above from learning or like, you know, um yeah, receiving help.
Speaker: So the gift is integrity and integrity, not in terms of like being honest, right? It doesn't, this has nothing to do with honesty, integrity in terms of like a a very strong structural foundation. So if we think about like, let me see if I have like a card right here.
Speaker: this card right here and see how, let's just imagine this was like a building. Do you see how this is like a structure, right? This is like a structure. And in order for like a house to be built on something, there has to be a strong foundation. There has to be a strong structure. The architecture has to be strong and sturdy and it has to be integral. And then we can build on top of that. So like that is what this gift is, is like it's looking out and seeing, okay, what can I make better? What can I fix? What can I, um you know, adjust and set the standards higher? And how can I make things better? And so instead of picking ourselves apart, right, and seeing like, oh, like I'm not pretty enough. I don't have enough followers. i
Speaker: am not smart enough. I don't have enough certifications, right? That's more of that judgment energy. It's more of like, what? No, like if I'm building my business off of these very strong foundations, what's Can I offer that is so uniquely my own genius that I can make the world a better place, right? And then also it's like, okay, maybe you do, maybe to make this foundation stronger, your business stronger, maybe there are some skills that you need to develop. Maybe there are some things that you need to learn, right? But it's coming from a very like,
Speaker: is coming from a very um positive place of like, how can I genuinely make things better for myself and others, not tearing ourselves down of like, what's wrong with me, right? Any like um more of the more of like the like shadowy aspects of ourselves of like comparison, right? of Like, oh, I don't have this i don't have this. No, how can I actually make this better? How can I actually, what can I improve upon? Right. And that's where if you invest in yourself from that place, that's that's going to be a good investment.
Speaker: Now, integrity, again, if you have this, if you have GeneKey18 or Gate18 in your halogenetic profile, you really are someone that really can look out and see in society or like in your niche or like in your whatever it is that you do to help people, how can you genuinely make the industry better? how What can you make or provide to create a very strong foundation to better things for others? So it's very much turning it from this like internal something's wrong with me to like, oh, how can I make things better for people outside of myself? And when you put all of your focus in your business or in your purpose onto that, that is where you really get movement. That is where you're really thinking about how the other person, right? You're thinking about your fractal line. Like how can I make things better? better for other people. And it takes away the comparison. It takes away the not feeling good enough because you're so in your lane of like, oh, this is what I came here to do. This is how I'm going to improve upon x Y, and Z. And it's like this little special secret formula foundation, strong foundation that no one else could create but you, right? Which is so special.
Speaker: Then we get to the highest frequency, the city, which is perfection. And perfection is when you realize nothing even needs to be fixed.
Speaker: Actually, everything is perfect as it is. Actually, everything is just a mirror to show me something that I can learn about myself that I can integrate and, you know,
Speaker: make better in myself. But again, from this perfectionist standpoint, like there is no more fixing. Like it is just like, oh, it just is like everything is perfect. Everything is beautiful. And so if you think about it, that's so freeing because everything is perfect and everything is beautiful. Like that is God. That is source. That is, that is all right. And that is you. That is me. Right.
Speaker: And so it's a very beautiful frequency. be honest, babe, you might have to let yourself be imperfect to reach perfection. Like genuinely, like that is your assignment is like, can you allow yourself to be imperfect? Literally impossible for us to think our way into clarity, right? It's impossible to think your way into clarity.
Speaker: Who am I here to serve? Like, what am I really here to do? Like, what offer do I want to create? Like, you cannot think your way into this type of clarity. You really do have to like fuck around and find out. Like you just keep refining and getting better over and over with time. So let's say there's something that you want to start, right? Maybe you want to start a podcast. maybe you want to start a YouTube, right? It's like, I can't be as good as I'm going to be on my 10th or 30th video.
