Transcript
David Isaacs: Hello everyone, it is September 9th, that time of recording. As always, I'm joined by our friend Brian.
The Big Dog: ah thanks for having me uh sorry i was in the middle of a yawn not that uh your intro is boring i just uh it's been a long week and it's only technically my second work day of the week so But happy to be here and hi everyone.
David Isaacs: Yeah. It's good to have less. days of work. But it's really like five days of work in four days, it seems like. so
The Big Dog: Yeah, for sure. I agree with that 100%.
David Isaacs: So that's kind of the same thing as is for me. I was just telling Brian we got to keep this one short just because I got to jump back on the the train. The workload has increased quite a bit.
David Isaacs: and One of our... One. this. There's one particular week during in the month that's the busiest. and just so i happens to be this week and i had a day off Well, we all had a day off for Labor Day.
David Isaacs: So hope everyone had a great Labor Day. And I hope work's not kicking your ass like it is ours.
The Big Dog: Yeah. um It. It. as much as i i took friday off so you know i had a four day weekend which was great to kind of just unplug and everything but to come back from you know being off Two less days in the last two weeks, really.
The Big Dog: Sucked so went from not worrying about anything so worrying about everything so I get that.
David Isaacs: Yeah. Here. Um... Nice and start off. what I was going to talk about, but. um Yeah, I know it's been... a little while.
David Isaacs: since we got on. Chatted. Um, And I think we talked. a lot about you know kind of ebbs and flows and trying to appreciate the good times and be grateful for what you have because you know.
David Isaacs: Not that. Not that. I know bad things are coming. um but it's Just kind of like the motion through life, I guess, that you have. Good times, you have bad times. um Unfortunately, someone close to me is having a bad time right now.
David Isaacs: and um you know From initial thoughts, it sounded... pretty bad. But as the days have gone on, the prognosis has seemed better.
David Isaacs: And there's a good path forward. Um, but Yeah, dealing with... they were dealing with. kind of intrusive thoughts and i know how they are i think they just were so worried about why they were having those thoughts that they just kind of continued it's like if someone tells you not to think of a pink elephant then that's all you think about So telling yourself to like.
David Isaacs: stop thinking about this particular thing is going to... continue to have you think of it. Um, And I've had my own issues with it, similarly with anxiety. And... you know thinking why am i so worried why am i worried why am i worried um then you get in this loop and then it's very hard to break end.
David Isaacs: I think that's kind of like what it was, just that a... a larger scale. Um... but they had been Dealing with it. um Went to the hospital.
David Isaacs: Apparently they... lied about them feeling better and then it happened again So... Um, Yeah, some... members of my family have been visiting with them, checking in on them.
David Isaacs: know trying to help them out. But, uh... It. Seems like it's kind of like an OCD thing. And I kind of attribute it to... my anxiety or my panic attacks that I've dealt with in the past. similarly I know not every situation is similar but I kind of have that feeling of. you know kind of just being caught in the whirlpool.
David Isaacs: or just swirling around and there's not really a Much of it ends in sight. You're just kind of being taken by the current. So... Um... Yeah, I I think it just went on for so long for so long. earth It went on for so long.
David Isaacs: that it just kind of reached a tipping point. Um, And again, to... equate my own experiences to that it was like I would. push things down i would not take care of things. I think it wasn't a big deal.
David Isaacs: But. There's a lot in life I think that affects us more than we... realize. Whether it's bad or good. Um, But, uh... It can definitely. pile up over time.
David Isaacs: And... Cause kind of that tipping moment, which is what I think has happened Um, but Thankfully they do. or getting help. Um,
David Isaacs: we'll get help to learn how to manage And. take care of some of the things that you know kind of pile up in the dark that we're not too focused on.
David Isaacs: Um, We'll see you guys next time. Also a similar issue of mine for a long time. and um Luckily I haven't had to... deal with it i've had good success in managing it.
