Transcript
Speaker: Yes, hey, welcome. Yes. Welcome to you guys. And begin. That's a good way to start. Yes. Yes. Welcome, my friends. You're in the right place. Yes. Whoa, we're here. We're here visually. Whoa.
Speaker: Oh, check this out. Okay, so that is like um ASMR. Yeah, it's like ASMR for your eyes. I just wanted to say ASMR, more like, ah oh, yeah, ah, yes, some more.
Speaker: um that's if so That's if someone can't get enough of the feeling. If you want to watch another thing video. More, please. It was sort of ah reminiscent of Oliver.
Speaker: Oliver wanted more, please. Yeah, but that big fat guy didn't want to give him any, right? It's so interesting they made the guy fat. The guy who didn't want to give it to him. He ate a bunch of the gruel earlier.
Speaker: The idea is that fat people are ah the ones responsible for deserts. They're kind of on the top of society. Bossing us around.
Speaker: All the restaurants should be around me. But...
Speaker: But I understand that that's not exactly practical. No. Should we maybe use this episode ah to go off on fat people in a really cruel way? Yeah, let's go off on them.
Speaker: I hate that they run the world's fat cats. You're allowed to you're allowed to make fun you're allowed to fat shame if you say fat cats. Those fat cats over there ridiculous. Of course, I love the fatos at Walmart, like the lower class slobs. But as soon as they put on a suit, they become a fat cat and pretty much death death to them.
Speaker: Eat the fat rich. Yes. Let's start with the fattest rich of all. It's interesting to imagine a fat cat in one of those grocery store scooters. Don't you think?
Speaker: ah ah Like a large cat? Sorry? Like a cat? Not a cat. Not a cat, actually. Not actually. A capitalist. A fat capitalist in ah in a grocery store. business tycoon and a in a hat and a fat person. they They are called a rascal, right?
Speaker: The scooters? A rascal? Am I wrong? They're called rascals, the scooters? Let me get inside this rascal. On top of? I don't think people would go in if they had to get if that's how they had to think of it.
Speaker: I'm going to get inside a rascal. They are called rascal mobility scooters. Whoa. But they only have a 300 pound weight capacity? That doesn't seem right. I feel like a lot of people are misusing them then.
Speaker: Oh, wait, no, they they offer heavy duty duty models that often exceed 400 or 500 pounds. I like when a 300 pounder climbs aboard this rascal, meaning me. hmm. Me too.
Speaker: I think that's kind of interesting. We all like that, right? You guys like when that happens to me. Our sort of disdain for the for the heavy is only outmatched by our attraction to them.
Speaker: Yes. It just depends on where the weight is carried. um Because if it's all in the head, like then i don't really want that i don't really want that person to like go for a ride on my face, per se, because they're going to be wondering the whole time, what is the point of this? It's not stimulating in a way.
Speaker: I want them to be as spread out on my body as possible. I want i want the same amount of weight. It's like an anxiety blanket, right? Yes. um You want a Derek-shaped fatso to lay on top of you.
Speaker: Yes. If they were the same as same exact proportions as me, but just... Flatter. Well, no, not flatter. I'd say wide or thicker. Deeper. oh like go from they go Front to back. They yeah they go further back. yeah Oh, cool. but The Z-axis is bigger, but everything else is the same.
Speaker: That's interesting. Yeah, that'd be nice. um Yeah, I guess I would like... Part of me would be angry if something was that similar to me in size and was on top of me. I don't know. I don't know about... actually received a weighted blanket as a birthday gift once from an ex.
Speaker: She was like, you're kind of autistic. This will maybe soothe you. And I remember feeling so angry that I received it. And then I was like, that's a wrong reaction. I should just try it. Maybe I will like it. And then I remember trying it and I remember feeling extremely angry ah that the blanket was on me. I hated the feeling.
Speaker: You were angry that it that it worked. You were so calmed. I'm so calm. I'm i'm so balanced now. And I resent that. Fuck this. No, I was angry at the weight mainly. it felt It felt like there was... Hard to get it off. Quite heavy on top. Yeah.
Speaker: Hard to fucking breathe. Your ex essentially trapped you and presented that as a gift. Oh, here you go. You're here. This will help you. Now you're behind bars.
Speaker: Essentially. that was That's how it felt. ah it was locked. Yeah. So, Derek, maybe you don't want this fat version of you on top of you. This could actually. ah cause issues. seems like Yeah, could it could prevent me from doing some stuff later in life. If I'm trying to get up, for example.
Speaker: Yeah. um If the doorbell rings and you're in a weighted blanket, you're going to wish that you had a normal blanket instead. yeah I guess if I just had a lock on my door, i would feel pretty safe.
Speaker: So start with that. But the lock is similar to a weighted blanket, too, um because when it's time to leave your home, you have to sometimes unlock the door. hard to get out. Hard to get out.
Speaker: Hard to get in. I'm always losing my keys. Oh yeah yeah? Like out? Or are you leaving them at home? where Where do i put them? I have to look around for about 10 to 20 seconds.
Speaker: yeah sometimes i feel like they're just like Sometimes I find them in like a second. Do you check your pockets first? This takes a second. The part where you're reaching into your pocket when your hand is on the way to the pocket, your keys are lost until you get into the pocket.
Speaker: It's all about entering the pocket. And then, yeah, they're usually just found right there. like They're always there, but you're they're lost in space until then. Mm-hmm. A lot of people tend not to even check their pockets because they're like well, as soon as I check them, they're going to be temporarily lost. And is the feeling of clutching the steel in my fingertips before I leave the house really that important?
Speaker: I'd rather just know that they're there. even it's not It's not worth the feeling of loss. ah So yeah why why seek
Speaker: Yeah, that's how a lot of people think about it, I think. I can't remember what I was about to say. It doesn't matter. And what was about to say? Jesus. Shit, doesn't matter. i feel like i lost my thought. Does that ever happen? You know, some people say a little gremlin runs around hiding hiding your keys, right? You guys heard this concept? Terrence McKenna talks about the little key hider.
Speaker: this Is this a real person? Terrence McKenna? Terrence McKenna? or is that like ah Arguably no. Pierce made that up, right? yeah Yeah, Terrence McKenna is is a collective hallucination that you have been excluded from, Derek.
Speaker: Terrence McKenna sort of pierces Socrates that he comes up. He's like, oh, this character, whenever Pierce wants to talk about a hider, he's like, well, not me, but my friend.
