Transcript
Speaker: Hello, and welcome to Kalarindan, the Hyalurling Chronicles.
Speaker: Kalarindan is an actual play Dungeons & Dragons podcast in which we will actually play Dungeons & Dragons as a podcast. My name is David Case LeClaire, and I will be the narrator and game master for these sessions.
Speaker: Kalerinden is a world of magic and adventure, a world of fanciful forests, rambling rivers, and luminous libraries. It is a world perpetually beset by the forces of chaos, but every time the darkness returns, epic heroes rise to save the realm.
Speaker: But our story is not about the epic heroes, at least not directly. Our story is about three young adventurers that have recently agreed to carry the epic heroes' baggage.
Speaker: And joining me as the hardy hirelings, we have Dave Sturgis as... I am playing Fredegar from the the farms over there. And you have some ale that's gone off, you can boil it in a pot and add some mustard seeds and some licorice root.
Speaker: And, um mean, not to drink it, obviously. You just want to inhale the fumes. You realize if anyone listens to this, they may try recipes we give out. Don't try this at home.
Speaker: Unless you're a fur bulk. And we have Beth Gleason as... Lillia Thomas. And what Lillia likes to do for a cold is get some raspberry juice, add a little bit of honey into it, and heat it up.
Speaker: And she'll drink that. mean, I don't know if that's as good as licorice ale fumes, but it sounds pretty nice. Sorry. And then we have Drew Gleason as... Tarwinius Gorf Nozzle Snot.
Speaker: If snot have cold... Take toad and squeeze toad over bowl. Drink toad juice. Okay. Well, if anyone gets a cold, let us know if any of those work.
Speaker: In our last episode, after passing the rank 3 test by slaying the terrible beast Snaptooth, our adventurers returned to Mudpuddle, only to have their celebration interrupted by the arrival of the epic halfling wizard Sharnanon. After an introduction fraught with magic and mischief, our heroes agreed to a new epic quest, returning Sharnanon's library books.
Speaker: The morning dawns in Mud Puddle. Day is dusty and bright. Snot awakens on the doorstep of the Adventurers Guild with Muddy curled up on top of him.
Speaker: Why Muddy on top? Sometimes that happens when you're sleeping. Snot's always the first to wake up, I guess. Well, in this case, you're woken up because the door has just slammed shut.
Speaker: Oh. And there's a man, Carnivaceous Despicchio, standing on the doorstep, looking down at you. He looks a little bit annoyed. Oh.
Speaker: Uh... I'm going to do thing for you real soon. Darwinius Gorth Nazus Snot. I am... Yes?...disappointed. Snot is slowly crab-walking, back away from him.
Speaker: He doesn't look like he's going to get violent, but he does look very disappointed. But he does look angry. He says, i am very disappointed in you. I thought we could work together.
Speaker: I thought we had a deal. But I was wrong. Wait, uh, no. Snot is doing deal. Just take while.
Speaker: It is no matter now. I have found a new prospect. One that I expect shall be more agreeable. And now, sir, I bid you good day. Ah, bye.
Speaker: turns the sweep of his cloak and he stomps off of the doorstep. So was he in the inn and he just came out? That seems to be the case, unless he was standing out and just slammed the door for some reason.
Speaker: Well, drama queen. OK, what was he doing in the inn so early, I wonder? I was probably just stabbing people. I was about to say maybe, yeah, maybe he was stabbing some people in there and I should go check on that.
Speaker: All right. I don't know much about stabbing, so what am I going to do about it? You're more of a slapper or tickler.
Speaker: Uh, OOC? yes. All right. After this brief encounter, everybody it gets up relatively early. As you know, you have a task today. And... also have a dog sleeping on us.
Speaker: Well, one of you. One of you does. And you convene in the main room of the Adventuring Guild as Ednis brings out breakfast. ah Breakfast this morning is just salad with turnip slices and some eggs.
Speaker: So the continental breakfast. Yeah, it's a little meager. The lettuce doesn't even look that fresh. Ednes is kind of like, eh, sorry about this. We're just running a bit low on supplies. So no full Clarendons until the next supply wagon, I'm afraid.
Speaker: Snot is using his fingers to dig out the the egg slices from the salad. and eating them happily. He's very expensive now. Oh, that's Wigbald's fault.
Speaker: Said he was gonna lower prices, but guess what? Prize.
