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Episode 125 - Jack Herer
19 Plays2 years ago
This week on the premier comedy roller coaster podcast Ben and Zach talk about the upcoming YFCS meetup at Six Flags Great America (June 16-18th 2023), DarKoaster at Busch Gardens Williamsburg, The American Dream Mall being sued for missing loan payments, Speculating on Top Thrill Dragster at Cedar Point and more!
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Transcript
Weekend Fun at the Theme Park
00:00:08
Speaker
Sun is shining up with my friends We're at the theme park It's the weekend We drove together, got high in the car Then we all took shots when we parked
00:00:25
Speaker
When we walked in, we were low key Cause I know we still smelled like tree We went straight to the burger stand And I got cheese sauce all over my hands Then it happened, the thought had gone
00:00:45
Speaker
There was one ride we hadn't been on Coaster boards with our bellies sagging We made our way to the dragon wagon There was no line we got right on
00:01:01
Speaker
The kid working, asked if something's wrong I said no, we just want the cred Then he silently shook his head We sat down and the ride took off Pushing slowly until it stopped Then we all had a rollback
00:01:25
Speaker
The train stopped and we all just sat That's when I heard the voice from before The kid working set back coaster doors Those adult guys who aren't with kids They broke my ride and now I'm pissed I guess that there's
00:01:54
Speaker
Adults are not allowed to ride I'll just try to take it in stride I'm just too fat and old to ride I guess I just can't
00:02:21
Speaker
I guess I just cannot deny That this will be my final time I'll sit down on the bench outside I'll sit down on the bench outside Cause I'm just too fat and old to ride I'm just too fat and old to ride
00:02:51
Speaker
Thank you
00:03:31
Speaker
I'm Zach and I am a big fan of tofu. I'm Ben and I'm a big tofu.
Humorous High School Memories
00:03:40
Speaker
Did you say you're a bit tofu? I'm a big tofu. You're a big tofu. Okay. I'm concerned now. I guess, um,
00:03:56
Speaker
I don't know. Tofus, I've never seen a tofu plant. Like, I don't even know what it looks like. Soybeans. Oh. That makes that's right. Yep. Tada. Want me to lift the curtain a bit for you.
00:04:20
Speaker
I thought it was like a read or something. I don't know. I don't need enough tofu. Just soybeans. I don't eat tofu because I don't want to get man boobs. OK, that's one of the most ridiculous and egregious things I hear about soy. And I'll clarify, you have to consume an insane amount of soy to start having that kind of effect.
00:04:49
Speaker
No, I know. I just don't want to risk it. Remember my, remember my high school nickname, Cones? No, I did not know that. Oh, I have a little man to PTSD trying to stay away. Well, I don't think anyone in an adult life would call you Cones.
00:05:21
Speaker
Well, Hey, check out the cones on that guy. Remember the, um, look out, you almost got hit by a truck. Like Jesus Christ. So sometimes mean things are so funny. I know. That's the thing. Like even to this day, like I still think that's like a good one.
00:05:49
Speaker
Um, what's funny is probably like a year or two ago, I was with some friends and I was telling that story. And then, um, this, one of my friends was like, what did they use your shirt for one of the flags?
00:06:07
Speaker
Oh my God. And like, I laughed so hard. I was like, that was so funny because it was so out of nowhere because it was from someone who's like, she's like kind of quiet. She doesn't really, you know what I mean? She's not like one to just like punch like that. So it was just so funny because it was out of nowhere. I was like, that was so fucking good. Fucking teenagers.
Podcast Introduction and Banter
00:06:35
Speaker
Welcome back to your favorite coaster. Sucks where you can learn all about tofu. And mammals. And the time Ben turned into a mac truck. Those are the boobs I got stretch marks from when I rode the Pinafari. That was peak boob. You think boob that much?
00:07:02
Speaker
just made me immediately mentally go to, how about these side boobs? Those trainee on, they shouldn't. Cause it's my side boobs. Well, I don't think, yeah, I don't think I had side boobs. I just had like stretch marks. I don't know, man. You were a lifeguard. If you were wearing a tank top, there could be some side boob action going on. Yeah.
00:07:31
Speaker
The most harsh insult I've ever heard from like, from a kid was, um, so these are some deep, dark stories. So I, along with this other guy that I taught swimming lessons with, we were both overweight and we both had like a lot of stretch marks. And so this girl who was like maybe like five or six, she's like, did you guys get scratched by a bear?
00:07:59
Speaker
Oh, I thought it was funny. You're like, yep. See, we were out on this picnic and then we heard a boo boo.
00:08:27
Speaker
Good Lord. I am drinking a beer tonight. It's been a while since I've done that. Schlitz. Yep. Drinking a Schlitz. Does it still like, my microphone is still on, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Schlitz is, um, can't say I've had one like probably 10 years, but that was a good one. Yeah. When in, when in Wisconsin, do his,
00:08:57
Speaker
The locals do. But they sell that. I mean, they sell it in Illinois, though, right, too. I think so, but it's hard to find. I haven't come across it any local liquor stores or any of the ones in my, you know, jaunts out to see my parents or whatever. Yeah. But thankfully, you know, in Wisconsin,
00:09:28
Speaker
you can find a lot of beer, a lot of places. That's true. Not always the best. Wisconsin would know Wisconsin, like they have the brews they have are fine, but, um, I'm still surprised there's not really a big micro brew culture there. Um, I'm like Colorado, Washington, California, considering it's drinking culture.
