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00:00:01
The Collector (2009) & Hamm's
33 Plays4 months ago
Welcome back to LHOHP! This week we're checking out one of my favorites, The Collector from 2009. Also, Hamm's makes an appearance!
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Transcript
Introduction to 'The Collector' and Ratings
00:00:41
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
thanks jack welcome back to little hops horse podcast i'm john your host as always uh thank you again for the continued support uh really do appreciate it um and i have appreciated it now we're coming down to the wire here now i'm just kidding we still got plenty more to go uh today we're doing one of my favorites uh this is uh something I've been a big fan of for a long time and in rumor has it the third one is actually in the works here. But we're doing the collector from 2009 sitting in a rotten 29%
00:01:12
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
on Rotten Tomatoes, um but a 6.3 out of 10 on IMDb. But honestly, Rotten Tomatoes can suck a butthole with that rating. like These nerds need to learn how to have some fun every once in a while, because that's what this movie is, right? like it's Not everything has to have like an artsy fucking twist. like I don't know, man. It can just be fun, and I don't know. That's what this movie is. It's it's it's very enjoyable. um Our rating's seven and a half out of 10, right? it's It's not the greatest horror movie you're ever gonna see.
00:01:41
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
But it's far from the worst. If you're a horror fan, you're probably gonna like this movie.
Beer Selection and Movie Comparisons
00:01:44
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
ah There's plenty of cold shit to enjoy. ah Beer we're drinking today? Good old fashioned hams. You know we had to bring it back here ah for one of the final episodes, so we're gonna take a sip.
00:01:56
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
good as always man i fucking love that beer um definitely part of the rotation you know we could between like banquet pbr and hams those are like our holy trinity of light shitty beers even though none of them are light shitty beers you know what i mean dad beers as as they have come to be known um crazy that we've come full circle you know used to i would never drink that stuff ever ever i'd always have to have like an ipa or some fucking crazy even if it was just a pilsner it would have to be some like craft pilsner from like a a reputable brewery that literally nobody gave a fuck about i would drink it in front of friends and family they're like yeah cool mine's like way cheaper though so yeah um
00:02:39
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
whatever I got it eventually okay some of us are just like bloomers um that in the wallet can't handle it anymore my god um anyway so what do we like about this movie well I don't know why it's not talked about more right because this this is very um this is like you like saw right it's like if saw like if you had saw at home literally like saw in your home um it's it's it's it's that you know in and it's a lot of fun solid body hoarders there's a lot of uncomfortable scenes here for some people and and i know that like now people are very desensitized like i remember this movie being so much more twisted than than it is and i
00:03:24
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
you know i because I'm such a fan of the Terrifier franchise now and and just what they get away with on the screen and you know what you're allowed to see in theaters now. It just feels like everything else is like...
Critique of the Collector's Mask and Story Elements
00:03:35
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
kind of a tad underwhelming if that's what they're going for you know like the gore aspect but you know this is still a solid body horror there's still plenty here to make you uncomfortable we'll be like oh that would suck um it's fun there's there's some creative kills in here one of my favorite kills of all time is actually in this movie and we'll talk about that obviously and there's some like pretty solid fight scenes like good choreographed fight scenes ah in here so it was just kind of random given um you know well the movie we didn't we like about this movie um I hate the fucking mask I hate the mask it's stupid it looks dumb you know for a guy that's as badass as this guy and and what he does in these houses and
00:04:17
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
you know how like you know strong he is or whatever the fuck like he has a stupid fucking mask it's dumb it looks dumb from the back it looks cool from the front it looks stupid I don't know I don't have any other word for it it just looks fucking dumb like I feel like you could have done so much better like what did you have lying around that that's what you're like we ran out of the budgets I just grabbed whatever fucking old underwear you found from fucking Goodwill and slapping a a couple strings on it like it just looks I don't know man I hate the mask it could just I feel like maybe that would elevate it a little more if he had a cooler mask
00:04:55
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
You know, but whatever ah Some another thing is this the story gets a little far-fetched like sometimes Things that happen in here and it and it doesn't really add anything to the story, but it just gets it gets a little gets a little yeah come on how did any of this really happen so if you can shut your brain off and maybe that's why the rotten tomatoes fucking crew didn't like it because they can't see through it um you know you'll you'll enjoy it it's it's really not a bad movie it's it's a lot of fun um i didn't like the second one as much um
00:05:32
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
maybe you have to rewatch it again ah to see but I definitely enjoyed this one a lot and I love the concept I think this is actually would probably be a good one for a remake um if they were to just tone it down a little bit and we'll we'll talk about that at the end um my thoughts on it because I actually have a theory on on who I think the collector
Plot Summary and Arkin's Mission
00:05:52
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
is. And I'll talk about that at the very end of the episode. And I'll give you my evidence as to why. ah But if you guys have not seen this movie or the six minute mark, come back after six minutes if you don't want the movie ruin for you. That's the wrong button.
