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King Graham Married Out of His League (King's Quest: Kingdom of Sorrow Part 1)
24 Plays11 months ago
If there is one thing we learn about King Graham in this King's Quest adventure is that his Queen, Valanice, is so hot that even the faerie folk are jealous of her. That's a serious smoke show. Uhhh anyway welcome back to King's Quest!
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Transcript
Introduction and Reflections on King's Quest: Kingdom of Sorrow
00:00:00
Speaker
And that goes away pretty quick.
00:00:02
Speaker
Pretty quick.
00:00:03
Speaker
So, yeah, I don't blame you.
00:00:05
Speaker
I don't blame you in the slightest.
00:00:07
Speaker
You know what else I don't blame you for?
00:00:12
Speaker
What's that?
Podcast Introduction and Theme Setting
00:00:13
Speaker
Hey there, everybody.
00:00:13
Speaker
Welcome back to Pig Slip.
00:00:15
Speaker
My name is Kevin.
00:00:16
Speaker
With me as always is Phil on today's show.
00:00:19
Speaker
We're talking about, what are we talking about?
00:00:23
Speaker
We're talking about King's Quest.
00:00:25
Speaker
Kingdom of Sorrow.
00:00:26
Speaker
Kingdom of Sorrow.
00:00:28
Speaker
You
Overview of King's Quest Game and Characters
00:00:28
Speaker
know what's funny is he sent me two PDFs and I was like, started reading it and I was like done.
00:00:33
Speaker
I was like, oh shit, did I read the right one?
00:00:35
Speaker
Did you seriously?
00:00:36
Speaker
Oh, that's hilarious.
00:00:37
Speaker
Yeah, no, it was the right one.
00:00:38
Speaker
I read Kingdom of Sorrow.
00:00:39
Speaker
Okay, good.
00:00:39
Speaker
But I was like, but...
00:00:42
Speaker
I needed to go back and make sure.
00:00:44
Speaker
Wait, wait a goddamn minute.
00:00:47
Speaker
Okay.
00:00:48
Speaker
So yeah, King's Quest, Kingdom of Sorrow.
00:00:52
Speaker
So King's Quest was a point and click or not.
00:00:57
Speaker
Only point and click.
00:00:58
Speaker
It started out as a parser graphic adventure back in the 80s by Sierra Online.
00:01:08
Speaker
And it followed the adventures of your son.
00:01:12
Speaker
Yes.
00:01:13
Speaker
The Noble King Graham.
00:01:15
Speaker
The Noble King Graham.
00:01:17
Speaker
And this is our second King's Quest book.
00:01:19
Speaker
The first one followed Graham as he found a kingdom, a castle in the sky.
00:01:30
Speaker
It's like his son.
00:01:31
Speaker
It's Alexander.
00:01:33
Speaker
It's Alexander.
00:01:33
Speaker
That's right.
00:01:34
Speaker
Okay, so Alexander.
00:01:36
Speaker
So the first one we read took place in the future from what this one is.
00:01:41
Speaker
Yes, this one would be a prequel to the first one.
00:01:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:44
Speaker
Yes.
00:01:46
Speaker
Maybe that explains why this one is so much better than that one.
00:01:49
Speaker
I don't know.
00:01:50
Speaker
Or the new author.
00:01:52
Speaker
Or the new author.
00:01:52
Speaker
This is a different author from the other one.
00:01:55
Speaker
Yeah, that's my guess.
00:01:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:57
Speaker
And who is the author?
00:01:58
Speaker
Ken
Exploring Morella Sands' Contributions to King's Quest
00:01:58
Speaker
Moore.
00:01:59
Speaker
The author is
00:02:00
Speaker
Kenyon Moore, there were three King's Quest books that were written, and Kenyon Moore wrote number two and number three.
00:02:08
Speaker
When I did some research to find out who Kenyon Moore was, I didn't find anything aside from the King's Quest books, and that's because Kenyon Moore is the pen name of one Morella Sands.
00:02:21
Speaker
Hmm.
00:02:22
Speaker
She is a, I believe, a Midwestern author.
00:02:25
Speaker
She does a lot of modern, sorry, urban fantasy,
Discussion on Morella Sands' The New Confederacy Series
00:02:31
Speaker
some horror in there, that kind of thing.
00:02:34
Speaker
A lot of it from the looks of it, a little a lot of self-published stuff and everything like that.
00:02:38
Speaker
But she's still she's still working like she's her her latest book came out last year.
00:02:43
Speaker
Um, so she's, she's keeping up.
00:02:45
Speaker
So she's got this one multi-part series.
00:02:47
Speaker
I believe she's on the fifth book called the new Confederacy.
00:02:50
Speaker
And it's an alternate history book where, uh, the civil war ended with both sides going their separate ways and becoming new, uh, countries.
00:02:59
Speaker
And, and it's like the modern day they're trying to come together and you've, and you're following like, uh,
00:03:06
Speaker
spies, I guess, like people who are who are on both sides trying to interesting brook some sort of peace deal or something like that, which I mean, and that's the thing that could go really, really great.
00:03:18
Speaker
And I could go really bad, too.
00:03:20
Speaker
So, yeah, it could go really bad.
00:03:22
Speaker
I
Historical Context of The New Confederacy
00:03:22
Speaker
find it interesting that kind of the impetus the is that so Lincoln loses reelection.
00:03:31
Speaker
is the concept behind it because it's called the McClellan Davis Accord.
00:03:37
Speaker
So for those of you who don't know, George McClellan was a former Union general who then became an anti-war guy.
00:03:49
Speaker
So I believe McClellan was the first general in charge of the Army of the Potomac.
00:03:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:58
Speaker
think so he was like he was in charge he was the one who got he who absolutely got absolutely housed at the beginning of the civil war and it was like early on when lincoln is like having to sack and swap generals out like left and right because they're not taking it fucking seriously um so mcclellan was one of them he runs as an anti-war presidential candidate uh in 1964 and obviously lincoln
00:04:28
Speaker
1964 1964 19... That would have to be like 1864, right?
00:04:31
Speaker
1864 That was 1964 It's like, god damn They had some staying power
00:04:47
Speaker
Yeah, he was a long-lived man.
World-Building in King's Quest Game
00:04:49
Speaker
Actually, I have no idea how long he lived.
00:04:51
Speaker
But still, yeah, he ran as anti-war candidate, loses to Lincoln, and Lincoln continues the war and sees it through.
00:05:00
Speaker
Whereas if McClellan won the presidency, he would have been like, great, we're just going to be two separate countries.
00:05:08
Speaker
Good to be done and moving on.
00:05:12
Speaker
So it's an interesting way to, it's an interesting inciting incident, basically.
00:05:19
Speaker
Usually when you see those, it's like the Confederacy fought and won somehow or something like that.
00:05:24
Speaker
So this kind of...
00:05:28
Speaker
you know, bit of history.
00:05:29
Speaker
It's kind of impressive that that's the, that's the impetus for it.
00:05:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:34
Speaker
So yeah, that's, that's, that's our author.
00:05:38
Speaker
I'm just looking at the name of the titles.
00:05:41
Speaker
They're all P words.
00:05:43
Speaker
Oh yeah.
00:05:44
Speaker
Perdition.
00:05:45
Speaker
Perdition.
00:05:46
Speaker
Purgatory.
00:05:47
Speaker
Perfection.
00:05:49
Speaker
Perpenduity.
00:05:54
Speaker
Pot smoker.
00:05:55
Speaker
That's weird.
00:05:57
Speaker
I don't know what that has to do with anything, Morella.
00:06:00
Speaker
Oh, God.
00:06:01
Speaker
Perpenduity, by the way, was a made-up word that we made up for something we wrote called decodia.
00:06:10
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:06:11
Speaker
Perpenduity.
00:06:12
Speaker
I forget sometimes that that isn't a real word.
00:06:14
Speaker
We began to use that word so frequently.
00:06:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:18
Speaker
It sounds like it's... I believe that it's like it goes right in there with decoded.
00:06:24
Speaker
as it might as well be a real world.
00:06:27
Speaker
Might as well be a real world.
00:06:28
Speaker
Perpenduity.
00:06:29
Speaker
Perpenduity.
Patreon Promotion and Listener Engagement
00:06:33
Speaker
I like it.
00:06:37
Speaker
But you know what else I like is I like a website called patreon.com slash pixel.
00:06:43
Speaker
Where you could follow us for free on there.
00:06:46
Speaker
It's basically our de facto blog that you can go to and you can follow us join for free and you get early access to episodes if you're following us for free on there.
00:06:56
Speaker
$1 gets you access to some paywalled blogs.
00:07:00
Speaker
$5 gets you ad-free episodes and also ad-free episodes.
00:07:06
Speaker
I'm trying to remember what $5.
00:07:10
Speaker
You get stuff.
00:07:13
Speaker
$5 gets you ad-free episodes.
00:07:15
Speaker
And the bonus content that we record before every episode and $10 a month gets you shouted out at the beginning of every episode.
00:07:24
Speaker
To that end, I want to shout out Jesus Loves You, Kyle Seaman, Ruthless Mudder, Middle of Things, Sigma Sal, Chet Beaks, Demi Thick, and Friendly Friends.
00:07:34
Speaker
Thank you for being a friend.
00:07:37
Speaker
So what do you say we go ahead and put the body in the marsh?
00:07:42
Speaker
Put the bodies in the marsh.
00:07:44
Speaker
Put the bodies in the marsh.
