Transcript
Speaker: Welcome back friends. You're listening to episode 108 of Outnumbered the Podcast. Today we're talking about getting dressed as a mom. We fully understand that getting dressed is one of the hardest things to do.
Speaker: Make time for and prioritize every single day. And yet it's also one of the most important things we can do for our own self -care and our overall wellbeing. Today, we're going to discuss overcoming obstacles to getting dressed every day, like not having enough time for yourself or not having the time and money to shop for the right clothes, not finding the right fit and dressing an ever -changing body. We hope you love this episode. Hello and welcome to Outnumber the Podcast. I'm Bonnie.
Speaker: And I'm Audrey. We're experienced moms to a combined total of 18 children. Our mission is to help overwhelmed parents find peace in parenting and humor in the chaos. Come join us as we attempt uninterrupted conversation about parenting with joy and intention.
Speaker: Welcome back, friends. Today, we are talking about a self -care episode, specifically all about getting dressed for mom. And I'm excited about this because I love clothes. Me too. I think this is something we all have in common, right? We all put on clothes.
Speaker: Yeah. And we've talked a lot about self -care and spending time on ourselves as moms. It's kind of one of our things we keep coming back to. But I really feel like nowhere is the importance of this self -care more evident than in getting dressed every day, right? It makes the biggest impact and can sometimes be one of the hardest things to do. So we're going to talk about that. Yeah. It's definitely our biggest opportunity to care for ourselves. Yes.
Speaker: All right. I have a funny laundry story to start us out with. Now this isn't really mom clothes, but it's clothes. Although there was a sweater of mine in there. Okay. Anyway, so we had some snow a little while back and it was about an inch, but my kids had to put on all their layers of snow pants and snow clothes and winter coats and gloves and all that scarves. They had to get it all out.
Speaker: Well, it was really kind of more mud than snow by the time they were done playing in it. And so their snow clothes came in really dirty. And so I haven't done it for a while. So I decided I'm just going to throw everything through the laundry. It's not something I usually do because they never go anywhere in their snow clothes. If there's snow, we stay home.
Speaker: It's COVID, we stay home. So I don't really wash their snow clothes on a regular basis, but it was time. They're all muddy and gross and they were going to get the other clothes in the coat closet dirty. So I took everything upstairs and loaded the washing machine and started it. Well, something had a rip or a tear in it because when I opened my washing machine,
Speaker: It looked like it had snowed in my washing machine. There was so much, I don't know, it wasn't down feathers. It was just stuffing that had come out of somebody's coat or clothes or snow pants or something. And so then as I took each piece out, I shook it off and threw it in the dryer. And by the time I was done with that, then it looked like it had snowed in my laundry room.
Speaker: So I cleaned up my laundry room, cleaned up my washing machine, and then of course through the dryer, then it looked like it had snowed in my dryer and my lint screen by the time it was all done. So yeah, fun times. Snowing inside in the laundry room. Snowing in the laundry room. That's super fun. Yeah, great. Thanks, kids.
Speaker: Okay, so before we get into this, I wanted to share something that I learned in a book called Better Than Happy. It's one of the best self -help books I've ever read, seriously. I heard me rave about it on Instagram, highly recommend it. But she talks about some core habits that you can develop that really, really affect habits across the board, right? So if you're trying to improve yourself in any area, if you try to adopt as many of these core habits, or I can't remember exactly what she calls them, foundational habits, something like that.