Speaker: My friend Terrence. Yeah, he actually brought up. He he brought up this funny idea of how a hider hides. Isn't that isn't interesting? A hider hides in a seeker seeks.
Speaker: He's just so imaginative. oh that Terrence McKenna shit. Yeah. Anyway, do you ever feel like there's a little hider in the mind who hides the thing that you were trying to say, but you can't remember it in small talk? The forgetter.
Speaker: Yes, the little gremlin who hides your in your trenchant observations away. i don't I don't have that. I don't contain multitudes. There's one unified self for me and there's no there's I don't really experience like contradictory feelings or thoughts in my internal life.
Speaker: So you never have forgotten what you were going to say ever because the thoughts are so simple, so uncomplicated that there's no way that they can be forgotten. They are they can't be categorized. It doesn't make sense to say I forgot what I was going to say. If I forgot it, I wasn't going to say it, obviously.
Speaker: Yeah, it's the it's the matter of fact, it's impossible. it's ah It's impossible to forget what you're going to say. You can only have not said something. I do forget what I said sometimes.
Speaker: I forgot I said that. Fair enough. OK, that's fine. Well, I only said it for other people to hear anyway. Yeah, you guys heard it whenever whenever Whenever I speak, I'm just trying to get people to hear the voice in their head that I would prefer they heard. You're you're saying what their subconscious is saying or you're saying what?
Speaker: ah Everyone should hear a good voice in their head at all times and speaking is a generous it is a generous way to insert thoughts into other people's internal monologues. When I don't like other people's inner monologues, I'll give them the gift of mine.
Speaker: of sentences. Yeah, here are my sentences. Think these. because What kind of stuff do you say to replace their their thoughts? Like, oh, this is good. This feels really nice. That of stuff? I'm happy. You're happy. be I like listening to Chamber of Reason. It's my favorite podcast.
Speaker: Yeah. And that works. And then you say that while massaging yourself and you go, also, this feels really good. I'm really relaxed. And I like massaging too. So I'm motivated to continue.
Speaker: but we should get a massage. We actually should get massage. Matthew wants a massage for his birthday. That's the kind of shit I say to people. We saw a massage happen.
Speaker: Me and Matthew. We were at the mall and they had this row of chairs um that you can, like robots that you can get massaged by. was it it was like, it was pretty cheap. It was like $5 for 20 minutes. Yeah, you can sit there for a long time.
Speaker: And we saw a couple get a massage. They sat together. Were they holding hands? They were not holding hands. I was checking. they i was i i thought maybe after a minute or two of the massage, they would become ah bit more physically affectionate.
Speaker: But they just sort of stood so you know sat straight in their chairs and got the benefits of them. I don't think they needed each other anymore once they had the chairs. I think that's the most difficult thing about a couple's massage is it's really hard to figure out why you even have a partner in that moment. How do you go back to loving your partner after this great massage? Right. And also like, you're what are you going to say to them during the massage? This feels so good.
Speaker: You can't even talk about after, really. Because you each had your, it's like you each had your own trip. Yeah. there's no way to compare the two experiences yeah you can only kind of vaguely compare them by saying did you like when you have were touched hard when you're when they hardly when they hardly touch i mean a massage a massage is basically sex so you're just both of you are just getting railed essentially next to each other by other people and that's supposed to be a bonding and that's supposed to be a bonding thing
Speaker: Yeah, and then you you hear your girlfriend say, oh, I'm so i'm so loose now. Hey. Generally, yeah. I don't want to hear that, even if it was another chick going down on your thighs. Yeah. It's literally the masseuse is turning your tight woman into a loose woman in real time.
Speaker: the the process of loosening her physically and ethically ah while you're well I guess the same thing is happening to you but because of gender expectations a loose man ah loose man is actually not even not even bad it's considered good right considered widely to be good When somebody touches like ah somebody's shoulders and they're like, oh, you're you're so tight, you should get a massage. It's like, well, why are you stepping in to make that judgment?
Speaker: Maybe it's good that they're tight. Yeah. And imagine if your muscles are tight, you're probably less vulnerable. If someone stabs you, the ah tightly bound muscles probably kind of push it back. But if you're loose, there's all these gaps.
Speaker: It just goes right through. yeah why... Why is the objective to be so relaxed that you resemble a liquid more than a solid? I mean, is that really the the piece on Earth that we're searching for? is Oh, you're so tight. It's almost like your form is rigid.
Speaker: I want to say that you have like hard skeletal structure underneath all that fat muscle. Do we really want to spread California culture across the globe? Oh, hang loose.
Speaker: chill no we don't do not the answer is we don't but this is the other thing is like this idea that you're gonna chill chilling is a tight is a tightening right no I'm wrong because the atoms in ice in liquid water in water ice they're actually pretty sure that's specific to water It is. I'm pretty sure.
Speaker: It's not like with it's not like other. It's not like others. I think most things that freeze actually do condense, but water doesn't. Am I wrong? Water. You're right. I think I'm wrong. I think I'm right. what Wait, what are you talking about?
Speaker: No, ice is tighter than water. It is? It's not. It's not. It expands. If you put like a bottle of water in the freezer, it will it can burst. It can expand. But doesn't it feel tighter?
Speaker: Yeah, ice feels tight as hell. Definitely feels tight. Yeah. Until it starts sliding all around. Reminds me of Callie at that point. Whoa, we're loose. Oh, man. And you're quite chill.
Speaker: ah wonder how snowboarders feel on like a chemic level as they're sort of surfing not quite water, but a chiller form of water. You what i mean? More Cali form of water, arguably.
Speaker: It's chill. It's Cali style. If you want to surf Cali style, you got to go to Colorado. That's sort the that's where the chiller waves are. That's where the chill Cali water is Ice.
Speaker: um Well, speaking of water and ice and and questions... ah Derek didn't didn't you find some riddles for us today and isn't one of the original episodes of Chamber of Reason doesn't it concern that age-old riddle about the man who died in near water what's the riddle a man died near water died he's hanging he's hanging that's the answer turned out to be he's hanging used a noose He used a noose on ice that became water. i don't know what you're saying. He used a noose on ice?
Speaker: Yeah, he's standing on ice, noosed. Oh, I get you. Ice melted. So there's an ice. He's hanging and there's a puddle. Exactly. why How did that happen? Well, most of the time after you hang yourself, most's the time after you hang yourself you also Yeah.