Speaker: Snot did not vote for him. Snot did not vote. I don't think there was much of vote as I remember. Mayors sort of just happened to you. Goodness is like, yeah, I know. And then now that carnivorous guy Can you believe a gall that guy?
Speaker: uh, having seen it firsthand, i I suppose I can't believe it. Yeah, he was just in here this morning making threats about shutting the place down for health code violations. For what now? Yeah, know.
Speaker: Snot stops halfway to putting an egg slice in his mouth. Uh... Eat your eggs, Snot. You gotta get big and strong. Okay.
Speaker: Is anybody else not digging into their salad? Fred is never not digging into food that he has. Yeah, figured. Lily will eat her salad, but not with her fingers. Because snot sorting through his and can't seem to find any more egg in there.
Speaker: I'll push over a little bit of my egg. The snot. The snot makes like he's swiping it When Ednes is bringing over some more turnip juice, she stops and says, Oh, ah Lily, by the way, I heard you were looking for some medicine from Dr. Ribcage.
Speaker: Well, he's not too reliable. I gathered that. Unless you want a love potion. yeah Those are pretty good. Um, no. Thank you. All right. Well, if you do, he's your guy.
Speaker: But at look, I think you are talking about curing poison. I recently ordered some antidote potions from Erlen's. He says they'll be in with the next supplier on.
Speaker: Ah, all right. I might not need them then, but I really do appreciate it. Yeah, I'll let you know. Thank you. Supplies a little late this week. I don't know why, but... Supplies are late? Would they have gotten waylaid?
Speaker: Oh, probably not. You know, these caravans are a little unreliable. Stonejaw's not the waylay caravan. They dead. We need stuff in that caravan. Our jackets and the backpacks.
Speaker: Maybe eggs. And eggs. As you're discussing this, Sharnanon comes in the front door, small halfling with gray robes.
Speaker: They come in, they say, Hello, hello, brave adventurers. I am Gitty for today's adventure. Ah, so exciting. Snot claps his hands over his ears. Comes a little closer to Snot and yelling, Can you hear me? Snot, can you hear me Yes, Snot can hear.
Speaker: You go away.
Speaker: You notice that today, Sharnadan has a name tag that is a little bit different. It says, hello, my name is Sharna, and my pronouns are she, her. Oh. Ah, yes, today we are doing the fe magic. Ah, so exciting. Um,
Speaker: Miss Sharna, question for you.
Speaker: Is there any chance could meet a Fomor in the Fae area? Ah, not in the Bibliotheca. The Bibliotheca de Brassade. Ah, no. they would No Fomor would go there.
Speaker: Okay. Do you want to meet a Fomor? No, definitely not. I think some of them may be coming this way. What? What? You are more likely to meet them in the mortal realm now than the Fae realm, which is very strange.
Speaker: Hmm. But it is no matter. I do not want you to worry about this adventure. All you need to do is go to the bibliotheca. I shall open a portal.
Speaker: I will give you some books to return to them. And I will need you to take a book that they have waiting for me, is the Scaravan Account of the Sundar.
Speaker: The books must be returned within about two hours from now, or they will be overdue. And that is bad.
Speaker: Not looks up to the sun to figure out roughly what time it is, but then realizes he's indoors. That does not work very well.
Speaker: Ah, but do not worry. This fae is perfectly safe. Just do do not eat anything while you are there. Do not drink. Oh, how long can you hold your breath? What?
Speaker: How long can you hold your breath? Snot takes a big breath and puffs his cheeks out and starts trying to figure this out. Okay. All right. It'll be fine. Just let me know.
Speaker: All right. Well, let's go. sooner we leave, the sooner we can get back.
Speaker: I sense there is worry in your voice, Lily. No. Do not worry. I have procured ah guide for you to make sure you are a safe in the vein. He's not a werewolf, is he?
Speaker: No, I do not think so. is guy That would be exciting. And he ate a quickling, is he? Well... Sharnanon goes over and opens the window and yells, Piss-weez!
Speaker: Piss-weez, come here! Oh, no! There's a zzzzzing noise. Fizzwhizz comes flying in. He goes, ah, hello, you suckers. Get the bag.
Speaker: I'm here on a mission of peace. Now wind up, cherries. Get your gear ready. Get information. I'm serious. Let's not give you peace on something.
