Transcript
Speaker: And then one of you has to introduce us. Derek, you can't just do it. You do it. You do it. No, that's bullshit. You the first word. No, I basically said not it just now.
Speaker: I've been doing the introductions the last few weeks and it causes nothing but frustration. All right, I'll do it. Thanks, Jack. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to, what is it?
Speaker: Getting Doug with High? Chamber of Reason. Yeah. Oh, Chamber of Reason. Today I'm interviewing three beautiful bachelors. ah We'll be reading a Google Doc against our will.
Speaker: And it's going to be a good one. ah Everybody, where is it? What's going on today, man? that's that's almost ah That's almost perfect. It's a lot better than how we do it normally. I want i want to be clear that he's using the word bachelor and sort of the traditional like unmarried type. We can still have girlfriends.
Speaker: Yeah, we're unmarried bachelors, but we still have we're we're going steady. and We can still go steady. And that's like a high honor amongst girls, is to say, yeah I'm going steady with a bachelor right now.
Speaker: I just hooked up with a bachelor. Yeah. What are lady bachelors called? Bachelorette. That was easy. They tend to be on TV, yeah. Yeah. That's a brilliant introduction. Getting Doug with high, that...
Speaker: That brought me back. Have you guys seen the one where Jack Black goes on there and he does his safe word to his wife? Yeah. you what was his wife doing that was so dangerous or or kind of icky him? No, his wife he needed his wife to get him out of there because he knew in advance that Doug was going to give him bad vibes and he was going to start having a bad trip.
Speaker: And then so he said, of fruit. But then Doug made him sit for the rest of the episode after he said his safe word. Doug doesn't respect safe words when he's baked. Yeah, he doesn't mince safe words. That was like a glitch in the time podcast timeline matrix because there was that moment when like, who is it? Like John Mulaney went on Theo Vaughn or something. I remember everybody was like, whoa, kind of like mainstream and podcast is mixing. Yes.
Speaker: But that... 10 years ago when Jack Black went and had a panic attack off the weed. Off the nugs. Yeah. Not to do consensual non-consent with Doug.
Speaker: Yeah, doing that with Doug. Yeah, it wouldn't be good. He wouldn't respect that moment when I kind of ceased to be into it. Yeah, it's easy to practice that kind of stuff by just having irrelevant, maybe five or six irrelevant safe words before the ultimate, which you kind of have to, the safe words have to pass the vibe check.
Speaker: you know Do you guys have safe words for podcast appearances or sex? What what is Jack Black's safe word? think he says watermelon or mango or some other silly fruit.
Speaker: Because you wouldn't normally say that during sex or a podcast? Well, if the podcast riff is getting uncomfortable or if um or if you're simply just having a bad trip, you might just say your safe word. Oh, you shouldn't say watermelon. That's what Matthew's asking. Okay.
Speaker: so what would your safe word be that you wouldn't normally riff about because you don't want to accidentally say it you don't want to you don't want to riff about it is that what you said you're being really violent right now man yeah it's a normal uh uh i don't know why i feel i guess butset i guess i feel like we could probably riff about watermelons for a while Derek, you are you're a boundary pusher in podcast, Derek. If we had safe words, I feel like I would constantly be saying mine when you just ask these interrogative questions.
Speaker: Figure out the rift before you even contribute. if you're If your safe word is a fruit, I would probably try to talk about fruit. But if it's something really fucked up, I wouldn't try to talk about it.
Speaker: And remind me not to do consensual non-consent with Derek. Yeah. Okay. Don't bother. What else happened on that show, Getting Dug? I feel like David Cross did a funny bit. He exited the studio in a huff, in an ironic huff, only to come back. That's good.
Speaker: That guy's fairly liberal, huh? David Cross? Yeah. I'd have to look at his donations to really know because a lot of people present liberal, but then when they go jiu-jitsu gym in the locker room, that's where they really let it out. Yeah. David Cross said a few offensive jiu-jitsu words back in his ah early aughts ah parties. I think you can i think that's that's well documented that he does locker room funny locker room talk to some, but to others it just doesn't pass the vibe check.
Speaker: u I mean, there should be a safe word for locker room talk. Just like you can't be talking about our mutual girlfriends. It's like the opposite of a safe word. A word that you can say that lets everybody know that anything's on the table.
Speaker: Yeah, which is its own kind of safe word. Was Carlin ever on getting Doug Vicon? Yeah, he had like a really beautiful like 30 minute long monologue about death. It was like a poem.
Speaker: And he freestyled for the other 30 minutes. Yeah. If George Carlin could... who Okay, Dream Freestyle Blunt Rotation. Who is it? Carlin for you? George Carlin. Carlin. Carlin Cypher. Socrates. Socrates. and George Carlin, some of his old college buddies.
Speaker: would nice Oh, Carlin's friends? Carlin's old college friends. when Back when he was a frosh. Carlin, you know who else would be good? is um Robin Williams.
Speaker: Or Coco the Gorilla on a cypher. Who's that? That's ah Robin Williams and his close friend, Coco. She was a signing gorilla. Well, that's like an ally to Robin Williams, right?
Speaker: Coco loved Robin. A lot of rappers need allies. Do you think we would hear a sound if we put the three of them in a circle? Carlin, Coco, and um Robin right now, as they are now.
Speaker: Would there be like like a buzzing or like a... Would their three corpses, if they were arranged together, make a noise? Make a noise that is podcastable.
Speaker: I imagine corpses at a certain point of decay kind of like emit like a whistle. they have They're porous somewhat, and air is escaping. Gas. Yeah, if it's bones, that's the beginning of a flute.
Speaker: You can definitely, that you know how the hip has a hole in it? kind of ah Yeah, I bet. And just the xylophone nature of bones, I feel like it's easy. If you drag one rotting corpse against another that's fully bone, you might get a bit of a xylophone sound.
Speaker: Are there rocks falling on these bones? Are there rocks falling? Are they like in a washing machine or is there anything happening to them? They have to be adjusted. Maybe they're, yeah, just like in ah in a garment factory, just moving lazily. That sounds nice. Where do folks rap these days?
Speaker: Um... There we go. Now we're really questioning things, right? Where do raps happen? It happened in abandoned warehouses, but why? Is it just because that's the easiest crime to commit on camera is loitering or trespassing? What do you what ah what abandoned warehouse are you referencing? You know, like a Cypher or an Eminem rap. I feel like he's usually just like in ah in a sort of...
Speaker: Maybe not abandoned warehouse. What do i want to say? An empty a basement, something musty. Parking garage. Parking garage. yeah Yeah, I don't think it's abandoned. I think it's owned by the rapping company or whoever put put on the event.
Speaker: It's probably because if they did it on the street, I mean, they encounter so many people who like everything except rap and country, and they get a lot of complaints. Safe words, yeah.