David Isaacs: And... with uh No one to watch the dog. Last couple of days, I am grateful for. the support system that i have as i know Not everyone has a great support system. that were able to come over sit with the dog so she didn't have to be in the crate all day or just let her out.
David Isaacs: um while I was away. so Really grateful for that. and Yeah, there's... hopeful that. This person I know can... get the help they need. and work with the tools that they're given to manage.
David Isaacs: manage their own mental health more in the future.
The Big Dog: Yeah. um It's always scary, especially You know, so when it happens, somebody. you know. close to you and you know that you care about So.
The Big Dog: Um, yeah i'm glad that they're getting... treatment and you know it sounds like they Yeah, it sounds like they are. you know at least getting better and um but yeah to kind of go back it's I think we Sometimes I equate mental health to... being like our like shocks and like shocks on a car Um,
The Big Dog: you know, You don't really think about it, but you probably go over bumps and. Um, you know. Potholes and all that You know, they say, I think, a thousand times per week, um you know, and.
The Big Dog: shocks are pretty important to the car they're what stop you from you know shaking all over and you know if you're from You as a driver or the passenger really feeling. that effects right so if like we're driving on our our brain um we may not necessarily always feel such shock but especially a thousand times a day or per week when driving um but sometimes it it just adds up right and and just like with
The Big Dog: Cars. we need to always perform our kind of regular maintenance which is easier said than done i mean you know when i was Younger, and in my 20s, I never took my...
The Big Dog: my car maintenance seriously and you know I was always seemed to always be shocked when I had to pay thousands of dollars to have certain things like um you know, tie rod. i mean not that that that's not a mechanic but i don't know if those are similar but you know again i was just my overall point is that i wasn't taking the regular scheduled maintenance to make sure my car lasts. So I think kind of taking that logic of our mental health, if we don't.
The Big Dog: And I'm not saying that this this this person didn't, but... you know, if things kind of creep up on you and you just kind of. ignore them. or maybe not admit to ourselves that we're not always okay.
The Big Dog: um you know Dead. things like this can, can, can happen. And, you know, and even then, like sometimes they really can just creep up. Like, you know, um, I was talking about this with a coworker, but I, you know, I, I go back to when my wife, my wife was suffering from postpartum. right after my son was born. And she was not the same person she is. Now. um you know or or before so you know, she was really affected everything. Like.
The Big Dog: had changed. You know, it could be a hormonal events could be anything, but. um it sucks and you know Um, We just got to really.
The Big Dog: put more of an effort into recognizing that we have these feelings but we're experiencing them Um, You know, and and I've... Ice. speak for a lot because like I've been um under a lot of felt like I've been under a lot of pressure at work and, you know.
The Big Dog: my my boss has kind of come down a little bit harder you know she's always admitted of being like non -confrontational you know just and like we don't necessarily have deadlines at our work but there are times of like why is this taking so long and then kind of starts pushing down and you're like Here you are thinking that. maybe everything is good and you know you're doing Great job. But then.
The Big Dog: you know you're not i wasn't doing the necessary things to make sure like asking the right questions of, hey, is there a due date on any of these things? Or like, what should we prioritize over this? You know, you you make your best.
The Big Dog: case and again sometimes these things just kind of
The Big Dog: can really just kind of come out of of nowhere. so um Taking time to like... Do all the prep work and all the scheduled maintenance. It's hard and things that you kind of have to build up over time. I mean, you know.
The Big Dog: ah Even like a few weeks ago, you know, I was all gung -ho. I was like, yeah, I cleaned up my cleaned up basement. You know, I got my gym set up. um You know, I threw out all the the clutter that's down here, got rid of all the trash. um You know, i I built cube storage units for my my side of the bedroom because I...
The Big Dog: i feel more successful and when i can see like all of my clothes rather than it being in a dresser And like I had all that attitude, but then it kind of just like. fell off because of my own lack of consistency And like their clothes on the floor, like I was like, you know, it's kind of starting to get down on myself. But then.
