Transcript
Speaker: Hello and welcome to Outnumbered the Podcast. I'm Audrey. And I'm Bonnie. We are experienced moms to a combined total of 19 children. In our weekly episodes, we explore relatable topics using our perspectives of humor and chaos. Tune in for advice and encouragement to gain more joy in your parenting journey.
Speaker: Welcome back, friends. We are here with another episode of Outnumbered, and we are super excited to talk to you guys today about confidence and not just teaching our kids, which is usually the first thing we think about when we have a characteristic that we want our loved ones to have, right? But teaching ourselves, learning how to have more confidence ourselves, which I think it's very easy to let go of some of your own self -improvement as you become a mom because your little minions like to take up all your time. So this is going to be a fun one.
Speaker: Yes, absolutely. It's not because we're super confident people, but we see the benefits of having confidence. And so that's why we want to improve it in ourselves and help our kids have it maybe earlier in life than we found it.
Speaker: Yes, I'm glad you mentioned that. Not because we think that we just all have it nailed. Audrey and I are always very often saying, oh, this feels scary. And if anything, we do have a little bit of experience doing those scary things, so we'll share some of that with you as well. But we wanted to start with a funny mom moment. Of course, I got a cute one for you guys today. My little three -year -old has been talking up a storm. He's always been a pretty good little talker, but just the last few weeks, just these
Speaker: ridiculous paragraphs of talking. And his imagination is so cute. He's telling all these stories about how he's Spider -Man and he does this and that. Anyway, so he got hurt the other day and he started to cry. And while I was comforting him, his older brother was just talking to me and he said, is Dean a toddler? He's three now. And I said, actually, technically he's a preschooler to which Dean, the three -year -old, responded, no, I a crying boy.
Speaker: Either a toddler nor a preschooler, just a crying boy. But it's hard though, now he feels so grown up as a three -year -old that I try to say, oh no, you have to sit in the car seat because you're still little. I'm not little, I am big boy now. Okay, well yes.
Speaker: But that balance of, okay, you have to wear underwear, but still sit in the car seat and not sash your mother. Especially not sash your mother. I know. I know. For sure. Okay, so back to confidence. If you, by chance, have a naturally confident child or you yourself are a naturally confident person, you might be tempted to think that this is just a characteristic that you were born with or not.
Speaker: brown hair or blonde hair. But frankly, we believe that just like any personality trait, it can be developed. Some people might just have to work a little bit harder at it than others. Yes. Yes. If this is one of your strengths, you might be like, what's the problem, people? Or if you only have one kid, you're like, oh, I guess all kids are just confident. But then if you have more than one or you're not confident in yourself, you get it. It was funny because I had one kid that
Speaker: My first child was not very confident in it to the point where, you know, we'd go to this, you know, those bouncy houses, blow up things. And she was so scared to go down the slide that finally I grabbed a pair of socks because you have to wear socks in those places. I grabbed a pair of socks. I hauled her in my arms up the slide.
Speaker: kicking and screaming, slid down with her. And then at the bottom, she jumps off my lap and she says, that was so fun. I want to do it again. Totally. Totally. But that lack of confidence that I have another child who the first time they ever went down an escalator, granted, we live in the country. So, you know, it was like
Speaker: I don't know, maybe four or five before he ever saw it. You're the country bumpkins going to the mall like, ooh. Yes, I know. It's like embarrassing. But anyway, so the first time we're going down an escalator, I'm, I'm going behind my, let's say four to five year old and I see them and they're first, you know, they're on the escalator and they're, they put, they take, first I see them take their arms off the side and they hold them out to the side for balance. So they're like balancing, you know, like it's this cool thing.
Speaker: And then I see this little leg come up in the air. So they're standing there on one foot with both arms out and they're like, woo, like flying down the escalator. I'm like, okay, this one is a confident child.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. And it's so interesting. I'm sure we could talk about this in regards to birth order too, both in my family of origin and my current family. The oldest child is one... I don't even know that I would say that they're significantly less confident, but definitely more reserved, especially in situations with strangers. And the next one, side note, I'm the oldest. That's how I was growing up.
Speaker: The next one is like just out there and yeah, balancing on escalators and talking to any strangers. You know, my boys, my oldest would have the next youngest come into the store with them to buy something at the counter because he didn't want to run the risk of having to talk to a stranger. So it's so interesting how they just come packaged that way.
