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🏡 Retirement Lifestyle: Less Crap, More Adventures, Better Friends, and Black Friday! 🛍️
718 Plays4 days ago
🎉 Retirement lifestyle is more than financial independence—it’s about building meaningful relationships, embracing adventures, and creating a life focused on joy and simplicity. David, Carla, and Eric Cooper chat about emotional and practical shifts that come with retirement and how to make the most of your time and resources.
Watch and Subscribe on YouTube
🌟 We share insights on crafting a fulfilling retirement lifestyle, navigating friendships as adults, and even touch on the quirks of Black Friday shopping in retirement!
In this episode, we discuss:
1️⃣ Transitioning to Retirement: How to leave behind high-stress work and embrace a purpose-filled retirement.
2️⃣ Financial Stability: Balancing market fluctuations with smart withdrawal strategies and rental income.
3️⃣ Mindset Shifts: Moving from accumulation to spending and finding fulfillment in experiences.
4️⃣ Making Adult Friendships: How to build meaningful connections in the FI community and beyond.
5️⃣ Less Crap, More Adventures: Why prioritizing experiences over things creates a richer retirement.
📜 Eric Cooper Quotes:
💡 "The easiest way I have found to meet friends as an adult is to attend in-person FI meetings, whether that’s a local Choose FI group meetup, or in my case, I went to Camp FI my very first week of retirement." — Eric Cooper
🌍 "Less crap, more adventures. That’s my mantra." — Eric Cooper
🔗 Eric’s Links:
🏕️ CampFI
🔗 David’s Links:
🏡 Retirement Lifestyle: Building a Meaningful Life After Work
🍏 Forget About Money on Apple Podcast
🎧 Forget About Money on Spotify
#retirementplanning #retireearly #financialindependence
🎧 Listen & Subscribe: Don’t miss more episodes about crafting your ideal retirement lifestyle! Hit subscribe and the bell icon 🔔 to stay updated.
📜 Disclaimer: This episode is for entertainment and informational purposes only and does not constitute financial advice. Consult with a professional for personalized guidance.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Forget About Money'
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to the Forget About Money podcast where we discuss a money related topic and then forget about money and entertain ourselves for the rest of the episode. I'm here with Carla and Eric Cooper. Today we are going to discuss the retirement lifestyle. Eric is here because he's retired. I am retired and Carla is all but retired. So it should be interesting to have a couple of different perspectives that maybe you will find valuable. Welcome, Eric.
00:00:29
Speaker
Thank you. Great to be here. I'm excited to see you guys. Hey, Carla. Hey, Ben. Hi. We're so excited that you're here today hanging out with us. Yeah, I think this is going to be a fun episode, guys. Yeah, thanks for having me. Let's start with what you retired from, Eric. You know, I retired from a job that that was stressful. It was political. I was director of communication for a pilot union. So my bosses were all union elected officials. And every year there was an election for a new boss. So you can imagine
00:01:02
Speaker
not knowing who your bosses were going to be in the coming years and the tension that
Eric's Stressful Job and Retirement Decision
00:01:07
Speaker
comes along with that. And somehow I made it through that career for 22 and a half years before I decided that I had had enough and I was ready to retire. And I think the breaking point for me was going into COVID and realizing that I did like being at home. I was not afraid of being at home. So when they told us that we were coming back to the office, I knew right then and there that I wasn't happy about that idea. so i So I did go into the office a few times and going back in immediately, it was it was awkward and didn't feel good. So I went to the economy conference and this was in 2021 toward the end of 2021. And the week I returned from that conference, I sent my letter of resignation to my boss and I have not regretted that decision one bit.
00:01:56
Speaker
That's so exciting. and Yeah. Yeah. It's those stressful jobs. I can definitely relate. I had a pretty high stress job too. And the feeling of just leaving that all behind is absolutely amazing. So I'm so glad you got to do that too. So I feel like the big question is when you do retire from
Transition into Retirement and New Relationship
00:02:13
Speaker
something, right? We're always talking in the fight community about you have to retire to something as well. So can you talk a little bit about that and what you feel like you have retired to and how that's felt?
00:02:23
Speaker
Yeah, I think I could speak to that a little bit. So going into retirement is a little different. I feel like it has changed a lot. It's a constant change from what I started out doing, which was a lot of projects, a lot of travel. You know, I've been to this year alone, 13 countries. So I've done a ah good share of travel, which is amazing.
00:02:46
Speaker
But it's also tiring and you get to the point where you're like, OK, I just need to slow down a little bit. So I'm trying to do that. I'm trying to to pause a bit. And also I have a relationship that started this year, which is changing the dynamics of my retirement quite a bit. Most people, you know, they they start having children early in life and they they do all these things. Well, now I'm kind of in the reverse situation because my partner has two twin boys who are 13 and a daughter who's eight.
