Transcript
Speaker: Here we go. Here we are. Remote boy moms.
Speaker: I feel like our social media is popping off right now. yeah went to When I went to go see if you were wearing headphones yeah in our remote videos and there were all of these notifications, unless that was you just now liking videos. No, wasn't. I posted a couple of videos last night. i mean,
Speaker: Well, think you're doing incredibly well. All right. What's the latest daycare? What's the... How's it going? I I'm just sad. you know, he's really not liking that they nap there.
Speaker: ah That's the thing he's been dreading. Everything else is fine. It's just that he has to go to sleep there. doesn't like sleeping. I mean, it makes sense. Sleeping somewhere unfamiliar. Other kids are crying sometimes. Yeah, don't like doing Wait, other kids are what?
Speaker: Other kids cry. Like, it's like you're all in the same room, you know? It's kind of feels like orphanage vibes a little bit. Yeah. So we talk I was like, I'll talk to them about it today. and And I mean, I talked to the director and they're like, I just let them know. She was like, they probably think you want him to nap, you know?
Speaker: and I'm like, just let them know he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to. Like, you know, he they could try if he's tired. That's fine. That's one thing. Cause sometimes they say he goes to bed sleep and doesn't get sad, you know, like, but like,
Speaker: You know, i was just I'm like, they don't have to, like, encourage it if he's resisting his like me be basically the message. I think that's the part because he said, like, I get sad. My teacher makes me feel better. But then I get sad again.
Speaker: You know, and I'm like, at that point, like, just let him play. Like, it's like we don't need to. I don't know if yeah they probably make them rest. What is it? What do they do if they don't know? They can play quietly. There's an option. or they can and And they've been reading him stories. He tells me like which stories they read him to feel better. you know Their go-to with him is Goldilocks and the Three Bears, which I'm like... And he's always like, tell me that story. And I'm like, I don't even remember.
Speaker: I like butcher that story. I don't remember how it goes. like Does Goldilocks meet the bears? No.
Speaker: She goes into their house she and she tries the porridge. Yeah. And then she eats she eats the porridge and then she tries the chairs and then she breaks the chair and then she and then they find her in the bed.
Speaker: least the version have. She tries all the beds. Yeah, she just she breaks in and then she gets caught and then she runs away. Okay, so it's a making and entry.
Speaker: I can see why he would like that story. i'm what Because he's a criminal in the making. It's like fulfilling some repressed feeling in him, you know? Wanting to break into the house. Wanting to really, yeah, yeah. Just get in there and do whatever you want. Get someone else's stuff, yeah. Yeah, totally. That's his dream come true.
Speaker: Well, someone said, i read on some tweet or something where they're like, I finally understand why... who is it daddy's porridge is too hot mommy's porridge is too cold and baby's porridge is just right but i'm like what i guess because mommy's busy doing stuff so she doesn't get to her porridge yeah oh um i'm a mom i never get to drink coffee when it's hot my ah i just want to start my email job so i can drink coffee while it's hot By the way, if anybody has an email job for me. Oh, yeah. No, did I tell you I read this one? i think i I posted about it on Substack.
Speaker: I read one of those 24-hour diaries of a mom who has an email job. And it was called, it was titled like, working mom, blah, blah, blah. And I tallied up the amount of time she spent, she has a work from home job, and I tallied up the amount of time she spent working. And it was less than an hour.
Speaker: In the whole day. She was going to Target. I think she went to Target twice. She got matchas three times. be Wait.
Speaker: Three matchas? She had three. Well, I guess she woke up. So one her husband made her at home. She also got to sleep in until – like her husband lets her sleep in until 9 o'clock or something. and then that And then she gets a matcha at home.
Speaker: But then she went out throughout the day and got two more matchas. She went to the gym. She went to physical therapy for something. She was chilling.
Speaker: And she was like, I hopped on a Zoom. And then i I sent a couple emails and she did truly almost no work in the whole day. And I was like, this is the job that Rena needs.
Speaker: I need that job. I could do that job. oh you I don't like matcha, but I can learn. Whatever it takes, man. can.