Speaker: A lot of safe words. You say safe words when you encounter a rapper on the street? okay Oh my God. You walk up to Busta Rhymes and you say pineapple. a Pineapple, pineapple, pineapple. just start apologizing like crazy. Yeah.
Speaker: Rappers are technically just ah only doing that because that there's implied consent. They're only kind of viciously talking about ah rhymes rhymes. They discuss rhymes. Most most of the time. Well, when you say a safe word next to a rapper, it's kind of like throwing an extra ball into the juggler's hands.
Speaker: Right. They'll be able to rhyme it, but it willll be it it'll throw them off for a second. Yeah. In BDSM circles, it's not polite to incorporate the safe word into dirty talk and nullify it. Play the reverse card. You're not supposed to do that.
Speaker: What else can you not do in BDSM? ah No guns. Vanilla. Guns? No guns. Can't die of old age. It's frowned upon. Yeah. Yeah, if you get old, you gotta stick around. Or you gotta go out in a car accident.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Natural causes. What do you think the oldest person is to go out in a car accident? Probably pretty fucking old, huh? Got to be as old as the oldest person ever lived, if not close.
Speaker: Yeah, definitely some centenarians went out in the RAV4. Yeah. There's always these old people who kind of innocently like plow down like a crowd just because they, what, they're hostile? Or theyre they become more hostile as they age?
Speaker: Or worse at driving? They forget. They forget to avoid the crowds. Whoops, I thought i was playing a mobile game. i started going for points. Maybe something like that. lot these old people are kind of deluded with the ai Facebook shit, so they probably just thought it was another one of their posts, their visions. They thought they were scrolling? That's what you're saying?
Speaker: Yeah, they saw the faces of the crowd going by and they were back on the timeline. Yeah, they thought they were scrolling through a crowd of their friends from college. Old youngsters. What's with you with friends from college today? Yeah, what the fuck? Derek, your attitude is unbelievable, man. What do what do you mean? Well, I just feel like there's something to this. did you Did you see a friend from college recently? I wasn't the last guy to bring up friends from college. I was the, I, Matthew Golden, brought up friends from college. You're like an old centurion driving right now. We all just are faces that are melting together to you.
Speaker: You can't process that we're all distinct. It's hard for me to process that you guys are distinct, I guess. Yeah. I guess I recently, I'm the most recent college graduate, so it's fresh on my mind. And English major, by the way. Congratulations, by the way.
Speaker: Thank you. Yeah, yeah, In college, ah you you ever overhear your you ever get sex-iled and then you overhear your roommates banging? You know about this? Sex-iled means someone's put a sock on the door and you can't come in?
Speaker: That's similar. I think sexile. Yeah, that's part of it. I think another is get out of the room that we're your third wheeling in right now so that we can so that we can make love. Is there a safe word that you can say that you can get back in the room?
Speaker: What is with you, Derek, and bringing up safe words and consensual non-consent this whole podcast? Are safe words part of consensual non-consent? Yes. Is it okay to just never bring up consensual non-consent again?
Speaker: Can that be my safe word that I just don't think, I don't like, I don't like podcasting about that? ah can't podcast about it. There's been a lot of words and phrases today that have been like taking me aback in my tracks in terms of just understanding.
Speaker: Can I take it back about nine minutes? I think, Pierce, you said, God, you said a word that shook me to my core. Really? It was like inter-interrogatory.
Speaker: Yeah. Oh, interrogative. Yeah. Interrogatory. does anybody Did anybody else hear that for the first time in that moment? I might have heard it for the first time. But you've read it? I've read it. I just learned... I don't know how to pronounce words because I learned them from reading, you know? You're being so coy about that You can be proud of that.
Speaker: i think I think that's kind of like the real name of a question mark. A question mark is kind of like the simpletons, like common people's term for that that mark. Yeah. What? Do you guys like when people... um guys like when people say ah that they enjoyed something or they're they're recalling a memory where they were kind of confused about something? Like, let's say they saw The Lion King on Broadway and they said, OK, so I guess it's just people in masks? Question mark.
Speaker: Do you guys like when people throw a question mark into their memories like that? Do I like talking to people that have seen The Lion King on Broadway? not But do you, that's a good, that's a better question. Do you guys like those conversations where they bring up Rafiki's mask? I like when people talk that way. It's nice.
Speaker: It is kind of easy, because we do have thoughts like that, you know? When people see a movie and they're like, I can't tell what I thought about it, i I have to fight the urge to be like, well, you should always know what you think about something.
Speaker: It's wrong to not know. It's your mind. You're talking. This is an opportunity for you to discover what you think and tentatively put some thoughts out there. It's okay to be wrong about what you think.
Speaker: True. Enough bullshit. let's Let's get into this, right? i want to hear i want to I want to hear what Jack thinks about all these these questions that I've gathered. All fucking around enough Enough of the bullshit, boring part of the podcast that we usually do for the first 45 minutes.
Speaker: I mean, we we did like sort of a a wellness check or whatever, and nobody has like really any issues. Like we're just like goofing around. Like if one of you guys had something really fucked up going on in your life, you'd probably bring it up right at the beginning of this podcast, and we would all deal with that issue.
Speaker: But since we're all fine, we should just go on to the subject matter. Does anybody need help? Should we just clear that up? does anyone need... We're okay? Is anyone a broken man? Let's all say on three who we think needs help of the four of us.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, I feel disadvantaged because I'm in my car right now. Okay. you Oh, that's a nice hint. That's a nice hint. Okay, ready? so Ready? On three. Okay. One, two, three. Yeah. Derek needs help. Derek needs a lot of help right now. think Jack, he's in his car and is therefore disadvantaged. Yeah.
Speaker: I could use some help with this car. If the tsunami hits, I feel like Jack has an advantage. Say what? The big one. The big so the big new york the big Manhattan met tsunami. Oh yeah, you would just float.
Speaker: Yeah, you'd float and drive away. yeah and we've all seen Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, right? Part of it. i don't know what that is. Isn't that a song or something? It's a song and a film.
Speaker: Hey, how about this? I'll read this one. whoa And I'll drop it in the chat. this is from This is from mindfulness, okay? The mindfulness subreddit. Our mindfulness, we would call that.
Speaker: The title of this post is, The Power of Positive Thinking, Real or Overhyped? I've read success stories of folks claiming that their positive thoughts attract good things, but I can't help but wonder if there's more to it.
Speaker: Have you ever experienced any concrete changes by adopting a positive mindset? Did things magically fall into place, or was it a series of intentional actions that led to results?
Speaker: Derek, good choice picking this question. I feel like it's very joy tactics coded. Have you guys ever discussed this on your pod, Jack? No. Mindfulness? This is a really good idea. um yeah This is a great idea. I can't wait to discuss this. Do you want to save this for your next episode of Joy Tactics instead of doing it here?