Speaker: then you are going to be set up for more success. And I have totally seen these to be true. And so Audrey is going to tell us what they are. Okay. Or what they are for me. I guess there are a couple of differences, but anyway, these are the ones we came up with. Okay. Making your bed. Dude, I have to make my bed every day. If I go
Speaker: out of my room in the morning and I come back a couple hours later and I hadn't made my bed because, you know, there was still kids sleeping there or something. I just feel like, oh my goodness, I was like walking around naked or something. My bed wasn't made. Feeding yourself good food, super important. We have a really good episode about post pregnancy nutrition, that kind of post pregnancy
Speaker: It's not post -pregnancy fitness, where we talk about health and fitness and super helpful for any mom, no matter what stage you're in. We cover on good food in that one. Moving your body and getting ready each day, getting dressed, getting ready.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah. So I think these four are really, really essential for moms. I will just share that in this Better Than Happy book, she also mentioned sleep as one of them, which we all know when we've been sleep deprived, how important it is to get enough sleep and decluttering or organizing your surroundings. So just so you know, but that was a really fascinating aspect of that book. And I love that concept that
Speaker: if we can get a few things right, it can really affect all aspects of our day instead of thinking of the 37 things we'd like to do each day, right? We just kind of focus on a couple of big ones. Yeah, I really like those other two also. And I would have to add a third to it is spending time with my Bible and reading and meditating and praying in the morning too. I can't start my day without that either. That's a core one for me.
Speaker: Yeah, some sort of spiritual development there. Yeah, I love that. So let's talk about the getting ready. Let's talk about the clothes aspect. I really feel like for moms, especially, there are a lot of obstacles to feeling good in our clothes, right? And so I'm going to explain what those are, and then we're going to break each one down and talk about why it's difficult and how we can overcome some of these. So first one, changing bodies, right? Like nobody gets through a pregnancy and nursing without their body changing drastically.
Speaker: And then along with the postpartum aspect, there's weight gain and weight loss, and then we get older and hormones and
Speaker: So lots of changes in bodies. The time and cost of shopping for clothes. A lot of us just don't have the time or don't want to spend the money on them. Determining what styles fit and flatter our bodies, especially as they're changing. And then just taking the time each day to spend on getting yourself ready. So those are our big obstacles. Yeah. And lucky for you guys, we're going to talk through each one of those in depth.
Speaker: Okay, so starting with number one, tips for dressing these changing bodies. Oh my goodness, I kind of see my closet. I use the analogy of my wardrobe.
Speaker: is like an escalator. So there are, you know, as my body goes up the escalator, then there's clothes that I can wear at each step. And then as my body comes down the escalator, there are clothes that my body can wear at each step on the way down because my body on the way up
Speaker: on the way up to pregnancy, giving birth, is different, a different shape, a different kind of shape than my body on the way down, the escalator after giving birth. My breasts have changed in size, my hips have changed in size, my stomach has changed in size, but all in different shapes and different sizes. So I totally have embraced an escalator wardrobe.
Speaker: I love that analogy. Yes, and I'm glad that you specified those different changes. We're actually breaking the changing bodies parts up into two different aspects, one about just changing bodies in general and one about nursing and pregnancy and those unique challenges. I feel the same way about my wardrobe after having so many children. For the first handful, I would get rid of my bigger sizes thinking, okay, I've lost the weight. Great.
Speaker: not realizing, well, dummy, if you have another child, which you were planning on, that's going to happen again, right? And so there's absolutely nothing wrong with having different sizes in your closet, depending on, you know, your time of life. And I probably have at least three different sizes of, you know, and I like clothes too. So I probably have like a full wardrobe in three different sizes. You don't have to be that excessive, but it really has helped me to know that when I have this baby and I'm 20, 30,
Speaker: for maybe 35 pounds overweight, I will still have cute clothes to wear. That's really important for me. It may not be for everyone, but it has been really important for me. So a few tips on how to dress these changing bodies specifically. I like to keep an eye out for styles that flatter my body at a variety of sizes and shapes and stock up on those. So what I'm talking about are, for example, flowy loose tops.
Speaker: skirts or pants that have elastic waistbands. And pants, there's so many great styles that work like this nowadays. Joggers, Ponti knits, those thicker knits, linen slacks for the summer. Dresses are also great as long as they're not really fitted. So I look for something that's loose, but maybe has a drawstring that can be adjusted as I lose and gain weight, or an elastic waistband. Generally, I say if I can gain or lose 10 pounds in it, then I'll buy it.