Speaker: You know, chances are good even if you're super confident person, even the most confident person has areas that they're not as confident in. Like if you're a stay at home mom, you might be super confident in how to make dinner and put a baby to sleep and all those things that you have mastered.
Speaker: put you in a boardroom, negotiations, legal terminology, you're going to be like shaking in your boots. You're like, I know nothing here. So I think just naturally we all have areas where we're more confident and less confident. I don't really know of anybody who's so confident that they can just walk in any situation and say anything and do anything and succeed. I think the only people that are adequately described, accurately described like that are maybe sociopaths that are
Speaker: habitual liars that can go into any situation and just play it off. So that's probably a good thing that we know our limitations and know that we don't know everything. And so the situations where we feel the most comfortable is probably where we're going to feel the most confident. You know, when I looked at the definition of confidence, I found a couple of interesting words, words like certainty, faith, reliance, and support. And I thought those were interesting. So today we're focusing on confidence in ourselves
Speaker: or in other words, faith that we are capable of doing something. It's not a cool way of thinking of it. We feel confident when we have faith that everything's going to go the way we expect, right? We get in the car after what I've been driving for 25 years or so, and I am confident that I will get to my destination without problems because I've done it so many times. I have faith that I am totally capable of driving this car without problems.
Speaker: And when you think about it, it seems easy, right? We should have confidence, especially in anything that we have done before. Um, it's just faith in ourselves, but it's maybe not always that easy in practice. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's so, that's so true. Um, you know, there's so much that gets in our way of our feeling confidence. So really confidence is an internal thing, but there, but it's affected by so many things, other people's comments about us, especially when we're young and, and so.
Speaker: susceptible to what other people think. And maybe we haven't developed confidence in ourself yet, and we're looking for input from others around us. That can be a huge confidence destroyer. Our own thoughts about ourself, our belief about our basic value, all these things can just make us confident or just make us internally quaking that self -doubt. And we're going to dig into some of these deeper. I can't wait to talk.
Speaker: about all this, but you know, imposter syndrome, we call it imposter syndrome where it's kind of like a false confidence. So like we're doing something and we're out there and we're doing it and we're like at the same time, we're questioning ourselves. We're like, uh, yeah, if anybody knew, I'm just like this mom, like I have no training for this or anything. Like imposter syndrome is something we do to ourselves in our minds that just why not be confident, right?
Speaker: I think just in general, it's better to put your focus like if you're in a situation where maybe you're looking at not feeling confident or you're looking at your lack of confidence, it's better to focus on your personality strengths than our weaknesses. We all have them. So what is the point? How is it going to help us if we're focusing on our weaknesses?
Speaker: You know, build strengths, build our strengths rather than wish we had certain traits we don't. Like if there's some things that we're just intrinsically that kind of person, like an introvert or an extrovert. If I spent all my time wishing I was an expert and trying to be more like an extrovert, it just, like there's some strengths to being an introvert. And if I focus on those and building those, that's going to give me more confidence than spending all my time wishing away that, oh, I'm so sad that I'm not, you know, what I'm not.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm really glad you mentioned that because I want to clear up right at the beginning that developing confidence does not mean you will naturally, you will just become an extrovert. We often attribute confidence to people who are extroverted who just go into a room and own it and everybody wants to be them and they're just so confident in playing it off. You can be an introvert and be extremely confident. You just probably won't be
Speaker: talking to every single person at the party. You might be in the corner talking to one friend, right? Very confident. Yeah, very confident. But confidence is something that anyone can develop no matter what your personality is like intrinsically. That's a good point.
Speaker: So to start off, we have to address one of the things that you just mentioned, Audrey, our own sense of self or that of our children's, right? So our deepest, most basic identity. Now, if our children or ourselves, again, don't understand that we are intrinsically valuable no matter what we do or don't do, then teaching confidence is going to be
Speaker: a little bit tricky because they're going to think that their value as a human being depends on their performance and sadly there are a lot of people that believe this so this is something that's really important right at the outset yeah this is this is a tricky one because um okay so like those of us who have very strong faith um there's some
Speaker: I don't know how to say it. There's some common teachings that really we can use against ourselves that aren't intended to be used against ourselves. But like, okay, so what we're, what we're talking about here is helping your child understand that they are made by God and that makes them valuable. They're a precious soul. They were in a perfect place to start with. Like there's value in that. They were created by God.
