Transcript
Speaker: Welcome back to the Boy Mom's Podcast. I am a... Ooh, I'm coming in hot there. Well, I'll have to talk quietly.
Speaker: No, you sound good. What's the latest? ah The latest is... i don't know, i feel like it's birthday party season. That's what's going on with us. I mean, just 10,000 birthday parties.
Speaker: And we're planning our own birthday party, obviously. At the playground. so are you taking any What are you learning from birthday parties you're attending that you want?
Speaker: I'm scouting. like i'm I'm seeing what what choices people are making and thinking about it. But it hasn't all compiled into a plan yet for me. And we also picked potentially the worst day to do a birthday party because it's the day after Halloween. so We already have like probably a big thing the day before and we're going to be tired. Yeah, it's going to be hard for you. It won't be hard for other people. It's just to hard for you. It might be nice for other people, actually, that it's like there's something to do the next day. i hope. I don't know.
Speaker: I mean, I'm thinking Costco is definitely going to pay ah play a role. Costco and the dollar store. i don't know. ah You know, i wanted to get a pinata. My husband said that's cultural appropriation. So don't know. I feel like it's not. I know. But I'm like, but it's we live in L.A. Like he doesn't want kids hitting things with sticks, probably.
Speaker: Well, yeah, yours. I mean, i don't know. Your kid could really get into that. Yeah, he loves. i mean, I'm true. He's been really into. And actually, the other day for the first time, he made something look like a gun and tried to make it shoot.
Speaker: Oh, really? Yes. And we had to be like, no, you cannot do that. That's scary and never do that. like um But yeah, he's very into I mean, like certain games. i mean, when I was little, we played a game called Cops and Robbers. We'd play it like on Sukkot, but like at night we'd all like run around and there'd be like a group of cops and a group of robbers and they'd like chasing and running around. I didn't have a big group of siblings. Who were you playing this with?
Speaker: It was well, it was my siblings and then we lived in a duplex. So there was a family upstairs and then there was like family that lived nearby. It's kind of like our scenario, like, but the families would come to the sukkah and then we'd like all run around. And back then i was noticing it's different now, but in the backyards on my mom's street, there were no fences. So you could run through all the backyards yeah to the other street. You know, now there's just fence after fence. You can't do that anymore. People love their off fences.
Speaker: They love a fence, you know, but um but that was so much fun to just run through the whole backyard. It was very exciting as a child, I remember. There was a next-door neighbor we were friends with, too, and I remember thinking their backyard was a huge field. And then I saw it as an adult, and I was like, this is tiny.
Speaker: like i'd Like, the image I had in my head did not match reality at all. Well, yeah, when you're a kid... Everything's so much bigger. I mean, I know it to i know it's true logically, but like you don't think about it so much experientially once you get big enough, like how much bigger everything seems to them.
Speaker: um But our our friend told me that, did I talk to you about this? What? You said ah her at her preschool, yeah someone if a kid does the gun motion, they say you're putting it on them. Like you're projecting your own associations with that. But he was literally like, I'm shooting you. like he did we have these clips. He took a clip and a pencil. clipped okay He clipped the clip ah clip onto a pencil.
Speaker: And then he pretended like the clip was the, you know, like he shaped, he like fashioned his own gun. Like basically and was like, I'm going use this as a gun. um I was like trying to shoot us with it.
Speaker: He didn't say the word gun, but he was like, I'm shooting you. But he's kind of too young to understand. Or I don't know if he did. Like my husband stopped him and was like, oh we need to talk about this. And he really thought he was going to kill you.
Speaker: I mean, he's definitely kidding around, but that's like a scary, we don't really want him. What did your, what did your husband? What did, what did he say? He was like, that's scary. Don't do like that particular type of playing. You know, I just don't want him to, I guess we don't have to like cat think that guns are casual.
Speaker: you know like Or like that they're and like a fun toy or something, I guess is the fear. Right. Because if he finds one of the many that are in your home, he will just treat you. Yeah, then obviously.
Speaker: Yeah. Especially the one, you know. That's like in his crib. Yeah. That he sleeps with. No, I don't know. ah I mean, he also has been wanting to play with swords. Like it's like. where So where did he get? You told me about some movie where he found out about swords. Yeah. Sleeping. but What about what about the guns? Where would he have gotten that from?
