Transcript
Speaker: This is Beat Our Quest, an improvised comedy role-playing podcast using the Triangle Agency system. Here, HR stands for Human Resources.
Speaker: It's just a lot more literal.
Speaker: Tucker Dally Johnston as Stuart Stuart Burtmeier. Nate Valentine as Felix Fuzzworth. Ivana María Méndez Pavón as Barabel.
Speaker: Last time, you guys were introduced to our guest undercover boss, a CEO who's come to evaluate his opportunity to work with the team while you faced off this enormous dictionary-powered kaiju spider in the sky. While still knowing that the Aurora Bagros is out there hunting for revenge on you, you guys visited four locations where this spider being was corrupting language in various ways, some... more inconvenient than others and you are looking at four more locations to hopefully trap and keep these spider beasts contained we catch you guys oh um in the last moments though as you guys took out its fourth leg you watched as an enormous egg plummeted out of the spider and landed nearby and that's where we pick up today's session we should probably i hate to say it but we should probably head towards that egg i don't want to do that let's go check out that egg
Speaker: Oh, I have already forgotten. I am so sorry. After recapping last session, I remember that our dear CEO had committed several demerits that we did not catch the last time. Oh, murder. Oopsies.
Speaker: Let's see. So that would be the biggest one being when the manager suggested that they all do some icebreakers, the CEO agreed in participating rather than saying it was his idea. Idiot. Idiot. I went through my list. Diego, you're receiving two demerits. Follow her.
Speaker: You do have an opportunity to participate in something that we call triangle court where you can defend one of your demeritable offenses and one of the other players gets to serve as a prosecutor, um wherein they will earn commendations if they successfully prosecute your offense. Would you like to defend one of your demeritable offenses?
Speaker: Can I know the two defend the the the defenses against me? The offenses? the you the The charges? Yeah, the charges. I'm going to so good in court. I'm going to do so good in court. The first being you were encouraged ah to do icebreakers from the the manager. Okay. And actually, that's the only one i'm going to have you charged with. Just the single one. The other one was less interesting. and and less That was very explicit right out the gate. Your first introduction of your character.
Speaker: Nah, that seems pretty cut and dry. I definitely agreed to it. Take the plea deal. It's a lot. Yeah. The glove fits for sure. You do deny us all a chance to do our southern lawyer, but it's fine.
Speaker: A bunch of southern lawyers. You can still do it for the whole session if you'd like. That's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If that's the case, then yes, you have two demerits while everyone else managed to follow their rules.
Speaker: ah I would also like to remind you some of the rewards that existed for this mission. um That was... brain oh Okay, so start if one of you success... Start a trend is for two commendations. If you have somebody change their watch time, that's one commendation.
Speaker: If you scare a flock of birds, that's one commendation. And Tony Dakota's secret milkshake recipe is still at large. I gotta try one of these. They sounds so they sound so good. to to and Lastly, and I forgot about this, Ivana...
Speaker: yeah Yes. You ah drained the soul of the Teddy, the Rememberer. Yeah, I that. When you visited that location. i did do that. And that unlocked you one of two options for your character to upgrade. Yeah.
Speaker: You can train or level up one of your powers three times. Or you can get rid of a bunch of those loose ends, which have caused all the bad weather events that have been triggered. That's boring.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: She's honest. How many loose ends do we have? Eleven. And how many can I lower it by? Nine. Holy shit. It's pretty selfless. And is this in character or is this a personal choice? Yeah, that's question. I think everything is in character in this game. Uh-oh.
Speaker: Then powers it is. Great. so Obviously. Nice. Which one of your three powers would you like to try to upgrade? You've got the one where you pull something out of the container.
Speaker: ah you've call That one I have practiced on. Does that matter? No, what it means is you have to do three three rounds of practicing and asking a question. So you've already gotten one practice, which means you could ask a question, practice, ask a question, and be two points of the three through upgrading your power if you want it. The enemy of my enemy is My friend or me? It's gotta to be you. I'll open the floor.
Speaker: Yeah. Knowing what I know about you there, Barabel, I'd say that the enemy of your enemy is for sure you, yourself and you. Yeah. I would not want to be on the bad side. Yeah. No, that's.
Speaker: I don't have a math good side. It's just the good side. The bad side doesn't exist because that people then don't exist. Um, yeah. Okay.
Speaker: Should I have the next question? Nope. You did it twice. So you you asked the question twice and it has the chance to change. twice. I've already checked off the boxes. You are good to go. I think that is the last bit of red tape we have to do. You are now about 50 feet from this enormous spider egg that has fallen to the ground. It's hard to see what it's made of from the distance you guys are standing at, though. Sorry, are we still at the circus? I assumed you guys... I think the circus wasn't the last place you went to. The last place was Dollar Image.
Speaker: That's right. That's right. Oh, right. Does anybody have anything to throw at the egg? Who wants to throw stuff at the egg? Anyone want to go get brunch?
Speaker: Well, I think we need a deal. You know, like the boss said, we got to deal with something, you know, going on immediately ahead of us. Are you talking brunch because you see the big egg and you want to crack open an egg? Is that you're saying in there, Barabel? Maybe.
Speaker: Stubert, how many shoes do you have? shoot Do I have with me or on my feet right now? Both. The answer is two total. Two shoes total. One pair. That's it. That's all I own. Can you be a pal and throw one of your shoes at the egg? Absolutely, I can for you there, sir. Absolutely, that's going to happen.
Speaker: I take off. Just a quick clarifying question there, ah ah Double B. Do you want me to throw both at the same time or do you want me to throw a one and one? Let's start with the first shoe just to see what happens.
Speaker: The second shoe we might throw too, but go for Wait, before you throw it, can I try to help you out really quickly? I don't see why not, but also why.
Speaker: ah Just pass me your shoe. I just want to try something. like I've been connecting with myself. I've been doing some yoga, and I just really feel like I could try to do something cool right now. Okay, here here you go. Here is my shoe for you.
Speaker: Okay, so you have a shoe, or you might also like... That's my power. That's name of my power. um so I'm going to now try to do my power. Hold any objects small enough to carry and roll dynamism. One, three.
