Transcript
Speaker: So I just made the decision that. i mean, who's in there? mean, I guess the 20 fans will know you're in. guess. he can They can Google Dean Hundert.
Speaker: That's his name. Yeah. Dean Hundert. Hundert. Hundert. ah So what's going on? You went to a birthday party.
Speaker: that what we're going to talk about? No. i thought we were going talk about Lindsay Clancy. Oh, yeah. Okay. Did you bring things? I'm talking about birthday party. The closing statements are today, I think. the Not the closing, um what is it? that The speech that the lawyers give. Is that what it's called?
Speaker: Usually the closing statement. I only know from law and order the terminology. I've never seen law and order. Never? Never. I always heard it Like my parents watching it. Oh, how was like, like a podcast? The and what does it dunton Yeah, yeah. and then That's how I know it's time for bed.
Speaker: So what are your... Of Lindsay Clancy? Yeah. um What? I mean, I'm starting this off. Okay. I mean, I think it's... ah Everyone's always... You know, they're freaking out because the idealized woman of the United States, a upper middle class white woman,
Speaker: Has harmed her children. Exactly one month older than me. so Oh. Do you feel a bond? I mean, she's a Leo. That's what it is. So this was destined to happen. i mean you know, it's ah to I haven't been following it, like, you know, with a fine-toothed comb. It's just been coming up on my TikTok. No, I haven't been following the court, like, what's happening court. mean, for sure. I know everything that happened until she did it.
Speaker: I know there's a big thing on TikTok of people being like, it was her husband. It couldn't have been her. it was definitely her husband. I'm like, no. No. She did it like I mean, I can't imagine that it wasn't a mental health break because it's just so insane to me. but no she was extraordinarily mentally mentally ill. Mentally She was saying she was having hallucinations. And unmedicated.
Speaker: She was medicated on her. She wasn't taking She was like on every different combination. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They kept trying different cocktails of medicines. But really, so – but yeah.
Speaker: So do you think the husband should be held accountable at all for leaving her alone with them? Like – No. Yeah. No. What's your take? I mean, yeah, she should have just been in a straitjacket in a mental institution. Yeah. For a long time.
Speaker: You're pretty straitjacket? Padded room. Windows? Sure. Thick glass? i don't Yeah. I mean, whatever prevents her from hurting herself or other people. Yeah, she should have but been 5150. That's what you're saying. yeah Yeah, for a long time.
Speaker: Yeah, why wasn't she, I wonder? Well, she kept checking into mental institutions. Yeah, they can only hold you for few days. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure she couldn't pay to be in like a fancy celebrity.
Speaker: is that what it was? No, not that one. But I'm just like, It's just expensive. You think it's money that held their back? Because you can just go into debt. Like, I mean, like, and never pay your medical bills. Just not pay for it.
Speaker: I mean, i'm just saying, you could do that. Like, if it's really, if you feel like you're at risk, I don't know. But it should, that's why involuntary, um but they people need to be involuntarily institutionalized. Like, pre-Reagan, that's what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Because that would prevent. I mean, i know people who've had postpartum mental health breaks. And psychosis or hard to say, you know, there's big difference between postpartum depression and what she did, obviously. Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, it's not postpartum depression, what I'm talking about. Like, it's it's sometimes there's like latent mental illness that just come, like flourishes in postpartum under certain circumstances, you know, and then you find out like, oh, now I'm bipolar or now I'm whatever's going on, you know, and then you need like appropriate attention for that.
Speaker: But it doesn't seem like the whole medical industrial complex, let's call it, seems very reticent to be extremely hands on with mothers postpartum for whatever reason. Like they're always, in my view, sending them home and not giving enough support.
Speaker: And it's always just like, how is the baby doing? Yeah. yeah I mean, for us, there was just like a checklist form you had to pull out that you could lie on like very easily.
Speaker: And then that was it. That's the thing. Like she could say to the therapist, I'm not suicidal. I'm not having, I don't have a plan. You can say anything. can say anything. And then they have to be like, No, and there was no therapist. I didn't have a therapist. Well, you weren't having hallucinations. Not to anyone's knowledge. I mean, like, yeah, no, I wasn't. But I mean. That's the, yeah, that's the difference between someone who should be put it straight. But there's nobody checking. Like, it's like, there's no therapist checking. Like, there should just be someone checking. I mean, society general failed.
