Transcript
Speaker: Bigger talks, bigger talks.
Speaker: And we back again with another episode.
Speaker: And we are at the beautiful West Hollywood location of Soho House.
Speaker: And I have the amazing TV and film director, the mind coach, Elizabeth Blake Thomas.
Speaker: Did I say that right?
Speaker: You did.
Speaker: Got it.
Speaker: Beautiful.
Speaker: And we met a few weeks ago at Soho House, and we just connected energetically, mentally, and we just went into this whole discovery of rediscovering life.
Speaker: And you have this thing that I like, medicine with words.
Speaker: So before we get into that and unpack that, can you give the audience, the listeners, the viewers, just a synopsis like who you are, what you do, and what are you all about?
Speaker: I can indeed.
Speaker: So it's a very interesting question though, because when you say, who are you, I will say there's been this transformation over the last, I suppose, five years, 10 years.
Speaker: And then even before that, you're looking at who are you?
Speaker: So I talk about putting, wearing the different hats metaphorically, although I love hats.
Speaker: I'm a mother, which is very important.
Speaker: A mother to a beautiful, inside beautiful 21 year old.
Speaker: I am a mother to my baby Maltese.
Speaker: I am a film director, but I'm also transitioning from that right now.
Speaker: And that's pretty major.
Speaker: I am an author, a mind coach, a wellness mindfulness coach.
Speaker: And so all of these hats kind of come underneath being a storyteller.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I think that is what has led me to do everything I've done to get me to where I am now.
Speaker: And what is that place that you're at right now that we can unpack and speak on?
Speaker: Because you are a storyteller, you are a writer, you are a mind coach, you have beautiful energy.
Speaker: And I really believe you're here to help people heal, evolve, more importantly, transform, to rediscover not only their life, but themselves.
Speaker: So where are you in your current reality of life with all these things you have going on?
Speaker: the most incredible place.
Speaker: I mean, when I start to think about it, I get, I get literal goosebumps because I think having gone through the life I've gone through, which is, you know, we all have various elements that make us who we are to be in a place now where I feel the midlife transformation is happening.
Speaker: Let's talk about it.
Speaker: So I'm 45 and I always used to say I was 38 plus one, 38 plus two, 38 plus three.
Speaker: And it was just going to continue because I liked my 30s.
Speaker: I feel beyond empowered to have turned 45 and very proud of that number.
Speaker: And I look at it and go, okay, let's pretend I'm halfway through.
Speaker: To live to 90 would be pretty awesome.
Speaker: So if I was to live to 90 and be halfway through now, it is my midlife transformation.
Speaker: And I feel it's a time to make definite decisions, to live with intention, to make those decisions, to say, who am I and what am I?
Speaker: So in the last five months, that huge transformation happened.
Speaker: where I was away on one of my retreats and I run these workshops and I'm there for other people.
Speaker: I'm always trying to be of service, to help guide, heal.
Speaker: And I have this awesome thing I've created called a pyramid of purpose.
Speaker: It's literally the shape of the pyramid and it has various elements to it.
Speaker: And I had completed mine about a year and a half ago.
Speaker: And I was looking at it and I was going, hold on a minute, I'm telling everybody to keep theirs updated and I haven't updated mine.
Speaker: And what's so amazing about this pyramid is down here is supposed to be the thing, like the be all and end all.
Speaker: And you work up these layers and you have this over question, this overarching question that says, does whatever it is you're going to be doing lead you closer to that bottom layer, which is your be all and end all?
Speaker: And my... Is that a 90 to build an end all?
Speaker: It's part of it.
Speaker: It's part of from now to go to the end.
Speaker: Got it.
Speaker: And so for me, that was not, it was tangible.
Speaker: It was actually, instead of making that movie, I actually now want to be writing my books more and running my workshops around the world.
Speaker: Amen.
Speaker: So what's happened is over the last couple of months, working on my books, I've worked out what it is I want to do.
Speaker: And it's what I know you do, which is be of service, be of total service.
Speaker: And in order to travel, in order to share my knowledge, my practices, I know that I have to take this around the world.
Speaker: And it's a very exciting time to say, you can do this.
Speaker: Because at 45, it might be, well, have you got children?
Speaker: You're supposed to be at home.
Speaker: What are you doing with your career?
Speaker: And I found this window of opportunity and I'm going to make the most of it.
Speaker: Yeah, and I think we all deserve a moment of pivot, right?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Sometimes we need to pause between pivot, but sometimes we try to pivot without pausing.
Speaker: We could relate because I was telling you three weeks ago that...
Speaker: I'm in a midlife crisis, I'm 35, right?
Speaker: Midlife transformation, let's change the narrative.
Speaker: Right, right, you know, words have meaning, right?
Speaker: And it was about not being so connected and attached to the things I've once done and accomplished.
Speaker: And I was like, what is this new person?
Speaker: What is this new identity?
Speaker: How do I expand to a greater version of myself?
Speaker: What does it look like?
Speaker: So, for people listening and watching, I want you, if you can take us
Speaker: through, I think we did like some exercises a few weeks back.
Speaker: We can kind of like do one now so they can hear and see on me.
Speaker: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker: That you do in your workshops and you do what you're one-on-one coaching.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: To help people better understand themselves.
Speaker: Well, I think the biggest thing is to also understand this word purpose.
Speaker: You know, the optical illusion of purpose, success, happiness.
Speaker: And there was a situation where I was visited on my boat because I used to live on a boat.
Speaker: Now, it's not a yacht, like a 34 foot boat.
Speaker: And I lived there with my daughter and my dogs.
Speaker: It's this tiny little thing.
