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Episode 13 - (PREVIEW) Timbits are kind of screwed up when you think about it
39 Plays2 months ago
Tim Hortons! The Canadian cultural icon that has managed to spread its tentacles worldwide has an origin in scams and treachery from a man who wasn't even named Tim at all in his life. Here we will complain about a lack of menued vegetarian food options, the discontinuation of bread bowls, and a theatre play with an awful story.
You can follow along with the video at the start using this URL:
https://youtu.be/pGMWnmFtbqI
This is a Patreon-exclusive episode. If you wish to listen to it in its entirety, please support us!
https://patreon.com/shawiniganmoments
Shawinigan Moments is written and recorded on the unceded territories of the Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Stó:lō (Stolo), and Səl̓ílwətaʔ/Selilwitulh (Tsleil-Waututh) first nations in what is otherwise called Vancouver.
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Transcript
Introduction and Patreon Promotion
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello, you are listening to a bonus episode preview of the Schewinnegan Moments podcast. If you end up liking what you hear or you hate the start of this but still want to throw money at us anyway, visit patreon dot.com slash Schewinnegan Moments and for as little as the cost of a cup of coffee at Tim Hortons, you can get access to this and other bonus episodes plus entry to our Discord. Thanks and on with the show. All right, well, I have something to show you. Show me.
00:00:26
Speaker
So I was walking down Broad Street again and I saw this look in the thread. Oh, yeah. Yep.
Discussion of Leyla Yang's Online Presence
00:00:35
Speaker
Don't you love Leyla Yang? No. Like, seriously, every other... yeah You fuck up and don't watch something on your YouTube burner account once. And it's Leyla Yang every other video. The reason why this I took a photo of this is for two reasons. Number one, she still calls Twitter as Twitter. Based. As do we. And secondly, she's removed any mention of TEDxShaughnessy, rather. What?
00:01:07
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what the story is. Well, now let's have a look. Is she still in the speakers? Yeah, she's still listening to the speaker. Yeah. Maybe she just said, well, that's stale because it was from 2022. Like, I don't know what the story is really. That is true. That is true.
00:01:25
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. I feel like she's going to haunt me for as long as I live in this city. You're not the one who has Lele Yang fucking ads constantly. And like, you know how YouTube works, like when this hits YouTube, like there's just going to be end to end like Lele Yang ads.
00:01:45
Speaker
on our YouTube video. I think we've done more for Leila Yang than she has done for us. I feel like she should be paying us for all the free advertising we've been giving her, because surely our base audience is able to afford most of the homes she sells. Based upon the show that she tried to launch, I would characterize her as firmly in the camp of any publicity is good publicity. Potentially. Well, do you want to start? ah Yeah, sure.
00:02:20
Speaker
Oh, it's good to be back.
Meet Heather and Tamarack
00:02:25
Speaker
Hello, everybody. It's your winning moment. It says Tamarack and Heather. I'm Heather. I'm Tamarack, most of the time. My pronouns are they them, or it is.
00:02:36
Speaker
They, everybody knows our pronouns that they're listening to the bonus episode. Yeah, but I get the impression that much like in my personal life, people are somewhat thinking that it it's as a bit, it is not. No, it's legit pronoun for at people. He is ah more importantly, it's a legit pronoun I use. So like, God, people anyway.
Heather's London Adventure
00:02:56
Speaker
Well, I bet dollars to donuts that ah people would love to hear about my trip to London.
00:03:02
Speaker
Tamarack, I shared a video with you. I think we should watch and commentate it together. Hey, it's Heather in post-production. um There's a video that's in the show notes that you should be following along if you are listening to the audio only version of this. Just as soon as I say play, you can just go ahead and play it and you'll be able to see what I'm seeing as well as Tamarack is seeing. So three, two, one, play.
00:03:31
Speaker
So, yeah, I just took a vacation to London, you know, went to the fringe when I was in Edinburgh, came back to London for a few days and I went to Dublin to see family for about a week, I guess. And I decided to just take some B-roll shots of the London Underground. I see there were a lot of delays. I don't know what they were doing. Oh, hey. That's a deep level train.
00:04:01
Speaker
Yeah, they're cute. It's also like not air conditioned. So I went to Park Royal. What were you doing in Park Royal Heather? I went to a leisure park, the Royal Leisure Park.
00:04:18
Speaker
to get coffee. I was right. I was right. This place does look exactly like anywhere in the middle of like the interior B.C. Actually, it's all like no, no, no. It looks like somewhere around the fucking suburbs of Vancouver in some way. Yeah. OK, fair, fair, fair, fair, fair. There's towers like you saw the giant condo out there. But look at the menu. Vegetarian and vegan.
UK vs Canadian Tim Hortons
00:04:45
Speaker
Yeah, like, this is embarrassing that, um like, UK Tim Hortons is better at being a shitty coffee shop than it is better than Canadian Tim Hortons.
