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A Guide For Singles - Family Series
74 Plays2 years ago
This week, we dive into the importance of intentional engagement and building meaningful relationships in our lives in singleness.. We'll discuss the need for supportive and accountable connections, caution against rushing into marriage, and explore the freedom that being single can offer. Join us as we explore the joys and challenges of navigating life as a single individual in a world that often focuses on relationships and find guidance on how to live confidently in this stage of life.
Timestamps:
[00:02:17] Believers share pains, joys, and connections.
[00:03:07] Great parenting unpacked by Kyle last week.
[00:06:57] Stewarding single years: seek God's plan.
[00:10:48] Following Christ's call challenges our ethics, values, and time management. Marriage adds complexity, while singles can focus solely on God.
[00:13:16] Say yes to risky opportunities while single.
[00:18:39] Right person, wrong time creates bad relationships.
[00:20:35] Bad marriage is worse than no marriage.
[00:22:56] Protect heart, purity; reject world's false values.
[00:28:39] Adult kids, one not ready for marriage.
[00:31:02] Discover gifts, passions, connect, serve, include.
[00:35:21] Struggle with intimacy, seek purity, make change.
[00:36:17] Platform open for family, listen to Holy Spirit.
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Transcript
Unity and Acceptance in the Church
00:00:00
Speaker
So, by a show of hands, if you would just lift your hand, if there's anybody here who's ever cheated, lied, stolen, been rebellious, done anything wrong against the Ten Commandments, well, you threw that hand up enthusiastically. Thank you for taking ownership of that. Now, here's the reason why I asked you to do that, because I want you to know that no matter who you are or what brought you here this morning and what background you came out of, you are with family.
00:00:30
Speaker
It's who we are, every single one of us. It's the grace of God that allows us to come into this place and be a part of what God is doing here.
Singleness and Inclusion in the Church
00:00:37
Speaker
I don't want you to feel like anybody is looking at you this morning as part of this message and going, oh, is he talking about that person over there? If you think I'm talking about you, yes, I'm talking about you, okay?
00:00:48
Speaker
If you don't think I'm talking about you, yes, I'm talking about you. And it's not me, it's the Word of God as we go through it week by week, as we unpack all these messages, we're talking about the family. I'm really excited, we're wrapping this up today and we're going to be talking about singleness. Amazing statistic that I was reminded of this week. Every single one of us were single at some point, right? But here's the more amazing statistic.
00:01:15
Speaker
Even in the church, over 50% of us will be single again at some point. Divorce, death, separation. There are some of you who are today who are single because you're 23 years old and you haven't yet found someone. There are some of you who are 40-something years old and you've just recently gone through a divorce. There are some of you who are old.
00:01:45
Speaker
or at that place where you just said goodbye to a spouse in the last year or two and so you find yourself at a place that you haven't been in a long, long time. Hopefully this message will resonate with all of you a little bit because it's my sincere desire that every single one of you know that you belong. Every single one of you.
00:02:03
Speaker
And then a reminder to all of us, those of us who are in that married stage of life, that it's not the stage of life we're in that connects us.
Faith Over Marital Status: A Discussion
00:02:14
Speaker
It is the blood of Christ that connects us. And so as believers, as fellow believers, you and I are my brothers and sisters. We share together in the pains, the hurts, the burdens, the anxieties. We also share in the joys, the celebrations, the triumphs. All of those things make us want
00:02:34
Speaker
And so if you're not at a place where you feel connected yet in this church and you've been here for a while, I'd love for you to come and talk to one of us, especially John Ballard or Matt, about our life groups and our D groups where we'd love for you to get connected. Or if you're new to our congregation, make sure you stop by the tent a little bit later, even if you've already stopped there and say, hey, what's another place where I can start to begin to get connected?
00:02:55
Speaker
We're going to turn to the book of Corinthians today. We've been at Ephesians for the last few weeks as we've unpacked a submission, mutual submission to one another. We've talked about what it means to be a godly man and a godly woman. And last week Kyle did a fantastic job unpacking parenting for us. And any one of these messages over the last few weeks really could have been two or three weeks long. I mean, I told Kyle I was proud of him.