00:07:47
Speaker
Read books.
00:07:49
Speaker
This ain't reality TV.
00:07:53
Speaker
Okay.
00:07:55
Speaker
Give a body, read a book.
00:07:57
Speaker
Give a body.
00:07:59
Speaker
You know what?
00:08:00
Speaker
That's what we need to do.
00:08:00
Speaker
That's a merch idea.
00:08:01
Speaker
We need to do pixel-lit branded book it stuff.
00:08:05
Speaker
Like the old Pizza Hut thing.
00:08:06
Speaker
And we'll have the owl instead of the give-a-hoot owl just like dropping a body in the marsh from its tail.
00:08:14
Speaker
Oh, I love it.
00:08:15
Speaker
I love it.
00:08:16
Speaker
That's perfect.
00:08:16
Speaker
That's perfect.
00:08:17
Speaker
If we've got any visual artists out there, please help us.
00:08:21
Speaker
That would be amazing.
00:08:22
Speaker
Okay, so we start with...
00:08:25
Speaker
I've gone back and forth on how to pronounce this.
00:08:28
Speaker
Ahiorina, who is the she is a fairy.
00:08:32
Speaker
She is the queen of the old wood and old wood is capitalized.
00:08:37
Speaker
So, you know that it's important.
00:08:41
Speaker
It is a proper name.
00:08:43
Speaker
Exactly.
00:08:43
Speaker
Exactly.
00:08:45
Speaker
Right off the bat, I feel like it's a good start because we actually feel like it's literally fairy tale inspired.
00:08:52
Speaker
So I was I was pretty happy.
00:08:54
Speaker
You just look at it.
00:08:55
Speaker
You're like, OK, they're going to go all Midsummer Night's Dream on my ass.
00:08:58
Speaker
Like this is this is this will be fun.
00:09:01
Speaker
You get her court and all that stuff.
00:09:05
Speaker
And one in particular who is holding a jonquil.
00:09:10
Speaker
And I know what you're thinking.
00:09:11
Speaker
I know what you're coming at at this point.
00:09:15
Speaker
I can feel your mental hunger.
00:09:16
Speaker
What the fuck is
Plot and Magical Encounters in King's Quest Book
00:09:17
Speaker
a jonquil?
00:09:18
Speaker
It's a yellow flower.
00:09:20
Speaker
It is a flower.
00:09:21
Speaker
I was wondering about that.
00:09:23
Speaker
I didn't look it up.
00:09:24
Speaker
But it sounded like...
00:09:29
Speaker
I don't know why I thought John Quill was like, is it like a carriage that you are bandied about in?
00:09:36
Speaker
It's like they, the king sat upon his John Quill.
00:09:40
Speaker
His servants dragged him ass first into the streets.
00:09:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:45
Speaker
Well, based on the context, I thought it was like a scepter or like, or even like one of those eggs that you see in medieval paintings with the cross on it, you know, that they're holding that kind of shit.
00:09:57
Speaker
Um,
00:09:58
Speaker
They are approached by an imp who basically just shows up unannounced and wants to... He's being real shady, basically.
00:10:13
Speaker
And they know something wrong is going on.
00:10:16
Speaker
And before they can respond to him, a whole bunch of fucking imps come out of the woods and just start firing.
00:10:22
Speaker
And we get dead fairies, man.
00:10:24
Speaker
We get like...
00:10:26
Speaker
Dead fairies galore getting shot down by these imps.
00:10:30
Speaker
I don't know exactly what an imp in this world is.
00:10:32
Speaker
I mean, I've always took it as a demon kind of thing.
00:10:35
Speaker
So that's an interesting combination, demons versus fairies.
00:10:40
Speaker
But...
00:10:41
Speaker
Basically, the head imp, Kuzgu, takes a yellow flower that he'd offered her before and smacks her in the face with the flower.
00:10:53
Speaker
And we get a kind of moment.
00:10:56
Speaker
And the powder from the flower basically knocks the queen out.
00:11:02
Speaker
And that is how the chapter ends.
00:11:03
Speaker
It's a real joker maneuver.
00:11:06
Speaker
Very much so.
00:11:07
Speaker
Very much so.
00:11:07
Speaker
Yeah, love that Joker.
00:11:09
Speaker
It's the Joker with the Jonquil.
00:11:12
Speaker
Yes.
00:11:15
Speaker
The Joker with the Jonquil.
00:11:16
Speaker
The Jonquil.
00:11:19
Speaker
That's got to be a new FM radio style thing.
00:11:22
Speaker
Hey, it's the Joker with the Jonquil here on 88.6.
00:11:25
Speaker
Joker with the Jonquil here on 88.6.
00:11:26
Speaker
And playing all of the 90s favorites from 1996 to 1997.
00:11:27
Speaker
That's all just that year.
00:11:29
Speaker
Don't ask for more.
00:11:30
Speaker
I don't know.
00:11:40
Speaker
I want to know right now what will I do?
00:11:46
Speaker
You get a little whip crack sound effect.
00:11:48
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:11:50
Speaker
Can you move your mic back like one inch?
00:11:53
Speaker
Too loud.
00:11:56
Speaker
I'm too powerful.
00:11:57
Speaker
Too powerful.
00:11:58
Speaker
You're toasting that little thing inside there.
00:12:01
Speaker
Poor thing.
00:12:03
Speaker
So chapter two opens up and we meet for the first time in this book King Graham of Daventry.
00:12:12
Speaker
And right now what he is doing is he's...
00:12:15
Speaker
He's got a kid there who it's his 10th birthday.
00:12:20
Speaker
It feels kind of like a Make-A-Wish Foundation kind of thing.
00:12:23
Speaker
It's this kid that's not his son.
00:12:27
Speaker
It's the son of the Seneschal, right?
00:12:29
Speaker
The Seneschal.
00:12:29
Speaker
The Seneschal is the person who kind of like runs the comings and goings of a castle.
00:12:35
Speaker
By the way, one of my favorites, like...
00:12:38
Speaker
court like position words, Seneschal.
00:12:42
Speaker
Seneschal is a great word.
00:12:43
Speaker
And there's actually one of my favorite character in, or one of my favorite characters in the, in Rogue Trader, Warhammer 40K Rogue Trader CRPG came out last year is his title is a Seneschal.
00:12:59
Speaker
Oh, what's his face?
00:13:01
Speaker
Your right hand man.
00:13:02
Speaker
Yeah, right hand man.
00:13:03
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:13:04
Speaker
He's an excellent character.
00:13:06
Speaker
So, yeah, it's the son of the Seneschal.
00:13:09
Speaker
And he's like, the kid has always wanted to see the view from like the top of the parapets.
00:13:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:15
Speaker
But, you know, they try to keep the kids off there because like one false step and you're splattered on the rocks below.
00:13:21
Speaker
And they figure it's his 10th birthday and Graham's going to be there.
00:13:25
Speaker
So whatever.
00:13:27
Speaker
And this is where we find out that Graham's own son, Alexander, has been missing for 10 years, that he got snatched away shortly after his birth.
00:13:37
Speaker
And Graham has no idea where he is.
00:13:40
Speaker
So he's getting real paternal.
00:13:43
Speaker
Like, that's what this is about.
00:13:44
Speaker
He's sad and paternal.
00:13:47
Speaker
This is my boy.
00:13:48
Speaker
This is my boy.
00:13:49
Speaker
And you're like, no, this is the son of Shal's boy.
00:13:51
Speaker
No, that's the son of Shal's boy.
00:13:52
Speaker
Graham, step away from the boy.
00:13:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:56
Speaker
I mean, real Jack Nicholson, The Departed, just gathering sons to him from every direction.
00:14:02
Speaker
We get to meet Queen Valenice, his super hot wife, who we were discussing this.
00:14:09
Speaker
Yeah, we will.
00:14:10
Speaker
And we will hear how hot she is in a chapter or two.
00:14:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:14
Speaker
Her hotness factors into, you know, gameplay mechanics.
00:14:18
Speaker
It solves the puzzle.
00:14:20
Speaker
Yes, exactly.
00:14:22
Speaker
Yeah, her hotness solves a puzzle for her alone, but still.
00:14:25
Speaker
It's actually like her hotness is an item in her inventory.
00:14:29
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:14:30
Speaker
Like if you're really, if you're playing as her and you're just, you're like use hotness on, but then it always works.
00:14:38
Speaker
That's the thing.
00:14:39
Speaker
I think it would be a right click thing where it's like you've got talk, touch, smell, hot.
00:14:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:46
Speaker
Hot.
00:14:47
Speaker
Do I use hot?
00:14:48
Speaker
And that's the easy mode.
00:14:49
Speaker
You use hot to like unlock anything.
00:14:51
Speaker
Use hot and it works.
00:14:53
Speaker
You know?
00:14:53
Speaker
Oh, that's a great idea.
00:14:54
Speaker
And then you get an achievement if all you use the entire run through is hot.
00:14:57
Speaker
The entire game is hot.
00:14:59
Speaker
I love it.
00:15:00
Speaker
Or at least try.
00:15:01
Speaker
Yeah, this is, I mean, you know, Phil and I are destined to make a point and click adventure at some point in our lives.
00:15:08
Speaker
We are.
00:15:09
Speaker
We really need to.
00:15:09
Speaker
And I feel like that would be a real good mechanic.
00:15:15
Speaker
Oh my gosh, that would be hilarious.
00:15:17
Speaker
Are you kidding me?
00:15:17
Speaker
I'd love that.