Speaker: And I have two points in it. that that doesn't That doesn't give you more threes. That just means you could spend those points if you wanted to turn your numbers into threes. Yeah, but normally if I don't have points in it, it's eliminated, right? Yes, I'm sorry. Burnout, thank you. That's the correct one three. Okay, good.
Speaker: Yeah. So on a success, the object changes to a similar but different version of the object. So I'm going to add a spear, like a little knife to the point of the shoe.
Speaker: Amazing. Or you might also like a deadly shoe. Oh, wow. That actually, you know, Barabelle, I was a little worried when you took my shoe and said you wanted to help, but that that was that was surprisingly helpful. Thank you.
Speaker: ah All right, I'm going to throw this at the egg from right over here, I guess, there, boss. Here we go. You throw this shoe and it spins through the air. It's got a great little um rotation because of the blade. And it lands into the egg and slowly begins sliding into it ah with the same efficiency as a paper cutter through paper.
Speaker: And you watch as it kind of lands into the egg and slowly just starts sliding down and cutting it open. All right. Well, should we all hobble our way over there, you guys? Stuber, you want to throw your other shoe? Just to make sure. bos Absolutely. I'll do that for you. yet You do this and the shoe just thuds against it. It hits impacts with almost the same feeling of like ah like a shoe on a wad of paper.
Speaker: You know, that feeling we've all had before. Yeah. Yeah. You know, boss, that was a great idea. You got any other ah ideas for us? I mean, I can i can keep throwing other clothing items.
Speaker: Nah, let's just walk over and touch the egg. Who is the first to approach it? ah I'm happy to be the leader of the group, I guess. I volunteer Felix. Thank you, Barrel. Felix, as you get close to the egg and you get up, you start to see oozing, something oozing out of the egg. And it's hard to really identify what was. And it looks like it's little strips of paper with information written on it.
Speaker: Two things happen. One, as you eventually get close enough to the egg to touch it, you become bombarded with like just tons of secrets. You can learn the secrets of any NPC that you have met so far.
Speaker: Pick any e NPC. Tony Dakota. Yeah. i set myself up to fail for that um you get tony dakota's milkshake recipe which is one of his deeply treasured secrets i cannot believe this uh and it pours out of the egg um onto this little strip and you are aware of it uh yeah you've never been is so happy in my life this is the highlight of week Did not think that was going to happen that way. That was awesome. Do the listeners get to know what milkshake is? or Do we get to know what the actual ingredients are? like um He grates off a bit of jalapeno and adds it to the top of his milkshake. Hell yeah. bash That's what that spice is. okay
Speaker: Genius. Other than that, though, unfortunately, ah what is a mild secret about Felix? A mild secret about Felix? And you have a second to think about it, but you have to you uncontrollably are going to announce that small secret to everyone there. OK. As you approach the egg.
Speaker: Oh, okay, we're not going to cut away from you until I think of this. Okay, um... i can ah I can... I can only read at a second grade level, and I'm really embarrassed about it, but I'm trying my hardest, and I practice every night after work.
Speaker: from From kids' books. oh Hey, that's okay there, Felix. Oh, geez, yeah. Odd time to say that, though. I don't believe you. You don't believe me because you think I'm better or because you think I'm worse at reading?
Speaker: Yeah. No, because like you like have all of the you've won every single award at work. And um so you're lying to us. And this might just be a tactic to take over and become our senior. I'm already your senior because I'm the youngest associate at the agency. But I, you know, I'm just I'm just not book smart. I'm street smart. You know, we're not we're not reading books to the anomalies. We're shooting them with guns.
Speaker: We should refrain from probably doing that though. That's right. That is what the old boss man told me. you know he kind of gave us a little talking to him. Hey Felix, if you can't read, how many fingers am I holding
Speaker: up? That's not how that works, sir. Three. brilliant for For our listeners, three. i think you're good. You can read. You'll be fine.
Speaker: You guys can bring this egg with you, um but you will be subjected to this constant radioactive exposure of your secrets.
Speaker: Or you can leave it here. My secrets already out in the open. going to take it with me. Can we put the egg in one of the gain a briefcase? No, it's it's too big. you'd have to figure out something You'll have to figure out some kind of a way to transport it.
Speaker: And it's mild secrets, right? Starts mild.
Speaker: right, everybody, give me your belts. I'm going to lash this egg to my back. Absolutely, sir. Here's my belt. here's here hibel Yep, here's my Wow, Stubert.
Speaker: thirty four here's a slim boy Sir, I'm keeping my Fucci belt, but I'm going to give you this ah six foot long rope I have in my purse. Thanks, Barabel. I appreciate it. You're welcome. You guys are able to go to your next location. I'm shoeless and my pants keep falling down.
Speaker: yeah You guys pull up to the bank. And the first thing that happens, as you are aware that I'm going to spend seven chaos. Fuck. Oh, boy.
Speaker: I wonder if we could have stopped that. have something occurring inside of the bank. ah so You don't spend currency at the bank. You bank it.
Speaker: Whoa. Wait, why are we at the bank? And I need some cash for the weekend, Barabel. We're still stopping the spider legs. Oh. I'm going to try to deposit the egg. Sorry, I didn't. I had my sunglasses on. I couldn't see the leg, okay? I didn't know why we were here. Maybe someone needed to use the ATM.
Speaker: So you just did something, but we're not aware of what that is yet because you're piece of shit? Is that what you're saying? Because you're a piece of shit? Is that what you were trying to tell us, Paul? They're independent reasons, but yeah. Um...
Speaker: ah Diego, ah as your BB is exposed to this egg, what what little mild secret do you mutter under your breath as you enter the threshold of the bank? I really loved all the publicity I got in the 2000s when my parents faked that I was being carried away in a balloon.
Speaker: and I had a boner the whole time. That was steered into medium secret territory, I would to say. TMI. No, he has bigger secrets, Nate. Yeah. Let's tell you about two boners.