Speaker: If I lose or gain 10 pounds and it's going to look bad, then maybe it's not the right choice for me at this stage of life. Yeah, those are such great tips. I like to wear layers where definitely elastic waist or waist that are elastic in the back only, so they kind of look more straight to the front, but they have that give in the back.
Speaker: or fabrics that are stretch fabrics. Those are really nice. Even if I'm not pregnant, my body changes size through my cycle, through the month.
Speaker: there's times when the exact same clothing fits me through my cycle through the month. And, and I think that happens to every woman. Um, and so, you know, clothes with a little bit of stretch to them, not even knit, but even a stretch woven with, with a little give and take in it is just a little kinder to my body. And then I like to wear layers like a cardigan over a tank, um, or maybe a, you know, a short sleeve cardigan over a tank or a t -shirt because it just kinda like the cardigan would be looser.
Speaker: And the tank might be a little more fitted so I can feel flattering without, um, but still, you know, kind of covered. So yes, totally, totally nursing and pregnancy. They definitely present unique obstacles because your body, it tends to grow disproportionately unlike overall weight gain or loss. It's definitely, um,
Speaker: you know, in different areas. Like for me when I'm pregnant, you can't even tell I'm pregnant from the back, but turn me sideways and hello, basketball belly. And I've noticed that every woman
Speaker: her body does pregnancy different and that's really cool. Her body does pregnancy exactly how her body needs her to do pregnancy. And so that presents a challenge. Think of even maternity clothing makers. How are they supposed to dress a million different pregnant bodies when we're all different and unique? So there's even super big challenges for manufacturers of clothes if you're not making your own clothes, which Bonnie and I are really passionate about and we'll get into in a little bit.
Speaker: Yeah, which is another reason that you should never judge your body based on how it fits in clothes because the manufacturers are working with the same problem as we are and it's just something that we all are trying to figure out here. It's not like, oh, you don't fit this. There's something wrong with your body. No, that's not the right way to think. We're just all so different. And I've even noticed vastly different ways of how I've carried each child. I mean, some are a lot more similar than others, but depending on my age or my fitness level or -
Speaker: Yeah, that you really do carry babies differently. And so you just kind of never know what to expect. I've also noticed things like something that looks really cute at nine months pregnant will not look very cute at two months postpartum, like a fitted maxi dress, right? So cute to see your baby bump and then you have the baby and you're like, nope, not wearing that.
Speaker: really want to emphasize the postpartum belly. That's totally okay. But just to be aware that your body has different needs for what fits and flatters at these different phases of childbearing. I will say that for nursing, we probably all know about what it's like to get stuck without access out and about. I still remember probably one of my first kids getting to church and getting halfway through service and looking down and going, shoot,
Speaker: There's literally no way to get to my breasts right now. This baby's going to start to cry. I think it was a turtleneck sweater dress and I was like, oh crap. One time I went home to change and one time I just went in the mother's lounge and basically took my clothes off. So I don't think the other moms get it. They got it. Yeah. They get it. Yeah. So two pieces are great. Obviously any top and bottom will make that easy, especially looser tops.
Speaker: or those with buttons are really helpful. Although I will say beware, if you haven't had a baby yet and you're looking to buy things for postpartum, sometimes you just never know just exactly how big your bust is going to get. And I hate the gaping buttons or anything that's a little bit too tight across that. So beware of that. Dresses or jumpsuits, as long as they have front, some sort of front access, a zipper or buttons are super helpful. And then as far as pregnancy goes, I mean, if you've had a pregnancy, you know what works for you. But I have definitely changed my opinions over the years of what I love.
Speaker: In general I don't really love a lot of maternity clothes because I think that kind of fit weird on my body sometimes so I will look for Oversized sweatshirts or flowy like bohemian style tops in just regular women's wear maybe size up a size Stretchy leggings or other stretchy bottoms and then when I do purchase maternity wear I try to buy something that is or make it for myself something neutral and
Speaker: that I can wear day after day after day. Like the jeans I'm wearing right now, I think I've worn for like eight days in a row, which is, you know, no shame. They're very comfortable and I don't have any other than fit. So there you go.
