Transcript
Speaker: Bigger Talks, Bigger Talks.
Speaker: And we back again for another Bigger Talks conversation, discussion, all of the things.
Speaker: And I have a special guest today, Miss Kristen Pugh.
Speaker: I was joking with her before the interview.
Speaker: She was like, hey, I thought it was Pugh.
Speaker: She said, no, it's Pugh.
Speaker: Kristen Pugh, she's a phenomenal person.
Speaker: She's a public speaker, podcast host, and a journalist.
Speaker: Graduated from the University of Colorado in 2017.
Speaker: She works in media, and she has a lot to say today.
Speaker: We'll tap into her story about who she is, where she's from, and we'll get into some spirituality as well.
Speaker: Kristen, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker: How are you feeling?
Speaker: I'm doing good.
Speaker: I'm a tinge nervous because like I told you, I'm never like really in this position often.
Speaker: So I'm curious about what you're going to ask me today.
Speaker: So, but I'm ready.
Speaker: I'm ready.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Well, this is going to be beautiful.
Speaker: So by the way, to give you guys some context, I was on Kristen's podcast, Humble Beginnings, probably about three months ago.
Speaker: We got an interview.
Speaker: She had some really, really phenomenal questions.
Speaker: I was intrigued because some people,
Speaker: They do their research, but they only do like the gossipy research.
Speaker: She did a deep dive into who I am and what I have going on.
Speaker: So also she's part of my Miracle Season Mentorship and Accountability group and community.
Speaker: And she's so insightful.
Speaker: She asks questions.
Speaker: um she's just very she's a deep thinker and i like that about her so i don't know if i ever told you that kristen but i appreciate your questions i appreciate how you think and uh what you're building within your own realm so let's get into it let's start with um the podcast before we get into like the history where you were raised you're born humble beginnings and you said it stands to humanity and humility can you give us synopsis like what does that mean why humble beginnings and what is humanity what is humility from your perspective
Speaker: Oh, that's a great question, because quite honestly, I'm still figuring that out.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because Humble Beginnings has been a podcast.
Speaker: Well, it was supposed to be a TV show.
Speaker: Well, it will be.
Speaker: I should say it will.
Speaker: But it's been like five years in the making, per se.
Speaker: And I don't know how I came up with that name, but I was like, oh, humble beginnings.
Speaker: And then I was like, OK, if I'm going to call it something and take this more seriously, I have to come up with some type of meaning.
Speaker: So I was like, oh, I do value the principle of humility.
Speaker: And that's something I stand on.
Speaker: And so I really try to look for people that exhibit those characteristics.
Speaker: And I just really focus on telling people stories.
Speaker: Again, I'm trying to really see what it all fully means.
Speaker: But instead of wasting time, I was like, I just better go for it.
Speaker: And my mom also encouraged me to go for it.
Speaker: So, yeah, there's not much significance behind it yet.
Speaker: But I think as I continue to grow and expand my brand, I think more will come along with it.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: Would you say what is the word humble to you?
Speaker: Like, what is the meaning of humble?
Speaker: To me, humble.
Speaker: Like, I wouldn't say like putting yourself down, right?
Speaker: Because I think people tend to think like humble means like you can't take up space, that you can't be yourself.
Speaker: You have to be so meek and mild, right?
Speaker: But I think being humble, I would equate that to being grateful.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, I think, yeah, that's what I would agree to.
Speaker: Being grateful, being submissive in a way, because you want to still learn from people, right?
Speaker: Yeah, that's how I would really define it.
Speaker: Being grateful and being somewhat submissive, you know?
Speaker: Humble means to be grateful and to be submissive to learning.
Speaker: yeah I think yeah I tell her all the time people listening she's in my group I say you need to write a book like you're such a great storyteller where you put words together so I want to talk about your mom because you brought up your mom and how she encouraged you to do the podcast so I was reading your bio that you were raised by a single mom growing up how was that and how did that impact you in your life and what you do now
Speaker: Oh, well, my mom has definitely impacted me a lot.
Speaker: God, just really watching her kind of struggle.
Speaker: So like, how should I put this?
Speaker: She impacted me in both positive and negative ways.
Speaker: And by negative, it's not a bad thing, right?
Speaker: But there were a lot of beliefs that I had, like, oh, you have to work really hard.
Speaker: Oh, it's, you know, you kind of have to struggle.
Speaker: Like there was kind of the struggle narrative painted.
Speaker: So that was kind of a narrative.
Speaker: But at the same time, yeah.
Speaker: The struggle that she had was also a positive for me because we really got to see her work hard.
Speaker: And yeah, if it wasn't even, if it wasn't for my mom, I don't think I would be the person that I was today.
Speaker: I wouldn't have been in therapy because she put us in therapy because we had a lot of issues growing up, especially with our dad.
Speaker: Like my mom went through a lot of abuse with my dad and my dad was in and out of me and my sister's lives.
Speaker: Yeah, she's she's played a huge role and she's always pretty much encouraged me and she really was on to something when she saw me first speak at a community event.
Speaker: And yeah, and that's when she just kind of told me to run with things and.
Speaker: If it wasn't for her again, I really wouldn't have the podcast because I always thought like me having my own platform was impossible or like it wouldn't be valid if it wasn't like through a network or if I if I didn't make it in news or if I didn't have all of the optics that I wanted to at the time.
Speaker: But she was like, hey, why don't you just start small, whether that's through YouTube.
Speaker: or do a podcast.
Speaker: And then she was actually going to do a podcast with me.
Speaker: So she offered to do that with me.