Speaker: empty your bowels and you piss right So it's a mix of water, piss, and whatever other stuff comes out. How did this piss get here?
Speaker: And usually when you hang yourself with a noose, it does end up fully decapitating the head. I understand, right? I think given enough time, your head will slide your body will slide off the head. Good.
Speaker: Decades. Good. that's rule but but But here's the interesting thing. If you wait that long, there won't be any water. It'll dry up. ah Oh, interesting. And the riddle takes on a new... yeah How did this head get on this rope?
Speaker: And what's this body doing here? The riddle takes place at a specific point in time where the head is still attached to the corpse and the water is not has not evaporated yet. But you can do the same riddle just a million years in the future and say there is particulate matter from a corpse in a room along with a frayed rope.
Speaker: What happened? And you can say, well, a man stood on ice and ice melted and the water evaporated and the man's head came off his body and they both were subjected to eons of decomposition and erosion and the rope became naturally frayed because of wind then that would be the answer to that riddle. Yeah, correct answer to then you need to explain the whole concept of wind to whoever is listening.
Speaker: Yeah, that's a good riddle. What is wind? Explain. Show your work. The hell is that shit? Riddles should be more like that. ah What is wind? My girlfriend and I play this ah very very fun game where we ask each other... It's not quite a riddle-based game, but...
Speaker: We just ask each other, which movie has the blank blank? And so I'll say, like, which movie has the coldest ice? And then she'll say, um A Christmas Carol. And I'll go, yes.
Speaker: And then she'll answer always yes? The answer's always yes. Which movie... which movie has the the strangest dinner and i said i don't know meet the parents and she said ah i was really hoping you're going to say solo but just so so it is sometimes wrong when you say the answer Sometimes when I say the answer, i don't say the right one that she was hoping for. But you you say yes to her answers.
Speaker: I say yes to hers no matter what. Sometimes I don't. I said which movie has the has the most devilish imp. And ah she didn't say Gremlins. And that that kind of frustrated me.
Speaker: That's frustrating. Yeah, actually quite frustrating. But after you told her the answer, did she was she able to repeat it back to you? She saw why she fucked up when I told her what I wanted her to say, and then we ran it back.
Speaker: we That's cool, yeah. Because it's it's kind of like a form of instruction. It's not like, oh, you fucked up once, you're doomed forever. No, you can learn. Yeah, it's a form of instructive play. I would say Salo has the most common dinner.
Speaker: What do you mean by that? The most normal, regular... I mean, it's the stuff you do every... It's the stuff you encounter every day. it is encountered daily, right? So... What did they do in that movie? They they eat poop?
Speaker: They eat poop briefly. I don't think that's normal, Matthew. The movie is about them doing stuff before and after eating poop. They eat something normal. They eat something that is normal.
Speaker: Eating it isn't normal. Something that is naturally present in reality. But the dinner itself is normal. It's just strange to eat that. No, you're wrong. It's not normal as dinner.
Speaker: Matthew, you're just wrong on this one. po It's not normal. Poop is not normal dinner. Poop is normal in the toilet. When you take out of the toilet, nothing it becomes x abnormal.
Speaker: That's normally where it's found. I'm starting to agree with Derek more. Okay, fair enough. yeah Matthew, are you kind of understanding where Derek's coming from? He's saying that you're right to suggest that poop is normal. It's just not normal for dinner.
Speaker: Yeah. Okay. I agree with that. Sure. If the poop's in the toilet, that's normal. if you If you're holding a knife and fork, that's normal. But as soon as you cut into the poop and pick it up with your fork and put it in your mouth, something has happened that has made it not normal anymore. It's all about relationships. It's all about how these things combine.
Speaker: Yeah. Nothing on its own is weird or normal. It's socially constructed also. i'll so ill I know that. So I'll just like, you know. Yeah. Let's get that out there. I think the cultural differences between eating poop with your fingers um off the ground and eating poop with a fork and knife off a plate, I think it's important to talk about those cultural differences because I do think that the former is more so acceptable across all cultures.
Speaker: Eating poop from the ground with your fingers is more normal than eating it off of, and more acceptable, I would even say. If you're going to do it at all, that's how that's how you got it. That's how it's done.
Speaker: Right. If I saw someone eating poop with their fingers, I would say, well, that's the way you would do it. But if you eat poop with a fork and knife, it's sort of like, okay, this is a whole performance and it has taken on this abnormal character.
Speaker: And is there like a reverse for that? Like, do you guys like when people throw delicious banquet meals into the toilet? Because I find that to be kind of abnormal too. Yeah, it's normal. I haven't seen it. It must be abnormal. It's not normal. Yeah. But that doesn't make it wrong. This is not normal.
Speaker: This is not normal. nothing Nothing is wrong. Nothing's wrong. And I think that we all know that normality is... is it's It's worth pursuing normality.
Speaker: It's the closest thing we have rightness. say something is normal or not normal, we we are making an objective statement. But we're not necessarily saying that that's good or bad. Pierce is saying that, I think.
Speaker: We should strive to be normal. normal is good it's normal to strive to be normal i guess normal is yeah good that is what goodness is right just being regular yes okay so good and bad don't exist only normal and abnormal i bet we could think of some things that are quite normal that are are not so good either though death h very good good answer Okay, but in in the realm of human, like decisive human behavior, right?
Speaker: right Oh, decisions? There are probably some normal decisions that are not good. But I think they'd widely be considered good by normal people. Well, circumcision is kind of normalized.
Speaker: The decision to circumcise is a normal decision. As it gets less normalized, it becomes less good. Right. And that's why I think we should continue to normalize it because so many circumcisions have already happened. We should be striving to normalize everything. And that increases, that expands good the world. The goodness the world. The more things that are normalized, the better.
Speaker: I think there's probably only enough room for a certain number of normal things, though, because then you won't be able to point at anything and that's not normal. That's nice to do. I agree. I think it's really good.
Speaker: Is it about equal? There might be less normal normal things than abnormal things when you get right down to it. Definitely. Yeah. the more normal things The more things become normal, the more abnormal abnormal things become. Like right now, for example, it's really abnormal to...
Speaker: ah Well, see, now it's like impossible to even think of something abnormal. I'm pretty sure everything is normal now. i think Well, no. i mean like if you if you weren to If you went to your neighbor's apartment started slapping them around, they'd say that's not what you normally do.