Speaker: Mothers. Well, I don't think it says anything about mothers. What's your process? Have you had mental health support postpartum at all? What do you, I mean, I have, what does what does that mean? I mean, I feel like I get that from friends and family. Yeah. So there hasn't been like a psychiatrist or psychologist like evaluating you. No, I haven't. i haven't reached out for that.
Speaker: Yeah. There's no like involuntary process. like But most people are okay. Yeah. So I think, yeah, I think, I mean, and she was reaching out.
Speaker: She was. She was doing a lot to, I think it's so crazy that she had a virtual appointment one day before she did it. Like that's the most 2023 thing about this is that she had a virtual appointment. But how can you predict? to Like, it's like, let's say a mother is saying, i mean, i don' she was saying crazy stuff though. Like she should have had more support. What what do you think went on? Like they just were like,
Speaker: We need to give her a pill and then it'll be better? like I think in a way, because everyone is mentally ill now, nobody is. And it's not taken seriously. it's Because everybody has OCD. Everybody has anxiety. Everybody is Therapy speak has been normalized. Therapy speak has been so normalized. As just personality. That now it's just not. Now when people are truly, truly mentally ill like she is, then it's not taken seriously.
Speaker: Even by professionals. Right. Yeah. But they took it seriously enough to prescribe serious drugs. And even that. And who knows how much of that was behind it. I mean, I have noticed from people I know taking the – when they went off – the cocktail of medications they were prescribed, they got better. Yes. When they stopped taking the crazy medicine. No, and give, like, let's say Klonopin. Like, giving Klonopin for anxiety is such a huge leap in my view. No, it's crazy. That's like giving – when they give birth control for –
Speaker: acne. And this is not to say like that it doesn't help some people, but I think a ah lot of other people are just like, I feel anxious. I must trank myself. Like it's an extreme measure that like, perhaps there's some, some steps in between. On the other hand, I hate cognitive behavioral therapy, which is definitely what they would have tried. how that it would be effect. Because cognitive behavioral therapy is just like, I'm going to reprogram my brain to have different thoughts. Like, I actually hate that.
Speaker: Like, some people are conscious. Like, yeah, well, that's what yeah it helps. It would be nice to just take something that would fix it without having no but cognitive. It's like for someone neurotic, cognitive behavioral therapy is not the right treatment because it's like I am already thinking about all my thoughts. Like it's not helpful to think more about them. Yeah. Sometimes the solution seems to be just stop thinking about yourself so much.
Speaker: Oh, like get into helping other people? Yeah. just like be it thats but But our society is just set up so that we're just always thinking about ourselves all the time. Yeah, maybe. TikTok makes it much worse. mean, 12-step programs definitely work that way. It's about... It's about helping other people. Oh, about... That's how they... That's how you get better. Yeah.
Speaker: And here you are today. Well, let's not talk about that. But yeah. um But it is to refocus like from the solipsism, as you say.
Speaker: um And it does help. Well, because self-esteem is built by doing esteemable acts. So it's like you do things you can be proud of, then you feel good about yourself.
Speaker: So helping other people will make you feel better about yourself. It's not going to fix OCD. I mean, like real OCD? I don't know. but What's real OCD? Yeah. Well, I'm definitely not a mental health professional, but it's like it's um there's a couple different symptoms. But one of the ones, let's say that's hard to fix is intrusive thoughts. Like and it's kind of similar to schizophrenia in that way, where it's like there's just crazy stuff that lives in your head and you have to find a way to function anyway.
Speaker: Because your brain's not going to- got to find a way to just not murder people. It's just not going to stop doing that. Like, it's like you're- Like, for me, it's like, I'm not going to stop picturing, like, gory things happening to the people I love all the time. But I have to just get in the car anyway, you know? Everyone has to move forward. Yeah. I can't- i cant You can't kill anyone. I can't kill- Well, but killing someone, it's like, that's not ocd Yeah. like- But I'm saying for anyone who's mentally ill- You're still responsible. Well, if you're in psychosis. So psychosis is like you're not living in reality anymore.
Speaker: It's like you're living in an alternate reality. So it's like you don't know that you're killing someone when you kill them in psychosis necessarily. Like it's like you're fully like.
