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The art of making a bad film
173 Plays11 months ago
In this episode, Satsunami and Craigy C take a deep dive into what makes a great bad film. Is there a formula to making the best of the worst? Or is it like lightening in a bottle? For every The Room there are a thousand Turkish Star Wars. Without any further ado, let's find out!
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Transcript
Introduction & Guest Welcome
00:00:05
Speaker
Welcome to Chatsunami.
00:00:16
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Sad Tsunami. My name's Sad Tsunami and joining me today is the one and only connoisseur of bad movies himself, Craigie C. Craigie C, welcome back. Thank you, thank you for having me on. I am thrilled to be talking about bad movies so let's get straight into it. That's not what you said when I suggested this episode.
00:00:40
Speaker
Please stop calling me. I've changed my phone number three times. That's what I've got you saved as on my phone. Craigie, please stop phoning me for the love of God. See? That's how I know it's an important call. But when I call you...
00:00:56
Speaker
I want to review bad problems!" I was like, that's not the way this works, okay? You come to me. So, as we've talked
Why Are Bad Movies Enjoyable?
00:01:03
Speaker
about on the podcast before, you and I have a long-standing history of talking about bad problems and consuming them, as it were, because you used to run a absolutely fantastic night of bad movies.
00:01:20
Speaker
So I can describe it as on a bass level because some of them were great, some of them were bad. But that went on for quite a while, didn't it? Yeah, I think we got pretty much like two years worth of time out of that. I think we did it more or less weekly for about two years. Yeah, could have gone on for a lot longer to be fair.
00:01:38
Speaker
Oh, well, I mean, probably for the best it got, for everyone's sake, it got retired eventually. But, you know, one day I want to bring it back because I got a whole bunch of new films I haven't watched yet. Yeah, I remember there was a couple who kept saying, oh, we've got this, we've got that. But this
The Group Experience & Influences
00:01:51
Speaker
is actually something that I was discussing with Andrew. I remember it was years ago, I think it was when the local agencies were still going on and I was telling them about where I was going and everything. And he was saying,
00:02:04
Speaker
Now, why are you watching bad films on purpose? And first of all, I was like, it's none of your damn business, why do you have a tax paying adult? But second of all, it was enjoyable, which is really weird to say because nowadays if you see a bad film or play a bad game, you know, you're not as likely to finish it, are you?
00:02:24
Speaker
Yeah, and I think part of why I wanted to do it as a group thing was it seemed so much more enjoyable when there's a lot of scenes doing it. I don't think I could sit and watch tons of bad movies on my own. I do get a sick enjoyment out of them, but it's so much funnier when it's lots of people enjoying the joke and not just you sitting in the house and you're doing it to anyone. That's true. I mean, I've been there with bardemic, I know the pain. Just with the tub of Bethany's. Where did my life go wrong?
00:02:50
Speaker
for the new year. Craig, talk about pandemic, don't they? I
Qualities of Entertaining Bad Movies
00:02:55
Speaker
mean, you can move house and I'll still find you to talk about pandemic. But yeah, you're completely right. It is one of those things that I think nowadays has been solidified as something that is very much more enjoyed as a group
00:03:11
Speaker
as opposed to watching them on your own, and this leads me very nicely into what we're going to be talking about today. So if you hadn't guessed by now, run now while you still can, but today we are going to be talking about the wonderful world of not just bad films, but the age-old question of what makes a bad film good. And it is something that you might think, oh it's a bit of a paradox, you know, bad film is a bad film, but there's some that just loop around into being just
00:03:40
Speaker
completely silly fun. But have you ever had one of those moments, Craig, before we actually get into the discussion, have you ever had a moment where you've been watching a film and then you think, my god, films can be bad? Yeah, I don't really know what it started though.
00:03:56
Speaker
wolfo wednesday thing for that but i do pretty much as we got into watching them together i think every single one of these terrible terrible films has some kind of deep down redeeming quality and i think that's what makes them so good is that they're not we'll get into it but any film that has at least a spark of joy seems to be good in its own way i think a lot of it as well is that kind of enjoyment of a group and i think it was red light and media was probably the people that got me into that like their youtube channel they would do like best of the worst and they would do terrible movies together and that was kind of part of it what made me go
00:04:26
Speaker
That stuff actually looks really, really, really funny. Why am I not watching this? Why am I wasting my time watching quote unquote good films? I keep watching Schlock. What, like Citizen Kane? Citizen Kane is absolute schlock. Oh, as someone who hasn't watched it, I am deeply offended.