Speaker: But if it was what yeah this is what you normally did, it be all good. yeah If you made a habit of it, it'd be fine. Yeah. No, I think my neighbor would probably, you know, this is what I would do if my neighbor came in and started slapping me. I would go, wait a minute, my neighbor doesn't normally do this. But then I would remember, oh, but some people yeah normally do this. normally do this And then i would have no leg I would have no leg to stand on. My reaction is just some dumb culture-bound bullshit.
Speaker: Yeah, my reaction my reaction isn't even normal. So I should just keep it to myself. Should we read these riddles, you guys? Okay. yeah um so So here's here's a Facebook page called Riddles Only.
Speaker: And riddle has like the apostrophe before the S. So it's like possessive. riddle Riddles only um wait If you go to the cover photo, the comments are, there's two from a guy named Ernie Danks, and the two comments he wrote are, how do find answer, and then we're answers. We're answers.
Speaker: And every day they kind of post just a different like it looks like a sheet of paper that they printed off. Or maybe this is computer generated. I don't think it is actually because it's like a piece of like purple paper laying on a blanket or something.
Speaker: And it it will say something like brain test. Divide 900 by half, then add 45. That's not a riddle. We'll find one of these that's actually a riddle. All of these comments to their profile on their profile picture are answers to... ah to It's just other riddles. 48. 28. There are no stairs.
Speaker: One person just wrote their name. Laura Schaefer wrote Laura P. Schaefer.
Speaker: The first riddle is to figure out how to answer the riddle. but Which which post am I supposed to comment on? Wow. Okay, so here's a good one. this is a It says brain test, but this is actually a riddle. Brain test.
Speaker: A man and his boss have the same parents... but are not siblings. How is this possible? And then below that it says only genius will answer. Only genius will even try to answer. A man and his... Right. So don't open your mouth unless you have it because otherwise... if Yeah, if you try to answer at all, whether you're right or wrong, you're a genius.
Speaker: It's all good. So let's give this a damn shot. Someone in the comments said, his boss is his twin. Twins are not siblings. oh Wrong.
Speaker: They're misinformed about twins. So you got to do a whole like research thing on twins before you even begin to answer these riddles. You have to like understand You have understand why twins aren't exactly siblings.
Speaker: How they're more twins. I love how people think that they can just change the question in order to solve the answer. Like this person comments, same grandparents and grand in parentheses.
Speaker: The riddle writer wants you to think a man and his boss have the same parents. But by that, I mean, they have the same grandparents. So let's see if you can solve this There we go. Cool. Oh, you just wrote it wrong. You wrote the wrong riddle.
Speaker: That's the answer. I've heard this one before and that's not how you were supposed to say it. so yeah The actual question is not tricky. Okay. Yeah. When you ask the question incorrectly, it's hard as fuck. But luckily I know the question you meant to ask. All right. Just to repeat for our listeners here, a man and his boss have the same parents but are not siblings. How is this possible? So for the record, are we all agreeing that the correct answer is that he is self-employed?
Speaker: Yes. i'm i'm I'm confident that's the answer. You guys both concluded that, huh? I concluded that. You guys both thought of that? I just read it and then it sounded right to me. I'm going to have to avoid reading the comments in the future, though.
Speaker: Did you read it too, Derek? No, I mean, I thought of it. Be honest. you found ah Be honest. I did think i thought i'm the only one among us who's not a genius. I'm not i'm not a genius. i don't Well, no, I think I might have heard this before.
Speaker: This sucks. Wait, I didn't think of it. I read it. Okay, okay. At least one. Yeah, okay. I think this is an old chestnut. um I'm sure I didn't think of it myself. I'm sure I had a clue. sure that's the correct answer, too. Yeah.
Speaker: It's got to be right. ah It's only logical. Let me pose this riddle to you. Alex has four sisters. Sarah is playing chess. Jenny is cooking.
Speaker: Gina is watching TV. What is the fourth sister doing? 99% will fail. What? You already talked about four sisters. Oh, the first one is just having the sisters.
Speaker: Alex has four sisters. Alex is probably just having four sisters. Yes, that's what Alex is doing. So the riddle describes the activities of the three sisters and Alex is simply having those sisters.
Speaker: If the police ever pull you over on the street or on the sidewalk and they say, hey, what the hell are you doing here? You can just say how many siblings you have. I'm having three siblings.
Speaker: Yeah. ah If you're homeless and the police start fucking with you, they say you can't be here. Just say, i have I'm having two parents right now. but I'm having a parent, one who's alive, and I'm i'm having two divorced parents.
Speaker: It's really easy to get out of trouble. Just by carrying out that. Yeah.
Speaker: ah Yeah. What the hell was Alex doing? The riddle doesn't say. the The riddle is not about what Alex is doing. It's what is the other sister doing who wasn't named. Can you read it again?
Speaker: oh yeah. Alex has four sisters. So if Alex was the fourth sister, then Alex doesn't have but herself as sister. Is that the answer to the riddle? Maybe the fourth sisters also has four sisters. Four sisters.
Speaker: but Okay, so Alex is playing chess. No, Alex isn't playing chess. Alex is having four sisters. Sarah is playing chess. Alex is having four sisters. Okay, Sarah's playing chess. Forget about Alex.
Speaker: Okay. Jenny is cooking. Gina is watching TV. What is the fourth sister doing? Also, 99% will fail. I think she's also watching TV, right? It makes sense that she's watching TV. Because if someone's watching TV, everyone's kind of watching it.
Speaker: I think this one's easy. She's watching TV and smelling food that Jenny's cooking.
Speaker: there There is an answer to this. Yeah, I read the comment. And I find it to be an interesting answer. matthew Sarah is playing chess. Jenny is cooking.
Speaker: Gina is watching TV. Imagine that these are the only people in the house also. So what is the fourth sister doing? Maintaining them. keeping Keeping that reality. She's loving that. She is the house.
Speaker: She's standing in some relation to them. When you close your eyes and imagine the fourth sister, first of all, what's her name? Jimmy. or Jenny. No, you can't you can't name her Jenny because there's already a sister called Jenny.
Speaker: That was actually the wrong answer. Sorry. That was the only way to get a wrong with another name. Okay. Mary. Good. Happy now? I'm happier. She's being Mary.