Speaker: i don't know if we're goingnna have a next episode. Let's live in the moment. We're all good, it right? because what if the tsunami hits? True. Yeah, the big one. You got to think, I don't know, what's the what's the best you've ever done with the worst attitude?
Speaker: That's a question. Right. I mean, yeah, how valuable can a negative attitude be? you know You have to be an expert at something. You start with a positive attitude when you're a novice, right?
Speaker: Oh, beginner's luck. Everything works out. That's a mindset. Beginner's luck is a mindset, you know? Yes. But once you once you're getting really good at something, it's all about clocking in and out. Just like, get this shit over with. I got to...
Speaker: get home and jerk off. Let me just do the oil, the viral oil rig readjustment video. It's kind of spitefully so I can get home.
Speaker: Well, I'll tell you this. I'm so I'm sitting on the basketball court in Chicago in 2014 or whatever. Bunch of little 12 year old boys are walking by. I'm halfway down the court. I'm at the half court. I go turn around. I go, you who boys, I get their attention. i throw a half court shot and sink it and they all cheer for me. Right.
Speaker: That's real? That's real. That's baller, man. Well, that's, and that's where if I turned around and I'd said, hey guys, this is going to fucking suck. I'm probably going to miss this shit. So don't even look.
Speaker: If I then said that and threw it, I bet I would have missed. But imagine if you had all that negative energy and just just by sheer chance you made it in. i mean, is that better, worse, or equal to Yoohoo Boys and sinking it from half-core? Wouldn't they make fun of him because they'd be like, oh, he wasn't even right about that. Yeah, wrong. he really fucked up.
Speaker: Wrong-o. Wrong. You're actually skilled. Yeah. They would have thought I was being sarcastic or something. and Right. That's what I mean. Sarcasm is implicit in such a feat. But do you guys think it's more impressive or less impressive to do? I'm a fucking idiot. I never make any shot because I suck.
Speaker: Or Yoohoo Boys. What's a more impressive half court shot? It's greedy. It's kind of like, oh, you get to have it all. You get to be negative and you get to be skilled. Yeah. So you think it's better? You think it's better to be unconfident and then make it It's a little dishonest. I think it's more impressive to be negative and then make it, but it it doesn't elicit as much joy.
Speaker: not going to make the people around you happy. You're letting them in on it when you... Tell them you're going to make it and It also depends on what you do after hitting it. Like if you do the whole like sarcastic, I'm a fucking piece of shit. I should be hung. i should be killed. I should be guillotined. And then you make the shot and then you kind of do like a subtle little hip hypnotic dance. You kind of freak it. Or if stunned, stunned by your success and you to do sort of like an Elon Musk jump. ba midrith I did it. Did you just say Elon Musk?
Speaker: Elon Musk. Elon.
Speaker: Oh, Photoshoppers, you know what to Elon Musk. Well, what if you say, oh you who, what if you do the double opposite? You who boys, I'm about to sink this shit.
Speaker: And then you just whip it at them. Go for the shot. Or what if you just say you who boys and don't even play with the basketball? Yeah, just show them a little leg. Yeah, that might be a success on its own.
Speaker: What if you shout at a group of boys, Yoo-hoo, boys, and then you do an Elon Musk jump and then nothing else happens? Does that count as positive thinking? If that's what you wanted to do, then you were successful.
Speaker: hey I love that. you can I mean, that is a way to, quote-unquote, adopt a positive mindset. And maybe things will magically fall into place. is If every time you see a group of boys walking, you go, Yoo-hoo, boys, and then you jump like Elon.
Speaker: Then you just keep going about your day. Just little little ah morsels of positivity that are child-based, child interaction-based. Yeah, you need to be celebrating all the time, I think.
Speaker: Woo-hoo! Exactly. You need to enter like a short cutscene every time something goes slightly well for you. Like a Mario Kart, yeah. That works. That's positive thinking. That's just celebrating, really. It's not positive thinking. Yeah. Well, what does it work to what? You know what I'm saying? This is what pisses me off is when people don't say that what it's for.
Speaker: You're not going to like the rest of this podcast. most of our Most of our insights are about whether or not things will work, but not. Oh, man. Kind of our catchphrase. This yeah is an engineer's podcast.
Speaker: Will this work? It works. Workbusters. Did you guys have a positive mindset going into this recording session? Yeah. I'm slowly developing mine. i already had one, so if it's not going well, I feel like an idiot.
Speaker: I should have said Yoo-hoo Boys when we started and then said a really funny joke from Half You can still try it, yeah. Use this Half Pod, yeah. There are some podcast guests who...
Speaker: kind of proverbially sit at the half court line and wait to line up their shot. Then they say something funny and it's back to half court. You know, instead of being a ball hog, Jack, I'd say that you're playing very, very well. I feel like you're all over the court.
Speaker: Sometimes you're picking up the rebound. Sometimes you're shooting from half court. Derek, you're kind of a half court guy. You like to line up your shot on the podcast. You think I snipe? I think i think that you're you know that's your class.
Speaker: I think you've selected sniper. Okay. What are you, like the announcer? I know. Yeah. Because you're saying what everyone's shot is. Right, I'm like the announcer. You know, you you were actually the lag switcher of this game, Derek, because you keep leaving the call.
Speaker: Lag switcher? What does Matthew get to be? I just do granny shots. Underhand. Granny shots. What does lag switch mean? Yeah. That's when you turn off your internet connection with a light switch while you're playing.
Speaker: And then you kill someone and then you turn on your internet connection again. So they're like, what the hell? You teleported in my game. What game is that? um That's any online game. i mean, it used to be a Call of Duty thing.
Speaker: College duty. college Can you play basketball in college duty online? You can't play basketball in college duty online. yeah You can't shoot into a hoop. I bet there was a Call of Duty basket. You know, that's interesting. Back in the old days on like a PS2, there would just be the game, but then a basketball version of the game.
Speaker: You guys remember that? Like a mini game that you would get when you complete the game. Huh. You know, they had that in Tony Hawk's. I think there was a Tony Hawk game where you had to get a ball into a hoop. Actually, you might be right.
Speaker: Then there was ah that game War of the Monsters on PS2 where you're giant monsters fighting in a city. And then they had an unfinished minigame, I think called Jump-O-Rama. And it's just like jumping into a hoop.
Speaker: But it was impossible. You couldn't do it. You couldn't do it. Yeah. Yeah, that's anyway. Maybe maybe someone knows what talking about. ah Here's the rent the rentst of this question.
Speaker: On the flip side, I've also come across skeptical views suggesting that positive thinking might be overhyped. Is it possible that people are just noticing the good stuff more when they focus on positivity?
Speaker: Or is there genuinely some cosmic force that responds to our thoughts? This person needs to get a fucking job. Agreed. if you're sitting around thinking about thinking, it's not that deep. That's what I say to people.
