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#6 - Pregnancy After Loss
57 Plays2 months ago
In this heartfelt episode, Riannon and Jeremy share their experience of navigating pregnancy after the loss of their daughter, Winnie. They discuss the emotions, fears, and challenges they faced during their next pregnancy with their son, Rome, who brought healing and joy into their lives.
They offer insights and tips for those going through a similar journey, emphasising the importance of support and self-care during such a difficult time.
Join the conversation over on Instagram at @mungbean_health.
New episodes drop every second Monday.
If you want to book an appointment with one of our incredible naturopaths, visit our website https://mungbeanhealth.com/.
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Transcript
Introduction to The Bean Talk Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to The Bean Talk with me, Rhiannon, your fertility fairy godmother joined by my trusted partner in life and in the mission of Mung Bean Health, Jeremy.
00:00:22
Speaker
Hello guys, and welcome back to our podcast. Jeremy and I are here. Yeah, hello, welcome back.
Dedication to Late Daughter Winnie
00:00:29
Speaker
We're here to talk about pregnancy after loss. This one's dedicated to our beautiful little Winnie girl. Something I get asked about a lot is pregnancy after loss. And for those of you that don't know, in June last year, we unfortunately lost our beautiful little Winnie girl at 20 weeks gestation.
00:00:48
Speaker
We have done another podcast on this so go back and have a listen if you haven't already. I'm just talking about her beautiful birth story and a little bit more about her. This was definitely the single hardest thing that we've ever been through, together and separate I'm sure, and we wish it upon no one
Welcoming Baby Rome
00:01:07
Speaker
to go through it. But we have been blessed with our beautiful little rhomboy who is an absolute angel.
00:01:13
Speaker
Yeah, Rome, he's such a good guy. He just sleeps so well and he's just the best baby. He seriously is and he is just healing every day. I didn't realize how much he would be. I thought it'd be amazing to have another baby, but you know, how can you ever get over going through something like that, which you never quite get over it. It's always there, but you work through it. But Rome has definitely taught me different, like every day that I like see him and look at him. He's just so cute and beautiful and I'm so thankful that we got him. So let's talk a little bit more about pregnancy after loss. So after we lost our winning girl in June, I fell pregnant again like the next cycle. It was a very quick turnaround. The naturopath in me didn't like how quick that happened and that I didn't have time to heal.
00:01:59
Speaker
my body a little bit better not that I needed to heal up from anything crazy more just like be optimal making sure that I'd taken more probiotics because I'd had to take antibiotics or making sure that my iron levels were optimal and b12 and all those things from a lot of blood loss from Winnie but it is what it is got through it well roams perfect and healthy and the turnaround was really quick so I'm glad that I didn't have to you know I'm very thankful I didn't have to like try. We didn't have to try and like go through that of like, am I pregnant this month? like I really want this. This is happening this month. So I think that was a nice thing that we didn't have to try for. How do you feel? Yeah, like it was it was good. It was all meant to be what how it happened, I guess, because it's all worked out great.
00:02:43
Speaker
Absolutely. I remember one day in the warehouse, I was just feeling like really off and I started to feel like quite nauseous and I was like, oh, that's so weird. like It almost feels like a pregnancy nausea. And I was like, oh better do a test. And then I remember us both just being like, what the what? How did this happen? It happened so quick. like It was not definitely wasn't expected. And I was like so freaking out about my iron levels because I was so low. I was like, oh my gosh, how is this going to go? But look at me here, thriving, getting through it all.
00:03:14
Speaker
got some good quality iron to get those levels back up after
Coping with Fear of Recurrence
00:03:17
Speaker
that. The pregnancy kept progressing and I remember ah through that first 12 weeks obviously a lot of people are like nervous in that time anyway but I just remember sort of thinking putting it out of my mind and being like I don't even know if this is like real like How did you feel in the first couple, like 12 or weeks or so? It's always on your mind to be reverting back to winning's loss, thinking, oh, this could happen again. But then reminding it's a new pregnancy, a new baby. We're confident from the doctors and everything that it was just a freak.
00:03:47
Speaker
HR that happened and then it wasn't a possibility that it could happen again. Very low chances. Yeah, absolutely. I did the nice protocol to make sure that if any bugs or things were going to try and take over that my body was in its best possible way to fight off any bugs.
00:04:07
Speaker
Which it was really like random. If you listen to Winnie's birth story, it was an infection that essentially travelled up vaginally somehow. And it wasn't, it's not even a bug that is meant to be there. So I don't know if the kids were sick and I used like a towel of theirs that they maybe sneezed on or something. Like it had to be a very quick sort of thing the way it happened. and I travelled up to her so I took some really amazing support naturopathically whether it was herbs or nutrients that were essentially great to fight off any bugs and support my natural immunity and also making sure my vaginal microbiome is good. I did two vaginal microbiome tests in that time to make sure that was all nice and strong which it was. Not sure why it wasn't at that one point or how that really strong bug travelled up but side note interestingly enough which I actually forgot to mention in Winnie's birth story but
00:04:56
Speaker
There was another lady that told me one of her friends or a friend of a friend, same thing happened to her like a couple of a month or so, a couple of weeks after it happened to us with Winnie, but unfortunately her story was way worse. She lost the baby like us, but then she ended up getting sepsis. I can't remember if she lost her arms or her legs or all of them, and then she ended up passing away as well.