Speaker: There's just so much value in that. If God saw fit to create us, then that is a valuable thing. That is a beautiful thing. There's a verse in the Bible that says, I'm beautifully and wonderfully made. We can't ever take away from that.
Speaker: Um, it's, it's just, it's just is like, we, like, we can't even question that. And so when a, when a child has a strong faith base, that is a really, really easy thing to, um, it's not easy. It's a really good place to start. So then, you know, give yourself a reminder. You are also created in his image, right? So the thing that I was talking about referring to is like.
Speaker: There's kind of this Christian teaching about humility that we have that we can kind of turn on ourselves
Speaker: And it's a trap that we fall into and we think, we can get to the place where we think that low self -esteem is humility. Like if we're just, you know, I am nothing, I'm worth nothing, I am nothing, I'm such a bad person. All these low self -esteem thoughts that we apply to ourselves and we can say, well, this is good. Cause this is, I'm like just, I'm feeling humble. That's not humility. That's not, and maybe we should do a whole episode on the difference between low self -esteem and humility, but just know for this,
Speaker: episode right here that that is not humility and because you are created by God you have value.
Speaker: I'm so glad you brought that up because honestly this was the biggest challenge of mine when I was a young adult I had some serious issues with my own Understanding my own value and I took it to mean that I was being this good humble Christian, right? And I actually read a book we'll link to it if I can still find it might be out of print It's been pretty old but it's called confronting the myth of self -esteem and this author a Christian author who talks about how we are taught that we have this intrinsic value and
Speaker: and we are also taught to be humble, but self -deprecating thoughts and thinking horribly about yourself is actually just another form of pride because it's all about you.
Speaker: was a little bit of a wake -up call. I'm like, oh. And it's actually not really self -esteem we're going for. We're going, we're looking for godly esteem, right? He has esteemed us as this wonderful, valuable person. That is enough. And we go about our lives understanding that we have intrinsic value. And to teach our children something like that will, is probably the most important thing we can teach them for the rest of their lives, right?
Speaker: Interestingly enough, kids actually tend to pick this up pretty quickly. Why wouldn't they be valuable, right? They haven't yet had the experience of the world beating them down and telling them that they're not important sweet little things, you know? But adults have years of conditioning, of being told that they're not valuable or of failures and they've taken that to mean that they're less than.
Speaker: A variety of experiences can cause this knowledge of our value to waver. So, you know, if this is something that you're thinking you struggle with, you might just need a little reminder, maybe some journaling, maybe some prayer meditation to remind yourself of your intrinsic value.
Speaker: Yes, that is, that is so true. So like you can't, you can't practice, you can't move toward confidence if you're not starting from a good place. Like if you're starting like on a number line, if you're starting below zero, it's going to be a long way to get up to confidence, which is, you know, the positive numbers. So just, just maybe a caution there that you need to address that first in yourself or in a kid. Somehow. I mean, you know, sometimes kids have pick up this thought, maybe it's something through somebody.
Speaker: Maybe it's through something someone said that they're not valuable and so just like get them back to zero and then let's let's move on. So now we're going to move on to talking about practice. So practicing confidence. We have to push our kids.
Speaker: We have to push ourselves to do things that are hard and scary and not easy. Things that develop our confidence because they're just like, we're not going to do these on purpose because they're hard and they're scary. And so, you know, with each kid, it's going to be different with itself. It's going to be different about what things that you practice to develop confidence. But like for kids, have them interact with a stranger at a store, make a phone call, do something they've never done before.
Speaker: Um, fill out a check is one for my kids. They're like, because it's so rare that they use checks nowadays. They're like, uh, mom, how do I do this again? I don't even think my husband knows how to fill one out. I'm the only one that does them. And I do them about three times a year. Start a business. We have lots of episodes about kids and starting businesses or do it yourself. Um, conflict resolution, just things that you don't have much confidence in. And you notice that a kid is really lacking confidence in start there.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah. And a great little tip for the kids that are just petrified out of their minds to go talk to a stranger or do something outside of the home. You can role play. Role play is a really fun way to get them, if not excited about it, at least a little bit more comfortable with the idea of walking into the library and asking for a specific book or something that they're a little bit nervous about. And moms don't get off the hook for practice either. You can also role play if it helps. Honestly, sometimes when I'm facing something that's really scary to me, I just
Speaker: play it out in my head. Okay, I'm gonna walk in and I'm gonna say this thing and they're gonna say this thing and then I'm gonna say this thing and then we're gonna exchange the thing and it's all over, right? Because that's something that's kind of scary for me too.