Speaker: You enter, you enter into the bank and I'm going to let you know this from this point on, you guys can no longer use words that begin with P and B. You can use words that have them in them. So you could say happy and you can say cabbage, but you can't say place and you couldn't say balloon.
Speaker: And you can no longer say boner, Diego. Careful. No! oh so b and P are out of your vocabulary. Got it? Oh, no. I roke my roaner. Wow. I forgot what these look like. The floors are so shiny. Jesus. Yvonne is a monster at these games. Good luck. Bye.
Speaker: When was the last time you came to one of these places to get money, Ivana? I feel like... What? yeah what Nate, you said prices. Oh, damn it. Oh, no. Nate, you're going to take QA. Okay. So as you say that...
Speaker: okay so as you say that You feel this metal brick come smashing into the back of your head. And as though ge in this instance, you see this huge pulling force yanking substances into the security deposit vault inside of the bank.
Speaker: I want, here's the game we're going to play inside of this bank as you solve this. So there's like a, there's like a pulling sensation as things are getting pulled into the bank. um, of value into the security deposit box.
Speaker: You guys also watch as three people, a bank teller and two individuals, start trying to claw at things to stop themselves from being pulled into that facility. They're being dragged Uh, is there a, uh, door on the security vault? There's a giant vault door, yeah. I'm gonna try to close it to, to stop, stop the, uh,
Speaker: magnetic force can i do that um the the pulling sensation the the drawing aurora bagros effect is too strong for you to stop with the door if you want to know the puzzle i could start you on the puzzle but this is an opportunity to prevent three loose ends essentially um to handle the three people bb toss me that rope yo no no my egg I need it for my egg. we can we can save those people. going to take it from them. I'm going to grab it off the rope. How about this? Wait, wait, wait. and by i go out of car like o tucker
Speaker: Am I... am I i completely forgot about the first game. screwed. Oh boy. i mean, oh, oh no. Nate, I'm willing to let you have, ah you, for two violations, I'm going to let you have one demerit rather than starting to drain into your QAs.
Speaker: So take a note you've earned a demerit. Because there are no demeritable offenses for this mission. It is purely by failing the letter rules. Double F's gone mad with jealousy over my egg. i run over to a bank teller. Bank.
Speaker: Tell me about your CDs. um um Can I take the row from CEO. You know what I'm going to I'm going to do the same thing I did the last time. If you have failed the puzzle, you cannot be affected by it a second time.
Speaker: It still is an effect for the other players. So you've taken two QAs of damage, Nate. And Diego, you'll take a q mirror No, not to you not the demerit. I've got a thing that's going to dump out demerit soon. Don't worry. Oh, I was. i was so worried. So I'm undoing the demerit. I'm giving myself another QA and I am stealing the rope and throwing it to the people who are being sucked in. Several of them grab the rope and they start, you know, one hand over the other um looking for guidance. What are you yelling to them as they need, like, to get out? Hold on. Hold on. Follow our voices.
Speaker: greatp Grab on. Help me. What do you have for HYSAs?
Speaker: Don't worry, you guys. It's just a really weird inside tornado. Yeah, I think ah I think ah air duct exploded. Awesome. Those are good enough lies. And you you eventually the three people make their way to the door. I need each of you to roll a D4.
Speaker: sir just Just one D4. Don't keep your number to yourself. Five. That really got to my head there for a second. okay You are going to have to think of an object you are going to put in a security deposit box.
Speaker: That object is valued one through four. One being the cheapest, four being the most expensive. Security deposit box about the size of a bread, you know, like one foot by one foot by one foot. So you can't just be like, I'm going to get a car and shove it in there.
Speaker: Okay. And is it is there any way objects? Yeah. That can fit in there? Any object that can fit in there? That could fit in a like foot, like a security lock vault box. The rules still apply? Yeah.
Speaker: Yes, the rules still apply. It has to be ours? Like, we brought this to the bank? No, in character. It's in character for your thing. So, like, what Felix, what is a four-value thing for Felix or a one-value thing for Felix, okay?
Speaker: You need to think of this. So it doesn't have financial? Could it be sentiment sentimental? Sentimental. Okay, great. Okay? You guys are thinking of it? It has to be sentimental? It doesn't have to. could be for your character, too. If you're CEO, it doesn't matter, okay? you have evolve So relative to one through four, I want you to think of an object. Okay.
Speaker: You guys think you got a good object for yourselves? You are now going to announce what that object is one at a time. And the four of you need to discuss where you think those objects are ranked. Now, some of you might have rolled the same number.
Speaker: So you might have three ones and a four. So you guys need to try to figure it out without giving up what your actual number is. You guys got it? Yes. yeah Okay.
Speaker: Nate, yeah what object did Felix bring? um I brought an old cat collar, which used to belong to an old cat of mine that I used to have who is no longer with us. Okay.
Speaker: Stuber, what did you bring? A wad of fives. BB, what did you bring? ah Uncooked Wagyu beef.
Speaker: Okay. And Barabel, what did you bring? Vintage diamond earrings. o Okay. Where do you guys think they all rank?
Speaker: Start discussing. Well, to do a round robin. well Smelly old cat collar. That's a one. No. I think collar's three.
Speaker: Out of four for importance? Yeah. I could see three. could also see a ah whole four. Four one.
Speaker: a four. I would... Let's buckle you guys. Let's keep this moving. They don't have a whole lot of time to discuss if it's going to be So you just got to buckle you guys in. What do you think it is? Three or four? We are a little limited at vocabulary. True. correct ah Wow. higher than I thought.
Speaker: Three. I'd say i'd say three. Great. Stubert's. Stubert brought in a wad of fives. Yeah. I don't know how he's doing financially, but wad of fives doesn't sound super important. I'm going to say that's probably an easy one.
Speaker: Two? I'm going to say one. guy He even said it with disdain. A wad of fives. he couldn't even You couldn't even have it be a stack, a neatly folded stack. Yeah. on It wasn't specific. Okay, so so you guys think we got a one. ah BB.
Speaker: brought uncooked Wagyu beef. This one is tricky for me. Most expensive beef on the plane. Also, beef was also B. I know it's supposed to be super fancy. I've never had it personally.