00:03:21
Speaker
44 minutes last week trying to do that. That was a lot of stuff he covered but it was great material, great reminder that the Bible absolutely has things it wants to say to us about our lives and how we live our lives.
Understanding Singleness Through 1 Corinthians 7
00:03:36
Speaker
The problem with singleness is that sometimes, even though we know that it's something we all go through, it can kind of sometimes come across as like the consolation prize in life, right? That you didn't quite make it to the end of the journey because you never found that person.
00:03:51
Speaker
Again, we want to kind of bust those myths apart today because we want you to understand that every single one of us were created by Christ Jesus with a plan and for a purpose of our lives. Ephesians 2, 8, 9 is a verse we all love to quote because it means a whole lot to us. It says, For it is grace that by grace you have been saved, and that is by faith not of works, so that no man should boast. But the very next verse, verse 10 says,
00:04:15
Speaker
For we are all God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works." And what that means is that literally every single one of us who come into the body of Christ are given a purpose by God. There's something that God wants us to do so He uniquely gifts us and challenges us. He gives us certain personality traits. All those things that fit together so that we can fulfill His plan for us.
00:04:40
Speaker
So 1 Corinthians chapter 7, let's take a look at what Paul has to say to us, and then I want to talk some guidelines for singles, the guidelines for all of us, and then some reminders as we look at God's Word. Number, verse 32, I want you to be without concerns. The unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But the married man is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife. Can I get an amen, guys?
Advantages of Singleness for Spiritual Focus
00:05:07
Speaker
Got to worry about how you please your wife, right?
00:05:10
Speaker
Some of you do not worry about how you please your wife, and that's why you're sitting there with a grim face this morning. 34, and his interests are divided. The unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord so that she may be holy, both in body and in spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but to promote what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.
00:05:41
Speaker
If any man thinks he is acting improperly towards the virgin he is engaged to, if she is getting beyond the usual age for marriage, and he feels he should marry, he can do what he wants. He is not sinning. They can get married. But he who stands firm in his heart, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and has decided in his heart to keep her as his fiancée, will do well.
00:06:06
Speaker
So then, he who marries his fiance does well, but he who does not marry will do better.
Choosing a Spouse: Timing and Compatibility
00:06:13
Speaker
And we're going to come back and unpack some of these phrases as we go through this. But I want to talk first of all to the singles, those of you who fall in that category. And again, I remind you, even if you're married here today, there's a good likelihood you may find yourself at this place at some point in the future again.
00:06:30
Speaker
because of circumstances in your life. I can tell you that when I was 32 years old, I would have sat in a sermon like this and I don't really need to pay much attention to this. I got this marriage thing down. But it would only be two years later that I would find myself back in a position as a single dad raising two kids.
00:06:47
Speaker
Lots of things that we need to take in and think about as we anticipate changes in life and where we are in life and even how we can encourage other people that God has put into our life. So how do we steward what we would call the single years? Number one, seek God's total plan for your life.
00:07:07
Speaker
The thing is, if you're unhappy or if you're frustrated with your situation in life or you're feeling outside pressure from other people, it can cause you to get your focus off of what God desires for you. How many of you have ever been to the family gathering where the aunt always goes, so why aren't you married yet?
00:07:26
Speaker
like you've got some kind of disease or something, right? I have a very close family, lots of uncles and aunts that I love very dearly. And I used to have one who all the time, like every time he saw me, and I was probably like 21 at this age, but he would see me and he would go, so how come you're not married? When are you getting married? Why aren't you married yet? And so one day, because I love him and I knew he would understand me, he said to me, he said, so when are you gonna get married? And I said, I don't know, when are you gonna stop drinking? He didn't drink, I just said that to him.