Speaker: to strangers. Ugh. So what is it for you? I'm sure you have one that you're thinking about, something that you'd like to be a little bit more confident in. A few examples, public speaking. Anybody have a terrifying fear of public speaking? Teaching the class. That's kind of like public speaking, but just smaller, right? Sharing a skill with someone. Like maybe there's just, maybe you have
Speaker: a goal to get better at standing up in front of people and you could start by sharing your skill of sewing for example with some of the neighbor kids and then you could reach out to some of the moms and ask them if they wanted to come over so building it little at a time again building a business great one for adults as well or getting a new job and that can be a scary one especially if you've been out of the job market for a while
Speaker: even just making a new friend, right? Talking to strangers again, or traveling to a foreign country can be scary, learning a talent. Any number of things may have been on your to -do list or your bucket list, but you're just a little bit afraid to start. Pick one. Yeah. Yeah. And we've talked a lot about finances on this podcast and did various episodes.
Speaker: if your spouse is the one that always does the bills, but a little confidence by learning, you know, learning to do it yourself with them there holding your hand, helping you out with it. Just so many different ideas. So when you or your kids start this practice, be aware that all sorts of uncomfortable thoughts and feelings are gonna start popping up. I can't do this. This is too hard. I feel sick. I'm not qualified. I wanna go back to my safe place. I'd rather, you know, all those thoughts are gonna start popping up.
Speaker: A place where it's really common to see this in kids is when you're doing art with them. And you see a lot of times so often you see kids and hear kids say, I can't do this. I'm not good. I'm not good at this. Like, yeah, there's some intrinsic talent when, you know, art or not. But every talented artist has started back at the beginning with their talent and developed it through practice and practice. So confidence is something that can be developed as well.
Speaker: I think I shared in another recent episode about my kids were doing art and they have, we like to do the Chuck Bastel, the lessons with Nana. And Nana always at the beginning and the end, she says, you are an artist. And so my five -year -old was getting discouraged and I said, don't be discouraged. Remember, Nana said, you are an artist. So whatever you create is art.
Speaker: And that really helped her with her confidence, like, oh, anything I create is art, because I am an artist. So put yourself in the place where you want to be. Pretend you're already there. You're already the expert at it. And then operate from that place. I'm already really good at water skiing. Let's just throw something random out there. Pretend like you already are, and you're just having a bad day or whatever. But really, normally, you're very good at this or whatever. Whatever. You're really good at talking to strangers.
Speaker: Like just use the practice to get you to the place where you already are in your mind. Oh, I really like that. That's a great concept. Instead of thinking of yourself as a beginner, as this newbie who is going to struggle and it's going to be painful and you're going to hate every minute of it. Just, I'm already good at this. It's just, for some reason I feel nervous today. Weird.
Speaker: pushing forward, you know? When you're talking about the art thing, so I've thought about this so many times. Children are, until probably, gosh, maybe age seven or eight, are just so open to doing new things, right? Want to try to build the Taj Mahal out of popsicle sticks? Yeah, let's do it. Want to try water skiing? Sure. Climb a tree? Okay. Like the sky is the limit. There's nothing they can't do.
Speaker: And only through experience, and of course, usually nasty comments from other people, because sometimes way in, they start to realize, I can't do everything. And I mean, yes, physically we can't. There are some things physically we cannot do. But when that window of possibility starts to shorten, you know, get smaller, it's a very sad thing to watch unless we are there prompting them. You can still try this. You can still try. And by being an example of it, right? So as adults, like, how many times have you met someone
Speaker: And they've said, especially the fine arts, oh, I don't draw. Oh, I can't draw. I can't paint. Well, no five -year -old has ever said, I can't paint. Of course he can. He has a brush and he has paint. He can paint, you know? But as adults and older children as well, we have these huge pie in the sky expectations of ourselves. So that might be a really great place to start. Get rid of those lower expectations. There we go. The tagline again. You know, just knock those expectations out of your mind. There is zero expectation for you to do this right or correctly or
Speaker: well or expert level or however you think it should be done or that you would want it to be done, you're just doing. And in the doing comes the confidence, comes the develop skill, comes the ability to get better and better and better. And chances are good you're never going to be a world -class artist. That's okay, you could if you wanted to, but who says you have to? You can just paint because you like to paint or you can just public speak because you like to speak in public, not because you're the best of the best. We can just do it and build confidence because we want to.