Speaker: And I was like, okay, sure, I'll do it.
Speaker: And then like a few days later, I was like, no, I'll just do my own thing because I'm confident in what I'm going to do.
Speaker: And I'm sorry, I know you, but this is a little bit my lane.
Speaker: But yeah, so she's definitely been there, been a huge supporter.
Speaker: I can't thank her enough.
Speaker: And she's instilled a lot of hard work and ethic and values.
Speaker: And so.
Speaker: So mom was a great inspiration.
Speaker: So what was that community event that she heard you spoke at, that she discovered that you could speak and you had some type of power and favor in that way?
Speaker: What was that event?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So in high school, I did community organizing.
Speaker: And so again, that was one of the greatest things about my mom is she got me and my sister involved in community groups.
Speaker: And so I was a part of this group called Together Colorado.
Speaker: And the group at my school was working on gang violence.
Speaker: We were trying to tackle that around my school.
Speaker: And one day, like, I don't know who said it.
Speaker: They were like, OK, we're going to put on this action, right?
Speaker: We're going to invite all these people, community leaders, members, school officials, all of that.
Speaker: And they were like,
Speaker: wait, Kristen, you should host it.
Speaker: You should do, you know, be the host, keep track of the time, ask the questions, all that fun stuff.
Speaker: And so, yeah, I don't know, I just prepared for it and did it.
Speaker: And my mom was like, yeah, that's it.
Speaker: And everyone else was like, yeah, you have a gift.
Speaker: And yeah, I just started speaking more and more in other community groups.
Speaker: And yeah.
Speaker: It just kind of just latched on to me because a lot of people don't know this.
Speaker: I am an introvert.
Speaker: A lot of people claim I'm not.
Speaker: I don't know why, but I really am.
Speaker: I'm really a shy person.
Speaker: So for people to hear me speak, they were shocked, but it was a humbling experience that they saw that in me.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: And, you know, you said about your gift, right?
Speaker: And, you know, I did an episode probably like two episodes ago about being responsible for your gift and how your gift will make room for you.
Speaker: Your gift will give you more gifts.
Speaker: And I really believe, you know, I think we talked about this in a group a few days ago, maybe a week ago.
Speaker: What is that one thing you know you can do?
Speaker: And everyone listen, listen to this.
Speaker: or who will watch, what is that one thing you know you can do with no failure, without even thinking?
Speaker: And I think for you, Chris, and just knowing you and the time I've known you, you can know how to speak.
Speaker: And I will bet my bottom dollar that if I put you in front of someone for a debate, I guarantee you'll win.
Speaker: Not because you're better, not because you might be smarter.
Speaker: I just think your will to get your point across is so transparent and so strong that I can feel it.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And so it's a gift, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: By knowing that and by utilizing that and having a podcast, because it's people every day think about doing a podcast and they are so afraid to start because I think people are afraid to fail, not because they don't want to fail.
Speaker: They don't want to judge.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Because when you're visible, you're going to be judged.
Speaker: People are so afraid of what a person is going to say, what a person is going to think.
Speaker: And I'm here to tell anybody, people are always going to have something to say or think about what you're doing.
Speaker: But if you're happy and it's your platform, Humble Beginners, the podcast, click her link.
Speaker: I'll put her stuff in the show notes and listen to her episodes because she has something to say and she asks great questions.
Speaker: And by way of questions, let's get into journalism.
Speaker: What is a life?
Speaker: What is the life of a journalist?
Speaker: And why did you choose that?
Speaker: feel or the industry to be in to be where you are today or get you where you are today?
Speaker: Um, a life of a journalist.
Speaker: Oh, God.
Speaker: I mean, I'm still I still kind of consider myself new to it.
Speaker: And my journey is so it's so different with it, because for a while, like I could I didn't
Speaker: like the typical journalists will do internships throughout college.
Speaker: I applied in here and there and I didn't really get any internships.
Speaker: And then I was still trying to figure things out like, okay, how am I gonna get experience?
Speaker: And so then I started volunteering at a local city station and then yeah, kind of just kept applying for producer jobs and then got my way in that way.
Speaker: But yeah, a life of a journalist,
Speaker: It's for me, it's really just about telling people stories like finding the gems, you know, and really trying to get deep inside of the person.
Speaker: I don't like asking typical questions.
Speaker: I'm not here for like dramatics or gossip.
Speaker: I mean, we get enough of that.
Speaker: I really want insightful dialogue.
Speaker: So
Speaker: For me, I think sometimes it can be intense and sometimes I can also be too hard on myself because I'm really like searching.
Speaker: I'm like, okay, what's been covered, what hasn't?
Speaker: And if it has been covered, what can I expand upon and make it different?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So, yeah, I'm in the space I'm in now, like just being a freelance journalist or content creator, whatever you want to call it.
Speaker: It is a lot of work and it's not just a lot of like physical work that you put in, but it is a lot of like mental work.
Speaker: and spiritual work, a lot of internal work, because for me, I used to really look for like followers in high engagement.
Speaker: I'm like, okay, if I have this many followers and I'm doing great, right?
Speaker: But I've had to learn to let that go.
Speaker: And I thought I was going to have way more support.
Speaker: Like there's some episodes where I was like, okay, damn, like this episode is good.
Speaker: And then to see it not even do numbers like I thought it was.
Speaker: I was getting offended at that.
Speaker: Like I was really mad because I put my heart and soul in that.
Speaker: But I've had to really learn how to remove myself and just really work on my mental.
Speaker: Like even today, even before we got on this call, I was just.