00:03:13
Speaker
So for me, I tried to help him out as much as possible. He
Becoming a Stepfather and New Family Dynamics
00:03:18
Speaker
lives about an hour and 20 minutes away and he's a single dad and he runs his own business. So now I kind of am helping with running the kids to school when I'm in town with him or making dinner when he's working or or doing the things that I can in a supportive role that I otherwise wouldn't be able to do.
00:03:39
Speaker
And I know that's a luxury that retirement affords me because he's still working. The kids are still in school. So a lot of my time, extra time is spent with them, which is great. I really enjoy it. But it was unexpected. I never anticipated that I would be in a position where I could be a stepfather. In fact, if I can tell just a really quick story, I was at the fire retreat in Bali just a couple of weeks ago.
00:04:04
Speaker
And the Donegans did an exercise asking us to take a look at what identities we were assigned by society, by our family, by friends. And the identity that was assigned to me is that I would never be a parent. I remember when I came out to my mom at 24 years old, she the first words out of her mouth were, that's the death of my grandchildren.
00:04:27
Speaker
Oh my gosh. Right. So it's that's that's pretty big. Like right there, she assigned that I would never be a parent. Wow. So in a sense, you know, in 1998, when I came out, you couldn't get married, you couldn't have kids. It just wasn't even a possibility. So I see why she felt that. I do. I get it. But now, 25 years later,
00:04:48
Speaker
It's an opportunity that I have to be a step parent and to get married if I wish. So my direction is really transitioning and it's a really positive thing and I'm embracing it. But yeah, it's different. It's exciting. Man, I love it so much.
00:05:03
Speaker
Thank you. Is your mother still around? No, she passed away a year after we had that conversation, less than a year. Oh my gosh. Wow. Yeah. What do you think she would think of now? Oh, she'd be excited. These kids are so amazing. They're smart and funny. They're they're really genuine and caring. Both of their parents are just phenomenal people and they created amazing children. so I think my mom would absolutely love them. And I wish she would have the the opportunity to meet them and and see where I am in life. Yeah. How long how long has it been since you've retired?
Filling Days in Retirement
00:05:39
Speaker
ah Three years. It'll be three years in January. Okay. So you you and I are roughly around the same time we retired. Yeah.
00:05:45
Speaker
and People often ask, as you just alluded to, like, how do you fill your days in retirement outside looking into like, Oh my gosh, since they go to work every day, you know, eight to 10, 12 hours a day, they think that we must be bored in some way. But, and that's one aspect of the conversation. But I think the other aspect of when you retire and you do have more time on your side of the equation, it allows for the flexibility to not necessarily say, I'm going to do this, this, and this to fill my day, but to live your life. And then should something come along, that fills your day.
00:06:16
Speaker
In your case, you're able to drive an hour and 20 minutes to support the people that you love and be there as a positive resource for those people that you care about. And you're bringing value to their lives. Absolutely. And I can't think that if I were still working full time and a part time job and managing for rental properties myself, that I would have the capacity, the mental and emotional capacity to be there for them in the way that I am now. I just don't think it would happen. I can't fathom that that would be the case.
00:06:46
Speaker
That sounds like a really wonderful magical relationship. And yeah, I've had the joy of meeting your boyfriend and he's just thoroughly wonderful. And I'm sure his kids are as well. So yeah, that's just such a heartwarming story. And what i what a great use of all this extra time that you've freed up in retirement to build this new little family unit and get to help support these kids. And I'm sure they completely adore you as well. So yeah, that just sounds like an absolutely lovely use of your time.
00:07:15
Speaker
Before you retired, you probably had a mindset. You may have already started that transition, that mindset transition while you were still actively working. But how do you think your mindset has shifted from, let's say the last three years of working, now three years after you've retired?
00:07:32
Speaker
I was always a type A workhorse personality. Again, I had a full-time job. I had a part-time job that I would go to after my full-time job. And I had four rental properties that I self-managed. I also volunteered in various organizations and had board positions. So looking back,
00:07:49
Speaker
You know, I don't know how I did it all, but I realized that I was really burned out. I needed a break. And so I let go of those full time and part time positions. You know, I have my self managed rental properties still, and I'm looking to sell those and and take those off my plate sometime in the not too distant future. But I'm really trying to focus my time and my energy and my money on the people that matter to me.
00:08:15
Speaker
And I think that makes such a difference in life when you've got that ability and that flexibility to really focus on the things that bring you joy. And that's what I'm doing this year. I have let go of the board positions. I still have two board positions, but I've let go of the ones that didn't bring me joy.
00:08:32
Speaker
And it feels really good to step aside from that and instead focus that time and energy on the people and things that I do care about. So, you know, I'm spending more energy, more time and more money on the people I love. I'm doing some great travel and, you know, I'm doing it while I'm still young and healthy. And it's been a huge shift that allows me to focus on the people and things that I love. That's a pretty awesome answer. So I'm curious if you can talk a little bit about whether you have felt fully financially secure during this this past three years of retirement. Have there been any moments where you thought, should I splurge on that trip, for example, or I'm worried about you know just like sort of the funds flow model that you have, actual dollars that are coming in the door? Yeah, have have you felt pretty good about managing all of that, or have there been any moments of insecurity?