00:09:58
Speaker
Is there a big hipster culture in Milwaukee though? Yeah, that's pretty much its only culture. Then I guess it is really weird. Yeah. It's kind of like, you know, people, people drink lakefront and people, I don't know. I guess like every time I go back and I visit friends and like I have that,
00:10:25
Speaker
mental picture in my mind of like, okay, we're in our thirties. Like we're not going to be taking shots at dinner Monday night, but it always goes that way. Oh, really? Yeah. And I'm always surprised by how not drunk everybody is. Like, um, yeah, it's just like, Oh yeah. Just Monday, Monday, Monday shots for five rounds. It's like, all right. Well, I got it. Whoa. Really? It's like, all right. I gotta go. I gotta get up tomorrow for work.
00:10:57
Speaker
Look, far be it from me to judge anybody about their personal consumption of anything, but that's going pretty hard for your 30s on a weeknight. I don't, I can't remember the last time I did shots on a weeknight and more than like two. Yeah. It's been several years.
00:11:26
Speaker
I did, um, I don't, I don't remember the exact number. It was more than like seven might've been like seven or eight fireball shots on them. Like a Tuesday night last year. It was at that very moment. He knew we fucked up. Yeah. Like,
00:11:48
Speaker
It was, um, I like briefly, very briefly dated somebody who was a bartender. And so it was like, Oh yeah, we're going to go to, um, this other bar. Cause we all have a night off, like another gay bar. And suddenly it's like 1AM and they're closing all the doors. And then they, you know, it's like one of those things they like start pass, passing out ashtrays and everyone lights up.
00:12:15
Speaker
And, um, yeah. And then it was just like multiple fireball shots. And I'm like in the Uber home and I'm like, I can't fucking do this. Like I'm like, what the fuck? We'll see. And here's the thing. Red flag. I wouldn't trust a bartender who willingly drinks fireball. True. Just saying. Very true.
00:12:48
Speaker
But yeah, I. It's funny, my dad likes Fireball. And so, like, I was at my niece's birthday party this past weekend and he's like, you want a fireball? I'm like, no. It's I mean, it's fine, like if it's I don't know, I like I bring it camping every once in a while, but it's more of a like a joke, but it always gets drank like. I don't know.
00:13:18
Speaker
I suppose if I was going to something like that where it was more of a drinking event, I would have a little bit.
00:13:30
Speaker
I'm just not sure to what end I'm supposed to be drinking fucking fireball. Right. Actually, I just don't like, I don't know. I just don't like shots. Um, I took shots in Cabo and I felt like shit.
Drinking and Hydration Tips
00:13:50
Speaker
So yeah. Shots aren't really enjoyable. Um, they only come out after you've been drinking. So you're just like,
00:14:00
Speaker
putting a layer of crap like on top of the booze you haven't even processed yet. Yeah. I'm finding for me alcohol is having like diminishing returns as a recreational substance. Yeah. Nope. Same here as I'm taking a sip of whiskey, but right as I'm drinking a beer, but
00:14:27
Speaker
It's like, I don't know. I don't, I hate, I hate feeling like shit. Yeah. I agree. And it's so easy for that to happen when you drink. Cause like dehydration is a big factor. I always get pissed whenever, cause I usually,
00:14:55
Speaker
carry a water bottle everywhere I go. And, um, I'm usually like the person that's getting like 10 glasses of water as I'm drinking and the people that give you shit like, why are you drinking water? Sure. You don't want a shot. And I was like, I'm not going to be hungover for my job tomorrow. Have fun. Yeah. Cause I don't want my liver getting pruny.
00:15:29
Speaker
as I drink a cup of water. Yeah, I've got my bottle sitting here. Keep it hydrated folks. And, um, also, as an adult, when you're getting older at theme parks, you have to drink water at the park and not just like a few sips of water at the bubbler or water fountain, whatever the fuck you call it. The, um,
00:15:55
Speaker
No, I think like a lot of times when people complain about headaches on rides because they're dehydrated. Yeah. And I'm sure that has a big part of people like graying out or blacking out on rides. And it's like, yeah, you can't, it's like your souvenir cup that you get like four or five cokes throughout the day. Doesn't count. And like, here's the thing.
00:16:26
Speaker
Even if you really don't want water, just drink one of those full of water and then get like a power raid. Fill your thing with power in once. Yeah. Because even that's better than just doing fucking Coke all day. Yeah. Like Sprite or whatever. God, I worked with, um, it's always in Ohio. I don't know what it was about Ohio people, but they really love their pop. Um,
00:16:56
Speaker
I remember it was so at ripcord, there was a video people. It was just like, like the guy who, which is funny. This is in 2010 and the camera they had was like an original VHS camera with a, with like an RCA pass through that went to the, um, like the little video stand. God. And, um, there was this guy who worked that and he,
00:17:25
Speaker
Like never, I never saw him drink water and I'm like the hottest days there. You'd have his little cooler with like six Pepsi's and like one time and one time he passed out just cause like he just doesn't drink water. Yeah. Like hydration is like super important and like
00:17:48
Speaker
Especially with the amount of like shitty foods we all tend to eat as coaster enthusiasts. Mm hmm. Because let's be honest here, even if you take away all the other unhealthy factors of park food and just looking at park food, the fucking sodium. Yeah, yeah. And it's usually hot as shit and you're walking like 10 miles a day.