00:05:21
Speaker
So I was like right on the verge of that sepsis happening with all the infection in hospital. But thankfully I was on really hardcore antibiotics to fight that and I was fine. But if if my waters didn't break, I wouldn't have known because I didn't have any other symptoms. And essentially it could have ended up so much worse. Just remembered that.
Managing Anxiety During Pregnancy
00:05:40
Speaker
I remember being quite like anxious up until that 12 week mark. Look, it really lasted the whole pregnancy. I was quite good and and fine, but there'd be times when I'd have the anxieties.
00:05:49
Speaker
I did some breath work with Nicola. She's amazing. She really helped me get through that first 12-ish weeks, I think I did. Maybe a bit more, maybe it was our first and second trimester. But to really get over those anxieties of like, this could happen again, like what am i who am I to say that this won't happen again the way it happened? Even though it was super rare for it to happen even once. And that's like not normal for me. I'm not an anxious person, but obviously trauma sometimes does that to you, unfortunately.
00:06:19
Speaker
And I remember being around that 20 week mark, that was hard. I remember even if I'd like, when I got closer to the end, even if I'd need to pee and I'd be bussing and I'd go and pee and like maybe a little bit would come out, perfect floor was not as strong as it should have been, or I had a bit of discharge or something. And I'd feel that feeling. I remember thinking straight away, oh my God, if my water's broken, going straight back to that ugly place of just, oh gosh, just that nervous rush.
00:06:45
Speaker
Even though everything was fine, obviously it just freaks you out. How were you around that sort of 20-week mom? Yeah, it was definitely hard, but we just kept doing tests, blood tests, and doing the general microbiome swab, and just like reassuring ourselves that everything was going the right way.
00:07:02
Speaker
which was good for peace of mind we were ticking off all those boxes like extra scans and stuff and they gave us as many sort of extra scans as we wanted i remember the her due date that was hard we were actually away in the hunter valley which we hadn't planned for that but we realized when we we're out there and i ended up actually having a reading with Kylie Stewart who does like the beautiful womb readings and spirit guiding and I had it on Winnie's due date which is wild I didn't even realise when I booked that in because I really just put Winnie's due date out of my mind because I didn't want to have to deal with it out of mind out of sight
00:07:38
Speaker
And I remember putting it out and I couldn't even remember her due date. I couldn't even remember it. And then when I had that meeting with her, i I guess I allowed myself to remember and I started to like think about and I was like, yeah, that's right. It was, it was the first of November. And yeah, I just remember that being totally out of it. One of my clients actually had the exact same due date as me. So that's how I ended up like remembering. Cause I was like, oh, that's right. We had the same one. That's when it was, but it's funny how you,
00:08:06
Speaker
Protect yourself and your psyche or your mental health and push those dates out because I knew how hard that would be But it was really beautiful having that spirit reading. She told me that essentially Rome wouldn't be here if we didn't lose Winnie, which is so true because we were only planning on having three babies, but Now we've got Rome and who knows how many more babies we'll have yeah her's like I'm so tired And her first birthday was quite hard as well. I cried a lot that day. I was just like in the car. We went to the Blue Mountains, which was nice, but I was like crying a lot that day. Sometimes it just creeps up on you. And it was also my niece's first birthday. They were born on the same morning, which is just insane that the two of us both had baby girls on the same day.
00:08:55
Speaker
but hers is living and unfortunately ours wasn't. ah Just it's always insane to me when I think about that but yes really hard because that's always just going to be that reminder.
Challenges and Emotional Impact of Birth
00:09:05
Speaker
Can't ignore. The birth was really hard with Rome and I remember the midwife who actually birthed Winnie as well said usually you can hold on to a lot of trauma in your body when you're birthing and I felt that it was like quite hard. I remember with Evie and like Tady I was yes come on we can do this like let's birth this baby And then with romance, I just did not want to, like as we're getting closer, I was just like, I don't want to go through this. It's going to be too hard. It's too much. Like I can't deal with the pain and all those really sort of negative emotions, even though I got through it just very closely. Naturally, like just like really it was hard. I needed to.
00:09:46
Speaker
of the reminder and the good support around her. We had the photographer back again long. yeah Some photos of Rome and also the midwife came back in, even though she wasn't on, came into birth, Rome, which was nice. And he was born on the 24th of the 4th, 24, um, 2, 20 AM. m And it was like a two hour, 20 minute labor. So all those beautiful angel numbers.
00:10:09
Speaker
He was 3.4 kilos, which is my biggest baby. Like, Tady was only 2.8, and Evie was only 3 kilos. And he was like 3 centimetres bigger his head, so yeah you feel that. You absolutely feel that one coming down the birth canal, let me tell you. Yeah, it was definitely your hardest birth.
