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Feel It. Don’t Fight It. Charlie Goldsmith on Growth Without Resistance
410 Plays15 days ago
In this expansive and eye-opening conversation, Scott Schwenk sits down with globally recognized energy healer and author Charlie Goldsmith to explore the mechanics of how we can heal deeply and powerfully, beyond what our limiting beliefs tell us is possible.
Charlie shares a radically simple but profound teaching: growth is not about fixing yourself — it’s about feeling what you feel without rejection. From parts work (healing shadow) and overwhelm to generational conditioning and the true nature of money, this dialogue reframes suffering, healing, and success through the lens of acceptance.
Charlie also leads a powerful guided practice to help listeners directly experience what it means to let an emotion “come home.”
This episode is a deep dive into inner peace, energy healing, and the subtle shift that changes everything.
Charlie Goldsmith
Recognised internationally for his work, Charlie Goldsmith has spent almost thirty years practicing and sharing his approach across public, clinical, and research settings.
Charlie Goldsmith spontaneously discovered his healing ability at 18. He quickly realized both how misunderstood and how powerful it was. Recognizing the lack of credibility and opportunity in the field, he has dedicated his life to bringing credibility and driving real, lasting change in this area.
Charlie became the subject of TLC’s TV series The Healer, which followed his work and offered a closer look at his unique approach. Despite ongoing skepticism around energy medicine, many people—including medical professionals—expressed surprise at what they observed during his sessions.
He now collaborates with hospitals, universities, and health institutions, where is work is part of ongoing studies. In addition to this research, Charlie continues to share his teachings through live events and his book Human Medicine, which outlines the mechanics of emotion and the inner world. He has also developed Ennie, a platform designed to bring more clarity, credibility, and accessibility to the field of energy work. Across all these initiatives, Charlie remains committed to creating greater understanding between energy medicine and modern medicine.
Scott Schwenk
Scott’s teachings, courses and master coaching guide leaders, seekers and creatives to explore the embodiment of their deepest selves in service of thriving on all levels of being, both individually and relationally.
You can receive a free guided meditation and explore Scott’s courses, workshops, retreats, training and master coaching at https://scottschwenk.com and can find him on Instagram @thescottschwenk.
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Transcript
Introduction and Meditation
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to The Choice to Grow. I'm Scott Schwenk. Through these dialogues, we'll explore fresh perspectives and discover practical tools for navigating a thriving life that adds value wherever we are.
00:00:14
Speaker
I'll introduce you to innovators and creators from across our world who embody what it means to cultivate growing as a way of life. Let's prepare together.
00:00:24
Speaker
Take a deep breath in.
00:00:28
Speaker
Hold the breath briefly as you soften your shoulders and soften the soles of your feet and palms of your hands. Then exhale like you're releasing tension and setting down a heavy burden from every cell.
00:00:41
Speaker
Ah. Now let's dive in.
Meet Charlie Goldsmith: Energy Healing Background
00:00:48
Speaker
Welcome back, everybody. I am so happy to be with you here again in another fresh dialogue and the choice to grow. And today we're with Charlie Goldsmith. And Charlie is somebody, unlike many of the previous guests who I don't yet know in this life very well, and came across through a dear friend, Dr. Alejandro Jünger, who's been on the show about gut health, made a post about him.
00:01:12
Speaker
And so I looked into him, I picked up his book, Human Medicine, which I do recommend. Charlie is a globally recognized energy healer and teacher, and his work has challenged the boundaries of conventional medicine and inspired millions. He was born in Australia, you'll hear that in his accent, in 1980. And he discovered his abilities around the age of 18 during a spontaneous and life-altering experience.
00:01:38
Speaker
Since then, he spent over two decades demonstrating real-time healing of chronic pain, infections, and other conditions, often in front of doctors, cameras, and live audiences.
00:01:49
Speaker
First came to widespread attention with this show called The Healer, ah television series that was on the Learning Channel and that followed him as he worked with patients suffering from persistent medically unexplained symptoms.
00:02:02
Speaker
One of the things I discovered in doing my due diligence on Charlie is a real commitment and interest in research being done on these capacities and possibilities for him. And so without further ado, welcome Charlie. It's great to have you here.
00:02:17
Speaker
Thank you, Scott. It's great to meet you, to sort of face to face. is Sort of? close as we've been. But yeah, thank you so much. And I just saw at the very, my eye caught the end. Are you in l LA?
00:02:30
Speaker
Yeah, i I'm not in l LA. I'm in California. Yeah. Okay. I'm in l LA for a long time. Nice. Yeah. It's good spot for many things. So yeah I've been here for about two years.
Growth as a Choice: Facing Challenges
00:02:42
Speaker
All right. So, so The choice to grow. When you hear that title, Freshly Today, what does that evoke for you? The choice to grow.
00:02:53
Speaker
um I mean, I think that if you ever, if you if if you're someone who prioritizes growth, you know that it is a choice.
00:03:06
Speaker
ah All things are a choice essentially, and whether it be a conscious choice or or unconscious, but we do, we continually make choices or decisions. So like growth is something that, you know, in my life, I have benefited from a lot, you know, from making choices to improve, to face you know hard problems
00:03:39
Speaker
hard things and to to look at myself and say there are things I don't like or things I would like to improve and um and and ultimately in those choices sometimes you have to feel some level of shame or embarrassment or and be willing to do that and that is a choice and and in that choice then you get to hopefully make positive decisions change and but it is always a choice i think that's the you know growth does happen by by continually by choice so so does demise actually uh so yeah i think that's what it says to me is that like you can't grow it's why i guess they say you can't force someone to grow because they must make that choice and you can't make a choice for someone
00:04:32
Speaker
So it's ah it's a fundamental part of... um I suppose, being human and and the the the continued decisions we get put in front of us, conscious or unconscious, where we're choosing different pathways all the time. So, you know, every day for me is full of choices and and and they determine, you know, where I'm going to end up.
00:05:04
Speaker
Yeah. Growing or not growing, you know? imagine I know I've encountered a number of them in my own clients and students and in myself at different moments. I'm sure you have as well.
00:05:16
Speaker
When people who are so really feeling stuck in an emotional condition, a physical condition, something that has quite a root system to it, and it's been with them for quite a while and they've suffered about it, to hear that there's a choice seems to be a cognitive dissonance for folks in the beginning of their journey.
Emotional Growth: Acceptance and Integration
00:05:37
Speaker
I can feel quite painful when you hear that, like because the understandable response is, my life in this moment is not a choice, because why would I choose this? you know But I think that that what people don't separate is there's the outer world.
00:05:53
Speaker
So this is my experience of the world. And then then there's the inner world. the outer world, you we seemingly get less choices um despite our best efforts compared to what we do on the inner world. And that where growth growth is an inner experience ah much more than it is an outer, you know. So i think that that really understanding experience you know growing doesn't mean i won't have hard things happen it means i will handle those hard things better people there's no person in this world um that doesn't have difficult events but the person who has prioritized growth
00:06:33
Speaker
will process difficult things more easily. And so it doesn't really matter what you're going through. The choice to to to improve your inner world exists for all people. If anything, it exists better for the people who are going through something harder because It's like fitness a little bit. of your If you you're not going to get fit um sitting on the couch, you know you're going to you're going to run and do hard things and weights and whatever. And emotion is a similar thing. When you're having difficult things happen, there's a bigger opportunity for emotional fitness.
00:07:07
Speaker
um and And so ultimately, when you decide to grow, it's a very interesting thing because growing internally is really just...
00:07:19
Speaker
not resisting reality as it is and not resisting your own emotion as it presents to you, ah which is which is, you know, for the people who are suffering in a way where they resist growth, that what they're sort of saying is, I'm i'm i'm feeling a way and I'm in a place I don't want to be and I hate it and I'm going to continue to hate it because that is justified because look at my life. Right. the person who is growth minded will say, well, this is my current situation.
00:07:51
Speaker
It's my current reality in this moment. And I'm going to be willing to feel the feelings that that come up because of this situation. instead of resisting it and then what happens is you you process the feelings and the suffering of the situation diminishes pretty dramatically often once you do that then you you you'll often find the situation can also externally change but
00:08:24
Speaker
You know, most people don't really want to to accept a difficult situation as something they should accept. But the reality is sometimes we have to.