Speaker: But also, he's the CEO. that explains oh So he might have that every day. It might be a one for him. That's true. However, we don't know all the things going on inside that cranium of his...
Speaker: like You can say head. No. oh If it is raw beef that he's going to put in a storage box, it's also going to be absolutely fucking disgusting by the time he eats it So I don't know if that lowers the score. That is part of it. That is part of it. It's not going to be fresh forever. i would give it a two.
Speaker: So three. And then last Tucker and Ivana, what do you think? Two. So we've locked that in. it So we've got currently we've got collar at three. We've got water fives at one and we've got beef at two.
Speaker: Barabelle, you brought vintage diamond earrings. Vintage is through a way to describe it. I'm going to say... It's true. Four. True. Four. force I feel like four... It'd have to be vintage diamond earrings from my grandmother or something to be a four in my mind. I'm going to say three.
Speaker: I don't know if we have to be united on this, but... I'd goal i'd go three. Sounds like you locked in on three. Yeah. So, the differences between each of your things is going to be the number of demerits you've earned. huh As a team.
Speaker: No, no, no. So from from Nate's, Nate, you had the caller. see yeah They said it was a three. What number did you roll? Three. Triangle Agency Crew. Let's go. Nice. wo You guys get zero demerits from Nate's.
Speaker: Stuber brought a wad of fives. You guys said a one. Stuber, what was it? It was a two. Oh, so that means the three of you earned one demerit. So he doesn't. He doesn't, right.
Speaker: ah bear ah BB, you brought uncooked Wagyu beef. Yeah. You guys said it was a two? What was it? It was a two! And lastly, Barabel, with the vintage diamond earrings, you guys said three.
Speaker: Barabel, what was it? Three! What would be a one for stupid? I'm sorry to interrupt you, Paul. all Oh, a lot of ones.
Speaker: I guess I walked right into that. um Fuck you.
Speaker: As you guys successfully cram these magical items and these thoughts and these treasured memories into these ah security deposit boxes, eventually as the last one gets plugged in, you watch as the spider leg again eventually shambles and starts to struggle. You look out and you see the spider only having three pillars of legs is really struggling to walk around. I was originally to have you guys do four rooms, but maybe we're not going to do four rooms in the boss fight today. We might only do two or three. Whichever rooms look interesting.
Speaker: Sure. like it. Did the spider have six legs originally? What does that mean? I'm just... In case you only have six rooms. No, I'm just asking.
Speaker: i was going to say, yes, definitely. actually um And you guys are also free from the GB. Oh, my God. Thank God, that was bull pool. Oh, Jesus. It's a beef. Ballpark, ballpark, ballpark, ballpark. Ballpark.
Speaker: Boy, I want a pretzel. That really broke my brain for some reason. Of all the words, just couldn't even try. I was trying so freaking hard.
Speaker: Almost messed up. Almost. I caught it. You did. I saw that. I went, blah. um So you guys see one of the ladies at a place that you recognize, and that is the what you ah see is the Plainwell Estates fenced off community area.
Speaker: Yay! BB, are you still holding the egg? Yeah, last to my back, barely. You need to give out another ah secret about yourself slightly more intense than the last one. I like to suck my thumb because it soothes me. Oh,
Speaker: That doesn't that weird. What guru taught you that? You know, boss, I hear that CEOs all have different tactics for for staying sharp, so... I appreciate it friends. I do red light therapy.
Speaker: Cool. That tricks. I'll try that. Yes. I'll try it. Ewan Musk has his power pyramid hands and BB has sucking on his thumb. He's talking about Uncle Musky? Yeah. He's talking about Uncle Musky. Oh, I suck both of that. I suck both my thumbs at the same time. don't know if you guys thought it was just hand at same time. power play. No, it's both.
Speaker: And I cross one thumb opposite. So right hand goes into left cheek. The left hand goes into the right cheek. Left cheek. You're almost making the Aquabats symbol. Left cheek. Right cheek. That's tough to there, Vasa. Good on ya.
Speaker: You cruise your way up to the Plainville Estates. You see, of course, Tony Dakota's ice cream truck there. where You see one of the legs is standing near.
Speaker: i used to live in this shithole neighborhood before I got rich.
Speaker: oh Wow, I've never felt so poor in my life there, boss. Can I do a causality chain? Yeah. What are you thinking? um The Tony Dakota's supplier got his shipping mixed up, and instead of bringing him cream, which is secondary to the chipotle peppers, is also a primary ingredient in his milkshake, he brought him a bunch of bags of birdseed,
Speaker: and Nate is going for going second And so there's there's a bunch of pigeons just like chirping away trying to eat these bags of bird seed and on the way of course to talk to Tony Dakota I want to run through them I don't care how much chaos this creates. No, that's a great. ah Okay, I'll let you run a duplicity chain. Let's say that this is what what causes something to be the wrong food. Like, what is the physical? Why is it replaced with birdseed? What what happened in the shipping chain?
Speaker: Oh, well the guy who um the guy who dispatches things at the factory, he his wife just gave birth. And so he's out and you know they didn't have a good redundancy built in and and things are just going shit. This is like just scratching the surface of the orders that went out wrong today. i'll say I'm going to say this. So then you're going to have to ah roll empathy. Okay. You're rolling to see if you can have this person drop their emotional duty for work so that he doesn't make an SOP for his replacement when they come in. I'm going to have you roll empathy.
Speaker: All right. Um... I rolled two threes, but I get one subtracted. So it's one three. Great. That's still successful. um I generate five more chaos. But you you guys pull up. You see Tony Dakota's car. And there's kind of this moment as you watch reality kind of rewind. And you see this flock of birds sort of like come into the ground. Because Tony is throwing this bag of bird seed that had ended up in his shipping place. And these birds are now there as you guys pull up.
Speaker: Great. I've run through them. Yeah, I think Nate earned that. um Yeah, yeah. Really, you worked hard. You got five chaos for it. But you did, in fact, scare a flock of birds for one more. My character would scare birds intuitively as well. So I feel like it's, you know. Yeah, I think that's great.