00:07:56
Speaker
And he looked and he said, okay, I get it. That's a personal question. And it is. It's a very personal question. You know, it's like so many other questions that can be kind of intrusive into the lives of people around us. But yes, pressure from other people causes us all the sun to be more concerned about what people think about us rather than what God's plan for our life is. And wherever you are, whatever stage you're in, it doesn't matter your age. What matters is what God's plan is for your life.
00:08:24
Speaker
Marriage is only one part of the plan and it's only for certain people. We'll look at that just a little bit more in just a second. So I encourage you, pursue God's will with an enthusiastic commitment and leave it up to God as to whether or not marriage is even a part of the plan that he has for
Morality, Patience, and God's Plan in Relationships
00:08:41
Speaker
your life. And please don't feel like you're incomplete if you don't have that person. Number two, live with a full life now.
00:08:51
Speaker
You see, too many singles that I know live in kind of that holding pattern in their life where they go. I better not make any big changes, better not make any big moves, better not try anything really drastic in my life that changes things. I better just kind of hold my place in my life until I decide whether or not God has marriage in mind. And my encouragement is to you get out of neutral.
00:09:15
Speaker
Get out of neutral. Live life now. Put your heart into following Jesus Christ with everything you have. Be committed to what his plan is for his life. You have time and energy now that you won't have in any other time in your life. Think about that. I don't care if you're 25 years old, 45 years old, or 65 years old. You have more energy now than you will for the rest of your life.
00:09:39
Speaker
Because as all of us get older, those opportunities diminish and they go away, as does our energy many times. So put your energy, put your focus, put your priorities into constructive long-term ministry projects. Invest in other people. Invest in other things. You're not stuck in some kind of holy waiting room between celibacy and marriage. You are designed and created for the life you are living right now, and God desires you to live it
00:10:08
Speaker
with every bit of your heart. Not tomorrow, right now. Number three, discern the advantages of being single. This is kind of where we're gonna unpack chapter seven just a little bit what we just read because he focuses primarily on three areas where he sees benefits to being a single person. First of all, he talks about focus.
00:10:32
Speaker
It enables you to focus on Jesus Christ without distraction. I mean, how many of you admit it's hard to follow Jesus? Okay, yeah, y'all better raise your hand. You're calling me and email me telling me how hard it is sometimes, you know.
00:10:45
Speaker
Yeah, it's hard, it's difficult, it's not an easy thing to do because the call that Christ puts on our life raises the bar for all of us in our ethics, our morality, our values,
Integrating Singles in Church Life
00:10:56
Speaker
just in how we spend our time, the priorities we make for ourselves. So when we add other things to our life, our focus becomes divided in so many different directions. There are fewer disruptions for a single person than for those who are married.
00:11:12
Speaker
Competing desires for a married person aren't bad. It's just a reality of what we face when we enter into that marriage stage. Single people on the other hand can be single-minded and honor God without complexities of things like spouse or children. You can minister to others without the interruption of other people's demands. How many of you will be honest and say you've got like a command central on your wall at home?
00:11:36
Speaker
where you have kids practices and rehearsals and husband's schedule. For most of us now, we've taken that digital and we've put it online. We share some kind of calendar trying to keep up with each other. When Lisa and I got married, we moved into our new home in Thompson Station. You walked into the laundry room door and there was literally a wall-sized dry erase calendar and every kid had their own color.
00:11:57
Speaker
And it looked like a unicorn had blown up all over the wall because there was little colors of all shapes and sizes everywhere. This kid was blue, this one was pink, this one was green. And oh, by the way, we had black for winter. The whole family had to be involved. And there was very seldom any white space on that calendar. And many times as you walk in the door, it'd be a reminder of, okay, we need some Sabbath in our life, you know?
00:12:23
Speaker
Well, for single people, there's better opportunity for that. The second thing, the second advantage is flexibility. How many of you have ever uttered the words, let me check with my spouse.