00:08:34
Speaker
In fact, we always have to. We just we just choose not to, you know? yeah Yeah. Thanks for breaking that down. It's my experience as well that it seems like most of us, maybe there's some few rare exceptions we learn from contrast.
00:08:54
Speaker
There's work that I've been receiving for, i don't know, about 30 years, an energetic form of chiropractic called Network. And i've been Donny Epstein was the creator of it. and He talks about from his view, and I think it's pulling on Ken Wilber's integral theory stuff, ti first tier dynamics, second tier dynamics. In the first tier which where he sees most people living, we require pain to crack us open and grow.
00:09:20
Speaker
And so we keep creating it like you make you know you make a million dollars, you lose a million dollars. You build the muscles, suddenly throw your back out. like This kind of coming back down to this familiar imprint.
00:09:36
Speaker
You get a ah healing from somebody incredible or or have some sort of a spontaneous healing and then create something else like this. So that's part of the dynamic I'm very, very curious about is what it really takes for us collectively or even individually to step into the place where we grow, but we're not requiring suffering to do so.
00:10:04
Speaker
who and the The motion is there. i don't I view it a tiny bit differently to how you just said it. so ultimately, if you think about a human,
00:10:15
Speaker
where we have all these natural aspects to our personalities, happiness, sadness, anger, love, you know, um humor and and ah and ah and a whole range of other emotions. And as we grow from infant to adult, all these parts of us mature.
00:10:36
Speaker
Our sense of humour is mature, our work ethic, ah you know, all these things mature. And so growth is essentially the maturing of all these parts and then all these parts working together collectively in the best interest of us.
00:10:54
Speaker
But what happens is as we grow up and with through society and um parenting and all the different things that go on, we ostracize some of these important parts of us and they cease to grow.
00:11:11
Speaker
and the the And then what happens is when we're in difficult circumstances, we overreact, we um we get into overwhelmed states, which would which is what we would call immaturity, I suppose. Someone getting too angry at a circumstance or too upset. So you would say that that person is not matured in that area. And so I think what happens is it's not that we need pain to grow. It's that if the pain part of us, the part that
Navigating Emotions: Tools for Life
00:11:40
Speaker
handles difficult circumstances is not
00:11:44
Speaker
matured then it will keep coming up until we finally embrace that part of us and it integrates with the rest of us and ultimately you get that is what we call maturing or growth so it's not this it's not this absolute need for pain it's that if that part of you is something that you reject then it will keep coming up until you accept it as a natural part of being human. And so so I don't see it that way. Like you outright, you need pain to grow. It's not I don't think it's as simple as that. We ultimately need all the different aspects of our personality to work harmoniously
00:12:27
Speaker
And that is growth. But when we get these dominant parts that we keep saying, you know, that we reject, like, I don't want to feel pain. i don't want to suffer. i don't want to feel sad. i don't want to feel anxiety. And we drink to or take Valium or Xanax. You know, we're doing all these things. We're rejecting these parts because we don't want to feel them. And ultimately growth is the willingness to feel all of our parts, right?
00:12:52
Speaker
in that willingness, then those parts integrate and work cohesively. And that's what we would call someone who's done a lot of growth or who's matured because they're able to handle more things more easily. So if i reject pain or fear, then when I have a fear or pain event,
00:13:10
Speaker
ah my emotion will be heightened ah relative to the event. So that's what we would call not mature, you know? And so, whereas the person who's done a lot of work, they will they will seemingly handle a difficult circumstance much better. And the reason is because they accept that part of them.
00:13:29
Speaker
it works cohesively with the whole of their personality and that's what growth is so as an example you might find there are people who have uh who need love to mature not pain because that's the part of them they've rejected so it's not cut and dry that you need hard events it's that you need to accept all parts of your personality in order to be a fully functional human.
00:14:00
Speaker
And so i think that, that and i and I wrote about this obviously, but I think that that's where it's this misunderstanding, like, yes, um we can grow, we grow from adversity, but adversity is literally just our response to an event, isn't it? So adversity is not a circumstance. It's how the circumstance affects us. And if we have ah an overwhelmed response to a circumstance,
00:14:27
Speaker
that overwhelm shows a part of us that we don't want to feel. And that's where the potential for growth is. So the overwhelm is and is a is a signpost that there's a part of me that I don't want to feel. So it's very overwhelming. And when I decide I'm willing to feel this part, it ceases to be overwhelming and it becomes part of our whole personality.
00:14:52
Speaker
And then once that happens, then the next time we face a difficult event, we're we're not likely to go into the overwhelmed state. So that's the growth is that it's the acceptance of the, of the part. So it's like,
00:15:05
Speaker
It's like anywhere you see overwhelm or you feel overwhelmed, you can recognize that's a part of you that hasn't matured or is rejected is ah is is how I think of it. And when we stop rejecting that that part of us, it it it it it no longer goes into this overwhelmed state when that part of us is activated. We call it triggered when it's ah in overwhelm.
00:15:30
Speaker
Right. But um and that's in it's in that trigger is the opportunity to see this this part of us that hasn't matured along with the rest of us. Yeah.
00:15:44
Speaker
So when I listen to this, when I feel this, when I kind of look at the the trajectory of my experience with myself and with clients over the years, this points for me at an underlying connection to a secure sense of self that can pick up, that can meet, that I can trust to pick up and meet parts that are fragmented, that are split, that are difficult, or or even at the top end of the threshold. People don't talk so much about the top end of the threshold, like having a greater capacity for joy, love,
00:16:18
Speaker
happiness, contentment, like that. We talk about the bottom end a lot. And so I'm curious your experience of how this seems to tie back to what's a hot topic these days in in healing circles, which is attachment.
00:16:33
Speaker
How we formed ah or didn't form a healthy attachment with mom, dad, or whoever the primary was and didn't get those five healthy forms of attachment, safety and protection, attunement,
00:16:44
Speaker
regulation express delight and support and encouragement. So we don't we don't know where to go in the overwhelm and we just loop. So back to some sort of how do I form a secure attachment with my core self?
00:16:58
Speaker
Well, I think, I guess that's the the point is that those different attachment styles are essentially, I feel overwhelming. I feel an overwhelming emotion when I don't hear from you, right? So anxious. I feel an overwhelming attach ah ah feeling when you're,
00:17:17
Speaker
ah coming at me too hard, detached. So they're still overwhelming, right? So one of us makes us need to grab and bring you close. so the other one makes us need to run away. and and But in both cases, it's, you know, coming back to what I said before is I feel overwhelmed. And my solution to being overwhelmed is i either need you close, so i the the overwhelming feeling goes away,
00:17:40
Speaker
I need you to tell me certain things. I need you to reassure me. I need you to, you know, whatever the anxious version is. And then the avoidant needs to run away to regulate. So you'rere you're coming on too strong. ah you're You're saying two nice things or you want future commitment and that feels overwhelming. going to need some space for a week or two and then I'll come back regulated and you need to learn to not say things that bring me into overwhelm. So what we're trying to do is we're trying to control the external world to pacify the overwhelm within us.
00:18:15
Speaker
And so but the overwhelm is showing that we have a part that we have rejected in childhood because of our parent parent k parenting style, the the way we were parented.
00:18:28
Speaker
um And so essentially what we need to do is instead of trying to control the outer world to pacify the inner, what we really want to do is say, oh i have I'm in overwhelm right now. So that's a part of me that I have rejected, that I am scared to feel, but it's still a part of me. So this is my inner world.
00:18:48
Speaker
I am going to embrace this part of me, even though it does feel hard because it is in an overwhelmed state, in order to embrace it. So I integrate it and it becomes part of my whole ah personality that I have access to without the overwhelm. So Essentially, it's like it's a little bit like that the cure to um being afraid of public speaking is public speaking. The cure to fear of heights is going up the height. So it's walking towards the thing that scares you, that brings it out of the overwhelm. So if I'm scared of public speaking, which I certainly once was, that felt i had an overwhelming feeling of I must not do that.
00:19:33
Speaker
And so the solution to that was to not do it. Then I felt fine. the the but when i went towards it the overwhelm became so intense i was like couldn't bear it so at one point i had no choice because of my career path that i had to do it and so i walked towards the overwhelm and it cured it and so so in the attachment styles it's principally identical what makes me feel overwhelmed within a relationship dynamic oh when i don't hear from you So what's the solution to that? It's to be willing to feel the feeling of not hearing from you without needing you to adjust your behavior so I don't feel that.