00:04:46
Speaker
on someone's behalf, I don't know. No, it's good, it's a good film. But you know, you see all these, every year when the Oscars come round and it's like all the films at the Oscars night, most of these look a bit naff and then you see like Tommy and the T-Rex, which is like one of the ones that we watch, where it's like a girl's boyfriend gets his head, his brain transplanted into a T-Rex and they still fall in love and run away together. And yeah, that's got a story that Hollywood's too afraid to tell.
00:05:10
Speaker
He saw the picture of the T-Rex and they thought, his story needs to be told. We need
Nostalgia & Absurdity in Bad Films
00:05:17
Speaker
to tell this. We need to tell. This is going to be the magnum opus of my life, OK? Yeah, see for a second there, when you say Tommy and the T-Rex, I change you with it. This is how bad it is because there's so many, I wouldn't say copycats, but very similar films. I thought you were talking about Theodore Rex, which is the Whoopi Goldberg, like cyberpunk,
00:05:39
Speaker
detective thing. That film went out of my brain until right now. That was a whole bunch of memories, just came flooding back all at once. You and me both, because I've forgotten all you said. Tammy, I wrote to you next. I thought, was that the one Pete Goldberg film? No, no, I don't think so. But I mean, I have to say, my history with the bad films goes even further back.
00:06:03
Speaker
unfortunately, because I used to have a flatmate who, he was a nice guy, don't get me wrong, absolutely lovely guy, but he had this very weird thing that one day, we were chatting, we were up quite late, and then he turned around and he said, I want to watch a bad movie. And I was like, all right, OK, you know, stereotypical bad movies, like, you know, Transformers or something. He goes, no, no, no, no. I want to watch a really, really, I want to watch the worst of the worst.
00:06:29
Speaker
So it got to a point where he was scouring the worst of the worst on IMDB. I'm not gonna lie, there's some films that I had to watch which should never be watched by another human because of just how utterly dross
00:06:44
Speaker
Yeah, there was just so many weird ones. I mean, there was Santa with Muscles, which honestly looked like Citizen Kane compared to some of the ones I watched. I watched this utterly horrific one called Ben and Arthur. Have you ever heard of this one? Can't say I have, no. Good. Don't watch it. It's like this weird LGBT love drama that's not well done at all with a guy who's clearly punching above his way.
00:07:13
Speaker
It's like when they cast the guy to be his boyfriend, I'm like, nah, nah, there's no way. And it's like the church are trying to give them potions to turn straight. It's like, what even is this one? But you know, you've got those kind of films that are just in their own pocket of wear.
00:07:30
Speaker
But then you've got ones that are actually very entertaining. Of course, that's what we're going to be talking about today. So starting off, you have your adaptation films, which I feel as if is the low hanging fruit that we should just throw out the window right now. You know, you've got your video game adaptations with the infamous Uwe Ball films with
00:07:53
Speaker
I can't even remember what he did, Blood Drain, Alone in the Dark, you know, and then you've got like the Super Mario Brothers film, but then you've got ones like Street Fighter, which are bad but can be entertaining. Is it right in saying that there was quite a mix at the time for those kind of films?
00:08:13
Speaker
Street Fighter is one of the ones that I think is pretty good as a bad film. You know what I mean? It was
The Unenjoyable Bad Films
00:08:17
Speaker
pretty enjoyable. It was funny because some of them you read out are like bad bad and some of them are like good bad. I think it does depend but yeah I think definitely being like a licensed thing gives you a bit of a leg up and how ridiculous people are going to find you. But seeing that I will say the Doom movie starting The Rock was just
00:08:33
Speaker
boring which i think is like the worst criticism you can give of any film good or bad but in the case of bad movies that's a death sentence you know what i mean like a bad movie like these video game ones they get ridiculed because they've strayed off the path or whatever it's supposed to be or it's like so cheesy like street fighter but it's just completely lost all meaning but you do get other ones like doom i think i've seen that film doom now twice and i remember the one scene that everyone remembers from which is the first person scene i can't remember anything else about it so yeah most of the time the adaptations are usually a good sign but you can you get a couple that are a bit naff
00:09:02
Speaker
yet can we just focus on that particular trope of a film being boring as an instant death sentence? Because I feel as if a lot of the films that we watched for Lawful Wednesdays and for their own, those were the ones that weren't redeemable. Not because you know they weren't well shot or anything but just because they were just your
00:09:24
Speaker
concentrated down this and there was no reason for them. You know it's like you can imagine some poor indie content creator who's saying oh this is my vision. I don't know like for example one of the worst ones we saw was and I apologise in advance for this name because it'll probably be something we'll touch on later but a nymphoid barbarian in dinosaur hell
00:09:47
Speaker
That was one of the worst films I've seen, I would say. And again, it mixes all of the bad tropes together, you know, it deals with unwanted assault, unwanted nudity, unwanted bad effects. And most of all, it's just flat out boring. You know, it's just you sit there thinking, why is this going to end? And then when it ends, you're like, I mean, that was just...