Managing Finances Post-Retirement
00:09:23
Speaker
Well, let me tell you, in January of 2022, I retired. And as David probably felt this as well, the market crashed. And there was a lot of uncertainty. you know We were coming out of COVID. The the market just absolutely tanked. My 401k was essentially cut in half. And I was in mostly tech stocks at the time. I wasn't doing low cost index funds like we're we're supposed to be doing.
00:09:47
Speaker
You know, and the market kept falling through 2022 and it didn't slowly start rebuilding until January of 2023. And I didn't feel financially insecure at that point, despite those huge drops, because I know that I was living off of my rental property income at the time. I wasn't even touching my 401k or any money that I had in savings.
00:10:10
Speaker
my bills were all being paid and I was still doing some great travel just on my rental property and income. So as the market started to rebound, I decided in December of 2023, almost two full years into retirement, that I would do a 72T allowing me to tap into some funds in my 401K for the first time. So I created a fund bucket and that first distribution was $20,000 in December of 2023, just last year.
00:10:38
Speaker
And I liked it so much and I enjoyed spending it so much that I did a second 72T in September of this year and I did another 10,000. So now I'm withdrawing $30,000 a year and those distributions will continue until I'm 59 and a half. So over the course of the next 10 years, I'll be withdrawing $300,000 in my portfolio.
00:11:01
Speaker
which is great, you know, and that's that much less money that I'll have to worry about paying down the road when we we have to pay required minimum distributions. I'm also getting to enjoy that money now with the people that matter to me. And it takes a little bit of the stress off and allows me to do fun things and treat people with the fun bucket. And it's been great, I really enjoy it.
00:11:22
Speaker
That's a fantastic way to tackle that problem. I'm curious if you let these rental properties go like you're thinking about doing. Do you think you will have more anxiety down the road if we see another big market drop?
00:11:33
Speaker
No, I don't think so. I think there's be there will be a huge cash distribution distribution once those rental but properties are sold. So I feel like I will have a big, huge cash cushion that I don't have at the moment on hand. So I do feel like I will actually have more financial security at that point. Cool. That's a good way to think about it.
00:11:53
Speaker
Let's get in some X's and O's real quick. You've got four rental properties, correct? Correct. Is your plan to sell like one per year to minimize that tax hit? My goal is to figure out by the end of this year how I want to do this. And I still don't have that clear path forward to sell my properties.
00:12:15
Speaker
I feel like I need to wait to see what's going to happen with the new administration that's coming in and what changes are going to come out of the ACA. Not that that should necessarily drive my decision, but I do get the ACA subsidies. And if I sell my properties all at once, then clearly I'll lose that subsidy. But if the ACA subsidies all go away, then it doesn't matter. I can sell them all at once and you know it's not an issue any longer.
00:12:41
Speaker
so I don't know the answer to that yet. I want to meet with some people and talk through some options and try to figure that out. For the sake of discussion, let's assume that you're going to sell one per year.
Rental Properties and Tax Considerations
00:12:51
Speaker
As you sell each property, would you would you consider taking that? And I'm only saying this because I think you probably thought through this and I'd like to hear what you're thinking. I'm just thinking through it right now for the first time.
00:13:00
Speaker
Would you take that lump sum and put it into wherever pocket of money that you're pulling that 72T distribution from and then just use that? Or would you put it into a checking account for, you know, sleep, sleep well at night money? I think part of it I will use in a checking account, just just to beef up, you know, cash on hand. The rest of it would would be invested in the market just in a brokerage account.
00:13:24
Speaker
That makes sense to me. So how often are you thinking about money these days? Is it like a once a month thing where you kind of just check in or is it a daily thing for you? You know, I don't think about money that often anymore. I think about it toward the end of the month when I have to do some invoicing for the condo associations that I'm still part of. and For the work that I do for them, I think about it at the first of the month when my rent is coming in from my tenants because I want to make sure everything's paid. And I have to pay my mortgage, my credit card bills, my condo fees. And then at the end of the year, like now, taxes, property taxes are all coming due.
00:14:02
Speaker
And then I think about it as I'm planning my year ahead. I look at my taxable income this time of year. What is it looking like? What's it going to be for the coming year? How is that going to affect my ACA plan ah subsidies? So I do think about money a little bit, but not in the sense of, do I have enough? do you know Am I going to be able to pay my bills?
00:14:23
Speaker
It's more of, do I need to shift things around? Do I have enough of my checking account to cover at this point? you know I'm not stressed about money, which is a great feeling. so So what you're thinking more is like strategically you're very sound, but you still go through the tactics of money management under that, whatever your overarching strategy is. Yeah. I think for me, you know, it's also what am I going to do with my fund bucket? That's that's a fun thing to think about with money. So when I do think about money, it's also what am I going to do for Christmas gifts this year? What am I going to do for travel? Those are all good problems. So very good problems.