Speaker: pissed off because okay I don't I don't really see any engagement on my newest episode post you know just just something like so silly like that and I know it's you know but I want to speak to that because I think I think the the environment that social media has created within us is not healthy because of that and I'll tell you a story for you and the listeners
Speaker: So the real engagement is that you did a podcast, right?
Speaker: Let's be clear.
Speaker: You have a podcast.
Speaker: Let's be clear.
Speaker: You have somewhere where someone can go listen and get information.
Speaker: Whether you get 10 to 10,000 downloads, listeners, it doesn't matter.
Speaker: So there's a story and I'll give you this because it's so important.
Speaker: There's a story by, I think he's a relationship coach.
Speaker: His name is Paul Brunson, right?
Speaker: And he has clients that he coached in relationships, like for that one thing who want to find a partner.
Speaker: So one of his clients worked for Oprah, right?
Speaker: She was an editor for an Oprah show or for the OWN Network.
Speaker: And his client was on a private jet with Oprah and Oprah was asking her,
Speaker: or editor, do you know anybody who will be a great relationship expert because I need a relationship show on the own network?
Speaker: Now, mind you, this guy, content creator, relationship coach, he went on and created his own relationship show on YouTube, right?
Speaker: I think he might have had like three or four episodes up, and he probably had like 30 subscribers or something like that.
Speaker: We've got three or four up, and the episode that Oprah went to go watch had 11 views.
Speaker: So out of those 11 views, it was Oprah who was one of the views who got him a gig, made him more prominent.
Speaker: So I'm here to tell you and anyone listening,
Speaker: Views don't equal dollars.
Speaker: They don't convert to dollars.
Speaker: But it's about who's watching opposed to how many people is watching.
Speaker: Because I've been on a reality show.
Speaker: You get all these followers.
Speaker: All those followers don't buy my merch.
Speaker: They don't tap into Bigger Talks podcast, right?
Speaker: It's okay.
Speaker: They're not supposed to.
Speaker: As long as you can create a niche following of people who like you for you and what you're creating, the process of humble beginnings will be the thing that you want and then some.
Speaker: So, and that's why it's important for us to have these conversations and thank you for being so vulnerable because a lot of people feel that way.
Speaker: I didn't get that many likes.
Speaker: I don't have that many followers.
Speaker: People are not looking at my story.
Speaker: I only got four people on my Instagram lives.
Speaker: It's not about who's watching.
Speaker: It's not about how many people see it.
Speaker: It's about what content are you putting out in the ether, right?
Speaker: What energy are you putting out in the universe?
Speaker: Everything you're doing, everything you did is always going to come back.
Speaker: I promise you.
Speaker: You're a great person.
Speaker: You want to do well.
Speaker: You're intentional.
Speaker: You work hard.
Speaker: It's going to happen.
Speaker: It's human nature.
Speaker: It's just never going to happen on a time you might like it because then if you get everything you want, it might go to your ego and you forget the work you put in.
Speaker: So I'm just thankful that you you told us about that because I struggle with that subconsciously conversation.
Speaker: I'm over this.
Speaker: Like, why am I putting so much value?
Speaker: Because they programmed us to.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And we got to start thinking about, like, what am I program to?
Speaker: That's not real to who I am.
Speaker: That takes me away of.
Speaker: Oh, let me take this video down because it has this amount of views.
Speaker: So.
Speaker: Kristen, I appreciate you saying that.
Speaker: And to people listening, don't let anything outside of yourself control how you feel or what you do.
Speaker: And I know it's hard.
Speaker: I'm not saying it's easy.
Speaker: It is not easy.
Speaker: However, as long as you put out good content, the universe is going to reward you.
Speaker: So when is your, how many episodes do you do a week or a month?
Speaker: And when do they come out?
Speaker: So, and that's another thing.
Speaker: The life of a journalist is like, I have dead for the last few months.
Speaker: I don't know how many inquiries, emails I have sent out and I haven't heard much back.
Speaker: And so I have to keep following up, right?
Speaker: And so it has been tough lately.
Speaker: I'm thankful I did land a few interviews recently.
Speaker: So I've been putting stuff out every week.
Speaker: I try to either pick like a Monday or Friday.
Speaker: I'm trying to just practice more consistency because I used to when I started, I used to do like, I think one a month or two a month because I was taking a baby step.
Speaker: I was like, hey, you know, I'm going out on a limb here.
Speaker: I'm scared.
Speaker: I'm nervous.
Speaker: But let me just get something out.
Speaker: But yeah, I definitely try to upload every week.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: And I also think I would add even episodes like what you just said.
Speaker: I'm scared.
Speaker: I'm nervous.
Speaker: Let me put this out.
Speaker: Even five to six minute clips like that is a podcast episode.
Speaker: You should put that out.
Speaker: I get more hits when I think I had a discussion about the shadow side of being kind to something.
Speaker: And people are like, we love that episode.
Speaker: And it's like, because I'm speaking from my natural instinct.
Speaker: And sometimes your guests can't really give you what you want them because maybe they can't tap in as deep as you would.
Speaker: And then it's just about, you know, just being consistent, like you said.
Speaker: But by the way, people listening go to a podcast and you're on your own Apple podcast.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm on all of these different networks.
Speaker: So I upload it through Spotify for podcasters and then it uploads to Spotify, Apple, Google.
Speaker: Click it, connect.
Speaker: This is our episode and stay in tune.
Speaker: Let's move the conversation to spirituality.
Speaker: You know, I was picking up on some...