00:18:17
Speaker
It's like no wonder you grayed out on a like fucking fire chaser. Yeah. And pro tip, if your pee is yellow or gold, you need to drink water. It shouldn't be that color. Yup. Like
00:18:42
Speaker
It's a little embarrassing, but I didn't even realize that until I was a full ass adult. Oh yeah. Yeah. I always do. My piss is like, I probably drink like two gallons of water a day. I try to at least get like 80 ounces. Yeah. I think that's like, yeah, that's still probably like three times. That's probably still three times more than like your average American.
00:19:14
Speaker
Yeah, I think the bottle I have is like 40 ounces. So I try to do like two of those a day. Yeah. I don't always get it, but you know, better to try. And that's the thing is like, man, hydration is so fucking important, especially out at the parks. Yeah. Like you were saying, walking around in the sun all day and like riding rides, the effect that shit has on your body. I mean,
00:19:44
Speaker
obvious stressors, you know, on the sign, heart conditions, blood pressure, all that. But, you know, I don't know. Do any of us actually know what what those stresses do? I mean, it's apparently it's healthy. I'm sure it's it's probably like, like working out, like it's doing something to your body. Yeah.
00:20:14
Speaker
where you do get a net positive from it, but it is a stressor. I mean, obviously I think at this point, if there was like some sort of chronic danger with riding roller coasters, we'd all know about it. Especially those with like thousand coaster counts. Right? Yeah. I think we would have seen that by now.
00:20:37
Speaker
So I don't think there's any kind of thing like that, but I think just all those factors together, you know what I mean? With exceptions for obviously rough rides. Yeah. Yeah. Leave your son of beasts out of that category. You know, there's like old people that ride rides in their eighties and shit. Like I wonder if, especially in Ohio, I wonder if
00:21:06
Speaker
for any of those people, son of beast was like too much. Like, Oh God, I went too far. And that was the last roller coaster I ever rode because I died. Yeah, probably. It's like I dislocated my shoulder.
00:21:35
Speaker
This ride gave me diabetes. This ride made my taint bleed. Oh God. Keep it classy, Ohio. And here's the thing. I like don't even want, I don't, I don't want to dunk on Ohio. I don't, it's passé.
00:22:01
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, especially after that train thing, they're dealing with enough. Yeah. I mean, Florida, yes, always. Ohio in small doses. Florida. I don't think I'm going to get there ever.
00:22:29
Speaker
Like I keep wanting to go, but it just feels like such a hassle to get down there. We're going to have to host a meetup there at some point. Yeah. I mean, it'll, it'll happen. I just, I don't know. It's never on my like to do list. The same with like going to like, I really want to go to like compounds, but that's like another park where it's just, I don't know.
00:23:00
Speaker
Well, I need to go there cause I gotta get on Boulder dash. Yeah. Before it. I don't know. Maybe it gets armed seat or something. Titan tracked. Yeah. Yeah. Plus I need to get to six flags. New England. Oh yeah. And Fenway. Yeah. And what else? Quasi's up there.
00:23:29
Speaker
They're still open, right? Maybe not. I don't know. I've not really been to the area, so I'm not I'm not up to date on that. I think. I don't know, though, between those two, it's hard to pick where where a meet up which which one we would host a meet up at first.
00:23:58
Speaker
Classy or Six Flags New England. No, I meant like that area or Orlando. Oh, probably Orlando. Yeah, I mean, we definitely have to.
Upcoming Theme Park Meetups
00:24:12
Speaker
You got a bunch of shit to ride there because you said like the last time you've been there was what, like 10 years or so. No, it was like 2018.
00:24:26
Speaker
Okay, so like five years. But that's still pretty much, that's like two universal coasters, fire and quasi, a bunch of Disney shit. So you see world coasters going to be three. Yeah. Yeah. There's a ton to do there. Plus fun spot. Mm hmm. Which even if you have the credits, you just, it's like, you gotta go.
00:24:54
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, I think I spent 45 minutes at each park and that was plenty. Oh yeah. I could spend a good couple hours in old town though. Not necessarily at fun spot, but there's a really good bar there. Old town. Yeah. I've never really done much in old town besides go to a fun spot.
00:25:24
Speaker
OK, well, we're already coming up with a like itinerary for a meetup. Yeah.
00:25:34
Speaker
We gotta get through our two this year, which seamless transition into this plug, June, fuck, 16th through 18th. Let me confirm that, though. Let's open up that calendar, folks. 16th through 18, June 16th through 18, at Six Flags Great America in Gurney, Illinois. We'll be there. Catch us up there.
00:26:01
Speaker
If you're planning on attending, please let us know. Use the interest form. The link is in the episode description or on our Discord, join our Discord, or on our social media. Go ahead. Or if you've got your browser open on your phone, L-I-N-K-T-R dot E-E slash Y-F-C-S will take you there.
00:26:27
Speaker
just let us know so we can get an accurate head count. Cause it helps us for planning out all of our stuff. Um, we are looking forward to it. Um, hopefully it should be a good time. It will be a good time. Yep. It's reaching that window where I have to book flight soon. Yeah. And, um,
00:26:57
Speaker
We'll figure out what we're going to do lodging wise. We are definitely open to doing some sort of group lodging. But especially if you're interested in doing that, fill out the interest form because we are going to have to book that soon. Soon, soon. We're going to do a live podcast recording.