Speaker: Dude, I don't know. I'm like, maybe it was Ghostbusters kind of because they like shoot those rays, you know, at the ghosts. um That's the only thing I can think of that we watched that had anything like that.
Speaker: um But he's been really into like spooky, spooky, gooey stuff lately. Spooky, gooey stuff? Well, because Ghostbusters are all like super gooey. You know, it's like the gooey-ooey era of filmmaking.
Speaker: Everything had like goo or ooze in it. um So I don't know. Like that's the only thing I could think of is that maybe it was from Ghostbusters. but um But I've been trying it. I mean, that's why I think at school or I don't know where they came up with this thing of like powers, like that you're just trying to like cast a spell on someone so that there's nothing physical. what they say at school.
Speaker: i don't know if that's I don't know where he got that, but in my head, I'm like, maybe the teachers do that because then there's no physical contact if you're like casting a spell on someone. You're not hitting them. You're not shooting them. You're just... But you didn't confirm this at all. You're just assuming. no no, no. This is just in my head because I don't know where else you would gotten in You just just should ask them when you talk to the teachers again.
Speaker: Yeah, maybe I'll ask. and need have they been Have they been talking to you are they avoiding you again? We've been sick, so like I haven't seen them in a while.
Speaker: we even hope We stayed home two days, and ah and I don't do the drop-off, you know? oh you don't drop them off? No, I do the pick. I say goodbye at home. I find it nicer like to say goodbye before he gets there, like because was he's there, he's distracted, and I'm worried he did doesn't realize that I'm saying goodbye. you know like It's easier for him to focus at home to say the goodbye.
Speaker: Because once we get there, he's just immediately into the toys. And then I'm like, I want him to like register that we're leaving, you know. um It's like a focused thing. You're not getting enough attention. No, I just, don't know. It's just kind of nicer. and then like And then I don't have to go drop him off, which is nice for me.
Speaker: um And I do the pickup because he wants to, like, pickup I need to do because he's, like, waiting to see me. um So that's that's always really cute. You would really. Does he get mad when your husband's there instead of you?
Speaker: has that ever happened? pick up? We've never done that. I'm always there to pick him up. So he probably would be startled he was there. He, I don't know. He might, i mean, usually when I get there, he sees me and he's like, mommy. And then he runs up to me and jumps into my arms. So maybe he would just be like, daddy. i don't know.
Speaker: Probably depend on the day, how he's feeling about daddy. Like there's ebbs and flows. um but you at all But if he's sick, he usually wants me more, you know.
Speaker: Is he sick? We were both sick like the past couple days. He was feeling better today. So, um but yeah, what do you think? Do you think it's projection with those toys?
Speaker: um oh putting that on. No, like they are obviously pretending to shoot. Like that's what they're doing. Right. um whether How big of a deal it is, you know, maybe that's that's the question. Right. Yeah.
Speaker: Also, I think projection is something that's like initiated by the projector. Like you would say, like, you're someone who loves to shoot, shoot guns. And then the person would be like, I guess I do. If it's literally the shape of a gun, like what else could they be doing?
Speaker: What are you projecting onto them exactly? i mean, Mike always says that when he was a kid, he would make a gun out of anything like whatever yeah and yeah right like is that and now we're pretty scandalized by that but how big of a deal is it because mike hasn't shot anyone in real life yet right no and i think my husband his mom was really um strict about not playing with guns and then he joined the army so you know maybe maybe you just want to let it be fine
Speaker: But it's definitely, it must freak teachers out. I mean, i just feel like there's so much collective trauma about like kids having guns at this point because of all the shootings. So it's like scarier to see.
Speaker: But ah yeah, I don't know. I mean, that kind of thing where it's like, do you notice the bad behavior and give it attention or do you ignore it and it just goes away? Like, it's I mean, that's a question.
Speaker: You could explain when they have the capacity. Like I feel like my older child, i could have a conversation about it that would be productive.
Speaker: But with younger children, it's that wouldn't, you know. You would have to have as few words as possible, you know. Yes, because they're all id. They're just like, I want to do this now. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, God. No, somebody told me last night that their mom was a nurse and that they their mom like told them that like people ride on those electric scooters and then they never look the same. And so they were like never allowed on an electric scooter.