Speaker: Sharna on it, or Sharna, anyway, is clapping. Ah, peace whizz, you are so funny. Such a cute little guy. Ah, Fizzwhiz will help you find biblioteca and be your guide.
Speaker: Fred, you're biggest. And if he doesn't, can we squish him? Okay. Thank you. Tell no... Wait a minute. Fizzwhiz not good.
Speaker: I don't know if agreed to this. So Mr. Fizzwhiz is no longer ah imprisoned, I see. That's right. You guys tried to bring me down.
Speaker: When I get knocked down, I get back up again. I get knocked down again, guess what? I get back up again. Oh, sounds like ain't nothing gonna keep him down.
Speaker: I'm a lieutenant now in the town guard, so show some respect. is Fred's eyes are narrowing and there is somewhat of a shadow passing over his face.
Speaker: Lily picks up her gear and just walks past him and out the door. Are you coming? Uh, Sharon is like, I don't know. I can do it in here. it is fine. go. This it's too small wear badge. This way it's too small to wear badge.
Speaker: This way it needs to show us where to go. right. Get in formation. i don't want to hear any back talk. It's not going to get the others to see if he can determine what, ah what formation they're supposed to have.
Speaker: Yeah, Fred is not engaging on this whole formation thing. Nope. All right, well, we'll work on it. It's not standing up very straight, anyway.
Speaker: Sharna reaches into their bag and pulls out some oak leaves. They're bright green, and she lifts them in the air, and fingers glow and swings her arm around, and the oak leaves swirl around in a large circle in the air.
Speaker: Wait, no. Miss Edna's going to get mad. You pick up. In the middle of the leaves, you see there's a mist, and then the mist parts, and you see scene of a forest.
Speaker: Dense moss and thick trees. Sharna says, Okay, okay. You have about two hours before the leaves wither and die, and then the portal will close.
Speaker: Oh, here. She hands an oak leaf to Lily. ah Look at this oak leaf, and if this oak leaf dies, then you're stuck there. Wait.
Speaker: Okay. Sure. Let's go. Sooner we leave, sooner we get back. Sooner we leave, sooner we get back. Let's go. Go there.
Speaker: Snott's pointing at the... Yes....spot on the floor where we can see a forest. Come on. Ah. Looks very small.
Speaker: You're very small. He's going to reach out one foot and... Is it on the ground or is it hanging in the air? No, it's hanging in the air.
Speaker: Oh, okay. Like a big oval. But it's at it starts at ground level. Okay. In that case, he's going to stick his arm through it. Okay. You have a weird tingling sensation, and then as soon as your arm touches it, there's a bump, and you're all just pulled right through.
Speaker: Ah! There's like a puff of mist, and a snot disappears and then appears inside the forest through the portal. If I turn around, can I see the others?
Speaker: Yeah, you can see the portal from the other side. Oh, okay. Okay. Take a deep breath, walk through, clearly shaken. Don't want to do this. There's a very tingly sensation as you touch For a brief moment, the world whirls around you before you stumble into the forest on the other side.
Speaker: Fizzwhizz turns to Fredegar says, All right, you sack of pudding, your turn. can Get in there. job job Jump, jump, jump. Fred is not particularly paying attention to the quickling.
Speaker: He is thinking back to how his father didn't give him an awful lot of life advice except to not meddle with the Fae. So he thinks about that long and hard and then jumps through the portal.
Speaker: Fred has to maybe duck a little bit as he goes into the portal. ab Ducks through the portal, yes. But yeah, once again, there's sort of a wrenching feeling and feels if you're on the deck of a ship that's just suddenly tilted.
Speaker: Stumble through and you're in the fae. Is that sort of like a cow pasture that's tilting? Because not one those. Tilting at windmills.
Speaker: It's like if you're on a cart that's falling over. Okay, there you go
Speaker: you step into this lush forest, the ground is matted with heavy moss. The trees are thick around you. There's a tangle of branches overhead. Some sunlight leaks through, creating dim light around you.
Speaker: It's not looking around for any sort of flowers or mushrooms. Yeah, there are purpley mushrooms growing around the base of a number of the trees. Oh. Can he go over and just start plucking up some of them?
Speaker: Yeah. And then come back to the portal and toss them through into the inn? Yes. Kind of curious to see what this does. As you toss the mushrooms through the portal, there's another puff as they disappear.