Speaker: And I had a friend visit me and say, oh, you're going to be really successful and you're going to get a bigger boat.
Speaker: And I was like, why am I going to get a bigger boat?
Speaker: Because it's only still me sitting on the chair.
Speaker: So what does that bigger boat do?
Speaker: But we're taught as a society to believe that the more we have, the more we do, the accolades that we are given,
Speaker: especially in the entertainment world, it's an Academy Award.
Speaker: Thank you, this is what I've come to do.
Speaker: We're made to believe that once we reach that, then we've done it, then we will be happy, be successful, be purposeful.
Speaker: So what I try to do is break that all down.
Speaker: Break it down.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: So I just got goosebumps.
Speaker: So what I did, because you have to practice what you preach, I sold everything.
Speaker: I sold my boat.
Speaker: I sold my VW bus and I made a decision, an intentional decision to say what else can I do with that and that money was able to then afford me this time out like you said the pause, the pause to give you the space to work it out.
Speaker: So one of the biggest things I do with people, I have several tools and we discuss the tools and break those down but one of the
Speaker: most crucial things I think is brain breathing.
Speaker: Oh brain breathing.
Speaker: Exactly and this can be in all sorts of ways.
Speaker: So some people like to do it in a meditative way, meditation, some people do their yoga.
Speaker: I find that I have to clear my brains totally out which my ex-person might say to me there wasn't much in there anyway.
Speaker: Actually we're very good, he's very sweet, I adore him.
Speaker: But the clearing of the brain, okay so
Speaker: So that would be the first thing I would say to you right now.
Speaker: And I have big images of how I see things.
Speaker: So I imagine the brain has filing cabinets.
Speaker: Do you call them filing cabinets in America?
Speaker: You know, the filing cabinets with like those.
Speaker: Compartmentalized.
Speaker: But they're like, filing cabinets is in an office.
Speaker: Imagine them in an office.
Speaker: And you know how you open them up and they've got those kind of separate files in them.
Speaker: But our brains are filled with so many.
Speaker: And your filing cabinets will be different to mine.
Speaker: So let's have a go at this now.
Speaker: And let's think about what filing cabinets we have.
Speaker: So I would put mine under almost like the hats I wear.
Speaker: I have a work filing cabinet.
Speaker: I have a love filing cabinet.
Speaker: I probably have a creative filing cabinet.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: So think about what you have.
Speaker: So you tell me what filing cabinet, you could have maybe five to 10, what would they be?
Speaker: Well, the first thing that comes to mind is I have a spiritual filing cabinet.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I have a physical filing cabinet specialment, a workout body.
Speaker: And then I have an energetic filing cabinet where my energy is, my everything, you know, I intentionally work on it, right, for the better of myself and others.
Speaker: So my spiritual following cabinet is like prayer, meditation, receiving downloads, being present in the moment.
Speaker: My physical following cabinet is working out, eating healthy, getting my rest when needed.
Speaker: And then my energy following cabinet is more like
Speaker: in my EQ being aware of like how my emotions might be affecting my energy or my life.
Speaker: So I'm checking in with my energy.
Speaker: Great.
Speaker: Yeah, it's pretty so many more, but the custom in mind in the moment, those three come out.
Speaker: Okay, so let's, you've got those three, but let's pretend you have told me you've got five more.
Speaker: So let's pretend you've got seven.
Speaker: Good number.
Speaker: Five, six, seven, eight, I've said actually, I can't do maths.
Speaker: So eight filing cabinets, let's pretend.
Speaker: Now I would say to you, so visually, what do they look like?
Speaker: Because from sometimes I've got, let's say my filing cabinet for my creativity, it's probably quite chaotic with like things coming out of it, probably different types of files, different levels on drawers.
Speaker: it physically looks like something.
Speaker: Whereas maybe my Isabella, my daughter cabinet being a mother, maybe it's quite organized.
Speaker: Maybe I feel like it's there.
Speaker: So give me an example of maybe what one of them could look like.
Speaker: So when I think about the physical fountain cabinet, I think about the color green, like a strong green with the fountain.
Speaker: just just things just energy jumping out of the green like the energy is just jumping it's strong it's courageous then when i think about spiritual falling habit i see like clouds and birds doves flying and like gold uh you know aura lights just sprinkling all over like it's just
Speaker: It's like the chandeliers and it's beautiful and it's effortless and it just go and then maybe you're the energy father cabinet and it's green, pink, purple, green, black.
Speaker: Like it's just, it's all over the way and it's just zapping like a heartbeat, you know?
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: You know, and it's like, I'm trying to control it, put it in the plates and
Speaker: Great, so again, let's pretend we've now discussed your eight.
Speaker: And obviously what I tend to do is this could take a good hour, two hours a day, whatever, it leads to something.
Speaker: But what I would then say is you then draw those or write those, because the process of thinking about what's up here, putting it out on paper gives you that pause of reflection.
Speaker: And then the brain breathing aspect comes from sorting those cabinets out.
Speaker: And even if you don't have answers for it, it's methodically going through them, thinking about them, tidying them up, closing them up, moving them aside.
Speaker: So for a time, you could empty your brain.
Speaker: It's really important to have an empty brain, which I don't find difficult.
Speaker: I'm very good at it now.
Speaker: I'm an absolute expert.
Speaker: And I find that the way that I can make it happen quicker is when I have a certain environment for me.
Speaker: So it might be that there's an environment that suits people more than others.
Speaker: I do enjoy looking out at the ocean.
Speaker: So I find when I go to sit in somewhere like Malibu, sit on the beach and I look at that ocean,
Speaker: Those ions really are helping me.