Speaker: And I was like, ah I'm glad that worked. Like, cause I definitely don't want my kid on any of those electric scooters. They had like seen them a lot in the emergency room and they told them that as like a young teen. And so they never went on the electric scooter. And I'm like, God, I hope that works. Like, Yeah, no, you have to, I think you have to plan it at the right time, right? Like that's, right it has to be before it's, before they would turn against you or question it it. has to be while you still are, you know, you have all knowledge in the world and you should be trusted.
Speaker: Right. But then during teenage years, don't they just try out doing everything you said not to do? like I don't think that's true. you don't think so? I knew you did that, but I certainly didn't do that.
Speaker: Well, just differentiation, like in general, is what's healthy to do as a teenager. and know. like i know like it's a Yeah. I mean, I know so many people who aren't that different from their parents.
Speaker: Yeah, me too. You know, and I don't know what it is. I think that's just how they turned out. ah Well, the people I know who are similar to their parents were different between the ages of like 16 and 23.
Speaker: they came around. And then they came back around and were like, actually, that looks pretty good now that I tried this other stuff. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So they had like a home base to go back to um But they definitely like broke out and did their own thing for a while.
Speaker: But yeah, it's like you go off, you try your rebellious time and then and then you theoretically come back. I guess if there's like a stable, nice stable thing to come back to.
Speaker: and what does that look like? Like what is the rebellion or what's the purpose of the rebellion? Differentiation. Just to be. To find out who you are, like your identity, make, you know, like make choices, make conscious choices about your identity.
Speaker: Right. But I feel like you can do that without doing bad things, right? like It's not all bad. drink a lot No, it doesn't mean you have to go drink a lot. You can just like dress goth or try I don't know. Try you just do stuff that like wasn't the norm, I think.
Speaker: Or like you travel, you know, like you spend a year abroad in college or whatever. ah background okay I'm trying to think like what people did. But yeah, a lot of the kids, I mean, especially at the Jewish day school I went to there was nothing like that happening.
Speaker: Like. they just they were not They were not having any period of rebelling. no they seemed like perfectly content to just uphold exactly the same life that their parents had. And I was always like kind of like amazed. I would like marvel at that and not understand it at all kind of.
Speaker: But if that is that is what they were choosing and they liked, like cause what does that mean to not they just What did they do that their parents did? They just they went into exactly like conventional fields of study. and Some of them took over their parents' businesses. some Some of them became exactly the same profession as their parents. you know Some of them slightly different profession, but always within the realm of like business, medicine, or law um
Speaker: And they live in the same neighborhood. Like, it's like, to me, it's like, how much of a choice is it if you've never experienced anything else? But I guess if you're content, it's like this, there's a principle in Judaism or probably other religions where it's like, you're just happy with your lot. Like, you don't want anything more. You don't think of anything more, you know? And I guess that's like having a really healthy relationship.
Speaker: childhood where you feel completely loved and like like unconditionally and you're like, why would I need anything else from anybody? I get everything I need here. Yeah. yeah So I guess I'm just like, I just didn't understand. I was like, how are you not like thirsting for the world right now? Like it just doesn't make sense to me.
Speaker: Yeah. They had a stable home and they're fine. Yeah. They didn't, yeah. They don't need to see India, you know, they don't need to do anything. They're just good. They'll just go to school and get a job. and They're focusing on um deepening what they already have, right? Or like deepening the relationships, the people. Yes. oh And like making those roots stronger as opposed to looking for novelty. Yeah, it's really beautiful. I think some of it is also that there's a very high ratio in the Jewish community Montreal of descendants of Holocaust survivors. Right.
Speaker: And I've actually been thinking about this recently because like when bad things happen in your life, obviously makes you appreciate the good things even more. So it's like, I think it's just like, ah you know, what could be better after such a trauma to just have a like nice, small, safe circle of people you trust and love?
Speaker: You know, why would you even want to try to venture out of that? Like, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. So, I mean, that could also psychologically play a role, whereas, like, I'm not the descendant of ah Holocaust victims on either side. Like everybody, we didn't have the same kind of drama. Like there's relatives. It's like we kind of like hear echoes, you know, there were like cousins, you know, like who like hid, you know,
Speaker: But a lot of these kids have money their own now. Like, it's like they don't really need their parents. ah Although some of them work for their family business, you know. um So, yeah, it's a comfortable job. Like, and it's comfortable when you work for family. Like, if you need to take a day off, you know, or whatever. Like, it's your dad's not going to say no, you know. Yeah.