Speaker: Oh my gosh, they come up to me at a party. Oh my gosh. Dude, Jack, I was just thinking about like how crazy it is that all this shit is temporary. You know what I'm saying? And I go, bro, it's not that deep. Trust me.
Speaker: Everything's permanent. And it's not temporary.
Speaker: This shit is built to last. It's a very funny disagreement to have with someone. They're commenting on how things aren't that deep. And then you say, bro, chill. Things aren't that deep. It's not that deep, bro. The conservation of mass and global consciousness.
Speaker: Jack, I was thinking about how we shouldn't take anything too seriously and our thoughts are not even, they shouldn't be that important to us because they're all fleeting. And then you say, bro, miss me with that. I actually don't find importance in anything.
Speaker: but That's good. That's ball knowledge. That's elite. if you like that. That's elite. I mean, really, any any kind of consciousness, self-awareness, knowing you're thinking or you're alive is gets in the way.
Speaker: There's no need for that. Just do your duties. Do the next action. oh Don't be positive or negative about it. Just do what you're told. I was kind of thinking about whenever you ask a question, if you're going up to Jack at a party, you are, by the way.
Speaker: We are going up to Jack. Yeah, kind of invite, the way that I sit at parties invites question questions. I'll give you that. Question-ness. But as as soon as you're in the position to ask a question, you've already fucked up.
Speaker: You shouldn't ask questions. you're That's a submissive. You put yourself in a place of like not knowing. ha And then as soon as you ask a question, somebody, Jack could say, it's not that deep. That was a stupid question. Just fucking destroy you completely. Yeah. Don't don't end up there, I guess, is it would be what I would say.
Speaker: Well, talk about like overhearing things at a party. If you're ever in a conversation with someone, you know, an acquaintance, you're catching up and then you overhear a conversation in a separate circle, let's say two feet away. And the thing you overhear is that was a stupid question.
Speaker: Do you guys take that as a challenge? And it's like, all right, I got to enter this conversation. I got to ask a good question to this stupid question guy, you know? I always take that. I mean, it's very rare that you'll overhear that was a stupid question. but It makes you want to impress the person who said that when you when yeah hear someone say that was a stupid question. That guy's cool. Right. But to Derek's point...
Speaker: I'm always hearing teachers say there are no stupid questions, but I'm just saying that when you end up at a party and you have a guy in a chair who's tasked with answering questions, you you know what mean? like That's not the same environment.
Speaker: I don't ask this chair guy a question unless I'm like teasing him. I'm just like, oh, tired? That's my question. Do you tease Jack? Come on. Jack, I would never tease you even if you were seated at a party. ah It's not like that.
Speaker: and't I'm okay with that. I'm okay with anything in the world. I just got really distracted. Somebody who walked backwards for a really long time in a hijab with a cabbage in their hand. No, man. I highly doubt I swear to God.
Speaker: I swear on all that is holy. um Did they stop walking backwards? No, they let all the way. is it a field sobriety test? A field sobriety test for maybe being intoxicated while walking with a cabbage. I mean, you said you're surrounded by cops, so I can only assume they're just doing field sobriety tests on everyone. Yeah.
Speaker: You know what it would be baller during a field sobriety test is ah once you once you do your 10 paces in a straight line, you just keep walking away from the cop and your car. Just get the hell out of there.
Speaker: thought you going say chug. <unk>ug Yeah. Chugging a beer. That's a bitch.
Speaker: You only get one on me. Yeah. How about this? No breathalyzer, no blood test, but I'll give you a freebie right now. And then you drink the beer and say, all right, take me away. Yeah, yeah that is baller. And they get in your car and you guys hang out for a while. Oh, yeah, that's nice, huh?
Speaker: You do get to spend time with them. Yeah, see? I'm a human. I'm not just someone to give tickets to. You can be friends with me. I'm not just a drunk driver. Not a drunk driver.
Speaker: I am, but it's there are other things that I do today. Can you think of a stupid question, really? You know? That's a great, that's a great sort of window into our podcast. Can you think of one? Great question.
Speaker: Is that one? Ah. Oh, fuck. Meta. Now that's meta. It's stupid to have a question. You're right. Derek's right. That's Derek's point. He says it's stupid to have a question. It's supplicant. It's, it's a submissive to ask a question. it's weak. Your vocab literally shakes my spine, man. You don't like to hear supplicant, huh? No, I do like it. It makes me feel like I'm looking at a firework.
Speaker: ah Dazzling. Derek, what's the stupidest question you've ever been asked? and I feel like you get asked a lot of stupid. There are certain people who get asked stupid questions just because of their attitude.
Speaker: You know, my attitude makes people ask me stupid questions. Your attitude makes people ask, what time is it?
Speaker: What's the weather outside? Sure. That's a kind of a stupid, what's the weather like outside? What's the weather outside? What is that? People ask that. yeah Why is it that lower class people are always asking, would you like fries with that? Uh-huh.
Speaker: Lower class people? Yeah. People that maybe fell on hard times. Yeah. Why they ask that to me? Hmm. They're trying to figure out fries.
Speaker: Yeah. They're trying to figure out how valuable fries are. A lot of lower class people think that fries are a currency. I feel like if someone just gives me fries without asking, then I think, well, damn, you went to college.
Speaker: youre probably You're pretty smart. But if you're asking me, it's like, don't even ask me that. Because you want fries? Obviously, I want fries. I'm here. Right. Right.
Speaker: It's low class to get fries too, though, Derek. It's lowrested it's low class to receive them. Okay. Because upper class people eat caviar. i shouldn't receive them? What you mean? I should just have them already? You shouldn't be around fries. You shouldn't be around them. shouldn't be anywhere near fries. You want to be a posh, yeah. Get away from that thing. When I go to the restaurant, I just come with fries with me.
Speaker: Don't have them, period. around them. Don't let fries near you. If you're trying to be elite, yeah. You can be around a potato, but it has to be, um like, what emulsified. matt Yeah, it could be turned into squares, like the really thin squares.
Speaker: Why do rich people love thin squares? I guess guess everything reminds me of them of dollar bills. Credit cards? Credit cards dollar Yeah.
Speaker: Rich people are always saying, look at this, and then opening their wallet. And they have all these different shapes in there. Yeah, their Ridge wallet. Their what? Ridge. They should just call that shit a Ridge wallet.
Speaker: Hey, now. Pierce, what are you talking about? ridge well Ridge wallets. It's our sponsor for the episode, Derek. Ridge wallets. Ridge wallets. What is a Ridge wallet? They're ridged for her pleasure.
Speaker: Hey, now. Ridge wallet, it's basically just a piece of steel with a um with a ah flexible elastic band, and you put your credit cards in it. It's it's a it's a masculine wallet.
