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Episode 20: Honoring the Pause, Embracing the Process
23 Plays1 year ago
In this deeply personal episode, I return to the mic after a month-long pause and share what life has been teaching me about sacred self love. From the physical shifts of perimenopause to unexpected challenges like losing electricity in my studio, this season has been a whirlwind of surrender and reflection. 🌬️✨
I talk about the beauty and chaos of lychee season, the transformative energy of the Scorpio full moon, and how stepping away from social media helped me reconnect with myself more fully. We explore how overstimulation and constant consumption can cloud our inner wisdom—and what it means to truly come home to ourselves.
This episode is a gentle reminder that healing isn’t linear, and sometimes the most sacred act of love is simply allowing yourself to be.
💗 Come sit with me. Let’s walk the spiral together.
Work with me: www.quantumrosehealing.com
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Transcript
Valerie's Return and Reflections
00:00:05
Valerie Vazquez
Aloha and welcome to Sacred Self Love. I am your host and guide, Valerie Vasquez. And oh my gosh, I did not realize it has been a month since I've recorded an episode. And I am sorry.
00:00:20
Valerie Vazquez
i just wanted to say that because I do feel... that when I do these episodes, I know that those of you that listen, that reach out, it touches your heart and it also touches my heart that you are listening to these messages that come through from what I've learned walking this path every day into expanding my own consciousness and to really embracing what it means to walk upon this earth in this current timeline with all that's going on and all that we are experiencing.
Impact of Weather on Local Agriculture
00:01:06
Valerie Vazquez
And so I really just wanted to do a little catch up and kind of talk a little bit about what i went through over this last month.
00:01:18
Valerie Vazquez
You know, first of all, the my temple space, i like to call it, this little... healing holly that I have out in the lychee orchard, which is a lot of times why you hear birds in the background, maybe chickens, cows, whatever you may hear. um The power actually went out and I didn't really have a way to record the podcast I mean I could have brought the equipment into my main house but for me it was kind of like one of those signs that was just like give yourself permission to really take a break right now ah how we have a lychee orchard and on the last episode I believe I told you all that we were stepping into lychee season and we did
00:02:12
Valerie Vazquez
did And lychee season and everyone else's lychee season is very small this year because we went through about a three-month period without much
Supporting Local Farmers
00:02:25
Valerie Vazquez
rain. And so everything just is so much different with the trees, with the fruit.
00:02:33
Valerie Vazquez
you know, there's... some farms that are already done with the lychee season and it is only May 22nd right now and lychee season usually is until July maybe a little beyond um and just some farms this year really don't have much fruit and we are one of those we we do have some and we started the season off kind of strong and now it looks like it's going to be
00:03:04
Valerie Vazquez
dwindling really quickly. So, you know, it's, it really is an ode to Mother Nature to Gaia at we have really no control over how she operates, you know, the the weather patterns and just what comes to life or what doesn't.
00:03:31
Valerie Vazquez
And um this time has really just shown us also how important it is to support local farmers and to understand how precious it is that if they do have crops that are, you know, coming through, if they do have whatever it is they have, the time and effort they put in isn't always, you know, going to bring bring them the
00:04:04
Valerie Vazquez
money and the energy that they've put in. So it's, it's a delicate balance. And So yeah, with the Laiji season going, we we were all like picking and going to the roadside. And honestly, I could really feel myself not being able to do all of that physically.
00:04:29
Valerie Vazquez
and so that kind of fizzled for me pretty quickly. I was able to participate some.
Journey Through Perimenopause
00:04:35
Valerie Vazquez
But um yeah, i'm and another thing that has really been present Over this last month is my journey into perimenopause and how many symptoms really started to surface and how much I was really in denial that this was really happening to me and to my body.
00:05:07
Valerie Vazquez
And I was having really... like feelings that I haven't experienced in years. And it was
00:05:21
Valerie Vazquez
hard for me to have all of these physical symptoms coming through, you know, hot flashes, especially at night, which I'm going to just say this real quick. My husband got me this bed jet. I don't know if I hide mentioned it on a previous episode, but it basically like um blows air into the sheet on top of you as you're, you know, laying down and it cools you off in bed.
00:05:53
Valerie Vazquez
I believe that it also will heat up and things like that as well. But whoo, it's been a lifesaver for me. um The bed jet. I'm so grateful that my husband just was like, I'm getting this for you.