00:06:16
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
As you can see on my A-game as always, man, fucking on it. This is spoiler time. oh Why? I don't just have these in like order where I can just do like one, two, three, four, like I'm just too lazy to fucking go and re-upload everything in the order that I use them. Whatever. But all right, let's stop with this movie, right? I need some beer, man.
00:06:43
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
starting to get cold around here how about you guys getting cold everywhere you are um yeah anyways thank you guys again for all the support over these these past couple years it's been a lot of fun if you haven't reached out on the page let me know like your favorite episodes movies you know you you you want me to watch things like that just you know feel free to interact it was it would be cool to to hear from folks that uh you know that i see listen to the podcast and everything and uh yeah just get some feedback it would always be cool uh anything is better than nothing but yeah all right uh let's let's let's talk about this movie so i like the old switcheroo approach that that this movie brings to the table
00:07:24
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
you know the bad guy right who would be arkin in any other movie ah but he really isn't the worst guy right so he's not like the actual bad guy he turns out that that the bad guy is actually the only guy that can help the family from the real bad guy which is it's pretty crazy and and I kind of like that little flip-floppy thing that they do like I said good premise very cool and this is when we're introduced to Arkin who's a handyman of sorts and he's of being paid to repair a house for the Chase family who's like a jeweler broker or something like that
00:07:59
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
um but it turns out he's in a bit of a pickle right hate when that happens um his wife owes a loan shark a lot of money and he doesn't have it yet um so he needs to get in advance from his boss right ah On the jewel that he's about to steal from the chase family. So he's not there by accident ah And you find this out obviously in the first like 15 minutes or so. So he has to get the jewel Back to his dude and get the money to his wife all before midnight So show time for arkin, right? He gets back to the house. Nobody's there. It's dark Sneaks in starts cracking the safe, but here's some noises behind him and everything He realizes he's not alone in this house
00:08:43
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
And even though he realizes something is very off, right? Something's going on here. He tries going for the drool anyway, right? Until he sees Mr. Chase get shit whipped across the fucking house. Then he realizes something is very wrong. and He decides to bail. I need to pause this for a second.
00:09:02
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
Sorry about that. Yeah, we are still battling this fucking virus thing from Well the aftermath of the virus from last week Hasn't fully gone away yet. Now. I have like a dumbass cough, which is annoying um Tis the season right fucking it's holidays day here all that shit just passing plagues around. That's all the fuck we do anymore um So He goes to see you know, he goes to leave after he sees mr. Chase gets you up across the floor and And he realizes that the house is booby-trapped. He can't fucking go even if he wants to. And he finds this out by learning the hard way, right? A needle to the fucking ear. Ouch. Like he goes to call the fucking ah cops or something like that. That is such a scene in such a, like, a oh god. Like, how often do you look at a phone before you put your hand to it? Like, if you were to answer something, wouldn't you just pick it up and do it?
00:09:53
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
And for, oh dude, that feeling would just be terrible. Ah, just a needle right to your ear. Oof. But then he tries to go out the window and he gets some razor blades through his knuckles. So, you know, just, this dude just feels like he's one step ahead, right? And this is when we're introduced to the thought about just about everything mastermind known as the collector. Your house is his playground. And that's a truly terrifying thought.
00:10:19
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
Now I gotta say that this dude must be crazy efficient though, because the amount of shit that he has set up in the house in the few hours that passed from when Arkin left, it's a little hard to believe. And this is what I was talking about with the Farfetch'd shit, because it's like, dude, you you had time to scale this house booby trap the windows from the outside nail everything shut install new locks like good god that's a lot of effort and uh all just to make sure and you know i don't know like i said it's just that's the part that gets me there's just like a little too much um argon discovers now though what he's up against right and he finds the family downstairs in the basement now he offers to help them and this is kind of the ultimate what the fuck are you even doing here kind of moment
00:11:08
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
And you just wonder if that crossed his mind where he's like, I'm definitely not here to steal your jewel. Insert nervous laughter. He heads upstairs to grab a gun, which he has told is in the safe, but doesn't have any bullets, right? But he does help himself to the big ass jewel that he was there for in the first place because you might as well, right? They're not going to need it anymore. And it's at least, you know, payment for saving their lives or whatever.