Speaker: information that you you gave me before the show um before this episode and you talked about eft tapping you talked about angel numbers and just being spiritual in general so let's get into like angel numbers like what are angel numbers to you i know what they are and how often do you see them and what numbers do you see more than not
Speaker: So angel numbers to me, and I'm still learning as well, because it's still kind of new for me.
Speaker: I think I've been seeing angel numbers for like a year, almost two years now.
Speaker: I don't know, it just randomly started happening.
Speaker: But to me, they're like the way the universe communicates to me.
Speaker: So if I, and again, I'm not like,
Speaker: for the people at home, I'm not looking for numbers.
Speaker: Like I'm not saying, oh, I'm looking for, you know, 444 today.
Speaker: No, I'm literally just going about my day and I could like literally, let's say I'm editing and then I just stop at a time code.
Speaker: Like this happened yesterday.
Speaker: I saw like literally 222 and I was like, okay.
Speaker: Like, and that's just me naturally doing my job at work.
Speaker: But yeah, they're like, they're messages.
Speaker: And a lot of it to me communicates like,
Speaker: change, new beginnings, staying on track.
Speaker: And it's the right amount of encouragement that I need.
Speaker: Because for me, just with my background and a lot of other stuff, sometimes I do need a lot of assurance and sometimes I get down just like everyone else.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: But when I do see those numbers and I'm able to go and look something up in Google, okay, what does this mean?
Speaker: and then kind of see how it parallels, then I'm like, okay, I'm on the right track.
Speaker: And I just kind of follow my intuition that way.
Speaker: And as far as like what I see, like, oh God, like it's been extreme lately, but I've been seeing two, two, two a lot.
Speaker: So
Speaker: I know someone told me that it means like new relationships coming in, stuff like that.
Speaker: Definitely one, one, one, 11, 11.
Speaker: I'll see 10, 10, 12, 12, four, four, four, three, three, three.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like going down the line.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So, and sometimes there'll be like several that will really stick out to me.
Speaker: Another one has been five, five, five recently.
Speaker: But yeah.
Speaker: And again, I just like let it all happen.
Speaker: And there'll be times where I'll be like, mom, did you just see that?
Speaker: And she's like, no, what are you talking about?
Speaker: I'm like, look, it's one-on-one.
Speaker: She's like, I didn't even notice.
Speaker: Like, I don't ever see that.
Speaker: So yeah, that's just the way like I receive downloads and messages.
Speaker: And even like, again, I think I mentioned this like through crows, like, and again, I know some people might think.
Speaker: Oh yeah, yeah, spiritual totem.
Speaker: Spiritual totem.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, and like it happened about like, I want to say two years ago.
Speaker: It was a little bit right before my brother passed where like I was walking and there was like this crow sitting on this sign and then like all of a sudden like I walked past it and then it just like flew over my head and then it came just like circling back and kept flying over me like really low.
Speaker: And then there's just been other times like
Speaker: this is so bizarre, I recently let go of a friendship.
Speaker: And as she was like walking away, like inside, a crow like was literally by her foot.
Speaker: And so it's just, there's like a lot of things that happen, like so many instances that I can talk about with that too.
Speaker: And so when I see, when crows come out like that, I know like a huge change is coming and usually,
Speaker: Whether it's a death of something, which it doesn't have to be a death of a person, right?
Speaker: It could be a death of something that's toxic and no longer needed, a new beginning.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, and I also think, you know, angel numbers is God's way of communicating to us through the universe.
Speaker: And I always say numbers don't lie, you know, 222, 333, 444.
Speaker: And people pay attention to the numbers you see.
Speaker: You're not seeing them by accident.
Speaker: It's trying to communicate something to you and to transition to totems.
Speaker: If you look up, people listening, if you look up the word totem, T-O-T-E-M,
Speaker: They call them spiritual totem, but if you see like an incest or animal or something just abruptly or just constantly keep seeing it.
Speaker: Like I was in my jacuzzi at my building like three weeks ago and a mockingbird kept spinning around me.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: I'm like, what is this like?
Speaker: And it was just like, let go, trust, newness and all these things.
Speaker: So basically they were messengers.
Speaker: through God, through the universe, to communicate to us.
Speaker: And they come in different forms, numbers, animals, like you said, your spiritual animal totem is a crow.
Speaker: So people look it up, so important.
Speaker: And I love how in tune you are with yourself because
Speaker: that thing, those things give you more leverage than an average person because you're aware of the awareness, right?
Speaker: You're like, oh, okay, two, two, two.
Speaker: That's interesting.
Speaker: Oh, I saw it again today.
Speaker: I keep seeing this crow instead of about you're paying attention to the signs and the symbols that the universe has given to you to communicate things that you might need.
Speaker: And sometimes, you know, people who, you know, you mentioned your brother, you know, God bless his soul.
Speaker: Sometimes people who pass away to go to the other side, they come back and communicate through those things as well, depending on who it is, what it is, whatever that relationship is to that person.
Speaker: So it's just something to always, you know, just to be aware of when you're moving through life, because we get so distracted.
Speaker: Social media, the news, life, our problems, the things are not happening.
Speaker: But that's great that you can have that part of your tool, spiritual toolbox.
Speaker: Let's talk about EFT tapping.
Speaker: I think the first time I was aware of that was on a documentary called Heal.
Speaker: It's called Heal.
Speaker: And the lady was like tapping on a young woman's like top of her like eyebrow.
Speaker: And I was like, what is she doing?
Speaker: So can you kind of give us some more like, can you elaborate on like what is EFT tapping and what are the benefits?
Speaker: Yeah, so like tapping on your meridian points, I hope I'm pronouncing that name right.
Speaker: So like, you know, you'll see people do this and they'll say, what's that phrase?