Speaker: They reappear on the other side. They're brown, and desiccated. They fall to the ground in a crumpled heap. Oh, Znaut looks horrified. Wait, when we go through portal back, going to look like mushroom?
Speaker: Fizzwhizz has come through the portal. You already look like a mushroom! Uh, Fizzwhizz, to test, uh, you go back? No going back! We're going forward!
Speaker: Ah... Stott looks at Fred in particular, as if for some kind of help or reassurance. Turnip guy, ah Fred is looking a lot more nervous than he was looking when the alligator was trying to eat him.
Speaker: Actually. It's maybe the first time you've seen Fred actually exhibit signs of nervousness or anxiety. It's kind of weird. This area feels different.
Speaker: Fred is very used to mud puddle, to the environment, even the town. about the way air smells, the way the earth feels beneath you. And here, it's different. Earth is like intense, deep, rich scent. It's like a new plowed meadow, but just ten times as much.
Speaker: Colors around you are so vibrant, they almost shimmer. So everything just has powerful, sensual effect. Sort of ah an adult tone.
Speaker: Yeah, so much more powerful than you used to that it's a little overwhelming. Sensual mushroom. Fizzwhizz is looking around. All right, you cherries, we've only got two hours. We're going to get this done.
Speaker: Cherries? Yeah, that's, yeah. Can't you think of anything else? No. All right, let's go. As you're about to leave, Sharnanan pokes their head through Portal and says,
Speaker: Have a good time. See you in two hours. It's not just going to watch them very intently to see what happens when they pull back through. They pull their head back through and they seem none the worse for wear. They're waving from the other side of the portal.
Speaker: It is a little strange that that Sharn was able to just stick their head through when yeah and any of you touched it. You just popped right through. But I don't know. They have different rules. I know.
Speaker: As they're waving, the oak leaves fall to the ground and the portal winks out of existence.
Speaker: Can I watch the oak leaf I have in my hand and see what it's doing? Yeah, it's bright green, but at the edges you notice getting a little bit brown. Stott's pointing at where the portal was.
Speaker: Wait, how? We get back. We have this, but, um... Let's go. Alright. Now before we go anywhere, which one of you is carrying the muffins?
Speaker: Snot? Snot sort of backing away, trying to keep his pack out of view behind him. If you don't hand me a muffin, we're not going anywhere. This sounds like a good deal.
Speaker: Okay, you stay here. We go find Bibli Takakai. All right, all right. Will, you got me with that one. And Fizzwhiz looks around. There are few trails running through the thick stand of trees.
Speaker: And he's like, um, let's go that way. And he starts buzzing towards one of the paths. So that's just going to watch him go and look at the others to see if they're going to follow or not.
Speaker: I sure hope he knows what he's doing. Well, Fred's going to follow him. If we get stuck here, it's a beautiful place to start over.
Speaker: Only if Stopenhizwa is not here. We best get moving then. I guess. Snod have to get back. While Snod stings in swamp.
Speaker: Okay. As you start moving into the trees, you feel like hidden eyes are watching you. Occasionally hear soft bird song, but not bird song that you recognize from anywhere.
Speaker: Echoes strangely through the trees. Occasionally you think you hear somebody laughing in the distance. Could I have somebody roll a 1d4? That is a 2.
Speaker: Okay. You've caught up to Fizzwhiz at this point. And as you make your way through the trees for about, ooh, ten minutes or so, you hear a noise, loud clanging noise in the woods.
Speaker: brunch Crunch, crunch. then there's a loud clang, clang, clang, clattering noise, like a bunch of pots falling over. Fizzwhizz is looking into the trees. What was that?
Speaker: Did you hear that? Crunch. Sound like bunch of pots. Crunch. A merchant? Clang, Clang. Ah, maybe one of you should go check it out.
Speaker: As our leader, I think you should. Well, this isn't a democracy. Snott's looking for somewhere that he can hide himself. There are lots of places to hide at the edge of the path.
Speaker: Yeah, let's... I'm gonna roll a stealth check. Okay. Fred can just kind of hide if he wants to. Yeah, Fred can do that. Yeah. All right. 18.
Speaker: How many dice was that? That was all her dice. Shut up. Um, yeah, I don't hide. Okay. Below 10.
Speaker: you don't want to put a number to that don't hide? My don't hide is a five. Well, that's okay. So Snot easily slips down behind a bush on the other side of the path from the noise.