Speaker: Disassociated. You're in an alternate reality where hurting them saves them or whatever is going on in your head. Like it's like it's not. But unfortunately.
Speaker: You still are responsible. Yeah. I mean, like. Just because that's how it works. Well, psychosis, they need to be. It's like you need to be. Yes. You need like a full facility situation for psychosis to protect you from yourself and you like other people from you. You're a danger you're a danger at that point. And she was failed in that.
Speaker: She did make it clear that she was psychotic. Yeah. And she yeah she said she had hallucinations. Yes. And that's what separates her from just, you know, oh, postpartum depression where you need one little anti-anxiety medication. Or whatever you need. Yeah. No, psychosis is a whole other thing. It's like it's like you're lucid dreaming, but you're not sleeping. like yeah It's like being on meth and being up for four days. like it's like it's not You're not like living in the story of what's really happening at all.
Speaker: So and to and no one. No. Yeah. I mean, suburban isolation clearly is a big factor here, too. It's not good. Psychosis can happen anywhere. But um yeah, it's not good for People around. Yeah. To there weren't enough people around. Well, what would be I mean, if we saw someone who is being psychotic, like acting like they're in psychosis with their kid on the playground, what would we do? Call the police?
Speaker: I mean, if you can be in, yeah, I mean, that might be, I think that's the only option that we have. What else do you do? Because there's no, but that there's no emergency mental health. Right. Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, you can 5150 someone. Right. For like, for like could feel three to five days. i got there And maybe their kids could. Well, and they'll have an independent evaluation. Like, but, but in that, but you're also threatening them having their kid. Like, it's like they could lose custody after that.
Speaker: Like they could, you know, like there's a lot of extreme ramifications probably. I'd imagine, I don't know. Again, a lot of this is from law and order. So let's just, let's just know that I'm no expert at all any of this.
Speaker: But yeah, what would, what would the person be doing where it would be so bad? that But that's where I'm like the dad, if if he was there, should have been like, okay, we need to go stay with,
Speaker: parents or other people like we need to go still make him other people responsible no he's not responsible but he but what was he doing it was negligence like it's where where was where was his head where was he had his work from home tech job well he may have been in deep denial which i've seen many times with the coping when the And it's often the spouse. like And it doesn't just happen with mental health stuff. It's like if the spouse, let's say your spouse gets like a really bad prognosis from a doctor. you know I've seen it happen many times where the spouse is just...
Speaker: in deep denial and not pushing for treatment and not trying to fix it because it just shatters their reality. it's It's kind of like how they say the Native Americans, i don't know if this is true, but when like the ships came to North America, they couldn't even see the boats because they'd just never seen anything like that before and it just like shattered their reality.
Speaker: that there were That there was this like foreign weird boat coming ashore from the ocean. like um So I think it's just when something is so outside of your dimension of functioning, it's hard to bring it in to your perception. So I totally see that yeah happening for him. Yeah. Which is to me like mental illness by proxy a little bit.
Speaker: because it's like there was clarity, you know, like a little bit that she was not, should not have been the primary caregiver at that point. Right.
Speaker: I like the back and forth on the Wikipedia, all the different editors where someone is like, And she also had a nanny, okay? Like, it's like she had a nanny. And her parents came to help out like, this much time. Oh, so couldn't have been mentally ill if she had any help at all. She help. We can't.
Speaker: But it's like people are mentally ill under any – it really yeah doesn't matter how good your childhood was. Like, if that gene gets turned on, like, you're great, you know.
Speaker: You have a you have an illness. Yeah, I didn't go into her childhood. and i don't know what the story is. I don't know, but it's... Yeah, I mean, and and she might not know. Like, it's like things happen. She might have repressed memories of Lord knows what though. Like, it's like not every adult even is totally consciously aware of their childhood trauma.
Speaker: You just don't always know unless you've let it into your reality, which is painful. i wonder.
Speaker: I don't know, but psychosis scares the crap out of me. Well, you're not psychotic. No, i've never I've never truly gone down the path to mania. Yeah. Never truly. You've reassured. We have this documented here. I've had perhaps moments of like intense, maybe some like Irresponsible behavior, but like nothing. i definitely in my early 20s had a moment that where I was like, I could not care about anybody and be mentally ill for the rest of my life. And I was like, I'm not going to do that.