Speaker: Okay, so finally, this is where our beloved thought work comes in when we start to take a closer look at the thoughts that we're allowing into our mind and maybe kick some out or change some of these thoughts so that we can gain this confidence a little bit more easily.
Speaker: So how we teach ourselves and our kids to reframe these thoughts into more helpful thoughts is by choosing something that is still believable, but is maybe a little bit closer to our goal. So, for example, we were saying, oh, like, you know, thoughts like I can't do this, or I feel sick when I try this, or I'm no good at this, right?
Speaker: Pay attention to those thoughts and try to reframe them in just a slightly different way. So something that is hard, you could choose to think, this is hard, but I can do hard things. I pushed out babies. I can do hard stuff, right? Or, oh, I feel sick to my stomach. That's interesting.
Speaker: I guess this is what a flood of adrenaline feels like because I feel like I'm kind of in a fight or flight right now. This is what adrenaline does. It makes me kind of tingly. It makes me a little bit nauseated. Huh. Interesting. Interesting. I bet this will lessen as time goes on. I bet this will not be as strong the fifth or 10th time that I do this, right? To just be really curious about this. I'm learning new skills, right? Say you are picking up painting.
Speaker: My painting doesn't look anything like the one I was trying to paint. Oh, this is what it looks like when I'm a beginner. Cool. I'm learning new skills just like this lady did when she was starting out, right? So these believable but much kinder thoughts to yourself that allow for progression and allow for a development of confidence.
Speaker: Yes, it is. Confidence is all in our mind. So we can help our kids by overcome their fears just by helping them with their thinking. Isn't that amazing? So they can go do physical things just by changing the thoughts in the mind about it. It's just fantastic.
Speaker: fascinating to me every time I think about it that like I can change physical move physical objects with just by changing the thoughts in my mind it's pretty interesting so we can we can share our own journey we can another way I like to say this so we can share our journey
Speaker: from the past, you know, things that we've been scared of or didn't know anything about and now we're confident in and how we got from no confidence to confidence. Another thing, another way I like to apply this to myself or practices for myself is I want to be an example of confidence going forward for my kids. So the thing that I don't have confidence in right now, I want to be an example of how to get confidence for my kids in the future. So
Speaker: kind of a fun example of this is recently I traveled with my husband to Florida and he was on a business trip and so I had the days free to do whatever I wanted and so I decided I was gonna go do things that I would want my kids to do if they were you know on a trip on vacation in Florida and so I went and did all the fun stuff like all the fun stuff and I would take pictures and text pictures back to my kids like I went kayaking and I took this shuttle over
Speaker: to this island where they had all these shells and I did all this stuff and we saw dolphins and it was like crabs and it was just like this so amazing like fun time like why not right but if I just said to myself um I've never kayaked before I've never
Speaker: I've never taken a boat on the ocean by myself before or ridden on a boat. I've never, I've never explored an island with shells by myself. Like all these, all these things and just been like, let this fear keep me back and do nothing instead of done the safe thing.
Speaker: Which was just you know stay in the hotel room and wait for my husband to get done working for the day and then us go out together but I wanted to be an example of of confidence and a fun for my kids and like I've never done this before but that doesn't mean I can't try So it was just like that comes to mind because it was recent and it was fun but also just using it as an example of like I want to sometimes
Speaker: I actually borrow confidence from my kids and who I want them to be in the future. So I'm borrowing from who I hope their future selves are to help myself be confident today. And that's just all in my mind. They're not physically that person that I want them to be in the future. But I can borrow from the thought of them being that confidence person in the future. So in that way, we can help ourselves and then we can help our kids too. That's so great. What a great example.