The Big Dog: you know. Um, It's something as simple as cleaning up my room made me and yeah like last night just made me feel a whole tons better and I'm kind of like. you know in a different mental space so i guess it's just kind of like my long -winded form of saying um You know if we become more aware of how we're feeling and do the necessary checks and balances we need to keep her mental health, you know, we can.
The Big Dog: Be better prepared, but also um especially and To kind of piggyback on that. we become if we better prepare so we can become less surprised when things like this happen and we're you know maybe a little bit better um situated for it but You know, again. that and I also kind of contradict myself. All the stuff we can't predict and things build up over time. and Um...
The Big Dog: Or they can just... just come up from quickly and we don't, we don't know. Right. Like. um I definitely understand about intrusive thoughts. you know i there are times when i get really stressed out where i think everyone's the enemy and they're just trying to like you know, attack me in one certain way or another. and you know Maybe I take things the wrong way. Um,
The Big Dog: So, yeah, I get it, and I hope this person... I'm glad. and One, I hope that... They really do. recover 100 and you know it's like almost like it didn't happen and you know they They do the necessary things to.
The Big Dog: To get help and continue to get help and just utilize that support support system like, you know, you've done, David. and you know i hope that you yourself are doing. you know okay.
The Big Dog: I'm doing the... the things to ah to feel better.
David Isaacs: Yeah. No, I think your your maintenance. Um, Talking about maintenance is a really good metaphor. Um, Like it's expensive. It doesn't really.
David Isaacs: You don't really feel great about it but it's necessary. And...
The Big Dog: Exactly.
David Isaacs: I think the Exercise like I think about exercise or work or things that I just have to get done It's like my mantra is like. Sucks but necessary.
David Isaacs: Um,
The Big Dog: Yep.
David Isaacs: And then... also dealing with the ebbs and flows in life it's like okay well when i'm doing well When I'm feeling up to the task today, then I need to. you know, put. cube organizer in the room or clean up the basement and set the gym up or something like preparing yourself for the inevitable which is At some point I'm going to have to deal with something that sucks.
David Isaacs: So... Let me... you know take care of things now or as I go along to take care of things. um And really. I guess. I struggle with associating that feeling of accomplishment. of that accomplish that feeling of peace of mind.
David Isaacs: doing small things like not really I can't really see like the effort that it takes to do things, you know, I'd never associated with it, but there's a lot, I think in our lives that are.
The Big Dog: Yeah.
David Isaacs: Not that difficult to do, but we're just not. aware of. some of the problems that we have. and maybe like or how much things affect us that we brush a lot of things off but we don't really have a good idea as to how much you know Oh. all these small things are going to add up or maybe that small thing is actually a big thing even though we say we don't care about it.
David Isaacs: Um, But it works in the same sense, too, of doing something small for yourself that's positive and that. feeling of accomplishment or success or peace of mind that can come along with it and it really goes a long way Me.
David Isaacs: talking with my therapist like all the time she's like you're doing a lot better i'm like i i don't think so I...
The Big Dog: Right.
David Isaacs: Not that I don't think so, but it's just, you know, there's not an immediate payoff. And I think for me, I just need some of that immediate payoff. So. Um, I've learned that I'm very good at doing work. I'm very good at.
David Isaacs: you know hitting deadlines and thinking about things communicating articulating um like more in that structured view but outside of that it's all abstract you becoming an adult, you don't. Thank you.
David Isaacs: technically don't have to do anything. Um... But the things that you... do. Um, You just got to make sure you do. a lot more positive than you do negative um But, you know, over time.
David Isaacs: eating unhealthy not exercising not drinking water if you want to
David Isaacs: Um, drink alcohol or... you know not be social or something like these things that are negative just weigh on you And... Along the way, I mean, you could be doing fine, but along the way something's gonna happen and setting yourself up for success when you know times are tough is really important. So.