Speaker: For someone else that might be sitting in a forest, it might be hearing the wood cankers.
Speaker: So you can alter where you do this brain breathing exercise.
Speaker: And there are several that go along with it, but that's the kind of the most important one to start with is to clear your brain.
Speaker: Because you know what it's like if you've got a diary filled with things or your calendar's filled or they joke about when you're a writer, you know, if you've got a dirty cupboard, you want to clean that before you start writing.
Speaker: We can't do anything until we've cleared the decks.
Speaker: And that's kind of like how I look at my energy when I'm working out.
Speaker: You know, it's like, they say motion changes emotion.
Speaker: But if I'm just stagnant, I'm just sitting on a lot of energy and say I'm anxious or I'm overwhelmed or I have a little bit of fear about the future, whatever.
Speaker: when I get in that gym and I move the energy around, it makes me feel clear and I want to think clear.
Speaker: Because all this energy is just moving around and it's not really going anywhere.
Speaker: I can bombard myself with around information, around thoughts, I'm going to manifest the wrong things.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Because I'm not allowing that brain breathing through my energy to come out.
Speaker: So that's an attentional process, people, to know that you can do brain breathing, you know?
Speaker: Anywhere, anytime that suits you.
Speaker: And that location is important.
Speaker: But it's really, yeah, and it is important to understand, to give yourself time to do that, because that's the other thing that people make the mistake of.
Speaker: They have a new project or they have something to do.
Speaker: And it's just like you're sitting there with a closet filled with something that needs emptying.
Speaker: You have to clear the space first.
Speaker: And sometimes, I mean, when I first started this, it would take me a week,
Speaker: it would take me a week to clear my brain so that I could have that space.
Speaker: And it's something to get into the practice of.
Speaker: So that's kind of one of the first things.
Speaker: And then there's always the element of when you've cleared your brain and you've decided what you want to bring back in.
Speaker: It's like when you empty your house and then you bring a few things back in at a time.
Speaker: So I could bring back in one of my filing cabinets and start to work on it and break things down.
Speaker: But clarity is so important.
Speaker: So yesterday I had a mint.
Speaker: I was running with Hoka.
Speaker: We did a 5K.
Speaker: And it was amazing, it was revealing.
Speaker: And I had an amazing time.
Speaker: I was just high on vibes, like so sick, fly, you know.
Speaker: And this morning, because I was in a different space after, I found myself unconsciously doing things that's not been a thing.
Speaker: But because I was clear from that moment, that high I was on, I woke up like really feeling good.
Speaker: But unconsciously, I was paying attention to my patterns and my behavior.
Speaker: Like, I'm on my phone and I'm scrolling.
Speaker: And I'm like, oh, this is part of my old pattern.
Speaker: When I feel like
Speaker: I don't have anything intentionally to do.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: You actually helped me today because you are my mom because you're supposed to meet today.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So opposed to me not having anything, I could have just really went in that paradigm because I'm sore.
Speaker: I ran five miles, 5K.
Speaker: I mean, I was like, I don't really.
Speaker: So imagine me not working out like my normalcy.
Speaker: So now that energy,
Speaker: So all it's done is put me in a space that's not the best space for me.
Speaker: And unconsciously, I was watching little things where like, I thought it'd come up.
Speaker: Where's that thought coming from?
Speaker: Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker: And so these little tools that you've given us and that you have, it's all good for your intentions to realize we all have a pattern that we want to keep alive.
Speaker: Yes, yes.
Speaker: And if it makes sense to the unconscious, not the conscious, we're going to do it without thinking it.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: And in fact, you brought up something that's very important, which I also talk about, is how you start your day.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So every day when I begin my day, I actually say, how do I want to feel at the end of it?
Speaker: Ooh, hold on, pause, bigger talk moment.
Speaker: So when you start your day, you think about how you want to end your day.
Speaker: I've never heard that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So I wake up and go, okay, by the end of today, I would like to feel...
Speaker: And it can be whatever you want.
Speaker: Let's keep it simple and say, I want to feel fulfilled.
Speaker: I want to feel happy.
Speaker: I want to, whatever that version is to you.
Speaker: And generally at the end of my day, I feel like I want to have been of service to somebody.
Speaker: That's really important for me because then I go to bed in a good state of mind.
Speaker: So when I wake up and think that feeling through,
Speaker: I then consciously sit there and take five minutes for myself before I enter the world.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And you just maybe I want to pivot just a little bit because I want to talk about what's currently going on in the world, especially here in L.A.
Speaker: with the right issues and the sag, striving and everything.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The interesting thing about how you say you want to finish your day was that at this event yesterday was the opportunity for me to be at, but I had already in my mind knew how I wanted to show up because the event, the thing implanted in me how I want to be, what I want to look like, what I want to feel like.
Speaker: So then I thought about in a moment, if you don't have anything on the schedule, you're not even probably thinking about how you want to feel like.
Speaker: Or you are like, oh, I don't want to go to work.
Speaker: So now, like, say, for instance, let's take life away as far as like, because I always say, what you do is not who you are.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: I'm a podcaster.
Speaker: That's not who I am.
Speaker: You're a mind-pressure.
Speaker: I'm not completely who you are.
Speaker: So you take the podcast away.
Speaker: You take the mind-pressure.
Speaker: Oh, here in LA, you take the TV side away.
Speaker: You take the acting, the writing side.
Speaker: who are you and how do you feel when you don't have to think?
Speaker: So I think that's a beautiful segment too.
Speaker: How did you even get to the concept to even get to that point?
Speaker: To even know that, like, what was the notion or inclination or the download you got to even think that?