00:12:34
Speaker
Better see more men's hands than women's hands on that one, yeah. There have been many times where people ask me, hey, would y'all like to go to dinner Friday night? Would you like to go to a game with me? And the first thing that comes out of my mouth, rightfully so, is, well, let me check and see what Lisa's got in store. Let me see what's on the calendar. Let me see what's going on with our family. That is a respectful and rightful way for us to handle that. It's mutual submission to one another's priorities and desires. So it's not wrong for me to utter that, but praise God for the single person, they don't have to answer that question.
00:13:03
Speaker
It's a matter that they get to take on on their own. They can decide for themselves. Hey, this is what I want to do. This is where I want to spend my energy. This is where I want to take my resources. You don't have the weight of accounting for other people in your life. You can say yes more often. And might I suggest that you say yes even to more risky investments that you can take that a family person can't, a marriage person can't.
00:13:29
Speaker
Things like, if you're praying about whether or not God might want you to do missions someday, what better time to go try a mission trip to Africa than when you're young and single? Or if you're saying, hey, I think I might want to make a career change in my life. I was having a conversation with somebody who's been doing something for, I would guess, I don't know for sure, but at least 15 years of her life. And I said, so how's it going? She goes, I'm thinking I want to try something new.
00:13:53
Speaker
And I thought, well, that's really cool, but as I was thinking about the sermon today, I'm going, but you going into a place where you can do that because you have a husband and a kid, but a single person could launch out and try that new career and not worry so much about it because they've got the freedom to do those kinds of things. Flexibility, use that flexibility for the kingdom of God. And then last freedom, freedom, freedom from obligations of marriage enables you to do what married people just simply cannot.
00:14:22
Speaker
Marriage is helped by stable routines and clear obligations, but singleness provides you the mobility to move at a moment's notice, to adjust on the fly, to adapt your life in ways that married people just simply cannot. Now, I want to be clear that valuing singleness like Paul does here in 1 Corinthians 7 does not diminish the value of marriage at all. It is still a very incredible gift. It's a very wonderful thing. Be reminded it was God who created the idea of marriage.
00:14:51
Speaker
He's the one that came up with it and everything that God creates is good. I also would remind you that the same Paul who wrote 1 Corinthians 7 that we just read where he talks about singleness is the same Paul who wrote Ephesians 5 where we've been for the last four weeks and talking about marriage. So equally both of those are blessed and anointed by God for the right person at the right time. So number four, cultivate deep and caring relationships.
00:15:20
Speaker
All human beings need relationship. And this is a place where I want to just take a little side root for just a second and just tell you this. If you are here today sitting in a room of a hundred plus people and you feel alone, stop what you're doing and find relationships. None of us were created to do life by ourselves.
00:15:40
Speaker
We, all of us, all of us are created to do life with other people. I love that we showed that video today about the Baptist campus ministries because the reason that so many kids, those 70% walk away and get connected to other things at college, and some of you could get up and testify to this, the reason they walk away from the church is because when they leave their home church and get on a college campus, they look for connection and the first connection is something outside the church that finds them.
00:16:09
Speaker
It's a fraternity, it's a sorority, it's some social organization, it's some hobby, it's some whatever. And because that's where they find that connection, they are pulled away from the church. And that's why it is so important that kids make those connections on a college campus. But guys, let's apply it to real life. You live in a world that is opposed to most of the views you hold as a follower of Jesus Christ. You need friendships, you need relationships.
00:16:37
Speaker
And by the way, if you don't think they're important, think about the people of the Bible. Jesus, Mary, Martha, Lazarus, John the Baptist, Paul, and probably most likely most of the apostles who followed Jesus were all single people. And because of that, where they were able to devote themselves very clearly and entirely to the ministries they were called to. But every single one of the people I just mentioned were intentional about engaging in life with other people.
00:17:06
Speaker
They surround other people who would care about them, who would pray for them, who would encourage them, who would come alongside of them when they were tired, who would lift up their arms when they were weak, who would stand in their face and hold them accountable. And every single one of us, young, old, single, not single, every single one of us need those kinds of relationships in our lives. So make them a priority.