00:20:14
Speaker
That's the exact same thing as walking onto the stage and speaking despite the overwhelm. For the avoidant, it's I want to run away because I feel overwhelmed, but I am going to sit here being willing to feel the overwhelm in order to tell that part of me that has the bruising from childhood, that's made the rejection from childhood, that's put it into a frozen overwhelm state, which which means it hasn't matured because we've frozen it off.
00:20:42
Speaker
So I sit in the overwhelm and what that does is that tells the inner part of me that I want you. I want you even though you're overwhelmed. And so, yes, it can be uncomfortable sometimes for moments, sometimes for days. It it depends on how deep the wound is.
00:21:01
Speaker
But always, essentially, I guess that like the the the best way to think of it is our bodies are so intelligent. They're so incredible. And they don't tell us things they don't need to.
00:21:15
Speaker
the the and And so if the body says, i feel i need you to feel overwhelmed right now, then we must say, okay, my body's telling me to feel overwhelmed. But what we do is we say, i don't want to feel overwhelmed. We run, we take the drugs, we watch the TV show, we have whatever.
00:21:35
Speaker
So, but trying to figure it out. <unk>re whichly we're when We're trying to figure out how to get rid of it. But essentially what we're trying to get rid of is a, is a, is a, is a damaged part of us, a traumatized part that we've rejected at some point. So figuring out how to get rid of a part is a terrible idea. For example,
00:21:54
Speaker
if If I don't like being in overwhelming sadness because I've split off sadness and I and i and i lose a you know a loved one, my you know my dad dies, or you know which you know happened to me a few years ago, then what happens if I don't have that part?
00:22:10
Speaker
am i Am I happy that he died? I mean, what' it what what have I got left if sadness isn't there? I'm meant to be sad. I'm meant to mourn. It's completely appropriate. You know, so we have this idea that we can pick and choose the parts of us, but then what we forget is those parts are important. You know, if I, if i after this conversation, if I walk and go to cross the road, I need fear to help me cross the road. It's very important because otherwise I won't look left and right.
00:22:38
Speaker
I won't hear a car coming and stop. I will just get run over like because fear is is my friend in that moment. And so we we need these parts of us.
00:22:51
Speaker
But what happens is when we've rejected them in childhood or or later, often in childhood, We reject them because we were in an overwhelmed state at that time. And then what happens is the emotion gets frozen in time at that heightened state. So, you know, you're a four-year-old child, your parent has left you in a room crying because they used to do that to us in the 80s and earlier.
00:23:16
Speaker
and or you were hit, you know, um and so you're in this incredibly high um emotional state and that and you reject that emotion because it's too much. And that's why when they come back and they keep coming back, they're coming back at the level that you rejected them at.
00:23:34
Speaker
And so that is an overwhelming amount of emotions, very heightened. And so what we want to do is recognize that anything I feel internally is me. anything so if you say something to me that offends me the offense the offended feeling is me not you you said something yes but now i feel me i feel an aspect of my personality that's designed to respond to someone being rude to me or if again if i'm crossing a road and i see a car and i feel fear i'm not the car is not fear the road is not fear
00:24:09
Speaker
My internal response being an aspect of my personality is me. So these are essentially, we've got all these incredible tools to navigate the world. So like that's what the ego is. So like the ego or little parts of the ego are actually, we could not literally function in this world without it, wed be way be we'd be in trouble because, you know, like I've got a one and a half year old son, you know, I need fear and caution to help him navigate the world right now. If I didn't have it, he'd be drowned in the pool, you know, because I wouldn't know to stop him from being too close to the edge.
00:24:48
Speaker
You know, so we we have this incredible range in our personality of, you know, little aspects of the ego of that we call ego, um And those parts are are um navigation tools.
00:25:02
Speaker
Don't go too close to that edge. You know, laugh now. You know, there's like love now. There's all these different things and they're all super important. and if if we reject any part of them, it means that we are not fully able to function within this world. So, for example, i reject love and therefore I can't function with inside a relationship properly because it's overwhelming.
00:25:24
Speaker
You know, so the we we need all these parts and to recognize that they are me. They're all me. Everything I feel on the inside is me. It's no one else. You might have said something that pissed me off, but me, it pissed me off. It's my internal feeling. might not pissed my friend off. I might not have pissed the neighbor off. Sure, but like it's my but it's in me. It's in my internal experience. And our entire experience of everything is in here.
00:25:54
Speaker
so and And it's all me. But we have these different aspects. like The angry Charlie is very different a very different personality to the loving Charlie, right? So they're they're just two parts of me. They're they're both...
00:26:09
Speaker
tools I have appropriate to the moment. So I am the presence that is aware of these parts or identifies with them. ah But they are my tools for the moment to be like, it's no good if I'm sitting with my partner angry.
00:26:28
Speaker
That's not the tool for the moment. Anger is is for protection, you know, so that's a different time. And So I have all these tools like lenses that come when I need them, the negotiator, the lover, the the health conscious, the sad, that you know they're they're just lenses that come from time you know when appropriate, but they're all me.
00:26:52
Speaker
And no part is is is wrong, but what happens is we, in the rejected parts, and you can tell they're rejected because if you ask anyone that has an overwhelming emotion, they would say, I don't want this. so That's rejection.
00:27:07
Speaker
What's wrong? I get a lot of anxiety. Do you want it? No. Rejection. That's like very clear. you know you have Okay. So you reject so a feeling within you.
00:27:19
Speaker
but it's But it's part of your tool belt. it's it's it's It's who you are. But in rejection, that's where the overwhelm is.
Energy Healing and Personal Growth
00:27:27
Speaker
It's not broken. It's just rejected.
00:27:30
Speaker
So I'm kind of holding to two understandings or two aspects of my understanding of you so far. One is the Charlie that had an awakening to spontaneous gifts to be able to work with people's energy.
00:27:45
Speaker
Another is this the you know very kind of leading edge or somewhat leading edge understanding in the book of parts work, shadow work, integration, fragmentation, split ego states, all that sort of stuff.
00:27:58
Speaker
My guess is that that understanding, that context came on over time. But the first thing was like, oh, i can I can touch this place in the field with my finger and that energy moved and that person's pain went away.
00:28:14
Speaker
I'm interested in the intersection here between somebody who's got these capacities. And I just want to frame this a little bit further. ah My core Tantra teacher who trains me as a teacher said to me years ago,
00:28:30
Speaker
If you give initiations, energetic transmissions or advice, but particularly initiations, you will take on karma. Like that this energy that started in motion has to complete its motion somewhere, somehow.
00:28:47
Speaker
So if I've got a rejected part, i I come to Charlie or Charlie comes to my hospital bed, the pain is gone. Have I participated in the in the bringing these parts back home and integrating them?
00:29:03
Speaker
Yes. Yeah, because the so unconditional acceptance of a part, which, you know, the term you would use is unconditional love. So unconditional love is different. So love is like, I love you. I feel so good.
00:29:19
Speaker
Unconditional love is that I'm willing. I love you as you are, whether it feels good or not. So they're not the same thing. So people think unconditional love is I need to feel the actual emotion of love.
00:29:30
Speaker
um When it's not that, it's like, especially in the parenting dynamic, you you should hopefully recognize this to any parent is that I can be mad at you right now. I still love you unconditionally. So so what the way the the the the the so the consciousness works is when we reject part of us, we split it out. When we unconditionally love part of us, in other words, I'm willing to feel fear as it is.
00:29:56
Speaker
It brings it back. And so what I believe is the way the energy healing works is that it's the same um ah frequency, i suppose, the same mechanism of when I then help someone by focusing on a part and giving it unconditional love, it brings it it brings it back.
00:30:19
Speaker
So that is not like I completely reject the idea of then I'm taking on some sort of karma of someone. The truth is that we as a whole do not understand the way the psyche works. It's a mechanical thing of I reject it leaves.
00:30:36
Speaker
I love or I accept it comes back. This is just mechanics. This is this is the way the body works. This is not mystical. or no more mystical than the human experience as a whole. It's just the way consciousness functions.