Speaker: Fred just kind of stops moving and it's like he's gone. It's just like he's part of the trees.
Speaker: And Lily, of looking around, but kind of clanging herself, I suppose. Can't see a perfect spot. Fizzwhiz is zipping around like, um, wait, where did Pudding Guy go?
Speaker: Stupid quickling. Pudding Guy is turnip guy. As you're hiding or failing to hide, the crunching noises get louder, and then there's a loud clang, and then...
Speaker: From the woods to the right side of the path, large suit of plate mail armor with no helmet. Plate mail armor is old, rusty, covered in roots and branches and vines all over it.
Speaker: It strides right into the path and seems to walk across the path, not noticing any of you, and smashes into a tree on the other side of the path. It stumbles back. There's an enormous clanging sound as it's stumbling around the pathway.
Speaker: Kind of pulls itself together, reaches out with its hands in front of it, and feels for the tree. Turns and starts walking in a slightly different direction. So am I just kind of like standing out there just frozen and yeah quiet, but not stealth?
Speaker: Yeah, it just walked right past you. Okay, bye. You realize that Fizzwhiz is trying to hide behind you.
Speaker: It's like whispering in your ear. Cal is that? I don't know, but maybe if we keep our mouths shut, it won't notice us. It's not like it has ears.
Speaker: Point taken. Fred reappears and exhales abruptly. oh ah What? the Best we keep moving then.
Speaker: Hey. Plate armor just kind of clanks, crunches away into the woods on the other side of the path. You hear another loud smash as it runs into another tree.
Speaker: Okay, let's go, Fizzy. Snot's emerging slowly. Armor guy hate tree as much as Lily. I don't hate trees.
Speaker: That's not what trees say.
Speaker: Can Snot take a look after the armor? Is it just smashing its way through the forest? Yeah, the same thing keeps repeating. Like runs into some trees, stumbles back, changes direction slightly, feels around it with its arms to try and get around the tree.
Speaker: like a medieval Roomba. Yeah. All right, so sounds fade into the distance as it clunks away further in.
Speaker: As you continue down the path, the trees change a little bit. They look a little taller, little further apart. The leaves have changed from deep green to a sort of bluish-purple hue. About how long have we been walking now?
Speaker: At another 10 minutes, so 20 minutes total. Could I get another 1d4? Taking our lives in my hands. Three. Okay.
Speaker: As you're walking along with the woods spaced out around you, you hear something laughing. A sharp, quick laugh quite near you on the side of the path.
Speaker: Fizzwhizzes look around. was Snot makes a startled jump and moves to the other side of the path. I'll try hiding again. I'm really not interested in interacting with Faye.
Speaker: Sad how it is. Okay, you can try hiding.
Speaker: Drew, you have to look at this.
Speaker: Did you have advantage? I have disadvantage. Oh, she rolled two wow. wow
Speaker: Really saved that for when it was going to count.
Speaker: Yeah. You have actually hidden extremely well. It's almost by chance. You're trying to find a hiding spot, and then you discover that there's a little hollow in the ground, and you almost slip into it.
Speaker: But you're almost completely hidden. You just kind of disappear from view. Biz Whistler's like, where'd you guys going? What's happening here? So Esnot and Fred, are you guys hiding? No, Snott's just looking at the side of the path where the laughing was coming from and trying to discern what it was.
Speaker: It sounded like another stupid quickling. You could make a perception check. Yes. Ah, twelve. Well, you see something flitting about in there. It's about quickling size, but you can't identify what it is.
Speaker: It's like peering out from behind a tree, looking at you, giggling, and then zipping away. Another stupid fizz whiz over there. Snott's pointing where he last saw it. What? I...
Speaker: Okay, um, I have a lot of complaints about that observation.
Speaker: I think we've got enough quick things as it is. Alright, well, none of you idiots are brave enough to check it out. I guess we better just keep going. We already lost Lily. What? No, I'm here! Snacks looking around.
Speaker: Ow! Go! Don't scare me like that! This is my first command! want it to go well! Oh yeah, great, your first command. That's the type of talk that we don't need right now.
Speaker: You gotta pull together as a team. She shrugs. Let's go. I'm not sort of fascinated at how you managed to hide there. He's gonna offer a ah hand to help you out of it.