00:14:59
Speaker
Yeah, it sounds like you've also been tackled by Kevin Sabaste and Mark Trautman at some point. Yeah, they're great guys. Mark has been such a great inspiration for so many of us in the Fi community and it's great to see him enjoying life and traveling and being such a good role model for the rest of us who are following in his footsteps. So, Fun Bucket for All. Fun Bucket for All. I love that approach. That's great. I'm just curious, what's on tap for the Fun Bucket for 2025? Anything in the works already?
00:15:27
Speaker
Oh, geez. You know, I'm going on the five crews, the Fintox crews, which is going to be a great time. And my partner Nate is going to go. This will be his first big five event. And he's a little bit nervous. He he's new to the five communities. So everybody needs to be gentle and welcoming to him, which I know they will.
00:15:47
Speaker
But yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to that. My friend Kristin, she is a long time friend. We've been friends for 20 plus years and she joined the Fi community about two years ago. And she is now partially retired as of this year. And she decided she wants to start planning trips for the Fi community. So she created a ah website, Fi Friends Travel, and she's already got three big trips planned. One is going to be kind of appearing to Stevens, Camp Phi in Spain coming up in April and May. And then she also has a Christmas cruise down the Danube for next year. And then another trip to Morocco. So she's planning all these amazing trips that I need to look into. In fact, she and I are going to talk immediately after this call about some of those trips and whether or not that's something that I would be interested in doing.
00:16:39
Speaker
That's exciting. Yeah, if anybody's interested, go to Five Friends Travel. She's got some great great insight on the trips there, and you can learn more about those. but Yeah, I don't think they're running high on the Morocco trip. I'm excited about that one. Yeah, I would love to go on that one, too. Sounds really good. those that's That's all I got so far.
00:16:56
Speaker
Yeah, for this this coming year, i want to so I want to slow down a little bit on travel. I've got one friend that already is is doing a trip to Chile, and she is asking me to go along, so I'm going to look at that. But yeah, I'm just trying to chill a little bit this year on travel or this coming year on travel.
00:17:11
Speaker
So one curious question I have, I feel like so many of us, we spend a lot of our fun buckets on travel. That seemed to be the biggest thing. Are there any any like things, items that you actually bring into your life or your home that you would think would be a fun addition to your, to your lifestyle that would actually make a difference in your day to day life? Yeah. Any thoughts there? At some point I will want to get another car, but I'm not anywhere near that yet.
00:17:38
Speaker
Is that like a fun thing for you or is that just like a city? I love cars. I've probably had 30 cars in my life. So yes, I love cars. But yeah, I don't know. That's a tough one. I'm not a consumer consumer. Like I'm kind of an anti-consumer. So stuff doesn't make me happy. I don't like shopping. I don't enjoy that. Like that stresses me out. Yeah. so get that I like experiences.
Potential Travel Plans: Living on a Cruise Ship?
00:18:01
Speaker
So I'm all about spending on experiences, things that bring me joy, but I'm trying to get rid of stuff. Like at some point i I will probably sell my place so I don't need a bunch of stuff. The idea of living on a cruise ship for a year or two after my partner's children graduate to move out, that sounds really appealing to me, like traveling the world and just being
00:18:23
Speaker
out at sea and going port to port and exploring together. So I don't know. Those are all things that could happen down the road. And if he's up for it and we're in good health, see what happens. I do see hard wood floors in the background. You don't have like a Roomba that make your life easier. I don't. I still clean on my own and do my own cleaning. it putting my My little apron and get down and scrub.
00:18:47
Speaker
David, what about you? Are you a stuff guy at all? is Are there things that you feel like actually... I'm sorry, I got distracted with the apron visual that he just mentioned. I'm sorry, can you repeat the question? I sure can. Are you a stuff guy, David? For example, are you a big apron fan? It seems like you got distracted by that like a shiny new toy.
00:19:06
Speaker
So I never thought I was before until right now, maybe I don't know what happened there. Yeah, a stuff thing. No, I'm not a stuff person. Actually, if you were just walking to my house, you'd see very basic, but nice things. I don't have a lot of things. I don't like clutter. I was actually looking at a ah shelf that I have. It's actually just like a bar table, and like a high top table. Usually I want like to keep like four or five things, but I think two more things gone. I'm like, should I take those two things off of that too? One, just get rid of them. It might be too much for, for visually aesthetics.
Experiences vs. Material Goods: What's Worth Spending On?
00:19:35
Speaker
I'd be messing. This might be messing with my chi or whatever it is. But fan shui effectively me i'm not sure how you say that but I do. yeah That's probably.
00:19:43
Speaker
more correct. I do believe that if you use something, spend money on it, like spend, buy something nice. Like if you spend a lot of time sitting on a couch, I'm not advocating that, but if you do, don't buy an IKEA couch. Go buy something that's going to last 20 years that you're going to enjoy and be comfortable with. If you're replacing and an appliance in your house and you're going to be in the house for 10 years or more that you think, buy the best whatever that is you can buy, because You've got to deal with that every single day. And if you're actually to figure out how much that costs over time versus a cheaper model, it's probably going to be pennies more a day or dollars more a month for that item to improve your life in some way. And good coffee. I know Carla is not a coffee drinker, but not a coffee person. But I do like the smell of coffee. So I appreciate it when others make coffee around me, but I just have no interest in in drinking it.
