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A Strong Family Foundation - Family Sermon Series
106 Plays2 years ago
Welcome back to Grove Hill Church! We're diving deep into the topic of building a strong family foundation. In a world that encourages self-centeredness, pride, and individualism, it's essential to examine our hearts and prioritize Christ in all our relationships. Whether it's within our homes, marriages, friendships, or workplaces, following God's design can bring greater peace, joy, and satisfaction.We'll discuss the importance of sacrificial love, putting others first, and creating a loving community. We'll explore how marriages built on the right foundation can provide hope and confidence through Christ, while marriages without a strong foundation can lead to loss of faith, hope, and even sanity. And hey, single folks, don't tune out just yet! The principles we discuss apply to all relationships, and we'll also touch on finding healthy connections and avoiding the notion that someone else can complete us.
Timestamps:
00:00:55 Rebellious children create chaos; relationships affect all aspects of life, not just family; caution for singles seeking completion in others.
00:05:29 Marriage's significance lost; generation Z shows disinterest.
00:08:16 Jesus elevated women to new levels, promoting equality.
00:11:34 Father absence leads to crime and imprisonment.
00:15:16 Schools are brainwashing kids with lies. Drag queens control story hours. Government pays for it. Witchcraft promoted and embraced.
00:17:20 45% use devices for inappropriate relationships. Parents responsible for monitoring devices and setting boundaries. Media influences dating and relationships negatively. Church also has problems.
00:20:00 Questioning God's word, planting seeds of doubt.
00:22:45 New Testament describes slaves and bond servants.
00:27:56 Crucify flesh, consider others, avoid selfishness.
00:30:06 Parent sacrifices authority for kids' relationship with Jesus.
00:35:53 Marriage needs Christ as foundation, not individuals.
00:39:06 Marriage cracks, renew commitment to spouse and God.
00:40:45 Don't worry, come pray, be transformed.
00:43:23 Grace, mercy, fulfillment, peace: embrace Jesus for all.
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Transcript
Introduction to Family Series
00:00:00
Speaker
Before we jump into the message this morning, I wanna kinda go ahead and give you a cautionary word. We are beginning a series on the family today. It will go for the next five weeks. I think God has some critical things he wants to show us and teach us about our families and where we are as a culture with our families and where we are as a church with our family. But immediately when you say family,
00:00:29
Speaker
A lot of people begin to tune out because you think to yourself, oh, my family's good, we're okay. And it is for now, right? But all it takes is a moment's sacrifice of stupidity, a moment of challenge financially, economically, relationally in your relationship that causes you to turn against each other, a moment of rebellion out of your children can create chaos in your home,
00:00:59
Speaker
And so there's lots of reasons why things like this are important. What we're going to hear this morning is the beginning to this series is that in the relationships that we have in our home, we find a lot of truths that deal with all the relationships in all of our life, not just inside our families, not just inside our marriages and our relationship to our kids.
Completeness in God, Not People
00:01:20
Speaker
So what I don't want you to do, this is the word of caution, I don't want you to check out because you're single.
00:01:25
Speaker
because single people have relationships that reflect what goes on in marriages and in homes and in things of that nature. And you may be looking for that person out there that's gonna complete you. Can I just go ahead and tell you, they're not there. There is no such thing as a person who completes you, only God can complete you, okay? But what you find is governing guidelines from your life, from the scriptures that teach us a little bit about
00:01:53
Speaker
what we would be looking for if we were looking for somebody to come alongside us in a relationship. Some of the things I'm going to say today may be unpopular. That's okay. That's not why I'm here to be popular. If I wanted to be a popular person, no, I won't say it.
00:02:10
Speaker
If you're young and you may be going, you know what? I'm not even at the stage of being a person who's looking for a relationship. So I'm not looking to get married at this point or whatever. Let me encourage you. Benjamin Franklin once said, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. And what he was basically saying is if you will look to do things right from the very beginning, you find you'll save yourself a whole lot of heartache in the end because you don't have to remedy problems that you created for yourself.
00:02:36
Speaker
What you're going to hear over and over again today, especially, but throughout the series, is that God has a design for things. And what we find throughout culture is that when we follow God's design, we find much greater peace, much greater joy, much greater satisfaction in those things. When we don't follow God's design, which we've been doing for more than four thousand, six thousand years now, we get a mess on our hands, right? We see the mess around us.