Speaker: Like I can't be as good on my first video that I'm going to be on my 10th or 30th if I never make the first goddamn video, right? It's like I have to just do it and just like this is how we get better. Like everything is a skill. And so almost like the – if you think about it, almost like the anecdote to um and like and being like a perfectionist and like being so afraid that our work isn't good enough is literally – just doing It's literally things that I would change about my first YouTube video. There's literally things that I would change about this one that I can't like go back and change it. Right. And very or very early on with my podcast, um if you don't follow my podcast, i have a podcast called It's Happening For Me podcast. And i think I have about like 80-ish episodes now. And when I first started, i remember on the very first episode, I sat there and I tried to edit out every single filler word, every single like, every single um, every single pause. And it took forever to edit. And I finally put it out. And the next time I was like, there's no way that I can sit here and edit like this and have this be sustainable. And I'd rather be sustainable. I'd rather share my expression with the world, say the things I want to say and risk sounding dumb, risk sounding, um, um, right. Risk having filler words. And so from then on, I just recorded and published I did absolutely no editing, literally no editing, no cutting. So there's going to be times where I'm rambling. There's going to be times where maybe I repeat myself, but it just keeps getting better with time every single time over and over again. And
Speaker: this that is like That is the anecdote to this, to this perfectionism. is like you know like Instead of thinking about how what can I make better about myself, like what is wrong with me? How can I fix myself before I'm like packaged into this perfect thing that I can give to the world? Instead, it's like, no, what do I want to genuinely make better in the world? I genuinely want people to realize that there's no one path to success. I want you to realize that you have an innate genius within you that only you can do. There are skills and these qualities that you have and this unique mission that you're here to do and to bring to your fractal line that no one else can do in your way. And it's not going to look like this one pathway to success. And so I'm willing to look dumb and to embarrass myself and to be cringe and to use filler words and ramble in order to get the experience of just like putting my message out there so that I can help people like you. and yeah, just like share this knowledge and this wisdom and really show people we can do whatever we want, literally whatever we want.
Speaker: It just takes courage fucking around and finding out and aligning to our own genius to make it happen. So instead of judging yourself, obsessing, trying to make something perfect and then putting it out there, i want you to create, put it out there, assess what can be better.
Speaker: How can I fix this? Go and create again and then put more stuff out there and then just keep doing it again. That is the artist way. That is the creative way. like That is the only way that we're going to express ourselves because people need your magic. OK.
Speaker: OK. And I want to leave you with a couple of questions that you can ask yourself right now. And if you actually sit down and ask yourself these questions, these will be life changing. OK. Number one, where am I withholding something because it isn't perfect yet?
Speaker: Where am I withholding something because it isn't perfect yet? Is there like, is there something you want to create? Is there something that you want to, some art piece you want to do? Is there um a blog that you've written? Maybe you want to start Substack. Maybe you've already written Substacks, but you're cringe or scared to put them out.
Speaker: Like, where can you just do it Um, what am I constantly criticizing that I could actually take action on to improve? So what is something about yourself that you are constantly criticizing, but you're not actually doing anything about it, right? For me, I'll say my fitness journey. I have started to get really tight again on my fitness journey because I'm constantly, i was constantly criticizing myself for like not having good energy, for feeling tired, feeling sluggish, um,
Speaker: not loving how my clothes are fitting on my body. So what did I do? i finally got back on the fitness journey path. What am I judging in someone else that might be showing me something about myself? This is a really good one because sometimes you will often find that the most judgmental people are usually very critical of themselves. And I'm sure you can attest to this, right? Like if you find yourself being judgmental towards other people, like what is that showing you about yourself? What is that showing you about it? Maybe you see someone this is something that women get judged on very commonly is like the way that they dress right a lot of a lot of times when um people men and women are dressed like really nice right or they have a really cool style oftentimes people who are a little bit more um mediocre let's say might judge them like wow like your style is like where are you going right like where do you have to go to wear that but really maybe that person that's judging them for that style
Speaker: genuinely wishes that they could express themselves more in their own style, right? Oh, and this is a good one. What is actually mine to correct and what isn't mine to fix? What is actually mine to correct and what isn't mine to fix? Sometimes there's certain things about you that you don't need to fix.
Speaker: Right. It's this own critical judgment that makes you feel like, again, from comparing yourself to others that you're not pretty enough or you're not skinny enough or you don't have enough money or you don't have, you know, the nicest car, whatever. It's like, do you actually need to fix that about yourself or do you just need to change the way that you view yourself? Because like, what is actually worth important? Like, what is important enough to actually work on and change? And what do you not need to change about yourself?
Speaker: Okay, I hope this was helpful. If you have gene key or gate 18, let me know in the comments below. I would love to know, love to know how you resonate with this. Even if you don't, I would love to know if you resonate more with the inferior or superior complex. um Yeah, I'm just so curious. I love like gathering data and seeing how everyone resonates with this. And if you would love to have your genius or prosperity decoded, be sure to follow me on Instagram and I'll put all the links in the show notes, but I also offer these insane decodes where I decode your profile to teach you about yourself. So I would love to serve you. This was interesting. Be sure to like and follow for more. And yeah, I can't wait to see you again. Okay.
Speaker: Bye-bye.