Speaker: What a life. So it's like, it's nice. But they still, they're working hard. I mean, they were always more like nose to the grindstone than with me than me with like conventional work. They all somehow understood that life was a game on like a much deeper level than I did at a younger age.
Speaker: Like they would just go into the class and be like, what do I need to do to get an a Right, right. And I would just be like, what are we learning? Like, you know, like we're just like a very different, operational modes.
Speaker: They just played the game and they were okay with playing the game. And I've been thinking about a lot lately, actually about that quote. I think it's Kafka who said like, it said, I'm paraphrasing, but it's something like I was, I was dismayed to realize that life is a costume party and I just showed up as myself, you know?
Speaker: Ooh. Like you're just not supposed to actually do that. Yeah. But I can't, was like, I don't like, I find it more uncomfortable to wear a costume, but I think ah most people feel more comfortable.
Speaker: In the costume. In the costume. yeah I don't know. Then again, I wanted to be in the profession where I wear costumes. Because then they're not vulnerable if they're dressed in a costume.
Speaker: Right. And that also means any criticism, anything is not affecting them as much. Right. Well, people are uncomfortable when you don't have a costume because they don't know what to do with you. Like, it's like you're supposed to be signaling what category they should put you in.
Speaker: And that's what's comfortable for them. But it's like if you don't signal anything, they're just it's like there's some kind of cognitive dissonance where it's like, I don't know what this is, but I don't want to deal with it.
Speaker: like And then the only other people who seem to understand are the other people not in the costumes, right? Yeah, it does feel this way, right? like Like there's kind of an us and a them situation with the costumes. I mean, we're obviously non-costume people as are our husbands.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah, yeah i have trouble I have trouble maintaining a costume. I can do it for like a like a certain window of time. Like it's like if I know I have to go to, let's say like a situation where I'm going to have to be social with people I don't know that well.
Speaker: um You know, I can put on this ah identity or whatever, just like something that will hopefully make everyone more comfortable than me just being like, well, but the the older I get, the the harder it is to ah pretend anything.
Speaker: at all ever I mean even like yeah anyway even when I'm supposed to even when I'm on stage like I'm like I I can't for like I just I'm just there you know we're literally on stage more than ever this is this chance to pretend is yeah I should be playing pretend um but you know this is why I'm actually this is why I say I'm like I'm so truly a terrible actor like I'm horrible at acting and it's because i so i I simply can't do it I'm so bad at it because I can't I don't believe that I feel i'm i think I'm really bad like I did it in high school like I was always in the shows in high school i always like got some part but then I you're not that bad
Speaker: But no, I was just like court, like, actually I didn't get a part. I didn't get a part in Footloose. Okay. Um, I didn't get a part in Footloose. And then it kind of confronted the theater teacher in a way that he really liked.
Speaker: And then he put me in every single show after that. But as like, as you yeah, because he just liked me and like, man I don't know. This is back when teachers were a little too real, you know?
Speaker: Um, They really connected with their, they you know, they were all like friends on Facebook, that sort of thing. um Oh, yeah. There weren't like walls. ah Boundaries. Yeah. So I would, ah i I was in all the shows, but I truly could not act. I would do my monologue for my audition and I could tell i was doing a terrible job.
Speaker: um I'm sure you could be good, though. can not I could see you being good as like like, what's her name from Parks and Rec? Like the bitter one. What is her name? Oh, April? like Yeah. haa You could be a good Aubrey Plaza. If I'm just deadpan. Yeah, I guess if i'm liter if I'm truly playing myself, maybe I could do that. Well, that's all they want for TV and film is just to be yourself.
Speaker: They don't even want you to act, really. That's like a theater thing. Okay, well then. is You're just Paige in this scenario or Paige in that scenario. Like they want you to act the scenario, but they want you to be you. I mean, that's that's my latest theory because that's what everyone's doing and it works.
Speaker: That and like don't you do too much with your face, but you definitely don't have that problem. No, I think you'd actually be great. I think you're 100% wrong on this one.
Speaker: I mean, you heard my robot voice. Yeah. I can be a robot. Yeah, you can be a robot. Or like somebody that's, you know.