Speaker: I wonder what those emails, I mean, were they high stress emails? What is that job? What does she do? Because she also has some fake breath work sounding, but that sounded like in addition, like breath work for moms, but that sounded like it was in addition to the marketing job. So I think she was only talking about her marketing job.
Speaker: Marketing. See, marketing. That's, yeah, that's what I have to get it's always marketing. Because it's marketing emails. But do those emails, I get so many marketing emails.
Speaker: Do those work on people? I feel like all they do is annoy me. They never do anything. I mean, we're talking about her sending emails. I think it's just email. i don't think she's necessarily sending the marketing emails for the company. I think she's just saying like, copy that.
Speaker: We'll circle back. ah Have you done so and so? Like this, I had a job like this in marketing. It was a lot more involved. I mean, my and when I worked in theatrical marketing for a big movie studio, but I was in the office for 13 hours a day, but I was like sending...
Speaker: I was sending those emails all day where it was just like, did you do it yet? Following up about this, circling back. So it's just checking if people did stuff? Yeah. And you're not actually doing anything. You're just checking other people did it. Yeah.
Speaker: The people who do your work, like the clients, the people who actually like make the movie posters or make the trailers, and you're giving those... You're just holding them accountable.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And giving those. I mean, I wish someone did that with me for anything I need to do.
Speaker: long as it's not my mom. If it was my mom, it it would bother me. But like anybody else, like...
Speaker: i I mean, if they could just be like, do you have enough groceries? Like maybe go get some like just stupid stuff like that. but Basic life stuff you would like someone. Life stuff. Yeah. Have you brushed your teeth? Like maybe did you put deodorant on after the shower? That might be a good idea. Problem is that's supposed to be you.
Speaker: right That's supposed to come automatically. like There's people who can pre-program that and then they live half their lives you know just doing the pre-programmed thing they do. like But i can't there's no pre-programming setup in my brain. I have to remember every time to do everything and I never do. Or I do sometimes. Sometimes I do.
Speaker: That is why you you are a person who take snagging well or take someone like being like, did you do this yet? Did you do this yet?
Speaker: um As long as it's not someone close to me, like if it was professional setting, I would take it well. Do you consider me to be a person who's close to you?
Speaker: Oh, no, no. Like family. I think if you did it, it would be OK. No, I think I have done it and it has been well received. So, yeah.
Speaker: I think you do respond well to that sort of And my Mike is the same way. Like, he... Yeah. Unless it's me or his mom. Like... Yeah, that's the thing. It's the mom or the spouse that I would not. Because I am his mom. Like I'm reminding him. Well, when someone close to me does it, I assume they're doing it because they think I'm an idiot.
Speaker: Like, and then I take it really personally. like Right, right. Even though like, because they know. intent first Yeah, for all intents and purposes, I am an idiot and I do need them.
Speaker: You know, like they're not wrong. But you don't want to have to be reminded of that. Yeah, I just get defensive and that's... an I don't want to think that they see me that way. Right. A co-worker doesn't really know the truth, right? Like you... No, co-workers have always... I feel like it's part of why I lose jobs a lot of the times is that I'm very much like, tell me, guide me, show me. Like, tell me.
Speaker: Is this okay? Is that okay? I need to know very specifically what we're doing here. School is canceled, okay? and This is what happens when your child goes to school.
Speaker: That's what he's been saying, by the way. He's saying in the mornings this week, he said, school is closed, actually. We have to go to the playground. Oh, He doesn't want to go?
Speaker: He doesn't want to go because of the nap. I talked to him about it So I talked to them about it. you know like So what if they say he can play instead? Yeah, they said they'll communicate with the teachers. They said the teachers probably think that we really want him to take a nap.
Speaker: um so That can't be true because any time I've heard this complaint, like parents never want their kids to nap at daycare because then they don't then they stay up really late.
Speaker: That's like the most common thing. parents that we've communicated with in his class... all are like, I hope he naps. we hope They're hoping for naps. Oh, really? That seems super. Yes, and they said that it's actually early at his age to be dropping a nap. No, it is. It is? Yeah, i I mean, I've read that naps are appropriate or should be offered until they're like four or five.