Speaker: You know, it reminds me too that we have to be sure that we're giving ourselves and our children opportunities to develop confidence. It is very easy to just sit inside your proverbial hotel room and not really put yourself out there, right? And yet then we don't develop it, our children don't develop it. And sometimes they will push back, very often they will push back if it's something scary. But by showing them an example, like, hey, you know, I did this thing the other day and it was scary. You now have that example, right? Of saying, you know, when I was on that trip with your dad,
Speaker: It was kind of scary for me to go out and do this thing, but I really wanted to, and so I did. Should we try it? Should we just let you try this thing and see how it turns out, you know? So things like a new opportunity to make friends, going to strange places, visiting different towns,
Speaker: I'm giving them opportunities for jobs or businesses. I'm thinking of my own childhood. I grew up kind of a scared little introvert until about middle school my family moved to Mexico. So we moved to a foreign country and I was scared out of my mind.
Speaker: technically knew it as a child, Spanish as a child, couldn't remember anyone when I got there. You know, middle school as a train wreck. It was awful. It was so awful. But, you know, when I came back to the States, I now looking back, I realized I had so much confidence because I had done all these scary things. I'd walk into a school full of people that didn't know how to communicate with me and sat in front of classes. Well, they did, but, you know, less so that I would have like sat in classes where I didn't understand a word that was going on. And I came out alive.
Speaker: And it was terrifying, and I did it. And then in my high school years, I'm able to see how that benefited me. I was able to try out for sports that I had no business trying out for, just because it sounded fun, you know? And did all these things that were scary because I developed this confidence through this other big scary opportunity. So just remind yourself that it feels really good to shelter your kids. It feels really good to keep them happy at home and not doing scary things. But what is that teaching them? And how are they going to develop the confidence without these opportunities? Yeah.
Speaker: So developing confidence is something that will serve you and your children forever for the rest of your life and really any facet, right? Understanding your value and that the world needs what you have to share or your children is a really, really important concept. And to be willing and able to own the space that you take up in the world. I think the world loves to tell women that we need to be a little bit quieter, a little bit smaller, a little bit less
Speaker: confident because that's who we're supposed to be, I guess. But we are all made, like you said, beautifully and wonderfully made, right? All made for a purpose. And by having the confidence to go out and give the world what we have, we're going to make the world a much better place and be more well -rounded ourselves. Yeah. Yeah. That is really neat. So I start this. I start this
Speaker: journey toward confidence by asking myself, who's going to teach me confidence?
Speaker: Like here I am, I'm an adult, right? 40 something years old. Who's going to teach me confidence? Nobody. I have to do it myself. And then I asked myself, as far as it comes to my kids, who do I want to be teaching confidence to my kids? I don't want to give that job to anybody else. That one's on me. Okay. So I want to be the one teaching my kids confidence. I want them 20 years in the future. Here we go. 20 year vision. I want them to tell a story about their mom who,
Speaker: did XYZ and that taught them confidence, right? Like how lonely or how like disempowering would it feel to have your kid tell a story about somebody else who taught them confidence? And yes, there will be those stories in their lives, but the ones that they tell about you or the one that taught them confidence or you were confident in something and that taught them to be confident. Those are the ones that are going to empower you and them like to future, future confidence. And then they'll be teaching that to their children.
Speaker: like there's not anybody else really that is gonna teach us confidence. And so that's something we have to like work on ourselves. And the benefits of it, you know, we might be wrong, but we're gonna be wrong confidently. And then we're gonna learn confidently from those errors and mistakes. And we're gonna go on confident that we can learn something else new. And I just see so much value in that.
Speaker: So just as a review guys, the four steps in teaching yourself and your kid's confidence is number one, to leverage your personal strengths or that of your children. If you are a naturally confident person, you can leverage that. If not, find what else your strengths are, right? And work with those. Number two, acknowledge that intrinsic core value of yourself and of your children. Number three, practice, practice, practice. Do scary things, do hard things that require confidence. And number four, don't forget about your thoughts because they are creating the confidence or the lack of confidence within your very own brain.
Speaker: That's it for this week, guys. I'm Audrey. I'm Bonnie, and we're Outnumbered. Thanks for listening, friends. Click the link in the show notes to subscribe to our email and never miss another episode. Show us some love by leaving a review on iTunes or sharing the podcast with a friend. Thanks for all your support. We'll talk to you next week.