00:03:05
Speaker
So stay engaged, stay in tune. You may pull from things. You may be surprised where this series takes us over the next five weeks. You may be surprised that that sermon you thought I was going to preach to your husband was actually meant for you. Or maybe that in this moment, this season of your life, all the problems you thought were based on something else out there is actually something going on in here.
00:03:32
Speaker
The truth is that most marital problems aren't marital relational problems, they're sin problems. And God's Word brings us back to this reality over and over again. We're going to be at Ephesians 5, 21. We'll get there eventually, but we're going to kind of set some ground works for foundations for the families as part of this series.
Patterns of Family Demise
00:03:49
Speaker
I want to share with you the guy's name, a guy by the name of Carl Zimmerman. As I was doing my research, I found this guy's name. He's a Harvard sociologist who was very popular, well-known back in the 1930s and 1940s. And in 1947, he wrote a book based on a study. He entitled the book Family and Civilization.
00:04:08
Speaker
His study discovered eight patterns of demise in families that was consistent all the way through with every empire or kingdom that fell. He went back like through the Persians, the Babylonians, the Greeks, the Romans, and he looked at all these empires and as they imploded from the inside, he determined that there were all kinds of patterns that were detected in the families that were part of those culture. Number one,
00:04:37
Speaker
Marriage loses its sacredness and is frequently broken by divorce. Sound familiar? In case you're wondering about that, these are the latest statistics. 40 to 50% of first marriages in our country today end in divorce. Second marriages end at a rate of 60 to 70%.
00:04:58
Speaker
And the reason I think that's the case, follow me on this, and this is true with all kinds of brokenness and sinfulness in our lives, that when you get married, every single one of us go into a marriage with the idea, oh, I would never divorce this person. I would go to the ends of the earth to have them. They are my one and I'm going to be with them forever. But when we get to that place where we're struggling and things are really, really intense and the world is against us,
00:05:23
Speaker
We would never, ever, ever anticipate it, but we crossed that line. We said we never would and we get divorced. Well, once that's done once, it becomes easier to do it the second time and the third time and the fourth time. It's true with any sin, but it's also true with divorce. I'm not here to talk about the rightness or wrongness of your divorce. What I'm here to talk about is how do we look at marriage?
00:05:46
Speaker
Do we see it as an inconvenience? Latest studies tell us that Generation Z says that 48% of Generation Z sees marriage as an out-of-date tradition, an out-of-date tradition, and out of those 40-something percent, 85% of them say they don't anticipate ever getting married. It's an alarming number, and it speaks to our
00:06:10
Speaker
loss of sacredness over the act of marriage itself. By the way, I'm just going to be cautious of you cautioning you. There's eight of these and I could preach a sermon about any one of the eight. So just hang on. Number two, the traditional meaning of the marriage ceremony is lost. Now, this is going to probably alarm some of you, but let me get through it before I get it. You ever notice today how many marriages don't take place in a church?
00:06:35
Speaker
We find venues, we find cool scenery outside, we go to a place. I'm not saying it's sinful. My daughter got married in my backyard three years ago, okay? So if there's sin in it, I did it. What I am saying is that we have somehow moved what is a sacred commitment before God over to what is a different setting. And I wonder if primarily it's not because we think that's a sacred place as much as it is, I want my wedding to be unique and cool.
00:07:04
Speaker
I want it to be different than everybody else's. And just being in a church is just so traditional. Which, by the way, why is tradition such a bad word? Traditions guide us where we are. And I'm not saying there's some traditions that need to be broken, like that whole Rocky Top thing. Just kidding. I just need to make sure you're all paying attention. But don't start cursing me in the back now.
00:07:32
Speaker
I think sometimes we have lost the reality that what we're doing is not some kind of celebration of us. What we're celebrating as an institution God gave us and it is a vow we're making before him. And so right up from the very beginning, we're stepping into marriage with an idea that our marriage is different than everybody else's and it's not. God's got one design for every marriage that he wants us to follow. Number three, the feminist movements will abound. Hear me.
00:08:01
Speaker
The Church of Jesus Christ has never ever stood for anything but equality between men and women. If you go back to the times that the New Testament were written, women were basically seen as products that men owned. They were servants to their men. So the idea that Jesus talked to women elevated them to a level they had never been elevated before.