Speaker: That went over my head. Oh, you got the pocket wallet. Is that what they call that? well Pocket-shaped wallet. Pocket-shaped wallet. What is that? It's shipped like a knife, kind of.
Speaker: Oh, fuck. yeah Oh, fuck. My testicles got sliced. just is It obeys the contours of your pocket, Derek. Yeah, but what do you even do with that little that triangle bit at the very end? Can you even put anything in there?
Speaker: You put in dimes there. Guitar pick, maybe? Sand? Yeah, that's a sand area. You're just trying to fill it out, I guess. When I first moved to New York, I would let my landlord drive my car in exchange for $100 off the rent, which I only did because I just moved here and I wanted to have a good relationship with him. But it was a huge mistake. He would drive my car and not return my keys to me.
Speaker: One day he drove it and I opened it up. And on the driver's seat, there was a bunch of like sand just on the seat. And I said, hey, man, what's all the sand on the seat? I sent him a picture. He goes, there's only one place on earth where sand comes from, buddy.
Speaker: But that is not sand. What? ye that's That's what my landlord said when I when i asked him why there was sand on my seat. He made my question stupid by answering it. He said, there's only one place on Earth where sand comes from, buddy, but that is not sand.
Speaker: you didn' You didn't ask the right question. It's not true. Imagine if there's one place on the whole fucking planet where sand comes from. I know. Tons of places where there's sand. People would eat it. People would put it as on their food as a garnish. What is the one place he's talking about? Earth? a I think he was talking about the beach, but it also is in the desert, right? And it's in the playground. And it's in... The playground.
Speaker: Sometimes... An hourglass? and a bar Sometimes just in a bag. Sand is mostly in a bag, yeah. And then at amusement parks, I think they use it to weigh down the roller coasters. What?
Speaker: Glass? It can be found in glass? What what what about the roller coasters? It's not heavy if fuck enough, those roller coasters? They're getting greedy with their weight. but They're going float away?
Speaker: Jack, I say the same thing about um anchors. How are you going to put an anchor on a boat? It's going to sink it. It's too heavy. What are you talking about with the roller coasters? Roller coasters, when they put the steel into the ground, they don't just go into the earth because the earth, the soil will rock back and forth. So they have to put something like, so it's like sand and concrete sometimes, but sometimes they just use sand. Who told you? Because you want there to be. How do you know that?
Speaker: The roller coasters are hollow. The place where the steel goes. Who did tell me that? Am I just making this up? That'd be a good game show. Make that shit up. Oh, they fill the tracks with sand to dampen the noise because I think ah the noise travels differently in sand.
Speaker: That's so different. It's different from what I thought, but it's still useful. Remember Beastland or whatever? No. What is that? Mr. Beast theme park in Dubai or Saudi Arabia? Right. No. Remember it? It's already destroyed?
Speaker: I'm not sure about that. ah hope not. Did it open? It opened. Damn. What was the premiere ride? I don't know. Go up.
Speaker: Or what does Mr. Beast have people do? Moot? Or he has people... Trapped. Sleep at... ah Have sleepover in this area. Doesn't he have his, like, ah he has his own Dubai?
Speaker: Where is it at? North Carolina or something where the whole town has to work for him? He does kind of... They have to live in his warehouse or whatever? But those are the ones that get torn down. I don't feel like there's ever... i feel like that's why Mr. Beast gets away with everything is that he just has, like, temporary work camps.
Speaker: then he then Mr. Beastland was just a prison kind of pitched as a theme park. You get to be in in this ah container.
Speaker: You get to survive. I'm scared of him. You get to survive for however long you're... ah You last. In bed. Come on.
Speaker: Penis. No, but seriously, we shouldn't joke about um how long people last. A lot of people struggle with that. lot people struggle last in there. Maybe it would help them to joke about it, dude. Maybe you get out of your head if you would just joke about it for once. Not be like, oh, I can't last. I don't last. Positive thinking. Positive thinking in the sack. page ah call you Call your show. I think I'll last. actually think I'm gonna last during this whole thing.
Speaker: Watch this. Right before insertion, you have to say, yeah, watch this for the next 45 minutes or so. Yep. Check this out. I'm going to make you come in one second.
Speaker: And I'm not going to come for a really long time. I'm going to last. The whole time you know me. Yeah. When a baby is when you ask like a toddler what they want to be when they grow up, like my mom did. She asked me, what do you want to do when you grow up? And I said, I want to marry you.
Speaker: And she would always say, no, no. But every time she would ask me, I would say the same thing. But can you imagine if that worked out? That would have been like calling it from half court. If you would have married your mom.
Speaker: Yeah. And I called it as a baby. Pause. hell no. Oh, hell no. bro Run that back. What did you just say? You walking down the aisle with your mom? Mother Sundance, she's giving me away. Record scratch to herself.
Speaker: Your girlfriend should give you away to your mom. All right. We've had our fun in college. Now, back to mommy. Back in. yeah Can I try reading one?
Speaker: Read this one. I just put it in the chatty. I had a nightmare last night that I couldn't read and I was trying to read and I was being made fun of because I couldn't really read. So I want rectify that. had a nightmare that I was really bothering everyone and then on the car ride home after bothering like like my close friends like Matthew, Patrick, some ladies that I knew.
Speaker: i was thinking like I have to send an apology text to everyone individually but it has to be one of those that I copy and paste to each person. and I'm not going to start a group chat apology.
Speaker: But i woke up I woke up writing a text and copy pasting it to a bunch of the people that I had offended. was horrible. That's depersonalized as well. Yeah.
Speaker: Okay. And do you want to know what my dream was about last night? Yes. I was the manager of a um dog pound. There were a bunch of dogs and I i kept thinking like I'm gonna have to kill a lot of these dogs because nobody wants them.
Speaker: I was really kind of not happy with my job that day. You're the manager. I know, but I'm going to lose my ass. i'm goingnna I'm going to be underwater financially if I don't like start gassing these dogs.
Speaker: You get paid per dog execution as the manager of a dog. I don't know. The dream didn't explain it to me fully. There's always questions I want to ask my dreams. because If you're the manager, you're like, oh, fuck. i did but know We're a little understaffed right now. I got to interview people.
Speaker: I had too many dogs. I think that was the main problem. I feel like dog shelters, kill shelters should just train the dogs to do the work. I mean, putting down dogs cannot be that hard for a dog to do. That's a good point. The dog should be trained to make nooses for themselves. Or hold its breath, yeah. These dogs are selectively bred for holding their breath.
Speaker: For breath-based suicide. That's kind of an English bulldog is, right? Being selectively bred for not breathing too much.
Speaker: yeah Yeah, that's true. Hey, they should call them dog kill shelters, by the way. Jesus Christ. Calling yourself just a kill shelter? Someone might get the wrong idea. Start killing humans.