Speaker: Out of the hole. You help, uh, pull her out of a little hollow. It's conveniently lily-sized. Hey, real quick. Who has the book? Did we take a book to return? Oh,
Speaker: Yeah, i forgot to mention that. You did get two sizable tomes. Sharnan handed them to you. who ah Who would like to hold on to him? Big guy carries big books. yeah Yeah, Fred does carry stuff. He's not ah not a fan of fancy, overly lengthy signs, but he will carry the things that he's asked to.
Speaker: All right, so you just kind of shoved them in here but your sack? Yep. Okay. Real turnip-y in there. I think everything that you guys have is now muffiny, turnip-y.
Speaker: Yeah, we're living the good life. Are you getting enough ketchup?
Speaker: All right. So you continue on down the path. It opens up further ahead of you. You can see, but you think there's a field ahead of you. You see fewer trees, but there's a large row of bushes along the edge of the path up ahead of you. So you'd have to push through the bushes to get into the field.
Speaker: The path ends with a little bit of a thicket. Snot has been staying towards the rear, and he's unusually silent. He's not singing. He's not commenting on the stuff they're seeing.
Speaker: Just keeping his head on a swivel. Fizzwhizz is examining the hedge in front of you. All right, big guy. Your turn. Make a path. All right.
Speaker: All guy is big guy to Fizzwhizz. Fred is going to approach the hedge, and being a firbolg, Fred has the speech of beast and leaf, so he is going to try to politely ask the hedge to maybe scoot over a little bit, or at least bend over enough that we can get past.
Speaker: Okay. As you use your speech of leaf to communicate to the leaves, it's a very different experience than on the farms. These leaves are very polite, but also the shrubs seem a lot more talkative.
Speaker: Farm leaves are jerks. Wands in Mud Puddle. Seems like the ones in Mud Puddle have almost forgotten how to communicate to firbolgs. Like, they communicate through little rustles.
Speaker: These leaves are just, like, flapping around. they're like, almost loquacious as bushes go. Firm leaves be like, hey, I'm growing here! ah why don't you make a persuasion check?
Speaker: Alright. Not his strong suit, of course. It's not that difficult. about a five? It's a little more difficult than that. The leaves are chatting up with you and they're like, Welcome to the Fae.
Speaker: Where are you going? We don't want to move. And we have thorns. What does this look like to the rest of us when Fred is chatting with a bush?
Speaker: The leaves of the bush gesturing and moving around and it's rustling a lot and one of the branches turns over and you see large sharp thorns sticking out of it. No.
Speaker: The bush has got a knife.
Speaker: Bizus is like, what's the delay up there? Just burn the thing or chop it down or something.
Speaker: Nott, can you talk to the plants? Fred is going to rise up. and unsling his table. Whoa! And lean down to the the shrub and say, i I really would appreciate it if you got out of the way.
Speaker: Okay. Why don't you make an intimidation check with advantage? Fred now gets advantage on that when he's risen up. So that is a 16...
Speaker: And a 18. Yeah. So the leaves are like, they're kind of shook a little bit, like literally shaking. And they like pull themselves aside to to make a large path. They're like, okay, we're moving now, but only because we want to.
Speaker: That's very kind of you. Fred gestures, signaling the group to move through. Thank you, Fred. That was very kind. Snot's got a bit of a puzzled look on his face because Lily just asked him if he could talk to a bush, but he follows along.
Speaker: Okay. Make your way through the bush. It's pulled aside. It's maybe about 10 feet through the bushes, and you see there are large, sharp thorns in there, so it's probably good you didn't just dive in.
Speaker: you step through on the other side, you come into a open field. It's kind of a hill ahead of you, and just as you're stepping out, I don't know if Lily or Snot is going first.
Speaker: How do I first? When it's not ever going first. Uh, when there's a full Clarendon. Oh, fair. was gonna say they're gonna go on muffins, but yeah, go ahead.
Speaker: Yeah, there does not be appear to be a full Clarendon in this field. The grass is quite thick ahead of you and tall. They're an assortment of wildflowers in brilliant orange and purple hues throughout the field.
Speaker: And directly to the side of you, there's an enormous black fuzzy face. As you step out, Lily, it's just right there next to you. You realize that you get a good look at it. That is kind of a bee, but massive.
Speaker: Just like the size of a cow waggling its antenna at you. Makes up a low zzzing noise. the Oh! Um, hello?