00:15:18
Speaker
So
00:15:23
Speaker
Yeah, so that's what we get there.
00:15:24
Speaker
And we are to know that it is early spring in Daventry, which is a very mild place to live.
00:15:32
Speaker
But they mention briefly some cold winds that have come in a little bit.
00:15:40
Speaker
But when they go outside at the end of the chapter, they see that the whole courtyard has just been covered in snow.
00:15:46
Speaker
So something's up with the weather.
00:15:50
Speaker
Let's see.
00:15:51
Speaker
So we get to chapter three, almost as if on cue, we get a member of the fairy court coming in, basically extending an invitation to Graham to talk with the king of the old wood.
00:16:07
Speaker
It's an elk rider.
00:16:09
Speaker
An elk rider, which is really neat.
00:16:10
Speaker
That's pretty cool.
00:16:11
Speaker
So it's just a dude, a fairy dude on the back of an elk, just like riding right into the...
00:16:18
Speaker
The king place.
00:16:21
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:16:23
Speaker
The king's court.
00:16:25
Speaker
There we go.
00:16:26
Speaker
The king's court.
00:16:27
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:16:27
Speaker
The room where the king sits.
00:16:31
Speaker
Where the king holds.
00:16:35
Speaker
Anyway, the court courtroom courtroom.
00:16:39
Speaker
Chunk chunk.
00:16:42
Speaker
So in the world of King's Quest.
00:16:45
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:16:46
Speaker
Law and Order.
00:16:47
Speaker
King's Quest.
00:16:47
Speaker
Law and Order Daventry.
00:16:49
Speaker
Law and Order Daventry.
00:16:53
Speaker
Oh, where is that game?
00:16:54
Speaker
Can can do you have do we have any connections to the the Williams is are they?
00:17:00
Speaker
No, I do.
00:17:00
Speaker
They own King's Quest still.
00:17:03
Speaker
I think so.
00:17:04
Speaker
I think so.
00:17:05
Speaker
I do know.
00:17:06
Speaker
I do have a connection with Al Lowe.
00:17:07
Speaker
Well, Al Lowe could probably get you.
00:17:11
Speaker
Who could probably get me a connection there.
00:17:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:13
Speaker
So that's I probably get your Roberta's phone number.
00:17:17
Speaker
So, yeah, exactly.
00:17:18
Speaker
You know, he's still got that one on speed.
00:17:20
Speaker
Oh, Al.
00:17:23
Speaker
The master of dirty dad jokes.
00:17:25
Speaker
Yep.
00:17:25
Speaker
Oh, boy.
00:17:28
Speaker
So we get kind of a bit of a background on the Fae in this world, basically.
00:17:34
Speaker
It's actually very similarly played to like...
00:17:39
Speaker
Gaelic and Celtic Fae, where it's like, they don't necessarily always mean harm, but you shouldn't trust them.
00:17:47
Speaker
So Graham is not
Graham's Preparation and Detailed Descriptions
00:17:49
Speaker
thrilled about the idea of following this elk rider into these woods that are filled with fairies.
00:17:56
Speaker
But he's also got a suspicion he doesn't have much of choice, because basically he suspects that this has something to do
00:18:04
Speaker
with the snowing situation.
00:18:06
Speaker
It's spring, it's supposed to be spring, and they are buried in snow.
00:18:10
Speaker
Yeah, people will die, people will starve.
00:18:14
Speaker
It's not cute.
00:18:16
Speaker
It's not a cute look, you know?
00:18:17
Speaker
It's not a cute look.
00:18:18
Speaker
It's not a cute look.
00:18:21
Speaker
Yeah, Graham looked right into the camera and said, I do not like this for us.
00:18:27
Speaker
No, exactly.
00:18:28
Speaker
Um...
00:18:31
Speaker
We come to, which one is this?
00:18:33
Speaker
Chapter four.
00:18:35
Speaker
They're leaving the court.
00:18:36
Speaker
We get this funny moment because the difference between Graham and Valinace is basically that Graham is like of the people.
00:18:43
Speaker
He's like, he's the rural guy.
00:18:46
Speaker
He's like, he's still, he's still, he's the W.
00:18:48
Speaker
Like he still, he wants to sit out back and have a beer with you.
00:18:51
Speaker
He's like, I'll have a beer with you.
00:18:53
Speaker
I'll have a beer with you.
00:18:54
Speaker
Hey, welcome to Daventry.
00:18:57
Speaker
Says that guy.
00:18:59
Speaker
And then somebody throws his shoe at him.
00:19:01
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:19:02
Speaker
Rightfully so.
00:19:03
Speaker
And Valenice is like, she was raised in the, you know, the courts and the royal world.
00:19:12
Speaker
And so we get a lot of ribbing of like all the official, the king.
00:19:16
Speaker
has left the courtyard kind of stuff that gets declared.
00:19:19
Speaker
Right.
00:19:19
Speaker
And Graham is like rolling his eyes and she's like, oh, you love it.
00:19:23
Speaker
You love this.
00:19:24
Speaker
You love it.
00:19:26
Speaker
So Graham has got to get ready for his adventure.
00:19:28
Speaker
We get, now we've talked a lot on this show about weapons porn.
00:19:34
Speaker
Yes.
00:19:35
Speaker
We've talked about world building porn, you know, all kinds of little porn moments of like just paragraphs of what the person is wearing or something specialized to get the people all hot and bothered.
00:19:50
Speaker
We get what I can only call clothing porn here.
00:19:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:55
Speaker
We get all the details of what Graham is putting on.
00:19:58
Speaker
Like we get, we get to know his pants and he's got any, and he takes out some shirts and you know, it got out a second pair of pants because you never know.
00:20:07
Speaker
And, uh, and, and he's got some socks and, and just cause, cause you, you know, you're walking on your feet.
00:20:12
Speaker
You need socks.
00:20:13
Speaker
Don't wear wet socks.
00:20:14
Speaker
Kids.
00:20:15
Speaker
Don't wear wet socks.
00:20:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:17
Speaker
Let me tell you socks.
00:20:19
Speaker
The most important thing, if you're going to be walking for a long time, uh, cross country, uh, socks and shoes, you're, you're going to burn through your shoes, you know?
00:20:28
Speaker
Oh yeah.
00:20:29
Speaker
Oh yeah.
00:20:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:30
Speaker
Take care of those.
00:20:31
Speaker
Cause they take care of your feet.
00:20:32
Speaker
Uh, we find out about, uh, we got, oh, we get all the details about this wool jerkin he's wearing and what kind of wool it is and how it's dyed and all that.
00:20:41
Speaker
It's talks about the sheep and, and yeah, yeah.
00:20:45
Speaker
Were they well treated?
00:20:47
Speaker
It's a whole thing.
00:20:50
Speaker
So we get a lot of that, and it just cracked me up.
00:20:54
Speaker
Again, at this point, I'm still really very pleased because this feels very King's Quest.
00:21:01
Speaker
There's a big focus on kind of the mundane here that you might not see in other games or in other books based on games.
00:21:11
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:21:12
Speaker
Uh, so he heads out, uh, to, to, you know, go on this quest and, uh, he can't talk his wife out of coming.
00:21:19
Speaker
She's, she's going to come.
00:21:21
Speaker
Uh, uh, you know, she, her, her maid, uh, kind of goes, she calls it a daft idea.
00:21:28
Speaker
And, uh, and Graham kind of tests her a little bit.
00:21:30
Speaker
He's just like, how dare you talk to your queen like that?
00:21:33
Speaker
And she's like, oh, I'm sorry.
00:21:35
Speaker
I'm nothing but a scullery.
00:21:36
Speaker
My place don't hurt me.
00:21:38
Speaker
He's just like, girl,
00:21:40
Speaker
Girl, I'm fucking with you.
00:21:42
Speaker
Everyone chill the shit out.
00:21:45
Speaker
And the dirt beneath your feet do not.
00:21:50
Speaker
You wouldn't raise your arm to break a cricket, would you?
00:21:53
Speaker
Oh, Lord.
00:21:55
Speaker
I'm coming to heaven, Jesus.
00:21:57
Speaker
It's that kind of thing.
00:22:00
Speaker
But we get that moment.
00:22:02
Speaker
Those are the exact words.
00:22:03
Speaker
Don't look it up.
00:22:04
Speaker
It's fine.
00:22:05
Speaker
It's fine.
00:22:06
Speaker
It's fine.
00:22:08
Speaker
Yeah, so they go to the stables to get their horses.
00:22:12
Speaker
The queen, he's seen her... This is a detail I thought was kind of funny and interesting.
00:22:18
Speaker
He's seen her wear a side saddle, and he's seen her wear what they call a split skirt, which I assumed was like...
00:22:29
Speaker
hammer pants, like where you put your legs together and it looks like a dress.
00:22:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:33
Speaker
You know, but it's just, you know, it's a skirt, a split so you could ride.
00:22:37
Speaker
Right.
00:22:38
Speaker
But she's wearing pants and it's kind of shocking to him.
00:22:41
Speaker
He's never seen her wear pants before.
00:22:42
Speaker
He says, where did you get those pants?
00:22:44
Speaker
And she said, they're yours.
00:22:46
Speaker
So that tells you what kind of a slim, hipped young man Graham is.
00:22:50
Speaker
He could share his clothing with his hot, hot wife, who is actually taller than him.
00:22:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:58
Speaker
So nothing wrong with that.
00:23:00
Speaker
Nothing wrong with that.
00:23:01
Speaker
But yeah, she is.