00:27:25
Speaker
at the Belvedere Cinema. I'm super looking forward to that. Yeah, it should be interesting. It should be fun. Yeah. I mean, now that we have actually toyed around with recording live in front of an audience, that was fun. I wouldn't want to do it a lot. Right. But it's definitely fun to have
00:27:53
Speaker
you guys involved in giving live in the moment feedback to us. So we would really love it if you all could make it on out. Six Flags Great America, June 16th through the 18th. And then on the other end of summer, September 15th through the 17th,
00:28:19
Speaker
we will be up in Northern California visiting California's Great America. As well as Six Flags Discovery Kingdom and Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. Of course we're getting up to Great America, California's Great America before it closes. Now I know it's not confirmed to be closing after this season specifically,
00:28:48
Speaker
But it will be closing at some point over the next 10 years. So if you haven't been there like me, or if it's been a while and you want to pay your respects while it's still around, then come on out September 15th through the 17th. I think we'll definitely have some sort of group lodging arranged for that.
00:29:18
Speaker
I'd love if we could all stay in San Francisco, but I don't know if that would be practically applicable at all. Yeah, probably not. No, maybe we could stay in Oakland or something. I don't know. We'll have an interest form for that one. Probably as soon as our June meetup is done. Got the June one to get through first.
00:29:46
Speaker
Um, very excitingly, both of the meetups this year will be in legal States. So if that interests you at all, that's a big positive THC positive. Correct. And there, uh, so they're building a planet 13 in Waukegan.
00:30:14
Speaker
And, uh, what is that? Um, we went to the one in Vegas. It's in Vegas. It's the world's largest dispensary. Okay. But they're building one of them in Waukegan. And I'd heard about this last year, but, um, we went, we went out to Kenosha last this past weekend and there was a billboard on the highway for it.
00:30:43
Speaker
So my guess is it will be opening soon. Okay, cool. Hopefully in time for our meetup. So it'd be very nice to have a cool, big dispensary right there. Now, also interestingly, there is a casino opening in Waukegan. What's the, uh, is gambling, gambling is legal in Illinois. Like it has been, right?
00:31:13
Speaker
only for like half a decade or a little more. Okay. So it's pretty new. So that's also something we could consider checking out for our meetup. Uh, things are shaping up for the meetup though. Cause I know we were talking about perhaps we'll do the Cubs game the night before and we'll make that an add on for anyone who's interested. Cause that'd be a fun group event for anyone who comes in at night early.
00:31:45
Speaker
Yeah, I'd be down for that. Yeah, man, go out to Wrigley, catch a game, have some beers. That'd be a really fun way to start off the meet up with like a pre party type of deal. I'm really fucking excited for the meet up. I feel like ever since we had the one in November,
00:32:14
Speaker
I've really been looking forward to the next one. And if you haven't, uh, you haven't heard our episode from our meetup in November, it's just a few back. Definitely check it out. It is fun. Yeah. The, um,
00:32:40
Speaker
I'm excited to do a live recording of commentary. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the thing. Cause it's like probably, I don't know. It's like one of the most, I think it's one of the more fun things we do in recording. So it'd be cool to like, plus like just to show like a shitty video. Well, that's the thing is it's not even a shitty video.
00:33:08
Speaker
It's a weird video. Yeah. And I'm, I'm super excited cause I feel pretty confident that outside of maybe a couple of people that are going to be there, nobody will have seen it before. So that'll make it even more fun. I mean, I'm just, I'm super excited. Cause also, I mean,
00:33:36
Speaker
It's the home park classic, you know? It is. Something about having a meetup back at the park that, you know, we grew up going to and became friends at and whatnot. Yeah, for sure.
Coaster Comparisons
00:33:57
Speaker
Now, I don't know.
00:33:59
Speaker
Yeah, what the whole lodging thing is. So everybody just fill out, fill out your interest form if you're planning on coming. We just want to make sure we have plans adequately made. But we'll discuss that one off mic. I know we do have a few news items that we've seen. Fucking Busch Gardens Williamsburg opened up a Dark Coaster Preview Center.
00:34:28
Speaker
Yeah, I saw photos of the trains. Um, I'll just say it cause it's going to piss Disney people off, but it might be better than Tron. It might be. Although I think the consensus from Disney people seems to be that Tron is a quote unquote great addition to the park. Oh really? It's not getting the high praise. No, no. I mean,
00:34:58
Speaker
I heard directly from a couple of our listeners who said that it was a great addition to the park in those exact words. I mean, I think the hype of the ride probably was just due to the fact that the first one was in Shanghai and most people couldn't get there that easily. And it looks really cool in YouTube videos, but I mean,
00:35:26
Speaker
That ride, I don't know, that ride had a lot of hype. And as someone who hasn't been on it, I don't know if the hype matches the actual ride experience, but. I mean, I feel like it's it's a tall order when it takes you five years from the time you announce the ride till it actually opens. I think the most interesting part of that ride is the Schwartzkopf looking sit down car.
00:35:56
Speaker
That one probably has the most interesting ride experience, although I've heard there's been like weights of up to an additional half hour plus to ride it. Oh really? Shit. Yeah. And we're talking, it's only been like cast member previews. What are the chances that they just convert all the trains to sit down trains?