00:30:51
Speaker
And so I've had people say that when you heal someone, you're going to get karma. I think, to be honest, I think that's bullshit. And because ultimately that is... Like when when a part comes back, all you're doing is giving someone access to more of their consciousness. That is, you know, that is not a, that's never a bad thing. That's also a function that a human, one human can provide another to, even to listen. So for example, know,
00:31:21
Speaker
If you came to me and you were, I just had this happen then, just with the mother of my children, we were just talking and and she was in an overwhelmed state and we talked through it and she explained it to me and I helped her be able to unconditionally love the part of her that was feeling overwhelmed. It took a few minutes.
00:31:41
Speaker
she She integrated it. She felt better. now Now, that is no different. I'm just helping. Like, yes, I helped guide her where she she couldn't see it probably because when we're in overwhelmed state, it is sometimes we're blind we're feel a bit blind. We can't necessarily see the kind of... woods through the trees now that energy healing works in exactly the same way essentially it's like I'm gonna shine the light where uh on the and give the love to the part of you that you don't know how to and then and then give you
00:32:13
Speaker
back access to the area. So if you have a bad knee and there's a it's because of a trauma or your brain is not accessing that part of the body properly, for me to then give that area the unconditional love and attention that it needs without hating it, which is the mechanism, um and bring it back to your conscious control, or that that that's not an event that that requires punishment. That is that that is that is bringing the body ah using the tools we've been provided by God ah to to work within the body. And we we have really thousands of years of misunderstanding of how, with both medicines, to be honest, energy medicine, as well as how our own internal systems work. And you mentioned some other systems there. And, you know, my view is most of them sort of sit just off the truth because the the the it's not complicated.
00:33:13
Speaker
The way that some of these methods try and use the intellect to need to understand the part to like, the more we try and understand the further away we get from these things.
00:33:23
Speaker
And so so some of them are close, but but I think that reality is that The way our internal system works is in rejection, we split off, we suffer. So just with the most simple example is if if someone steals my phone, i've got a you know I've got a shiny new phone. If someone steals it and I then get really upset with that person, i don't even know them, but I'm upset. I'm angry. It shouldn't have happened. I just got it. you know
00:33:54
Speaker
Not only have I had my phone stolen, now I'm suffering. i'm reject I'm rejecting reality, wishing it didn't happen. Whereas my phone gets stolen and it's too late. It's done. So I accept my phone is stolen. That hurts my feelings, understandably.
00:34:11
Speaker
so I'm going to feel that. I'm not going to reject the feelings that come up. So I'm going to feel my natural reaction to a difficult event. I feel it and then I'm okay. And then I'll call the insurance company or I'll buy another phone or I'll save up or get my whatever, whatever the solution. There's got to be, there has to be a solution.
00:34:29
Speaker
I'll find the solution. so So this is the way that like essentially life works is that we're constantly getting things and and and we're constantly rejecting them based on whether we, you know, yeah yeah we mentioned growth is a a choice at the start, your the name of this.
00:34:44
Speaker
That is the choice is that my choice is to experience life as it is without a rejection based on i didn't want this to happen. I did want this to happen. I didn't want this.
00:34:57
Speaker
Whereas growth is to the choice is i accept that this happened. I accept that I'm in pain right now. I accept that my phone just got so stolen. And in that, the reality doesn't change. My experience of the reality changes and my ability to solve problems, my ability to heal is is is is greatly improved by being in a stable, accepting emotional state. So the problem doesn't change. This definitely the solution does quite dramatically.
00:35:27
Speaker
And so so the idea that, you know, to back to your question of whether when you help someone one way or another, that that takes away your karma, that's not true. You're teaching based on your ability to do that, someone to integrate to not suffer. And and that that is never going to be bad.
00:35:47
Speaker
What would be bad is if you had a tool to help someone and you didn't use it.
00:35:55
Speaker
Cause then you have to live with yourself. Right. So like, not that you should, obviously we can only help as many people as we help. And that's true too. And we can't force help on people. That's definitely true. But to think that nature says, Oh, I've given you a tool to help people.
00:36:14
Speaker
That works incredibly well, but if you use it, that's going to cause you harm. so It's a very big misunderstanding of the reason it helps people is because it's using a natural mechanism of the body.
00:36:29
Speaker
that is the oldest medicine possible. yeah So so i don't I don't see how, you know, when you understand the reason it, broadly the reason it works, which is I feel like I have some understanding, is that that there there there isn't going to be some sort of karmic response. If anything, actually generosity um will create um you know more generosity towards you.
00:36:58
Speaker
you know It's not so disempowering. think we forget, Charlie. I think we forget, or or some of us in this life maybe haven't just recognized that thought is creative
00:37:14
Speaker
always, and worlds can get created instantly. even if they're in direct misalignment or argument with what we understand about science works or whatever, like if I really beat the drum internally of something's wrong, something's missing, something's wrong, I will have the fruit of that.
00:37:37
Speaker
Well, well you you do immediately because you are suffering now. so like Yeah, that too. So the thing is that it doesn't matter what's happening externally anyway. So yes, you might actually get create an external replica of that feeling, but you don't even need to do that because you're already suffering.
00:37:55
Speaker
ah Right. So like the minute. So when you say, you know, if you think negatively, you're going to create that. Well, no, youre it's it's already there internally. So the place you live is inside. So if I'm thinking negatively, I don't even need a negative event. I'm already having one.
00:38:11
Speaker
It's immediate. It's a that is straight away. Like, so if I'm stressed and you say you're going to create that outcome, It's already happened. I'm stressed already. So um and yeah and then what that does is diminish.
00:38:27
Speaker
It may well attract it. I don't disagree with that. But but regardless, I'm already suffering. My decision making is impaired because I'm in a stressed, overwhelmed state. So probably I'll make mistakes.
00:38:37
Speaker
I will overreact to things. I will repel people. I'll do lots of things that do create a reality because I'm in an overwhelmed state that is not conducive to positive outcomes anyway. So ultimately, you know all the work I believe needs to be done internally ah and with acceptance of all of our unconditional acceptance of all of our parts without needing to understand them.
00:39:04
Speaker
you know we need if we If we think we need to understand something to accept it, then we're basically saying, well, I'll only accept you on condition.
00:39:12
Speaker
Yeah. Well, it's harboring fear that may not be recognized. You know, this I'm not willing to accept you till I understand you kind of harbors a fear. Why wouldn't I? If I thought it was totally going to go well to accept this part, then why wouldn't I? But what it suggests is that i so once I understand, I may not accept it. so then So it is conditional. So as soon as you say I need, and this is where some of these parts theories fall short, is that in the intellect trying to understand the part, we are suggesting a conditional moment in time where I may or may not accept this.
00:39:47
Speaker
but So you can just skip all that and know that you have to accept it unconditionally without needing to understand it. The the emotion doesn't require your understanding. It requires your feeling.
00:39:59
Speaker
If it needed you to understand, it would tell you, but it doesn't. It makes you feel a feeling. And so it's not needing you to intellectually understand. It's saying, hey, you have this overwhelm inside you of fear or of anger or of sadness.
00:40:12
Speaker
Please feel it. unconditionally because it's frozen in time from whenever you rejected it earlier in life and uh and and that is the job so wherever we look to try and intellectually understand emotion we we're we're already off course and we're being conditional immediately oh And that is not what is required. What is required is is is being unconditional with our bodies. And our bodies are also very unconditional with us in fairness. They they let us you know really punish our own bodies, dietary wise, emotionally, you know all these ways. And the body just keeps being there for us.
00:40:59
Speaker
But then it asks us for some things in return, which is to is to hear it, you know nourish it, um feel the things it's asking of us.
00:41:10
Speaker
um But what we say is, oh, you feel we need food. Well, I'm going to eat that food even though it's not good for you. Oh, you want me to feel that emotion? Well, it's not a happy emotion. So no, I'm going to take a Valium. So we we really we really are very conditional with the body's requests.
00:41:29
Speaker
You know, we we we we say no to the body a lot, actually. If you think about it, we say no to the body all the time. The body needs exercise. ah can't be bothered. The body needs a salad, but I really feel like a burger. The body needs, you know, like so so like I would say if most people are honest with themselves, they they they actually argue with the body's needs.
00:41:54
Speaker
um more often than not, especially when it comes to emotion that feels difficult. I don't want to feel this. And it's like, well, no, but the body's, your consciousness in this case is asking that of you.
00:42:09
Speaker
okay. Well, the I that doesn't want to feel it is a fragmented part. Like, I think that's part of the thing here is the recognition of have I let a part take over the whole or am I as the unconditional loving presence viewing this situation?