00:06:05
Valerie Vazquez
And it has helped me so much at night. I am, wow. um So the hot flashes, was also having so many digestive issues.
00:06:18
Valerie Vazquez
And I was really struggling for a while. And I just had to tap into my intuition into my inner knowing and I kept getting this message of like, stop eating meat, or like you really need to go back to eating vegetables and fruits and fiber and just lots of it and and give yourself a break with meat.
00:06:47
Valerie Vazquez
And, and I was like, Okay, I'm gonna listen to this. And within days, my digestion was already, i things were moving along and I was already feeling better.
Health and Lifestyle Changes
00:06:58
Valerie Vazquez
You know, I already had some things come up with my blood work that was showing that my liver enzymes were elevated. So I knew i needed to also cut back some of the meat that I was eating because there are things like fatty liver disease that have run in my genetics and i know that I just need to pay attention to that, especially because i was having so many different physical symptoms.
00:07:34
Valerie Vazquez
So, That was another reason I was taking a pause is because I was going to a naturopathic doctor and kind of working through these different symptoms from perimenopause and also with my liver.
00:07:49
Valerie Vazquez
And I also had a breast ultrasound just because, you know, after having an explant a couple years ago, i don't know what's normal and what's not normal in my breasts. And I was having some symptoms with,
00:08:03
Valerie Vazquez
some pain and swelling. Everything is good. i i am got the clear that there's nothing going on there. So, yeah, I just, I really...
00:08:16
Valerie Vazquez
became in tune with my body more over this last month and all of the things that are going on with it, with perimenopause and with this liver thing. and I just was like, you know, open to spirit giving me messages about what I could do to support myself during this time.
00:08:38
Valerie Vazquez
And so Herbs, if you've listened to other episodes, herbs are something that I'm very interested in. And I really love the natural medicine that comes along with these plant allies that we have, these beautiful herbs. And i went over to Kona and went B-Chi Apothecary, which I've been in before. And when I first walked in, I was like,
00:09:08
Valerie Vazquez
i I just was like, this is my dream to have this apothecary. And she made me up a root tea blend for the symptoms I was experiencing with perimenopause. And so I'm drinking this tea two times a day and I am feeling so much better. And I'm just really listening to ways to support myself.
00:09:34
Valerie Vazquez
And I'm also realizing with the feelings that I'm having with the hormone fluctuations, it's like, i am feeling, and I really, i really don't her particularly love to use this word, but I have been feeling kind of an anxiety that I haven't felt, like I said earlier in the episode, that I haven't felt in so long.
00:10:06
Valerie Vazquez
And that's with me waking up and doing breath work and living on a farm and and the ways in which my life is, I've really allowed myself to live a more peaceful life here than I ever have before.
00:10:25
Valerie Vazquez
I just had to pause the episode because Jimmy was outside meowing so much that he wanted to come in and be a part of the podcast. So I had to pause it. So I, what I was saying was now he's in my lap and I hope he doesn't step on my computer.
00:10:43
Valerie Vazquez
So I have created this lifestyle, co-created this lifestyle where I can be more more able to be slower and and not have as many things that would once have made me anxious, you know.
00:11:08
Valerie Vazquez
So another thing that came through was just really getting back on the yoga mat every day which is you know, what really helped me in the very beginning of my journey was that I got on the yoga mat every day for six months straight, no matter what.
00:11:32
Valerie Vazquez
And so now I'm back on the yoga mat daily. And I'm realizing that during this time when my body is going through so many different changes, I'm going to have to give myself more sacred self love. Imagine that.
00:11:50
Valerie Vazquez
When we go through these big changes in our bodies, in our lives, it's so important to realize that it is necessary to honor ourselves and take care of ourselves.
00:12:06
Valerie Vazquez
And I know that I'm not going to be in this transition for the rest of my life. But for now, it is in incredibly important that I do all of the things to support my body through this time for myself and for those around me. Let's be honest, like,
00:12:24
Valerie Vazquez
who I don't know about you
Exploring Relationship Dynamics
00:12:27
Valerie Vazquez
all. we That Scorpio moon that we experienced, that full moon in Scorpio, it was intense.
00:12:37
Valerie Vazquez
That coupled with perimenopause and Chad and I almost got a divorce. I'm kidding. We did not. But it was heavy, especially because, y'all, I'm really kidding. We didn't almost get a divorce. We just had some really deep things come up to look at.