00:11:33
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
But while he's searching for bullets, he's also looking for Hannah, which he was instructed to do. You know, find the youngest daughter, make sure she's safe and all that stuff. Instead, he finds Larry, right? And it's the guy who got kidnapped in the opening sequence of the movie. And he tells Arkin, you know, that the guy, the collector, he collects people. Go fucking figure.
00:11:55
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
But the only only the ones he likes right if he doesn't like you you're dead and after hearing this Arkin very nicely shoves Larry back into the box against his will because He has other shit to deal with like trying to remember how to play the floors lava right or acid whatever um The cat got the shit into the stick on that one. I gotta say ah Like I don't even know what that shit was it looked like the Nickelodeon slime It's just all over the fucking ground and it didn't go through the floor of course because why would it do that?
00:12:25
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
It just stays on top and melts you from the top up, I guess. um But that poor cat got stuck and then fuckin' Argin rips it off the ground and throws it towards the window and then it gets guillotined in half. Jesus Christ, what a rough way to go. um Almost contender for Kill of the Week, just because it's got a rough ending. But anyway, all this commotion gets the the collector's attention. He comes running upstairs to investigate. And now husbands.
00:12:55
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
Here's one valid reason to let your wife buy all these pillows. Because if those throw pillows weren't on that bed, Arkin wouldn't have any to hide behind, and he would be dead. Because there was 2,000 pillows on this girl's bed, and he hid back there perfectly, and the collector was none the wiser. But he makes a break for it, tries to rescue the family downstairs, but it's too late for Mr.
Tension and Grotesque Scenes
00:13:18
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
Chase. He's already dead upside down, disemboweled, all kinds of stuff.
00:13:22
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
But he makes it to mrs. Chase, right? I think your name was Victoria or something um And he very calmly tells her he says now Please don't freak out when I walk you right past your very dead husband that you're definitely gonna see does she listen No, no, not at all. She panics screams runs right up to the top of stairs gets stabbed by the collector who brings her back down the stairs and Then drags her to a bathtub and so is her fucking mouth shut while she's like awake and conscious and everything pretty fucking brutal way to go But you know, hey ah There's some light at the end of this tunnel, right? We're gonna have some more cool kills But first, you know, we're gonna be here now This is why like every teenage boy would watch a movie like this because there's boobs right? There's boobs coming.
00:14:12
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
Jill and her boyfriend are getting it on in the kitchen, right? there's There's a scene and the collector's sitting there all creepy like watching it and stuff. It's kind of weird. And, um you know, she finally sees the collector watching. and It kind of kills the mood.
00:14:25
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
Now, points for originality here because this is the scene that I was talking about. This is one of my favorite horror kills of all time. The boyfriend doesn't really try to put up a fight. I guess he kind of does, but he fails miserably. And he gets his ass beaten, Spartan kicked right into a room full of animal traps, bear traps, whatever. And one by one, they clamp down on each body part as he's falling, ending with his head getting fucking clamped.
00:14:51
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
um Yeah, and no fucking bear claim and it's badass and it's obviously are Yeah, so fucking good that is such a great kill I love it um one of my old-time favorites I talk about that well when i'm talking about favorite cos and horror movies so i don't even know how often that would come up in discussion in a regular day-to-day uh... anyway so now after some more cat and mouse uh... between argan and the collector he frees joe who'd been tied to the banister by some barbed wire right around her hands and and her throat in the span of about two minutes apparently this is where i kinda lose like
00:15:34
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
Like, really? How much time did you have to pull this off? And she put up no resistance whatsoever, just let you do it. Anyway, Arcan Freezer, um and he tries to like calm her down and like, let's get out of here. And she's like, no. And she triggers a booby trap and it launches her across the room and she gets impaled on a wall nails through her fucking face um dead dead cool fucking death but yeah she's she's dead she done fucked up and arkin has had enough of this fucking family and he leaves right he's like i'm out of here but he stopped when he hears some banging on the window and of course it's little hannah she's on the thing then he sees the collector through another window running up to the thing so he's got to play hero
00:16:20
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
He gets there first, and they have to come up with a getaway plan. Dude's banging on the door trying to get in, blah, blah, blah. And I'm really not sure um what exactly was to gain here, like what the plan was, besides dealing out some trauma to an already traumatized little girl. ah Why the fuck did Arkin electrocute Larry um In front of her why did why was that the plan like okay? We're just gonna kill this guy in a horrific fashion for no reason as soon as he opens that door because it wasn't enough to electrocute the collector like It just didn't make any sense
00:17:01
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