Speaker: Yeah, I have a little bit different perspective on maternity clothes at first because if this is your first episode you've listened to and you didn't listen to like our introduction episode, Audrey is six feet tall. And so I can't go into a regular store and buy clothes that fit.
Speaker: Um, much less a maternity clothing store. And like there are, so think about a mall, you go into a mall and there's lots of stores for women's clothes and there's maybe, maybe one store for maternity clothes. Okay. So that's the, the spread in the selection. Well, if you think about tall clothing you have in those women's stores, maybe you have one or two stores that have a little tall section, but where are the pregnant maternity clothes? Nowhere. They don't exist.
Speaker: And let me tell you though, when you're, um, pregnant, the last thing you want is like a cute little crop top showing your belly because truth doesn't work. So I end up making.
Speaker: 100 % of my maternity wardrobe and like 90, 95 % of my regular wardrobe, um, just because of my size, but also because I love it, love sewing. So, um, as far as nursing pregnancy and nursing goes, I do have a couple of blog posts that we can link, um, where I share my own maternity sewing and, and postpartum nursing clothes sewing, but also.
Speaker: on patterns, a huge list of patterns that I have personally used and some pictures of me and how I modified them for maternity wear and all that. So I can link those in the show notes. I do want to do a little quick side note on breast pads for nursing moms. So we have a whole episode about breastfeeding, don't we, Bonnie?
Speaker: Okay, cool. I'll reference that one. But I tend to, just a quick overview, I tend to have an oversupply, so I am definitely a mom that has to have a breast pad, some protection in there so that I don't have a wet shirt. And I have found after, oh my goodness, probably, it took me way too long to figure out that
Speaker: I personally do better with disposable breast pads than the reusable kind that you can make and sew for yourself. It cuts down on the amount of breast infections that I have because of my oversupply thing going on. So just a side note there, it's kind of something you have to take into consideration when you are dressing yourself. If you are a mom that needs to wear breast pads, some of the styles can add a little
Speaker: kind of circle shape to the front of your clothes. So I kind of keep it a little bit looser on my tops when I'm breastfeeding. Oh, that's a really good tip. Yeah. Especially if they're fitted. I actually haven't worn them for many pregnancies. I think my body just kind of adjusted. And so that's something I had forgotten about. Yeah. Super useful.
Speaker: Okay, so moving on to number three, we're gonna talk about the taking the time and factoring in the cost of shopping for clothes or buying the fabric and patterns if you're a maker. If you love to shop like I do, I'm not as big a fan anymore. It used to be really fun for me now. It's kind of a chore, but this might not be much of an obstacle because it's fun for you, right? But as a busy mom in general, and if you've ever dealt with a limited budget of any kind,
Speaker: that can affect your ability to purchase good quality clothes that fit and that you love, right? I personally have learned to love shopping online because I've gotten good at it, but there are a handful of things that really can make or break your shopping experience, especially online.
Speaker: If you're overwhelmed by the idea of shopping online and you haven't been doing a lot of it, you can start with some local stores that carry a wide variety of sizes and styles, but are higher quality. I'm a huge fan of buying higher quality.
Speaker: close because you, number one, are going to have better luck of finding something that fits and that lasts. So it can be so easy to be like, oh my gosh, it's $13. Yay. But it's just probably not going to be around for a long time and chances are good. You will be less successful at finding
Speaker: the right fit because the cheaper clothes get manufactured in a cheaper way, etc. So we could go on and on about that forever, but there's just a few thoughts. As far as online goes, I personally very often stick with stores that offer free returns, especially if I'm purchasing something that I am not guaranteed to like. So for example, jeans. When I'm purchasing jeans, I'll purchase like four pairs and then intend to send three of them back because I want to try them on at home and
Speaker: figure out which size, which fit works best. And then I very often write down the brands and styles that I really love and that flatter me so I can look for those again next time. Those staples like jeans, shoes, bras, those sorts of things are really helpful to know what works so that you don't have to keep reinventing the wheel every time one wears out or you need a new pair.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm looking like a bubble head doll over here because I'm like nodding my head so vigorously to everything you're saying. And I did want to mention, I think we would be in erroneous not to mention at this point that Bonnie has an online boutique of very high quality
Speaker: super mom friendly clothes called Novalee. We're going to link it in the show notes. If you don't already shop there, go do it. Definitely for the mom. And now I get to talk a little bit about sewing your own clothes and getting started. And I think Bonnie and I could probably start a whole new podcast just about sewing your own clothes because I have 11 billion things I could probably say.