00:12:55
Valerie Vazquez
And it was very intense. And um that coupled with perimenopause. And my Venus is also in Scorpio. So it was like that moon, yeah.
00:13:10
Valerie Vazquez
whoa, that was another thing that was very intense over this, you know, the course of this last month. And I just really had to be with it and to really look at the parts of, you know, what I was bringing into the relationship that was still causing us to have these moments of, you know,
00:13:39
Valerie Vazquez
trauma responses that were happening, you know, these um
00:13:45
Valerie Vazquez
these just like painful things that we still will do to each other. And so what really came up for me was that, and I've talked about this in previous episodes, this just feeling of like this anger and resentment that will come up about just little things that are like, well, he does this differently than I do.
00:14:11
Valerie Vazquez
You know, he doesn't wash the dish the way I would wash it. He doesn't put the hand towel back the way I... And I just really realized that on his end, he would... He verbally says things out loud to me, like that controlling aspect.
00:14:30
Valerie Vazquez
And I will just like keep it inside for a long time until I just kind of like explode. And I was really looking at that and going... We are literally a sacred mirror to one another.
00:14:46
Valerie Vazquez
and the things that he does to me, i do to him. and I really, really had to drop in and say, i don't want to feel this anymore. Like, I don't want to do this.
00:14:58
Valerie Vazquez
So it's my responsibility to each time i see something I don't like that he does, i just have to remind myself he is his own person.
00:15:14
Valerie Vazquez
I do not want to change him to fit into what I think is best because that will never fucking happen ever. And we do not want to be each other's parents.
00:15:29
Valerie Vazquez
we We literally just cannot, cannot mold someone else into what we want them to be. it's not possible. I mean, yeah, sure.
00:15:44
Valerie Vazquez
They can, they can like submit to you or you to them and just want to like walk around on eggshells so that you don't, you know, explode on them or they explode on you or you have these problems.
00:16:02
Valerie Vazquez
But that's not, that's not a way to be in relationship. And I'm just, so extremely grateful for the relationship that I have with Chad. It has evolved so much, but there are still these moments when we are walking through this path and when we have these astrological events that take place, these different moon cycles, these different placements where the planets are, you know, what we're going through in our own chart, all of these things that go on. If we are out, I've said this so many times, if we are aware of what we're walking through
00:16:43
Valerie Vazquez
in the times that we're walking through the intensity, we can know that, okay, this makes sense why these things are coming up right now. And it is always an opportunity. So I feel like I've had a lot of opportunities over this last month to really examine the parts of me that I'm holding myself back on because i am wanting My ego is wanting to change Chad in some way or anybody else that I'm around. And I want them to do what I do.
00:17:18
Valerie Vazquez
Yeah, it's just not possible.
Energy Shifts and Healing
00:17:20
Valerie Vazquez
Every single one of us have our journeys.
00:17:26
Valerie Vazquez
All of our journeys are unique and they're all beautiful. And I've also had over the last month a lot of very magical moments, you know, when when I can come back up and out of that, like that dark space where like you're you're walking through a portal And then once you make it through, there's this upgrade that happens.
00:17:51
Valerie Vazquez
And i don't know about for you all, but for me, i have physical body symptoms pretty much every time i walk through something really big.
00:18:04
Valerie Vazquez
i have something that comes up within my body. and I was experiencing you know some lower back pain and some shoulder pain and neck pain and and headaches, which I never get headaches, but I realized that that is just like the body's a ascension basically. So what happens is when you shed layers,
00:18:34
Valerie Vazquez
And you are healing parts of you and your energy centers, like your heart center is expanding even more because you have made the choice to go to love instead of blame or victim.
00:18:50
Valerie Vazquez
your frequency, it basically is is going higher, you know? And so in order for your body to house that, there has to be some physical ascension symptoms. So I also experienced that over the last month.
00:19:07
Valerie Vazquez
And yeah, I just, i also, I keep going because I know it's been like a whole month, but I also had this thing where I took a break from social media. I actually deleted my TikTok account, which it just was this message I'd been getting for so long that I really needed to delete this account.
00:19:34
Valerie Vazquez
And so I did. And my ego was like, oh, but you have the most followers on your TikTok account of any of your social media platforms.
00:19:46
Valerie Vazquez
How can you delete it? And I was like, well, my higher self is just like, Because followers don't matter. It doesn't matter how many follow followers you have.