David Isaacs: Um, Yeah. You know, I... Like I've said before, like grateful to have you around, friends. and other other people that and I know I'll step up when I need them to.
David Isaacs: Um, which has happened this week I've had. a couple different people watch the dog um so very grateful for it like i had mentioned before um even small things like this like recording the podcast.
David Isaacs: brian i'll admit some days i'm like i don't really feel like recording it's nothing against you it's just you know some of those days and like i just don't
The Big Dog: i
David Isaacs: It's not that I have to force myself to do it, but it's like, ah you know. We don't do it today, that wouldn't be the worst thing. um But keeping this is kind of that
David Isaacs: like something that I don't want to concede on. doing. Because I do think. you know i certainly get a ah lot out of it and i hope you do too But... And... Whoever is listening, I hope you also do.
David Isaacs: but um Yeah, some days it's just tougher.
The Big Dog: Yeah. ah David, I'm going to say Bo. It's like nothing thing against you.
David Isaacs: Oh man, that's fucked up.
The Big Dog: There's just like...
David Isaacs: yeah
The Big Dog: Yeah. No, it's everything against you now. um yeah no there i mean there are days like where i'm like You know, it'll be. you know we usually record you know, six o 'clock most, most times that we record. um You know, it's like.
The Big Dog: uh it would be like 12 o 'clock and i'm like yeah i got so many topics and i got so many things and i get through my work day i'm like okay i have less things to talk about You know, because I'm just like not feeling it. Right. And then it's like 545 and I'm like, I don't feel like doing this.
The Big Dog: I'm like, please, David, just say you're not doing it. So I don't feel bad saying that we have to. Right. But. uh you know to your point it's like we got to force our things force ourselves to do the things that we don't want to do. um to make yourselves feel better which sounds counterintuitive but you know,
The Big Dog: I know. like as sad it as it is it's like me cleaning up this basement and like you know finally cleaning up my my side of the bedroom so it didn't look like a complete shithole made me feel so much better and it felt like such a turning point in my life which again kind of feels sad to say out loud but like It is really sometimes just that simple. And again, you know. Fully admit.
The Big Dog: hand raise that i'm only can be a complete lazy slob if i were to just like if society were just to like completely reset itself and we could live our way live our life how we wanted to i would just i would never go outside i'd play video games I would not, I talked to as very few people as I possibly could.
The Big Dog: But at the end of the day, that's not reality. That's not good for mental health. And, you know, I look at myself before I did all of those things and like. you know I feel happier now.
The Big Dog: Post. July 2026. than I did before. and like i'm married i've had a child i have a very successful career going finally like Sometimes it just takes...
The Big Dog: that little attention to detail to Maybe you're. really stitched all together right like that final puzzle piece of you completing that Um,
The Big Dog: To really make me feel... You know like we're like I'm whole And. You know. ah i'll still admit that i'm humpty dumpty you know if i fall off my wall or whatever the hell he sat on i forget him completely b blanking but there are times where it might take all the king's men and all the king's horses to put me back together again but um You know, I feel that I'm.
The Big Dog: Stronger mentally than I was Again. three months ago three years ago Um, You know, I'm 37, so I could... you know I don't want to...
The Big Dog: keep perpetuating that but i really don't think that most people know truly know themselves until they're in their 30s somebody had told me that Like when I was like 19, I'm like, that's bullshit. Like.
The Big Dog: I'm gonna be like a million i actually didn't have this up i'm like i'm gonna be like a successful person i'm gonna be a millionaire by the time i'm 30 i'm gonna be able to retire get on a pension all these illusions of grandeur Because I just didn't want to put accept reality and put that in. put that work in, but.
The Big Dog: um you know.
The Big Dog: Again, and also kind of to piggyback. or back to my point of you know just doing these small little things it's like you know my wife had put off doing laundry for like a month and a half and like we were like you know it felt down like we were down to like you know Turning our underwear inside out. But like, I can't.