00:42:24
Speaker
Well, that's 100% true. So the way to know if you are in a, ah you know, if you're conscious in a situation or you're in an overwhelmed part that's sort of unconscious behavior is one of the ways ah is, do I feel overwhelmed right now?
00:42:46
Speaker
is this overwhelm being a dominant emotion that is very high, you know? and And if I feel that, then very likely that we're in a split part, experiencing the world through the lens of a split part without the access to the rest of our personality to balance it out. So I'm super angry, but I forget that I love this person too.
00:43:07
Speaker
you know And so um and and so if we're in that part, then what we typically try and do is we try and control the outer world to pacify the part. You need to behave a certain way so I don't feel like this.
00:43:21
Speaker
What we're meant to do is be like, oh, I've got a big emotion here. I need to sit and feel this for a moment. because my body's asking it of me and then it integrates and then we have access to all the parts of our personality to evaluate the situation, which is a much better, um you know, is a much better place to navigate from, from between fear and love and, you know, i um you know, anger and sadness and all these different parts that will say, know, you know, I am angry at you, but I love you. And so I'm not going to yell at you, but I do need to tell you that that hurt me, you know? So it's like, so you're, you so that, so anger is still like, I'm angry, but I love you.
00:44:08
Speaker
So I don't want this anger to end us. I want it to help us grow. So, whereas if I'm only in an anger overwhelm, I'm just going to scream at you without the other parts being like, just say it softly. you know So that's why it's very important when we're in an overwhelmed state to recognize it. It's not easy to do. it takes a lot of practice, but it gets easier as you do it more.
00:44:35
Speaker
and But if we've spent, how you know, I'm 45, so if I've spent 45 years not doing it well, then there will be a bit of a learning process.
00:44:46
Speaker
What have been some of the the major intense inflection points in your life? where maybe you reached a place where you're like, oh, this, wow, this is not moving. i feel like I'm using my tools.
00:45:00
Speaker
And then it did, and it opened up a whole new threshold of being or something like this. one One really important one, you know, my career is a bit unusual. And, um you know, I didn't mean to, I didn't ask to to do healing work. It happened to me.
00:45:18
Speaker
um You know, it came on one day and and it was sort of too um strong to ignore, you know, And so early on, I had a fair bit of trauma around it. I would say it wasn't an easy experience to go from, you know, a world that that didn't exist to it did. And then people would have their judgments and understandable judgments and, and you know, criticisms or um negative views that would certainly get projected onto me ah because that's the history of this sort of work. And,
00:45:55
Speaker
So I decided early on I wanted to fix this problem I saw, which is people don't understand how good this medicine is. It's like incredible, but people don't know. And so, and I understood why they didn't know. I wasn't mad at people for not knowing because I didn't know. So how could I be, but I wanted to fix it. And so I, you know, I set about to try and get studied. That took me a long time, but I did get there and I'm being studied regularly. currently as well here in America. And, um you know, I set some really big goals as an 18 year old. I was, I'm a naturally ambitious person. So, so my ambition, i set goals that you would argue were probably impossible.
00:46:35
Speaker
um I didn't think they were, but probably everyone else did. And those goals were essentially, I wanted to change the world. Like I want people to see this medicine, particularly um when it comes to chronic pain, but other things too, is really, you know, stands above most things, if not kind of all things, you know, it's very strong medicine.
00:46:57
Speaker
And so I had this desire, this drive to be like, i'm going to fix this. And first I wanted to do science and then I and wanted to do demonstrations, which I've done many of, as you mentioned earlier, TV shows and news and universities, universities hospitals. like I've done a fair bit and continue to and i then wanted to give away my teaching and and create a a way for others to to have to discover these talents should they have them and then be able to find meaningful employment and and and credibility so that's what i'm working on at the moment i'm i'm actually in the middle of that i'm at i'm at that point so
00:47:42
Speaker
But I would say that with all those things for 27 years, they were like front of mind, like I have to do this, I'm going to do it, I'm going to it. And so I had a lot of fight in me. You have to to do something for 27 years and be rejected most of the time.
00:47:57
Speaker
So But what happened was I found that I did achieve some good things. you know I did get studied. i i There was a TV show that documented my work. um So I made some good steps, you know probably more than most people in my field. I have done some, there's only a few people who have probably done some of these bigger things. So i you would say from the outside, yeah, you've you've done some pretty big things. But in my experience,
00:48:28
Speaker
I'd only done a fraction of my capability and I had touched more things that escaped my grasp than not. So I had a lot of things that like were so close to
Manifestation Through Peace and Presence
00:48:40
Speaker
happening. And then at the last minute, something would go wrong. Some, you know, would just not work out. And so 27 years is a long time, you know, so it's it's not a short career I'm in. It's a very long one. So,
00:48:55
Speaker
There was a point about three years ago where I went one day I said to myself, and I remember it very clearly, I said to myself, if this is as far as I make it, that's okay.
00:49:08
Speaker
It was the first time I'd done this in, in in at that point, 24 years, where I went, I don't have to make it all the way. And my and i've done and i've I think I've done some good things for my field.
00:49:23
Speaker
I haven't done yet all the things I want to, but I've done some good things. I've certainly put the word out a lot. And so i i i went from a intense wanting
00:49:38
Speaker
to in terms of of a future projection that was basically permanent of where I wanted to be. And I went, you know what? This is okay where I am now.
00:49:53
Speaker
And if it's as far as I make it, I'm at peace with that. And it was it was really interesting. I meant it, you know, and I didn't mean I wasn't going to keep trying, but it meant that I wasn't going to need to be somewhere further in order to be happy with my achievements.
00:50:13
Speaker
And from that moment, everything I ever wanted to do arrived. Everything. It's been extraordinary. is It's like, it was one of, it's part, I wrote about it. i didn't, I don't think I said that in the books. I tried to make the book not about me, to be honest with you. And I think you noticed that, but.
00:50:30
Speaker
But actually, that's why I wrote, I don't remember which chapter it is, but there's a chapter on on manifesting. And that that was a really big moment for me where I fully understood it finally. i was like, oh, okay. so So I have to stay in the present moment, grateful for everything as it is, whether it be good or bad. It's just, I have to just be grateful.
00:50:51
Speaker
And in that is where all my hopes and dreams came. So, you know, it's, you know, three years later, i the the final things I've wanted to achieve, i am I am doing now. And so, but they never seem to be, they seem to be impossible at only three years ago. And so it was incredible how quickly things changed.
00:51:14
Speaker
And you know that was part of why I wrote the book, because I realized that people don't understand, most people do not understand manifesting properly, what it really means to do that.
00:51:25
Speaker
um And I think in that moment, especially what what happened post that moment made me realize that ah ultimately, we need to be in the present moment, grateful for as it is, in order to really just enjoy our lives. because it's how we feel on the inside that makes all the difference. And when we feel good on the inside, it seems that we make better decisions. We do seem to get more opportunities.
00:51:54
Speaker
ah And, and that ultimately takes us to where we want to go. And so the reason I wrote the book is between understanding that when you say to people, you need to be in the present moment, most people are like, I don't know what you mean. What do you mean? You know, it's like, yeah,
00:52:10
Speaker
It's hard to understand that. And then, and the and the present moment is uncomfortable for most people. So like, because they'd say you, well, no no, no, this is not where I want to be. I'm not in the house I want to be in. I don't have the car I want. I don't have the money I want. I don't have the health I want. So they're, you're basically attacking them in a way because that they're like, well, but I'm not happy here. So I need the vision board with all the things on it. I need to be imagining a better future. I need to be, you know, hustling in a way that,
00:52:39
Speaker
that gives me the fragmentation is what's hearing the instruction, not the, not the part that's not the whole self. That's right. And so then the, so that's why, even though I didn't call the book a manifesting book, it actually is. Oh yeah, it is. It's clear. If you can see it, you can see it. You can see it. Right. Because what I've done is I've said, not that you just need to be in the present moment and this is why, but this is how to be in the present moment. And this is because if we If the present moment feels overwhelming, which is why people want to leave the present moment, right? So it's ah overwhelming feelings of I don't want to be here. I don't have enough. I am not enough. i am It's all these these parts of us that make us want to future project. Yeah.