Speaker: Really? But most people don't have that choice if they become mentally ill. But I definitely felt the gene being like, are we going to open this door? Because I have a lot of those genes. Yeah.
Speaker: Psychotic? Lots of different types. A whole cocktail of mental health. Paige is never going to do that. No, it's mostly just schizophrenia and bipolar. Okay. Oh, yeah. She was diagnosed.
Speaker: Yeah, so. Bipolar. But, you know, all my great uncles who had those illnesses were also the kind of geniuses. But I guess that's like what people say. trade-off. Yeah, it's a trade-off.
Speaker: Men. That's a male bipolar for you. They were men. Yeah. yeah You get a genius out of that. Yeah. they They all like skipped a million grades and like went to fancy schools. i don't know. Yeah.
Speaker: But but it's hard to live with. I mean, schizophrenia, I don't wish it on anyone. It's hard to live with.
Speaker: So what do you think? what was your. mean, I think I've said, yeah, I think it doesn't say anything. necessarily about how women are treated postpartum. I think she was a rare.
Speaker: She is a rare case. Yes. This is not the norm. No, it's not. Psychosis is not the norm. And I do think being, yeah, normalizing therapy speak, as you said,
Speaker: Oh, it becoming just... Makes people not take it as seriously they should. Part of it, yeah, like personality flaw if you're or something. Yeah, like acute, quirky. Yeah. Now feel like mental illness is as cute. By the way, it's not about color coding your closet OCD. There's like real symptoms, but anyways, just... It's not about needing things to be clean. But yeah...
Speaker: um Yeah, I mean, on the other hand, if a lot of women were having these crazy thoughts, I don't think we'd definitely know about it. Because i I don't think most people would disclose.
Speaker: I mean, then they're keeping it together, I guess. Yeah, they're keeping it together. But like they but it wouldn't be the end of the world to have some support. um And I do think,
Speaker: you know, taking care of Children is hard and requires a lot of sacrifice. Yeah. And so it can come as quite a shock to, I think, because we're so not used to having to care about anyone but ourselves. But I think that is if that probably something really gets twisted in the brain when you're just forced to suddenly do that after years and years, especially in people delaying having kids longer and longer. And you just get so much more set in your ways and so much more on yourself. See, but I feel like I was so much more selfish in my 20s. I feel like I picked the right time. will you Well, or even that could have been, who knows? Because that could have solved the selfishness of your 20s. No, I don't know. I think it would have been that shock and been way more stress and not been like wanted to do all this other stuff. and I don't know. It feels good now. You know, I also needed to get sober as we discussed. Yeah. It's like, I'm so glad I was not do not drinking at all. You know, like I don't need that around this. like But I think having time. And I had romantic issues I needed to work out to have the right kind of foundational relationship. Like there's so much I worked out before having a kid that I matured very, very slowly and way more slowly than my peers. Like I had the emotional maturity of like a 17 year old when I was 26. But I think i do think having a lot of time in your twenty s being alone, being like, this is my time to find myself, can make you get like go a little crazy. And you're like living alone or you're living with roommates who don't really care about you.
Speaker: and you have a lot of time to yourself to focus on yourself. And that can – I mean, I've seen it in specific people. Okay. It creates – Like that is where the mental illness begins. Just too much time by yourself thinking about yourself. Okay. ah And just telling yourself, no, this is normal. This is good. Like, I'm just like a character on Friends. I'm dating and finding myself and sleeping around. And then maybe though for your mental health. watch Yeah. I mean, there was part of me and obviously that's not the way it worked out for me, but like, cause I, I needed to figure out romantically how to have a healthy relationship. And I'm glad I didn't do that while having kids.
Speaker: Cause I would have have picked totally the wrong people to do it with. um But there was a feeling where I felt a bit abandoned because generationally, you know, if you go way back in my Jewish roots, it was not totally arranged marriage, but your parents were very involved in the dating process, you know, and my parents had...
Speaker: zero involvement labor, were very laissez faire, like which you loved one whatever. I think I would have wanted more, but I, you know, it's that third child thing of just like, so figure out. they do that with your older siblings?