Speaker: Is this your field? It's very lovely. We're just passing through, if that's alright with you. The large bee cow but waggles at Santana's a little bit, looks at you curiously with strange multifaceted eyes, and then just turns.
Speaker: It's floating, but it's couple inches above the ground. Starts moving in a different direction. Thank you. Have a great day. Our lady is talking to bee.
Speaker: I guess we can go now. Snott's the last to step into the clearing. Okay. And he's like, oh, that big bee.
Speaker: Yeah. And as you get out further into the clearing, you can see up the hill ahead of you, there are more of these giant bee cows. Drifting around the field, occasionally stopping at the wildflowers and grabbing them, their teeth.
Speaker: Wait, wait, okay, stop, stop, stop the presses. They have teeth? but let's Let's say... and no I'm calling a timeout on this one. They could be bees with cow teeth.
Speaker: At that size, they can have whatever they want. Let's say their mouths, their mandibles, whatever they have. Okay. Get around a flower, pluck it up, and then they trundle up over the hill.
Speaker: and But they are flying, right? isn't there Yep. Okay. It's not very high, just a few inches above the ground. Snot's wondering if he's very high. Fred is pondering on what sort of milk you get from these things and what it tastes like.
Speaker: Snot's thinking that whenever he meets someone. Do these look like honeybees or bumblebees? Honeybees. Okay. Snot is not frightened by them.
Speaker: Because he knows that, or thinks, that honeybees are not particularly irritable or dangerous. He's just standing there and watching them. You know, like you would if you saw cow-sized bees for the first time.
Speaker: We can all remember our first bee cow, right? Yeah. Fizz Whizz is a little uncomfortable about this. Like, all right, next time one of those things comes near us, get it with the table.
Speaker: No! not gonna hurt you. I might be allergic. Well, if you're feeling nervous, could throw you into a bag, I suppose.
Speaker: Oh. That's like not even funny. This was... Oh, but it is. feel like it's sizest. You guys are sizest. it's ah It ain't a joke, if that's what you mean. It's not unslinging his pack now. It's like, hold on.
Speaker: Hold on. I didn't agree to this. Looks like they're cupcakes in here. He sort of holds the mouth of his his sack open. This way he stops sniffing.
Speaker: Feel like...
Speaker: Make a persuasion check. We need him to show us where to go. He's doing a great job. Uh, 16. No, I'm sorry, i went the wrong way with it. 14.
Speaker: Okay. Fiz Whiz is getting closer to the bag. it's like sniffing. Cupcakes, really? You wouldn't lie to me twice, would you? Snot reaches down into his back and comes out with a, like a finger full of mashed a turnip muffin and a bit of frosting.
Speaker: Seductively puts it in his mouth. Uh, alright. All right, I'm trusting you here. Fizzwhizz is looking at you and then looking at the bag.
Speaker: flies over to it. Snot's tongue is doing a super slow-mo, like, just sweep around his lips. like
Speaker: Fizzwhizz clearly wants to get that turnip cupcake muffin. Hold on a sec. I'm just going to take a taste. like, sticks his head inside the bag. They weighed down bottom. Just his legs are sticking out of the bag now. He's like muff fussing around in there. It's like, oh, wow.
Speaker: Yeah, there really is ah a pile of what went for muffins. There's so much sugar in here. Notch's going to very carefully with his other hand just sort of reach up over the top of Fizzwhiz and then give him a quick push down into the bag.
Speaker: Yeah, there's like a, And he goes tumbling into the bag. are you Are you closing the bag or you going to let him out? Yes. No, I'm going to shut the bag and tie up the string.
Speaker: Yeah, Fizzwhiz is yelling. It's a little bit hard to tell what is's yelling because it seems like his mouth is full. And he's Hey! Hey! Look me in the eyes while you stab me in the back!
Speaker: Snot's going to hold his bag out proudly. Okay. Got stupid Fizzwhiz in bag? ah We go find Bookplace.
Speaker: All right, so the hill rises up before you. The hedge curves around behind you for quite a ways. you want to go up the hill or along the hedge? Let's go up the hill and maybe we can see ah direction where like ah a university is. I mean, this is presumably a big place.
Speaker: Snot's going sling the fizz whizz sack over his shoulder. And with really renewed vigor, he's going to set off marching with the others. At first, you hear a few yells, but it gets more and more mumbled, and then you feel like Physus has fallen asleep in there.