00:36:23
Speaker
Well, and that's the crazy thing, right? They only have out of, I think, five trains. I think only two or three of them have one of those cars. OK. Yeah. Which how the fuck does that happen in fucking Orlando? Are they unaware of who their guests are?
00:36:50
Speaker
Yeah, I wonder if that's going to be a shit show when it first opens. Let's. Oh, guaranteed. I mean, I'd be interested in like a little bet on how long it takes for Disney to change the trains. Like if they go to a full sit down train or they do like every other or something. I think they need my guess, they need two on every train because once you factor in, not just for like
00:37:18
Speaker
larger guests, but guests with like physical disabilities, they're going to need a lot more than two fucking cars. Plus like the, the Zamperla motorbike coaster. Um, I mean, it's, it's a pretty drastic like lay down kind of straddle position. These ones are like, Oh wait, what did I say?
00:37:46
Speaker
the same Perla. Oh yeah. There's doesn't have quite that much of a lay down position, but yeah, these are different than the other Vekoma ones though, which is weird. Yeah. I mean, I can't just, I can't see the clientele of Florida or Orlando and like asking people to straddle a bike. Like it's just, yeah, right. Get on the bike fatty.
00:38:16
Speaker
I just had a thought. The amount of crotch sweat. Oh, yeah, especially like peak summer. That that photo of the the hand grips with all the dead skin stuck in it. I mean, that's going to get even worse during peak season. I'm also like. Somebody's going to get their ass flashed.
00:38:43
Speaker
And some like Mormon is going to complain or something. Right. However, if you can pull off like, um, the bat wing on Tron, the bat wing, you know, the, the ball game, you show your balls. What, what, wait, what is the bat wing though?
00:39:10
Speaker
It's when you pull your scrotum apart flat so it looks like a bat wing. Bonus points if there's a bright light and you can see the veins. Son of a bitch, you're going to get arrested. A Colorado man arrested at Walt Disney World, escorted out shouting,
00:39:39
Speaker
It was for the podcast. Oh, well, I'm very interested to see how this goes when it opens to the public. Agreed. I. Will the sit down seats be on Genie plus? No. No, just the ride. They don't. I don't think they'll have it separated out like that. They do that once you're already at the station.
00:40:08
Speaker
They should have just built two of them, build two of them. One of them is just for fat seats. They built two space mountains. They can build two Tron rides. See, I always thought like the whole effect of it, that it was like the first time I saw a YouTube video, I actually thought it was a dueling coaster. Cause the whole like,
00:40:37
Speaker
effects of it. It's like with the theme, it definitely seems like it should be. Also, how weird is it that it launches into a big swooping turn? Into a mid course. Yep. It's like normally the OK. Like rock and roller coaster, just a
00:41:08
Speaker
Another park over launches and goes into like a cobra roll. Tron launch. I mean, it looks cool at night. It's a visually appealing ride, but yeah. Looks like it's a great addition to the park. Yep. As we agreed.
00:41:34
Speaker
Also, like, I mean, every Disney coaster basically just goes into a dark building and does a bunch of left and right turns. It's like left turn, small drop, break, right turn, left turn, small drop, break. Small drop, left turn. I mean, is this the Imagineering story? The thing that that show made me realize
00:42:03
Speaker
is that they build everything by just making models and then scaling them up. They're like, we start with a one, two hundred and 18th model and we work our way up to a one to one model. I mean, hey, it worked for Arrow. That's what I'm saying. Like you watch those videos, it's always a model. Yeah.
00:42:31
Speaker
They're like, Oh yeah. And the model shop. Oh, the model shop. Yeah. I bet that's an important place. I always kind of found the modeling like of arrow kind of funny. Cause they did that for the suspended coaster. They had like the fucking cord screw in it. Yeah. Which man, I wish I could have that model. It's probably sitting in some guy's basement.
00:43:00
Speaker
Well, I don't want it after that. Cause you know what's happened to that thing. He was like, he was like, I was hoping it would make a baby model. One thing that is kind of cool though, is that, you know, the, the like actual sized prototype of the suspended coaster where it just had one car. Yeah.
00:43:30
Speaker
See that actually looked cool in a smaller scale and it probably would have actually been fine. They should have just done like a, like a wild mouse kind of layout, but just with a single suspended car that would have actually been pretty fun. That would have been, although it wouldn't have worked, it would have still had the same problem as the bat. Yeah.
00:43:58
Speaker
It would have lasted a little longer, but I'm surprised they didn't. I don't know. That just seems like a big fuck up. Like, how do you not know that the track is going to bend? Right. Like banking. Yeah, I get it. The cars swing out more without the banging, but trust me, the track also experiences the forces.
00:44:27
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, especially like looking. I mean, the bat looks fucking insane. And obviously I wish I would have written it or could have written it. But you can just tell by looking at it like, yeah, that's not that's not right. Kind of like, I don't know, kind of like how remember the old Discovery Channel shows when they were showing I think it was Superman Ultimate Flight or Superman the Escape. No.
00:44:56
Speaker
What the fuck did they call the Superman that impulse coaster at Jaga Lake? Uh, shoot. Was it like ultimate escape? Maybe. Oh yeah. Ultimate escape. Yeah. The, um, like I remember in the discovery channel show, it showed like footage of the swaying towers.