Speaker: i don't yeah I think offering is good. i just think like we don't need to... then be like, no, go back to sleep when you wake up. Like, it's like, if he naps for 20 minutes, that's fine. We don't need to hour nap. they make him go back sleep if he wakes up?
Speaker: I don't know exactly what's going on. Like, ah you know, I think that's what they do is like read a book and try to get him to stay quiet. Like, I think, and I think what's happening is like he naps for 20 minutes and then he's full of energy.
Speaker: And when he needs to capitulate to the structure. Yeah, that's the thing. So we're just going to see. We're going to give it another week. We've communicated with them that we don't need him to nap if he's refusing. Like, they can give him a quiet activity. And maybe he'll get really into that. I don't know.
Speaker: But I have a feeling that he's like, hey, like to the other kids, like, what are you guys doing? You know what I mean? Like, yeah and he's like up and ready to hang, like after half an hour or 20 minutes.
Speaker: So it's like, we're just going to see what what what goes on. Like, it could be that his he's still getting used to the schedule, but he has been going to bed really late.
Speaker: He's been going to bed at like 10. Yeah. Yeah. It is quite late at 10 and then waking up at seven. so it's like, it's late. Like, um it's nice because we get a lot of time with him you know?
Speaker: it also seems like white he should just nap earlier. He wants to nap earlier. Yeah, like he naturally gravitates to napping earlier. Like if they get like 12 to 2.
Speaker: Yeah, and on the weekends he naps at like 1130 or like 11 even sometimes. Like he's just like an earlier. yeah I think but and that seems like it would be better because then he would go to bed a little earlier maybe.
Speaker: he i now woke up earlier. i mean, and that's the problem with like school structure in general is like, it's not tailor made to the kid. like So we're just going to see how it goes. They said they said usually the first week or two, it's hard. And then everybody gets used to it. And then people stop crying. I don't know if that's true. let's say Yeah, don't because she's like because the kids, the other kids are also still crying and not used to it. so it's like but once they all get used to it, they all just kind of do it at the same time and it's fine.
Speaker: So. I don't know. I'm going to give it a ah few more days and see. But i don't like the way. He's talking about it because he's really dreading it every time we go. And i don't I don't want him to have to have that feeling of like... Because he likes playing at school. He just doesn't want to sleep at school, you know?
Speaker: He likes the music they play. he said the teacher makes him feel better. But he just wants... He wants us to pick him up basically before the nap. like I know. I wish you could just... Because that's... And that's more...
Speaker: That's a preschool thing as opposed to a daycare thing is like they would go home before now Before the nap. Yeah. And then just come and relax with us. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. And it also feels like because neither one of us has found jobs yet, it's like, yeah, we could do that right now, you know, but I need to find a job, you know, but Dean, I mean, like, I don't know, you know.
Speaker: ah Yeah, so we're going to see. We're just like taking it day by day. But if this continues and he's just always dreading it, like I have no problem pulling him out. Although he has been really...
Speaker: seems physically really to be like making strides like his climbing's got way way better which well i'm crediting them mainly just because he doesn't have me being anxiously anxiously scared everything he does all the time and he seems more confident from having a bit of a break from that like and i think that's a good thing do you want to talk about your socializing what socializing oh with the parents I don't know.
Speaker: I mean, are they going to know about this podcast? I don't know. i don't know what they know about me. I literally have no idea. i mean, i we all wrote an email chain of like who we are, kind of like little intros.
Speaker: But my husband wrote ours without consulting me. It was just like, wait and we're creatives. I don't know. Comedians, like whatever else. Like, I don't know He was very vague about it.
Speaker: um I mean, they all seem nice. It's just less, um there's less closeness than I'm used to. Like, I'm used to being friends with all the parents and knowing them really well.
Speaker: Right, from the heart. That's been yours. Yeah, like kids, anybody that's hanging out with them. they all They seem, sometimes some of them seem like stressed, you know.