00:08:24
Speaker
The fact that he was bringing women up to that level was radical. And ever since the church has been pushing for equality of women. What do we mean by that? Women are just as important to God as men are. But you are not the same thing as a man. Nor is a man the same thing as a woman. They were created to be two uniquely different things. And so there's a problem when a woman tries to be what a man was created to be and when a man tries to be what a woman was created to be.
00:08:55
Speaker
Now, again, I understand, look, for those of you who don't know me, I was a single dad for three and a half years. I get that there are circumstances that push us into those situations. I had to learn to do the cinnamon rolls all by myself. I had to learn to put a ponytail in my daughter's hair, which was quite an experience. But there's a reason why God created the design of a family to be a certain way. And what feminists are doing is trying to unravel all of that and elevate women above men.
00:09:22
Speaker
and to shatter those roles that were created by God. Number four, there is an increased public disrespect for parents and for authority in general.
Shifts in Marriage and Gender Roles
00:09:32
Speaker
You want to know why American kids are burning down the streets of our cities? Because they haven't been taught at home to respect authority. We got too many parents who are working hard to be best friends to their children. That is not your given role as a parent.
00:09:49
Speaker
Your role as a parent is not to befriend your child, it is to lovingly guide and lead them with the authority that God has given you. And when you stop doing that, that's when we have problems. There's an increased public disrespect. And if you don't believe this, here's a test for you. Go home this afternoon with a really open heart, pray before you do it, turn on Disney Channel or Nickelodeon for three hours.
00:10:15
Speaker
You will not see an example of a strong, good father in the household. Every dad is portrayed as some buffoon that needs his child to rescue him from stupidity. Go through and think about your kids' favorite shows and how these families are portrayed. The parents aren't the strong figures that guide their kids. They're sometimes at best portrayed as just another one of the kids, or at worst, some idiot that needs the rescue of the genius child to come along and help them.
00:10:44
Speaker
And if you don't think there's an agenda going on there, then come sit down and take me to donuts and I'll be happy to explain to you where you're absolutely off base with this. We have been brainwashed by an entire culture that tells us this is acceptable. God's word says it's not. Number five, there is an acceleration of juvenile delinquency, promiscuity, and rebellion.
00:11:07
Speaker
Just this past week, I was listening to a sermon by my friend, Vodie Baucom. If you have never listened to Vodie Baucom preach, go find him on YouTube. He's amazing. Vodie Baucom is a young, well, he's not young anymore. He's my age. He's a black pastor. He and I befriended each other in seminary years ago. And the reason I classified him as black is I want you to hear what he's saying. Right now in the black community, 75% of the kids are growing up without dads.
00:11:32
Speaker
75%, three out of every four. Now here's where that becomes a problem. Tony Evans, famous black pastor in Dallas, Texas said this, God created the home so that the father is put there to love all over his daughters and make his son tow the line to teach him how to be a man.
00:11:50
Speaker
The mother is put in the home so that she can love all over her son and give him compassion and kindness and teach the daughters how to be a godly woman. And when you remove a father from the home, what you have is the crime rate, the prison rate we see going on in the community, specifically in the black culture. It's not because we are a racist culture, it's because the black community has had dads removed for centuries, literally. And so these boys are raised up without any kind of godly role model in their home.
00:12:19
Speaker
You watch any kid, watch any kid who plays pro sports, put a camera in his face. What's he going to do? He's going to say, thank you, mom. Love you, mom. Thank you, grandma, for raising me. Very seldom do you hear them acknowledge that there was a dad there to do anything for them. And many of them, if you go and look at some of these great coaches that are making a difference, they will acknowledge the coach as being the male figure in their life that's made a difference for them.
00:12:47
Speaker
We disrupt God's plan and we pay the consequences.
Outsourcing Family Responsibilities
00:12:51
Speaker
There's a refusal of people with traditional marriages to accept the family responsibility. You have kids and then you turn them over to the government to raise them. You have kids, you turn them over to the church and say, teach them what it means to follow Jesus. You get married. We don't take care of our wives. We don't love our husbands the way we should. We're gonna be getting into that all over the next few weeks.
00:13:15
Speaker
Number seven, there is a growing desire of acceptance and of adultery. That's a horrible thing we see going on in places like New York and LA and Las Vegas, right? Right now in Spring Hill, Tennessee, there are two Facebook pages where swingers are being advertised. Right up the road. Couples that are looking for other couples to do what God said was never right to do.