Speaker: Because I think our jobs, careers, or even being a mom makes you think what you have to be, but you don't think about how you want to feel unless it's fulfilling.
Speaker: I used to say, I'm going on a date.
Speaker: I have no running event.
Speaker: I know how I want to be, so therefore I know how I want to feel.
Speaker: Or I'm not thinking about it, it's already in it, right?
Speaker: But if you start your day intentionally like that, then you might create more flow and flow in your life.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: If you don't have the profession or if it's taken away from you.
Speaker: So to people listening, you know, it's quote unquote, say we're in a recession, quote unquote.
Speaker: how do a person get into that space when they feel comfortable to kind of do that thing that you do every morning?
Speaker: Like what's the process or what's the train of thought?
Speaker: Because a lot of people might be in fear, they might be anxious.
Speaker: Well, and that's the thing that kind of connects to what you said earlier, which is we attach ourselves to things.
Speaker: So I'm very much of a bigger picture.
Speaker: I just am, it's in my nature.
Speaker: When I think about how I'm going to run a workshop, it's a bigger picture.
Speaker: I love the concept of life and death and this journey in between.
Speaker: Because the life and death is what we all have in common.
Speaker: Without question, that is going to happen.
Speaker: It's not a surprise, we're going to die.
Speaker: Which, not that long ago, I actually couldn't have even said those words.
Speaker: It was really a weird concept to me.
Speaker: You were so attached to what the meaning you gave me.
Speaker: Yes, exactly.
Speaker: And it's life and I'm alive now, but we all have died.
Speaker: so if you think about that journey and you think about this bigger picture and instead of thinking about it from zero to 90 years think of it from your eight o'clock in the morning to your six o'clock at night so there's still a schedule there's still a calendar of sorts whether this is a 24-hour day a week a month a year a decade your life yes so once you have that process in place
Speaker: your brain starts seeing things in a different way.
Speaker: And we also realize that every minute counts.
Speaker: Every minute matters.
Speaker: So if I'm intentionally thinking to myself how I want to feel, then every minute, even if I occasionally think, oh, I'm just going to check my phone, it doesn't matter because I can bring myself back to that.
Speaker: Now, to discuss how I got into that was because I suffered very badly with PTSD from a situation.
Speaker: and depression and I was very uh very low but the reason that nobody thinks I ever was or ever had this is because they never saw it because I intentionally tried to make things better and I realized that one way I could do it was because it's it's too big a concept to try and imagine how you can get through um
Speaker: initially it was even a day so I turned it into an hour how do I want to feel at the end of this hour and I made it manageable for me how do I want to feel at the end then I could build to the day then I can now sometimes do it for the week but it keeps me in check it's like this mental checklist yeah
Speaker: And it's beautiful you say that because I'm curious, why do you think us as humans suppress our real emotions?
Speaker: Just like you said, we don't want to say the word death or we don't want to think about it.
Speaker: But I feel like most of us, I would say maybe 70, 80 percent of us, we suppress our real emotions.
Speaker: And the reason why or how is because we work well.
Speaker: or we distract ourselves, right?
Speaker: Why do you think, what is this connotation that is attached to our emotions about the stuff we probably don't wanna feel?
Speaker: Why do you think we do that or less?
Speaker: Maybe it's just a human thing and it's human nature.
Speaker: Well, why do you think?
Speaker: I feel like you might have
Speaker: I have three words that I think I would use within that, which is vulnerability.
Speaker: You don't want to show our vulnerability because that's like when you have a tortoise, you've got the hard shell on the outside and the soft bit underneath.
Speaker: So you don't turn the tortoise upside down.
Speaker: It will be constantly eaten and damaged.
Speaker: We need to show that hard shell, don't we?
Speaker: Because that's what we're taught we should do.
Speaker: So vulnerabilities, I'd say shame.
Speaker: Shame is attached to a lot of the things that we do.
Speaker: And blame.
Speaker: Shame and blame.
Speaker: So those would be my three words that I would utilize to express why we are afraid to show what we're really feeling or thinking.
Speaker: And I wanted to add to that because all those three things I can relate to.
Speaker: Shame, blame, vulnerability.
Speaker: So I had shame around saying no.
Speaker: to someone I love or hear about family, friend, in any situation most of my life.
Speaker: You know, I gravitate on these people's energy because I was afraid if they would leave me, they would love me.
Speaker: So if Shane was there, then blame came up when if I did tell them how I really felt, I was vulnerable, they would make me feel like I'm even not good enough, even though I'm choosing that, or I would feel like I'm not what I say I am.
Speaker: I'm not real, I'm not being authentic.
Speaker: If you're supposed to care about me, if you're my friend, you will take to the airport or you wouldn't say no to me when I'm in a tough situation.
Speaker: However, I discovered when I am vulnerable and I don't have no shame and I don't care if you're blaming me,
Speaker: you're gonna be better and I'm gonna be better.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Because I'm standing up for myself, that's standing up for you because I enable you, you're gonna hurt you and you're gonna hurt me, that I'm gonna have built in resentment because of the shame, blame and a lack of vulnerability.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: So when I can face this fear of, oh, I'm gonna tell Elizabeth, no, and she's gonna blame me for not showing up to the podcast on time and I'm gonna feel like if you,
Speaker: can't be here because of a circumstance, whether we schedule or not.
Speaker: Even if you mentally woke up today and said, you know, I just feel off.
Speaker: I just feel off.
Speaker: Imagine if we all were truthful with each other.
Speaker: And that's therefore going back to the truth aspect and changing your narrative and being confident
Speaker: with who you are and what you're feeling.
Speaker: How do we do that?
Speaker: How do we get to that space?