Speaker: Mary? That's just Mary doing Mary. I really don't know. I feel like there's not enough information. Well, a lot of ah ah lot of really big britain a lot of really big brain commenters agree with you, Matthew. Like Brian Richards says, insufficient information. A lot of people say playing chess with Sarah. However, Alex may be playing chess with Sarah. Sarah may be playing chess against her PC or a friend. So there is nothing to indicate what the fourth sister is doing or where she is.
Speaker: And I really agree with that. This riddle takes place before computers were invented. Oh, that would have been good to know. So the answer is blank. Yeah, and they don't have friends, really.
Speaker: But they should have put all that information in the in the riddle. Yes, they should have said, her friends and just as a reminder before you answer, Chess is a two-player game. Now, what is the fourth player? What is the fourth sister doing? They have no friends.
Speaker: I am going to read one to you guys. And this one is handwritten. ah Wow, they post a lot, huh? They post like a billion a day.
Speaker: wait this is crazy. They literally post like a billion a I'm scrolling. I'm only back by like eight hours. This is insane. Wait, I have a riddle. i' have a riddle for you guys. You work at the riddle factory. This is actually a brain test. Okay, go ahead.
Speaker: Hope you're okay with that. It's not exactly a riddle. It's more of a brain test. ah Brain test. How many numbers are there? Six, zero, four.
Speaker: Hmm. There are one, which is six, two, which is zero, three, which is four, four, which is 60.
Speaker: I'm not going to count zero four as its own number. And then I'll say five as 604. Final answer. There are five numbers. I will say that there are two numbers because zero is not a number.
Speaker: Well, then, ah Derek, you're in agreement with Jean Thaler and Jesse Marie McDonald. And Pierce, you're in agreement with no one. I don't know about i don't know what the truth of the matter is, but I can I can tell you what the normal answers are.
Speaker: The normal response. I feel good about that. The normal response is two. short shortly shortly followed by three. i feel I feel really good about being as smart as somebody commenting on the Facebook riddles only page. Yeah, multiple people have pointed out zero ain't a number. It's not a number, sweetheart. It's actually nothing if I know anything about it.
Speaker: um Okay, I have a one that's really cool. It's not a riddle. It's it's similar and to Matthews in that it's a brain test. Alright, here's the brain test. Imagine you're in a room that's filling up with water quickly.
Speaker: There are no windows or doors. How do you get out and drink all the water? Just imagining this is like kind of a test unto itself. If you can't imagine it, you won't be able to solve the problem. Okay, so let's imagine...
Speaker: So wait, where we we at we're imagining a room filling up with water and then we're imagining escaping. Yes. ah Wait, do we have to escape? No, I just ask how do you out? You don't have to escape, but you have to figure out how you how you would.
Speaker: Just give me give me an answer for do you out. drown if you wish. and I dig through the earth? Okay, so it's filling up with water and what's the weird thing? There's no doors? There's no doors, there's no windows. You can climb through the pipe that the water is coming in.
Speaker: Good answer. that's That counts. Wait, is this from the webpage or is this your idea? No, this is from the webpage. This was posted ah yesterday at 1615. My idea is you wait you wait for the water to sort of erode and kind of deteriorate the walls and turn them into mush and then you can just sort of like push push your way out easily because the water will eventually... People talk about fires, but water actually causes immense, immense damage, especially if it's reached a point
Speaker: where a whole room is filling up with water you know shit's gonna go awry in that building yeah yeah and you'll be able to you'll be able to get out if your ah room is filling up with water you're in pretty good safe hands at that point does the pipe know to stop pushing water in because the room might just pop and Yeah, that would be convenient.
Speaker: That would be convenient. You just wait. Yeah, not all pipes know that. I think my answer is similar to yours, Derek, which is that, um well, it seems that mysterious things are happening.
Speaker: So let's just hope that more more mysterious things happen. And ah at least at some point, it'll stop. This I'll get out. yeah Let's see where this goes.
Speaker: Let's just wait this out. me Yeah. not what What is what does that meme? Just be calm. Not everything needs a reaction.
Speaker: Yeah. That's what I would do. Yeah. What's that other meme? Satire is... ah Bad Luck Brian. h Fuck, I feel like Bad Luck Brian right now.
Speaker: But that not everything needs a reaction. No. Bad Luck Brian was guilty of reacting too much. Like he would always do that weird smile. He would always go to his school. He would always get his picture taken on day. He would always get his picture taken on photo day in reaction to the worst news.
Speaker: Who's bad luck Brian? You don't know about this kid? No. He's famous for his luck. as Oh, I've seen this guy. He's like well known for smiling, right? Yeah, smiling in the face of bad luck and adversity.
Speaker: And just honestly, not just that, but also rotten luck. You just smile about it. Bad luck. Brian's real name is Kyle Edward Craven. Yeah.
Speaker: Craven. That's a terrible last name. Why is it that all ugly redheads have horrible names too? My name is Matthew Coward. I guess people are named Coward. There's no Noel Coward. Right? Isn't that like guy? Yeah. Coward.
Speaker: Craven. um Jesus us Christ. i have ah I have a question for you guys. or wait Matthew, have you asked? You did ask a brain... I think it's a i think it's just my turn, okay? But the actual answer to mine was infinity. How many numbers are there? 604. The answer is infinity. 604 isn't meaningful sentence. It's irrelevant. It's a red herring. Yeah, they just put numbers on that page that had nothing to do with the question. yeah How many numbers are there? 604. Okay, thank you for continuing to talk. But now let me ask. Yeah, let me answer. Thank you for continuing to talk. ah
Speaker: How many numbers are there? 604. Well, I appreciate that you want to keep chatting to me, but I'm going to quickly answer your question. Okay.
Speaker: like It means a lot to me that you want to say some numbers. You said some of them. Cool. Yeah. All right. Do you guys want to hear this brain test? Oh, you have one, Derek. Go ahead.
Speaker: Brain test. If you are in a plane and it's about to crash... Would you prefer it to land on water or a desert? Hashtag riddles.
Speaker: the The question is what you would prefer? Yes. Can you answer this? Any answer accurate accurate then Just be honest. Matthew, why are you so angry? why are you Why are you crashing out right now? I'm sorry. It's just a brain test.
Speaker: You don't have to feel like embarrassed that you don't know the answer. just I'm not embarrassed. I know my preference. Don't yuck my yum. Let people enjoy things. My preference?