um And it didn't work anyway because they got caught right after he ran into fucking bunch of fish hooks Which was a that would suck yeah like on his eye in his fucking ear It's just like it's the little pains that are like relatable you're like ah that would suck to get that Right there like I don't know what it's like to get a butcher knife through my fucking chest But I know what it's like to get a fish hook in my hand now imagine that on your eye and so maybe that's why this movie's like appealing. um So anyway, ah you know we jump to Arkin being tied up in the basement and this dude is strung up by his hands and his back with fish hooks. How did he not wake up from that level of pain being inflicted on him? My god! But eventually the collector does wake him up
00:17:48
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
He's talking shit. Argan's talking shit. Cause, you know, he still wants, the collector still wants to find a little girl. So he starts stocking out some teeth with like a screwdriver and a fucking hammer, which is a brutal fucking thing. Um, and then he tries to do the old, you know, uh, medieval torture thing with, uh, like cockroaches and a flame trying to get him to enter his body after he cut him on his tummy and everything. Just, uh, I don't know, but he's pulled away from that. Um,
00:18:14
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
here's the cops outside and his dog deals with that pretty quickly because he's a mean pup um didn't like the way that I didn't okay so I never liked animals dying in a movie but this was like kind of a funny one Arkin makes his escape with Hannah ah well you know the collector still outside um makes his escape up the up the laundry chute the dog's going apeshit flying around the house and everything like that Arkin sets a bunch of toilet paper on fire in a trash can and the dog runs into it face first and then that kills the dog apparently and he carries the dog downstairs and throws it at the collector who shoots the dog blowing it in half with a shotgun
00:19:04
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
and then they get into a pretty badass fight scene this is the choreographed fight scene that i was talking about it's actually pretty decent they're throwing each other all over the fucking place like john wick um but you know somehow again i don't remember how he uh i didn't write it down how the collector gets back to the basement uh but arkin and hannah Have to figure out a way how to get out of here because everything's still booty trapped and the doors are all locked and none of the keys working blah blah blah Everything's you know impossible.
Arkin's Escape and Theorizing the Collector
00:19:34
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
So what do they do? They pulled the old Jurassic Park mirror trick, right? and They drop a chandelier ah Full of knives on top of the collector after he shoots the mirror like an idiot you mean to tell me that this motherfucker has thought of everything and he doesn't know the difference between
00:19:51
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
a mirror and two human beings. it's just like some of this stuff like it's like you got there and you're like well now how do they get out uh uh or is it a mirror they look at a mirror and then he shoots the mirror and it blows the door open and then they get out that way and the guy's like uh-huh you know like it just i don't know this like and scenes like that kind of take away from this movie because the rest of it's pretty fun there's a couple things that that take it down just a notch or two this is one of them because it just gets to be a little too outlandish
00:20:26
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
um but they finally get out Hannah and Arkin and you know she's the only um you know a surviving member of her family it looks like you know everything's gonna be okay they get to the ah fleet of police cars heading towards them um And it looks like it's gonna be a happy ending right there on the way to the hospital and of course the collector Catches the ambulance not only catches that he fucking rolls this bitch and that was a really cool scene the way they had Arkin tied down and this thing to roll in and roll in and the dudes bodies flying around but he's staying You know still so I wonder how they did that if they actually had like a stunt guy in there
00:21:07
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
getting tossed around or some shit because it looked pretty realistic. um That was a cool scene. And of course, Argon doesn't get away. After the ambulance is done rolling, ah the collector comes and gets him and takes him for his collection. and And that's the end of the movie. Yeah, so like I said, it's a fun movie, right? It's nothing mind-blowing. It's just a fun film. um there's so There's some outlandish ridiculous bullshit that happens. Yes, I'll i'll admit that.
00:21:36
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
um But this is one of my probably shitty little horror movies that I would defend because it's you know It's just it's just a fun film ah if you haven't seen it, and I just ruined it for you. That's your fault, um but now time for my theory So we never actually see his face right? um That's kind of like the big mystery I Think the collector is is Kevin McCallister from Home Alone Think about it all those elaborate traps in that short of a period of time I It's the only theory that makes sense, right? Think of all the shit he did in Home Alone, both of them, right? In that short amount of time with his limited resources. Now imagine he studies that craft for the next 30 years or 20 years.
00:22:23
Little Hops of Horrors Podcast
How much good or how much better would he be? I'm telling you, it's Kevin McAllister. That's my theory. And with that, we will see you guys next week. Stay safe this weekend. I'm not sure what we're reviewing, but it'll be something cool. ah ah Yeah, we'll see you next week. Cheers.