Speaker: Even though I don't love myself today, I fully appreciate
Speaker: Like you call a thing a thing when you're tapping and then you say you deeply and completely love yourself.
Speaker: So to me, it's like a direct form of honesty.
Speaker: Again, I'm no expert, but who I do like following is tap with Brad Yates.
Speaker: I used to be like really heavily into it, but I'll tap like now here and there again, especially if I feel like I need it.
Speaker: Because to me, it really like clears out the...
Speaker: things like it, it makes you relaxed again.
Speaker: I really do believe it does help like your limiting beliefs.
Speaker: And especially if you have a lot of trauma, I have a lot of trauma.
Speaker: And so it's helped me just kind of take things to the next level.
Speaker: Because to me, like therapy is phenomenal.
Speaker: I'm not knocking therapy, but
Speaker: At that point, when I've done so much therapy, I need something more like there's something a component that was missing.
Speaker: So when I was searching for things, I was like, OK, yeah, let me try this out.
Speaker: And then it's worked for me.
Speaker: And now I've kind of taken on like journaling.
Speaker: Yeah, because it's, you know, it's releasing and releasing energy, right?
Speaker: I have an energy healer.
Speaker: She gave me something a while ago and said, write a letter to anybody that you have any resentment, any anger or any hatred towards, like write and really yell at them in the letter.
Speaker: Talk crazy, however you probably wouldn't in person because it's, you know, negative, but really write it out, get it out of your system.
Speaker: And then at the end, you know,
Speaker: erase it, set it on fire, shred it, say you bless and release whatever that message was.
Speaker: That's just you clearing energy and air from your soul, from your body to get out any stagnant emotions or negative emotions that might be holding you back mentally or emotionally.
Speaker: So all those things work.
Speaker: Let me ask you a question.
Speaker: What is it about therapy that you think works, but in the long run, doesn't help?
Speaker: So I hear a lot of people say they love therapy, but it's always a but.
Speaker: For me, I love, how can I put it?
Speaker: I love, if I'm gonna do therapy, I'm going to wanna do it with a psychologist, not a counselor.
Speaker: And I'm not knocking counselors, I've had therapies from counselors, but when I had my psychologist, she was really able to help put things in a logical way for me, because sometimes I could process like trauma and stuff logically.
Speaker: if that makes sense.
Speaker: And so like, she was like, okay, think of it this way.
Speaker: Like with the trauma, your brain's like spaghetti, you're straightening the noodles, you're pulling them apart to make sense of things.
Speaker: And no one really told me that before.
Speaker: It was just like, okay, here's an assignment, you know, write a
Speaker: you know, here's how you can make new friends for the day since that's your goal.
Speaker: And that's fine.
Speaker: Like when I was 15, I was at that stage of my life.
Speaker: I'm like, okay, I want to make friends or, oh, I'm healing from this.
Speaker: But it, I don't know.
Speaker: It just, to me, again, after just doing years and years of it, there's only so much I can talk about.
Speaker: And then I just felt like,
Speaker: I wasn't being challenged enough, if that makes sense.
Speaker: So I really just wanted to challenge myself to be like, okay, what am I willing to work on?
Speaker: And what other ways can I find to really heal from this?
Speaker: Because I'm doing all of this therapy, but it's something is just still not clicking.
Speaker: So yeah, I...
Speaker: For me, I just think it wasn't challenging enough.
Speaker: I think it also depends on who you see because there is a difference between a psychologist and counselor and to me, quite frankly, if I didn't have that psychologist, I don't think I would have even had the
Speaker: the discernment to really even seek out more spiritual stuff.
Speaker: So it's, it's still kind of connects, but yeah, I hope.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Depending on the culture, the background, if they can relate, you know, someone who doesn't come from, you know, inner city environment probably couldn't relate to your trauma if they grew up in a certain way.
Speaker: And one thing I want the listeners and even you to kind of understand is that
Speaker: having knowledge around something is great, but if you can't integrate that and embody the experience of what that knowledge is, or never had the experience, it's hard to make the connection.
Speaker: And that's what I've learned over time because I've read a lot of books and done a lot of things, but sometimes if there's something a little subtle I haven't experienced, you're not really able to make that defined connection where someone, like, yeah, I know what that's like.
Speaker: Like,
Speaker: I was raised by a single mother.
Speaker: I know this like to grow up for a single mom.
Speaker: You get what I'm saying?
Speaker: So I can relate to you.
Speaker: That's why I asked the question, right?
Speaker: Where my mom
Speaker: was always there, but she was always in her masculine, right?
Speaker: I don't really get to see my mom being soft.
Speaker: I remember being on a show and she crying, like, man, what the hell are you crying for?
Speaker: You never cried, right?
Speaker: Like, what are you crying for?
Speaker: Like, huh?
Speaker: I'm just like surprised.
Speaker: And so those things, relatability, vulnerability, we can connect because it's relatable.
Speaker: I think therapists are great in every aspect.
Speaker: And I think what most people don't, they don't get the most benefit
Speaker: It's because the therapist probably doesn't create the space or maybe they don't know how to tap in to get the real truth out of the person.
Speaker: Because people are afraid to be the bad person, right?
Speaker: I get my clients to tell me, no, no, no, no.
Speaker: This person did this.
Speaker: Do you hate them right now?
Speaker: Well, no, no, no, no.
Speaker: Do you hate them?
Speaker: It's okay.
Speaker: Let's get it out, right?
Speaker: It's all about getting all the dark, all the shadow stuff out so it's not suppressing your real emotions where you can't really be yourself because if you don't, then it slips out in different ways.