Speaker: A dog kill shelter puts us at ease a little bit. Okay. All good? All right. Okay. This isn't where I go to just fuck you up. Mm-hmm. Walk in there and just take your ass back to the grave.
Speaker: but Back where you came from. I know you came from a grave, bitch-ass zombie. Telling that to somebody and killing them. All right, let's get into the next sentence.
Speaker: Let's hear it. Okay, this one is ah from two. ah Okay, no, it's not. It's from unpopular opinion. Titles, fully remote workers are be... Wait, what? No, no, no, I can't mess this up.
Speaker: Watch this, bitch. Fully remote workers are becoming the socially awkward homeschooled kids of the adult world. That's the title. Okay.
Speaker: And I didn't register any of it. Body. People hide behind cameras off, barely talk in meetings, and then are shocked when promotions go to those who actually show up.
Speaker: Real relationships, body language, office politics are fucking dying. Everyone's social skills are atrophying. The excuse is productivity, they say. Anyone who wants to actually get ahead, it's better in person.
Speaker: Changed my mind. I took some liberties with that. That was awesome, by the way. You took some liberties. You didn't want to read the last word, which was perspective, so you changed it to mind. I made it hyper-topical.
Speaker: I think that's nice. That's actually advanced reading skills. Whew. Yeah. When you bring your own kind of interpretive, if you can translate it instantly to a different reading level. Yeah, you no fear Shakespeare. and real The smartest people read Shakespeare raw and what comes out of their mouth is no fear Shakespeare. Yeah, try reading something right now and saying something completely different. That's tough.
Speaker: Here, I'm going to read it again. Hey, guys, what's really going on today? That's kind of crazy. That feels weird. Mm-hmm. It is just reading something and going, okay, so he's saying that is kind of what people do sometimes.
Speaker: That's kind of how Trump reads. Yeah, i liked Moby Dick. I liked Moby Dick. It's how it goes. ah Hello, my name is Matthew Golden. Today I'm reading. Today I'm reading Moby Dick. All right, yeah.
Speaker: It's awesome. I was talking to my dad about Upton Sinclair's The Jungle. Classic. When read it back in the day. Classic book book. A book from school. And I was talking to my dad about it. I was like, have you read it? He was like, yeah, I thought it was pretty good. I don't like the scene where they all have that big orgy in the slaughterhouse.
Speaker: And I said, what are you what? he goes, you know, after dark, when all the workers meet up and they fuck each other in the slaughterhouse and all the meat. And I was like, implied.
Speaker: sorry But my dad literally said this and he insisted. He was like, you might have to read it again because, yeah, that part is really insane. And I was like, that's not in the book. I mean, is that something that you and your co-workers talk about? Like that?
Speaker: The workers have an orgy in the meat? He was like, I'm pretty sure it's a very short passage, but it is horrible. Anyway, that's that's an example of someone reading. Doesn't that happen in every book if that's what you're thinking about while you read it? Uh-huh.
Speaker: jack's whistling Jack's whistling is really undermining the sort of the note of the podcast that we like to hit is asking pseudo intellectual questions. It's really taking the wind out of it.
Speaker: Why would that be am I not putting the wind into it? you That's true. That's true. You actually need air to whistle. se my wing oh that oh this I mean, i I like it, but it is it is a it's hard to hear. it's It's like a smoke. It's like a smoke detector battery for the integrity of the podcast.
Speaker: Podcasters integrity. Podcasters need it. All right. What do you guys think of ah productivity with respect to remote workers and people who do office politics?
Speaker: um Are remote workers becoming the socially awkward homeschooled kids of the adult world? Yes. All right. Very good. Yes. Basically, pretty much.
Speaker: Why is it that if you want to get in head ah what you want to get in head, you have to be in person? If you want to get head? Why are things better in person? Head, ah office politics? They're not so different.
Speaker: I've got to wonder how many fucking people this person's meeting that they're going like, man, every time you know every time I meet somebody and they're working from home, I can tell it based on their social skills. It makes me think, you must hang out with a lot of people.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. There must be a lot of people around you if you can tell who's not around you. They just have a vast Pokedex. You know, they know all the types of people there are homeschooled. You're a homeschooled kid.
Speaker: You're normal. How do they tell if someone's a remote worker? Well, when you were when you were a kid, you would know a homeschooled kid because you would see them like at the store or something. You'd think, that kid doesn't go to my school. Must be a homeschooled kid. So I feel like... most Aren't most adults homeschooled kids? Because like you don't have the same workplace.
Speaker: This is hard. there's also kids who go to a different school. If everybody worked at the same job, it would solve this issue. You're saying that homeschooled kids seem weird simply because they're not your friend. ah And theyre they are not in the room with you all the time.
Speaker: Is that kind of it? Kind of. So adults. And sometimes you see them like holding their mom's hand in public or whatever. Right. I one time took an acting class with a homeschooled kid and she asked me to the homeschool dance.
Speaker: i I didn't want to go. Is that just at her house? I think so. Or like in the in the woods. Wait, whose mom's here? Who here was a home birth? Anybody? Cricket.
Speaker: It's rare. hospital was born in isn't even around anymore. They tore it down? Tore it down once I came out. Damn. I'm glad you came out, for least. yeah Thanks, man. didnt know whatever You snuck you snuck on under the the closing hospital doors like Indiana Jones. Yeah, I could have been born in Maryland or something, thank God.
Speaker: Thank God you weren't. Yeah. But you were born in a hospital. That's really nice. Well, thanks, man. I'm sure yeah you'll get there one day, but yeah, it does feel nice. Here's what I'm saying, though. Don't you guys feel this way?
Speaker: um we're Well, what I'm saying is we're zooming right now. See what I'm saying? Uh-huh. We're working from home right now. And I kind of feel like this person can suck on it.
Speaker: Because if anything, this is like ah low oxygen training, high altitude training rather. where we are getting so good at socializing. Hey, what's going on? Good to see you, dude. do You want to talk about some fucking shit?
Speaker: But we're on fucking Zoom. Now, just wait till you see us in person. Because that's what I'm saying. If you can do it on here, you can do it anywhere. so this the We're fighting through the lag and the pixels. yeah when we when When we meet later at a cafe to chop it up, we're going to be talking lot even louder than this and fast.
Speaker: Well, let's think about this. An in-person conversation versus an in-person podcast, which of those is high-altitude training? Is a conversation like ah harder than a podcast, or is a podcast harder than a conversation? i think a podcast conversation is harder. wait Oh, my God.
Speaker: We are different. We have sort of a different take on the world. What are your guys' answers? Jack, you said a podcast is harder. I think a po opposite. Yeah. Okay, so a conversation is high-altitude training for a podcast. you know You have to get your reps in at the very height of human interaction, which is just talking to another person. But recording for listeners for money, that's the easy road.