00:23:02
Speaker
She's hot and tall.
00:23:04
Speaker
And that's that's all you really need to know about.
00:23:07
Speaker
Yeah, that's I mean, that's that's it.
00:23:08
Speaker
That's her whole personality, really.
00:23:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:11
Speaker
And she's rich.
00:23:12
Speaker
She's hot, tall and rich, which is which is pretty good.
00:23:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:17
Speaker
So they are, they head out through the village outside of Daventry.
00:23:23
Speaker
They run into the seer, who is your standard issue default crazy old man speaking riddles.
00:23:33
Speaker
You're like, I'll have chicken legs and a yellow tail.
00:23:37
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:38
Speaker
And it's like, that's interesting.
00:23:40
Speaker
Seer.
00:23:40
Speaker
Thank you for telling me.
00:23:42
Speaker
Oh, thank you.
00:23:43
Speaker
Thank you.
00:23:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:45
Speaker
I am speaking of the now, not of the future.
00:23:50
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:23:51
Speaker
My name used to be shit house.
00:23:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:56
Speaker
That's fun.
00:23:57
Speaker
That's a fun name.
00:23:58
Speaker
Is that French?
00:24:01
Speaker
And you humor him.
00:24:02
Speaker
Good name.
00:24:02
Speaker
Good change.
00:24:03
Speaker
Yeah, it's a good change.
00:24:07
Speaker
that movie.
00:24:08
Speaker
Oh, they it's it's and you and you humor him because you don't you figure he's got a sharpened toothbrush somewhere on him.
00:24:16
Speaker
He will stab you.
00:24:17
Speaker
Richard Lewis.
00:24:17
Speaker
I forgot Richard Lewis died and I got bummed.
00:24:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:21
Speaker
I remember when he died.
00:24:22
Speaker
He was he was one of my genuine when he died.
00:24:26
Speaker
I really was like, he's still alive.
00:24:27
Speaker
Like I. Yeah, true.
00:24:29
Speaker
He was like, he's probably given him.
00:24:32
Speaker
He probably should have died a while ago, but no, he was still alive.
00:24:35
Speaker
He was a wonderful man.
00:24:36
Speaker
He started to look like a real ghoul by the end of it.
00:24:39
Speaker
He just, he wasn't, the last 20 or 30 years of his life were not his hot period.
00:24:46
Speaker
Prince, you know, Men in Tights is probably his hot period.
00:24:50
Speaker
His, yeah, peak.
00:24:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:55
Speaker
So they're riding out to the woods and they are in the middle of a blizzard and they have no idea where they're going.
00:25:04
Speaker
So they're following this elk rider whose name is, it's like Jalilia.
00:25:11
Speaker
There's like...
00:25:12
Speaker
Extra eyes and an apostrophe.
00:25:14
Speaker
The fairy names are optional, I'll say.
00:25:16
Speaker
You don't have to try to say them if you don't want to.
00:25:20
Speaker
I know.
00:25:21
Speaker
It was right in front of me.
00:25:24
Speaker
They're just a mess of vowels in there.
00:25:28
Speaker
It's unnecessary.
00:25:31
Speaker
Vowels and apostrophes.
00:25:32
Speaker
You know.
00:25:35
Speaker
But yeah, it's totally unnecessary.
00:25:39
Speaker
So that's chapter five.
00:25:41
Speaker
Chapter six, they start making their way to the woods.
00:25:47
Speaker
Really interesting detail, because the fairy has magic that keeps the snow from the blizzard off of them, but does nothing for the cold and the wind, which I got a real kick out of, because I was like...
00:26:03
Speaker
Snow ain't your problem.
00:26:04
Speaker
Like, you're just trying to avoid getting wet, I suppose.
00:26:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:10
Speaker
But that's that's that's hilarious.
00:26:12
Speaker
That's
Mystical Tests and Quests
00:26:12
Speaker
that's not it's not really all that helpful, which if that's on purpose is very appropriate because the Fae are well, they're pretty unhelpful.
00:26:23
Speaker
They're largely unhelpful.
00:26:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:26
Speaker
Honestly, if this did not have climatological impacts, I would say that Graham shouldn't get involved because they're just really fucking annoying.
00:26:37
Speaker
They're very annoying.
00:26:39
Speaker
Case in point, they make it to the old woods and they're going through and basically the instructions are like, follow me close because you guys are humans and if you step off the path or go something like you will be gone forever.
00:26:52
Speaker
You will never find your way out of here.
00:26:54
Speaker
You will die here.
00:26:56
Speaker
tight.
00:26:57
Speaker
Great.
00:26:58
Speaker
Yeah, they're doing that.
00:26:59
Speaker
And after that nice warning, our fairy friend starts whistling this tune.
00:27:09
Speaker
And the longer he whistles the tune, the more Graham starts to think, I'm doing great.
00:27:14
Speaker
Great.
00:27:16
Speaker
This is awesome.
00:27:17
Speaker
I feel fantastic.
00:27:19
Speaker
It's like he's on Molly.
00:27:20
Speaker
And at one point he suddenly is just like, I'm going to run off into the woods.
00:27:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:27:25
Speaker
That'll be fun.
00:27:26
Speaker
My face.
00:27:26
Speaker
You ever touch my face?
00:27:28
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:27:30
Speaker
You guys seen carpeting before?
00:27:32
Speaker
Holy shit.
00:27:32
Speaker
That actually probably would blow their minds.
00:27:36
Speaker
But so it's, it's, and, and like, and Valenice like,
00:27:42
Speaker
stops him or something.
00:27:43
Speaker
It's like, it's very little people kind of, again, very, very dangerous Fae kind of thing.
00:27:49
Speaker
And you get another reminder, basically, how unsafe these things are.
00:27:53
Speaker
He wasn't gonna let him, we were only trying to drown her, it's that kind of thing.
00:27:58
Speaker
He wasn't going to necessarily let him go too far, but the fact that
00:28:03
Speaker
this guy has that much power over him just through dint of whistling is kind of insane.
00:28:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:09
Speaker
Um, we find out that Valenice has a very similar, her name is very similar to a Fae word, um, which basically translates to, they were like, it's the word that means, uh, that tells the grass to bend instead of standing up to the wind.
00:28:28
Speaker
Uh, it's like, it's the words basically like common sense, uh,
00:28:33
Speaker
You know, like knowing when to give, knowing when to yield, which kind of a kind of a mixed bag, that name.
00:28:43
Speaker
On one hand, it's like you've got common sense.
00:28:44
Speaker
On the other hand, it's like you're kind of a puss.
00:28:47
Speaker
If you take it that way, she doesn't.
00:28:52
Speaker
She's actually she's she's actually kind of interested.
00:28:54
Speaker
She wants to learn more about the Fae language based on that.
00:29:00
Speaker
So this is a very important moment.
00:29:02
Speaker
They find the veil, basically.
00:29:05
Speaker
There's this part of the old woods that the fairy's like, okay, we're going to walk through here.
00:29:10
Speaker
Right.
00:29:12
Speaker
maybe you can walk through here.
00:29:14
Speaker
Maybe you can't.
00:29:15
Speaker
You'll be tested.
00:29:16
Speaker
And he's talking to Graham specifically.
00:29:17
Speaker
He says, you're going to be tested.
00:29:19
Speaker
Your wife is so hot that the force is just going to let her through.
00:29:23
Speaker
She, like, I'm going to tell you right now, your wife is a stone cold 10.
00:29:30
Speaker
And it's like the bouncer at a club who was only letting...
00:29:35
Speaker
like women in and like you're there and the bouncer's like she can go in.
00:29:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:43
Speaker
She can.
00:29:44
Speaker
She's good.
00:29:45
Speaker
And that's essentially what he says.
00:29:46
Speaker
And she drinks for free.
00:29:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:48
Speaker
That's essentially what he says actually.
00:29:50
Speaker
You're paying double.
00:29:52
Speaker
You might.
00:29:53
Speaker
And he says, Graham, you might.
00:29:54
Speaker
They might.
00:29:55
Speaker
It might let you in.
00:29:56
Speaker
It might not.
00:29:58
Speaker
It's going to test you.
00:29:59
Speaker
But if it doesn't let you in, you just stay the fuck right here.
00:30:03
Speaker
Just stand right here.
00:30:04
Speaker
Just stand right here.
00:30:05
Speaker
Don't go anywhere.
00:30:07
Speaker
Don't do anything.
00:30:11
Speaker
Do not masturbate behind a tree.
00:30:14
Speaker
Don't do any of those things.
00:30:15
Speaker
We can still see you.
00:30:16
Speaker
So don't do it.
00:30:19
Speaker
Okay, so maybe do it.
00:30:20
Speaker
But don't.
00:30:21
Speaker
And it angers the owl bears.
00:30:27
Speaker
And the bear owls.
00:30:28
Speaker
Yeah, the bear owls, especially.
00:30:29
Speaker
Why?
00:30:32
Speaker
Who's cum did I come from?
00:30:39
Speaker
For those of you who aren't listening to Rude Tales of Magic, I'm going back to it and re-listening to the first season that's just every bit as good as I remember it.
00:30:47
Speaker
And Flip Cup!
00:30:49
Speaker
Flip Cup.
00:30:50
Speaker
We'll die for Flip Cup.
00:30:51
Speaker
I'm part of Flip Cup's army.
00:30:54
Speaker
Should I be killing people?
00:30:56
Speaker
So good.