Speaker: Uh, but I'm going to try to condense it down. So don't be afraid to try. It's not that expensive. I have a whole series on my blog called buyer DIY, and I do, um, choose more expensive skirts to show how you can make them cheaper, just kind of for the wow factor. But, um, there's, there's no.
Speaker: Shame in trying something and it doesn't work out. Just try it and try something easy. Try something hard. I would recommend ease in with just one new skill at a time. And another thing that you can do is try upcycling. So what this means is taking a garment and using part of it and creating a new garment. So not really like mending or altering, but so, for example, if I took one that we used to do a lot,
Speaker: was to take like a mini skirt and then add fabric on the bottom and make it like a maxi skirt. So just from a sewing standpoint, that is a super easy thing to do because all the hard work at the top is done. The waistband and the zipper and the rivets and the belt loops and everything that's really hard is already done. And you're just basically sewing on a rectangle of fabric. It's super easy, but it's a way just to ease into sewing with with a big impact.
Speaker: Um, and so I went on a journey, oh, I dunno, maybe 10 years ago of learning how to sew with knits. And a lot of the stuff that I sewed and learned how to sew with knit stretchy fabric at first was really bad and I don't even have it anymore. But then I learned the art of buying good quality fabric online, how to tell what's good quality.
Speaker: and how to shop good quality and like everything Bonnie said about buying good quality clothes definitely applies to fabric because if you're going to put in the effort of making it beyond just the cost of buying it, then you want good quality so that it will last. But anyway, I went through the whole journey of learning how to sew with knit fabric and I actually started doing it for my kids because it was smaller and used less fabric and they didn't care if I made mistakes.
Speaker: I guess my biggest tip is just try. Yes. So many good tips. Everyone who ends up sewing for themselves starts somewhere and it's usually making something crappy for their kid and they're like, okay, that didn't work out. It's great to start with babies because they grow out of stuff in a couple months anyway, so if it falls apart, no big deal. But it is a really, really fun hobby to get into and super useful, especially for those wacky phases of life when you can't find anything that fits.
Speaker: All right, so we're going to move on to number four, which is how to find what fits in flatter. So we talked a little bit about this in the shopping and sewing area, but one big tip I have for you, you might feel like you're totally lost. Like maybe your body's changed a lot after a pregnancy or some weight gain or whatever, and you're just clueless. Like you don't even know what looks good anymore and your body kind of feels like it's alien.
Speaker: One tip I have is to look for people on the internet who are built like you. So sometimes it's going to just be like an influencer on Instagram, but if you're constantly thinking that everybody is skinnier and taller and whatever than you, then maybe you just need to look at real people, right?
Speaker: magazines or just internet searches or blogs or whatever, look for people even out on the street, friends of yours who are built similarly to you and look good in their clothes. Don't be afraid to ask people that you know, hey, where do you shop? Because I've noticed that we're built kind of the same and I cannot find anything that flutters me and you look amazing.