The Big Dog: I wasn't going to really say anything. I just kept saying like, Hey, do you want me to to do this? She's like, no, no. Well, she finally went to the, to the laundromat or for me kind of like, she's like, yeah, I'll do it. But then it was kind of hesitating. And like, I kind of liked that a ah final push and. You know, she was there for.
The Big Dog: six or seven hours doing. most of it was just folding but she finally did and she's like I'm tired, but I feel so much better And then.
The Big Dog: part As part of this extended weekend, we cleaned out. well She cleaned out the our back room. which in Eleven. 11 and a half. 1100 square foot house you know having a whole room just wall the wall of stuff is a lot of space gone so um You know, we're we're both other people of, like...
The Big Dog: If we look at something like that, we don't know where to start. We just sit and stress out about it and don't actually do it. Um, So she finally did it and she's like. you know it didn't take up my entire weekend you know.
The Big Dog: The background is better. We donated things. And I feel great. So it's just like taking those little minor steps that we always talk about. And... Like you're just setting yourself up for a better.
The Big Dog: a better self in the future. you know, and you don't really. understand those dividends until you come to a point like this where You know, maybe it's like you're.
The Big Dog: if It's like you're the person that you're. you're talking about who you know is currently going through a mental episode or you know if it's you you know kind of dealing with that but like there's two to there's like a a fork right that you come to in a row it's like are you this person or that person you know did you prepare And try to be.
The Big Dog: prepare the best or did you just like kind of Wing it. and not do that now again i don't know this person at all so i feel generally bad saying like they didn't do the things that they were supposed to do because that's not that's not the case everyone's different but um You know, I just speak for myself personally that I know Um, I feel better than I did three months ago and three years ago. So
David Isaacs: Yeah. Um... No, I think it just... Again, it comes down to like lack of awareness. what works, what's not working, what's affecting you negatively.
David Isaacs: and what's affect affecting you positively. And I think. You know, we're all in it. We're all individual in terms of the problems that we have and the solutions that make things work.
David Isaacs: um but i get like some people just don't really think that they ever uh Maybe some people just... Had learned. a long time ago to be able to process things better.
David Isaacs: And they've... never really had to learn. Whereas... um Well, everyone has to learn. like something but you know Maybe that has happened where they haven't had to with to deal with so much.
David Isaacs: Um... But I think it can be a wake -up call, and I'm hoping that it is. to them knowing like you have to find a way to manage this. But I know from my own experience and how much time it takes and how individual my solution is to somebody else's solution.
David Isaacs: And if you were. to talk about anxiety. and all the different kinds and shapes and forms of what people deal with. Um... End. what solutions that they have. It's all going to be incredibly different from what they deal with and the solutions that they found and what works for them.
David Isaacs: and that, so. Yeah, my hope is that. They find a solution that's positive for what they're dealing with and then also affects them positively instead of... Maybe doing things that are...
David Isaacs: maybe affects them. wholly negatively, but my fix, you know. in the short term what they're dealing with. um So yeah, I mean, it's all just... a Like we talked about before, kind of just a guessing game until you figure it out.
David Isaacs: And as you get older, I think you learn more about yourself and what works and what doesn't. and you kind of gravitate more towards what works. So yeah I do think that's definitely part of it.
David Isaacs: um To go back to the... Sunday is it. Just don't want to do the podcast. Like sometimes I'll just microdose cancelling. by just pushing it back like 10 -15 minutes um and still end up doing it.
The Big Dog: and
David Isaacs: You know, I kind of do the same thing with the gym or other things. but Yeah, I think just... in general, to pay off for certain things. like We've never really... had a chance to experience it or it's harder to remember how good it feels to do something. or how bad it feels to do something that's negative.
David Isaacs: um i think we kind of lose that in her mind and it gets just kind of gets washed away after time so um It's like. grateful for this to be. the podcast and recording and having that steady state and something that I can rely on every week or every couple of weeks to.