00:19:59
Valerie Vazquez
If you have outgrown something and your messages no longer apply to this, you know, these followers that you have, then, you know, maybe it's time to move on.
00:20:14
Valerie Vazquez
And honestly, I'm just really not a big fan of social media. I don't. took the break from Instagram for like a week because I, if you've listened to previous episodes, you know, i do this very frequently. I, when I start feeling the ick from social media or that I'm just consuming too much, I just say, nope, we're taking a break.
00:20:42
Valerie Vazquez
So I took a week off and then I came back on I literally went into
00:20:52
Valerie Vazquez
like a fight or flight stage or, so you know, survival trauma response, what ah however you want to label that.
Critique on Radical Monogamy
00:21:00
Valerie Vazquez
Because i don't know if you all are fans of follow, know Aubrey Marcus, Aubrey and Vailana Marcus.
00:21:11
Valerie Vazquez
I have been following Aubrey since pretty much like right after I had my awakening. And I've really looked up to him and looked up to him. And then when he got married and like the sacred union that they said that they created together and all of this. And, um, they just recently released a podcast episode where they had talked about that the last two years they actually were in, um,
00:21:48
Valerie Vazquez
relationship with a younger girl that he said God told him you go on to a dating app and to swipe through and find this special person and anyway really was it kind of threw me first off I definitely I'll admit it I was being very judgmental towards the whole situation.
00:22:23
Valerie Vazquez
i was being very judgmental towards the situation because I did not love that
00:22:33
Valerie Vazquez
they named it radical monogamy. I didn't love that they had this, there's,
00:22:42
Valerie Vazquez
I don't know what he is, this spiritual counselor, doctor, whoever was on with him, like advising them. I didn't, all of these things that I saw, I was just like, whoa, this is wrong in so many ways that someone that's so influential can come on and, and like use this spiritual jargon, say,
00:23:09
Valerie Vazquez
word salad to make this all seem like it's okay. And here's the thing. It's okay for them to do whatever they want to do. They're consenting adults.
00:23:20
Valerie Vazquez
This is their journey. This is their path. You know, they really feel like this is their, know, this is what's helping them evolve and For me, though, i was sitting there like, are you serious? Like, it's such a letdown when you personally are in and a committed sacred union with another.
00:23:46
Valerie Vazquez
And you're like, yes, these people are doing it. We can do this. Because so many times i was like, my ego is like, I can't do this marriage. Like, I'm having to face parts of myself that just hurt too much. And like, no, i want I want everything to be the way it is now. Like, I want him to do the healing work like I do the healing work. I want him to do all, you know, and it just, I believe that's what really came up for me is that I believed these two people with all their money and all their status and all these different ways to heal and also were facilitating healing groups for people that had sacred union together. Mm-hmm.
00:24:34
Valerie Vazquez
And yeah, i just so I was just so disappointed. And I was literally like, oh my gosh, like this is what I, first thing I come on the social media and I see this, and it is like this huge thing that's going on. And I mean, like they are getting really, really annihilated on social media from this.
00:24:55
Valerie Vazquez
And at this point, it's been several days. So like, I'm no longer thinking of really thinking a lot about it. I am talking about it now because that that was also something that when you go onto social media and you're consuming things it will affect you like what's happening in Gaza right now and so I just want to say that recognize if you are being affected by things, like tap in and see, is this something that is this something that is affecting me? Is this something that is like repeating in my mind? Is this something that now I'm talking to other people about?
Media Consumption and Mental Health
00:25:39
Valerie Vazquez
And is this something that I'm reposting a lot and I'm feeling like I'm in it? And while I do believe it is important to
00:25:51
Valerie Vazquez
you know, like have a stand on things and us not be completely blind to what's happening and and not just pretend that, well, everything is happening for a reason and it'll all work itself out.
00:26:10
Valerie Vazquez
And i know that that to be true, but also
00:26:16
Valerie Vazquez
When we learn of things like what's happening in Gaza with the the children starving, the people starving because they're blockading the food from coming in, when we know those things, we can send out healing prayers and love and actually like be able to really sit there in this time and just be like, as a mother, i cannot even imagine not being able to have food for my children, for my babies.
00:26:51
Valerie Vazquez
Like, what does that feel like as a mother? and I can just like have whatever emotions come through for me and I can release that and I can send love and and get involved in the ways that I can get involved.