Speaker: um you You want, and all these pigeons scatter away. um And you do feel this sort of compulsion to go check inside of Tony Dakota's truck, though. Inside the truck. right What's going on up there? you You ran out the car so fast. I'm just stretching my legs. um Does anyone else want to check out what's going on in here? and I haven't seen. Have we seen Tony?
Speaker: Felix? Felix, before you go in, i need you to do me the biggest favor. Okay. Can you hold my phone and just press record? Bebe, come here. Let's stand in front of the truck.
Speaker: Come here. I'm going to go get an ice cream out of the truck. Sure. I'm not great at this. what Am I taking a photograph? walk over the truck. No, no. I have it on. Just press the red button. Just press the red button when I tell you. Red button. You got it. Okay.
Speaker: Okay. Yes. All right. B.B., we're going to scream at the truck. Are you ready? I'm trying to open the truck. um I want a strawberry shortcake pop. Okay, then I need you to scream at it while you open it. Is that okay with you?
Speaker: This is such an immovable force. pop. hung Excellent. That works for me. Wow, that's that's beautiful. Thank you so much. All right, press record. all right, you're good.
Speaker: we're I don't know what's happening. Me neither. it Thank you. All right, and then I'm going to post screaming for ice cream on my socials, and then I'm going to text my daughter and use my ability that I can reach out to one of my ah people, and they can do something for me, and I'm going to ask her to please repost it and share it, because it's the new trend of screaming for ice cream.
Speaker: Sure, I'll give it to you, because you put so much work into it. But then I say, say again?
Speaker: And roll 64 for that? Yep. All right. what's like Oh, four threes. Nice. Yeah, okay. So you'll generate two chaos.
Speaker: Yeah, what do you want what do you want to have happen? So when Barabelle gets on the phone to her daughter, what she says is, not only am I not sorry I missed your birthday, you're adopted.
Speaker: Oh my god. oh my god Huge, huge, huge ramifications for that. Holy shit! i did Diego, guest player coming in and assassinating a whole character.
Speaker: I want to give some context. Diego has no idea about Yvonne's character's backstory, yeah her daughter, the fact that we had a birthday scene very recently. What?
Speaker: the ah The doors open eventually as Diego's working his way through and they tumble in. strawberry It's a huge snowy cliff, almost like in the scene in Aladdin where he gets like launched, dropped off on like a snowy, endless mountaintop and you tumble. in The other three of you also get pulled in. The Aurora Bagros has taken effect inside of Tony Dakota's ice cream truck. It is using its abilities to pull you in and slamming the door shut once the three of you are sealed inside of this cold, frozen mountaintop.
Speaker: Each of you is going to progressively take more harm as you guys are not equipped to be on top of this cold Mount Everest-like peak. While you are inside of this location, and this is something I don't know how I will track, but I will do it with the transcript, you can't use any words with IC or BR next to each other. So if you said a word like magic or broken, you'll receive a demerit after this recording.
Speaker: But you can say a word like bird or maniac. Bird. Because has... Sorry, I see. What's the other one? BR, so icy and brrr. That's good. That's fun. I'm not going to be to it, but it's fun. Oh, I had no idea. it was just I had more fun coming up with the concept. I'm trying to decide. i'm honestly trying to decide if I just try it all or just, like, hope.
Speaker: I don't even know how to keep track of that. So you guys ah all tumble down this huge snowy ah hill. Oh, my egg.
Speaker: you guys check my egg? Oh, yeah. I got you there, boss. I look at the egg. Stuber, two things happen. One, pick an NPC. Crap.
Speaker: Now, it could be anyone. it could be one that other people play. An NPC? One of my... Also, i think I get a commendation because Stuber did what I wanted.
Speaker: I want to have to check eggs. I think he always does what you want. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. I literally will get a demerit if I don't. Yeah, he just gets punished is what it is.
Speaker: Barabel's daughter. Give us a secret about... Uh, the daughter. i don't remember her name. She doesn't have a name. She doesn't have a name. She's just the daughter. She's just the purest middle child.
Speaker: yeah Yeah, give us a secret. Does it have to be one that she's aware of Nope. Could be anything. um She sneaks out at least twice a week to hang out with her quote-unquote boyfriend, who is an oldest child.
Speaker: Oh. o Oh, shit. That's scandalous. No. Yeah. But Stubert does know this now. um But Stubert, as you get close to the egg, the same thing that overcame BB, you need to confess a mild to medium secret about yourself because this is not your first exposure. This isn't my real accent. yeah
Speaker: What the hell? which a where Which they probably know, but no one's questioned.
Speaker: to get pulled to your childhood irish bar and they've heard me are you like a famous actor undercover that's happened to me before yes that's who fascinating
Speaker: Stuber, if you end up more famous than me, you're fired immediately. so really I understand, sir. Absolutely. I would never do anything ah to do that. And there's no way that I would and be able to acquire that much ah power, fame, handsomeness, richness, success. All of those words. like I would really like to get out of this place.
Speaker: Anyway, we can ignore that. Thanks for checking my egg. What's Wow! I think we got sucked into the Bagros's lair. say under my breath, what the shit is a Bagros? All right, well, let's find our way out.
Speaker: Wasn't it plastic bags originally? that's why it's called Bagros. now we have the cult. But if it's in... Right, but I don't see it, so we might have to find it.
Speaker: Let's call out for it. Hello? When you do that, you hear this roar. So i imagine you see this tiny door at the top of this cliff that you guys slid down. And that's the door entering into Tony Dakota's ice cream truck. You hear this roar from the outside that sounds like a tremendous rustling plastic bag. And you watch... As a metal bumper gets whipped through the door and you start to realize that the Aurora Bagros is starting to pull cars towards this car due to death inside of it. Mr. Bagros!
Speaker: Can I try to open the door? It's going to be open. It's just going to be a huge hike up this long frozen hill. That's rude. Can we see the the Aurora Bagros? You just know it's up so above and outside just by like the the the knowledge of its presence.