Speaker: How do we discover that life within us?
Speaker: Yeah, so one of the techniques I use is called the Kintsugi technique.
Speaker: And that technique is actually based on an ancient emperor's story in China.
Speaker: And some people might know this, but he had his favorite teacup.
Speaker: And obviously being British, I love a good cup of tea.
Speaker: So I love this story.
Speaker: So he had his favorite tea cup and he's been brought his tea, you know, like this is such a special tea cup and the guy dropped it and it smashed into lots of pieces.
Speaker: So obviously the servant is there going, I'm so sorry, your emperor, you know, let me throw this away.
Speaker: And the emperor said, no, no, no, don't throw it away.
Speaker: We'll put it back together.
Speaker: But why don't we put it back together with gold?
Speaker: So those broken pieces are put back together in a more beautiful way.
Speaker: Now, when we're all born, we are all a whole, generally a whole teacup.
Speaker: Some of us might even be born with a few broken pieces.
Speaker: But that's good.
Speaker: The more broken we are, the more beautiful we can be.
Speaker: And when you start to recognize that, like if I was sitting here now doing this with you and saying, oh, no, no, I'm fine.
Speaker: I don't have any mental health problems.
Speaker: Oh, no, I never suffered from that.
Speaker: No, I'm all good.
Speaker: How is that going to work?
Speaker: Embrace who we are.
Speaker: Help me connect with you.
Speaker: Help us connect.
Speaker: It doesn't.
Speaker: So by acknowledging those broken pieces, by putting them back together with gold, we can actually show we're even more beautiful.
Speaker: And that's about finding your tribe within to do that.
Speaker: Yeah, because something you said, you said the more broken we are, the more beautiful we are, right?
Speaker: The beautiful we can be.
Speaker: And the thing that came in was awakening a new life purpose with Eckhart Tolle.
Speaker: He talks about pain and body.
Speaker: So I believe when I was born, I was born...
Speaker: My mom was in a pained body based on a second time she was in and things because I'm super spiritual.
Speaker: So usually kids or people who become super spirituals because they were born in a pained body.
Speaker: So maybe parts of me was in a pained body is broken.
Speaker: And I became super spiritually aware and confident that made me
Speaker: not as breakable maybe as someone who didn't grow up or was born that way.
Speaker: So it's interesting how contrast can actually be good.
Speaker: And the funny thing is, because we talked about, you know, midlife crisis or I forgot the word.
Speaker: Midlife transformation.
Speaker: Transformation.
Speaker: You know, I talked about the dark night of the soul and how I was afraid to face my shadow self, but actually my shadow, which is my pain,
Speaker: allow me to have gain in life, right?
Speaker: Have progress and have success.
Speaker: So what do you think in this moment for anybody that's going through something mentally, emotionally, spiritually awakening, like what is the first thing they should even think about or do to kind of get on the other side of that fear and have even more faith, more confidence so they can transfer and rediscover the life that, not that they want, that they might need to be where they want to be in life.
Speaker: Well, I don't want to trivialize it because obviously when you're working with people I work with, workshops or individuals, this is something that has to come through a process.
Speaker: And sometimes the order of my tools can change because I'll realize that someone is focused on something.
Speaker: Let's say they want to, I just want to know my purpose.
Speaker: Now I know that something behind that might need to be addressed first, but I will help them with that.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: But one of the exercises I was just going to go back to, because you were talking about even before you were born, it's a very important stage.
Speaker: And I have this technique that I do with people where you actually write a script of what it is you think you say when you were in the tummy of your mummy.
Speaker: So, for example, if you were in a tummy of somebody that maybe they didn't want you, or maybe they were told they couldn't have you, or maybe somebody that just was leading the way, if you write you as a script, and I did it the other day for myself, I wrote things like, hello, I'm in here.
Speaker: I just want to be heard.
Speaker: It's very quiet out there.
Speaker: Why is no one talking to me?
Speaker: And I had to ask my mother what had happened and how I was born and what it was like in that process.
Speaker: Because as a mother, I remember when I knew I was pregnant, I was told by quite a few people I should terminate my pregnancy.
Speaker: So I didn't want my baby to hear that.
Speaker: And so what I did was I ensured that I sang.
Speaker: I was there.
Speaker: So if Isabella wrote that, she would write, oh, I love hearing mummy talk to me.
Speaker: And I'm thinking that's, that's given her a different hello to the world than I had.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Now it doesn't mean that your parents didn't love you.
Speaker: There are some circumstances they do, some they don't, but it doesn't matter because this isn't their story.
Speaker: This is your story from the beginning.
Speaker: And it's so, it just makes so much sense because my mom told me when she was carrying me, she experienced the most pain.
Speaker: Everyone in the family said she should have had me.
Speaker: My dad said you should get an abortion because my sister was born a year prior.
Speaker: She was March 8th, I came March 9th the next year.
Speaker: So I can only imagine what was in her mental, her psyche and within her body.
Speaker: Here's the thing.
Speaker: I had, my mom was being with a set of twins.
Speaker: I was part of a twin and my other twin was naked.
Speaker: But I came a month early.
Speaker: So maybe me knowing that energetic as a child, I'm like, no, I'm trying to get out of here.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Imagine if you wrote that little scene.
Speaker: It's like you're literally there going, okay, I don't think I should stay in here for much longer.
Speaker: I'm just going to just not.
Speaker: Is anybody listening to me?
Speaker: I'm ready.
Speaker: But what that does is, again, it's like starting the day with an intention.
Speaker: If we think back to that moment and think back to it and acknowledge it and take it in.
Speaker: Oh, I've got such goosebumps.