00:10:27
Speaker
it was it was but absolutely worth it i would do it again and again and again i guess that's just sort of the things but know that there is support out there i took a lot of herbs and things to support my nervous system i did a lot got a lot of massages and did a lot of things to really protect that space of just trying to get rid of those anxieties because naturally they're going to be there once you've lost a baby even without loss there's a lot of that anxiety around birthing so getting like
Importance of Support Systems
00:10:55
Speaker
duelers on your team, having support around you. If there's someone that you don't feel supported by, don't have them there if you can. If your mum or your mother-in-law or your partner, I know that's really hard one to say, but isn't quite as supportive as what you'd try and
00:11:09
Speaker
put some boundaries in place to, or invite other people that are super supportive, a midwife or a friend that's going to be able to fight that for you and let them know your birth plan or what your idea of the pregnancy should look like or the the birthing should look like, just to give yourself that extra support. With Evie, we did a birth masterclass, which helped a lot.
00:11:29
Speaker
Yes, we did. Calm birth? Yeah, calm birth. So good. Was it Kate? I think it was Kate. She was on the coast. Calm birth. She was amazing. She taught us so much. And like we got recordings that I use throughout my other like labors and preparing for labor as well. Just to walk you through it. And so good for the husbands or the partners or the partners as well to just be able to prepare for what's going to come and having no idea of each stage of the labor that progresses, just to know where we're at.
00:11:58
Speaker
and be supportive. Yes, yeah absolutely. Just being able to have someone there too and someone you feel comfortable that if they're like massaging you and you like it, cool. But if you don't like it, you can say stop. That sort of thing. I think you need that in there because it is very primal and raw and vulnerable, I'd say, but especially after loss. It's a lot.
00:12:21
Speaker
Yeah, we ended up did going back and going into the birthing suite. Oh, yes. That was so horrible. To just do and try and prepare yourself. Because they say if you don't do that and then you go in and might be a real big shock and then you might break down again. So they get you to come back into the birthing suite and then just play through your emotions and then try and make it easier for when you actually come to birth. And you're not just shocked.
00:12:46
Speaker
The midwife was trying to get to us to go in for our appointments and I was just like, I just don't want to. I just prefer to just having you come to the house, which they did. They came to the house for us. which was so beautiful. So we didn't have to go in, but then as it was getting closer, she's like, I think you should go in. yeah And I was like, I don't think so. Like I think I'll be okay. But I just wanted to be going in there again when I'm in labor. And that's all I've got to think about. I'm birthing on the baby, but it was right. It was good to go in. I only went in once. Like we went in together, had our appointment there and then we went just had a walk through the birthing suite. Actually, no, we went in twice.
00:13:18
Speaker
because at the very end they thought that Rome was breach. That's right. And they said, she's like, oh, I just want to feeling um I don't know if I'm feeling what I'm feeling. So she was like, let's go in because he was so low. She was like, I don't know. I can't. So she said, all we got to do is go in. They put the ultrasound machine just straight down on your pelvis. And if they see the round circle of his head, it's all good. So it took like two seconds. We'd already gone in. That was the second time. So that was, yeah. But the first time we went in, had our appointment and then they walked us through. It was horrible. Like I remember walking through, we had Evie and Tate there as well, but
00:13:50
Speaker
just having like being in there and like seeing we saw some of the same women like the midwives and the doctors or midwives i think it was our nurses that were in there when we were losing Winnie and like it was just i couldn't even like look at their faces i was like just looking down i was just like i just i don't wanna be here i don't hang out here i don't wanna be in here anymore i don't wanna remember those negative parts like i just yeah wanted to be more positive yeah yeah it was good going there and just going through and making sure that we're comfortable and that we're good exactly yes and we did we went to one other appointment as well in the start they made us go to that appointment when i was already pregnant we to see the ob that's right and i wanted to check in like what did they do they checked my semi for more blood tests gave us some extra scan referrals and
00:14:42
Speaker
Well, she didn't really do much. She was just like, are you okay? Any weird symptoms, that sort of thing, just to check. che i get right So yeah,
00:14:53
Speaker
that's pretty much it. And then we got through that and obviously had our beautiful Rome, beautiful little guy, which will do his birth story at some point as well. yeah Amazing. okay Thank you guys for listening. And remember that there is support out there. So if you do need.
00:15:12
Speaker
Any support I strongly, obviously recommend to be working closely with a naturopath. I did it myself throughout so that then I could be super supported. I recommend it 110%.
00:15:23
Speaker
So you can get that support if your partner or hubby or whatever is really struggling as well. Lots we can do for their mental health as well to get them through it. Cause it's obviously very hard on them as much as it is on us as women going through the pregnancy, it's hard on the hubby as well. So there's a lot we can do both in both realms and making you feel like stronger and empowered and not feeling like you're in that negative dark place every single day. Collaborative care is beautiful.
00:15:51
Speaker
So reach out if you need us. Thank you. Bye.
00:15:57
Speaker
And that's a wrap on today's dose of wellness. I'm Rhiannon, your fertility fairy godmother. Thank you for joining us. Stay connected with us on Instagram at mungbin underscore health.