Speaker: Well, my brother obviously, no, they did not. I mean, but they were so pragmatic and found each other and married young and, you know, so they had no concept of the current landscape that I was going into.
Speaker: Right. But. And they also were for their generation. It was more, I think, like, let your kids make their own choices. Yes. Because feel my parents were like that, too. Let them be. Let them. Yes. Give them space. And in a way, it could be too much, too much independence.
Speaker: Yeah, I think on some level I wanted them to care maybe a little bit more. Yeah. about But I don't know how I would have taken it at that point because they didn't care. Like, it's like they would have had to do that throughout. Like, there would have had to be a lot more, like, emotional proximity, let's say, in some ways. And space for that, you know. And and this is why...
Speaker: Because it's like, yeah, I think my mom working full time and i had a lot to do with that. Both of them working, my dad more than full time and my mom full time. Like there wasn't a lot of emotional space, you know? Yeah.
Speaker: And my the thing I said before, i think I've said it on this podcast before about adolescence like ending when you're 25. Yes. Like being available. and mine ended, you know, at 33. Yeah.
Speaker: And they they needed to be around until you were 33. They were, yeah. And like, and I remember, you know, i I sometimes I get a little bit envious when I see like there's these videos on TikTok. haven't seen a lot of them, but I know they exist of like college dorm rooms and parents coming in and like helping them decorate their dorm rooms. Like nothing like that happened for me. That's what we're going to do. nothing.
Speaker: My mom was pretty hands-on in a lot of ways. And she was definitely in my dorm room. helping me unpack. no Not decorating. Well, people are also going crazy with the decorating.
Speaker: No, but like there was no care. It was just like, go do it, you know, because they had to be adults so young. And then there was more emotional proximity from them to me than there was from them to their parents, you know? Right. Yeah. So it's like progress. it It was progress.
Speaker: But I think on some level, and also, yeah, the third child, I think at that point they'd kind of not giving up but what year were your parents born in what 48 and 47 i guess closer to my grandparents yes ages yeah they're boomers yeah yeah so and it then in that sense it like skipped a generation like i was the only millennial in the house you know and my brother and sister were um gen x right you're like so it's like kind of different uh
Speaker: They're more, do are they more nihilistic than than you? Well. That's like the Gen X thing, right? No. What are No. But they're, they're just, you can just feel They're not as earnest.
Speaker: I don't know how to. Are you more earnest than them? Hmm. You know, I don't know how to qualify it. It's more cultural, perhaps. just But it's like they're they were less digital, less early in their lives. You know that for sure.
Speaker: um Right, they would have grown up with like no... They were just starting, but I had like a pager in high school. Like that's how, or like high school started in seventh grade. So like pagers, you know, like... Okay.
Speaker: But, ah and I'd say like a little bit more traditional in some ways. Like the 90s were more like central for them, whereas I was more in the aughts, like, yeah you know, where there was kind of a bit of more disillusion of those like... Post 9-11, yeah. Yeah, yeah, chaos a little bit. Yeah.
Speaker: Right. They had more of the idyllic 90s child. And maybe had a bit more of a better economy to exit into. you know Right. You graduated when I graduated. Yeah. first response That's not great great. Not that with my theater degree, I had a bajillion options, but, but you know. um But yeah, that felt different. i don't know.
Speaker: But, yeah, no, I feel like I – but, again, it's like i only have one kid. So it's like, of course, I'm going to want to help him with this call. like It's like I'm only doing everything once, you know. Yeah. So i want to do it. You're going to do it right.
Speaker: Yeah, or be there, you know. How is it going? Preschool. At his childcare center. I mean, it's very hard for me. He's doing great. How do you even – and what do you even know – Of his day. like They tell me when i picked him up when I pick him up, like if he napped, which is obviously crucial information, and how he did, like what his vibes were all day.
Speaker: You know, if he got sad at all or if he was fine. no And I keep every day, I'm like, fight? Did he fight? You know? But no, I think it's with his parents, he's testing boundaries. And there he has this like more communist vibe. I don't know. I wonder what they tell, like what's the line of, yeah, what qualifies for an incident?
Speaker: I think violence. Because he bit someone, they would tell you. Yeah, I think that's the line. I mean, I ask if he fights or hits or pushes or I don't know, maybe they're not telling me. i dont Well, there is a room parent. And I mean, I'm trying to get close. Oh, yeah, you got to get in with that. But I've overshared with her.