Speaker: um but Okay, so what are your tips? Like, let's say I'm planning this birthday party. Like, what are your what are your hot tips for for planning a birthday party?
Speaker: Have way more food than you think you will need.
Speaker: and You'll have more people come if you invite them individually. think it's been true for me, but. Well, cause you do analog page hands out actual invitations.
Speaker: And then I, ah and then I follow it. Cause like if you do party fold, you get like a reminder. Yeah. So my version of that, but I'm just, I'm very close to everyone I invite to the party. So like, I know I'm going to see them a couple of days before.
Speaker: And I can just say, oh, are you going? ah And then I always tell everyone when I hand them the invitation, I assume you are going unless you tell me otherwise. Oh, that's good.
Speaker: Yeah. I don't put any RSVP. I don't put my phone number. Like everyone has my phone number, you know, because I'm so close to everyone that I invite. It makes it a lot easier because I can. kind How do you maintain so many close friendships at the same time?
Speaker: I just can't not be close to anyone that I'm friends with. Okay, so it's just whoever. But you have so many, like, you have so many, like, how do you feel so comfortable with all of them to be close?
Speaker: I mean, I think I am fairly particular, right? Like, I feel i do have a lot of friends, but I do feel like genuinely close to all of them.
Speaker: And feel very familiar with them. Yeah. And it just, my focus is my family, my friends, my mom, I don't have a job. i don't have a lot going on. So I can really, i can take the time to tend to,
Speaker: To my friendships the way maybe other people can't. Right. um And i'm ah I'm a curious person. I like knowing about other people. I'm a writer. That's the thing, yeah. I think it's that. It's that you like really can actually get into what's going on with other people. like Whereas most people, like myself, get like blinded by...
Speaker: whatever is going on with them. So they're like less curious about other people. Yeah. And find people like that tend to not have as many, they might have a lot of friends, but they might not have as many close friends.
Speaker: It's hard. I mean, I, well, I think for me, it's two reasons. It's that, it's that like, I, for whatever, I'm very naturally self-involved. So, like, it takes, like, me consciously being, like – and it's not that I'm not curious about other people. It's that I just get, like, stuck in my own, like, spinning out situation. And then I have to consciously be, like, you also want to know what's going on with them. Like, stop talking about yourself and ask them what's going on with them. And, you know, and then I'd be, like, oh, good. I, like – Because when I forget to do that, I really regret it after the social interaction. But sometimes if the reminder doesn't pop up in my head, it just doesn't like register. Like it's like I just literally just don't remember. Yeah, you have to train. I think you have to train yourself to do that. And it's it's important to try.
Speaker: and you have to remember that and it benefits you. like Yes. It's a circle, right? If you only think about yourself, then it only causes you more anxiety, right? And you're ruminating, whatever. Yes. Whereas if you think about other people, you will naturally become less anxious and less like yeah it's just counterintuitive because it feels like your own life is a fire that you always need to be putting out so it's like if you stop tending to it it's scary because then the fire might take over which is like it won't not real that's not real
Speaker: um But then the other reason is that i'm I think I'm just like also naturally, i mean, i talked about this before, but I'm like scared of people and scared that they are just just, I project a lot of negativity onto them now that we're talking about projection, but I'm like, they don't like like, I assume default, they don't like me. They don't want to be my friend. So I don't try, you know?
Speaker: Right, right. And then it takes like certain scenarios for me to be like, oh, they do, you know, like to actually let that in.
Speaker: Right. because by end by But by even thinking that way, you're you're thinking about yourself, right? Like yeah you're making about you. The real secret is you just have to be, you have to find more people like me. I have lots of friends like you.
Speaker: Because that makes sense. because i I think more people are like me. You're like, you have a gift. i i But I have this space for letting them lose their minds and talk about themselves incessantly. Yeah. Because I give them the space to do that. But do you also, like do you do that thing? Do you think in part because you're not comfortable taking up the space and talking about yourself incessantly? Like...
Speaker: I mean, I'll talk about myself if I i have something to share, too, with you. Right. You know, I'm a problem solver, and I want to help people. so I'm going to steer the conversation. to it And I'm curious about people. So I think I just naturally. Right.
Speaker: It's that um what's called journalist in you. Right. You want to know what's going on. yeah. yeah Yeah. Getting into it.