00:27:09
Valerie Vazquez
But it is really also, let's be mindful of how much we are consuming and how much it's affecting us.
00:27:23
Valerie Vazquez
We're not supposed to be in a state of triggering so much. It raises our cortisol. It It really is not good for our bodies, and especially if you're in this age range that I'm in where that's perimenopause, menopause, actually any age range where you are consuming more social media than you are creating. And I don't even mean creating on social media. I mean creating whatever it is in your home, whether it's a meal, whether it's, you know,
00:28:03
Valerie Vazquez
flower arrangement or creating a ah business or creating a poem or a song or a whatever, like if our art or music or any of these other things, like if you're consuming more than you're creating, then you're probably in some way, yeah, harming your yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. So If you've never taken a break from social media, I highly recommend it.
00:28:35
Valerie Vazquez
Just get through the fear that you're going to lose followers or that you're going to miss out on something or that you're not going to like people's posts that normally you like or any of the fears. Like sit with it. Recognize it.
00:28:51
Valerie Vazquez
Take a day off, a half a day off. work up to a week, work up to a month. Like this is part of like allowing yourself to not have so much stimulus.
00:29:04
Valerie Vazquez
It isn't your responsibility to share every single reel that comes up with everyone to try to help them understand what healing is. i'm i'm talking to myself because I've done this. And it's not our responsibilities to affect the world in only that way.
00:29:30
Valerie Vazquez
And i promise you, if you just put your phone down and go into nature and not have to share
00:29:43
Valerie Vazquez
After a few days, you're going to start experiencing some extreme magical shit. And I'm not saying that you can't do that being on social media, but there's just like, as soon as your brain stops thinking about the funny reel or the atrocities that are happening or just all of the crap that we get thrown at us constantly,
00:30:11
Valerie Vazquez
You're going to have a different resonance and you're going to have more like downloads that can come through. You're going to be much more connected to your intuition.
00:30:22
Valerie Vazquez
There's just going to be this really different frequency that you're going to be able to be in when you can stop the consumption, when you can stop the addiction to every time you are bored, you pick up your phone and sit there and scroll.
00:30:40
Valerie Vazquez
o yeah i'm I'm calling myself out and I'm calling everyone else out because like honestly, we really do need to take some time away from our phones and and our Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, blah, blah, blah, YouTube, all the things that are out there and come back into the sacredness of life tap back into nature.
00:31:10
Valerie Vazquez
Nature is literally the best healer for us. So thank you all for just letting me spin off today and check in with you all.
00:31:24
Valerie Vazquez
I also just had, I keep saying I also, I also, hu i keep, these things keep coming through, like to tell you all, I am really going to have to face whether or not I continue this podcast on past, I think, June or so.
00:31:46
Valerie Vazquez
Because to do this podcast, I obviously have to pay for the platform to put it out. And I'm currently, i don't really have any offerings. I i do distance healings and i can do in-person healings.
00:32:06
Valerie Vazquez
But as far as any other offerings, i don't really have anything out there that is bringing me income in right now. i'm I'm still in my own growth phase for what that is. And I've not tried to push it to the point where I'm forcing something.
00:32:25
Valerie Vazquez
And so in saying all of that, I don't know if I'm going to invest in producing this podcast past June just because it doesn't make a lot of sense financially and that's just the truth.
00:32:49
Valerie Vazquez
So I'm just going to want to see how this plays out and Yeah, that's that's just the truth of it.
00:33:00
Valerie Vazquez
i um Sometimes we start a project thinking that that's what you know we need to do or we're supposed to do And then it turns out that it you that might not be the case.
00:33:21
Valerie Vazquez
So I don't know. We're going to see.
Future of the Podcast
00:33:24
Valerie Vazquez
Thanks for supporting those of you that do and I'm sorry it's been a month. I really appreciate you taking the time to listen and to just allow me to share my journey, what comes up for me as I'm so still moving through this life, this healing process, this devotion that I have myself,
00:33:54
Valerie Vazquez
myself to my life, my family, my, the goddess, the
00:34:04
Valerie Vazquez
wonderful Mother Earth, tough to just all things sacred. And yeah, I appreciate you all being here and drop me a comment that you listened, or if there was anything that I shared that
00:34:24
Valerie Vazquez
you know, helped you along in any way. So I'm just sending you all so much love. And i won't go a whole month this time.