Speaker: Yeah. ah Land in the desert where there's no water. Okay. Close. almost You almost got it.
Speaker: do you want to know the you want to know the right answer? I know this one. How do you know? How can you know my preference? No, that you have a preference. but That's what it's asking. But I have the right answer.
Speaker: Your preference is trumps mine? So the question should be phrased, right okay, a plane is crashing. Yeah, but would you prefer it? is the red which would Which would Derek prefer? Would you prefer it is the red herring?
Speaker: When it says, would you prefer it? It's kind of tricking you. But there is a right answer. Okay. Well, I don't understand how that I don't understand how the question is a trick. If you're in a restaurant and the waiter, the server, whatever politically correct thing to say is, they ask, what would you prefer to eat for dinner?
Speaker: And you say, oh I want steak frites. I see where you're going with this. But Matthew, the though the waiter didn't say brain test before they posed that question, though. And they didn't hashtag riddles it, did they?
Speaker: Okay fair okay I'm gonna I'm gonna pose the question this identical question i'm going to pose it this in a different way um a plane crashes which would you prefer it lands in the desert or the ocean but actually what I'm asking is where did the plane land um That's like sort of the hidden... The hidden brain test is is asking... You know, you can prefer desert, ocean, you can prefer anything, but the plane did crash and it did land and we're just trying to figure out where it landed. Another way to phrase the question is what's harder, sand or water?
Speaker: Water. Depends. Depends. Yeah. Another way to phrase the question is if you're plane that's about to crash...
Speaker: Would you prefer that it do crash or that it lands successfully? so my answer is, okay, you're in a plane that's about to crash. I would say i would prefer that land on a landing strip in the desert successfully.
Speaker: My answer would be, it depends. It depends on whether you have a will to live. Yeah, or who's on the plane, or is it even possible to is it even possible to land it safely? Because if not, then I would prefer that we don't even try.
Speaker: and we should just crash. ha ha ha!
Speaker: If you're always going to crash when you land it, let's just keep flying forever. Just don't just don't just don't crash. if the If the landing gear fails and the pilot gets on the comms and he says, unfortunately, the landing gear has failed. There is no way to safely land the plane. I think everyone on the plane would probably say, that's fine. Let's just not land.
Speaker: Let's just live in the sky. Yeah, let's just keep going like this. Let's stick to the first sentence of the riddle where you're just playing in the sky. Let's stick to that area. Even if someone says, like, are you serious? You want to stay in this plane forever? We're going to run out of food. It's going to be horrible. yeah Eventually, we're going to run out of fuel.
Speaker: And then the rest of the passengers can say, dude, chill out. The the captain said we would we can't land. so And the riddlelin didn't say the riddle didn't say that food was finite.
Speaker: So there's no way of knowing that we'd run out of food. There's all kinds of ways to solve these problems. You can fish for birds outside of the plane. ah yeah you you can capture birds and you can probably make fuel out out of the birds birds birds you're really important ah well the birds keep flying the birds keep flying so i imagine if you get their abilities then you would keep flying
Speaker: Wait, does this riddle take place? like We can get birds' abilities, though. It didn't say we couldn't. It did not say that. and there I think it's a genie, too. okay in a world where you can take abilities from other beings, a plane is falling or moving. a plane is moving.
Speaker: what do you what what do you want What do you prefer happens for the rest of your life going forward?
Speaker: And you also have some wishes. you have wishes. it's just You have a certain number of wishes. How many wishes do you have? You have a certain number of wishes. Go on, tell me how many you have and tell me what you want.
Speaker: and then it's like, wait a minute, don't answer too fast. Make sure that you have enough wishes to get everything done. And if you don't, wish for a couple more. Alright, here's a brain test.
Speaker: What starts with M... And ends. Close. okay And ends with M. Alright. Starts with M and ends with M. Okay, Matthew, you're going with mommy.
Speaker: You're locking in mommy. Mommy. Alright. It starts with M and ends with M? Yep. m M and M.
Speaker: Is that right? Matthew, I'm afraid you already locked in mommy. Fair enough. What do the comments say? First comment by Jeffrey Fiennes. He responds to this riddle.
Speaker: Wrong. What starts with W and ends with T? How did you pass a school without knowing this? It's the bare minimum. So what Jeffrey has cleverly suggested is that the question is not a question because it doesn't even have a question mark. It says what starts with M and ends with M?
Speaker: And it's he said wrong. False statement. oh But Jason Madgerkick, he responded, Madam is the first one I thought of.
Speaker: Magnesium is the second. ah And Cheyenne Simmons said, Mom. and o mush Here's one that says, Mom, Minimum, Maximum, Medium, Modern, Modem, Madam, Millennium, Memorandum, Mushrooms.
Speaker: Momentum and minimum. But they have they have modern and mushrooms in there. i actually mispronounced modem when I said modern. I see. i see Wow, a lot of people are commenting. This is a very funny image. It's just like one million boomers that all comment mom in a row. Mom.
Speaker: Mom, mom, mom. Mommy. Alright, anyone else have some? I feel like I'm getting good at these. I don't think I've solved a single one. Okay, here's one. Brain test.
Speaker: Sometimes I am born in silence. Other times I am unseen, but I make my presence known. In time, I fade without a trace. I harm no one, but I am unpopular with all. What am I?
Speaker: scream.
Speaker: No. Because I am born in silence. Isn't a scream born in silence? Silence gives birth to noise. Well, you can ramp up to a scream from like chatter. That's true.
Speaker: Okay, yeah I'm born in silence, and i and there are other qualities as well. Is that what how it goes? I'm born silence. ah I am unseen, but make my presence known.
Speaker: In time, I fade without trace. I harm no one, but am unpopular with all. I think I know the answer to this one. I haven't looked at the comments yet. Oh, it's an unloved child whose mom was ball gagged while giving birth to...
Speaker: But then they they fade without a trace. Do unloved children actually do that? Yeah, if they're unloved enough. Yeah. Yeah. Supremely unloved. Loved by no one. Supremely. Hated. Hated. Or not even hated. Just not regarded. Mm-hmm. Like, no infamy. i mean, just a non-player.
Speaker: The ball gag mom gives birth to this tyke and then the they just let it be and it sort of fades away over the eons. Yeah. Deteriorate. disliked by all. um can i Can I tell you what I think the answer is? What is answer?