00:53:24
Speaker
Once you know how, not that you just need to be there, but this is how to be there. That was the whole point of the book. I could have called it a manifesting book. I just didn't. I probably, it'd probably sell more copies to be honest with you. Truly. Yeah, I know. But I didn't want to do that. I actually like that. Thank you. I like that it surprises you towards the end where you go, oh yeah, right. That's how it works. You know, because the the way that most the manifesting books, right. That it's actually not, it's incorrect. Yeah. Because ultimately, you you can't... If you keep imagining... If you're suffering internally... So let's say I'm financially struggling.
00:54:02
Speaker
And I've been there for sure. you know i've Many times in my life where if things have been difficult. um The natural inclination is I want to have money. And therefore, that will make me feel better.
00:54:13
Speaker
But the problem is you have a part of you that's feeling lack that needs to be integrated. And until you integrate that by being... accepting where I am today, you will never manifest the thing you want because you'll have this incessant voice that's going to be attracting, you know, making poor decisions, making desperate decisions, which is not conducive to, you know, to success for sure.
00:54:38
Speaker
um And be pushing away that potential. So like where they miss the mark is that ultimately if we can come to inner peace, which there is a pathway to do that, it's not even that complicated.
00:54:51
Speaker
And in that inner peace, we will ultimately enjoy life no matter what's going on in the outer world anyway. So that's wonderful. Because if I die tomorrow, it'd be wonderful if i was at peace today, regardless of what my bank balance says, you know? Sure. So regardless of whether I've achieved my hopes and dreams. So like I'm really grateful that in that moment three years ago that I became at peace with where I was at.
00:55:17
Speaker
I had the talent to achieve my goals, but I but i wasn't getting the opportunity. you know So i so's like regardless of my ability to do it, I'm so glad I found peace. And what's interesting is now that I'm doing the things I wanted to do,
00:55:33
Speaker
I also am at peace with it. So I'm not like, I don't even think about it. Like I'm being studied by university here and, and, and, and very soon by a government institution. And I've got a few things going on, but it's really cool because now that I don't need to achieve those things,
00:55:52
Speaker
I don't even think about them. I just turn up on the days I meant to turn up. I'm not like obsessively imagining it has to go a certain way for me to be happy. I'm just like at peace and it's really And also more present, you have more bandwidth online so that if there's something you need to attend to- Totally. There's no grasping, clinging or chasing, obscuring that clarity and the ability to have healthy boundaries. Exactly. so i So in every way, it's better. And, you know, because my experience was as I made peace with the present moment without needing it to be any different to what it is.
00:56:28
Speaker
All my hopes and dreams came, have arrived, but I'm doing them better than I would have before because I still would have been doing them obsessively thinking about how they had to go in order to be happy with it.
00:56:42
Speaker
And I'm not doing that. And it's amazing. It's so very peaceful. I get to sleep. I get to sleep better. You know, I get to enjoy everything. life much more because I'm not asking for it to be different to what it is. It doesn't mean it's not like things are always improving. It's, you know, for me, they have. Yeah. but not everything. And I'm imagining if I was to make walking around.
00:57:06
Speaker
Sorry. No, on. I'm listening. I was saying, i imagine if I was going to make up a walking around practice for people based on my my sense of your work, it would be don't wait for pain, don't wait for some big experience to pull out the book or pull out the understanding and work with these understandings, but like pay attention to, okay, what's that feeling of grab, pushing away or grabbing at and immediately without needing a story, just meet those sensations and hold them. what What you've said is is very close to how I say it. So this is how I think of it. How do I feel right now?
00:57:43
Speaker
Oh, I feel a bit anxious. Okay. I'm willing to feel anxious right now. That's it. That's all you have to do. what How do I feel right now? Oh, I'm willing to feel that. So that is, I'm in the present moment. I'm feeling how I feel.
00:57:56
Speaker
I'm not needing it to be any different to what it is. So I'm telling that part of me, you belong. I'm willing to feel you. I'm in the present moment, which is where all the good things happen anyway. um I'm integrating permanently. So it's this constant coming back to how do I feel right now? It's very simple.
00:58:13
Speaker
How do I feel right now? Be surprised at how often you feel a little anxiety and you haven't noticed because you're busy thinking. But you you go in, you feel I'm like, like right now, how do I feel? I feel quite good, to be honest. So I go in, I feel, so i feel quite good. I'm going to sit and feel good.
00:58:28
Speaker
That's great. I don't need, I don't want my mind to be off somewhere else. I feel good or I feel anxious or I actually feel a bit sad. I went through a breakup recently or whatever else. And I feel, I feel a bit of sadness. Oh, hold on.
00:58:40
Speaker
I'm going to sit in this sadness. And this is at low levels. And then so obviously if it's at a more heightened level when i where I'm not having to check in, I'm like, I know I feel sad or I know I feel stressed. Then I'm just like, oh, I feel stressed right now. That's okay. I'm willing to feel this because there is an aspect of me that is stressed. Yeah.
00:59:00
Speaker
And the mistake people make is they say, but nothing is wrong right now. Why should I feel stressed? I must be broken. But you've got to think of it like this. There's the outer reality and that's one place. So my my my ah my body lives in the this reality. I live in my body.
00:59:21
Speaker
there's two worlds happening at once. So I don't need my inner reality to match the outer reality to accept it. So if I feel anxious right now, even though everything is good, that's okay. I'm not going to attack my inner experience based on it not matching the outer.
00:59:39
Speaker
it's This is how I feel on the inside right now. And and that's okay. I'm willing to feel it. The reason that happens is because we get all this historical stuff coming up So often it happens, like you you notice if you ever go on a holiday, sometimes you feel terrible for the first few days because it's all the old pain coming up because it has time.
00:59:57
Speaker
But it's not wrong. It's just that it's got time now. So your consciousness is like, okay, cool. Let's feel that stress we didn't feel a few weeks ago. But we say, I'm on a holiday. Why should I feel like this? This is wrong. I'm broken. Let's have a drink.
01:00:10
Speaker
But it's like, no no, this is your inner reality needing to do this. And so it doesn't need to match the outer reality. So we gaslight ourselves a lot saying, I should not feel this way It's like, but you do because your body is telling you.
01:00:26
Speaker
And so you must. Well, and then we're also creating so much more disturbance in our relationships. If I don't, if I can, whatever I can't be with here, especially if I don't have you know a story around why I feel the way that I feel and i'm and you know I'm close friends with you and you start to have a feeling, I'm going to start trying to manage your feeling as opposed to just be that unconditional loving presence and let it sort itself out.
01:00:51
Speaker
Totally. Yeah, correct. Oh, yeah. that's So that's what we do. ah You get a call, you know, so some girl goes through a breakup, calls her best friend. I just got broken up with. I'm hurting. OK, I'm coming around. we're bringing ice cream. We'll have I've got a bottle of wine. It's like the worst thing you can do. What you should say, wow, that must hurt.
01:01:12
Speaker
Would you like me to come and sit with you? and and and And I'm happy to sit with you while you're suffering. Otherwise, what we're saying is I'm happy to sit with you as long as we reject that part of you and we laugh and we eat ice cream. But that's the worst thing you can do. The best thing you can do is that feeling is totally appropriate.
01:01:32
Speaker
I'm happy to sit with you while you're sad. You know? Takes the stinger right out of it. Well, just it's the appropriate emotion. Yeah. Charlie, I'm wondering if you were to tap in right now, if you'd feel inclined to to to lead us in an experience.
01:01:52
Speaker
And I don't want to say too much like what it should or shouldn't be, but to have an actual direct taste. you know We've been talking about the work. People who are sensitive are tuning into the energy behind the words and are having an experience. But there's other folks that are like, okay, I want to experience this. That's a good question. I've never done this before in this context, but I'm happy to do one that's relative to ah to the discussion we've just had for sure. So, and you can you can shut your eyes then.
01:02:21
Speaker
But so this is what, this is something I would advise people to do now, but also regularly, which is close your eyes and I want you to just feel into your body. So be aware of your body and how it feels right now.
01:02:39
Speaker
So in this very moment from head to toe, how do you feel? Do you feel relaxed? Do you feel tension? Are you stressed? Are you feeling love? Are you feeling excitement? Whatever it is, i don't want you to want it to be any different to what it is. i want you to sink into the feeling that you have right now.