00:13:44
Speaker
and we've accepted this, we've allowed this to come. And guys, let me just remind you, this isn't far, far away. It's right here on our doorstep. Number eight, there's an increasing interest in spread of sexual perversions and sex-related crimes. And we're gonna get into all of this a little bit more. The amazing thing about those eight things, and the reason I started with that error today is I want you to hear this. That man predicted our culture 80 years ago.
00:14:11
Speaker
He would predict to where we would be. What we just talked about, we're seeing played out day by day in our news. Listen to this. Since 1950, 60 million babies have been murdered here in the United States of America. 60 million. Among those 60 million was the doctor that was gonna cure cancer. I'm under 60 million was the next great coach that was gonna have an impact on some young man's life.
00:14:40
Speaker
Among those 60 million was the great school teacher who would change dozens of lives because of her dedication to being such a great teacher. Among those 60 million was the next great president because the Lord knows we're overdue for one. The rise of feminism has told women that motherhood only hinders their careers and destroys their bodies. The sexual revolution has run on unchecked.
00:15:09
Speaker
and no-fault divorce is climbing at a rapid rate and keeping our lawyers' offices busy. Schools are brainwashing our kids and feeding them lies about gender identity, gender dysphoria. Even right now in Washington DC, there are organizations who are lobbying for the reputation of pedophiles to be changed to a more positive outlook. Let's quit calling them pedophiles. Let's call them minor attracted persons so we don't look so negatively at those poor people.
00:15:40
Speaker
drag queens are dominating our story hours, and what's amazing even more than just that reality is that our government's actually paying for this. And let's don't forget this reality. Just this week, two young ladies in our congregation shared with my wife that at an I Heart Chapel Hill, lest you think it's all far away, on I Heart Chapel Hill, two women came on advertising a desire to meet up with other women who wanted to practice witchcraft together.
00:16:11
Speaker
And within a matter of minutes, there were more than 19 responses from women in this area saying, I'd love to dabble with you. Guys, you don't dabble with the devil. You don't play with the enemy. And that's exactly what we're doing. Now, before we get all fired up and say, what about those people? What do we do? How do we fix this? Our job is not to live in fear of our culture. Our job is to change the culture.
00:16:35
Speaker
Our job is to live with boldness. We build walls around our cities to protect us from the enemy, but that doesn't stop us from fighting the battle. We build walls around our homes to protect our children and our wives and our relationships there, but we still keep taking the offensive to them to let them know that the gospel of Jesus Christ has the power to change all these things for them. God's design for marriage and relationships is being attacked by these guys.
00:17:04
Speaker
Tinder is being used by the young right now to practice in casual sex on social media. Pew Research Center released a new study just recently that says 95% of the teenagers in America have a smartphone. And 45% of those in that same study admitted to using them for private interactions and romantic relationships that they were not to be involved in.
00:17:31
Speaker
If you read the news like I do, what you see is that literally, no exaggeration, every single day there's a headline where a coach or a teacher or somebody on a staff at a school has had an inappropriate relationship with a young child using their cell phone. Parent, can I just tell you something? There's nothing in the Bible or the Constitution that says that your child needs a device. Nothing.
00:17:55
Speaker
If you want to give your child a device, then you have a responsibility as a parent to give them direction, to screen that device,
Aligning Relationships with God's Design
00:18:04
Speaker
to have every single password that's on it, and to tell them you don't have the right to go wherever you want to on this device for your own safety.
00:18:17
Speaker
This generation is dating, flirting, marrying, having babies, getting married, establishing households, all based on rules that have been established by hookup apps, social media, and raunchy reality TV. No wonder we're such a mess. But the church has its own issues. Right now we have popular preachers who deliver messages, mixed messages about relationships, about genders, about sexuality. They're more concerned about preaching for popularity than they are preaching about Jesus Christ.
00:18:48
Speaker
But here's the thing. If you, I put out the responsibility, if you will be brave enough to live according to God's design, it won't make any difference what the preachers are preaching. Because you're the ones that are going to change this country. The country's not going to change because I get up here and deliver some fiery oratory on a Sunday morning and for 30 minutes inspire you. The world's going to change because you choose to be a different family.
00:19:16
Speaker
The world's gonna change because you choose to make your marriage stand out from all the others. Your world is gonna change because you choose to be like Christ Jesus in all of your relationships. And that's the way it was always intended to be from the very beginning. It won't be just preachers who are making an impact, it will be devoted followers of Jesus Christ. Now, let me remind you, our opponent is a worthy opponent.