Speaker: i think this is a fart. Sometimes I am born in silence. Other times, no. I am unseen, but I make my presence known. I fade without a trace. I harm no one, but I am unpopular with all. It has to be a fart.
Speaker: Well, yes, but there are some fart lovers. Yeah. Farts to be popular. find Who find the... Them liking the fart makes the fart popular. Yeah.
Speaker: No, I guess fart lovers, they're like, I love them, but I know they're not so popular. Yeah, yeah I think you're right. It's probably a fart or toot. or Yeah, like a maybe not a fart, but like the smell of shit coming out of it. Someone took a shit, but they didn't fart that much. and There's not that much water in the toilet.
Speaker: And then you flush it, meaning it fades without a trace. you know You understand? i understand. here's ah Here's one that you're going love, Matthew. I almost feel like you wrote this riddle. Laura is restrained all night long with her hands pinned to her sides while she cries out occasionally.
Speaker: Someone watches her on a video camera. No one is alarmed and Laura is happy in the morning. Why? oh that's just what they do.
Speaker: yeah it was an erotic, it was sort of a scene playing out. someone Someone, everyone involved in the story came as a result. It was very attractive. I like the riddles that are like, we're going to tell you a story. and then we're going ask you why.
Speaker: But not tell you everything. Why is this good? Yeah. why Why is this nice? you You can describe any horrible thing and then end it with, but then they all loved it. Why?
Speaker: why Why? Because the sound society had failed them, I reckon. Yeah, it's how they were raised. They probably did all that because it was how they were raised. like A man killed his entire family, but in the morning, his family was still alive.
Speaker: Why? Well, because because someone got their wires crossed. That thing didn't quite happen. Someone lied. we
Speaker: Because I'm an unreliable narrator. Yes. Yes. Because I lie. Just because lying exists. That's why. So Laura was tied up and restrained. She she was tied up all night long. She even cried out occasionally.
Speaker: and She was videotaped and someone watched. But in the morning she was quite pleased. It was probably part of a a sleep study. Three comments. And I'll give you one of them. One of the comments is almost a hint despite being the answer.
Speaker: It's from Terry Levin again. He writes, she's an infant. Okay. People do that to infants? They were stringing them like that?
Speaker: Yes, they were stringing them with their hands pinned to their sides and they even cry out occasionally. And they're videotaped. Is that true? Wait, they have their hands pinned to their sides?
Speaker: What's that about? Oh, I guess people do like bundle. They bundle infants, right? Yeah, it's called. I believe it's called swaddling. Swaddling. Yeah. Why didn't they just say that in the riddle?
Speaker: This baby was being swaddled by totally normal parents. why It's an antinatal. Why do they have a fucking kid?
Speaker: yeah They don't get it. And the guy that was watching was jacking off. Is that what the riddle said? No, they were simply enjoying it. It was just implied by the incomplete riddle.
Speaker: Yes. Here's a good one. Brain test. This is all caps and there's no question mark. I'm the only bug you can play as a sport. Cricket.
Speaker: Correct. I won that one. Wait, can you repeat it? I'm the only bug you can play as a sport. Ant hurting. Ant harming. andt harm Yeah.
Speaker: Beetle stomping.
Speaker: Fly.
Speaker: hurt Hurt a fly. ah Yeah, so the question's wrong. It's not the only... Any bug can be played as a sport. Yeah, spider. yeah I have a question for you guys.
Speaker: Why is a bullet like a tender glance? Is that from the page? Yeah. It can be loaded. It can it can be it can loaded.
Speaker: Loaded meaning. You can use it someone you love. can use it on someone.
Speaker: You can carry it in ah in a car. no i guess not. You won't hear it if it's been silenced. It's not welcome when you're when you feel like being alone.
Speaker: if you hit If it hits you in the back of the head, you don't know about it. i like that answer. Yep. But it's also true of anything from the back of the head. Except for a dart, like a harmless nerf dart.
Speaker: Yeah, you'd feel that. Harmless nerf dart, you'll know. Yeah. Harmless nerf dart, you'll know. What's the answer to that one? Uh, this is one that everyone, every fan of this page has ignored.
Speaker: There are no comments on this one.
Speaker: No one is interested in answering why a bullet is like a tender glance. I'm not interested in this one. That's fair. That's fair. They're not interested. i feel like people who like riddles don't really like tender glances, so they probably don't have much to say about it.
Speaker: Well, tender glances are just so obvious what they mean. I think riddle lovers love glances because glances are so vague. But what is a tender glance? What do you have to do with your face in order to make the glance tender? Yeah, I feel like a glance can't be tender. To be tender, you have to have a more kind of lingering. You have to linger.
Speaker: you maybe that's what it They're both like hard to see. hap they're both It's really hard to tell what's going on with them. A bullet and a tender glance. Yeah, they're both too quick to really get.
Speaker: <unk>s It's hard to understand them. um I love this one. This is brain test. I'm creamy, sweet, and cold. What am I?
Speaker: Ice cream. Yes. And then yeah all the comments say ice cream. Ice cream. Harold Newkirk, ah a bald old man with glasses who looks quite sweet, says, Ice cream. Ice cream. Yum. And I'm yummy.
Speaker: Yum. Here's one. 11 minus 11 times 11 plus 11. you this? Is 11? 11. eleven minus eleven times eleven plus eleven can you solve this is it eleven I don't know.
Speaker: I just heard the number 11 a lot. Didn't you guys? Yeah. 11 is like a hint for what the answer is. The answer is yes, I can solve that. Good answer.
Speaker: Certainly can. Yeah. Wow. I wish. I think our whole podcast should be riddles only. Riddles only. should become moderators of this site. Some of these things don't appear to be riddles. Some of them are just sort of meme images, but...
Speaker: The page is called riddles only, so I can only assume there is they're asking a question. You have to figure out how it's a riddle as part of it. Okay, so here's a riddle. ah Remember when teachers hype you up about the pizza party to give you this?
Speaker: And it's an image of a pizza and what looks like a plastic or ah a plastic cup of soda. And then there's an image of a ah Twitter post ah by a man named Dom.
Speaker: And the post says, now that I'm older and i realize that they most likely paid for this out of pocket, this made me appreciate teachers more as they are criminally underpaid. Ah, there's so many elements to this riddle.