01:03:01
Speaker
so in this present moment, I want you to be completely unconditional with it. So as you just breathe and feel. So if you feel anxious, I want you to be willing to feel that anxiety without needing it to be any different to what it is. So your body is asking something of you or your consciousness is asking something of you.
01:03:25
Speaker
It is saying, feel me.
01:03:31
Speaker
And you are going to feel it and you're not going to judge it. You're not going to hate it. You're just going to feel it as it is. No dialogue. It's just simply meeting that feeling
01:03:47
Speaker
unconditionally.
01:03:52
Speaker
As you breathe, you can sink further and further into the feeling.
01:04:01
Speaker
The idea is that we are doing what our body is asking of us. The emotion is trying to come home. It is separate.
01:04:12
Speaker
It is in an overwhelmed state if it's an overwhelming emotion. And it is asking to come home. And to come home, the door is your acceptance.
01:04:27
Speaker
The door is your willingness to feel without needing the emotion to be any different to what it is. There needs to be an acknowledgement that all emotions are important.
01:04:40
Speaker
They are tools that are designed to help us navigate the world.
01:04:47
Speaker
When we reject those tools, they can become overwhelming and heightened, but they are never wrong and they are not broken.
01:05:01
Speaker
when we reject them, we reject them at the level that they were at that moment in time. So we felt immense sadness at a 10 out of 10, and we decide we do not want to feel that sadness through avoidance one way or the other.
01:05:21
Speaker
Then when it comes home, it is still at the 10 out of 10 we rejected it at. So to feel it and bring it back, you have to accept that this emotion is higher than it should be right in this moment, but it is not higher than the moment you rejected it. And the only way for it to come back is to sink into it, to immerse yourself with it and to feel it, knowing that is it is a part of you, a younger part of you, frozen in time, innocent,
01:05:58
Speaker
just wanting to come home.
01:06:14
Speaker
So that's a very good... practice for many times a day. It can be done while you're driving, whilst you're in the middle of a conversation. is it is if That's all you ever understood.
01:06:30
Speaker
We know how to breathe when we need to. We know to go to the bathroom when the the signals are there. This is the signal for sitting and feeling or just consciously feeling it. You don't have to sit and feel you can be in the middle of something to be honest, but, but that's the signal.
01:06:48
Speaker
You know, we when we need to vomit, we go to the bathroom and vomit. We don't want to shut the poison inside us. You know, this is the signal for feeling emotion. It's that, how do you know? oh because I can feel it. Therefore, the signal is quite obvious.
01:07:07
Speaker
But it's when we say to ourselves, I don't want to feel this. I hate this feeling. We're rejecting ourselves, critical parts of us to navigate the world with. And the world is so dynamic, it's not surprising that there are so many different emotions to navigate it with.
01:07:29
Speaker
And if you think about it, what's really interesting about emotion is like we have ah one body and we think of ourselves as one person, right? But think about the way that If I'm angry, I walk differently, I talk differently, I think differently.
01:07:47
Speaker
Everything is different. So it's like, if you think about it, one aspect of my personality uses my body in completely different ways. It's the same body, but the voice is different. The look in my eye is different. It could almost be another person.
01:08:01
Speaker
All these aspects use the personality, so use the body so differently. Sad walks differently to happy, right? It's so different. So interestingly, they are not who we are. They're completely different. Who we are is the presence, the soul within the body.
01:08:20
Speaker
They are all tools to navigate this physical world with. They are actually individually not who we are. They are tools we have access to little little entities or little egos that come in, you need to be angry right now, you know, and because it's appropriate. And so in your own defense or to protect someone or whatever it's for. so So recognizing that, that none of these parts are actually who we are, but they are tools we have,
Generational Influence on Emotional Health
01:08:52
Speaker
you know. And so... to recognize that, that they are, and they're so important. We can't, we, we really do not function that well when we're missing any of these parts, you know, that because there'll be a moment in time where you need a certain part and it's either not available to you because you split it off or, it or it's,
01:09:10
Speaker
or it arrives overwhelmed and so it comes but it fucks everything up because you're too angry you know or you're or you're too sad or you're loving way too much for a new relationship you know so it's like it's we need these we need to recognize that all these aspects they're not who we are but they are ours you know and and they're critical What's your sense of, um yeah maybe you've come across it, Thomas Hubel and Dick Schwartz just launched a new book a month or so ago.
01:09:45
Speaker
and their mashup between internal family systems, parts work and Thomas's work with healing trauma. There's this discussion that's growing about, it's not just our fragmented parts that we're meeting and and metabolizing, but it's also our are historical, like this the the family line of this body, things that maybe four or five, six generations back, the feeling started there being rejected or in the collective as well. Well, yeah, I mean, look, you you don't, I don't even, i don't know the material, but I would say that definitely generationally we curate
01:10:26
Speaker
personalities of our family members. So if someone, you know, parents who are not good with feeling pain will see their child in pain and pacify them so they don't have to feel pain anymore. You know, so so so so in that sense, we are passing down the parts of us that feel overwhelmed um by by saying to our child, do not behave that way.
01:10:49
Speaker
because I can't handle the emotion that comes up when you do. And so we're we're sort of curating generationally. um So that that's at the very least is behaviorally.
01:11:01
Speaker
That's what's happening. Like children, you know like I said, I have a one and a half year old and we are teaching him what's the parts of him that he's allowed to have and what he is. And now we we're pretty careful, but parents are often, oh, it's crying, quick, pacify that baby. you know, oh, that hurt, have a lollipop, you know. So what we're saying is I can't handle when you're in understandable pain and therefore I need you to not, we're going to reject that part of you. So, and this definitely gets passed down generationally, you know, because people don't understand that, that,
01:11:34
Speaker
We need to accept all of our parts and particularly the parent to child, because we're teaching the child the parts that are
The Nature of Money: A Tool for Exchange
01:11:42
Speaker
acceptable and that aren't. What we want to do is teach them that all their parts are acceptable. and And what we don't want them to be is split off and in an overwhelmed state. So there's no question that this is a generational problem because we haven't been taught how to do this properly. And therefore, we're constantly curating people to avoid our own overwhelm.
01:12:03
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. or overly controlling circumstances. You know, I really heard myself in a number of places in our dialogue today. um And in this particular place, like I come from a long lineage from what I've when I've looked and felt into it or even asked family stories on both sides where there was this kind of fragmentation split off about like money is over there and you can have crumbs of it, but you're going to have to really effort really, really hard. Mm hmm.
01:12:34
Speaker
you know And in my work, i've had I've had some of it go around the world and then come back to a familiar place of like feeling like, wait, there's that feeling again. you know There's that bag of coupons that mom had and we're in the grocery store. And mom, can we do we have a coupon for it? Is on sale? No? Okay. No, not today.
01:12:53
Speaker
We can't afford that. Right? Like bumping back into this thing, this is in all honesty and vulnerability, one of the main core things that I've been working with picking up and metabolizing.
01:13:06
Speaker
It's a bit huge money. Look, money's a big one for people. And it's so funny because it's sort of almost like taboo in a way, but um I'll ask you your a question. What, tell me what you, what, what do you, what is money to you to describe like, and be totally honest, like,
01:13:23
Speaker
is it good? Is it bad? Like, do you wish it existed? Like, or not? Like, what is seems like it's just a mechanism for, for, for exchange. It's, that's what it just, it's just like a mechanism. It's just like this made up thing that people agree to,
01:13:37
Speaker
um ah'll here co to an op form he it then Here comes the thought form you're looking for. And then like there's a lot of people out there. This is what one of parts is saying. There's a lot of people out there who have really contracted understanding, who seem to control the flow of this made-up thing. And I've got to pretzel myself into what they need he to have any more of it.
01:14:02
Speaker
Okay. And so would you, conceptually, is it good? Is it bad? Is it? It seems neutral. There may be some hidden parts, like it's like that gets bad, like it corrupts or something, like but i don't so I don't have that feeling in the foreground. Yeah. And people do, don't they? They either see it as bad or good or in the middle, like people, a lot of people have their view. And I tell you, and I think this will be, i think i think you might like this, but so money,
01:14:29
Speaker
Money is the is the only thing the only thing in this world that we live in that can be equal to all things.
01:14:41
Speaker
It's the only thing. there's no other thing that can be equal to everything. So the computer I'm sitting on, Money equaled it. That's how I got it.