00:30:59
Speaker
So we get to, so she doesn't even have to roll to save, basically, going through this veil.
00:31:05
Speaker
So the fairy goes through, she goes through, and Graham starts to go through.
00:31:09
Speaker
And Graham starts to experience this, like, he, taking a step requires, like, all the willpower in the world for him.
00:31:18
Speaker
He's, like, gritting his teeth and forcing himself to get through.
00:31:20
Speaker
And this is the test I'm sure they were talking about.
00:31:23
Speaker
Fortunately, he's just...
00:31:25
Speaker
just so goddamn royal and stubborn, frankly, that he pushes his way through it, makes his way into this courtyard where there's the first fairy and his wife and this... It's the king.
00:31:43
Speaker
It's the king of the old wood.
00:31:44
Speaker
The king of the old wood.
00:31:46
Speaker
The fairy, the fae king of the old wood.
00:31:49
Speaker
Yeah, and he looks like he's 13 or 14 years old, but he carries himself in a different way.
00:31:55
Speaker
And we'll find out later that he's, like, old as shit, that he's, like, thousands of years old.
00:32:01
Speaker
But he just resembles a 13-year-old, which, okay, we'll just leave it at that.
00:32:08
Speaker
And he introduces himself.
00:32:09
Speaker
And as he introduces himself... There's some real problematic stuff in, like, anime.
00:32:13
Speaker
Woo!
00:32:14
Speaker
with that.
00:32:15
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:32:17
Speaker
Think about it like that.
00:32:19
Speaker
She's actually thousands of years old.
00:32:21
Speaker
Yeah, no, it's fun.
00:32:22
Speaker
It's like, but she's not real, is she?
00:32:29
Speaker
We're moving on!
00:32:30
Speaker
Moving on.
Seasons and Quest Motivation
00:32:33
Speaker
That's pretty much it.
00:32:35
Speaker
And so as Graham, as the introductions are being made, Graham passes out.
00:32:40
Speaker
And you're kind of led to think that this is an effect maybe from the test and everything like that.
00:32:46
Speaker
But as chapter seven opens up, you find out that humans can't observe the king, like, directly.
00:32:53
Speaker
Exactly.
00:32:54
Speaker
You can't look at him because his beauty and his glamour will cause you to pass the shit out.
00:33:01
Speaker
Valenice knew this, by the way.
00:33:03
Speaker
She already knew it.
00:33:03
Speaker
She was like, I'm sorry.
00:33:05
Speaker
I'm sorry.
00:33:06
Speaker
I'm sure it's holding you like, you know, hot people can't.
00:33:09
Speaker
Like, I'm hot and he's hot.
00:33:11
Speaker
We can look at each other, but you can't look at him.
00:33:16
Speaker
Hot people can look at each other and it's fine.
00:33:18
Speaker
So the power of the king's beauty knocked Graham out.
00:33:22
Speaker
Right on his ass.
00:33:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:25
Speaker
So the king explains the situation to them.
00:33:29
Speaker
His wife, who is the queen of the Old Woods, she is basically the embodiment of spring.
00:33:35
Speaker
And since she has been kidnapped from her special courtyard hiding place, I guess, spring is gone.
00:33:43
Speaker
And that's, there's no, it'll stay winter.
00:33:48
Speaker
As the king says, like, well, maybe it'll stay for eons.
00:33:50
Speaker
Maybe it'll, maybe it'll, I don't know, but it's,
00:33:52
Speaker
You guys will be dead.
00:33:54
Speaker
We'll be fine probably.
00:33:55
Speaker
But I miss my wife.
00:33:57
Speaker
And they're pretty frank about that.
00:33:59
Speaker
They even point out, they're like, we measure time in eons.
00:34:04
Speaker
You guys have this limited little life.
00:34:06
Speaker
It's like they're making fun of mayflies, basically.
00:34:09
Speaker
Our plans are measured in centuries.
00:34:11
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly.
00:34:13
Speaker
So, and I mean, it's kind of smart because it's like, actually, I do want this done as fast as possible.
00:34:18
Speaker
What do you do?
00:34:18
Speaker
You hire someone who counts their age in seconds because you know, chop, chop.
00:34:23
Speaker
Yeah, they're going to get on it.
00:34:25
Speaker
They're going to get on it.
00:34:26
Speaker
We might like accidentally slip and like waste a few years just walking around and...
00:34:32
Speaker
shooting the shit, but you guys.
00:34:35
Speaker
You guys, you don't have that luxury, so please take care of this for me.
00:34:40
Speaker
As he's explaining what happens, he tells them about the imps.
00:34:43
Speaker
He basically gives them the info on chapter one.
00:34:46
Speaker
The imps came in, killed a bunch of fairies, took my wife, and he brings in
00:34:51
Speaker
one of the fairy handmaidens.
00:34:56
Speaker
Most fucked up scene.
00:34:57
Speaker
This is really brutal.
00:34:59
Speaker
He brings in the fairy handmaiden and she like informs them on what happened.
00:35:03
Speaker
And he's like, yeah, and your mistress is gone and a bunch of your friends are dead and you're still alive.
00:35:11
Speaker
Seems kind of fucked up, right?
00:35:13
Speaker
And she's like, totally fucked up.
00:35:14
Speaker
It totally, she's very.
00:35:16
Speaker
My bad.
00:35:17
Speaker
Yeah, honestly, I should have died with them.
00:35:18
Speaker
And he's like, well, that means you got to die too.
00:35:21
Speaker
But because you brought us this information, instead, I'm just going to turn you into a vine.
00:35:31
Speaker
And you're just going to creep along the trees as a vine.
00:35:34
Speaker
And maybe my wife will turn you back.
00:35:37
Speaker
Yeah, if she feels like it's worth it to her.
00:35:39
Speaker
If she comes back alive, she might turn you back.
00:35:42
Speaker
And if she doesn't, you live as a vine and try to grow as best as you can.
00:35:49
Speaker
And I was like, Jesus Christ.
00:35:51
Speaker
Right.
00:35:53
Speaker
And the thing is, the fairy's like, yeah, you got to do what you got to do.
00:35:55
Speaker
I get it.
00:35:56
Speaker
Thanks.
00:35:57
Speaker
She's basically Ralph Fiennes at the end of In Bruges.
00:36:00
Speaker
It's like, oh, you got to live by your code.
00:36:02
Speaker
I got to watch that again.
00:36:07
Speaker
I haven't seen it in years.
00:36:10
Speaker
One of the last books I read takes place almost entirely in Bruges.
00:36:13
Speaker
That's amazing.
00:36:14
Speaker
Yeah, I've got to read that again.
00:36:16
Speaker
It's really picturesque.
00:36:18
Speaker
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
00:36:20
Speaker
Isn't that what they keep saying?
00:36:21
Speaker
I'm trying to remember what they're... Yeah, they just keep going on about how gorgeous it was, and Colin Farrell just couldn't give a shit.
00:36:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:29
Speaker
So basically we get our, now we get our quest.
00:36:33
Speaker
So the king, the king himself, the king of the old wood, he can't leave the forest because he's the embodiment of the forest.
00:36:41
Speaker
So if he leaves the forest, it dies, he dies, everyone dies.
00:36:45
Speaker
Right.
00:36:46
Speaker
And any of the fae that live, they all live within the old woods, the further away from the old woods they get, the weaker they become.
00:36:54
Speaker
And so they're basically useless at that point.
00:36:56
Speaker
So we need one of you humans who are just absolutely
00:36:59
Speaker
average no matter where you are.
00:37:02
Speaker
That would be very helpful.
00:37:03
Speaker
Yeah, and the character select screen, there's no bonuses, but there's also no detriments.
00:37:12
Speaker
There's nothing really against them.
00:37:14
Speaker
Two-star power, two-star speed, two-star control.
00:37:18
Speaker
No big deal.
00:37:19
Speaker
This human will get you where you want to go.
00:37:22
Speaker
Exactly.
00:37:22
Speaker
Exactly.
00:37:24
Speaker
So Graham's got to go save the queen and in doing so save his own kingdom.
00:37:31
Speaker
So, yeah, we cut to a short chapter, chapter eight.
00:37:37
Speaker
Oh, and one of the, by the way, one of the things I just wanted to mention was that like he mentioned, so Valenice can't go with them, right?
00:37:45
Speaker
Yes, yes.
00:37:46
Speaker
But also it mentions that like, oh yeah, by the way, we did like a time stop.
00:37:51
Speaker
So when you leave the veil, it'll be as like the moment that you entered it, you'll leave the veil.
00:37:58
Speaker
And I was like, but had we not done this, it could have been like 100 years later.
00:38:03
Speaker
When you cross the veil.
00:38:04
Speaker
And I was like, something about, so this is one of those things in science fiction, it usually, it really gets me existential and deep into my brain is when you talk time dilation.
00:38:19
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:38:20
Speaker
And I always appreciate, like the one thing I liked about the Dark Souls novel, if I'm giving it one thing, is the random time dilation that happened in that book.
00:38:31
Speaker
I forgot about that part, yeah.
00:38:32
Speaker
Where it's like they go on a quest and they're in a city and they leave the city and 500 years have passed, even though no time, it was like a day had passed for them.
00:38:43
Speaker
And it's like, it was just like the time was just going all over the place.
00:38:50
Speaker
And time dilation in a fantasy setting like that is really fascinating.
00:38:57
Speaker
But also, like, it doesn't even happen here.
00:39:01
Speaker
But the fact that it's mentioned, I was like, oh.