00:20:36
Speaker
And Carla and Robert spend on games. They spend more per capita on games than any other person in the US. It's very true. I looked that up in Wikipedia. and yeah we do We do invest in board games. But yeah, I do feel like there are some objects that you can buy that actually do create experiences. And board games are like a perfect example of that. So yeah, we have so much fun and playing games with friends in fact here in Longmont just about every Friday night. I mean they we've actually been slacking a little bit lately but last Friday night we did this and I think the Friday before we did this we have ah like a standing board game night with a bunch of folks so yeah shout out to the Longmont board game crew. But yeah I feel like games are a perfect example and then the other huge one that comes to mind for me is any kind of musical instrument. I feel like getting a really
00:21:26
Speaker
good quality musical instrument adds so much dimension to your life. So is it an object or is it an experience? I don't know. You can make a case for both. You know what? That's a good point, Carl. I like music. And like as you know, like you, I prioritize music in my life. I played trumpet growing up, create a little bit of music. It's fun. It brings me a lot of joy. My son started playing trumpet this year in fifth grade and he got a trumpet assigned to him and it's a good enough trumpet for a beginner. But then he's lugging this trumpet back and forth to class so that I'm like, okay, he's going to at some point, he's either going to say, oh, I forgot it and I can't practice at home yeah or
00:22:01
Speaker
And he goes back between his mom's and my house. So I just thought that could be a potential friction point. So what I did is I just bought a cheap beginner one to keep it our house. So we just exchange it every time we exchange Quentin. So that reduces that. And and I told him if he's still playing and improving a year from now, I'll get him the next level up. And then every year I'll just give him a better trumpet but being financially independent and having the money to do that allows you to think through those kind of things is it worth a hundred and you know what i'm gonna pay with it maybe two hundred something dollars for it. I don't know it's one less friction point in my life because of it or potential friction point yeah that sounds like a very solid use of two hundred and bucks i fully support that.
00:22:42
Speaker
Eric, before you retired, you're probably on blogs and hearing stories of mostly anecdotal, because I haven't really seen too much proof in it in real life, stories about people retiring and then regretting it for whatever
No Regrets About Retiring
00:22:55
Speaker
reason. Let me ask you straight up. Do you regret retiring? No, I do not. I think there are a lot of things that that I don't like. There's politics.
00:23:05
Speaker
processed food, litter, inflation. There's a huge list, but retirement I think is a gift, early retirement is a gift that I've given myself that just keeps on giving. Like, I decide how, when, where, with whom I spend my time and energy and resources. And, you know, if there is a nagging frustration in my life, if there's something that's not right, I have to identify what that is. I have to figure out where that friction point is because there's nobody else to blame at this point like it's me it's me that's controlling my destiny at this point i'm not but i'm not looking at anybody to give me direction so i think that's pretty amazing when you think about it and it's a lot of a lot of power that you give yourself
00:23:55
Speaker
So I think people that come into retirement, early retirement, and they don't have things to look forward to or they don't have curiosities about life, they may struggle until they figure out what those paths are. I worry about my brother, he's getting ready to retire and his life looks a lot different than mine. So I hope that he finds things that he enjoys doing.
00:24:17
Speaker
But you know for the people that that do retire early and love it, it's amazing. So my my suggestion is just find a few things that you can lean into that make you comfortable and enjoy those while you're looking to develop new hobbies and new experiences. Because then you've got some things that comfort you as you lean into your retirement. Also, if you're a person that likes structure, create that structure. For me, it was finding a morning project.
00:24:45
Speaker
So I do my morning project. Then I would go to the gym. I like my physical fitness. I want to be outdoors. So work outside. Then I would come home and make my lunch. And I like a little 20 minute nap. It's a luxury I've never gotten to have. And it's amazing just to take 20 minutes and just chill.
00:25:03
Speaker
And then I have an afternoon project some days. So creating that structure really is nice because you know that you've got things that you need to do and you kind of have your eyes set on something and they don't have to be huge projects. It could be getting your bills paid. It could be getting the lawn mowed. It could be just but having something on the back burner that you know you need to get done is helpful. And I like that structure.
00:25:28
Speaker
David, what about you? You are also fully retired. I'm only semi-retired. So yeah, how have you found a way to structure your time and have you ever regretted it?
00:25:38
Speaker
I have never, oh wait, hold on. um I might have done things a little differently had I known the outcome that was inevitable for me. I had military retirement. So a military career after 20 years, you can retire and receive a pension forever until you die at least. At the time I had a family. We had plans to retire to San Diego and you have to let the military know about a year out your plans to retire.