00:10:12
Speaker
But the worst one, and I feel as if we have been joking about this since the podcast began, but I feel as if we need to briefly touch on it. So I'm looking at the Red Panda lawyer. He has advised me that he will pay your therapy bills after this episode. I don't want to talk about this man. I might hang up. We've got to talk about Turkish Star Wars for at least two minutes and counting.
00:10:37
Speaker
Right, start the clock. So, Turkish Star Wars is the worst war crime in our modern age. All we'll see is the Court of Human Rights didn't get back to me when I emailed them about this being an utter crime against humanity. It is one of those films that everybody said, and even you said this, that people online say, oh it's amazing, it's one of these so bad, it's good films, it's so over the top and so silly.
00:11:02
Speaker
Then we watched it as a group, and even watching it as a group, usually that has some kind of defence against the bad film, but that did not help at all, did it? It was easily the most tragic thing I've ever seen. What was quite funny is, like, these clips of it on YouTube, I think that's when people get their brain tuned into it as, like, on YouTube it's distilled in, like, a two minute clip and it's really funny, because the actual, the high moments of that film were pretty good, but it was just terrible. I think it was really long as well, I think it was like two and a half hours or something.
00:11:30
Speaker
After the film ended, we were just kind of like left in silence. And I laid on my floor to stand up in the ceiling for about 20 minutes. You didn't even see us out though. No, you just lay on the floor and see yourself out. And I was like, what? It's like, Craig, are you sure you don't get here? Just like, go.
00:11:50
Speaker
be gone. It was amazing that we all didn't just dissolve as a friend group after that, it was honestly one of the worst experiences of my life. I hope to never talk about it really ever again because you've got four seconds left until this two minutes is up. Because just briefly summarising why this film is bad,
00:12:08
Speaker
is basically the hook of it is it's some guy probably from Turkey, you know, I'm going to put my Sherlock Cat on here and say he's probably from Turkey and he does this thing where he interjects Star Wars footage with his own footage and I have to say that's not the first time we saw that because there was another weird film we watched whose name is Escaping me but that had a similar thing of it was so long and boring where
00:12:36
Speaker
half of the film was these ninjas fighting one another and this ninja clad in like black or red robes and everything and he had a sword that kept getting progressively redder the more ninjas he killed but then the other half of the film was this either i don't know if it was like a chinese slice of life film
00:12:57
Speaker
or something. But what they had done was they had dubbed over it and they had just made this completely different film. Then at the end they intersected the two when they put themselves on this terrible green screen and they was like, Jim, tell me how to defeat the evil ninja. And that guy was like, oh, I can't fight with you. Here's a scroll that my granddad gave me or something. And it was like none of it matched up. It was two completely clearly different
Self-awareness & Cult Classics
00:13:23
Speaker
films. Yet they tried to weave it together.
00:13:27
Speaker
is he, you know, comparing that struggle? It was just weird, was it? Do you actually remember that film? Yeah, I wanted to call it Gordon the Ninja, but I actually think it's called like Ninja Dragon or something. Yeah, it was, it was like some really dumb genetic name, no offence to the Gordons.
00:13:45
Speaker
the rest of them feel, but you know that way when you want a hero, you want something dramatic and over the top, you don't want, well I suppose Flash Gordon, but even then Gordon, he's like the grumpy one that he promised to thank for God's sake. That is definitely one of the things that kills a bad film, I would say. I mean there's loads of films like that, but weirdly enough, one other negative trope
00:14:09
Speaker
I want to bring up, and I want your opinion on this, is the idea of a bad film being too self-aware. Two examples off the top of my head I can think of here is Birdemic 2, which Birdemic 1 is stupid, it's over the top, it's not great, but you can still laugh at it. But then in Birdemic 2, James Nguyen, who is the director of this quote-unquote romantic river,
00:14:35
Speaker
think he called it or tried to trademark but he used all the jokes from the last film. He was doing it intentionally so it just it does not work at all. I think another one that you brought up was Samurai Cop 2. Did that not do it? Yeah, Samurai
00:14:50
Speaker
I'm
00:15:07
Speaker
It's usually bad. One of the best sort of examples of that when you're watching a bad movie is it's really hard to watch a good bad movie that's a comedy because bad humor is just not funny. If that makes sense, it's much harder to laugh at a bad comedy because it's usually just not funny than it is to laugh at like a bad action film because it's usually unintentionally funny. Yeah, the sequel bit, the intentionally made terrible movies, they're always a tough watch, I think.