00:19:42
Speaker
Genesis three one. Now the serpent was, what does it say? The most cunning of all the wild animals. Guys, he's a worthy adversary. And what's so smart about him is he keeps it simple. He's been using the same technique for thousands of years to go after people like you and me. He did it with Adam and Eve. He's still doing it today. He asked this one simple question of Eve. Did God really say?
00:20:09
Speaker
Is that really what God meant in this word? Surely God didn't mean that. Are you sure you can count on God? Maybe you misunderstood him. And so when he puts those seeds of doubt in it, if we don't do something to take out the doubt and restore the faith, then we buy into those lies and we go down a trail that God never intended for us.
00:20:30
Speaker
We have to stay aware of our culture, but we can't be afraid of it. What we have to seek with a single-minded devotion is God's design for all the plans He has for us. We know what works. It's God's design. What never changes? God's design. What do we return to when we sin again and again and again? God's design. What is the solution to all the lies about our marriages?
00:21:01
Speaker
You're picking up very quick. I have a bright crowd this morning, good job. You see, if you want a strong marriage and home, you have to have the right foundation, and that's where we're gonna start today, because before God will change your wife, change your husband, change your children, or change your home, He has to change you. So, surprise. The sermon this morning is not about your spouse. It's not about your kids. It's about you.
00:21:31
Speaker
Ephesians chapter five, verse 21, one simple verse this morning. Will you read it together with me from the screen? Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ. I would argue that if you go home and memorize that very simple verse and begin to live it out, you'll start to see changes in all of your relationships, not just your marriage. But let's talk about this. How do we lay a right foundation for our families? Number one,
00:22:01
Speaker
Ask the question, how do you view yourself? We start there because this is about submission. It's about being a willing servant. And surprisingly, most of us don't know this because of what has become biblical illiteracy in our churches. But submission is what Christ asked out of every single one of us. And not just in our marriages, but in every relationship we have.
00:22:24
Speaker
If you read the Bible carefully, God commands through Paul that as citizens we submit ourselves to governmental authorities.
00:22:32
Speaker
He asked us that we submit ourselves to leaders in the church, elders in the church. He asked that we submit ourselves to his word. He asked that we submit our desires to him. Over and over again, he talks about us submitting ourselves. In fact, if you read the New Testament carefully, what you see is letters written from guys who over and over again describe themselves as slaves and bondservants of God. This was a radical way to consider themselves because in Ephesus where Paul was writing this letter to,
00:23:02
Speaker
They celebrated pride, they celebrated ego, they celebrated individualism, and they celebrated self-glorification. Does that sound familiar? Guys, we have a multi-billion dollar advertising industry in our country that caters to this very mentality. Go home and watch TV for a few minutes this afternoon and don't be surprised when you hear the question, don't you deserve this?
00:23:32
Speaker
Shouldn't you have this? If you're not getting this, is your life complete? And it's always about me, me, me, and it comes down to this one question that the world keeps wanting us to ask, what's in it for me? And if that's the way you're approaching any of your relationships, much less your marriage relationship, you are from the very get-go setting yourself up for failure in that relationship.
00:24:00
Speaker
Before Paul can instruct us about any relationship, we have to deal with our own hearts. How do we see ourselves? The question we've got to ask is, who am I supposed to submit to? And how am I supposed to submit? What does this look like? No one, no one is self-made. So this morning, if you think you're that guy, sorry to deflate your balloon. There is no such thing as a self-made man or self-made woman.
00:24:29
Speaker
It's just another lie that the enemy tries to feed us. In fact, the world will say that self is the priority while God says self is the problem. Self is the problem. And guys, let me just say this to you right now. And when I say guys, I literally mean guys, if your home is a mess and if your home is in chaos, if your home has brokenness, if your home is out of whack and doesn't feel like it should, it's your fault.
00:24:59
Speaker
It's your fault. Didn't expect to get a whole lot of amens there, but one might have been okay. Wives, do not punch your husband. Do not shove him with your elbow. That's my job. You pray for him. But guys, if your home is a mess, it's because you're not doing what you were asked to do as the leaders of your home. You are given the assignment of being prophet, priest, and king. And when the prophet, the priest, and the king are doing what they're supposed to do, the home is given the order that it needs.