Speaker: I'm like, is this good or bad? We'll find out. Just know that they do placate. parents so obviously the parents are giving them a lot never get sad at drop off I mean I know that I mean I was like that too yeah that's pretty standard no everyone else is crying yeah like everyone else um but uh you know no I don't think your kid would cry No, I don't think so. I think if this is the wrong choice, I'll find out years from now. Like, I don't think I'll know right away at all. He's like me, you know, but no, I've been very sad about it. It's been very hard, but I also feel like he is doing good.
Speaker: Like he seems stimulated in a good way and in a way that I haven't been able to provide for him. And no screen time now because I'm not burnt out at all. like Thank God. This is how we finally got him off the screen. Yeah, because it's like, you know, it's the difference between eight hours a day with him versus 12 or 13, you know, like it's like.
Speaker: Yeah. So it's zero, you know, because when he's here, i don't want, you know, like I want to be with him. Yeah. yeah It's long because he naps. So he's up till like nine or ten. Like he's up late.
Speaker: Yeah. And he wakes up early. so it's like we like from six to nine in the morning and then from three to nine and eight. Like, you know, so it's like still fair amount time. ah But no, I'm really sad about it, but I'm kind of examining that. are you doing? It's a long six hours. I don't know. It's only been two days. um But yeah, I'm trying to examine the sadness because my fear of what was going on before is that we had a little bit of like I'm like.
Speaker: I feel like I miss hugging him all day, like just like hugging him a lot. And I'm scared that those hugs were like, yeah, he's getting hugs. Yeah. Yeah. He like smells like the teacher when he comes home and I'm like, who is with yeah perfume ah but I'm like, it's good. You know, like it's nice. Um,
Speaker: And no but I'm wondering, like, was was that more for me or for him? you know No, it's for him. because like i Because I think a lot of that emotion was propping me up emotionally, too. And it's like I need to. normal. You should be hugged all the time.
Speaker: I know, but it's like, I don't want my kid, because this is obviously something I just really don't want is for him to feel like he needs to take care of me emotionally. Like, I want that to be my spouse and I want him to be the kid. You know what I mean? So it's like, I'm just watching for that because I know it's my instinct.
Speaker: Because he's just, it's just the best hugs in the world, you know, like, of course. I don't think you need to overthink the hugs. It's not just the hugs, it's the feeling. It's like the feeling. just keep hugging, know?
Speaker: We're definitely going to keep hugging. I just like, but I'm like examining the sadness. Like, I'm like, it does the sadness mean I'm making the wrong choice? Or does it mean that like I need to find something like in my life to be more well-rounded, you know?
Speaker: where I'm not relying on him to prop up that sadness or whatever that is. Or I'm just need to bleed, which like, ah I mean, like, obviously, my husband was like, let's revisit this in a week. You know, it's like, I'm just like crying. And I mean, it's been very hard, you know, not to see him all day. I'm sure you're feeling the same way about your oldest and like not to see every little thing that's going on with him all day. Like, yeah, it's weird. I mean, I know what he's doing. oh I know which videos he's watching. It's good because he can tell me exactly which videos, you know? And then he can see them. And then I can watch them and be like, oh my God.
Speaker: Disgusting. What's the latest? Actually, it lines up with what we were just talking about, like normalizing therapy speak. He was watching this atrocious meditation video. Okay.
Speaker: And then I went to the channel in the description and who did the video. And it's literally just a voiceover actress who lives in LA who's making, know, obviously knows where the money is. Not a trained professional. And making these YouTube videos for just teachers to mindlessly go do, do, do, do. Kids, get them to shut up for two seconds video. But what was it teaching, like supposedly teaching them? Like what was the language?
Speaker: Just so mindful mindfulness. There was some really stupid line. i was so, ah disgusting.
Speaker: Maybe your butterfly has the same colors as your favorite superhero. it about like a butterfly hug? Butterfly superhero? I know. Wait. No, it's just like mishmash. It's just like putting in- Keywords. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes. Butterfly and superhero. so cynical and such garbage and it's a six plus minute long video that he was subjected to.