Speaker: All right, gang, let's get stepping. Let's walk towards the door. very cold. Stupid's got no shoes on. That's a good point. It is very cold. If you guys are going to walk this whole way up, you're all going to take two points of harm just out of the sheer effort to make it.
Speaker: I'm going to use, you might also like, with my shoes this time, my little heels. Let's see. Two threes.
Speaker: So I get to do it to another item. So the other shoe. um Okay. And I'm going to add little like hover wheels at the bottom that elevate me.
Speaker: Great. you You do that. And you you you whip your way up. I meant to say you only will take one point of harm with that. Wait, Barabel, can you give someone a ride? I can throw you my shoe down there. Okay.
Speaker: I chuck my shoe right at you. Can I put on her shoes and ride it out? You can't? Yeah, okay. I'll let you do that, but you will also... That's the last round of that before it... It's gonna have been spent out longer waiting for those shoes that it probably would have to walk. um So that leaves ah Stubert yeah and the boss man. Yeah, I'm looking at these here abilities.
Speaker: Stubert is... but but but but pretty cold. Let's hug. Sure, absolutely. dear we we be we we we we we be dove du to double be um i I hug Stuber from behind and slip my arms underneath his because that's how I hug.
Speaker: ah Oh gosh, here we go. and I i piggyed ah jump onto his back. Egg and all. All Stuber, I know you're thinking, but if you can't think of anything, let's get moving. I'm cold. Technically, I'm going to try to roll mist, I think. Oh, no. going to try, and I am going to use my D6 as well.
Speaker: where are my Where are my other D4s? Okay, if that's a that, and that's a that. Okay, so I rolled... Two threes plus, I gotta look at what how that ability works with the d6. So, I've got four d3s. What does that mean? Four d3s for the ability missed. On a success, you were always somewhere else nearby.
Speaker: Like, you know, up the hill. For each additional three, another willing nearby target may be moved with you to the new location, like the boss and his egg. You missed!
Speaker: You and the egg all three go. You're pulled right out of the door. The door slams shut, and you watch as Tony Dakota's ice cream truck begins to collapse in on itself as huge cars come wailing in and compressing it in on itself. You look up and you see the Aurora Bagros let out an enormous roar.
Speaker: What do you guys want to do? throw my shoes. We're going to be missing a lot shoes. I need to look at the... ah who I could look at it. Does anyone remember the name of the guy who whose apartment the Aurora Bagros was in? Once ah an anomaly is out and it isn't tethered to anything, it's just a dangerous monster. it really doesn't have any relations to anything. It's just out there activating and using its abilities looking for purpose. And it's just going to more violently react. It is just a dangerous threat. Yeah. If you can't, if you can eliminate it, that's really the only thing to do or briefcase it. But to briefcase it we got to know what it wants, but we know what it wants.
Speaker: I'm going to take out the gun and start shooting at it. yeah Great. Simple as that. Like a cowboy, you pull out the gun, you blast a hole through the Aurora bagrows, the thing disintegrates and falls into an ashen pile of plastic on the ground and blows away. ah That was pretty effective. Um...
Speaker: I know the boss told not to do that, but it's us or them. These anomalies gotta go. The boss is not here. I will say that does mean you cannot use it on the giant spider. And as you let off that fire, you look up and you watch the spider kind of wobble as it's only on two more legs and it sits and falls and collapses down on the ground on this non-distinct but very boring looking flower shop.
Speaker: Okay. I say we go to the flower shop. Not just because the spider is there, but because I need a new bouquet for home. i need an arrangement. Something nice. Simple. Oh, to apologize for the horrible things you said to your daughter?
Speaker: I don't know what you mean because those words did not come out of my mouth. I did not. My mind said something and my mouth said another thing. So, it must have been one of you. Hojere!
Speaker: All right, team. No more pointing fingers. I'll go get by arrangements for all of you. Let's go. Wow. That's really generous. Wow. That's real nice of you there, boss. That's so cool. Yeah, don't worry. I'm taking it right out of your paychecks. Let's roll.
Speaker: ah And you know, Barabella, could be the word spider. There's an anomaly that's affecting our words. The what? The spider might have affected your phone call. That's true. Wait, but that's a bigger problem because then I can't discuss that with my daughter. I can only talk about the big spider with you guys.
Speaker: What am I going to tell her? She thinks she's adopted, for goodness sake. So you walk up to the flower shop, presumably ah boss man, to get some lovely flowers for your team and take it out of their paychecks, like you said. And when you walk up, you see an enormous looking guy working the flower shop. He's got black sunglasses on. You even see he's got like one of those earpieces. um You realize that the name of the flower shop is Perfectly Ordinary Flower Shop.
Speaker: Oh no I walk right up to the counter. Holy, I look right up at him. Holy shit, you're fucking huge, dude. Thanks, man. Name's Jake Reacher. i run this flower shop. That's pretty sick, dude. We should wrestle sometime. Anyways, what's your best arrangements for my team here? Most expensive.
Speaker: Cost is literally no option. Look, we only have one type of flower arrangement. It's this. Any gestures to a single flower arrangement in a vase? That's our most popular. Ooh. Do you have anything in the back? We don't have anything in the back. That's just for caterings and weddings.
Speaker: can you go check? I can't. I'm trying impress my team here. Excuse me, boss? All right, give me one second. Boss, um... Yeah, one second, giant guy. I turn around to Barabel. This guy's being a huge fucking dick. I know of a wedding happening, so... You know of a wedding happening? Yeah.
Speaker: Okay. So I whip around, look right up at the giant guy. Hey, there's a wedding happening. Can we yes get some other stuff that's better? That's where we put them together. I'm not going let you back there to look at all of our wedding stuff.
Speaker: All right. Stuber, you're up. Come in. Hey, how you doing? um I'm Stuber. I will be the distraction for you today. There is, sir. um How are you today? Why don't you tell me something about yourself?
Speaker: And I'm going to do I'm going to make some head motions ah to try to see. What do you guys need? If you're not going to buy flowers, you're going to have to leave. Sir, what?
Speaker: What's that over there? And I'm going to point outside. And I'm going to roll for attentiveness. And I didn't roll a three. so what happens what happens when you bear a bell?