00:15:29
Speaker
So another word to insert any Rob Schneider film in here, which is a whole other genre itself. But I mean, going back to ones like Birdemic, Samurai Cop, I mean, they are ones that are bad. Objectively, they are bad films, but they swing back around again to being so entertaining that you can't help but laugh at it. And I'm curious to hear what you think about this, but do you think
00:15:56
Speaker
with the advent of reviews of films like The Room that bads a movie watching kind of got popularised. I mean between that and as you said Red Letter Media, do you think that's when it started getting popularised in the mainstream? Yeah I think so. There was what was it called Mystery Science Theatre back in sort of the 90s that kind of did it but that kind of internet as well I think was Red Letter Media was a lot of them responsible
00:16:19
Speaker
things like The Room where effectively that film became, obviously you've always had cult films but it's so bonkers for a film that's so bad to make so much money and it's only been possible because of it sort of being rediscovered so to speak. Same with things like Samurai Cop as well. I definitely think yeah we had a little media have a lot to answer to in terms of years of our life taking off for first.
00:16:40
Speaker
It's like on the one hand we did get all those hilarious exposures to these thrums, but on the other side, yeah they made us watch Turkish stuff.
00:16:51
Speaker
So I'm not saying they should be before a court, but what I'm saying is they should be before a court. But yeah, I feel as if a good, bad film is one that is exaggerated in what it's trying to achieve. Because what
Bad Action Films & Notable Actors
00:17:06
Speaker
was the film, and you'll know this better than me, but the one where it was a frog telling a woman to shut her hole.
00:17:13
Speaker
quote, unquote. And it was like this weird Mad Max apocalyptic. That would be hell comes to Frogtown, starring professional wrestler, Roddy Roddy Piper. That is the one. Yeah. A classic for the classic pages. I think a market of iPhone user being bad up until like 2018 was having a wrestler on it. I'm just going to throw that out there up until like John Cena and Batista come through. It's usually a pretty bad mark now wrestler.
00:17:40
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, that's the perfect time to talk about a certain Hulk of the Hogan kind. The greatest of all wrestlers. You know, we have so many. Was it three ninjas? He did. It was, yeah. I don't know if he did surf ninjas. There was a lot of ninja films back in the 80s and 90s. We had Suburban Commando, which was both excellent and baffling. We also had Santa with Muscles, which again, super strange.
00:18:08
Speaker
I'm just so entertained. But I feel as if if you see Hulk Hogan, you're in for like a classically, entertainingly bad time. You see that handlebar mustache and you know it's over. It's just stark. But you're completely right though. The flip side of that though, I mean wrestlers obviously make the living in the ring doing these action stunts whereas you get people on the other side whose job it is to be action stars.
00:18:37
Speaker
Some of them don't live up as much as others. A particular fellow that I'm thinking of right now is one of the Seagal variety. Oh yes. Mr Steven Seagal. Oh okay, you're just going to name it. I thought you were going to call you there like, hmm, Seagal. Oh no, Steven Seagal, yep. On the one hand, I really want to talk about this, but on the other hand, I'm afraid he'll come to my house and beat me up.
00:18:59
Speaker
be like, wow, Steven Seagal! Just do his aura manipulation. One of the worst films I've seen of his was this really weird FBI drama. I don't know if I've told you about this. I was like, this FBI agent that I could swear looks like, and it's been a while since I've seen it, but it's this kind of relatively poetry guy that looks like Sam from Lord of the Rings.
00:19:26
Speaker
and he runs around and people are saying to him this guy you're hunting doesn't exist and it's obviously Steven Seagal who in a rare instance is the antagonist in this film but then in the end he has a fistfight with him and you're like so was he real? was he not real? and it's not like asking of inception mind bending oh what did you think i'm like no what the hell was
00:19:47
Speaker
I mean you've also got his take on taken, no pun intended. You've got Under Siege 2 which we spent a whole night trying to figure out the geography of this one train car. I do want to talk about Under Siege 2. Please do. It has one of my favourite action sequences in it ever and it's the final fight which admittedly final fights are always hard to do.
00:20:06
Speaker
but it's him in the big bad and they're alone in the train carriage finally and Stephen Seagal's just you know kung fu or whatever whatever martial art he knows attacking the guy by the way and what they did you notice it instantly that something's not right and it's what they've done is they sped it up to make him look faster in the fight scene because obviously he's just moving at a snail's pace but they've sped it up she's like oh look how fast these punches are it's brilliantly funny i don't know why they just use a stunt double you know what i mean i just have one throw punches for him because mario was obviously tired and then
00:20:34
Speaker
They sped up the footage afterwards and it's so good. It looks so hokey. It's a great film. Come on Craig, I don't want to get sued by anyone on the internet. I got emotional damage by listening to a chat tsunami recommendation under siege to go see it. It's like no for legal reasons. It's a joke.