David Isaacs: you know sit down and talk through some things And sometimes it's good. Sometimes it's not. but I think that. It was kind of a... It paints the picture for and not everything's always rosy.
David Isaacs: And we know it's not supposed to be. And... hopefully. you know. somebody can listen to this and take away from it what they will and just hope that it's positive.
The Big Dog: Yeah, I think to your point of, you know avoid oh We're all saved. Podcast avoidance syndrome, whatever you want to call it. um You know. I kind of relate it to... my son you know he's five going on six and You know, my wife and I are...
The Big Dog: Uh... yeah we're introvert extroverts or extroverted introverts whatever word naturally introverted but we are when occasion calls were outgoing but you know it's hard for us to sometimes push that upon our son to be You know, when we go to like school functions. um to
The Big Dog: you know be social with other kids and because we're we're awkward like you know but any we so it's hard for us to kind of push that upon him but we we do it anyway right we have to step kind of step out outside of our own comfort zone and in that regard.
The Big Dog: Um, But we feel good about it afterwards. You know, it's like, hey, we. we did this. We, it was a lot. learning lesson for us and for our son and we You know, we probably.
The Big Dog: Could have done a lot better, but we at least did it. um you know nothing was set on fire you know the house is still standing not that that would be the two things would be related but kind of feels like that mentality sometimes Um,
The Big Dog: you know and i was I was coming back to this quote that I heard from Matthew McConaughey. It's like the hardest thing about going to the gym is putting your tennis shoes on. or tying your tennis shoes, um you know.
The Big Dog: We can set. on the porch And watch cars go by. Or we can... go for a walk and reap the benefits. Um, You know, you can people watch or you can go be amongst the people, right?
The Big Dog: Um,
The Big Dog: there's There's a lot of different paths to... It's a victory and I think knowing yourself and um having that self -awareness to say Hey I need help.
The Big Dog: or um you know Hey, I'm feeling a certain way. like maybe feel like you need to be heard. um you just don't know how to do it Um,
The Big Dog: it. kind of takes us does take a certain point or character to to be able to do that and to admit that. um and you know
The Big Dog: my or my parents generation uh maybe they were raised to say that was weakness but so we've kind of suffered that generational trauma and things that i've unpacked of saying like i don't need to be stubborn i i Don't need to withhold things. I don't think that everything everyone is kind of about to get me um you know
The Big Dog: it's just taking a step back and kind of like almost like a dr strange moment when he gets his body kind of punched out of them. in the first movie And it's just seeing.
The Big Dog: that surreal moment. of Can I do this? Am I strong enough? Am I good enough? And the answer to all of that is yes. You just have to be able to tie your tennis shoes and take that first step off the porch.
David Isaacs: Yeah. um Not well said. Don't be too afraid to. have an experience. oftentimes it's not as difficult as you imagine once you put your mind to and commit to it
The Big Dog: Exactly.
David Isaacs: Whether that's going to the gym and just getting in the car. or you know, whatever it is asking for help. sending a text message, I think.
David Isaacs: to someone. what you've done. thousands, hundreds, thousands of times about the context. for it matters. you know putting on your shoes to go to the gym versus go to work or go shopping or do something fun i mean the context of it's different but it's a lot harder to do Um...
David Isaacs: Depending on where you're going and what you're saying. That's a Alright. yeah my i don't know if you've heard my dog crying but
The Big Dog: I don't...
David Isaacs: See ya.
The Big Dog: I did, but I'm good and I gotta go.
David Isaacs: Yeah, I gotta go too, but Ryan. It's nice talking with you as always. to everyone that made it through the episode. I hope you enjoyed it. Hope you took something.
David Isaacs: out of it And we hope to see you next time.
The Big Dog: Yeah, thanks for sharing that, David. I appreciate hope the person's doing better. I hope you're doing better too. and Do hope. we help even if it's just one person this week i uh hope everyone has a good week and uh we'll talk to you soon thanks everybody
David Isaacs: Bye -bye.