00:17:31
Speaker
Number five, be very, very, very cautious because there's limited space on the screen. I did not put all of the varies that I would like to say here. Very, very, very, very, very cautious about who you marry. Do not jump from the proverbial frying pan into the fire because you are rebounding or because you are anxious or because you are worried about not finding that right person. Do not. Do not.
00:18:01
Speaker
consider marriage a cure-all for your life. No marriage is better than a bad marriage. So to help that get in your head, I've created a little formula for you. A right person at the wrong time equals a wrong relationship. You can find the right person, but if the timing for your life in that moment is not right, you can ruin the whole thing by rushing the process. I can tell you that at 24 years old, I was not ready to be married.
00:18:31
Speaker
24-year-old, 4-year-old, I was not ready to be married. It was simply a year later where I met someone and did get married at age 25 that was only a year's
Living Fulfilled Lives as Singles
00:18:40
Speaker
difference. But if I had rushed that process even by a year, I would not have been emotionally, mentally, or even really, truthfully, financially mature enough to handle marriage.
00:18:51
Speaker
So the right person at the wrong time can create a bad relationship. And many times we rush that timing because people are putting outside pressure on us again, okay? You ever been in that relationship where you dated for like five or six months and people going, why aren't y'all married yet? Or when are y'all gonna get married? Y'all engaged, you know? At which point you have permission to just look at them and say, in Jesus name, I rebuke you.
00:19:16
Speaker
Yeah, right person, wrong time. And some of you in here, and I've heard your story, some of you could tell stories about how you had that right person in your life at some point, maybe even at high school or in college, you had a relationship, you parted ways, you went different ways, and you came back together later, and then was the right time for your relationship. So you have to be really careful about that. The second formula is just as important. Wrong person at the right time equals a wrong relationship.
00:19:44
Speaker
Maybe you're ready for marriage, and because you're so ready for marriage, you look at the first thing that pops up on your screen, or the first person that walks into your office, and you're going, hmm, meat! Just kidding. Some of you are scared to laugh at that, aren't you? You know that's what we used to call our singles ministry at our church, the meat market.
00:20:07
Speaker
That's the way people think, right? Okay, the timing's right. I've got this desire. I feel like God wants me to do this. This is me. This is who I want to be. And then all of a sudden this person shows up and because you laugh at a couple of jokes and you share a couple of things in common, all of a sudden you want to marry that person because this must be the right person because it's the right time.
00:20:28
Speaker
Be very, very cautious about that. And of course, the third part of the forum is very obvious. Wrong person, wrong time is always going to be a wrong relationship. This is where I remind you, no marriage is always better than a bad marriage. And we've got people in this church who've gone through the pain of divorce, who can tell you you absolutely do not want to do something like that outside of God's will. And let me just ask you, offer a special word of caution for those of you who are single because of divorce or separation. Don't do the bounce back thing.
00:20:58
Speaker
I know it's weird if you've gone through a relationship where you were with somebody 10, 15, 20 years and suddenly you're alone and you're used to being married and there's this draw to pull you back into marriage because marriage was good for you at some point. But I promise you if it's meant for you to be and you want it to be good again, it's worth waiting again for the right person. The right person. So the formula we were looking for, right person, right time.
00:21:28
Speaker
right relationship for you. Lastly, stay morally and sexually pure. Stay morally and sexually pure. So several different categories here. Number one, for those of you who are single because you're young and you've not yet found a person or you don't know if you're ever going to get married but you're just in that single stage, let me tell you, like I used to tell students for years and years and years and years, do not
00:21:54
Speaker
Do not connect your heart to someone else prematurely. That's what sex does. The example I used to use with my students, many of you have probably seen if you take two pieces of construction paper and you glue them together like this and then try to pull them apart again, what happens? Both of them get torn up horribly. That's literally what happens for human hearts when you connect on a physical level before the right and proper time that God has given us.
00:22:22
Speaker
Okay. Now some of you may be going, well, how do you know that pastor? Because I did it. And I can tell you it's the biggest regret in my life. Hands down, easily the biggest regret in my life. Because I thought I was mature. I thought that I was cool. I thought this was the thing to do. And young person today, I will tell you, this is the message you're hearing over and over again. You watch entertainment and entertainment will tell you, Oh wait, you're 20 years old and you've never had a physical relationship with somebody. What's wrong with you?