Speaker: That is starting our process because that is where life starts.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Not now at 45, my new midlife transformation was happening, but I started then.
Speaker: And if that was my springboard, what does that do?
Speaker: Because the other thing that we tend to do is we tend to have these repetitive cycles of behavior.
Speaker: So another element, again, it takes time to do this.
Speaker: You just helped me heal from something in this moment because it makes me think that's probably why that the people please energy and abandonment things happening with my mom is because before birthday was trying to tell her to abandon me.
Speaker: And so when I came to earth, I did everything so nobody would abandon me.
Speaker: I wasn't really truly being myself because
Speaker: somewhere in my psyche as a baby before I was born.
Speaker: It's like, no, no, no,
Speaker: And it's not something we're told or spoken about.
Speaker: And that's why I also think that it's very interesting to look at the end, because we are all going to end up in a certain way.
Speaker: Again, how do we want to feel at that end?
Speaker: And so all of this is encompassed.
Speaker: with how we can then work on ourselves and all our stories are different and all our experiences are different but by you thinking about that and having fun with it as well having fun with that little voice that said thank
Speaker: hold on I want to come out.
Speaker: Or this is some some of them are like this is really nice in here I'm gonna hang out a bit longer.
Speaker: You know the babies that take another week or two weeks.
Speaker: You think about that again what does that create what kind of characters are we then creating in ourselves once we come into this big wide world.
Speaker: And so that cycle of behavior, that pattern, if you can work that out from the beginning, you'll then see a pattern of behavior.
Speaker: And it's cyclical.
Speaker: Mine is in decades.
Speaker: I've worked out that what happened between zero and 10, I repeated 10 to 20.
Speaker: I repeated 20 to 30.
Speaker: And I kind of repeated 30 to 40.
Speaker: in a different way with different outside influences and this thing i just broke a curse or a pattern that i have for most of my life and that's like i said telling someone i know that's really close to me and there's a thing that says sometimes you've got to tell the truth that might hurt someone's heart but it will heal their soul and so what i've learned is that if you're my friend
Speaker: and you're always in need for something, right?
Speaker: Mind you, I don't know how to say no.
Speaker: And say, man, since you need $2,000, right?
Speaker: You really need it.
Speaker: And I really know it.
Speaker: So my ego's, you gotta give it, right?
Speaker: So what do I always do?
Speaker: I give it.
Speaker: So what happens is you get what you need.
Speaker: I don't really wanna give it, but I also know you really need it.
Speaker: So on the back of the evening, I feel resentment.
Speaker: Or you don't grow.
Speaker: So what came to me is when, even if I had it now and I'm not giving it to you now, what happened is now you got to go through some process, metamorphosis, translation, and understand who do you need to become without this thing you think you need.
Speaker: Yeah, definitely.
Speaker: And trusting something greater or higher.
Speaker: So then what happens in return, you get some wisdom that you give me, right?
Speaker: Because I'm your friend, that I can attract an opportunity to give you way more without you even needing it.
Speaker: Absolutely, that's a very Kabbalistic process actually.
Speaker: Because I had that situation, there was a friend who did need some money.
Speaker: And I knew, because I'd seen her patterns of behavior, that if I did give her that, she would just spend it and spend it frivolously and would then, we'd be in the same place a month later, two months later, whatever it is.
Speaker: So I had to say no, which was very hard, very hard.
Speaker: And the growth that's happened from that person is huge because we are all on our own journey.
Speaker: And even though we think we're helping somebody, we're not.
Speaker: And especially as you said, if you behind the scenes have resentment or behind the scenes, you have those.
Speaker: And I look at that and say, you have to take responsibility for that.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: you didn't have to lend it.
Speaker: You chose to, so that's how you then feel.
Speaker: And there are, again, it's all feelings and emotions, what we're going through.
Speaker: And I think the core element to remember is that we are all human.
Speaker: We are all human.
Speaker: It's like we're not invincible.
Speaker: We're not these Marvel characters.
Speaker: It's going to be that our walls can crumble and we don't know what's going to happen and the outside world influences us a lot.
Speaker: Social media, adverts, the shoulds, our parental behavior, any habits that were formed as we were younger, we were repeating those patterns.
Speaker: So it's life is a lot.
Speaker: It's the words of my daughter.
Speaker: She said that the other day.
Speaker: She's talking about life.
Speaker: What is life to you?
Speaker: What's life?
Speaker: So I, my latest book, so I have the Living With Intention, which is coming out later this year.
Speaker: My latest book is called Life, Love, Loss, Lessons From My Dog.
Speaker: Because I feel like my Maltese,
Speaker: allows me... You say Maltese, what does that mean?
Speaker: My Maltese dog.
Speaker: Oh, the dog.
Speaker: The brand.
Speaker: I was going to say the breed.
Speaker: I'm thinking about like the islands and the Maltese.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: The breed.
Speaker: So she has taught me to live life.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Now what I mean by that is when she wakes up in the morning, she stretches, she looks at me, she wants a hug or a kiss.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: She then needs to go outside and she's looking around and everything going on.
Speaker: And then she decides to come in and maybe there's some food for her.
Speaker: But this process of her day, that is her life.
Speaker: So first of all, she only has a smaller amount of time on this planet than us.
Speaker: So that makes me think of why are we here?
Speaker: What are we going to do with this time?
Speaker: We're very fortunate.
Speaker: We don't have 15 years.
Speaker: We have 90 years if we're lucky.
Speaker: she is also incredibly present.
Speaker: All she's thinking about is the here and now.
Speaker: She is not in any way thinking, I wonder what I'm having for supper.
Speaker: She in no way is thinking, oh, I wonder if that dog from the other day still likes me.