Speaker: Kind of. Well, it depends how you... People are people are what? You weren't going to say fat. Well, I wasn't going to say fat. People are so fat these days. That's the problem.
Speaker: The problem with interacting with people is just they're bouncing you around the room. Like ah getting bounced around. No, I guess people are forced to not talk when you're a podcast when you're when people are listening to you on a podcast.
Speaker: It's easy for you to talk to them because they don't say much. The listeners of of the podcast? You see this as a conversation with our listeners primarily. You know how like anyone who starts a video and they say, hey, guys, guys, that's the easiest person to have a conversation with, you know, guys, my followers. you're from the perspective of the listener. So a podcast is easy for the listener to participate in.
Speaker: But by that logic, conversation is also easy if you just never talk. Yeah. No, but a conversation in person, they're you're going to start to think that you're going to be worried that people think you're weird you don't talk. Uh-huh.
Speaker: Right. Yeah. I mean, it's barely even conversing, standing next to two people who are talking and nodding. i mean, do people walk away from that interaction and go, I like that guy who was quiet, but I liked how he nodded.
Speaker: Hey now, would you rather, this is so classic, would you rather be annoying or boring? I already live my life one way. i think it's kind of it's good to bounce between them like at times.
Speaker: Because sometimes like there's someone that annoys you and you want to seem boring to them. That way they don't talk to you so much. That's true. When someone when someone talks to me who I don't like, I just sort of kind of change my body language and kind of cave in on myself. and They'll usually just move away.
Speaker: Yeah, it's like a chameleon entering a boring... They they deploy their boring colors to... it If you go into the fetal position, that's boring. That is kind of human camouflage is slouching.
Speaker: ah That's like a human being becoming a stick insect or an octopus deploying ink. It's like a human being slouching and avoiding eye contact, just blending into the, I'm just a boring loser. Don't talk to me. I'm i'm wallpaper.
Speaker: It's very easy physical position to get in to get people to ignore you. Donald Trump walks up to you. What body languages do you start doing? um Probably ah squaring up. Yep. Flipping a bird. Double birds. Gun.
Speaker: Gun out. Arm outstretched. Finger gun, just in case. Just in case there's no gun in hand. Just case. I'd grab his belly. You'd grab it? Give it a shake. You'd say a prayer. With both hands. What the fuck? New new religion prayer.
Speaker: um What is that? Just some sort of sort of curse that you put on a stomach. Oh, cursing him is a good idea. yeah Oh, yeah, cursing his belly. So we're all in agreement that we would try to annoy Trump if we met him. I would not bore him to tears.
Speaker: i I would want to make Trump rip his first, well, that just happened. That got me. I would want to make Trump rip. Okay, moving on. Awkward.
Speaker: kind of un acting it oh say Backing away slowly. Yes, that makes sense. He's going to be doing the Homer meme in a second, this guy. I feel like I would want to bore Obama. I think it'd be nice to make him yawn, visible. like Unable to stifle yawn. Well, he is kind of boring.
Speaker: ah bet Obama could show you something cool on his phone. Obama phone? You guys remember that? What's that? Everyone's talking about Trump phone, but there used to be an Obama phone. What? Who's saying Trump phone? Trump phone. They're making a phone, bro. It's ah it's like a Chinese reskin.
Speaker: Yes. Yes. The Lifeline program for low-income customers. It was like if you were getting... It's like a social security phone that they called an Obama phone. Yes, yes.
Speaker: Kind of cool. It's pretty awesome. But if any just to answer your question, Jack, I think if anyone is friends with me or even is familiar with me, they would think, oh, that's a guy who has decided that being annoying is a positive character trait.
Speaker: i don't think I've ever been like just purely chill and fun to be around. If I'm ever fun to be around, it's a fluke because my annoyingness paid off. Whenever you've been quiet for a while, Pierce, you seem to...
Speaker: reflect upon that that moment in time and think that you failed. right You seem to think like, why did I do that? I should have been more annoying. okay Yeah, that didn't work.
Speaker: Trying to be chill. Why did I try that? That never works. Well, what a it what about you guys? Are you boring or annoying? Well... Does that answer your question? And that one got me.
Speaker: Boring. um a And it depends. Yeah, it depends. Depends on the amount of sleep you've had, I guess, and how much anxiety you have. You want to be boring, boring, boring, boring until the very moment you can kind of turn on a heel and be really annoying for just a second. Right, that heel turn is where the magic comes. Basically, just the magic is in between the transition from boring annoying. You both. Be silent for a good hour and then emit one high-pitched squeal for just a second. Shit.
Speaker: Oh, that's good. It's like when a boring caterpillar turns into a butterfly for just a moment, leaping from one from one branch to another. Yeah, annoying, loud, and then turns right back into a caterpillar. A screaming butterfly instead of a quiet, munching caterpillar.
Speaker: Yeah, you know, it's like a too hot, you're going to smoke your oil. Too low, you it's just going to be a grease bomb. You want that lead in frost effect. Say what? There we go again. Say what now?
Speaker: Sorry. ah is what i'm talking You guys know what I'm talking about where the water forms orbs on the in the frying pan? Oh, that's what that is? Yeah, lead in frost, I think. oh We got to get you on a fucking quiz show. Thanks, man. You've said so much shit. You've said the thing about the sand.
Speaker: Damn, Jack, i that means a lot, truly. This is what I'm talking about. Just an obnoxious sort of trivia guy. What do you guys know? Jack, Derek, do you guys know anything? What's up? you guys have any nice things to know?
Speaker: Don't know much. Yeah, anything you know that you want to kind of share it with the class. I can name anything. I remember one of the first bits of trivia I learned that I would repeat to other kids at school was that the things at the end of your shoelaces are called aglets. It's good one.
Speaker: That's nice. Yeah, that one hit. I remember there was a website that I would go to on the home computer that just had a list of information. i think they were mostly Snapple facts. One of them said the original board of Monopoly was circular, but that I feel like that can't be right. well It still is.
Speaker: Whoa. Yeah, that's um what's it called? What's that phenomenon where you remember things ever like collective hallucination? Yeah. you think you think things are circles? Yeah. Oh, net Mandela effect.
Speaker: Yeah. It's Mandela effect. Yeah. Monopoly boards are still circular. People tend to remember them as square. Hey, I'll read this next one. This from Unpopular Opinion subreddit.
Speaker: ah It says people should stop going on cruises. I'll read Cruises. No, you won't.
Speaker: Cruises are nothing but container ships for human bodies where people are served crap food catered by the same companies as schools and prisons entertained by citizens of the third world under exploitative contracts.
Speaker: Cruises enabled massive super spreading in the early stages of viruses, including the recent Tantavirus outbreak. If you are stuck on a cruise during such an outbreak, you have fewer rights and treatment options compared to someone on dry land.