Speaker: Like in some kind of sugar coma. Yeah. Well, he's had a long day. This was the dilemma the last time, that now he's got all the muffins, but they really are kind of mashed up and nasty at this point anyway.
Speaker: Yeah, and a quickling has been rolling around in them, so... you' Doing God knows what. Scrooge McDucking if we're lucky. Make your way up the hill.
Speaker: The grass pulls at your feet a little bit because it's so thick, but it's pretty easy to proceed. the hill is not that steep. As you come up to the top, you see more of the bees and ahead of you. Down the other side of the hill, there's giant honeycomb set on the side of the hill where all the bees are going to and from.
Speaker: It's almost like a maze. There's big golden shell honey dripping down around it. Wow. Maybe this won't tell us where to go.
Speaker: I'm just looking around all directions. Is there anything else? Make a perception check. 17. That's pretty good. From the summit of the hill, you can get a clearer view of the area around you.
Speaker: You see the forest stretching out behind you and the honeycomb directly down the hill. But if you go to the right of the honeycomb, there are more hills and you see scattered woods, but also you see a structure in the distance.
Speaker: Something large and gray sticking out of a stand of trees. Probably about another 10 to 15 minute walk. Well, there's some kind of house structure thing out that direction, but that's assuming that a library is going to be a structure and not a tree in the Feywild.
Speaker: Fred? I, uh, not sure I've ever seen a bibliotechie before. The library. I'm not sure I've seen one of those either. Ah.
Speaker: Snot only has eyes for the giant honeycomb at this point, and he's starting to gamble down the hill towards it. Which is, if I understand correctly, at least roughly in the direction we want to go anyway. It's close to the same direction, yeah. Uh, Mr. Snot, remember, we're not supposed to eat anything in here.
Speaker: He's just going on ahead. He's really kind of squinting and also because we've stepped out into a clearing broad daylight, but, you know, he's got other things on his mind right now.
Speaker: Fred's going to try to catch up with him and maybe steer him away from the honey. Yeah. Wait. Grab his little hand in mine. But we, we getting hungry on walk. We are not eating the honey.
Speaker: We're not eating anything here. Now, I agree. It does look quite delicious, but you do know what happens. Like in the old stories, the children wander off into the Fae and eat something, right?
Speaker: Get eaten by goblins. Oh. Let's not love those stories. Actually, we don't know because they don't come back. So let's keep moving. Come on. Let's go. Paaaaat is not slowly pointing back over.
Speaker: There's lot of honey over there. Don't look. Can Snot sense any sort of danger to this situation? Why don't you make a wisdom check?
Speaker: Nature, I suppose. Okay. Uh, 16. Okay. Well, Snot knows that he loves honey, at least when he had it up at the farm.
Speaker: He finds it in the wild sometimes. But with that high wisdom check, Snot does remember specific instructions. Do not eat any food in the Fae. And maybe you don't want to, but you do kind of recognize, I think, that this could be dangerous. You don't know why. Snot's furrowing his brow over over that idea.
Speaker: He kind of realizes what people are concerned about now, but it's like, I mean, only food in jar.
Speaker: Snot's going to allow himself to be led off in the correct direction, but he keeps looking back over his shoulder.
Speaker: When we get home, we'll ah take care of it.
Speaker: We're not staying here. It's not... He keeps looking over his shoulder, but he's he's sort of coming along if if Fred is actually leading him. Yeah.
Speaker: Fred sort of imagining coming back to the tavern with some kind of weird changeling replacement for Snot. Like an actual human child. Yeah. Extremely disoriented, dehydrated human child. I mean, I can roll up a human child if you want to go that route. That's kind of cool. No, no, that's that's okay. I think Snot would be replaced by Halfling.
Speaker: dire enemy my Sucker! Shut your mouth.
Speaker: Take it back.
Speaker: The honey grows distant as you move down the hill in the other direction. Fades into the haze behind you. but Maybe Snot feels sad longing in his tummy as it fades from view.
Speaker: Now all his provisions have quickling in them. This is turning out not the best.
Speaker: And as our heroes delve deeper into the Fae and mourn that which is forbidden, we bring this episode to a close. Thank you for listening to Clarendon, The Hireling Chronicles, and please join us for our next exciting episode.
Speaker: you