Speaker: Oh. um but but but but papa the GM will describe a different object that is now there, and it's either obviously out of place or extremely inconvenient. There's a box... i was pointing towards right outside shop. There's a box that says, flowers specifically to be given to employees for good work.
Speaker: For free. Why don't you guys use those? You know, that's a great idea. We're gonna do the... Unbound! And then, um... Are If is in your way or holding you back, relax your body and roll a subtlety. I'm going to always use my D6, even though it could potentially add. Because it's awesome. Because it is awesome, but it can also add one more chaos.
Speaker: Okay, so that's a... Oh, my God, I did that. Nice. And then need two more, right? Yes, because I have that. I rolled four threes again.
Speaker: How many people can you take with you? On every third three, I can choose one. i can either become invisible, become inaudible, become unmemorable to one observer, or bring one person with you any time I pass through an obstacle while using this ability.
Speaker: I'm going to become unmemorable to the big guy. Amazing! And just slip past into the back. Great, you do that. When you slip into the back, you see a sign that says DISCO. It's an acronym that stands for Department of Internal Secrets and Compromising Operations. That's not great. You realize that this is a facility where they have been gathering all the secrets of the world, and they're using this spider to fuel it.
Speaker: ah You, you, you know, you're, you're sneaking away around your unmemorably kind of incorporeal and you eventually find a room where the head of the spider, all that's remained is sort of hissing and it's spitting out little bits of webbing and eggs and things like that. It's a, that's all that kind of remains as you guys have brought it down.
Speaker: I don't know what to do with that information. Hold please. Not the ability. That's not an ability.
Speaker: Let's cut back to the other three players then um as you you stumble across this fact. What would the three of you like to do? This guy's like, look, there are flowers outside for you. Clearly that's what you came here for. I can't think of anything else you could possibly want.
Speaker: hoist my hefty egg and slam it down on the table. You see this egg? You seen this egg? ah He is ah shocked and caught off guard as you handle the egg. When you handle the egg with such aggression, you have to confess a very important secret about yourself.
Speaker: ah I have soiled myself at every abnormal encounter we've had since I've joined the team. And I just I just shake my pant leg when nobody's looking. So it just tumbles out.
Speaker: So i i shake I shake my pant leg as I hoist the egg onto the table. We already knew that, sir. ah He goes, ah ah how do you know about this? And he goes, I cry in funny movies and get embarrassed about it, so I can't see them in theaters around people. And then he takes, he like, his you guys need to leave him right away. And he starts to grab the egg and tries to take it with him to the back room. No! I try to headbutt him, but he's so much taller than me, I hit him in the middle of the chest. I'm gonna grab the egg and try to take it away from him.
Speaker: I know he's bigger than me. That's never stopped a woman. You are in a back-and-forth scenario. As you grab the egg, confess a secret. My daughter is a dog!
Speaker: there's nothing wrong with that There is something wrong with stealing this egg from me. We had first. You're the one stealing it, obviously. yeah Do you know the rules of stealing? Like, have you ever stolen anything? You clearly don't know what you're doing. Your incompetence is showing. it That's a really good point, and I got into this kind of job because I don't understand important concepts that involve a lot of critical thought.
Speaker: I think a lot about what my dad said about it wouldn't amount to anything, and I might be right. Are you looking for a better job with higher pay? Maybe some benefits? I like the job. I like the people I work with. A small car? Felix, what are you doing during all this chaos? You're saying no to a car.
Speaker: Get your hands off my egg, you bitch. I was going to get involved with the egg fight, but oh oh i'll do i'll do I'll do this. I'm going to use my ability.
Speaker: i would like to use, well, I guess a a feature. Their voice, their love, their fingerprints. I guess I can't, like, take a sense from him, right? That's not really it. Yeah, you can steal emotion, compulsions, desires, feelings. Then I'm going to take his hearing roll. Nate's done some fucked up stuff with this ability.
Speaker: i don't I don't see how that's on me. ah So I rolled... uh trifecta oh you gotta try sevens try tri and great that's what i said three so uh what where do i take them i don't know if i really need the bonus points but i will take the commendations okay let me read this real quick um
Speaker: uh i can have him keep a flawed version of yeah so i'll have him keep a flawed version of his sound of his hearing um and i will so he can't hear me and i want to sneak behind but how do you what do you want to hear instead I just wanted to be totally fixated on whatever bullshit Barabel is bickering with him about so that I could sneak behind him and get and follow Stubart into the room. I'm going to make this even more specific. He can only hear things that Barabel is yelling at people.
Speaker: Amazing. If you don't let go of this thing, I'm going to break it. I'm going to break it right now in front of you. ah That starts to frighten him. I will let that experience of losing his ah sense start to freak him out. He's like, I don't know what's going on. I can't hear anything. And now I'm not entirely sure i want to work in law enforcement. It was my powers of voice. that ah As you guys eventually reconnoiter, it's a small secret operating facility, and you guys make your way into the back room.
Speaker: You see this spider ah missing most of its legs, kind of writhing about on the floor. ah It's clear that the spider is spitting up paper.
Speaker: um The webbing is secrets of the people who live in this town, and they are using these secrets to manipulate and control them. The spider recognizes the egg that you have with it, and there's a moment of of joy as you're reunited with it.
Speaker: What would you guys like to do? Oh my god, sir, you're an absolute genius. You brought the egg back to its mother. I can't believe you figured that out all on your own, boss.
Speaker: i Wait, I have to- You're a hero. I'm not giving the egg to that thing. This is my egg. Shit. I think tried so hard.
Speaker: I walked shoeless through the snow on Stubird's back for a little bit to get this egg all the way here. The might be adopted as well. Doesn't even look like the spider. Exactly. oh I wouldn't make it adopted. I think we need to give it to it i don't If you make the decisions, sir. I don't know.
Speaker: It might be enough for us to capture the spider. All right. I guess. Spider, think fast! And I just whip the egg at the spider. The egg collides with the spider, and it clicks its mandibles excitedly. It's happy to be you reunited with its kin.