Speaker: Any friend would be, or even somebody you barely know would be flattered to hear something like that, right? Totally. Whenever I see another tall woman, I totally check her out. I'm like, hey, what's she wearing? Because this is a rare sighting here.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A couple other places to look are Pinterest, store websites. Like again, oftentimes they just show models, but especially if you're like a specialty size, like tall or plus or petite, look at those models and see what they're wearing and what looks really good. Are you noticing that they're never wearing maxi dresses because they're petite and they kind of drown them? Well, maybe that's a tip that you could take for yourself, right? Another tip is to, everyone should own a flexible measuring tape. So not like the kind that you measure your house with, but like
Speaker: you know, fabric or plastic that can be wrapped around your body and know your measurements. So the three big ones that everyone should know are their bust, their waist and their hips, which is right around the widest part of your bum. If you know those measurements, you will be able to shop online successfully nine times out of 10, because there are measurements on the product descriptions and you can say, oh my goodness, look at this shirt. It says the measurement is X and my bust is this. It looks like it will fit or no, it looks like it's going to be too tight or too big, et cetera.
Speaker: Yeah, another thing you can do is read the reviews on something you want to buy because if it runs small, everybody's going to be saying it runs small. Yes, exactly, exactly. Read the reviews, check the measurements, and be sure that you are choosing something that has been proven to be flattering on your body type in the best.
Speaker: Yeah, those are all great tips. I have to chuckle because I do the same thing as far as sewing. Sewing my own clothes is concerned. Actually, a lot of people get into sewing because they want the fit. They want it to fit. It's not only tall Amazon women like me. It's people whose body isn't
Speaker: the standard that clothes are sewed for, which when you start - Which is like 95 % of all women? Yeah, because both Bonnie and I have designed patterns, and we know that the standard, the ASTM, the standard measurements are an amalgamation and an average of all women's sizes, and there's probably actually like 0 .01 % of women that are actually those sizes.
Speaker: Um, if you have favorite clothes that you wear and you want to try sewing, try to look for patterns that resemble your favorite clothes. This is what my daughters do all the time. They've both discovered the beauty of mom, mom's custom sewing service. Lucky them. Yeah. And they're like, they'll bring me a Pinterest or catalog or something and they'll say, Hey, mom.
Speaker: What pattern could you use to make this for me? Because I know if I ordered this thing, it would never fit and it wouldn't fit right. And like one of my daughters is even taller than I am. And the other one has a gorgeous shape that just doesn't work for anything that's sold in stores. And they both discovered that mom can make them more flattering, better fitted clothes than they can buy.
Speaker: So find a pattern that resembles your favorite clothes. Again, just like when you're sewing, when you're buying clothes, find other tall sewists. If you're also tall, there's a hashtag called tall sewing and just search it. And if I want to, I actually know which people out there are the same size as me. And so when I want to make a pattern, I'll go look and see if any of these other women have made it because I want to know what it looks like on a tall person first.
Speaker: At the same time, there's pattern companies that I know are just drafted for women who are not my size. It just would take too much alteration. There's just one really cute, cute company out of England. She is the most tiny, petite, cute thing ever. She has adorable patterns, but I would have to add 10 or 12 inches to get them to fit my body. It's just not worth it.
Speaker: And then another thing you can do as far as fit and flattering is figure out if you like to wear knits or wovens. And do you like to wear all knits on top and bottom or do you like knits on the top or knits on the bottom or wovens on the top or wovens on the bottom or a mix? So that's kind of something that took me a while to discover about the fit of clothing and what was flattering to me.
Speaker: Oh, I love that you said that. And be aware that as your body changes, you might change your opinion on this. So I remember in my early 20s and early motherhood years, I wore almost exclusively t -shirts all the time because I loved them. They were stretchy and comfy and I wore them all the time. And then by the time I had twins and they came out of me, my stomach was never going to be the same and I was not comfortable in t -shirts anymore unless they were like super boxy and oversized.