00:39:05
Speaker
Well, it's just one more example of how dangerous these people are.
00:39:09
Speaker
Right.
00:39:10
Speaker
You know, the level of control they have.
00:39:13
Speaker
So it's like, at one point, Graham thinks to himself, he's like, I don't really have much of a choice, not just for the sake of my own kingdom, but because like...
00:39:21
Speaker
what am I going to do?
00:39:21
Speaker
Tell these people no?
00:39:23
Speaker
It's out of my hands at this point.
00:39:26
Speaker
And it's true.
00:39:27
Speaker
These beings are incredibly powerful, which makes you wonder how some pissant little imps could come and steal the queen away.
00:39:34
Speaker
But really makes you wonder how the imps just kind of like sauntered in there, smoke bombed the queen and took her away.
00:39:42
Speaker
Singing where there's a whip, there's a way.
00:39:44
Speaker
They just like let themselves in.
00:39:46
Speaker
And yeah, it's it's it's
00:39:48
Speaker
But you know what?
00:39:49
Speaker
It's fine.
00:39:50
Speaker
Moving on.
00:39:50
Speaker
You know what?
00:39:51
Speaker
We didn't think about that until just now.
00:39:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:56
Speaker
It's fine.
00:39:57
Speaker
It's fine.
00:39:58
Speaker
Moving on.
00:39:58
Speaker
So we cut to chapter eight, which brings us back to the queen of spring.
00:40:03
Speaker
She
Imps' Plan and Seasonal Alterations
00:40:04
Speaker
is in a cage and the imps are basically forcing her to sing for them.
00:40:10
Speaker
So she sings sad songs for them and, and, and,
00:40:15
Speaker
They love it.
00:40:16
Speaker
They're thrilled.
00:40:17
Speaker
They have no... They're clearly not an artistic people, so the idea of any song at all is thrilling to them.
00:40:26
Speaker
And we find out then, now the imps are from a place called the Sorrowing Court, which I feel like the name in and of itself tells you everything you need to know.
00:40:34
Speaker
Probably a pretty bummer-esque place.
00:40:37
Speaker
And she hears them talking about that they're going to take her to the Sorrowing Court to make it spring forever.
00:40:43
Speaker
Right.
00:40:44
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:40:46
Speaker
So clearly what it is is that they're sick of... Well, that's going to fuck up the wine.
00:40:49
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:50
Speaker
Oh, God.
00:40:50
Speaker
Big time.
00:40:51
Speaker
Big time.
00:40:51
Speaker
They haven't thought this through.
00:40:54
Speaker
And imps never do, if we're being honest with ourselves here.
00:40:57
Speaker
Imps never do.
00:40:57
Speaker
I don't know why I'm surprised.
00:41:02
Speaker
So we cut to chapter nine, and this is where they make their way to the edge of the woods, and this is where Graham's talking about, like, this seems like a small place, and they're like, yeah, I know, it seems like a small place.
00:41:17
Speaker
It's fucking huge, though.
00:41:18
Speaker
It's a telephone booth.
00:41:19
Speaker
So it's- Bigger on the inside.
00:41:26
Speaker
Bigger on the inside, exactly.
00:41:28
Speaker
So Graham is making his way towards the Glass Mountains, and he meets Shallan, who is a bard.
00:41:37
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:38
Speaker
He's a bard, singing songs.
00:41:40
Speaker
They decide to team up, and as they go, it's a friendlier version of The Witcher TV show with the bard, who's just singing everywhere they go.
00:41:53
Speaker
Now, in the book, it uses a term.
00:41:58
Speaker
In the book, it says minstrel.
00:42:00
Speaker
It does, yes.
00:42:01
Speaker
I would refer to him as a bard because minstrel has two, like, the connotations with the word minstrel.
00:42:08
Speaker
Even though that is, like, quote, unquote, technically they are correct.
00:42:12
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:42:13
Speaker
But it's got a...
00:42:15
Speaker
The problem is Minstrel has definition number dos.
00:42:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:19
Speaker
Definition number two is really fucking bad.
00:42:22
Speaker
So let's – we'll just stick with Bard.
00:42:24
Speaker
We'll stick with Bard.
00:42:25
Speaker
And that's specific to our country.
00:42:28
Speaker
I don't know if that has the same connotations.
00:42:29
Speaker
I don't know about anywhere else, but in the United States, it's not like –
00:42:34
Speaker
necessarily quote unquote the best yeah I come from Phil comes from the south where and my granddad performed in those oh no oh gosh is this on the colonel side no actually oh okay no it's from the side you wouldn't expect it okay so yeah yeah yeah fair enough
00:43:04
Speaker
So they're moving.
00:43:05
Speaker
We get some nice rapport building with them.
00:43:10
Speaker
He's singing songs, and after a while, Graham recognizes the chorus, and he's singing along with them.
00:43:16
Speaker
It's very nice.
00:43:18
Speaker
Finally, they end up at a river.
00:43:22
Speaker
And there is a ferry there that crosses the river, but it is just swarmed with imps.
00:43:27
Speaker
Ferry, S-E-R-R-Y.
00:43:29
Speaker
Yes, yeah, different ferry, different ferry.
00:43:32
Speaker
Ferryman.
00:43:34
Speaker
So yeah, but the area is swarmed with imps.
00:43:38
Speaker
So chapter 10 opens with them kind of like the bard is like, are these the ones you're looking for?
00:43:46
Speaker
And he goes like that because that would be really that would be super easy.
00:43:50
Speaker
You know, it'd be a one and done kind of situation.
00:43:53
Speaker
It is not as far as Graham can tell anyway, because he can't see the kidnapped cross.
00:43:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:19
Speaker
But we paid for 12.
00:44:22
Speaker
We paid for 12.
00:44:24
Speaker
We paid for 12.
00:44:25
Speaker
And they don't say, like, Bob and Mac are over on the other side.
00:44:31
Speaker
No, they're just like, there should be two more of us.
00:44:35
Speaker
They don't really know each other.
00:44:37
Speaker
Yeah, that's right.
00:44:39
Speaker
The imps are really closer to goblins in...
00:44:44
Speaker
in a lot of other, like, I would say Warhammer or Dungeons and Dragons or whatever.
00:44:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:55
Speaker
Because they're less concerned with the actual uniqueness of the other characters
00:45:05
Speaker
goblins and more about their numbers.
00:45:10
Speaker
Which is, going back to Rude Tales, is a huge thing in Rude Tales of Magic as they
00:45:16
Speaker
as they get further into the campaign and dealing with them.
00:45:19
Speaker
There's like goblin characters and stuff like that.
00:45:22
Speaker
But yeah, no, that's, it's, it's a, it's a really neat detail.
00:45:26
Speaker
It's a good moment.
00:45:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:28
Speaker
And so, and the ferry man's like, well, I don't see those guys over there.
00:45:31
Speaker
And they're like, okay, well then you owe us two fares.
00:45:33
Speaker
He's like, no free, no refunds.
00:45:35
Speaker
And, and reveals this, like, we don't get a lot of detail, but it's like a blue muzzle.
00:45:41
Speaker
That it's clearly his mouth filled with razor sharp teeth.
00:45:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:46
Speaker
And they're like, oh.
00:45:47
Speaker
It's like a knot here or something like that.
00:45:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:51
Speaker
And the Ems are like, oh, this isn't fucking worth it.
00:45:53
Speaker
And they just, they beat feet.
00:45:55
Speaker
They get the hell out of there.
00:45:57
Speaker
So Graham and Shallan, I think, yeah, Shallan, approach the ferryman.
00:46:05
Speaker
And they say, how much to go across?
00:46:07
Speaker
And the ferryman's like, what do you got?
00:46:09
Speaker
And in a very King's Quest game moment, Graham has a ring and he says, how about this?
00:46:15
Speaker
And the ferryman says, yeah, sure, that'll do it.
00:46:17
Speaker
And he goes, and I'd like the answer to a question, please.
00:46:21
Speaker
And they're like, OK, fine, that'll buy you an answer.
00:46:25
Speaker
So they're traveling across the river.
00:46:28
Speaker
And Graham asks if, he says, you know, because basically through the conversation, you find out, the conversation the imps had with the ferryman, you find out he, they were trying to escape the Sauron court.
00:46:43
Speaker
They are not cool with everything that's going on there.
00:46:45
Speaker
They want to get the hell out.
00:46:47
Speaker
So we know that where we want to go is on the other side of the river.
00:46:51
Speaker
So we want to go where they just left.
00:46:53
Speaker
So as they're crossing, Graham says, you know, other imps must have come by here and they had a woman with them.
00:47:00
Speaker
Did do you remember that?
00:47:01
Speaker
And Ferryman's like, oh, yeah, totally.
00:47:02
Speaker
Totally.
00:47:03
Speaker
Yeah, that happened.
00:47:04
Speaker
That happened.
00:47:05
Speaker
That totally happened.
00:47:06
Speaker
And he tries to get some more questions out of him.
00:47:07
Speaker
Ferryman's like, no, you didn't pay for that.
00:47:10
Speaker
You didn't pay for that.
00:47:11
Speaker
And it's like you get the real impression.
00:47:14
Speaker
Like, but don't push this guy.
00:47:20
Speaker
No, no, no, no, no.
00:47:22
Speaker
He's not a ferryman by choice.
00:47:24
Speaker
He got kicked out of some place for doing awful things.
00:47:28
Speaker
He is like fucking cursed to do this or something.
00:47:30
Speaker
Exactly.