00:45:18
Speaker
And they were explaining, it's like, yeah, the tower sway because it's absorbing all the force from the train. If they didn't sway, the towers would break. And then four years later, it's like, oh, yeah, we had to add extra supports because they sway and they're adding hairline fractures all over the track. Yeah, they sway more than we thought they would. Oopsie.
00:45:44
Speaker
Yeah. And that, that old Swain was like pretty intense. Like I remember seeing that like the first time I saw V2 in person. Um, I mean, it looked really, it looked kind of cool, but yeah, it would just like the back tower when it held. Yeah. Yeah. Like the first couple seasons before they added that extra support when it had the holding break, it would just like, you'd be like, holy shit.
00:46:12
Speaker
Yeah, almost like you could see the, yeah, cause it would like kind of sway as the train would go up and then it would stop swaying for like the second and the train would hold there. But then when the train would come down, it almost was like, like a, like a slingshot type of motion. The track would just like sway and it would sway for like pretty much it would just, it wouldn't stop swaying. It would sway the entire time until the next train came.
00:46:43
Speaker
And then it would sway again. Remember that video of a rattler at Fiesta Texas? Oh yeah. Yep. Talk about rides that you know something's not right. Yeah. I remember I got downvoted on Reddit. Um, this is back when I used to bash RMC and uh,
00:47:11
Speaker
I remember cause the opening opening year of it, there were like a bunch of sections that would sway like fucking crazy. There's one turn. Like if you're sitting in the brake run and the train behind you goes through like on the last lap, the turn that goes over the station, kind of like that shit swayed like six feet. It was really bad. And um,
00:47:41
Speaker
I remember I made some like ripped on Reddit posts. I was like, yeah, I wrote seal vengeance. And like, I was surprised by how shitty the engineering of RMC was because of like how much the ride was swaying. And I got like all these, I got like all these downvotes and they're people like, that's like, uh, it's RMC. They're not stupid. Clearly if it was an issue, they would have like, they would address it. It's like, uh, no.
00:48:10
Speaker
Oh, Reddit. Yeah. Our slash roller coasters is weird. You got people in your their forties defending their home park GCI. Prowler is just really good. No, your opinion is wrong. You just don't know how to appreciate it. Clearly, you haven't written it at night. Obviously, you don't know what seat to ride in.
00:48:41
Speaker
And even weirder is our slash roller coaster jerk. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what to think about that one. I'm a total lurker there. I'm like, should I post some? Nah, I better not read it. Yeah. Well, um, speaking of jerk, a sports illustrated resort is planned for Orlando.
00:49:09
Speaker
Oh, swimsuit, sweet, please. It's going to be like a bunch of boomers who go to Hooters type of vibe. Oh, God. What the fuck are they even going to do for that? Like, how do you have a like not it's not like a sports resort. It's it's sports illustrated. Oh, look at that. It's a picture of Jim, the anvil, night heart.
00:49:39
Speaker
Who's uh, Oh, wow. Look at that. It's a picture of, uh, Scotty Pippin. Is, is one of the suites just going to be like the swimsuit edition? Yes. It's called the fantasy suite.
Ben's Dog Chaos
00:50:00
Speaker
Remember that, um, that Harley Davidson suite at that one hotel.
00:50:08
Speaker
Oh yeah, that was fucking weird. Yeah. Like why Harley Davidson? Milwaukee. I guess. The only thing that was gross about that room though was that the blankets were Harley Davidson blankets, but they looked like the type of blankets you can't really wash.
00:50:32
Speaker
Speaking of gross hotel stuff, we, um, this past weekend, we went to, uh, one skiing and we stayed at like a, like a ski and ski out cabin at the base of one of the mountains. And like, there were fucking toenails in the living room carpet. Yeah, it was fucking gross. That's disgusting. How much did you pay a lot for it?
00:51:00
Speaker
Um, not with it split up. Well, that's good at least. Yeah. But I mean, it was still, it was really, I mean, it was a good spot. Like you basically walked out your door and put your skis on and you were right at the base of the mountain. So that was cool. Nice. Well, hopefully that made up for the, uh, toenails. Yeah, that was fucking gross.
00:51:29
Speaker
I don't know, I just, there's like times or like Airbnbs or whatever. And like, I always look at the fabrics and like, you know, that's a lot of those fabrics that they are not cleaning after every time. And then I just get that picture of the lemon party image right on the hotel comforter.
00:51:52
Speaker
So that'll be an opportunity for all of you once the sports illustrated. Yeah. Don't sit on the comforter. You might get pregnant. Um, a lawsuit has been filed against the American dream mall over an unpaid loan. So last week it was an unpaid taxes. Now there's an unpaid loan.
00:52:22
Speaker
Um, half of the only like half of the shops are filled. So, and what was it? They're opening like a boot. What was that story? They're opening like a boost mobile. Cricket wireless.
00:52:43
Speaker
Yeah, it's just going to eventually like in like two, three years, it's just, it's just going to be one of those like Baskin Robbins, Dunkin Donuts, payday loans, boost mobile, like all in one stores with like one guy working. And like an arcade for some reason. Yeah. And then just a bunch of storefronts with like pictures of like
00:53:11
Speaker
smoothies or whatever. And it's like great retail opportunities available called Julie. Yep. It'll kind of look like the, um, those like nineties talk. Remember the gurney Taco Bell and they had those like really old nineties images. Yes. Yeah. Like a picture of chopped tomatoes. You're like, okay.