Speaker: Which, like, the teacher could easily just turn down the lights, be, like, close their eyes and make own thing. Yeah, which she done. And I'm totally fine with that. Yeah. I think that's great for them. Yeah. But put on this trash, I don't want them seeing this stuff. And she's heard you complaining about it. Yeah, I voiced my complaints the first week.
Speaker: I had a long phone call with the principal yesterday. Oh, how did that go? I mean, she, based on what I could discern, It seems – and it was really her talking, by the way. She did send 100% AI-generated email prior prior to this phone call. um And she didn't say, hello, I am the principal of – or wait, do your robot voice. oh you so Okay. Wait, did I tell you about that, the robot I talked to The urgent – when I was doing my ah TB test to volunteer in the school, um you have to go –
Speaker: You have to basically have a doctor say that you don't need a TV test. So I had to call an urgent care and ask them a question before I went in. And kept saying, like, can I talk to a real person? And the robot would go, am a real person. My name is Maya and I'm here to help you. And I kept hanging up and calling back until finally it said, am a chat bot designed to assist you. And I was like, okay, Maya, finally we got somewhere. But that is like a real thing, like a chat bot who lies to you and says I'm a real person, which is crazy. So I was like, what is the principle you should try like questioning the chat bot's ego?
Speaker: and i mean, I really know that we kept like in both of my kids were like talking to it to being like, are you a robot? I think it finally came clean when one of the kids was yelling that they can't lie to children robot. Yeah, there's a line.
Speaker: And Mike said that that couldn't have been that would be a China based robot. Like there aren't, chat GPT doesn't do that. No, yeah, yeah. But they would be outsourcing to like Chinese robots. um Anyway, so the principal didn't use one of those robots to communicate with So that's where the line is. Well, probably LAUSD is barred from using Chinese gadgets. I would imagine.
Speaker: But so she, what I could discern from what she said, it does seem like she doesn't think these YouTube videos should be played. That's what it it seems like she does think that she wouldn't use definitive language. idea Yeah. Based on what I could, based on what she was saying, because she kept defending the use of the smart board, like a projector, which I'm like, I'm yes, I'm fine with that. I understand using it like a projector, uh, writing, you know, writing things on it, whatever.
Speaker: ah but it's just the YouTube videos. And then she said, oh, maybe we could explore other, like when I was going into detail about this meditation video. Yeah. And she did seem to agree that there should be an alternative. Oh, and I kept emphasizing, which I think she found flattering. And she, so that's why she said to go to the teacher is that I would like him to connect with the teacher.
Speaker: Because the teacher is this, you know, a teacher is a celebrity to a kindergartner. Yeah. A very, very special person. Yes. And she does not appreciate that role that she plays in the kids' lives, it seems. Like, she is outsourcing herself to these videos Should we talk about this comment that was left? Oh, yeah. Oh, Paige has a very exciting, very explosive sub stack that you should check out. I wrote a sub stack article called Don't Bring Toys to the Playground. I read the whole thing. no It's the only, possibly the only sub stack article you've ever liked. I liked it. I tried to restack it, but I had to go to the app and that was just a bridge. But you don't, she never likes my articles, but this one, because it mentioned her by name,
Speaker: Hit that heart. i haven't read the other ones. yeah that one i clicked This one I clicked on. I mean, I tried to click on the previous, but sometimes you write little short things. Am I wrong? Sometimes they look really short comments. like there are notes they On Substack, there are notes. Yeah, notes. I see the notes. so that Yeah, those are like posts. And then like the actual. I didn't like your previous one. The actual posts would be emailed to you. So yeah, these, what was the one before this? YouTube. youtube Yeah. I didn't read that one. but that's a good one. I should read that one That one's my, my most popular by far.
Speaker: um So I wrote about not bringing toys to the playground. Pretty much nothing we haven't said this podcast before. Same diatribe. So you've heard it. And then i I got one comment from a woman and she was like, Oh, my kids only one. So I'm like, yeah. Okay.
Speaker: Then the other comment has some very interesting sentences that I i find to be interesting comparisons to what I'm saying. Okay, so she, and she has older kids, so i was like, all right, I'm tuned in.