00:47:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:47:31
Speaker
Don't push him.
00:47:32
Speaker
The gods did this.
00:47:34
Speaker
It's not great.
00:47:36
Speaker
So they make their way across and they're in this thorny wood area and it's interesting detail.
00:47:43
Speaker
Basically, everywhere you go, you're getting stabbed by the thorns.
00:47:46
Speaker
There's nothing you can do.
00:47:47
Speaker
No matter how careful you are, you're getting stuck with thorns.
00:47:51
Speaker
And Graham is just sick of it.
00:47:53
Speaker
And they set up camp.
00:47:56
Speaker
And Shallan is singing.
00:47:57
Speaker
So we get this moment where Shallan sings these sad songs that Graham relates with in one way or the other, like makes him think of his wife or something like that.
00:48:05
Speaker
And he weeps and he's telling him like, you have got to stop singing these songs.
00:48:13
Speaker
I'm a king.
00:48:13
Speaker
I can't be made to cry.
00:48:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:48:17
Speaker
Yeah, at this, which makes me think that there might be more to Shallan than... Yeah, and Shallan was like, you know what, it tells me you're a good guy, you know, that you're able to, you're not like, you're not some, you know, psychopath that is, just has no emotion.
00:48:32
Speaker
You're in touch with your feelings.
00:48:35
Speaker
Right.
00:48:35
Speaker
Which is honestly the best assessment of Graham as you can get.
00:48:41
Speaker
I would say Graham is like the Superman of point-and-click games.
00:48:46
Speaker
Not because he's invincible or anything like that, but because he's just led by this unshakable moral code.
00:48:54
Speaker
He's about as lawful good as it gets.
00:48:56
Speaker
And so that's a pretty good assessment of the situation.
00:49:01
Speaker
So as they're sitting there...
00:49:03
Speaker
Shallan is singing and Graham is trying to burn some sticks without stabbing himself.
00:49:08
Speaker
We hear these two voices demanding that the bard sing again, sing, sing again.
00:49:15
Speaker
Sing for me!
00:49:17
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:49:18
Speaker
And Shallan just, ah, hits the high note.
00:49:21
Speaker
Ah, ah, ah.
00:49:25
Speaker
And then Graham comes in with a guitar solo, just whee!
00:49:30
Speaker
My angel of music.
00:49:33
Speaker
A very different book, but I think would be worth writing.
00:49:36
Speaker
Did you know that there was a sequel to Phantom of the Opera?
00:49:39
Speaker
Oh, yes.
00:49:40
Speaker
Oh, gosh.
00:49:41
Speaker
I was listening to something.
00:49:43
Speaker
It is bad.
00:49:44
Speaker
Yeah, I was listening to something with Jesse Cox in it.
00:49:48
Speaker
It was either one of his podcasts or Scary Game Squad or something.
00:49:52
Speaker
And he goes, he says to the other guys, like, did you know that there was a sequel to The Phantom of the Opera?
00:49:57
Speaker
Love Never Dies.
00:49:59
Speaker
And they're like, what?
00:50:01
Speaker
No.
00:50:01
Speaker
And he goes, yeah, it's atrocious.
00:50:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:50:05
Speaker
I forget what his greater point was.
00:50:07
Speaker
He was like making a reference to what was happening on the screen.
00:50:10
Speaker
If you get a chance, Lindsay Ellis made a video about it.
00:50:15
Speaker
The play is called Love Never Dies, and Lindsay Ellis is this dyed-in-the-wool fandom fanatic.
00:50:20
Speaker
And it is a hilarious and very insightful video.
00:50:26
Speaker
Yeah, and it's like the play is about like...
00:50:31
Speaker
a friend of Christine who is obsessed with the story or something like that?
00:50:35
Speaker
No, no, no.
00:50:36
Speaker
It's about, it's about Christine and her husband and the kid come to America.
00:50:42
Speaker
They've come to New York city and that's where the phantom is for some reason.
00:50:46
Speaker
And you find out somehow that the kid is the phantom's kid because one time,
00:50:54
Speaker
In a moment that we were never told about, they banged just one time.
00:50:59
Speaker
And so the kid plays chopsticks.
00:51:03
Speaker
And so the Phantom's like, he's a genius.
00:51:05
Speaker
He must be my kid.
00:51:06
Speaker
And that's, it's very stupid.
00:51:11
Speaker
I like that collectively.
00:51:14
Speaker
I have been, I listen off and on.
00:51:17
Speaker
Like, okay, so story time.
00:51:20
Speaker
I had a...
00:51:23
Speaker
Jeep Grand Cherokee that I was like, my dad had given it to me because he got a new car and that was the car that I drove in college.
00:51:33
Speaker
I love those cars.
00:51:34
Speaker
And it was in, it had a CD player, but the CDs weren't loaded in the console.
00:51:41
Speaker
They were loaded in the trunk.
00:51:43
Speaker
Like there's like a rack where you put in six CDs and you closed it up and it was red from like the trunk or something like that.
00:51:51
Speaker
And
00:51:52
Speaker
It was the original cast album of Phantom of the Opera.
00:51:56
Speaker
So, you know, it was always in my head.
00:51:59
Speaker
Sure.
00:51:59
Speaker
Michael Crawford, man.
00:52:01
Speaker
Yeah, of course.
00:52:05
Speaker
What's her name?
00:52:06
Speaker
Who was Christine?
00:52:08
Speaker
Sarah Brightman.
00:52:08
Speaker
Sarah Brightman.
00:52:09
Speaker
That's right.
00:52:10
Speaker
Anyway, yeah, so...
00:52:15
Speaker
Fan of the opera, you know, it's something that I've listened to a thousand times at this point, right?
00:52:24
Speaker
I just like collectively that nobody really talks that much about love never dies to the point.
00:52:31
Speaker
Oh.
00:52:32
Speaker
where somebody like me who has heard the original so many times was like 40 years old before he actually heard of the atrocious sequel to
00:52:47
Speaker
Phantom of the Opera.
00:52:49
Speaker
You're absolutely right.
00:52:50
Speaker
That is how little people gave a shit or are actively angry about it.
00:52:56
Speaker
What's funny is because I'm assuming like, so it was written by Andrew Lloyd Webber, right?
00:53:01
Speaker
It was the sequel.
00:53:02
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:53:04
Speaker
All the originals.
00:53:06
Speaker
The play Phantom of the Opera is still based on
00:53:11
Speaker
Phantom of the Opera.
00:53:12
Speaker
It's just like the structure of the story was kind of there and with the... It's based on something that exists.
00:53:20
Speaker
It's based on existing property and Love Never Dies is like to me it sounded like a fan fiction continuation.
00:53:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:53:30
Speaker
I'm telling you, watch that video I mentioned because there's a whole, there's a whole background with Andrew Lloyd Webber paying some author to write, uh, uh, the sequel for it.
00:53:40
Speaker
And the guy ends up just writing as a novel and Andrew Lloyd Webber isn't exactly happy with it.
00:53:45
Speaker
And it's, it's a whole thing.
00:53:47
Speaker
It's, it's, it's hilarious.
00:53:49
Speaker
It wasn't Alan Dean Foster, was it?
00:53:51
Speaker
No, I'm afraid not.
00:53:52
Speaker
I'm afraid not.
00:53:52
Speaker
I wish, I wish we aren't that lucky.
00:53:54
Speaker
Uh,
00:53:56
Speaker
That would be amazing.
00:53:58
Speaker
Get him on the horn.
00:53:59
Speaker
We would get it.
00:53:59
Speaker
Get Alan back on the show and be like, wait a minute.
00:54:03
Speaker
Just for a bonus Phantom episode.
00:54:05
Speaker
That would be amazing.
00:54:07
Speaker
Oh, my God.
00:54:08
Speaker
I bet he would probably do a good job with that, though.
00:54:10
Speaker
So that's that's the trouble.
00:54:12
Speaker
You can't you can't hire someone who's talented.
00:54:13
Speaker
Yeah, that's dangerous.
00:54:16
Speaker
Anyway, real quick, real quick, because we're almost done.
00:54:18
Speaker
We're almost out.
00:54:18
Speaker
They're camping out.
00:54:19
Speaker
So the voices that are demanding they sing for them are these two giant spiders.
00:54:24
Speaker
Big
Encounters with Dangers and Strategy Development
00:54:25
Speaker
surprise.
00:54:27
Speaker
And they are, you know, and so Shallan's like, oh, yeah, I'll sing, sure, and sings for them, sings them happy songs because they're like, yeah, we want to hear happy songs.
00:54:37
Speaker
So he sings them some happy songs.
00:54:39
Speaker
And the spiders basically say, well, you remember those two imps that were missing from the dozen imps at the fair?
00:54:47
Speaker
We ate those guys.
00:54:49
Speaker
So we're pretty full.
00:54:52
Speaker
And since you sang for us, we're going to let you go.
00:54:55
Speaker
And Graham's like, you know what?
00:54:58
Speaker
If everything goes well, I'm going to have to pass through here on my way back.
00:55:02
Speaker
So when I do that, I'm going to need to make sure you guys are well fed, right?
00:55:05
Speaker
And they're like, yep, that would be smart.
00:55:07
Speaker
That would be a good thought.
00:55:08
Speaker
Have some food in your inventory when you come back around this way.
00:55:13
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, make that happen and you'll probably be fine.
00:55:17
Speaker
And they leave.