Speaker: about Because I see them in stressful moments of drop off and pick up, like, and they probably have to get somewhere. Right. now they have Yeah. where Where does everyone go after they pick up their kids?
Speaker: I think they go to work. They go back to work. Where's the kid? Oh, do they do aftercare? So some of them do. Yeah. Okay. And there's also, you can drop off earlier sometimes if you, if you add on, ah we're doing the smallest amount of time you can add on at the morning and you can add it in the afternoon. And then I guess but it is with a nanny for the rest of the time when they're working.
Speaker: I don't know. Yeah. Sometimes there's nannies doing drop-offs for the other classes. Yeah. Um, I mean, I know my daycare was eight to four eight to whatever my mom's work hours were like.
Speaker: a So I think it probably just really varies parent to parent. I mean, what are they all go to a park after? what Like they're not all. No, they don't all go hang. They're not all fun employed. Like, you know know, they're all going to work like they all have real jobs. I mean, and that's, you know, you they though It seems like some of them have part time jobs and then side hustles, like little businesses. Like there's definitely some of that going on.
Speaker: I think more on the mom's side, because, you know, the that one parent needs to be free kind of free in case the kid gets sick or something, you know, like unless they have like a built in system for that.
Speaker: I don't know. I mean, they're all, they all seem, but I always project this onto everybody, but I'm like, they all seem much more organized and adult than me. Like, that's what it looks like from the outside. Like, well, they all just, yeah, they have, that's what money will do to a person. it makes them, yeah they have cleaners, they have nannies, they have help, you know, like,
Speaker: Yeah, they could. It's like if i had that, I could pay someone to remind me to do everything. Exactly. People have, yeah, what's that job? Assistance. Yeah, or a house manager.
Speaker: People have. House manager. Oh, the dream. And it's just like the old like folding underwear, ah reminding them to brush their teeth. again It's all the house stuff.
Speaker: Yeah. And that's separate. And then i think they might deal with like the nanny and the cleaner, the landscapers. Yeah. They're like the the the manager. They're like the CEO of the household. Yeah. like yeah And they, I think they usually make, they can make a lot of money.
Speaker: The house manager? Yeah. like Yeah, you can make like 80 100. I've looked into jobs like that, but I'm like, but I'm but it's like, I can't double do that. Like, I can't do that double. Like, it's literally my the bane of my existence already.
Speaker: Yeah, no, I would not hire you for that job. Nobody should. What would you hire me for? Nothing. what would ah What would you hire me for? I'm a personality hire.
Speaker: I do work hard at jobs. I mean, it does seem like, yeah, things were like, yeah, it seems like you need something where the work is obvious and it's right in front of you.
Speaker: like Like we talk about serving or like, you know, where you're yeah moving around and you're dealing with concrete things as opposed to like remembering to send an email, you know?
Speaker: Yeah, no. Yes, that's true. Have you been applying for jobs like that? I did. I mean, I've been bringing my resume. The last serving job, I brought my resume he was like, well, we're interviewing 15 people this weekend, but if none of them work out, I'll give you a call. I was like, don't you want to just give me, give me an interview too? You know, he's like, no, I already all lined up, but he liked that I was pushy, you know?
Speaker: um so i'm trying I'm trying. Yeah. I'm going to keep doing that. I've tried in our neighborhood, you know, Um, it's just hard because I need daytime. i just want like a brunchy lunchy situation, ideally.
Speaker: Or I could work on contract doing stuff. I mean, the problem is like, I have some skills, I just don't have like, the degrees to back it up. Like it's like, I could do sound for stuff, you know, like I can hyper focus.
Speaker: Or like, Oh, yeah. And that's like a concrete thing. Yeah, I can like, I can like compose music like, but you know, but I'm like low level, like it's I don't have a music degree or a sound engineering degree.
Speaker: I don't know. But then i I always think like, could I get one of those normal jobs, but then I feel like that's like behind this fence of like, ah those people can get those jobs and I can't or something. Do you know what i mean? Like, well not with that attitude No, I need to change my attitude.