Speaker: So life becomes very much about here and now and the present.
Speaker: And so that got me thinking to what is life.
Speaker: Now, we put something in the calendar to do this.
Speaker: Us as humans, we do need to think a little bit.
Speaker: We need to prepare.
Speaker: We can't just be that spontaneous.
Speaker: You know, we need to plan a few things ahead.
Speaker: But life is a time frame and a time frame of energy.
Speaker: That's how I see life.
Speaker: My dog's time frame of energy is very much the here and now.
Speaker: I, as a human, am aware that there's a 15, possibly 15 year period of that.
Speaker: How do I want her to expend her energy?
Speaker: Put that into yourself and look at your own time frame because again, big secret, we all die.
Speaker: Let's pretend we know when that's going to be.
Speaker: We can put a time frame on it and we can look at the energy that we want to expend.
Speaker: And one of the things I do is create energy circles.
Speaker: And you draw this on a piece of paper.
Speaker: You draw three circles, a smaller one, a slightly wider one, and a bigger one.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I decide how I want to spend my energy.
Speaker: So the middle bit is that important aspect.
Speaker: How do I want to spend most of my energy?
Speaker: And it gets less as you go out.
Speaker: You might think it's the other way, but it's not.
Speaker: That's the most important bit.
Speaker: And I look at it and say, I want to spend my energy today on serving and helping others.
Speaker: So I want to color that in with one big color of orange.
Speaker: But also today I'm supposed to make some phone calls of work.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That will be a little bit of an extra percent.
Speaker: That kind of needs to be my next circle.
Speaker: And then the, and it works out like that.
Speaker: And I look at that energy circle and I go, is that how I want to spend my day today?
Speaker: It's another form of living intentionally because that's what life is about.
Speaker: The timeframe of energy with intention.
Speaker: Timeframe of energy with intentions.
Speaker: And I like to live my life based off energy.
Speaker: you know, because they give us the mechanical things to do in a 3D reality, right?
Speaker: But then you have the quantum physics, you have 5D, and you have energy, high vibration.
Speaker: But I come to realize that when my energy was good and I'm in a high vibe and energy or kid like energy, or just in a nice space, the best things happen.
Speaker: For me, right?
Speaker: Everybody's energy is different.
Speaker: But then if you think about it, even when things are good around you,
Speaker: energy's not good it all comes down to energy yeah i was at a client house this morning and he was asking me how you doing are you checking in i was like how you doing he's like yesterday was tough it's not so well i guess the light is like life is great but mentally i was just off i got the best life i'm like
Speaker: energy.
Speaker: It's not his life.
Speaker: It's the energy that he's holding within based on what he's thinking.
Speaker: He's not present like your dog, right?
Speaker: Or for some reason, he's out of himself thinking about worst case,
Speaker: but it's his energy, it's not his life.
Speaker: So you can have the best life and your energy be off and you not feel the best.
Speaker: And so that's why I think living with intentions, time frame with your energy outflow and how you spend it and how you circulate it.
Speaker: And I think there should be things taught in schools about your energy.
Speaker: Well, do you know what?
Speaker: We're also, this other big secret is you can start again at any time of the day.
Speaker: It's called reset.
Speaker: And we can reset.
Speaker: Let's say something went badly for you and it was that first hour.
Speaker: You can actually reset.
Speaker: It doesn't need to affect your entire day because that's the problem.
Speaker: People say, have you had a bad day?
Speaker: Or maybe there was someone driving along that is beeping his horn because somebody did this at the supermarket and then before then he had an argument with his wife.
Speaker: OK, but he didn't need to continue that through the day.
Speaker: And we are responsible for resetting that energy because we have that energy that we're then putting out into the world.
Speaker: I don't want to be that person that, let's say somebody is rude to me.
Speaker: So I'm then in a bad mood and I go downstairs and I'm rude to the guy that's going to help me get my car.
Speaker: And then I'm rude to the person when I'm driving home and I'm driving erratically.
Speaker: I could have reset myself.
Speaker: I could have reset by saying, okay, actually, that person has just had something in their life that I don't know what's gone on.
Speaker: Is that going to come into my world?
Speaker: And so again, all these tools that I have, there are various exercises to even understand that.
Speaker: One of them is called Let It Go.
Speaker: So if you draw on a piece of paper a little stick man on the top of a mountain and you draw off that these lines and whatever you're feeling right then at that moment, write it on those lines because it gets it out of you.
Speaker: So let's say someone was just rude to me.
Speaker: I draw that stick man and I could write that really wasn't fair or I didn't do anything wrong or whatever it is.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Scrumple it up.
Speaker: It's done.
Speaker: I'm resetting myself.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Again, living with an intentional purpose, do not take that on.
Speaker: Yeah, and the thing is we live in a past a lot and in those moments, because for some people, I realize sometimes the biggest problem is their biggest priority, but it gives them life.
Speaker: Because like I said, we don't want to suppress.
Speaker: We want to keep going because that gives us life.
Speaker: But some people like to be in a misery or being in negativity because they're giving life.
Speaker: So if it's too positive, too good to be true,
Speaker: something's wrong right it's like reverse psychology but for you you know as we're wrapping up i just i have two questions uh the first one is what's working for you right now and the second one uh is what is your biggest challenge or struggle that you might have with the business or yourself so right now the flow of where i'm at is is unbelievable it's beautiful
Speaker: this essence that I'm in and this space.
Speaker: And so what I'm doing at the moment is allowing that to happen.
Speaker: So I used to be someone that would fill my schedule, my calendar, I'd have lots of things.