00:53:37
Speaker
And then a picture of like a bunch of teenagers in a Jeep, all eating like chalupas. Dream Grande. I mean, I'm surprised they never use that as a tagline for Taco Bell. These motherfuckers said live mas. Yeah, I like Dream Grande. Quick, Del Taco.
00:54:07
Speaker
I don't think Del Taco even has like a slogan. I don't think that Del Taco. We're made of food. Yeah, pretty much. Just Del Taco. You already know. Del Taco. What if Taco Bell wasn't made of chemicals? We don't put sand in our food. Yeah. Like there's, um,
00:54:33
Speaker
I never think to get Del Taco. There's like a, there's a few here. Um, lately I've been eating a lot of like, uh, like once a month I'll get raising Kate. Holy shit. There's an explosion outside. Oh shit. Um, yep. Here comes the dog freaking out. Could you get for living on a meth street?
00:55:03
Speaker
Yeah, you hear the explosion. It's okay. What was that? He got on the garbage today. Uh-oh. Yeah, you fucking piggy. You like garbage? Ben's consuming his dog. I did fuck up. I like took the trash bag out of the can and I was in a rush. I set up by the door.
00:55:30
Speaker
And then I left the house. So it was my fault. What was funny was that there were, um, there were like four day old chick fillet rappers. That's the only thing he got into cause he's homeless. He's homophobic. Yeah.
00:55:58
Speaker
It wasn't about the chick. It wasn't about the chicken. It was about sending a message to you. Exactly. No, he just, he looks so disapproved. Like he just has this like such a like condescending, disapproving look. Every time I show any kind of affection to my boyfriend, like he just like stares.
00:56:27
Speaker
And then he tries to like break it up. He'll like jump on, like he'll jump in between us and like try to split us apart. It's kind of funny. He's like, are you still in that phase? You're like, God damn it. So I guess the real question is how much longer will the American dream mall hold on? Um, I say three years.
00:56:57
Speaker
I would or OK, I would say two years in its current form. And then by year three, it's going to start slowly or. Quickly declining. Like I'm super excited. To see a mall end up in the Dan Bell series. Less than a decade after opening. Right.
00:57:29
Speaker
So, it looks like they're going to tear down the Orlando Freefowl Tower. I guess I'm not surprised. Question will be, where will it go? To hell. Maybe it'll open in Mexico. I think so. Six Flags or Michigan's Adventure.
00:58:00
Speaker
I don't think that that thing is going anywhere in America. If it goes anywhere at all. Yeah. It's too bad that like shitty management had to fuck that up. I mean, it's really unfortunate that, you know, poor decision making led to somebody's life, you know? Yeah. Being taken. Yeah. Cause like, and it's a bad, now it's like a bad look for fun time and it's not even their fault.
00:58:30
Speaker
So I guess the real question is how much longer will icon park be around? Probably not that long. They're, they're, they're going to have like a $250,000 fine. And I just, I just skimmed it. And it seems like that lawsuits, not even from the family. That's just from the, like the state of Florida. I lost, I lost the store. I think,
00:59:02
Speaker
If I remember correctly, let's see. That makes sense. It'd be just a fine versus a civil suit from the family. Yeah. Look, I hope, I hope the family gets whatever the closest semblance to justice they can. Yeah.
00:59:26
Speaker
Yeah. Fuck that guy or not, not the victim, the owner already. Right. The, the, um, perpetrator of changing the restraints, modifying the restraints against the manufacturer's recommendations. It's really unfortunate. And, uh,
00:59:51
Speaker
I'm kind of hoping that they don't move that right anywhere so that they're not able to make any money from it. Yeah, that's true. So I wonder if it's one of those things that like will fun time just get that tower back or does it ride and get seized and put in storage? Like I wonder, like I wonder what happens to that. Yeah. You know, honestly,
01:00:21
Speaker
That's a good question. I mean, typically I think, you know, once something is evidence in a case of that nature, especially if it becomes a criminal case, then those things typically aren't released by law enforcement. It's a lot of storage requirement to store that thing.
01:00:50
Speaker
Seriously. Dude, fuck, fuck, scream skip the web. I like open the website and it's starting to overclock my computer. Yeah, it's not not the greatest. We were talking before about how, you know, I don't know, 10, 15 years ago. That place was like just a rumor mill.
01:01:22
Speaker
And now somehow it's viewed as this completely legitimate news outlet. I believe that's where I saw the, uh, like I remember seeing the tumbleweed rumor for great America back in like oh four. No, it was before that. It was probably like 2002.
01:01:45
Speaker
It's, it's a lot like now when you see, like you read a news article and it's like, Buzzfeed news is reporting and you're like, fucking Buzzfeed news? Really? Right. It's the same as that. It's just like, that's the one we're going with. All right. It was kind of like what I was mentioning last week where I have to say now whenever, anytime I see a rumor,
01:02:16
Speaker
And then that's where Orion video, I kind of, that's like my new barometer of truth. Altura Orion in the gospel. Yeah. And if that extended dragster layout comes true, that'll be pretty sweet. I haven't watched the video yet. I guess I'll have to go find it. So the current rumor is the new station will be more on the midway. And so it'll do one of those like,
01:02:46
Speaker
Like it'll basically turn like a, like a, like a one eighth turn out of the station, go over switch track, and then it will do like a, a launched bunny Hill multi-launch and then it'll have a back spike. So it'll do one, two, three passes to get up to top speed.