Speaker: do you want to hear a depressing school thing that I found out yesterday? Oh, no. It just related to screams. ah Yeah. the the When you were a kid, did you have school assemblies where you would all walk into the auditorium, cafeteria, whatever, and...
Speaker: The principal would talk and other people would talk and it would be a chance to go to a different part of the school and see other kids and other teachers. Yeah, for sure. So obviously that is now a video at this school. Oh, no. Yeah. It's the the principal. That's so depressing. Yeah.
Speaker: She's talking on a video. It's a very small school too. Like it's not that hard. to go to, to navigate the building. It was so fun to get out of the classroom for a second. No, he keeps talking about kids not like, he's like wanting to see other parts of the school because he never gets to, because they just eat like they they're in their classroom and then they have snack time and lunch time. They just go directly outside And then their play area is just right outside the classroom.
Speaker: So they're never going. There must be something where they're they're concerned about kids of different ages interacting or something. No, not here because they're so they're so young. The school only goes up to fifth grade. And the fifth graders do. There is something where the fifth graders help out sometimes with oh yeah lunch or snack time or like ah wrangling, i think. the kindergartners. But yeah, there's no, there's no assembly in person anymore. It's just the principal talking on a video and they're told because, you know, i tell my kid not to watch the videos that the teacher is playing, but he is told he has to watch this one. And who yeah, the principal talking and other various faculty members about, you know, whatever would happen in an assembly.
Speaker: but it's just on the big Promethean board. And then we found out we were looking up because the Promethean boards are new They're brand new. They're in all of these new classrooms.
Speaker: And they're so ubiquitous at LAUSD that they literally have a LAUSD person who works at the company. And all they do is connect with LAUSD. Like that's how deeply entrenched they are.
Speaker: Which probably their biggest client. Oh, yeah. So they they've got a government contract. That's the government cheese, as they call it. That's where the money is.
Speaker: I mean, I could see why, but it's so Orwellian. Yeah, the video assembly is very unsettling to me. Yeah. And that's something where i have to go to the principal and cause that's obviously not the teacher. It's just, and then I don't know is if that's a district wide thing that they all do assemblies on the video or is just our principal, just more gung ho, which I think she is than others about using the technology.
Speaker: I mean, I see how it makes life easier for them. Yeah. They don't have to coordinate, they don't have to wrangle all of the kids and have another transition.
Speaker: That's like washing, they don't wash their hands before they eat lunch or snack. And I assume it's because it would add another thing that they would have to transition, get them all in line. And then they have to all line up and wash their hands and then dry their hands.
Speaker: But it's disgusting. This is why I'm sick. Yeah. Yeah. So I told, I mean, I gave him a hand sanitizer in his lunchbox. But to me, it's crazy that they're not all washing their hands before they eat.
Speaker: Yeah, why aren't, well, another motivation to get him in a Jewish school. have You should say it's part of your religion. Then they can't discriminate. They have to let him wash. So there's a there's a WhatsApp group for the
Speaker: There's a WhatsApp group for the members of the anti allegedly anti screen parents at. this Yes. ah And I think I have been a bit more extreme in my views than most of the people in the group.
Speaker: um They're very much favoring the approach of what I what we what were we calling it? Toxic positivity. Yeah, toxic toxic positivity. Lots of, um I mean, i want to kind of paraphrase.
Speaker: the The group is dead. I ruined it. Thank God. I thought you left. You didn't leave. I'm still, i can still see it. ah I mean, I remember someone saying catch more flies with honey. Yeah, yeah. Someone told me, ah ah this was after I left, that um I do think we catch more flies with honey. I'm saying a little Southern accent.
Speaker: But there were a few people who seemed to be defending one screen for the whole class. like They were like, we you know we won with the devices and we should be really ah happy about that.
Speaker: And I don't think I think we can all agree that watching the one screen is not as bad. Watching the YouTube videos, the brain break videos.
Speaker: And he there was one guy who was just so defensive of those types of videos. And I was wondering why he was being so defensive about it. So obviously I looked him up.
Speaker: And of course, he writes children's television and the shows that he writes for have millions of views on YouTube.