00:22:53
Speaker
And I encourage you, don't look at it that way. If you have protected your heart and protected your purity all the way to this point, look at the world and say, nothing's wrong with me, it's what's right with me and what's wrong with you. Listen, the world is so desperately looking for affection and attention and identity and all these things, they all think the natural answer is to hop in bed with the next person who comes available. Surely that will be the answer.
00:23:20
Speaker
But this is why we have so much of the heartache that goes on in our world. Now, second group of people I want to talk to is those of us, and I include to me in this, those of us who've been married before but for whatever reason find ourselves single again. Sometimes we have a tendency to go, oh well I'm not pure, I was married before so these rules don't apply to me. That is a lie that Satan wants to feed you.
00:23:41
Speaker
Because again, any physical relationship naturally connects people in a way that is meant only for the bonds of marriage. When you do that outside the bonds of marriage, you create this issue. And I can tell you, 38 years of ministry experience, how many times I've had young people come up to me and go, well, we're going to get married anyway. We're sure we're going to get married. I know this is the right person. You're looking at a guy whose daughter
00:24:10
Speaker
whose daughter literally canceled a wedding 40 days before it was supposed to happen. You never know that you're going to get married until the day you say I do. Some of us have stories of being left at the altar because in the last minute he or she decided I can't do this. You don't know until you know and you only know when that thing has been legally bound by God and the minister you stand before and of ceremony called a marriage.
00:24:42
Speaker
So do not compromise this. Last group I want to talk to is those of you who are living together and you're not married. This gets a little bit personal because we have some in this church. I'm just here to tell you, I don't look down on you. I don't judge you. I am actually here just to lovingly warn you. That's not where you need to be. It's not where you need to be. And several of you will come to me or you'll come to Lisa or somebody else in our church and you'll go,
00:25:09
Speaker
I just need to talk to you. I just can't seem to get any traction with God. My relationship with God is struggling. I can't hear from God, blah, blah, blah. And my answer to you is because you're starting in the wrong place right off the bat. You should not be in a household with someone who's not your husband or not your wife. That's not the way to begin a relationship with God.
00:25:28
Speaker
Well, I read his word all the time and I just don't seem to hear from him because you're not honoring him. It's when you honor him first that he speaks to you in his heart or in your heart to let you know what's next for you in your life. And we make all kinds of reasons and they all sound really, really good on the surface. Well, we have such a great friendship. Well, don't ruin the friendship by doing what God doesn't want you to do. Hang on to that friendship. I have lots of friends. I don't sleep with all of them. Okay?
00:25:58
Speaker
And then sometimes people will go, but well, I just can't make it financially if I don't have her salary to help me out or if I don't have his salary. Listen, your finances are in the hand of God whether you're single or married. So if you want God to bless your financial situation, then get your life where he wants you to be and how you live it out. Honor him first and then watch how he respects the fact that you honor him. By the way, married couples, same thing's true with you.
Church as a Supportive Family
00:26:27
Speaker
You want your finances ordered rightly? You want God to bless those things? Then figure out what His priorities for you should be and eliminate all the other stuff in your relationship. Okay? All right. So let's turn our attention away from the singles and let's talk to all of us right now. All of us. For the rest of us, there's four reminders I want to make. Number one, we have to value the single person. Being single is a legitimate Christian lifestyle. Okay?
00:26:57
Speaker
It's one of many that's offered to us in scripture. It's okay for people to stay single the rest of their life. There's nothing wrong with them. There's nothing incomplete about them. There's nothing like damaged about them. They've just chosen to stay in that place in their life. Do not think of the church, specifically this church, as a federation of families that are loosely connected. We are all together one family. We're one family.