00:20:52
Speaker
watch the face scene at the end on YouTube. Yeah, pretty much, yeah. Don't watch anything else, just watch the scene with the guy. Oh no, it's Robocop. Do you know what's a weird thing? It's this Mandela effect I've got. I always think, you know, when he falls off the train at the end of this explosion, for some reason I keep thinking he's the guy with his arms get longer for no reason, but that's Robocop and I don't know why I keep getting them mixed up. And then I watch Die Hard and I'm like, why is his arms looking
00:21:17
Speaker
kind of like, it's not die hard as a protocol, but there is one particular genre of bad films that are so good that I want to draw your attention to. That of course being the Nicholas Cage variety, which are so goofy and over the top that they are just chef kiss. Absolutely masterpieces of cinema, aren't they?
00:21:40
Speaker
I mean, the Wicker Man remake, I think, has been our favourite one. That was incredible. Just him
Indie Gems & Competent Cinematography
00:21:45
Speaker
running about an old town, punting people in the face. And a bear sit. And a bear sit till he dies at the end. Sorry, spoilers if you ask. Oh, who's going to watch Wicker Man?
00:21:53
Speaker
It did come out in like 2004 or something. I bet you there are people out there who are watching, you know, they get to the not the bees scene and then they just turn it off and go, what a great fall. I wonder who got out of that one. I will never know. Ironically enough, I think that's how the original one ends. But it's obviously more serious. I mean, the him getting burned alive in the wicker time are not like the bees. The thing is, that's actually a pretty good ending. If it wasn't for him screaming before it.
00:22:21
Speaker
yeah with these Nicholas Cage-isms. I love it so much. Because one of the ones, I don't even know if this can be considered as like a bad, like it's bad but it's actually growing on me as one of my favourite bad films, Willy's Wonderland. Have you seen this one?
00:22:43
Speaker
I have not. Oh, watch it, you will not regret it. It's basically about Nicholas Cage who, he is mute, ironically enough, he is mute throughout the entire film. He breaks down in the middle of nowhere and to pay for this car getting fixed they say, oh, go into this chucky cheese-esque
00:23:01
Speaker
place, you know, like five nights. And then, oh surprise, the animatronics are alive and he has to fight his way out. But half of the film is your stereotypical dumb teens going into this place getting picked off one by one. The other half is Nicholas Cage fighting these animatronics and that is the coolest thing ever. As one of those films that genuinely it was like the first time I watched the read, it just made me happy.
00:23:29
Speaker
I was like, this is sick. I love it. 10 out of 10. Well, not 10 out of 10, but you know, in terms of bad, I was so hard to really recommend it. But I mean, he has done so many. I mean, you've got your face offs. I think it's not even good films with him and it looked round and become kind of stinky because he's a, you know what I mean? Like I watched Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent recently. That's so good. And that's just like, it's terrible, but it's so good. It's perfect.
00:23:55
Speaker
in every way. I never knew that I wanted a film with Pedro Pascal and Nick Cage, but it was everything I wanted and more. I didn't know I wanted a film where Nicolas Cage didn't give up acting and just play themself and it was still incredible. He's just, oh no. The
Poor Adaptations & Internet Phenomena
00:24:10
Speaker
only thing I would talk at a point for is I saw the memes on TikTok and things before I actually saw the film.
00:24:19
Speaker
you know the exact meme I'm talking about when they look at one another and they're smiling and it's that song it's like make your own kind of music and Pedro Pascal's like smiling and that cage is just like looking as if he's done. That song is not in the film. The scene is obviously but that song isn't. God a moment literally when I was in a water zone so if I get off
00:24:39
Speaker
that song came on and she looked at me with a Nic Cage face and I looked at her with a pinch of her scalp. It's just so happy. But one of the other films that I want to bring attention to quickly is a film that you and I have said is a great film and it's that blend of
00:24:56
Speaker
people who are either film students or indie creators that make their own films, and whether it's a fan film or it's their own particular project, one of the ones that always has stood out to me is Space Trucker Bruce.
00:25:11
Speaker
I actually remember this was one of the earlier ones that we watched in Waffle Weddings days and it was so good, surprisingly. So there was a list for Waffle Weddings of like, well I rated all the films and we tried to put them in because I'm kind of older and there was a couple that we watched that didn't belong in the list.
00:25:27
Speaker
don't think it belonged on the list because it was unironically a brilliant film but basically it was like this guy made his own sci-fi film for like ten thousand dollars over the course of like six years like just a passion project of this guy and it was really really really good.