Speaker: That's where all his money's coming from, baby. course, he doesn't want to. Of course, he doesn't want to eliminate you in the classroom. Those residuals will stop coming in Livelihood.
Speaker: And though I've never I've i never heard of any of them, of course. asked Watching these shows at school
Speaker: ah doesn't seem, just doesn't seem like what they should be doing at school for their little no i agree brain breaks. that's what's going on. We live in Los Angeles.
Speaker: Obviously there are going to be people who profit from entertainment The big screen as a, yeah. yeah That's what I said. I obviously like show my kid lots of stuff, but, but I do agree that we don't need it in school.
Speaker: I mean, school should be where you're doing stuff that's like healthy for your brain. Right. I feel like the brain break thing, it's like, are you just training them to need a brain break? Like, that's so strange. No, like any, and it and that's,
Speaker: I think anything that turns that off isn't good term. Well, again, it's public schools. Like, it's like private schools are not doing this, I don't think. Like, not the really good ones. like I don't know. It's like they're just sticking it on the, like, kids that aren't paying for school.
Speaker: like I wonder, because there was that, there's a nanny from our park who's been ah who's taught at private schools. And she said it's all the same there. Like, they're they were doing it there, too. Really?
Speaker: I wonder which schools. Yeah, some I'm sure some more than others. Because I feel like like really rich people send their kids to like Waldorf or like, you know, that other the like play base, like, re you know, I mean, there's like many private schools.
Speaker: So I'm sure there are. I don't know any of them. I mean, they'res l la obviously there are tons of private schools because the really rich people don't send their it's the people who are depending on those residual checks from YouTube are the ones who are sending their kids to public schools.
Speaker: I mean, and I wonder, I don't know what's going on in New York City. Well, they just passed something. What happened? but Parents would have been on board with you for sure in Brooklyn. I mean,
Speaker: They're always looking for a fight. There's something to fight about ah AI is to be banned in New York City elementary and middle schools. There we go. so Well, AI, but... But I know, it's something. But it seems like that is that feels impossible here. I was watching the the webinar about the new screen time policy and the guy in charge of the webinar The first thing that came up when I Googled him was talking about the importance of generative ai
Speaker: and we're so I feel like Silicon Valley is like creeping into LA, like culturally. Yeah. And I think just LA, a USC being so big. I mean, but New York, I mean, New York City public schools, that's the biggest district in the country.
Speaker: But you know, there's something more... intellectual about the vibe there. like i think they would yeah I think they're more likely to question things.
Speaker: Yes. More likely to fight too. yeah and also just generally there's just more
Speaker: parents are more obsessed with their kids' education in New York from my limited experience. It seems like people here are going to throw up their hands and they're like, well... It's childcare. What are we going to do? You know, this is TV town and that's theater. So it's like, it's a different type of, you know, like the vibe is, are just more bookie in New York. I don't, I don't think, I don't think I would be told that we catch more flies with honey. I don't think I would be told that. Nobody would say that in New York. I know better. Okay.
Speaker: They're not trying to catch any flies. I know that that's not true. That's not even true. That's right. no, we need to say what we want and get it. Like, you know, you would just write a letter to mom, Donnie.
Speaker: Yeah. i'm so um I'm still so sad. I've just been feeling really sad about this whole transition. Well, it's only, how long has it been though?
Speaker: Is this only the second week? It's been a week. Yeah. Okay. It's just been a week and a week and one day. I know. All the other parents who are there like, oh, yeah, you're sad for a couple days, but then you're so happy to have your free time. And I'm like, this has not been my experience at all. Like, I'm just still gut wrenchingly sad. like yeah And it's making me worried that it was the wrong choice. And like, I'm like questioning it every day. like But you can pull him out any time, right?
Speaker: I can. I could. they I'm sure. Do they keep the money? For the first month. I mean, we haven't paid yet. and We got to pay. It's due on the fifth.
Speaker: But it's not like you have to pay for the whole school year. and No, no. It's one month at a time. Yeah. Okay. No, I'm just taking it. through I'm just trying to figure out.