Speaker: She said, two-year-olds are challenging, and I totally get the impulse to want other people to not create seat situations that add to the difficulties. When mine were little, I remember feeling brief frustration that no one else made their kids wear sun hats. But in retrospect, that was a great first introduction to the fact that everyone gets to make their own choices. Some kids won't keep hats on their heads. And our family isn't necessarily going to copy everything they see other kids do.
Speaker: So the difference is... I'm already out after the sun hats coming. I know, know. can't it seriously. This is a judgmental... That's an insane thing to be frustrated about, in my view. Okay, I'm going keep going. Yes. Hold on. ah But also, my kid has never kept anything on his head. You want to try to put a sun head on him? Good luck. Leaving aside that bikes and scooters are a great great way to get to a park, I'm not sure, which you can leave them outside, whatever. Yes.
Speaker: I'm not sure where exactly kids are supposed to ride them without an adult being on the constant lookout for cars, if not a park. ah So for that part, I will say... You just got to make that a separate thing, which we did for teaching my kid, my older kid, how to ride a bike. We took him to a different park at a different time that had a good setup for riding a bike where you weren't going to clobber. You need like a little air. My dad used to take me and I never learned, obviously, but.
Speaker: You go to like an empty parking lot. like or Yeah. Or or you can still be at a park and not necessarily in the playground. the playground area. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that's not a good place to ride a bike or a scooter anyway because you're just running into people all the time. Right. um My kids are 9 and 11 and definitely sometimes bring toys to That's a thing. We definitely try to make sure we aren't tormenting toddlers while we craft variations on Lego cylinders and the contents therein.
Speaker: To maximize rolling distance. I'm not following this. Wait, we- I'll say it again. Okay. We definitely try to make sure we aren't tormenting toddlers while we craft variations on Lego cylinders and the contents therein to maximize rolling distance. So they're building- Lego cars or something? Lego contraptions that involve wheels. But why are we doing that at the playground? Can we do that all? Because she wants to maximize rolling distance. And yes, I've seen the frustration of people scattering their own toys about and then demanding no toddlers touch them. But I mean, I also had to teach my toddlers that birthday parties at the park were private events, etc.
Speaker: Overall, it's not been my experience that toys cheapen play or necessarily cause more strife than palm trees that look close but can't actually be walked to. But a lot definitely depends on specifics. Let me read this part again.
Speaker: Overall, it's been my it's not been my experience that choice, sheep, and play are necessarily cause more strife than palm trees that look close.
Speaker: Did she say that what what gender her kids are? Um... More strife than palm trees that look close. You really don't see a difference between palm trees being far away. And a tantalizing toy sitting in the middle of the playground. Wait, we wait, wait.
Speaker: Well, so. Wait, I don't understand. So does she live in the middle of nowhere? Is it a not populated playground? Let me see if can. Because this is the only two things. It's like, are they too young or is it a not populated playground? First of all, looks like two girls.
Speaker: Okay. Not that girls don't ah also go after toys. like Sure. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've never seen someone go after them on the level that Mike does. Sure. Yeah, you you do. He's an exceptionally very focused child on what he wants.
Speaker: I mean, you weren't there on his last weekday morning at the playground, but Mike explained to you. Oh, he told me. It was like every two seconds, like...
Speaker: Also, it made me realize, side note, that, well, our friend that was there, that his whole cohort is natties. Yeah. Where there's, like, no other parents there with kids as eight. um Well. see That were there. he was, like, sitting with all of them. Anyway. um
Speaker: Yeah, we'll talk. ah So, the the comment. I mean, she clearly is not. I mean, but she said palm trees. Where does she live? Where does she live? i need to know. She kind lives in the suburbs of Suggler. Maybe she lives in Bakersfield or something. There just aren't. there's This can't be a very populated area.
Speaker: But the comparisons, I just can't, I simply cannot take seriously That they're frustrated that they're not closer to the palm tree. but Okay, our kids are pretty smart. I think they know that they can't get to get to the palm tree. They're never trying to get to the palm tree. I think they have a, because... But we have a plethora of palm trees. But I think we've evolved to understand that the palm trees far away are hard to touch. I mean, it sounds like her kids didn't throw tantrums about other people, but they wouldn't because they are the ones bringing all the toys. exactly.
Speaker: They weren't the ones having the tantrums. They had all the toys. Everyone else was freaking out and she was judging them. Why? Because they weren't wearing sun hats. The end.