00:05:00
Speaker
The food is better. The coffee is better somehow. I don't know what the deal is. And I had a honey crueler, which I really like and it tasted better than the honey crueler can get at home.
00:05:14
Speaker
Well, they're probably not shipping just the the frozen pucks. Yeah. I don't know what this the situation is there, but they very much lean into the Canadian isms as you see here is Tim Horton. Yep. Who put a curse on the Leafs. Yeah. And I got myself a meal and you can see it's la labeled as vegetarian or might be, no, this one's vegetarian cause I got actual cheese.
00:05:38
Speaker
And then I came just in time for them to switch over from the breakfast menu to the lunch and dinner menu and they have burgers. Uh, I thought it was going to be the traditional, uh, the menu, one of the menu panels is broken. na That's what, that's what I'd fucking drive through. Yeah. It's empty. mean Nobody used it. Good grief.
00:06:05
Speaker
So yeah, you know, a friend of mine from Portugal joined me for, uh, for this trip. So she and I had a meal together and we walked back and took the London underground back or the, to that looks miserable oh was it was not a pleasant road to walk along. Has a bike path though. Yeah. And it also has, you know, public transportation options nearby at least. Yeah. That's, that's really what makes it more like suburbs of Vancouver.
00:06:35
Speaker
You could maybe find decent transit around. Yeah. Well, and it took me about 50 minutes to get out this way. Um, like there's no, there's about 60 Tim Orans locations in the UK now. And, but the funny thing is it's not my first time of going to a Tim Orans in Europe.
00:06:56
Speaker
I do go on. Well, they used to be in spar convenience stores, uh, in Dublin. or either in Ireland as a whole. So when I was in Ireland 10 years ago, I think they had them then and they're not they're not there anymore. like When I was back in Dublin, um I made a note to go check out a spar and like, no, they didn't have anything like that.
00:07:22
Speaker
But yeah, Tim Hortons is now an international brand, and I guess it's always been an and international brand because they're in the States, but the grand scheme of things are not that much different from the Canadian ones. I would say that the food is kind of shittier in some ways, but I don't know.
History of Tim Hortons
00:07:39
Speaker
i have I don't have a lot of but high expectations for Tim Hortons in general, but let's Let's introduce Tim Hortons a little bit more formally rather than talking about my vacation I took just a few months ago. Tim Hortons, officially Tim Hortons Incorporated, and notably Hortons is plural, is a Canadian coffee shop and quick service restaurant chain headquartered in Toronto with over 5,700 locations across
00:08:05
Speaker
13 countries. Originally founded in 1964 in Hamilton, Ontario by NHL player Tim Horton, lack the note of an S as Tim Horton donuts. um I had to say that.
00:08:21
Speaker
There's no apostrophe in the name Tim Horns, and I'll explain why. On the corner of Ottawa Street North and Dunsmere Road, it remained in his hands until his death in 1974. Today, it's part of Restaurant Brands International, or RBI as I will refer to it as, which also includes Burger King, Popeyes, and Firehouse Subs.
00:08:43
Speaker
however very annoyingly for how it you can say it's acronym uh not Arby's shut up however let's talk about Tim Horton and his hockey career and him opting to open a donut store on the side and what led to his death spoilers his death was not donut related
00:09:20
Speaker
So in band class, um, one of the songs that we played for, I think the ninth grade here was the hockey night in Canada theme. I was trying to figure out drops for things like this. And what I realized is we've never talked about a hockey player in the dozen or so episodes preceding this. It's true. I've mentioned the connect several times, but you cannot call what they, what they're doing playing hockey. No, they They play a game called making Heather depressed and stop watching the game in 2011 for some reason. And ruining your fantasy league team. Yep. ah For some people, yeah. So Miles Gilbert Tim Horton, Tim in is his nickname somehow, was born on January 12th, 1930 in Cochrane, Ontario, basically the middle of nowhere by Ontario standards to parents Ethel May and Erin Oakley Horton.
00:10:17
Speaker
He had one brother, Jerry, and his father was a mechanic for a Canadian national railway. In 1935, his parents moved to Duparquet, Quebec, just as much the middle of nowhere in Quebec near the Ontario border,
00:10:31
Speaker
back to Cochrane in 1938, and then his family moved to Sudbury in 1945. The latter being the basis for the fictional town of Letter Kenny of great TV fame. And I think it's on Hulu in the States for something. During this time, Tim developed his- I believe you mean the documentary Letter Kenny.
00:10:52
Speaker
You know, that show kind of got lousy after season seven, I'll have to admit. sosy guy I didn't, I didn't, I didn't watch it after I lost ability to view crave things. Yeah, that's fair. During this time, Tim developed his hockey skills and eventually found himself back playing hockey in Cochrane. However, by 1948, he was playing for the Copper Cliff Junior Redmond in a Northern Ontario hockey association. A scout for the Maple Leafs found him being the Toronto Maple Leafs, I should say.