00:27:26
Speaker
And I just want to say that to you again, especially for those of you who are newer to our congregation, being family is a really important thing to us here. You really truly all are my brothers and sisters. We are all really truly connected to one another. Hope hopes my sister in Christ. Katie, she's my sister in Christ. Taylor, he's my second cousin twice removed on my mother's side. But no, we're family, all of us.
00:27:54
Speaker
And we have this thing that we bring together in the value that we bring because we were all created in the image of God. That means all of us are valuable to one another. None of us are damaged goods. None of us are broken pieces. We're not settling for anything. We're just all trying to pursue God's desires for us. So no matter what your stage of life, your age of life, your background, or your status at Grove Hill Church, you are family. Number two, develop sensitivity towards single people.
00:28:23
Speaker
The truth is that all of us sometimes make assumptions and stereotypes that might lead to things like hurtful comments we make to people. So we need to be more conscious and more aware of the needs that singles have and the desires that single have. I have to be one of the ones to confess here at this moment. My wife and I are blessed with four kids, all of them adults, three of them are married. We have a son who's 28 and who has not yet chosen to get married.
00:28:47
Speaker
And one of the things that I do to him all the time, and Lisa lovingly kind of corrects me all the time, is he walks in the door. I'm going, you seeing anybody? And sometimes it's because I'm just trying to fill space with him because he's growing up and sometimes growing in different directions than I anticipated. But I do. Sometimes I'll go, you think you're ever going to get married? Are you ever going to give me an ancestor from this part of the family tree? I mean, you know, those kinds of things.
00:29:10
Speaker
I have to be reminded that that may never be a part of Harrison's plan for his life. God may have something entirely different, but if I step back and I'm objective enough, what I realize is Harrison's not ready to be married. I'm talking about a kid who literally just took a month of his life, took everything he owned in his car and rode around the West and parked in Walmart parking lots and slept every night. That child's not ready for a wife.
00:29:40
Speaker
And I have to be honest, there was a part of me that thought, I'm a little envious. You're getting to see things I've always wanted to see. That's really, really cool. I'm glad you're there. If you were married right now, you would be miserable or you'd be making somebody miserable. So I don't want you to get there. And here's the other reality. Harrison's not exactly where I would pray that he would be in his relationship with Jesus. So I don't need him distracted by a woman right now. I want Jesus to get his attention first.
00:30:07
Speaker
So it might be that that single coworker, that single friend, that single family member you keep pestering is right where God wants them to be right now. So be very careful how you say those things to them.
00:30:19
Speaker
Thirdly, integrate singles into the full fellowship of the church. I know all the churches that are doing like cool stuff like ministries and things, they all have like a young adult or single adult or single again kind of ministries. And those are great as supplements to church, but they shouldn't ever take the place of the church. Okay. It's not like here's the church and then here's all the single people out on the side just kind of hanging on.
00:30:44
Speaker
They're a part of what we are. They are who we are. They are not some different class of Grovefield members. They are the church. So we need to figure out how to integrate them into the full life of the church. You need to, if you're single, need to figure out how to integrate yourself into the life of the church. Don't put yourself out on the edge and isolate yourself. Find your gifts, find your passions, and plug yourself in.
00:31:05
Speaker
If you can't connect, you can't figure out where you need to connect, come see one of our staff members and let's help you find a ministry to serve in, a small group to be a part of, a place where you can express your gifts and talents. Because again, Ephesians 2 10 says, we are all created as part of God's workmanship. We all have something that we were created to do. And then for those of us who are non-single, please be conscious about welcoming single people into your group of friends.
00:31:34
Speaker
invite them so that the message is loud and clear that this group, this Grove Hill Church family, is for everyone who wants to come. Number four, families intentionally include singles in your social circles. Go to lunch with them, invite them to ball games with you, go hang out with them, invite them to watch a movie, and learn how to talk about something besides your marriage and your kids.
00:32:02
Speaker
Nothing makes a single person feel more awkward when you're sitting around the dinner table talking about diapers. Unless you're talking about your adult diapers and that's a different story entirely. But seriously, you invite them over and say, hey, let's watch a movie together and you spend the whole time talking about your kids and their ballgames and all that kind of stuff. Well, there's a place for some of that.