00:26:06
Speaker
I had planned to retire anyway, but that was to relocate a family and focus on family for a while or forever. Within a few months of retiring, I was told that that family unit was in question. So if I could go back, and I'm now divorced, so if I could go back knowing that outcome, I likely would have stayed in the military for a little bit longer.
00:26:29
Speaker
hello My tra the trajectory of my career was great. Pay was great. And it would have given me a little bit more of a, I hate to say it, probably, whether it's good or bad, probably a distraction through that life transition. Do you have any sense? I believe I would have made a captain.
00:26:45
Speaker
I was commander, I would have probably made 06 within a year and a half or two years from my retirement date, which propels the income. Your pension is based on base pay, base pay goes up, your pension goes up for the rest of your life. So maybe three or four more years in would have excelled that financial picture a little bit.
00:27:02
Speaker
But am I unhappy? Absolutely not. So I don't regret retiring. um I might regret some of the life, some of the direction that my life took as far as retirement. ah Life has been pretty good. my My lifestyle has been pretty good. And and actually, I yeah think it's given me more space to deal with such ah such a transition like that.
00:27:24
Speaker
So if you had that additional income, if you'd worked those extra two or three years in the military, what do you think you'd do differently with your life? How would that extra income change your lifestyle? and likely It likely wouldn't have changed my lifestyle. It may ease some of the potential anxiety of the unknown, but other than that, it it would not have made a practical daily change, I don't think, for for my lifestyle or level of happiness, ultimately.
00:27:53
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, that sounds like you should have no records, David. If it wouldn't change your lifestyle in a meaningful way, then yeah, it sounds like maybe it worked out well. And you've had more time to dedicate to Quentin, right? That is absolutely true. so I will not regret that.
00:28:12
Speaker
Yeah, so many things to not regret. Very important. Well, should we do what the title of this podcast suggests we do and forget about money and talk about something a little bit more fun for a bit? Let's do it.
Making Friends as an Adult: Is the Fi Community the Answer?
00:28:25
Speaker
Okay. I'm actually really excited to talk about this because David, you and I had a very interesting conversation as we were preparing for this podcast. I suggested this as as a topic and that topic is basically how do you make friends as an adult? And you were just stumped by the fact that this was a problem for anyone. So David, I think you are just too cool for the rest of us. It's just so easy for you to make friends that you don't understand why this is a thing that like a lot of adults think about and actually have to put some effort into. you But yeah, I don't know. I'm curious, Eric, what is your take? Do you feel like it's easy to make friends as an adult? Is it something that you've had to put effort into? Are you like David? It's just you're just so cool. It's super easy. I'm definitely not so super cool, but it's easy.
00:29:10
Speaker
My personality, yeah i'm I'm very much a... I kind of like my own space a lot of times, and I'm a little weary about people. I think that is part of the identity I was given growing up, and I'm trying to overcome that. But I would say for me,
00:29:27
Speaker
The easiest way I have found to meet friends as an adult is to attend in-person PHY meetings, whether that's a local Choose PHY group meetup, or in my case, I went to Camp PHY my very first week of retirement in January of 2022.
00:29:43
Speaker
And I met Steven, and I met, you know, Mark Troutman, Amy Minkley, and all these people that are so, and just just so central to the Fi community. And it really shaped and changed how my retirement looks. And through that, I've met dozens and dozens of people and gone on cruises. I mean, heck, I traveled to Europe with you, Carla, and Roberts, and Keith, and and Dusty. So,
00:30:10
Speaker
It's just a really life-changing experience when you do step into the Fi community and you go to these in-person meetups and you meet these amazing people that have similar outlooks on life and similar paths and financial opportunities that that they can take advantage of.
00:30:29
Speaker
and And a lot of us love to travel too, so it's really great when you have those companions that are kind of built in. So yeah, I do think it's hard to make friends as adults outside of the Fi community. Inside of the Fi community, I think it's really easy to connect with people if you give give it an opportunity and you're not afraid to do so.
00:30:48
Speaker
But you really have to look for those events and and make the effort to attend. So if you haven't done so, go to a campfire, go to economy, do those things and meet the people that can really change your life because it it is life changing.
00:31:02
Speaker
Yeah, I could not possibly agree more. I think that's by far the best way that we have made friends. I think just about everyone that we know in long lines, with the exception of a couple of Robert's co-workers, we met them in some way, shape, or form connected through the Mr. Mini Moustache HQ where We spend a lot of time. We're there at least once a week for a weekly potluck, which we have tonight. Yeah, it's just this incredible collection of humans who just seem to have so many things in common. like it's I never have fully wrapped my head around it. like What is it about just having you know our proverbial financial stuff together that also means we have all these other weird things in common? I've never quite figured out an answer to that.