Speaker: It's just interesting. i Yeah, like I think it's it's more rare to be like you, but it's also more like coveted. Like it makes you a magnet when you're curious about other people. I mean, and my husband is kind of like that.
Speaker: I don't know. He always said he read the book How to Win Friends and Influence People. and He He really? He loved that book. And that explains everything. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I just didn't even need to read that, but also I'm not like successful. Like I'm not, it doesn't benefit me.
Speaker: like financially or anything to weigh that? Well, I mean, social is everything. i'm like I mean, especially as we age, it's like it's what keeps your brain good. It's what keeps you having like a sense of um wanting to stick around in this life. Like it keeps your memory better. And it does help eventually for jobs. Like it's your net it's also your network. Like if you were one day to want a job, unlikely, but it's like,
Speaker: You know, ah these would be people that like could help you you, know, because they love you and they're your friends. Like those are the people who help you get a job most of the time. I don't know.
Speaker: Like despite my curiosity and being able to maintain a lot of friendships, I think in that environment, I'm not. No, the professional environment, that's the thing. That's where you're supposed to be masking. like Yes. And like, I'm not at at all when I'm just like.
Speaker: Hanging out, you know. Yeah, because if people are, ah they've clocked out. So it's like, and it's the people who are not at work who are hanging out. Like, it's like, so these, it's like, there's a certain type of person who's around um the playground during the day. You know, it's like, they're not the like career driven types.
Speaker: Right. Right. Yeah. Right. There's a reason we all mesh well together, you know. Yeah. Because we have similar lifestyles. We've made certain choices.
Speaker: Yeah, the professional thing, I've never been able to figure it out. Truly. I'm like, if someone's going to hire me, it's going to be a company that's not that professional. Like it's going to be some kind of casual scenario. Like, but that's where I think like for comedy, theoretically, like if you're doing standup and stuff, not that we should talk so much about this, but like comedians are never, there's never, you can be real.
Speaker: That's, that's always been a nice thing about, I mean, real to a fault where it's like, there are a bunch of assholes in the room, but they're not trying to pretend not to be. There's something comforting about that to me.
Speaker: Right, right. And that's why you should just, if you are a stand-up comedian... um You should be able to speak freely.
Speaker: shoot. Call women whenever you want, okay? If they dress like who's at the gym. oh when i read When I read what he said, i was just like, are you serious? Everyone's mad about this? I couldn't believe it. Just literally like a hack street joke. guy Like who cares? know.
Speaker: People just want a place to ah put their vitriol and and they don't want it to be the person who actually deserves it because it's too depressing. He's a scapegoat.
Speaker: Yeah, the person they're actually mad at is Trump, but it's like they feel powerless about that. Even Trump is scapegoat. It makes me feel like everyone truly is stuck in 2017. Maybe we are.
Speaker: like all maybe we are Like we we have refused to move past 2017 back when we were all young and felt like we had the power to change things.
Speaker: by by not By moving on, we would be admitting that we don't have that power. we failed. Not exactly, yeah Yeah. but i But it would definitely help to admit that we failed.
Speaker: Because then we could come up with a different strategy. Exactly. at least be less neurotic and annoying. It's just negativity doesn't work. like You don't build new things by being negative. you know You have to build new worlds by Or I think by like affirming what you do want. It's not, not, not spending all your focus on what you don't want. Like then you're giving it a lot of power and energy. I'm an optimist in the house, everybody.
Speaker: Everything. Yeah. You know, you are admitting that things aren't so bad. and All I've gotten for but in the past few months is negativity from you. And now the truth comes out. It's all. now that we've, now that that my husband's unemployment finally came through. Everything's I'm like less ter existentially terrified. I mean, you know.
Speaker: God, it really. I mean, that's why I was like, even regular things, I'm like, that's great. You know, like, I'm just like. Beautiful. Newly summer. Okay.
Speaker: Yeah. Totally, actually. Well, and that there's like a job. Just somebody replied to a job application. Like all I needed was for one person. You are alive. To acknowledge that these job applications have been going out because it's been like hundreds. Like hundreds? And i just needed.