Speaker: You get what I'm saying?
Speaker: And I think it's important.
Speaker: But you're doing all the things, and I'm here to tell you, you're going to win in life.
Speaker: No matter where you go, you're winning now.
Speaker: But I see you.
Speaker: I see the trajectory of where you're going in your career as a journalist, as a speaker.
Speaker: Because you think.
Speaker: I always tell people, it's not what you do.
Speaker: It's how you think is what's going to make someone successful.
Speaker: How you think will probably have you quantum leap steps opposed to someone who's just logical about
Speaker: doing everything the right way, which is fine.
Speaker: But if you think differently,
Speaker: you might be able to get more out of life, right?
Speaker: I wanna talk, cause we didn't get to talk about this.
Speaker: What makes a great story?
Speaker: So there's a book, I think it's about Peter Gerber.
Speaker: He like started Sony back in the day.
Speaker: And he has a book called, Tell Your Story to Win.
Speaker: And most people who get high engagement or people who make money speaking, it's cause they know how to tell a great story.
Speaker: From a journalist perspective, what makes a great story?
Speaker: What just keeps coming to my mind is like just aiming for the heart.
Speaker: And there's actually a book I need to finish.
Speaker: I think it's his name is Al Tompkins, Aim for the Heart.
Speaker: And he's like a renowned journalist.
Speaker: But like I said, like really just...
Speaker: A part of it, half the battle is really researching.
Speaker: And it's not just like glancing at an Instagram profile or just like finding a few articles.
Speaker: It's like for me, I'm looking for like keywords.
Speaker: Like if there's a keyword that stands out to me or like a phrase that you're saying or like a specific incident that you put, I'm going to probably look into that and be like, oh, OK, I have a question around that.
Speaker: Yeah, to me, aiming for the heart and just being willing to go deep.
Speaker: Again, I'm not a professional, in my opinion.
Speaker: I do my own thing now.
Speaker: I don't even like to attach the title.
Speaker: I'm just Kristen doing what Kristen wants to do.
Speaker: But to me, it's about aiming for the heart, just digging deep, willing to research, willing to take a risk with the question you're going to ask, willing to just really look at the details.
Speaker: don't miss the details and I think that's what I always just try to remind myself um and usually when I don't miss the details I get a pretty you know insightful interview um again not everyone's gonna interview the same or whatever but um yeah and I would say too the way like you creatively ask things so sometimes I'll like up my verbiage or um
Speaker: Yeah, just ask it in a different way and kind of use stronger keywords in that sense.
Speaker: But even then with that, I did have to learn when I worked as a producer to kind of also keep it a little bit just a little bit basic too in some regard, being more concise and stuff.
Speaker: So yeah, I would even add in concise too.
Speaker: So yeah.
Speaker: The heart is important because, you know, emotions, that's how people market.
Speaker: They market to our emotions and our feelings.
Speaker: They don't market to, like, how, you know, things we think.
Speaker: We think about how do you feel?
Speaker: Oh, this cookie looks good or this car looks nice.
Speaker: You talk about trauma a lot in this episode, and I'm really curious, what is the trauma in your life that is undone that you're still working through right now, if you care?
Speaker: Um, ooh.
Speaker: I'll just give a recent example with a friendship.
Speaker: Like I, God, I'm even, I'm still hurt.
Speaker: Like again, I know no one's perfect, but this was the best friend I had for four years.
Speaker: And to me, it was kind of confusing because people will do nice things for you, but it doesn't mean that they truly have your back.
Speaker: And so there were like things, there were huge red flags, but I was like, okay, well maybe, you know, and then I tried to forgive, right?
Speaker: Because I'm like, okay, but she's still been there for this.
Speaker: She was there for my brother's death.
Speaker: It was all of these different things.
Speaker: Oh, she's like my travel buddy.
Speaker: And you kind of latch on to each other, right?
Speaker: But...
Speaker: Yeah, I've really been undoing that because, I mean, honest to God, like yesterday, more truth bombs came up and I had to be honest with people and be like, hey, you know what?
Speaker: I'm tired of like gatekeeping her lies.
Speaker: I'm tired of lying to you.
Speaker: This is what's happening.
Speaker: And then I find out there was stuff said about me and there were like all of these lies that have been told, like,
Speaker: claims like saying, oh, your family member said this or this happened.
Speaker: And so you find out like it's been a bunch of lies and now you don't know what to believe.
Speaker: And so it's hurtful.
Speaker: And again, I'm not going to blame her for every single thing, right?
Speaker: I'm not perfect.
Speaker: no friendship is, but that's one thing I've really been undoing is, you know, really learning how to trust in a friendship again, because that was like, I mean, I talked about some deep stuff with her, like really deep, like I really gave her my loyalty because I'm big on loyalty.
Speaker: That's another principle on him, John.
Speaker: And, you know, I can ride hard and die hard for people.
Speaker: So, like, if you tell me you have an issue with someone, I'm going to still respect them.
Speaker: But I'm like, okay, I'm on your side.
Speaker: Like, you know, I got your back, all that stuff.
Speaker: So I'm learning that.
Speaker: And, you know, and it's a good thing to be passionate and intense in a way.
Speaker: Like my mom would say I'm intense.
Speaker: But at the same time, like,
Speaker: I'm having to learn how to put up the boundary.
Speaker: And so that's just been a big thing.
Speaker: And then just other trauma stuff, like just still reckoning things.
Speaker: Like I'm still trying to heal over my brother's death because it's hard because I didn't get enough time with him.