00:31:47
Speaker
But for whatever reason, it is true. It just seems to be that people who are more introverted really open up to each other, get to know each other. And yeah, just find all these things in common and that are willing to just keep doing it and doing it. And these relationships just flourish. So yeah, I think I am a huge proponent of the Fi community and getting getting out there and meeting folks in person because I think that's just a total game changer. And yeah, I mean, I can't imagine what our life would look like right now if we had not moved to Long Line, if we hadn't been to all these campfires, been on the Fintox cruise, it would be a much lonelier experience. So yeah, that's my take too. I do think there are ways outside of the Fi community, but man, that is like the ultimate life hack for me is just go to a Fi event,
00:32:35
Speaker
meet cool people, like check friendships off your to-do list for life because you'll just meet the most amazing folks. So yeah, David, do you want to, I didn't mean to throw you under the bus here a little bit, but do you want to talk about why you're so ph flummoxed as to why this is a question for most adults? Yeah, David.
00:32:54
Speaker
This is just going to be one of many topics. I think that Carla, you and I will have interesting, odd discussions about because after talking with you about it briefly, i it really hit me. I was like, why, why, why am I, why do I seem like I'm so far off the reservation on this? So anyway, that's just the way it is. Maybe i I don't, I just never feel lonely. So I never feel that void. I never feel that, and I know that somebody out there might be saying, Oh my gosh, how how's that possible? I don't know how it's possible. It's just the way it is for me. um Does that mean I don't,
00:33:24
Speaker
is desire to go out and have a chitchat with somebody sure but do you meet new people outside of the fire community on a regular basis that you become friends with as an adult. I do not intentionally go to things with the objective of making new friends, if that makes sense. So how many new friends outside of the Fi community did you make this year? and Like I've been to a campfire with you. I know you get to know people. Like I know you would seem to enjoy people. So i I don't think you're a misanthrope. I just think you this like loneliness is not something that you've ever struggled with is what it sounds like to me, which is great. Like so many people would kill to be in that position.
00:34:01
Speaker
I do think if you were to survey people who are retired and ask them what percentage of their current friends are from previous life pre-retirement versus what percentage of their friends or human connection, valuable human connections, positive value human connections are in post retirement.
00:34:20
Speaker
And I bet, I mean, it's logical to think that farther along you get into retirement that gets swayed more towards a higher percentage of friendships made after. But Eric, do you are you do you have any close relationships with people that you worked with or pre-retirement that you met through work? Not something like not like a high school buddy or a college friend?
00:34:37
Speaker
Yeah, we still have a group that gets together. I'm actually having lunch with one of my former coworkers on Thursday of this week. I'm really looking forward to it. We're going to celebrate both of our birthdays. Yay. And I will say this, though. I find that I am running into my five friends more than my regular friends. You know, I am seeing, for example, Keith this year, I've seen probably 15 times.
00:35:02
Speaker
where one of my best friends literally lives six blocks from me. And I think I've seen him four or five times this year. So I feel a big shift in friendships. I feel a ah large outpouring of friendships from the five community that are easy to build. And there's so much built into them already that you have in common.
00:35:21
Speaker
It's just easy. it's It's so easy and everybody wants to travel and explore and go to meetups. So, yeah, I do feel like, yes, there's room in my life still for the people who were there before I retired. I do still keep in touch with them and I enjoy those friendships very much, but it's definitely different now.
00:35:40
Speaker
I think one message that you're stating very clearly is if someone hasn't retired yet and they're wondering who they're going to associate with, who are they going to find value in connecting with after? They might be thinking, I'm going to retire. I go to work all day. i see these I see these people all day. We share lunches together, share an office. Who am I going to talk to and visit with?
00:36:04
Speaker
in post-retirement. Well, I think what you're saying and what I've experienced, Carla, you seem to be in this big gray area of still working, but living a retired life just about, which is great. I think that's very magical too. I think it's reassuring. I think it's reassuring to, if you're listening to this and you haven't pulled the trigger and left your work or retired or transitioned into the life after Fi, don't worry, it's going to be okay. You're going to find people. You're going to maybe even have more space to feel more connected and more fulfilled as a person.
00:36:32
Speaker
Yeah, I certainly can agree with that. I would not be afraid to pull the trigger because you're worried about who you will hang out with if you are willing to jump into the fight community because there's so many of us, like you will find someone in this group who's your cup of tea.
00:36:47
Speaker
And yeah, it's just pretty diverse and wonderful group of folks. I will say though that I do think it's important. You can't just like go to a campfire and then be like, Oh, well, I guess I've made all my friends. I'm done. Like you have to continue to invest in those relationships, right? So I think a huge part of that from my perspective is you have to plan things. Like you have to be the one who's initiating things.
00:37:11
Speaker
So around here like this weekly potluck my good friend dusty and i decided that this would be a fun thing to do so we just made it happen and now it's become. You know this wonderful tradition that so many people around here look forward to i know i certainly do so yeah i think you just have to like really put in the time.
00:37:31
Speaker
and the effort to make that make that a reality for you. Another fun example. So in just a few weeks here, Eric and Nate are going to be coming to Longmont for a Christmas party that we' we're having. And I'm just like so excited about it. I can't stand it. It's gonna be like a Christmas musical party. And a couple of friends and I are doing a like a Vince Guaraldi trio. So we've had so much fun practicing for that.