Speaker: yeah I've been applying to jobs every day. Like. It's been crazy. so and it's like, it's really been scary because I'm like, how many But finally, one was like, and it was actually like things I'm qualified to do. Because I was also tripping out like being like, I'm not qualified for any job. Like nobody, none of these actually are like things that are meant for me with my skill set. But then like, so one person replied and it's for stuff I'm qualified for. so I'm like, yeah. Even just knowing that there are jobs like that is like a huge relief like out there, you know?
Speaker: No. And I think that's a good even if it feels like I need to do 15 job applications every day. It's like, no, like just do the ones that you're so obviously qualified for.
Speaker: Right. But the thing is, there's like, there's like one of those a week. Like it's like, there's really not a lot of. does seem like you're more likely to be successful if you just target. And then you won't be so down. Like you won't have that feeling of rejection. From nobody replying. Well, it's like, cause I'm also applying, there's other stuff I'm qualified for. Like, it's like, you know, i'm also applying to be like a waitress places and all that other stuff, but it doesn't really utilize all my, uh,
Speaker: like skills to the best of my ability but i definitely like know how to wait tables you know um or know how to be a barista um but uh those ones also weren't it's like the jobs i thought were like easier to get have also not been replying so it's just been like really scary but there's also a problem with being even if it's not true overqualified Right, yeah. Well, no, I have a different resume for the waitressing stuff. Oh, you're not like, and I got my BA at Canada University. Well, I say BA, BFA or whatever, but BFA, I feel like goes hand in hand with the waitressing. I mean...
Speaker: But maybe they believe in you too much. Maybe they're like, she's going to make it big and more we'll never see her again. oh sure. Sure. Yeah, I'm sure that's the issue. No, I think it's just that waitressing is a lot of people's backup plans and a lot of people are yeah on their backup plan right now in L.A.
Speaker: Do you know what I think you should be doing? What? to get Trying to be an actor more than ever. can think where you are in your life, being 41 or whatever, up this is what it's been leading up to. Like this is you're in this play. No, me too. I've been waiting for my forty s my whole life. Yeah. I think it's time to really act yeah hit the ground running with – you have an agent, right? You have an agent?
Speaker: No, she quit being an agent. And so did my manager. They all quit. I i never made them a dime. and then they quit being what they were. because So, but, but yeah, I've been waiting. I've always felt like I'd hit my stride in my forties with performing. um I just didn't realize how tired I would be, but yes, I mean, i would love to do more acting. So get discovered via central casting. Okay. Okay. Uh-huh, yeah.
Speaker: I signed up. I'm in there. If they need someone to say a line, or do there are always opportunities to... um get Well, you're in SAG, right? No, no, no. You're not in SAG? Okay. no um Okay, well, then you just got to kiss someone. remember one time they wanted me to kiss someone, and then I would have gotten like points or whatever.
Speaker: to yeah but I don't think at my age that'll be the in for this haggard mom-like lady. Got to kiss someone on camera. ah ah Those days are long gone. I definitely act like I'm way older than I am. I remember what you said with my improv team. You're like, don't be the person who always talks about being old, you know? And it's so hard not to. I said two things last night. It's so annoying. It's so annoying when people do that. I was like, I didn't know if the kids were still doing raves and I shouldn't have said that. And then the other thing that I said was ah someone said it was hot in the theater and I was like, I don't feel hot and I should feel hot. I'm in perimenopause. No, no. That just makes everyone feel weird. and You just got to be you know just be a person. you don't have to be one of the kids.
Speaker: Right. just have to not make your age. they're not even all that – some of them are age. They're probably like my age. They're not –
Speaker: Right. No, I know. i know. Well, some of them are. and There's a couple of people who are pretty young on the team. It's it's a big range. um But okay, fine, and fine. i mean, my husband also wants to try to be an actress. I guess we'll just be famous actors. He's doing very well.
Speaker: He's so good. I mean, like, he's just naturally so good. i have a lot of training, so I'm good. But, like, he's, like, just, he didn't need any that. He didn't need any training. he just He just showed up to my house wearing a cowboy hat.
Speaker: And I'm like, what are you doing? But he's just always, you know? He's like, Rina's not here, so I can wear the cowboy hat. All right.
Speaker: I guess this is, we've been doing this all year. I feel like this is enough. I think we crushed it. Did we talk about being a mom?
Speaker: I mean, I talked about birthday parties. i feel like that's very mom me. I'm sure you're all very happy listeners. Thank you.