Speaker: It is simply unimaginable why people would pay good money to stay in a floating prison under the flag of convenience of a country that effectively has no ability to enforce their laws or guarantee the rights of those on board.
Speaker: Typing this shit from the Hantavirus cruise, I'll piss off. Why would anyone agree to be here? This sucks. Why did my mom and dad drag me on this cruise? Fucking cruise. I want to be on dry land, you bozos. Almost known my age. This is really the way you talk to mom and dad. Yes. Don't you know that this enabled massive super spreading?
Speaker: Like in our current situation? What that this this ignorant fool doesn't even realize is don't you look around and realize that America is just like this? Yeah, this is like the Dark Knight, right? Like when the prisoners were on the ferry, they should be like, why are we even on this ferry?
Speaker: We have no rights as prisoners right now. And doubled that is that we're on a ferry. We're in the sea. That's true. Yeah. It's not good to be on a cruise except there is the ocean, which is kind of interesting.
Speaker: And then when you get back to Gotham, it's just like, great, now I'm just a prisoner of Batman. Yeah. Is it true that there's no laws on the ship? You don't have to follow the laws?
Speaker: It's like it's there's no country that you're it's maritime laws or if you're in the water zone of a country as they call it. But they just have like their own rules. Right. No making out with each other. If you work here. It's just captain's law. that law The jungle.
Speaker: A lot of the laws are stuff like you can't get extra towels for your room. You can't yeah take all the crab salad from the buffet and put it on your plate. they have like So they have more specific laws than like here here on land. gym closes They have that law where they the captain has to go down with the ship.
Speaker: They say that. The band has to play as the ship is sinking. The band. The band. Yeah. The ship's band. Hey, now, here's what we do for our next sketch comedy that we do together.
Speaker: Titanic scene, it's going down, but instead of the violins, it's like a Vampire Weekend, Cover Man, the fucking the fucking ah emo night cruise hit iceberg. Mm-hmm. Emo music is kind of like it sounds to the ear like the ship is sinking. That's what emo music sounds like. Too many flutes.
Speaker: What? too Too many flutes? Is that right? Matthew, what the fuck are you talking about? in emo music? Why? You're not quite familiar with this stuff, are you? I don't listen to a lot of it. More of a metalhead.
Speaker: Now talking. You're not a deadhead. Is anyone in here a certified deadhead? Certified pedophile. No. oops Yeah, not the deadhead, exactly.
Speaker: Matthew, do you want to read this question? I want to yeah. Will i I don't know. That's the question, right? I will. Well, this is from a subreddit called Parents, and the title of the post is...
Speaker: I have all my child's teeth in a ziplock in my sock drawer. The body of the post says, Kidlet knows there's no tooth fairy. Child is 16 now.
Speaker: I kept all the teeth anyway. What do you do with them? Throwing them out at this point feels weird. Am I now a psychopath? Is there a way can give them back in a non-creepy way?
Speaker: Like make a polymer clay monster and put real teeth in? Sounds troll, but I'm super serious, actually. You just put them in a tin, right? Why, for shaking them?
Speaker: I think just teeth in a tin, there's something on there's something unscary about that, uncreepy. Yeah, my mom keeps all my old baby teeth and foreskin in ah in an old tin. Your old foreskin? Yeah, well, guess it's not that old. I'm 34.
Speaker: yes it's still good It's still bright and bushy too. Oh yeah, compared to like a building or an ancient city, that's not that old. Compared to the pyramids or the sphinx? Yeah, it can't be that old.
Speaker: Not that old. Teeth in a tin, that's all. I mean, it's not good to keep them in a Ziploc bag. I think you take them out of the Ziploc and put them in a nicer thing. a polymer clay monster? hu I think this person is a creep, but not for the way they're handling the teeth. I mean, just calling their 16-year-old child a kidlet.
Speaker: Oh yeah, that was weird, huh? Kid lit knows there's no tooth fairy. That ain't right. It's really in the attitude, perhaps. You can have it in a bag or you could put it on a fucking thing.
Speaker: But if you just be nonchalant about it. yeah here you go. Yeah, I'm done with these. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Here you go, bro. Something like that. Leave him under the bed, right? That's kind of interesting. I know yeah the Tooth Fairy is not real. And so here, the Tooth Fairy... Just loose?
Speaker: Loose under the bed? Under your pillow. You want to toss them like dice? Under the bed. i guess I meant to say pillow, but I'm sure that there's under the bed crap too that the fairy does. Have you ever had one of your parents be kind of awkward about interacting with you?
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Once. I remember the first time my dad called me by my first name and I cringed. What? What was he calling you before? lit song? Just like slap happy and shithead and fuck face. But like in a fun way, you know, he would swear at me. But then one day he just called me Pierce and i was like really freaked out.
Speaker: was like, is is he hitting on me? You've painted your dad to be pretty cool this episode. Yeah, he was cool with the shit. I haven't even talked about him yet, right? I just talked about my mom. What about the orgy? Oh, yeah. That story. Oh, yeah. That's that tale.
Speaker: Yeah, he's cool enough. hey That's cool. hmm. Mm hmm. I was the cool kid. I called my parents, but I was one of those kids who called to their parents by their first names. You were like Bart.
Speaker: I was like Bart. Minus the strangling, of course. Well, thanks. What were you? Hello? Hello. Hello. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. um what What do you guys want me to say next? Sorry. Maybe a quip? Funny quip? Oh, you want to clip you want something that's clippable?
Speaker: Yeah, let's clip this. Next thing you say? You should OD. Say again? You should OD. I think that would generate... I mean, not...
Speaker: dangerous. I mean, be safe. I'm reverse OD'd right now. You're thriving? I'm hungry. ah This is going to great clip of you thriving. Oh, yeah. For the next five minutes. this is Breathing? Yeah, thriving. This is what it looks like. I'm looking at a guy in a suit. Um...
Speaker: This is your clip? and this is We're seconds into this clip right now.
Speaker: Jack's big clit. I've got so little energy, I can't lie. i think I've been, somebody stole my energy from me. It couldn't have been us, right? Uh-uh. It was probably, uh, yeah, a police officer.
Speaker: All right, that's we stuck the landing for the clit. I mean, yeah, you're you're in a car, you're exposed to the world. I mean, you probably feel a little bit scared because like this is not a natural podcasting environment. The rest of us are kind of in our man caves and you're like in a public cage.
Speaker: Yeah, there's people all around me. I just saw a Goya truck. Massive Goya, probably 10 foot tall Goya bean just drove by. That's Goya slop. I know. I know.
Speaker: Yeah. Well. Welly. Well, we're about halfway through the clip. Welly, welly, welly. The clip gone.
Speaker: let's get this said going now with that's enough not being around the bush that's finished this clip
Speaker: I'm not that this has to be a for come on now this is the plan I'm