Speaker: For people who don't know, like we have the same dad, but we don't, we have different moms.
Speaker: And so, yeah, just not really fully being aware of what was going on.
Speaker: Like,
Speaker: How did he transition?
Speaker: Someone took his life.
Speaker: Mm, mm, mm, okay.
Speaker: I don't even want to.
Speaker: No, we ain't got to go.
Speaker: But it's a very frustrating experience.
Speaker: There we go.
Speaker: Let it out.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: And he passed at 17, so.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: And as an older sister, I'm sad I wasn't there.
Speaker: And I feel like I should have acted on things more.
Speaker: Have you forgiven yourself?
Speaker: I'm still in that process.
Speaker: So that's why I'm a little bit like shaken up to like really kind of be talking about this because I'm really like private.
Speaker: Yeah, that's you healing.
Speaker: You healing from it.
Speaker: You grieving.
Speaker: You gotta let it out.
Speaker: It's all right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So...
Speaker: A lot of people just, yeah, they don't know.
Speaker: Like I've really been battling that.
Speaker: It bothers me.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: But yeah, that's been like the main thing is like, okay, I wasn't there.
Speaker: And I had this weird feeling for like two years.
Speaker: I just, I was like, I'm worried about him and I couldn't.
Speaker: And then like a few months before he passed, I told my ex best friend, I was like,
Speaker: I feel like I'm going to lose one of my siblings soon.
Speaker: And I was like, I feel like it's going to be one of my brothers.
Speaker: And I was always just worried about my brothers and especially him.
Speaker: I was always worried about him.
Speaker: And then, yeah, it just, it just happened.
Speaker: And it was just like,
Speaker: Damn, and like to know that he just bled out so fucking fast, like he couldn't even get DOA, like dead on the scene, dead on rival, like not even a fighting chance at that point.
Speaker: And so I just, sometimes you're like, where do we fucking go wrong?
Speaker: Where did we go wrong?
Speaker: Like, did I fail?
Speaker: But then again, I have to realize I'm not his parents either.
Speaker: I'm not his parent and there's only so much I could have done, but I'm so used as an older sibling, you're used to being someone's almost like the parent figure, especially like in a single household, right?
Speaker: So like with my sister, I'm used to washing over her and like telling her, hey, we gotta do this because if we don't do this, then we're in trouble and all of that.
Speaker: Like you feel obligated and you're always kind of taught, okay, you're the oldest, you gotta set the example.
Speaker: So yeah, I'm still forgiving myself.
Speaker: And like I mentioned in the chat, like I'm trying to be there for my other siblings because for a while I was so focused on him.
Speaker: Are you the oldest?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, I didn't know that.
Speaker: I thought Alex was the oldest.
Speaker: No, no, I'm the oldest.
Speaker: Alex is the second oldest.
Speaker: And then Orbit, the one who passed, is the third oldest.
Speaker: And then you got Ash and then Daniel, who's also in the group.
Speaker: He's the youngest.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, it's hard.
Speaker: I mean, you know, it's hard taking on a responsibility.
Speaker: I would say just outside, just feeling everything you was speaking on.
Speaker: I think that moment was needed.
Speaker: So thank you for being vulnerable in that moment.
Speaker: However, I think the big thing I took away is that your intuition is spot on.
Speaker: you must lean more into that when you feel that.
Speaker: I don't care if it's me, people you don't even know.
Speaker: Because I think, I would say 90% of people in the world do not really listen to the intuition enough because sometimes it don't make sense, especially if it's something like, you don't think something right, you don't wanna put that energy out or you don't wanna be a burden.
Speaker: You gotta listen to your intuition because that is God sending you a signal to your body.
Speaker: Like, hey, guess what?
Speaker: Check in.
Speaker: And so I would encourage you to like really like so now it makes sense why you're into like angel numbers, EFT tapping, spiritual, because you're dialed in, you tuned in, you tapped in.
Speaker: It's just all about really listening to that sound or that call and then taking action on it.
Speaker: Because not saying that you would have you're not in control of his fate or his life.
Speaker: Not saying like something would be different, but that's a sign to say you knew what you were feeling and it wasn't wrong.
Speaker: and just trust you for that, you know?
Speaker: Even with yourself, you know?
Speaker: It's not easy when you're in a... I think we did your life path number, you're 22, right?
Speaker: Yeah, so 22s, I'm an 11.
Speaker: Anybody that have a master number, people who know about numerology, master numbers, you've been here several times in this lifetime, in this world several times.
Speaker: So you have a stronger spirit of discernment, if we say, or knowing, and you go through a lot of emotional and spiritual pain that others might not endure.
Speaker: And so you're hit with a lot of things that you don't want to face.
Speaker: emotionally, mentally, spiritually, myself included.
Speaker: So it's not that it's not going to be easy.
Speaker: You just have a bigger purpose.
Speaker: And so that's all.
Speaker: And it's part of your Dharma.
Speaker: It's part of where you're going.
Speaker: It's part of who you are.
Speaker: And then you get on these stages and you speak to people about this and you speak to young kids and, you know, cadet officers, because you were a cadet at a school, you know.
Speaker: people can really tune in and listen to what you have to say because it has meaning and it has power and passion.
Speaker: So that was, you know, it was tough, it's your brother, but at the same time, he's speaking through you.
Speaker: Like, sis, I love you.
Speaker: Thank you for trying to be there for me, but when it's my time, it's my time, you know?
Speaker: And I think that's the hardest thing is to like hold onto people
Speaker: when they're not, when they want to leave, when they want to leave us.
Speaker: And I think that's what I'm saying.