00:32:21
Speaker
But be reminded that single person is at a different stage. They may have other things they want to talk about. Here's a great idea. Talk about what the Bible's teaching you right now and share those kinds of conversations. Because we're all working on that journey in our life. Alright, so let me close with just three just kind of summary statements that I hope will encourage your heart. Number one, getting married is not the prize for being more holy or more pretty. It's not the goal line for you and I.
00:32:50
Speaker
It's not that moment where you go, I do in a marriage ceremony and go, hey, I've arrived. This is it. The pinnacle of my life. No, it's not that. Marriage is some people's journey and some people's, it's not. Bless you. Number two.
00:33:11
Speaker
Your significance is not predicated on whether or not you have a ring on your finger, which leads to number three. You don't have to have a significant other to be significant. You see, you don't need a better half to make you whole because Jesus himself has already gone the whole way in dying for you. Which means if you're looking for value in your life, you have it because of the cross of Jesus Christ.
00:33:38
Speaker
not because who's on your arm or who shares your house or who drives cars with you, who does life with you, who raises kids with you. Those people can't ever complete you. The only person who ever can, who ever could was Jesus Christ himself. So be reminded of that.
00:33:56
Speaker
So over the last five weeks, we've talked about everything related to families. And again, this series could have gone much longer and we could have gone much deeper. The idea behind this is obviously to address current issues, current concerns that many of us have, but also to give us a very strong foundation and so that you would emerge from these series of sermons with two things in mind. Number one, a better idea of how you're supposed to live out your stage of life where you are. Okay.
00:34:23
Speaker
whether that's as a teenager or a young adult or someone who's been married for 40 years and got grown kids, whatever the case may be, we want you to live more confidently out of the season or stage of life that you are in. But number two, it is to build level ground for all of us as the body of Christ so that as we go out to live sent lives, we come from a place of confidence that we have been given because our identity is in Jesus Christ himself.
00:34:51
Speaker
So this is how we're gonna close today. Maybe this series has taught you some things about how you're supposed to handle your relationships and that's awesome, that's wonderful. We love that, that's part of our desire. Maybe this morning you would love to take your spouse by the hand and bring them up here and just recommit yourself to being a better husband or a better wife or maybe being a more God-centered marriage.
Concluding Reflections and Encouragement
00:35:14
Speaker
Maybe, maybe there are young adults in this room who say, you know what, I have struggled with this whole,
00:35:19
Speaker
flesh thing. I've struggled with the physical intimacy thing. Let me just remind you that every single one of us before we started this sermon raised our hand that we have done things that we just wish we had never done. Nobody in here judges you for that, right? Nobody in here judges you for that. We're all sinners saved alone by the grace of God and what he did for us on the cross of Calvary. But today might be the day where you come up and you go, you know what, I'm going to recommit myself to the purity that God asked of me.
00:35:49
Speaker
because God matters that much to me. Maybe there's some of you who have things in your life, your current relationships, your current living situation where you go, you know what, this isn't God's best for me and it's time for me to make a change. Whatever God is speaking to your heart, this is the time we invite you to respond. There will be people up here you can pray with, people you can talk to, or if you just want to come to this altar by yourself, spend some time before God and just talk to him about what you're feeling, what the spirit is nudging you in.
00:36:17
Speaker
or maybe you want to bring your whole family. This platform is always open for those things. We just encourage you in this moment right now, as the Holy Spirit might be speaking to you, you respond as God leads you. Father God, we thank you for this day and for this time and for these words that encourage our hearts. And I pray that we would indeed draw strength from them. In this season of our life, no matter what that season looks like, Lord, you ask one thing and that is that we make you the priority. So,
00:36:46
Speaker
Show us what that looks like, teach us what it looks like in practical terms, and then give us the strength and courage it takes to live it out. We thank you for Jesus, we thank you for the cross, and it's in his name we pray. Amen.