Speaker: And so I started wearing wovens on top. So that's the non -stretchy fabrics, right? And I felt so much more comfortable knowing that not every little lump and bump was going to be on display because I was wearing something that was a little bit more forgiving. So just bear that in mind. Don't keep beating your head against the wall and saying, why don't I look good in this? Just find something that does flatter your amazing body the way it is. Yeah, I agree. For example, if you consistently have noticed that you dislike how you look in pencil skirts,
Speaker: or like I said, t -shirts or shorter dresses, whatever, you can skip them. It's totally okay. And like Audrey mentioned, if you're not sewing, but you do fit into one of those specialty sizes, like you're more on the tall side or petite side, plus, et cetera,
Speaker: go to the stores that carry those specialty sizes. Every time you try to fit into something that is made for a body type that is vastly different from yours, you're going to be frustrated and torture yourself and make yourself feel bad for no reason, right? So do yourself a favor and shop the stuff that actually fits you. Yeah. Yeah. And I have gotten pretty particular about if I wear knits on the bottom, it has to have a wide yoga waistband so that it kind of does a little tummy compression. Otherwise, I'm just not going to wear it.
Speaker: So you'll probably come up with pretty particular tastes yourself as you start exploring your own fit and fashion yourself. All right. Last, last section.
Speaker: Number five, taking time to get ready each day. Oh, this should be as important as feeding yourself. There is a stereotype out there of the stay -at -home mom that she's got a messy bun on her head and she's wearing sweatpants. And guys, we've kind of earned that because kind of that's sometimes what we do, right? Because they're comfy.
Speaker: Oh, no shame. But if that's how you care for yourself and keep doing that, but if that's not what care for yourself looks like, then let's take time to get ready each day. Right, right. We're not trying to tell you to be something you're not.
Speaker: And thanks to COVID, there are adorable sweatsuits out there now that are super trendy and cute. The point being, when we don't put effort into ourselves, we start to care less about ourselves, right? So here's an analogy. When your house is super messy and dirty, how do you feel about your house in general?
Speaker: You're like critical of it. You complain about everything. You get irritated with everything that's wrong with it, right? Yeah, I'm like, we gotta move. This is, this is... Yeah, you're like, this house is crap. I wish I had this and that and everything's garbage and I'm so depressed.
Speaker: But your body is really no different. Like when you're sitting around in stinky old clothes and you haven't showered and your hair is greasy, everything you think about your body is negative, right? And then I have this muffin top and then this and that, you know, you just feel critical and complainy, especially if you're currently struggling with accepting your body the way it is, the size and shape that you're dealing with right now, which is a vast majority of us, sadly, we need to
Speaker: We need every chance we can get to feel more positive about the way we are right now today. And getting dressed and looking presentable is key. It doesn't mean you have to wear a business suit if you're staying home with your kids, but how about putting on something a little bit more structured or where someone would see you and say, oh, you look cute instead of, oh, did you shower today? Right?
Speaker: getting dressed or getting ready each day for me. I'll just give you kind of a quick rundown. It means a mom friendly outfit. So I'm not going to try to wear something that I can't bend down in or like change a dirty diaper on the floor in, but it is on the cuter side. So I feel good about myself. I do a super simple makeup routine every day and a super simple hairdo that usually has only been washed like once a month. I talk about this on my blog. I like super low maintenance, but I do put some effort in because it makes all the difference in how I feel about myself.
Speaker: Yeah, I agree so much with this. This is as important to me as making my bed. So what getting ready for the day for me looks like real quick is getting dressed in clothes, nice clothes that I've made myself comfortable, but nice, and doing my hair, taking a shower, and just doing a little bit of self care, brushing my teeth.
Speaker: I've got to think about it. It's like I've got this whole morning routine. And part of that is just putting on something nice. I found, you know, back at the beginning of COVID and lockdown and everybody was staying home. I spent about, oh, I tried, you know, maybe two days to stay in my pajamas. And I had zero motivation and zero self -respect. And that was like spreading to my kids too. They were like, yeah, mom, you wanted to do school now? You're in your pajamas. Like, that's going to happen.
Speaker: So ask yourself, how does what you're wearing right now make you feel? Or if you're not feeling good, look at your clothes and see, is this affecting how I'm feeling right now? And even go deeper or explore a little wider. Like, do certain colors make you feel a certain way?