01:03:10
Speaker
Although the only thing that doesn't really sit right is the fact that they said that, or he said that they're going to retract the whole top hat. And at that, it's like, I don't know if you're replacing all the track, I guess at that point, it just seems like what's the point of repurposing the ride. And like, I guess, I mean, I guess the supports are expensive. I get that. But there still is a lot of like, uh,
01:03:40
Speaker
I don't know. There's a lot of like work and costs to analyze the existing structure. You can't just like use it as is. You got to modify it in some way. You have to probably fix certain things. And I don't know. I was going to say just the labor of that. It's got to be costly because construction at that height has got to require like specialized training and stuff. Right. Yeah. So like.
01:04:10
Speaker
just the amount of man hours that would be needed at whatever those rates are just doesn't even seem super feasible. Yeah. And like, you know, going back and like going to the business perspective, it's like, you know, they are a business. So it's like at the same time, um, like is having a giant launch coaster with a top hat.
01:04:41
Speaker
like worth it. I don't know. Unless the, I mean, I guess it's not really the structure that's iconic, but I don't know. We'll see. We still got like more than a year before it reopens. Yeah. I mean, I imagine they'll probably announce in August or something. Yeah.
01:05:05
Speaker
So my original prediction was if they did the multi-launch mode or version is that they'll use the opportunity. Cause here's the thing. If you're going to build a back spike, you might as well make it 500 feet. The coaster train doesn't have to go to 500 feet. It'd be one of those things where like the track is like, you know, 495 feet tall and they put a 25, 30 foot tall radio and 10 on top of it.
01:05:36
Speaker
And the train is like, you know, it goes like 90% of the way up the back spike. But it's still a way to get the, you know, get the record. Yeah, I mean, I could see it. I don't know for sure that I've ever really understood how they measure the height of roller coasters anyway. Right. Like, as far as I know, we have all basically just been taking the engineers at their word.
01:06:06
Speaker
And not even the engineers, the parks, cause like the, the, the ride manual always has the right information, but it's the parks market. It's the parks interpretation and marketing team that usually fucks it up. Yeah. I don't know. If anyone has any info on that, I would love to hear more cause it's like, yeah, no, there's not a fucking,
01:06:31
Speaker
250 foot tape measure that someone's going to just drop from the top. And I'm sure in those situations, like the manufacturer probably doesn't care what the park says. Oh, I'm sure they don't. Yeah, because it's not like it's going to come back to them. Yeah, what is some coaster boy going to write them an email? Right.
01:06:59
Speaker
try to ask him about it at IAPA. That's just crazy to think that it's so easy to imagine, but it's also just crazy. People emailing a park's PR department and being like, excuse me, I need to know the exact amount of steps on the lift hill. Wait a minute.
01:07:29
Speaker
What if we email park PR people and ask for exact heights of questionable ride records? They're going to just say whatever they always say. True. CC the manufacturer. They're going to be like, you need to get laid. I don't know. Kind of in a slow week.
01:08:00
Speaker
Of course we're also recording this on a Monday and we recorded our last episode on a Thursday. So there hasn't been a lot of time to have stuff happen. Yeah, literally nothing has happened. There'll probably be some big news this week and we won't be able to talk about it till next week.
01:08:26
Speaker
I mean, even coming up, even coming to events, like what's out, what else is out there? Like Tron's going to open to the public or is that still, or is that like another couple of weeks? Uh, April. Oh, okay. I mean, I suppose we're almost at the end of February here. So yeah, shit. I know man. Fucking 2023 already rolling on through it.
01:08:56
Speaker
What's nice about this year so far is since we've been back, we've been back every week. We have. And we try to keep up the consistency for you guys. I mean, I wouldn't expect 52 episodes this year, but. You know, we want we want to be on when we're on. Is there? Oh, yeah, there are 52 weeks in a year. Yeah, obviously, we didn't have any for the first like three weeks this year.
01:09:31
Speaker
So I guess I should say, don't expect 49 episodes this year. Well, by 2024, this whole show would just be AI chat bots. Yeah. One will just be controlled by you and one will be controlled by me and you and I will be on Peloton bikes. If we could do it, if we could, do you still have your Peloton? Oh yeah.
01:10:00
Speaker
Maybe we should do that as an episode where we just ride pelotons and record. Oh, my God. Do you do you really think people want to hear us fucking panting that much? I mean, maybe some of them. Yeah, you can start your homie fans if you want to. That's up to you. But all right. Yeah, I don't know. We don't have much else. You got anything else, Ben? Not really.
01:10:32
Speaker
Damn me neither. That's all right. Do we have any, are there any, uh, voicemails or anything? No. So feel free to leave us one guys. Three one two five raw five LA or three one two five seven two nine five five two. I'm going to check the, uh, the questions.
01:11:00
Speaker
No, we don't have any new questions. No, but if you'd like to send one in, please join our discord that you can find the link in the episode description or at L A N K T R dot E E slash Y F C S. Join our discord. You can get in touch with us there or your favorite coaster sucks at Gmail dot com.
01:11:30
Speaker
I don't know. Yeah, I think that's pretty much all of it. So, uh, thanks a bunch for listening. And until next time, your favorite coaster.