00:37:56
Speaker
and like people are preparing all kinds of things to play. So yeah, I think it just requires that investment of time and effort to just make things happen, put things together. So the fight community is an amazing hack to find folks to do those things with, but you still put in that effort, I would say. And Nate has requested a game night when we come to Longmont. So I mean, he loves games. Yeah. He loves playing games. Just trying to stop me.
00:38:24
Speaker
Carly had just hit me that I might be completely disingenuous in my response and I don't know how I missed it. I recorded this podcast for a year, nearly a year now, actually over a year recording. And each of those interactions is a an interaction with another human being who I share value with, mostly share values with. So that was a dang it me. i wasn't Totally share values.
00:38:45
Speaker
So maybe that's why one of the reasons, at least in the last year, I haven't felt like you know disconnected or anything because I always could always look forward to conversations like this with cool people. so yeah I like seeing that light bulb but come over your head. it's like thing It's the, uh, it's an led back here. Yeah. Energy, energy savings. Just pick it up. That's great. Ding. Oh, nice. There you go. That's perfect. No, I do think that's a perfect example. Like starting a podcast that forces you to interact with other people or not forces you to like gives you, gives you a framework for it and gives you a reason to do it. I think that's exactly, it's very similar to the Christmas party where the violet, like you just have to plan these things and make it happen. And boom, you have people in your life. So it's perfect. There's one.
00:39:28
Speaker
There is one way that I've never heard of someone meeting a lifelong friend over, and that's trampling over them at a Walmart entrance at a Black Friday.
Black Friday Shopping Plans
00:39:38
Speaker
Have you ever done that? That's how you post my friends. You've never done that? Oh, that's my number one.
00:39:43
Speaker
So what about dating? That's a fun question. Tell us about dating in the fire world. David, how's that going? I don't, I generally don't date in the fire world. Is this towards me or is this towards Carla? Carla is taken. She's married. She's been married since she was in like, I was just keeping it clear, you know? Wait, you're saying you don't date in the fire community. Is that what you're saying?
00:40:06
Speaker
I am financially independent and I have dated over the last three years. Very few of those people have been directly involved in the financial independence community. and Do you feel like it's kind of, because we do all hang out a lot, do you feel like it's almost incestuous, like you're worried about, you know, messing up other friendships or anything if you date in the fire pool? yeah You don't want to be known as messy David. No, not messy David. I'm not sure I feel comfortable talking about any of this right now. Totally putting you on. the spot That's fair because I do have I do have strong opinions. I just don't want them recorded. OK. You can edit this out. Yeah. Transition to the so to Black Friday. We should talk about Black Friday. It's racist.
00:40:48
Speaker
OK, my first question, are you guys planning on buying anything through like Black Friday sales this year? I would only buy one thing, and that is if if Stephen Boyer decides he's going to do it, do another discount on Camp Fi's. That's the only thing I bought on Black Friday in the last like three years.
00:41:06
Speaker
And it is the only thing I would look forward to buying again are some discounted campfires. But I don't think Steven's going to do that. I think he's got too many campfires already and everybody's going and they're all selling out. So I have very low hopes that we're going to see Black Friday discount deals on campfire. But aren't they just like 50 bucks or something discount? I'm not sure how much he discounts them. It's still a deal. Like I love a good deal, but you have done the thrill. It's the thrill.
00:41:34
Speaker
Then I can relate to that, Eric. Yeah. I do think we will buy probably a couple of things. We need a new vacuum cleaner and we need a new washing machine. They're both slowly giving out on us. So yeah, Black Friday seems like as good a time as I need to pick up those new things. Yeah, what about you? Buy the best you can buy, and we can talk offline about those brands and things. But I'm sure you and Robert, as analytical and as brilliant as you are, have already got the spreadsheets figured out.
00:41:59
Speaker
Maybe I could buy one of those vacuums that you were talking about for my floors. That would be nice. Yeah. Or if you want to send one to me for Christmas, David, that would be great. I feel like that's a good use of fun bucket. Money is a nice little Roomba or something. So much fun to vacuum. Yeah. David, anything you're going to buy?
00:42:17
Speaker
I haven't thought too much about Christmas presents. So between now and the time that this airs, all very well like I will very much likely do that. And if something comes to mind, I'll probably jump on a few deals, but no large ticket items. If anything, I'd probably need to look around and see what I can get rid of in my house, not collect.
00:42:36
Speaker
There you go. It's a good thing to do. Less crap, more adventures. That's my words. That's great. Less crap, more adventures. 2025. Less crap, more adventures seems like a perfect way to wrap things up. So I appreciate that. And Happy Thanksgiving.
00:42:53
Speaker
Yeah. Happy Thanksgiving everybody. And I hope everyone has some good quality time with family, drama free family fun. Good luck. And yeah, we will catch you next episode. Thanks so much for tuning in everybody. Thanks for joining.