Speaker: And he definitely made a choice to get involved in street life.
Speaker: So when you do that too, you live by it and die by it.
Speaker: And this is up in Colorado, right?
Speaker: No, this was down in Georgia.
Speaker: And so again, like just that distance like killed me because again, had I known like a lot of this mess was going on, I definitely would have tried to do more.
Speaker: But again, I'm not his parent.
Speaker: And again, that's something that I'm sure his parents have been resolving.
Speaker: I know my dad is
Speaker: sort of resolving it, but in his own special way.
Speaker: I'm not going to get into how he processes things, but... Nothing's the most important thing when you, that separation like that, because I thought you guys were in the same vicinity.
Speaker: I think the biggest thing you can do is pray.
Speaker: That's why I think prayer is such a powerful weapon to use.
Speaker: You know, my family's on the East Coast, and when things arise, all I can do is put spiritual, you know, prowess on it and have trust and faith, and that's enough, because...
Speaker: sometimes you're not supposed to be present for whatever reason maybe you're being protected from something um but if you do that i believe that's enough and the rest is out of your hand i mean you can only do that so much even though you're the big you're the big sister you're the older sister right like i don't know what it's like to be the older siblings i'm a middle child so that's a different type of responsibility but i do know about caring about people more than they care for themselves so um
Speaker: But yeah, Kristen, this episode was amazing.
Speaker: Is there anything you want to share before we log off?
Speaker: Anything you want to say?
Speaker: By the way, I want to know, give people listening that's going after their dreams, what would be some inspiration or motivation you can give them?
Speaker: Because I feel like you're in your dream of chasing it, pursuing it, having it, and even growing.
Speaker: What is some inspiration or motivation you can give someone?
Speaker: Um, just find a way not to stop.
Speaker: Like if you really know this is what you're supposed to do, just, just do it.
Speaker: Even if you do like a baby step and even if you just keep falling off, just keep getting back up.
Speaker: Cause it's not going to be easy.
Speaker: And I'm definitely in the thick of things.
Speaker: And especially for me, I can be very impatient.
Speaker: And so too, I would also say, don't give up, but be patient, like really wait for stuff to come through.
Speaker: Like stuff is slowly coming through for me.
Speaker: And again, that's the beauty of kind of co-creating with the universe per se.
Speaker: At least that's how I'm really starting to slowly see everything now.
Speaker: But yeah, just go for it.
Speaker: Like as my friend Sly would say, live outlandishly.
Speaker: He talks about living outlandishly.
Speaker: So yeah, just have those outlandish dreams.
Speaker: Really just do it.
Speaker: Don't really look for the outside validation because that's something I had started to look for.
Speaker: And again, I'm sure everyone's heard this.
Speaker: Not everyone's going to understand your vision.
Speaker: So yeah.
Speaker: just keep persisting and eventually you will find your tribe and stuff will come to you and yeah, it's better to know that you at least die trying than not try at all, right?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, so why not just go do it?
Speaker: And like,
Speaker: I know I've heard you say it only takes that one person to say yes.
Speaker: And I will say once I had that interview with you, I was like, okay, now I'm really starting to, I felt like a spark.
Speaker: And I was like, okay, well, if I can have him on my show, well, then who else can I get on my show?
Speaker: Like, you know, that was motivating for me and other breakthroughs happened too.
Speaker: But yeah, that was a, that was one of the biggest breakthroughs.
Speaker: It was like, okay, yeah.
Speaker: I'm a real person.
Speaker: I know what pain is.
Speaker: I know what success is.
Speaker: I know what love is.
Speaker: I know it all in a space where I can relate and not make people feel like, oh, I'm this person that was on the show, had this opportunity.
Speaker: I'm just like you.
Speaker: I just figured out a way spiritually, mentally, emotionally to
Speaker: travel and grow and i'm still growing like no one's where we want to be but we're where we need to be uh i do want to say we didn't get to talk about these two words but before we get off because this is part of your podcast humble beginnings humanity and humility can you break down those two words give you a synopsis of both of them and what it means and why it's important
Speaker: Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker: So humility, definitely I think it's about being grateful, being gracious enough to submit.
Speaker: And again, I'm not saying like to downplay yourself, right?
Speaker: To me, like just being willing to is a part of just being humble.
Speaker: And humanity, humanity and, you know, again, like I said, I think I mentioned earlier, I'm still like honest to God trying to define it.
Speaker: It just, it stuck with me.
Speaker: And so, yeah, but as far as humility, that's how I see it as of now.
Speaker: Again, that can change, so.
Speaker: No, I just think they're powerful words put together.
Speaker: And I saw that on a shirt, I would buy it.
Speaker: Humanity and humility, right?
Speaker: Because humanity in my eyes is the world of collective consciousness.
Speaker: Humility is, like you said, having gratitude, right?
Speaker: Being grateful.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Getting to someone or entity or thing to learn, right?
Speaker: So those two together, H and H, humanity and humility allows you to grow.
Speaker: and glow and become more.
Speaker: And I just think it's just profound how you put those together.
Speaker: It kind of stood out to me when I was reading the bio, but this was great.
Speaker: Kristen, you are amazing.
Speaker: You're going to continue to do amazing things in the universe and the world.
Speaker: Continue to tap in angel numbers, EFTs.
Speaker: Listen to that intuition and people download, go to her podcast, Humble Beginnings and listen and she'll be with you.
Speaker: So Kristen, again, thank you.
Speaker: This was beautiful.
Speaker: Have a phenomenal, phenomenal evening and I'll see you soon.
Speaker: Thanks.