00:25:42
Speaker
It was like really heartfelt, really funny. It was a blast and we went into expecting to kind of laugh at it and then by the end we were like, it took us along for the journey. We were completely in the wrong to ever expect it to be bad. I'm going to go as far as the end as probably one of the better ones I've ever seen in the sense of I was expecting so little and so for it to blow me away like that, it was like a complete 180. It was probably one of my favourite finds that we found in the entire time we did it. Yeah, space trucker Bruce.
00:26:07
Speaker
No, it is surprising. See when you get a film that is just made with such love and passion for it, because it is something that you see it attempted. Going back to Burdemic, you see this guy who really wanted to make a love story, but instead he got them to run into places, shoved a camera in their face and then ran out again because he wasn't allowed to film there. You've got The Room Witch. What I will say in defence of The Room is it's one of those films that is shot
00:26:36
Speaker
really well. The cinematography is actually very, very competent and I don't know if it's just because it's something that we are not used to watching bad films because that is something as well that does make a good bad film if it's shot competently. Is that infamous scene in Taken 3 where there's like 20 cuts of Liam Neeson jumping over a face?
00:26:57
Speaker
that will never not baffle and confuse me to think why did it take so many cuts just to show you throwing Liam Neeson over a fence. But yeah, it feels as if cinematography definitely is one of those things but in terms of passion, nah, I wouldn't say it's great but one of the tropes that I do think is quite bad
00:27:18
Speaker
I'm curious to hear what you have to say about this is someone trying to twist an original story into their vision but just utterly
Passion & Monster Movies
00:27:27
Speaker
messing it up. Taking a family-friendly icon, for example Silent Night, Deadly Night and then turning Santa into a killer which obviously Silent Night, Deadly Night probably wasn't the first. There was one of but definitely not the first or you had What in Honey for Winnie the Pooh or you had Slender Man, ha ha, for legal reasons that's a joke.
00:27:47
Speaker
But, you know, you have all these films trying to be avant-garde. Oh, look, it's a new twist on the story, but they never do it right. I think the jokes done weren't gone. You know what I mean? I think that's the point with these kind of films. It's like, aha, look, Santa's a murderer. That's a pretty funny four panel
00:28:04
Speaker
comic. Especially when they go for like the horror or the shock value, I think it's much harder to do that kind of story. And obviously there's been thousands upon thousands of successful films and movies where they've taken something to us to their context. But typically these shocking horror films, it's usually horror films are like action. And yet the joke could have been a piece of paper. You know, that's usually what happens. It's like, Oh, isn't it funny that Winnie the Pooh is violent? Yeah, I guess that's pretty funny.
00:28:26
Speaker
And then you have to sit there for another hour and a half. One of the other ones, not really an adaptation as such, but one of the ones that I noted down was Baby Geniuses. I remember watching it when I was younger and I feel as if my fight or flight instinct has kicked in where I've just repressed 90%.
00:28:47
Speaker
film but there's just some slivers that come through every now and then where it's like you remember when they CGI'd a baby dancing to Night Fever even though it was made in the 90s or they had a really creepy scene between a baby and the homeless person you're like what was that film but again it's that idea that they've thought oh what would happen if you know babies could talk what would they say and it's like we've already got that adaptation that's called The Bloody Rugra
00:29:15
Speaker
worse or I suppose then you go into things like how good the duck territory were. It's like what would happen?
Conclusion: Enjoyable Qualities of Bad Films
00:29:21
Speaker
I don't know that's based off the comic and everything but it's like what would happen if we had a full mouth duck? What would happen if Gary Busey was hit by a car and turned into a dog? Oh I forgot about that! For those of you who don't know that is a real film. What was that called? Do you demand that? It was called, I actually was googling it to say it's called Quickly.
00:29:40
Speaker
I forgot about that. That's another one I've replaced, because it's the weirdest and most disturbing film I think I've watched in my life, where, as you said, he gets hit by a car. He turns into a dog for some reason, but the dog is jumping up on children's laps and everything. Yeah, like in people's faces. Yeah, and he's got a collar when he turns back to human, and it's supposed to be this, oh, endearing, oh, your family-friendly adventure. And I'm like, this isn't fun.
00:30:08
Speaker
this is horrible. No, just stop making garube, you see. Whimsical. This isn't going to work, guys. It's on YouTube. It's okay if you need to know, yeah. For legal reasons, the views expressed tonight by Craigie C. do not represent the entire transatlantic community. I will be issuing a cease and desist after. You see what you can and the homage is done.