00:25:30
Speaker
But here's the thing. Here's the thing. When we talk about a prophet, priest, and king, we talk about people who actually look out for the betterment of others more than they do themselves. James 4.1 puts it this way. He says, what is the source of wars and fights among you? Don't they come from your passions that wage war within you? He says, the very reason you're having all the conflict is because you're spending so much time worried about yourself.
00:25:58
Speaker
seeking your own desires, seeking your own pleasures. And I'm here to tell you today that no Christian home was designed to operate that way. No Christian home. In fact, I will tell you that God will not bless a home that operates without him. You're going, well, wait a minute.
00:26:18
Speaker
I know that there are people out there who have ungodly marriages and they're doing just fine. I mean, look at all the celebrities that have all that they want, everything that they desire, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Just this past week, an article in a major headline in a newspaper, the headline said, The Summer of Separation. And the article was about the fact that more than a dozen celebrity marriages are coming to an end this summer. Very popular people, names that you would recognize. One of them was Sofia Figueira. Is that how you say it?
00:26:49
Speaker
Sure, sounds great. That's Sophia Chick. She's getting a divorce, and as part of the interview with her in the newspaper, she said, I walked away from the marriage because I found that he wasn't what I was looking for. Have you ever wanted to scream at a newspaper? Because I wanted to yell at Sophia, Sophia, darling, he can't be, no one can be, Jesus is what you're looking for.
00:27:15
Speaker
Jesus is what's going to give you peace Jesus is what's going to fulfill your life and bring completion to all this for you Husband if you're sitting there today, and you're saying if my wife would just do this. I'd be a nicer man Or wife if you're sitting there saying if my husband would just act like this I would love him more than you are an enemy of God in that moment Jeremy you are an enemy of God why I
00:27:44
Speaker
because Christians don't fight for self. Christians fight for others.
The Importance of Selflessness in Family
00:27:51
Speaker
We lay ourselves down. Our flesh is strong. It's really strong. And that's why the Bible tells us over and over again to crucify the flesh and to kill the attitude. In fact, in Philippians, Paul writing once again says this,
00:28:09
Speaker
He says, don't do anything out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility, consider others more important than you consider yourself. That's the Christian way. Not only we have to ask how do we view ourselves, you have to ask the question, how do we view others? How do we view others?
00:28:32
Speaker
We ask the question sometimes, okay, if we're looking out for everybody else, and if we're really submitting to each other, then who's the one in charge around here? Who is in authority? It seems like it would lead to mass chaos, kind of like when you put all six of your family members in the minivan and say, where are we going to dinner? And there's this long ensuing conversation that goes on and on and on and on until finally one of the parents screams, McDonald's, fine, we're just going to McDonald's.
00:29:01
Speaker
But God does give us order. And here's what's so interesting about it. He says, if you're primarily concerned with others, then we are subjected to one another out of fear for Christ. So a father who heads his home but is subject to Christ is also subject to the requests and needs of his wife. In other words, he doesn't say, what do I need? He says, what can I do to make her life what it needs to be? In fact, let me put it to you this way.
00:29:28
Speaker
Your marriage wasn't given to you for happiness. It was given to you both for holiness. If I'm doing my job as a husband, then I'm elevating her to the place that God wants her to be. I'm making her better. I'm making her stronger. I'm making her more complete and finished and more like Christ Jesus. I'm refining her and she's doing the same thing for me.
00:29:50
Speaker
And this extends to every relationship we have in Christ Jesus. It's a friendship, it's a brotherhood, it's a sisterhood. If we are doing what Christ command is, if we're looking out for other people, then a wife who has strong opinions, she lays them down for others betterment. A parent who has ultimate authority over her kids is willing to set aside that authority long enough to say, you know what, let's make a sacrifice so our kids can know Jesus better in this moment.
00:30:17
Speaker
The Godly Father says, I must make decisions that bless my wife and my kids because ultimately I am the one who is responsible and I will stand before God accountable for the condition of my home. So he asked the question, how do I best serve my family's needs? The others focused way of life sets the stage for blessed relationships. And here's the beauty of God's economy.
00:30:40
Speaker
If I'm more concerned about you and you are more concerned about me, what results is the kind of loving community that God wants us to be a part of. If I'm more worried about you getting closer to Christ Jesus and you're more worried about me getting closer to Christ Jesus, God does this really incredible thing that we can't really explain by human terms. I mean, literally, literally.