01:14:52
Speaker
the ah The internet connection, the food I'm going to eat at lunchtime. So the avocado I'm going to eat, money can equal the avocado, money can equal the computer, money equals whatever. so So that's actually amazing that there's one thing in the world that we all agree that can be equal to all things, what that allows us to do is exchange and function because if we didn't have that one thing that equals all things, if I have a chicken and you have a goat and you want a chicken but I don't want your goat's milk, we have no deal.
01:15:25
Speaker
That's a problem. But because if i I have a chicken and you have a goat and you can sell your goat's milk to someone else to then buy my eggs, we can do a deal. So money is amazing.
01:15:36
Speaker
It's not just neutral. It is fucking amazing. It is the only thing that can equal all things. And remember that I use the word things because people say, oh, and it doesn't equal love. I said things, material things, right? Although people even love is for sale at a certain amount of money. But but I think um it's very important to to to see how special that is.
01:16:00
Speaker
It is so, it's it's magical that it can equal everything and it allows us to exchange. the If we couldn't do that, we would we would be robbing each other. We would be doing all sorts of things because you wouldn't be able to function without something that we've all agreed to that is the mirror to all things. And so,
01:16:22
Speaker
by its nature then it can also equal good things and bad things. It can pay for the bomb, it can pay for the the ah the the salad, you know.
01:16:33
Speaker
But money is not the bomb and it is not the salad. It is the equal to anything. And so anyone who projects that money is negative is misunderstanding that no it can do anything, which means that of course things can be negative and things can positive. So that money is not that. It is not the thing. It is the equal to the thing that allows us to exchange. It's amazing. It's like the most special thing that we've all agreed that I can hold a certain amount of money and that we can have an exchange that we're both happy with.
01:17:06
Speaker
That's amazing. It's like something to really kind of revere is like, wow, that's really special what it does, because it allows us to have this functional exchange.
01:17:18
Speaker
It's so cool, you know, and and so, you know, people do struggle with this. They go, you know, but the people who are closest to right are the people who love it. It's very lovable. I didn't realize until listening to you say money's amazing. And that's what shined enough of a light to see some of the split off bit.
01:17:37
Speaker
Yeah, there you go. It's like the split off bit. like, oh, money, i heard I heard a little voice say, and I'm like, wow, that's intense. Money is pain. Exactly. The voice said money is pain. Exactly. And that's what people do. And so it's like for me, I actually really, I'm really glad you brought it up because for me, it's like, what a beautiful thing to realize that I'm projecting onto money when I see it negatively because a certain person does something bad with money, but it's not the money that did that.
01:18:04
Speaker
It's that money can be equal to everything. It's like the mirror and the objects reflected in the mirror. Exactly. But money is seeing the mirror, only seeing the reflections and going, oh, that's a bad mirror. I'm not actually seeing the mirror. I'm seeing the reflection. The same dollar, I can go and buy ah a carrot at a store with a dollar. That same dollar with the store owner can go buy some of his drugs. So like the money is just doing what it does The bad and the good thing are based on the way the user wants to use it. so that some So money is never bad. It's always incredible because it can equal everything that matters to me. The holiday I just went on, money equaled it. So I got to have the holiday.
01:18:51
Speaker
You know, like that's amazing. You know, it's amazing that we can coordinate this whole complex world because of one thing, which is money. We couldn't do it without It would be impossible because when I went on the holiday, I went on ah went on a plane, I went to a place, there's people working there. everyone require to you How would you coordinate that?
01:19:13
Speaker
without an exchange that makes that possible. It would be impossible. So yes, people can do bad things, but that's because people can be bad. But, but, and that's because of their own issues, but money is amazing. And so that is the split. It's this idea that money's, you can't be unconditionally loving with money, but you can, because it's amazing. And so when you integrate that and be like, wow, money is a, like, that's so cool. i I love what money does. Like, it's so incredible. And there's literally not one other thing in this world that does that. There's nothing that comes close to being able to equal all things. Like, it's very cool. This is wild because, you know,
01:19:57
Speaker
I've seen and experienced and maybe been a part of um healing processes where it seemed like you know there was tears and laughter and heat and sweat and all sorts of big happenings. But really all that happened was you expressed while sitting in your direct experience that money is amazing.
01:20:16
Speaker
And I'm having this feeling like this core of light expanding through my central channel, through my body and going, I've read all the old transmissions about the law of attraction the hermetic principles the whatever you know who have Florence cobblestone all the things even weaved it into a course and had some degree of movement around it but I this one simple thing relating to it like it's amazing not just as a thought
01:20:51
Speaker
I can feel things happening. Well, want to add one more thing before I actually have to go soon. One more thing. I would say that if you then choose to only love money because you have it, that's been unconditional with money. and so in order to to be unconditional it's not whether i have it it's not how much someone else has it's what money is so otherwise i'm projecting onto it i'm only going to like money if i have it so that's a problem we need to go money is amazing whether i have it or not because as a device it is amazing and that's how then we can integrate it and ultimately manifest it right but we can't project on it conditionally
01:21:35
Speaker
Because it's an unconditional device, isn't it? Wow. It's so simple. And it's like it's like a ton of bricks. It's really cool. Yeah. I'm mindful of the time. And there's a question I ask every guest. And I'm going to ask it to you. And it stands on the shoulders of Suzuki Roshi, who opened the Zen Center of San Francisco in the 60s, who would say, death is certain, but time is not.
01:21:56
Speaker
What is the most important thing?
01:22:03
Speaker
I think the by far the most important thing is to have, you know, inner peace would not be the right word because ultimately then that's been conditional on the present moment, but it's to be willing to feel how I feel so I can have um all of my parts communicating and helping me navigate the world so I can experience everything without being in overwhelmed states and and therefore,
01:22:31
Speaker
um you know, have the best life possible.
Inner Peace and Life Quality
01:22:35
Speaker
And I think that ultimately, whatever we achieve externally does not determine how we experience life on the journey.
01:22:43
Speaker
And we see that we see very rich people commit suicide. It's not, it's not, you know, like, so for me, it's the understanding that this is where I live. I live in here.
01:22:55
Speaker
You can't see me. You can see my body. You can't see how I feel. i can only feel how I feel. And that is who I am having the internal experience. And so when I recognize that when i when i when I'm fully accepting of my inner world and I integrate all those parts, then I can enjoy my life however long it is. That is quality of life is on the inside.
01:23:23
Speaker
And it's the number one thing. Now, whether I achieve my hopes and dreams, I get the car I want, I get the whatever, that's secondary to how I feel on the inside because because I know this. I could get all those things and feel terrible.
01:23:37
Speaker
And so so number one is to know that by being in the present moment, by feeling my feelings, willingly and bringing all my parts together to work as a cohesive team.
01:23:52
Speaker
I'm going to have a better life regardless of what happens externally. But if I do that well, very likely my external life will be quite good too. And so I don't see that there could be anything more important than this because that's my experience. Then it helps me be better to the people. Like I said before, I sat with the mother of my children and I helped her integrate where she was feeling not good. It helps me bring up my children well. So that whole generational trauma thing, hopefully, you know, um was got going negatively above me and positively, hopefully below me. so this is this is really fundamental to how I feel as well as how I interact with people and how the world interacts with me.
01:24:37
Speaker
And and that that's my entire experience.
Closing Reflections and Meditation
01:24:42
Speaker
So I can't think of a more important thing than that. Thank you.
01:24:48
Speaker
Thank you. Thank you for this dialogue. Thank you for everything you've chosen to step into, especially when it was really hard and you did it anyway, you stepped in and accepted it and sat with it.
01:25:01
Speaker
Yeah. I think this is a really, really rich episode that I'll be like re-listening to and spending time with. And thank you so much for, for spending time with us today.
01:25:14
Speaker
pleasure scott good very nice to meet you hopefully we'll meet in the flesh given weight and we're not too far from each other it's oh yeah i'm super down for that and so everybody we're going to do what we do we're going to close this out by ending and just being together and there's no special experience to have it's just in this case with this episode just be with what's present what you're experiencing what you're what you're having and we'll notice whatever we notice together And we'll see you in the next episode. So we'll end here in stillness for a bit together.
01:25:49
Speaker
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01:26:00
Speaker
You'll find links there for going deeper with our guests, as well as how to work with me in the work of waking up, growing up, cleaning up, and showing up. Thanks for listening.
01:26:11
Speaker
Can't wait to join you in the next episode.