00:30:29
Speaker
you know what I'm saying? It's just so many films you just sit there and you think why and I think as well that is definitely a thing that differentiates a good bad film from a bad film. If you have things like Samurai Cop or Kung Fury or something like that where they go out to parody a particular genre and again it's debatable as you said putting that on the list but like with Space Drucker Bruce they wanted to make a love letter to these sci-fi films
00:30:56
Speaker
But then you get films like Bone Alone, where it's literally just home alone with dogs. And I've got to ask the question, why? Who hurt you and why? This is one that we do see a lot of, isn't it? Dog-related ones, obviously quickly. Bone Alone. Cats and Dogs. Cats and Dogs. Russell O' Mania, which was a Jack Russell that became a wrestler. Santa Paws, Santa Claus, various sort of jokes on that. Yeah, but obviously all the air bud. I think dogs just sell well, maybe. And that's why people think they can make it. It would be easy to make a film with a dog in it.
00:31:25
Speaker
Well, there's also cat forms as well. You know, I know they kind of go hand in hand or paw in paw. I didn't say you came to Chatsunami for that. I agree. But I mean, there was one that they did for, do you remember Grumpy Cat?
00:31:41
Speaker
Yeah, apparently they made a film of Grumpy Cat. The only exposure I've had to it was watching someone else to review it because I thought, you know what, life's too short. I'd rather watch this 10 or 20 minute video recapping it rather than me going in and watching it blind. But this actually has seen where they showed them euthanising Grumpy Cat. What? Yeah, they put like a gas mask over them. It's like, oh, go to bed. And you're like, right, there's no purpose there.
00:32:07
Speaker
There was no thought. They just thought, we've got grumpy cat. And I know, again, that's all hanging through as well. If we go into internet-based films, you know, you've got your Smosh movie and things like that. And I think there was that smiley film where they tried to make memes.
00:32:25
Speaker
which you don't have to tell me twice. I'm on TikTok. I'm already threatened by Gen Z memes when I don't understand them. I'm like, why is there a hot dog dancing? I don't get it. Oh, you don't get the rich intricacies. But you know, you get the ones like Slender Man or something really weird recently. It was a Spanish one called the Killer Book Club. I think I've just resigned myself to the fact that I just don't like horror films. Not because they scare me, but most of them are just so bad.
00:32:52
Speaker
especially Slender Man. Do not waste your time. It's not even a ha ha so bad it's good film but it's just disgusting. I slept and then I woke up and nothing had happened except some lassie was screaming because oh no the Slender Man. Which I don't get how you can be so scared about someone with such an immaculate suit. That's the scary thing is like how he keeps it so immaculate. Exactly. I mean he's trialing and Bill's must be doing it right. That's a real terror.
00:33:16
Speaker
financial debt of Slender Man. Someone make that into a film. I don't care if it's like a James Cameron five-hour calve, an iRacks. I want to feel the steam. JL just haven't sitting looking at his tax returns for like three hours. And just explosions in between them. Two out of ten, too much talking. I was gonna say Logan Paul walks out two minutes in.
00:33:40
Speaker
Before we wrap up though, would you say there's anything else that differentiates the gold standard of bad films from just regular guff? I think we've kind of touched on it and I think it has to be like a passion project. I think that's what makes them good. We mentioned Samurai Corp but that was like a love letter to action movies. My guy didn't understand how to make action films. The room obviously, it was his passion. I know he's tried to disown it later, the director thing was old, but that was a passion project as well.
00:34:07
Speaker
You can tell the films, a lot of them that we did watch for the movie club, a lot of them were bad because they were just cash grabs. Like ice pirates. Like ice pirates. But some of them were pretty good and even the ones that were kind of cash grabs usually had someone in it, like where it was an actor, where it was someone doing the effects, someone was
00:34:22
Speaker
going mental for this film, you know what I mean? A lot of people lose a lot of money in these films just because they're so passionate about it and I think that's what separates a good bad film from a bad bad film is that level of just passion, creativity, stupidity. I guess love makes people blind and I guess when you love your own projects you can't see how bad they are.
00:34:39
Speaker
That's what makes it so good. Yeah, that would kind of be my conclusion to all. No, I could have said it better myself, to be honest. No, you're completely right. It is one of those fine lines that on the one hand, most of these films that we've put in this list, I don't think they go out to be bad films. Like, there's some films that are so bad and they try to be bad, like that. Is it Film 42 or something like that? Film something? Or Film 43? Yeah, I know what you're talking about, isn't it? Movie 43?
00:35:08
Speaker
yeah, movie 40 was like Hugh Jackman and all of these like eight-less celebrities, it was just awful script writing, it was like awful jokes and things, just because of like, oh, wouldn't it be funny if we did this or we did that? And if you're gonna go into purposely trying to make a bad film, it's like if you and I came in and made it purposely bad,
00:35:29
Speaker
podcasts or a bad delights play or something, you know, people are going to know. They're going to easily pick up because as much as I weep for humanity when I see the next Transformers song come out, people aren't stupid. They'll know when the film is bad. They might still consume it and rinse and repeat. Just ask Pokรฉmon fans. The legal reasons, that's another joke.