Speaker: I was also in an industry that you are constantly fighting for things, fighting, fighting, fighting.
Speaker: This industry, there is no fighting.
Speaker: So I have made an intentional choice to leave an industry to bring myself to a place where I can allow flow.
Speaker: And therefore I know that my purpose, my reason for being, my being of service is naturally happening because it's flowing.
Speaker: Without me even doing anything.
Speaker: Because you're allowing it to be what it is.
Speaker: Letting it happen.
Speaker: And the feeling of not having to prove myself.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: because I know in my heart this is what I know all of this stuff I say it's just pouring out of me there's a there's a flow that's coming through me and I'm a conduit at the moment and I'm allowing that so that is the magical place I live the struggle the struggle of what that is I would say
Speaker: interesting one, a struggle of something happening.
Speaker: I suppose that would only be in the sense of we're in a world that feels quite dichotomous at the moment with people being in the angry place and people being in the flow.
Speaker: And so for me, breaking across that, but again, I don't feel it's a struggle for me because I feel like
Speaker: It's happening so organically that these metaphysical doors are opening up, allowing those people just to see the light and they're seeing it through me and my behavior.
Speaker: I had this wonderful message today on my dog's Instagram, because of course every dog in Hollywood has to have an Instagram, from somebody from my past.
Speaker: And it was just a lovely message to the dog.
Speaker: Obviously they know I run it.
Speaker: And I thought, wow, I am touching somebody and reaching somebody because my energy, and that is across the board and 6,000 miles away, is being seen.
Speaker: So I feel like as long as I can continue to do this, there won't be a struggle.
Speaker: Oh,
Speaker: I do know one struggle.
Speaker: I know one struggle.
Speaker: It's actually because of what I'm doing and going through.
Speaker: And you mentioned it the other day, earlier on, the healing of the soul with somebody.
Speaker: So it's actually by me being honest about this and talking about what I've gone through, especially in my childhood, that can open wounds of my family.
Speaker: And so the struggle of that at the moment is to understand that I don't want to hurt anybody.
Speaker: But this is a process I need to go through.
Speaker: And I think I realize in me telling that person no, however, you know, you might hurt a heart or heal a soul, is that your greatest fear increases your greatest faith.
Speaker: Because what happens is when I'm giving you the truth that I've been holding on for five years that I'm afraid to tell you, when I tell it, in the moment, it hurts, right?
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: but you transcend and transform into a whole nother being yourself.
Speaker: But what happens is like, as I, me gets the faith from giving the fear that I don't want to tell you, you get a new part of yourself that opens up a portal in you that you didn't even know you had sitting in.
Speaker: And we can't control what those other people feel and take from it.
Speaker: And that's about, again, you knowing as long as you've come from a good place with intention, and this is helping not only yourself feel,
Speaker: But maybe the honesty in the world, maybe helping other people, then you have to have that faith.
Speaker: You got to have that faith.
Speaker: And everything is about faith.
Speaker: You got to have faith.
Speaker: So before we close out, where do we find you?
Speaker: How can we connect?
Speaker: I mean, if we want mind coaching or wellness coaching, like how can we find you?
Speaker: What's your Instagram?
Speaker: What's your email?
Speaker: You got new courses.
Speaker: Tell us all about it.
Speaker: So I have my website, which is medicinewithwords.com.
Speaker: And underneath that, I actually show some of my tools, but I also have workshops.
Speaker: So I have several workshops happening over the next few months.
Speaker: I have my Instagram, at medicinewithwords.
Speaker: I also have my own, which is Elizabeth underscore B underscore T. I have a TikTok, medicinewithwords.
Speaker: But the bigger thing is that once I have put in place this world book tour that I'm going to do, I'm actually running my workshops around the world in exchange for other people to be able to say, can you come to my bookstore?
Speaker: Maybe they could put me up for the night or maybe they'd like to take me out for a meal.
Speaker: And I'm doing an exchange with the world with my practical tools.
Speaker: So that journey is going to be being put out very soon.
Speaker: And I'm very excited about it.
Speaker: And I'm excited because I can tell you're in your flow energy because you said the book tour I'm going to do, i.e.
Speaker: I am opposed to I'm trying to do.
Speaker: You didn't even know.
Speaker: You just said I'm doing.
Speaker: So therefore it's happening.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: As you guys should see.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: So follow her.
Speaker: Go to her website, Medicine With Words.
Speaker: Sign up for the newsletter.
Speaker: Yes, the newsletter.
Speaker: This is anything you want to share.
Speaker: Like, can you leave us with some inspiration and motivation or intentions for people to think about?
Speaker: You know, one of my favorite sentences at the moment is a quote from one of my favorite films that Robin Williams was in.
Speaker: Okay, I'm going to try and get it right.
Speaker: So I just put it in an article.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: To live would be an awfully big adventure.
Speaker: And I just think that is a beautiful phrase.
Speaker: To live would be an awfully good question.
Speaker: See, now I got another question.
Speaker: What is it to live?
Speaker: I guess that's another conversation, right?
Speaker: Well, do you know what?
Speaker: I'd love to have another conversation.
Speaker: So why don't you remember it?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: What it is to live?
Speaker: Maybe it will respond in like right things to you.
Speaker: And that could stimulate our next one.
Speaker: It'll be the next one.
Speaker: Well, Elizabeth, thank you.
Speaker: This was amazing.
Speaker: Thank you for sharing your power and your love and your joy.
Speaker: Intentions with words, medicine with words.
Speaker: Rediscovered your life.
Speaker: We out.
Speaker: This is another Bigger Talks episode.
Speaker: And stay tuned.
Speaker: Peace and love.
Speaker: We did it.