Speaker: Yes, I do remember getting pizza and soda, but I also did not know that the teachers were underpaid. Criminally underpaid. Okay, so the riddle is kind of, oh, I see what the riddle is.
Speaker: Well, hey, name a time that a criminal gave you pizza and soda. And normally you wouldn't be able to think of it. Be like, oh, my well my teacher did. That was my teacher did that. Yeah. And they're criminally.
Speaker: My teacher was doing something criminally. They're being underpaid criminally. But yes, something is criminal about them. They're not. They shouldn't be around me. I'm just a cute kid. Rich teachers would solve a lot of problems for children who are disappointed. That's the solution to the riddle. The solution to most riddles is pay teachers more. They're clearly underpaid. If you don't know this riddle, pay teachers more.
Speaker: Alright, I have a really good brain test here. ah Would you rather be the star player on a losing team... Or a bench warmer on a winning team? i Would I rather be the star player on a winning team?
Speaker: Sure. Losing team. Okay, well, you can't win. I would be a loser on a winning team? Yeah. Would you rather be the star player of a losing team?
Speaker: Or a bench warmer a winning team? Oh, that's really hard riddle. And a bench warmer is like a specific tool they use. yeah Would you rather have sentience or be like an object? Yeah, the bench warmer is ah it's like a it's a heater. it How much does it get paid? i guess is my other question. ah it's It gets paid a living wage.
Speaker: Okay. That's pretty good. I guess I would rather be the star, though. Okay. Yeah, I'd say same. Star. Okay. Am I wrong? You guys guessed correctly because the star player goes on to win more games in the future. and t gets drafted to a good team.
Speaker: He gets better on better team later. Okay, cool. Wow. Yeah. It's nice when riddles have a future. That star's name could be Shohei Otani, right? Because he used to be on a losing team.
Speaker: ah Mmm. That's kind of interesting. Spell Rudolph without using an R. No. You refuse? I won't.
Speaker: And there's only one answer to that. the Many people have answered and there's only one way they've all answered. ah how did How did people answer? Udolph. They simply followed directions and Udolph excluded the R. They excluded the R. Cool. Done. Easy.
Speaker: oh Here's a good one. i have a head i have a head like a cat and feet like a cat, but I am not a cat. What am I? ah cat's head and legs.
Speaker: ah ah
Speaker: Yeah, just some cat pieces. Easy enough. but it Simply an incomplete cat. It's a pile of cat pieces.
Speaker: ah but The riddle told me it wasn't a cat, so I'm not going to get tripped up by this and say that it's a cat. Yeah, it's definitely not a cat if you just see a pile of that. That's not a cat anymore.
Speaker: oh it's got a head like a cat, a legs like a cat, but it's not a cat? I don't know. I feel like I know all the information. I feel like you told me the answer. If you cut a cat's body off, the cat would say, i have a head like a cat and legs like a cat, but I am not a cat.
Speaker: it and This is a really good comment. Anything. It doesn't say head that looks like a cat's head. It says I have a head like a cat.
Speaker: Hell, I have a head like a cat, too. We all have heads. We all have heads. Speaking. it's not It's not head like it's not head like a cat's head. It's head like a cat.
Speaker: so It's a being that has a head that is like a complete I think the answer is, okay, I have a head like a cat and feet like a cat, but I'm not a cat. The answer is, I'm three cats.
Speaker: Like on top of each other? Wearing a trench coat? Yeah, because my head is similar to a whole cat. A whole cat, And that's the first cat.
Speaker: And then my feet, I have about three or four. Let's say have... How many cats did I say it was? Five? Three. oh yeah, because cats have hands. I guess that's why I said that.
Speaker: then I have two feet, and each of them is a cat. What's the middle cat for? Just body. Sometimes you just need a little segment there, right? Okay, yeah. Yeah, sometimes.
Speaker: Here's one. Maybe the final one. This is also handwritten. A woman married 10 different men over the course of her lifetime. However, she never divorced.
Speaker: She wasn't widowed and she wasn't a polygamist. How is this possible? Hashtag riddles. She married how many times? 10. She married 10 different men.
Speaker: These men, they they... She was a minister.
Speaker: she only officiated these weddings and then if that's not the case then I would say that these were 10 men who wanted to be they wanted their names to be married and she married she simply married them them permanently it turns she had the authority to change your name to Mary yeah she had it or already or when it said she wasn't a polygamist that part was wrong yeah there was just one piece of incorrect information there No, she was married to them all.
Speaker: That's what a polygamist is. Or maybe she renewed her vows ten times. Is that allowed? It says ten different men, but maybe a single man kept getting his head bumped and got confused and changed his name. Yeah, he was acting different.
Speaker: You're different. Let's get married again. Let's renew our vows. You're different. You've changed. Let's renew. Good thing I still love you. no Yeah, that's reasonable.
Speaker: what I want to ask a billion more. Ask one. Okay. I have a riddle for you guys. If one of you wants to read this. Wait, why wouldn't you read it?
Speaker: Because i can't pronounce this shit. What is... What am I looking at here? Wait, we have to describe this visually first. This is an AI-generated image of a girl sitting on a... ah It's not a hospital bed. It's like a physical therapy bed. She has stumps instead of arms.
Speaker: And then she has prosthetic legs on her stump thighs. Yeah, kind of steampunk-style prosthetics. But there's also an insert of her as having arms and legs. Yeah, so we're we're to ah have understood that she she was walking in a school uniform. But now she's lost charms and legs, yes. Harmony Rose Allen, who survived with only a 10% of survival, has started secondary school at the age of 11 after achieving incredible milestones.
Speaker: So what's the answer? Um...
Speaker: Well, only one commenter has endeavored to solve this problem. And he said, I would love to take you to a McDonald's with mommy and daddy. Correct. that is That's the only rational response to something but
Speaker: Good looking it out, Joel. she needed She needed an answer and you gave her one. Joel. Yeah, thanks for taking the hit, Joel.
Speaker: Thanks for doing that for us. shall we ah Shall we walk away? Let's simply walk away. We're done. Let's walk away. You can't solve every riddle. um But you can try.
Speaker: yeah you can try. That's what life's all about. You can always just ask your community for help. yeah And you can find out what the normal answer is.
Speaker: This is not normal. Have you ever been anything like this before? Hold on. I do know that this is not normal.
Speaker: Is this...
Speaker: This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. Nobody else's children do this. This is not normal.