00:35:50
Speaker
Yeah, if you're trying to create something either out of love or out of, yeah, just genuine passion, that is going to shine through. Unlike Sharknado, which I have to admit I haven't watched, but I'm going to be honest, now they're all in what? Sharknado 20 or something?
00:36:07
Speaker
Well, it's worth the Sharknado. I know we've got to just play with it real quick on all the Asylum monster movies and I do believe there's someone in that studio that loves monster movies and they are just terrible but it's because they are monster movies and I think monster movies are in their own special category because they're hard to be good but I do think there are people who do and genuinely enjoy making the Sharknado films. I think there's a second enjoyment of people that make them.
00:36:29
Speaker
Yeah, there is that pocket of people who are like monster movie fans. For example, when you and I watched Godzilla versus King Ghidorah, and that was just so bad, but it was just so entertaining that it didn't really matter, did it? Whether it was a bad film or not. Like, especially with the effects and everything, and the same for all these hokey monster films.
00:36:54
Speaker
Yeah, and I think things like Godzilla versus King of the Earth, that was pretty high budget, which is, I think, a big plus because, again, that was like someone's passion project. Godzilla is like a passion project. It's like a film that's maybe going to work on. So that's what makes those films so good. Monster movies, I think, do get a bad rap, but they're also usually a pretty good goldmine for this stuff. So at the end of the day, if you're looking for a bad film,
00:37:13
Speaker
Feel free to check out some of the ones we've mentioned. We have actually also reviewed and talked about some of these bad films. As I said, we did a great watch along with Godzilla versus King Ghadira. We also did Japanese Spider-Man as well, which is arguably on the same level. Adam and I talked about Bone Alone and Silent Night Deadly Night. One of the films we should actually talk about is Santa with Muscles. Let's do it. I'd be thrilled
00:37:41
Speaker
Yeah, because I feel as if it's one of those films that I've yet to talk about, and I feel as if I'm in a safe space to talk about it with you. I'm glad you feel that way. But I mean, between that, the amount of Hulk Hogan films, Samurai Cop, maybe not Burdemic, that's kind of a hit or a miss. You know, you've got What Was Wonderland, as I said. To be honest, those kind of films are so bad but so entertaining, just
00:38:06
Speaker
go and look at your own discretion and if you hate it, we are not to blame. I don't know what a chat tsunami is, do you? Erm, no. And at the end of the day, not taking responsibility is what I do best. And on that note Craig, thank you so much for coming on tonight. My pleasure. I think I'm away to go watch the 1981 American action movie where they filmed it in an actual safari park and a lot of people got hurt cold raw. So I'll chat to you later.
00:38:32
Speaker
Did they actually? Oh, one times. I've got it on Blu-ray. OK, I am just going to prepare the car to come over. I'll get the snacks and everything. I'll be right over. But as I'm driving over, if you want to listen to more of our episodes while I'm away, you can check out our website, Chatsunami.com, as well as all good podcast apps. Just look for the right panda under the name Chatsunami and we'll see you there.
00:38:57
Speaker
I also want to give a huge shout out to our Pandalorian patrons, Robotic BattleToaster and Sonya, thank you so so much for supporting the channel. But until then, stay safe, stay awesome, stay hydrated and for legal reasons, this episode has been a joke. Steven Seagal, please don't come for me.
00:39:14
Speaker
Welcome to Chatanami, a variety podcast that discusses topics from gaming and films to anime and journal interests. Previously on Chatanami, we've analysed what makes a good horror game, conducted a retrospective on Pierce Brosnan's runs James Bond, and listened to us take deep dives into both the Sonic and Halo franchises.
00:39:33
Speaker
Also, if you're an anime fan, then don't forget to check us out on our sub-series, Chatsunani, where we dive into the world of anime. So far, we've reviewed things like Death Note, Princess Mononoke, and the hit Beyblade series. If that sounds like your cup of tea, then you can check us out on Spotify, iTunes, and all good podcast apps. As always, stay safe, stay awesome, and most importantly, stay hydrated. You know all those enthusiastic international film podcasts?
00:40:01
Speaker
Yeah, this isn't one of those. Welcome to Review It Yourself, the podcast with the Psy, film reviews with no politics, no pandering, and absolutely no point. No wacky intros, no segments, no blaring music, just a rather pessimistic Englishman talking about films with a guest. You can tell why no one's listening, can you?