00:11:21
Speaker
And he was assigned to play for the junior hockey feeder team, the St. Michael's Majors, which was the team for the school he was attending, St. Michael's College, located in Toronto. It's like Bathurst and St. Clair, not far from Casa Loma. This school has been rather successful in churning out not only hockey players, but also CFL and NFL football players.
00:11:41
Speaker
To this day, the school has an intensive athletics program and has its own goddamn ice arena. It's a fucking high school. Yeah, these still like these exist. I think there's a lot of like juicing high schools in in in the States for football in particular.
00:11:59
Speaker
But yeah, we got him, we got him too. We also have a toxic relationship with our sports. Yeah, it's great up here. Um, some of the players that have come out of the school, including Tim Hort include Bobby Bauer, three time lady bang trophy winner and two times Stanley cup winner. Also one war two veteran.
00:12:16
Speaker
Murray Costello, former NHL player and former president of Hockey Canada. Ted Lindsay, formerly a player of the Chicago Blackhawks and Detroit Red Wings, four-time Stanley Cup winner and founder of the first attempt at a predecessor to the now National Hockey League Players Association, which is featured in the 1995 movie Net Worth. It's actually a movie I've seen and then it's all right.
00:12:39
Speaker
Overall, 13 hockey Hall of Fame players, including Horton, have come out of the school since the hockey program began in 1907. It's also had the likes of Robert Deleuze, Porter Airlines founder, Sergio Marchione, former CEO of Fiat Chrysler and Ferrari, Frank Buckley, president of Buckley's cough syrup, Anthony Diorio, co-founder of Crypto Bullshit Ethereum, and former PMO director of media relations, Steven Licci,
00:13:09
Speaker
who served as Prime Minister Stephen Harper's Chief of Staff, and then later was MPP of Ontario, who introduced legislation which abused the Notwithstanding Clause to force teachers back to work. ah yeah Tim Horton Donuts has French pastry chefs worried. This Tim Horton croissants are not French, cheese but French.
00:13:35
Speaker
The Morton Croissant may not be French, but they're always fresh. Why? Because you keep eating there, but you keep helping me. No, you keep helping yourself.
00:13:53
Speaker
Almost enough of a cell phone that kind of gets a pass. I mean, it's such a cell phone that I think he died from shame. Anyway, 1949, Horton made his first NHL debut for one single game as a reserve player, no goals or assists, but ended up playing the rest of the 49-50 season in the American Hockey League, which is the minor league, and the 50-51 season for the Pittsburgh Hornets, amassing 5-8 goals and 8-26 assists in each respective season. He'd be called up for four more games for Toronto in the 51-52 season, no goals or no assists, but finally would be made a permanent player in 1952 for the Maple Leafs as a defenseman. During his time as a Leaf, he'd appear in seven All-Star games and would win four Stanley Cup championships, including the final year that Toronto would win said championship as of 2024,
00:14:47
Speaker
And the final one of the original six NHL teams, so being it that it was when any the NHL was the original six, and that would be Boston, Chicago, Toronto, Montreal, New York, and Detroit.
Ron Joyce and Franchise Expansion
00:14:59
Speaker
That's right. The Stanley Cup drought that Toronto's had since the late 60s, it's Tim Horton's fault.
00:15:05
Speaker
ah Yeah, that he's something of a phylactery for the Maple Leafs' Stanley Cup ambitions, and he unfortunately, it broke. Yeah, a name that has not come up as of yet is a man named Ronald Von Joyce.
00:15:22
Speaker
He moved from Tatamagoosh, Nova Scotia to Hamilton in 1946, quitting school in the process, and after having worked a few odd industrial jobs, working briefly in the Royal Canadian Navy until 1956, he would eventually become a police officer for the Hamilton Police Service until 1965. Finding that his police salary did not pay him enough, in 1963, Joyce purchased a Dairy Queen franchise in Hamilton.
00:15:49
Speaker
This was hugely successful for him. He made triple his police salary, so he decided to open another, but it was turned down by the city. Classic cop move. Sure, I'm being paid a bunch, but I could get more money. Yeah, it breeds capitalism, doesn't it? By this time, it was 1964, and things were about to change. He met Mr. Horton. They decided to team up, and Ron quit his job from the police service. A second location was open, and it began as a franchise.
00:16:18
Speaker
One of Ron's first experiences of Baker's training for Tim Horton was learning that his trainer didn't have a manual, but relied on a fucking Ouija board to figure out how many they need for the day.
00:16:32
Speaker
Uh, see, I approve of this method. Uh, let the spirits guide you. By 1967, two more stores were open, bringing the total to four, and Joyce then became full business partners with him. By this time, it was a multi-million dollar franchise system. So, before I start to talk about the death of Tim Horton,