00:31:03
Speaker
If I'm looking out for my friend Nick on the front row and I'm giving 100% of who I am to him to make him a better brother in Christ, God takes that. He multiplies it. He sends it back to me better than I sent it out to Nick. The Bible puts it this way. A good measure pressed down, shaken together, flowing over. It will come back on every single wave to you. So ladies, you want to make your husband a better lover? Out love him.
00:31:32
Speaker
Husbands, you want to make your wife a better servant, then out-serve her. You want to teach your kids how to be respectful and obey? Beat their rear end. But let's learn how to outdo each other and love Christ's love for one another. 1 Corinthians 7 3 has an interesting take on this.
00:31:57
Speaker
It's a unique situation. It's talking about the healthy nature of biblical intimacy. It says, a husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife and likewise a wife to her husband. A husband must fulfill his duty to his wife and likewise a wife to her husband. You see, neither has authority over his own body. Now, this isn't popular in a world that screams, my body, my choice. But once again, the world never, never indicated it was trying to follow God's plan.
00:32:28
Speaker
So what Paul's literally saying is that when I enter into a marriage relationship with this young lady on the front row, I say to her, everything I am is offered to you so that you can be elevated closer to Christ. And likewise, she says back to me, let me show you how it's really done because I can outdo you and I can make you closer to Christ better and you can make me closer to Christ. And then we begin to love each other the way God really intended.
00:32:56
Speaker
If you're experiencing brokenness in your relationships, not just inside the home, but if you're experiencing brokenness in your relationships, your family, your marriage, your friendships, your work partnerships, your parenting, then I would encourage you to look very closely at your heart for a virus that haunts many of us. It's called transactional love. If you do this, then I'll do that. It's not what Jesus did.
00:33:25
Speaker
Jesus didn't say, if you obey me, then I'll come die for you. He said, I'll die for you and then you can decide whether or not you want to receive that. So speaking of Jesus, the third question is this. How do you view Christ? How do you view Christ? If you haven't paid attention to this point and you don't have a relationship with Jesus Christ, can I encourage you just to listen for the next five minutes? Because I'm promising you that what you're going to find in this relationship with Jesus is like nothing you've ever known.
Foundation of Christ in Relationships
00:33:58
Speaker
Nothing you've ever known. You see, in Christ Jesus, when you have a healthy fear of Him, you submit to others not because you want something from them, but because you want something for them. It's not to get them to love you back. It's done because you love Christ. And that's it. That's enough. There's the period right there. There's no comma. The biblical foundation for a healthy marriage is not two people who are super attracted to each other, even though that's cool. I want your husband to look at you and say, man, she's hot.
00:34:29
Speaker
And I want the women to look at their husbands and say, he's got a great dad bod. See, I didn't raise the bar too high there. Take what you get, right? No, seriously, it's cool that you love each other in that way. And that's fine that you look and you enjoy looking at your spouse, but it's more about two people who are so in love with Jesus.
00:34:53
Speaker
As they follow Jesus, they spot each other on the journey. And he looks at her and says, you know what? I like the way you run after Christ. And she looks at him and says, you know what? I love your passion for the Savior. And what's really cool is that the more they grow closer and closer to him, the closer and closer they grow in their union. That's what it means. And it says the two will become one in Christ Jesus.
00:35:20
Speaker
But if the relationship is built on anything else, it will fail. And here's why that's important. All of you need to hear this, married people. If your relationship isn't built on God, there will come a day when there will be only one of you. I have buried my father. I have buried my mother. I have buried my mother-in-law. In 38 years,
00:35:48
Speaker
done the funerals for lots of people who've gone on and left behind a spouse. And the one thing I can tell you for sure, the marriages that were built on the right foundation, the surviving spouse walked away with a hope and a confidence that only Christ can explain. But the ones who didn't have it lost their faith, lost their hope, literally sometimes even lost their sanity.
00:36:15
Speaker
because they have spent their entire life built on a relationship with someone who is a mortal being and who can't possibly do what Christ could do for them. Single person, let me just say this to you before we close today. Christ must be the foundation of every relationship, including the one you hope to have someday with a man or a woman.
00:36:43
Speaker
It must be the foundation. No person can ever complete you, but even more importantly, when one of you has to slow down in your pursuit of Christ, because you have to slow down and let the other person catch up, you're setting yourself up for an accident. So hold out for that person.
00:37:03
Speaker
Hold out for the right one who's at the right place in their relationship with Jesus. Pursue that person who has already begun a pursuit of God.