Speaker: They do. Let me just say that. Certain colors make you feel a certain way. So have you ever experimented like there's this one shade of orange that just makes me angry? If I'm wearing that, that shade, that certain shade of orange, I am pretty much going to have an anger fit.
Speaker: That is hilarious. Yes, I totally agree with the colors. A couple of years ago, I started following some fashion bloggers on Instagram that I really love their style. They just always look so cute, but I didn't really notice that they all dress fairly neutrally. I started adopting some of this style and started purchasing more neutrals.
Speaker: hoping to adopt some of these cute ideas that they had. And then one day I went into my closet and I was like, I am not excited to get dressed ever. Why? What happened? And then I realized, oh, because I am not a neutral person. And it totally worked for them, but it did not work for me and my
Speaker: emotions because it was not exciting for me to put on a gray top. I wanted color and stripes and polka dots and fun, wild stuff. And so when I realized that I was able to take some of their fashion tips, but apply them to my own unique
Speaker: sense of color that made me so happy to get dressed. Yeah. Yeah. And this has a totally logistical side to me too. I love white. I would love to wear white, but hello. My toddler's got blueberries on his fingers. Okay. And this is not going to work. So then I feel I wear something white and my toddler, you know, wipes his snotty nose on my shoulder. And then I feel like I'm not put together and I don't look good the other day because I can see this booger smear on my shoulder.
Speaker: Yes. Colors and patterns are helpful for the snotty. Yeah. Yeah. There's that thing out there that some people say, you know, the red hat, purple dress society, when I'm old, I show more purple. When I'm old, I'm going to wear white. Because you finally can. That's right.
Speaker: So just a final thought for me, I want to say that it's so easy to, on the flip side, it is so easy to get caught up in the internet's lies, the world's lies that tell you you have to be skinnier and prettier and richer to be valuable. You have to have this amazing wardrobe and you have to
Speaker: looks super fancy every day. In fact, we're going to link our episode on body image in here too, because I think this really applies. And we should not buy into any of that. But the complete opposite of that of never caring for yourself physically can also be very damaging.
Speaker: I think for me personally, getting dressed each day does a handful of things. Number one, it tells me that I'm valuable, right? And I feel good about myself. It tells my kids that they're worthy of my time and effort, right? If every time I put on jeans, they go, oh, where are you going, mom?
Speaker: It tells them that, eh, you're not really worth getting dressed for. I know that sounds kind of dramatic, but what if every day your job as a mom was as important as if you were going out to lunch with friends or to the store or whatever else. That being a mom has value to you and that you love your body and your role and your house enough to
Speaker: to dress for it, to dress cute and to make yourself realize that everything you do has value, right? And maybe that seems like a stretch to some people, but it really, really affects how I see my day -to -day job.
Speaker: Oh man, I don't think I can add anything to that. That's like perfect. Like yeah, it's so important. I feel, I think my kids perceive the same thing that I'm taking them and their homeschool education and my job as a mom seriously. And then that causes them in turn to be able to take it seriously and take themselves seriously and to bottle that behavior forward too. So yeah, I can't really add anything to that. That's so good.
Speaker: So we hope this episode was helpful for you guys. We hope that it gives you some inspiration and taking a little bit more time for yourself because you are so worth it and your amazing body is worth it. And we'll talk to you next week. Thanks so much for tuning in. Did you know you can help the podcast in several ways? First up, we're on Patreon and there are three different levels to support us there. Just head to patreon .com slash outnumbered.
Speaker: Next up, if you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a written review on iTunes. It helps other parents find the podcast and receive the help you're enjoying. And finally, you can follow us on Instagram at Outnumbered the Podcast. We're always having fun over there too. As usual, if you have any questions or ideas for future episodes, you can reach us at outnumberedthepodcastatgmail .com. Thanks for all your support. We'll talk to you next week.
Speaker: Okay, moving on to nursing and then pregnancy. They definitely possess, possess. They do possess your body. That's true. It's like you are possessed. Okay.