Speaker: The egg rips open at the top and starts to spew out light along with scrolls of paper with writing on them. I'm going to let each one of you decide an NPC.
Speaker: And you guys get to make a statement about that NPC to make a secret. So if you'd like, I can give you just a long list of some of the NPCs we've met. You could do any of the NPCs I play. You could do any of the NPCs that are related to your character or somebody else.
Speaker: Yes. um Oh, God. For the secretary. fuck. general manager uh fell victim to a trend on social media called the caveman skincare which is that you don't touch your face like you don't wash your face for months or put anything on your face there's no water contact there's no soap there's nothing and then your skin starts to peel off essentially
Speaker: It's supposed to leave you with a better skin afterwards, but that's also not necessarily true. ah So yeah, I would like her to start on that. ah Not only is that by thinking the secret, it's manifested in her house. She's been working at this for months and we see her sitting in front of her, about to go into the shower and she's got this little plastic bag set up that she's made for her head so that none of it gets wet as she's about to step in and try to clean the rest of her body. And she's like, I got this. I got this.
Speaker: Two more months and then I'll be young and beautiful ah I got a secret about one of my NPCs, ah ronal Ronald Johnson. Ron John, my good bowling buddy. So Ronald Johnson ah doesn't actually like bowling. He just needs to get out of the house once a week because he's so unhappy. What?
Speaker: It would really change my approach to that character next time it pops up. Diego, do you have any NPC secret you want to reveal? Yeah. um The mother of the ugly baby knows that its baby is ugly and will never get un-ugly, so she gives it up to adoption.
Speaker: Wait, who is the ugly baby? You mean... When I first appeared scene, the woman came up to me with her baby and wanted me to kiss her because I was the loom boy. yeah! And I was like, no, ma'am, your baby's ugly. So in her heart of hearts, she knows that baby ugly. Set up his own callback for the second day. Incredible.
Speaker: Incredible. and Felix, do you have an NPC secret? Yeah, um old man Grissom has started to go on dates with Petunia May, who lives on the farm down the road.
Speaker: um But he does not have the emotional maturity or language to tell anyone about it, including Felix, his best friend. oh You guys have this moment. The egg ah connects with its mother. Briefcase it.
Speaker: Briefcase it. Who's got to briefcase it? We've got to try to briefcase it. You snap the the spider and the egg inside of the briefcase. This was a successful mission. As you all know, when you finish a mission, you get to do our favorite thing, which is filling out paperwork and talking about what was successful and what wasn't. So if you'll take a moment, let's talk about... Are we like back at the ah the office?
Speaker: Yeah. Okay. So I... ah Hey, gang, come on in. I want to show you something. I open the door and tell the conference room. It is the world's only every flavor margarita machine. Signed by Jimmy Buffett.
Speaker: Cost a lot of money, but you guys are worth it. Go ahead. Any flavor you can think of is in there. Go ahead Try it. Felix. Whatever you think. Glitter?
Speaker: Glitter is topping, and it's in there. ah Can i make a ah milk margarita? because You sure can, my boy. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Mmm, wow, this is delicious. It tastes just like I expected it would.
Speaker: Barabelle, glitter you can have. Martini margarita. Wait, I want a glitter martini margarita, please. You got it. Wow! The olives are in there, too!
Speaker: so shiny! I see you eyeing the machine. what would you like? You know, i'm ah I'm a simple boy. i always went with vanilla, and I don't see why I wouldn't keep going with vanilla.
Speaker: of course you would. What a safe choice, friend. It's just, it's plugged to every flavor known in humankind, but I applaud you, Stubert. Pungent end. All right, $800 per margarita. You'll see that deducted on your next payroll. Shit!
Speaker: You guys gotta stop falling for that. nothing And then I pour myself a solid gold bottle margarita. That's impossible to drink. All right. Paperwork time.
Speaker: What is the alias for this spider? o I've got one for your consideration. ah Black Widow Spider, but no vowels. So it's B-L-K-W-D-W-D-W-S-P-D-R. Sure. Yes. Yep. That's it.
Speaker: Look, what a spreader. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. what was this creature's behavior erratic i was just gonna say erratic wow um what is the the like common thing that it was affecting it was like fucking with language right communication communication yeah yep there you go um so it was uh it was manipulating people's ability to communicate um so then what was its focus Secrets, baby! And then so that's its domain was then... farmership? The whole secret. Inside of the Disco, the Department of International Secrets and Compromising Operations. You guys managed to capture that one. You destroyed the Roar Bagros, but fortunately that was not part of the mission, so you will not be receiving demerits.
Speaker: Diego, I just want to give you a big thanks for having being a wonderful addition to this recording. You brought some real heat for these two sessions. We really, really will look forward to hopefully having you back another time in the future. um Do you have anything you would like want to plug? i know that's like a weird thing to bring up, but I guess that's an opportunity we have. Yeah, I want to plug the Beat Our Quest podcast and role playing group. It is probably one of the most imaginative podcasts.
Speaker: groups I've ever been a part of. The people work really hard to help complete noobs like me have a good time. So I highly recommend it to people. You guys are a blast to listen to. And yeah, that's that's what I want to plug.
Speaker: And boom. We've basically got merch branding done at the end of that episode. You know what I mean? I'm talking every flavor margarita maker. Come on. Someone can make that for us, right?
Speaker: Anyway, thank you guys so much for listening to that episode. As always, I want to thank Sean Ireland and Caleb Zane Hewitt for making such a sweet game for us to play. I want to thank Blood Boy for making us that sweet intro-outro music. Go check them out.
Speaker: I want to thank our Game Master, Paul Emmerich, for always giving us such a fun and safe place to play in. And especially for these last two episodes, I really want to thank Diego Perez for just giving us everything that he's got and also everything that we've got and everything that anyone's got. I've never seen a man give more. We were just trying to keep up.
Speaker: Again, thank you for listening. And if you have just a smidge of time, would you mind terribly if I asked you to rate and review our podcast? It really keeps our robot overlords happy. Okay, thanks. I gotta go catch a bus. Love you. Bye.