Seeking God-Centered Partnerships
00:37:11
Speaker
What you desire is not someone who will look you in the eyes and say, babe, you're beautiful, but somebody who looks you in the eyes and says, you matter less to me than he matters to me. That's the only way they'll ever love you like you deserve. Now, back to those of you who don't have a real relationship with Jesus Christ.
00:37:31
Speaker
And I'm always very careful to say a real relationship because many of us have bought into the lie that religion and tradition is a relationship with Jesus and it's not. If you don't have a real relationship with Jesus Christ, I implore you to consider who he is and what he has done for you. In fact, I would argue this. If I had the ability and the power right now to just pull back
00:37:56
Speaker
The veil of eternity and show you 15 seconds of what hell would look like every single one of us would be at this altar Every single one of us Because eternity without Christ is something you don't want to experience So here's how we're gonna close today this is how we're bringing this whole thing to an end a Little bit different because the whole morning's been different
00:38:25
Speaker
I'm gonna invite some of you to have the courage to stand up and just to walk to this altar.
Committing to Christ and Family Renewal
00:38:32
Speaker
Not later when Matt comes to play the song, not while we're praying now. By coming what you may be saying is many things. You may be saying, hey, I'm a single person. And right now you've just reminded me that the biggest commitment I need to make is to Jesus Christ. So I'm committing myself that Jesus is the only thing I will fall in love with.
00:38:55
Speaker
And when I do, then I'll seek something else. Maybe some of you are saying, hey, my marriage isn't perfect and it needs work.
00:39:05
Speaker
It doesn't mean that you're about to fall apart. It doesn't mean anybody's necessarily called a divorce lawyer. And maybe, you know what, I just recognize there's some cracks in my marriage and I need to come up here. Now you're going, okay, but can I do this right here in the chair? Yes, you can. But if you go back and you trace all the way through scripture, what you find God is this. When he says something to us and puts an impression on our heart, the first thing he says is, I want you to do something so that you remember what it is you have done.
00:39:30
Speaker
Sometimes he tells them to make a covenant. Sometimes he tells them to build an altar. Sometimes he tells them to write it down. Sometimes he inspires them to write a song. I'm not inspiring you to write a song. I'm inviting you to come to the stage and take your spouse by the hand and say, I just want to renew my commitment to you and to God. Maybe there are some of you here this morning who would say, I need a relationship with Jesus and what you've talked about. You just described me. It's not a real relationship. It's just a tradition. I'm following.
00:39:59
Speaker
Maybe there's some of you out here today who say, you know what? I am lonely. Very, very lonely. You may be married, but you're still lonely. You may be single, but you're lonely. You may be divorced, but you're lonely. You may be one of those people who can walk into a crowded room and you feel like nobody there feels you, sees you, or knows you. You feel alone. Can I just tell you that you are in a church right now that's one of the most loving group of people I've ever been around?
00:40:26
Speaker
And if you're looking for somebody to love you, there's about 150 of them in here right now. And this church loves well, but it's because of what Jesus Christ has done in them and through them. So, I'm gonna quit talking. If God is leading you to move, you quit worrying about the people around you. Don't worry about what they think. You come to this altar, I will lead us in a prayer and then we'll be dismissed with a song.
00:41:54
Speaker
Father, I thank you that from the very beginning, when we walked through these doors this morning, you had a reason for us being here. You wanted to talk to us, you wanted to speak to us, you wanted to show us some things about ourselves, you wanted to teach us about some things that we've been missing.
00:42:20
Speaker
My prayer is that this morning we get it. That we understand that we're able to take what we have learned, apply it to our hearts and just walk away from here to some very different people because of it. I pray for marriages that right now are struggling because the man's too proud and too arrogant to admit that he needs your help. I pray for marriages where the woman
00:42:46
Speaker
If she's being honest, hasn't learned to live in submission to her husband, she's tried to rule over her husband. I pray for families where parents aren't doing their job as parents. I pray for kids who are living in rebellion. I pray for young adults who are settling for second best in their relationships. I pray for Christ followers who aren't very much following Christ right now.
00:43:18
Speaker
Lord, we thank you for the cross that gives us a second chance and a third chance and a fourth chance to come back over and over again and find that the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ is waiting for us every single time. Lord, we'll never be more, more than what you created us to be until we find out who you are. We'll never find that fulfillment until we embrace you
00:43:49
Speaker
We'll never find that peace that you promised until we embrace who you are.