Speaker: It's like very hard to tell. if Because I don't want it to just be like, this feels bad for me, so I'm pulling him out.
Speaker: Or he's having a hard time with one thing, so I'm pulling him out. like I want to make sure it's like, whatever choice I make, it's like, um i don't know.
Speaker: I don't know how to make this choice, honestly. like We're just trying something. It's one of those like ambiguous parent choices. It definitely would feel better if I had a job. Like, you know, there'd be like a reason. No, to me. Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, to me, it feels even crazy having my older child in school when I'm like, but I'm yeah just you with me. Why would i like when I i met my his teacher and she was like, oh, did you work today? And I was like, no. And then I'm like, walk why is he going there at all?
Speaker: Why is he there? no and I felt like I feel like I'm like, you know, the ducks with their ducklings. I'm like, he's not following me around anymore. Like, it's just so sad. But then if he's but he seems OK, he's way less clingy, which makes me sad, but it's probably good for him.
Speaker: I miss him being super clingy, you know. That's where I'm like, maybe it's good. Like, cause he's like more independent and okay with it. Like, and still connecting with me, but it's like, I think it's me that wanted the, just the always on me thing, you know? And he's really excited to see you when you pick him up.
Speaker: He is. Yeah. He's very happy when I see him. Yeah. But in a way that I'm like, Oh no, did you miss me? Like, I feel bad. Like, well, what, I mean, why didn would it be possible to come? You don't, not now, but like,
Speaker: Especially because it's not in school school to just pick them up before. No? I wonder. I mean, we'd probably have to, like, hide it from the other kids or something.
Speaker: I don't know. I mean. I don't know. I wonder what you would say. Like, I'm i'm going to wait a few days and see, like, vibe it out you know? um I don't know.
Speaker: it just It just makes me sad. i feel like I'm missing all this time with him. But then I'm less burnt out. you know I'm exercising, which I really need to do. like My body's falling apart.
Speaker: So it's like I'm doing things to take care of myself, which is like I know intellectually I always wanted my mom to do more of you know And I promised myself I would make that a priority if I had a kid. like Because otherwise there's this gaping hole that you want your kid to fill. And it's like, it's not a good dynamic. like but it's like But it's very hard. it's very It's very hard to feel like that's okay, even though it makes us both sad.
Speaker: The sad part makes it feel like it's wrong. The sad, the sadness. Yeah. Well, yeah. You feel sad for a reason. course. Yeah. So it's like, does that mean it we shouldn't do because it makes us sad He doesn't only feel sad all day. Like, I know that's true. Yeah. I don't know.
Speaker: But he cries when they like when they're trying to put him down. That's when he's crying. i think, but he cries sometimes with me and that when he wants to, when he needs to nap, you know? So it's like, that's, I think it's just that he cries and I'm not there. like that's that's the part that makes me sad.
Speaker: I want to be there if he's crying. Like, I don't want him to to to, I don't know. I just don't want him to be sad that I'm not there. i just want to be there. I feel like I just keep saying the same and over. Well, it's a very normal way to feel as his mother.
Speaker: think literally every other mom would be like, he's fine. go to Polanyi. but i why one but This is where I feel i'm like, am i unhealthy? Like, am I some kind of unhealthy freak? Because it's like not...
Speaker: not common i just feel so like just so no no i don't know i think you're the normal one for being so didn't even know what to search because when i searched it for reddit it was just about the kidney it was like the opposite it's like no i am sad i am sad like ah no i think i do think you're the normal one and you also like built a bond with him i think a lot of people just a lot of people go back to work earlier
Speaker: but but But, like, what's a respectful amount of distance and at what age? You know, like, I want him to feel okay self-actualizing a bit without me.
Speaker: It's just, yeah, i can't I can't always trust my gut with emotional stuff because my instincts can be very unhealthy.
Speaker: But also, Jewish mother, you want to hold on to your son. That's the that's the thing. so it's like i don't I don't want to be enough faith that sense. That's so deeply embedded in you. There's nothing you can do about It's very hard to, yeah.
Speaker: We've got to end this. Bye.