00:55:20
Speaker
And what I can only assume is Graham and Shallan bringing their bedrolls up to their nose and looking right and looking left for at least an hour before finally falling asleep.
00:55:36
Speaker
They make camp and they sleep.
00:55:38
Speaker
Just after that moment, you're like, what if they change their mind?
00:55:40
Speaker
No, well, I mean, I'm dead no matter what.
00:55:42
Speaker
Yeah, well, you know, giant spiders.
00:55:46
Speaker
And that's as far as we're going tonight.
00:55:49
Speaker
So that's the first 10 chapters of Kingdom of Sorrow.
00:55:53
Speaker
Kevin, what do you think so far?
00:55:55
Speaker
I like it.
00:55:56
Speaker
I like it a lot more than the other King's Quest book we read.
00:56:01
Speaker
It's got some stakes.
00:56:05
Speaker
It's got some, I feel like the way Graham is written in this is a more compelling character than Alexander was in the other one.
00:56:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:14
Speaker
And it's like, okay, here we have, here's an inciting incident and a very specific thing.
00:56:22
Speaker
I mean, the other one had that too, but it was kind of just like weird.
00:56:24
Speaker
Like, there's a floating castle and people have been kidnapped and blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:56:30
Speaker
It was like a little too...
00:56:32
Speaker
This is like, well, the queen of the fairies has been kidnapped and spring will never come back as long as that's true.
00:56:39
Speaker
So go chase down these imps that got her.
00:56:43
Speaker
Pretty straightforward.
00:56:44
Speaker
And you're going to run into crazy kooky characters along the way.
00:56:49
Speaker
Straight up fantasy, sword, sorcery type stuff with, you know, light on the sword and or sorcery.
00:56:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:58
Speaker
But yeah, no, I'm enjoying it so far.
00:57:02
Speaker
It's fine.
00:57:05
Speaker
I agree.
00:57:05
Speaker
I agree.
00:57:07
Speaker
It's an easy read.
00:57:09
Speaker
It's laid back.
00:57:10
Speaker
But I think the most important thing is that unlike the first book, this one really feels like its source material.
00:57:17
Speaker
Sure.
00:57:18
Speaker
Which is very old school, Victorian kind of fairy tale inspired.
00:57:24
Speaker
Right.
00:57:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:25
Speaker
And right off the bat, you get that.
00:57:29
Speaker
So, yeah, I'm right there with you.
00:57:31
Speaker
I think it's pretty good.
00:57:31
Speaker
It's fine.
00:57:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:33
Speaker
Well, now that we've covered that, Kevin, I only have one question that I'm legally obligated to ask you.
00:57:39
Speaker
Yes?
00:57:41
Speaker
What are you playing?
00:57:43
Speaker
Oh, okay.
00:57:44
Speaker
I was not ready for this.
00:57:47
Speaker
I know.
00:57:48
Speaker
I know I'm springing this on you.
00:57:49
Speaker
All right.
00:57:50
Speaker
So I had to double check just to make sure, but I finished since we last were on the show.
00:57:59
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:58:00
Speaker
I finished mouthwashing.
00:58:03
Speaker
Now I've texted you about it relentlessly.
00:58:06
Speaker
Because
Exploration of 'Mouthwashing' Game
00:58:07
Speaker
it's been in my brain.
00:58:08
Speaker
That one hit you.
00:58:10
Speaker
That one hit me.
00:58:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:58:12
Speaker
Mouthwashing, folks, if you haven't played mouthwashing, go ahead.
00:58:17
Speaker
Do yourself a favor and get mouthwashing.
00:58:19
Speaker
It is a horror game, but it's in a category of horror where I wouldn't call it like
00:58:30
Speaker
It's very psychological horror, right?
00:58:31
Speaker
Yes.
00:58:33
Speaker
And it plays a lot with nonlinear storytelling to eke out maximum impact for the twists and turns in the story.
00:58:42
Speaker
Oh, 100%.
00:58:43
Speaker
But it follows the few days before and the months after
00:58:50
Speaker
A freighter called the Tulpar crashes into a giant asteroid out in space as it is like two-thirds of the way through its journey to deliver something to, you know, another planet, right?
00:59:07
Speaker
So...
00:59:11
Speaker
There's five characters.
00:59:13
Speaker
There's the captain, Curly.
00:59:15
Speaker
There's his co-pilot, Jimmy.
00:59:17
Speaker
There's the nurse who is a dead ringer for Shelley Duvall.
00:59:23
Speaker
Oh, my God.
00:59:23
Speaker
I'm so glad you said that.
00:59:24
Speaker
That is absolutely Shelley Duvall.
00:59:26
Speaker
No question.
00:59:27
Speaker
Yeah, it's intentional, too.
00:59:29
Speaker
Oh, is it?
00:59:30
Speaker
Okay, good.
00:59:30
Speaker
That's good to know.
00:59:32
Speaker
Dead ringer, Anya.
00:59:34
Speaker
And then there's Daisuke, who is the intern for
00:59:38
Speaker
working for the engineer named Swansea, who is just like this gruff and burly dude who is just, you know, he's had it up to here with everything.
00:59:51
Speaker
These young punks.
00:59:53
Speaker
These young punks.
00:59:54
Speaker
But the way the game, it's only a two and a half hour game, so I don't want to give away too much, but the way the game takes you through...
01:00:08
Speaker
narrative twists and turns, but also the themes of really wild themes of responsibility, grief, guilt.
01:00:23
Speaker
And something that I see some people that don't necessarily bring up, and I'll probably talk to you once we're done recording because it's a
01:00:34
Speaker
why I think this is forgiveness.
01:00:36
Speaker
There's like some meat on the bone there about the nature of forgiveness that is not as overt as some of the other thematic elements, but goddamn, it's a good game.
01:00:58
Speaker
It's by the people who made How Fish is Made.
01:01:03
Speaker
which I didn't play, but I watched Jacob Geller make a video.
01:01:06
Speaker
Jacob Geller made a video on it.
01:01:09
Speaker
It's great.
01:01:10
Speaker
Oh, wow.
01:01:11
Speaker
It's great.
01:01:12
Speaker
I don't know what the fuck they were trying to do with it, but I loved it.
01:01:16
Speaker
Yeah.
01:01:17
Speaker
And I'm really interested in what these guys have next, because between how fish is made and to this, the level of abstraction is decreased by
01:01:34
Speaker
So like how fish is made is like very abstract, right?
01:01:38
Speaker
You're going through like, it's weird.
01:01:42
Speaker
I can't even really begin to describe it.
01:01:44
Speaker
Whereas this is a little bit more straightforward in terms of what it's representing.
01:01:52
Speaker
It's not straightforward in how the story is told, but...
01:01:56
Speaker
it's real characters dealing with real concrete surrealist and more, uh, but still very weird, uh, in, in how it tells the story.
01:02:09
Speaker
So finished mouthwashing, love mouthwashing.
01:02:12
Speaker
It's definitely going to be in my, uh, towards the top of my list.
01:02:17
Speaker
Um, uh, close to Balotro.
01:02:20
Speaker
Um,
01:02:22
Speaker
Right up there.
01:02:23
Speaker
Right up there.
01:02:25
Speaker
So, yeah, mouthwashing.
01:02:27
Speaker
What else I've been playing is I've been playing some more UFO 50.
Phil's Insights on 'Sorry We're Closed'
01:02:33
Speaker
I finally got the gold on Ninpec.
01:02:38
Speaker
I don't think I've played Ninpec yet.
01:02:39
Speaker
Yeah, it's like an auto-scroller where you're a little ninja dude throwing shurikens.
01:02:44
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:02:45
Speaker
I have played that.
01:02:46
Speaker
Never mind, never mind.
01:02:46
Speaker
Yeah, it took me.
01:02:49
Speaker
It was funny as I set the high score on the game without beating it.
01:02:53
Speaker
And then I finally got around to actually beating it.
01:02:58
Speaker
So Nidpak and a few other games, I'm like, you know, I'm back in there trying to get some more gilded and cherried discs.
01:03:08
Speaker
And otherwise, sorry, we're closed.
01:03:13
Speaker
Okay.
01:03:14
Speaker
Okay.
01:03:14
Speaker
This one is one I'm a little intrigued by.
01:03:16
Speaker
Tell me more about this.
01:03:17
Speaker
So Sorry We're Closed is a horror game, but it is very, very gay, super gay and delightfully so.
01:03:32
Speaker
You play a character, I think her name is Michelle, who has been recently, not recently, it's been a few years since she was dumped by her girlfriend who has gone on to become a big successful actress.
01:03:46
Speaker
And she's just kind of like been stuck in a rut basically for the past couple of years.
01:03:51
Speaker
And then she is approached by a demon who is like, what would you like?
01:03:58
Speaker
And you're like,
01:03:59
Speaker
love and the demons like well you're gonna love me then uh and you're gonna marry me and you've been cursed uh so now you're cursed to have a third eye and you're able to see between the real world and and the veil of the demon world um and you're like it's really neat it's so people have said it's like a killer seven
01:04:23
Speaker
Okay.
01:04:24
Speaker
Which I need to play.
01:04:26
Speaker
I got gifted that last year in our Secret Santa, and I need to play that.
01:04:33
Speaker
Yeah, it is very much like Killer7.
01:04:35
Speaker
It goes from a third fixed camera as your, like a Resident Evil style fixed camera as your
01:04:45
Speaker
uh walking around areas to when you're attacking it switches to first person um and one of the neat things is like when you have your third eye closed you'll see like just like the the body of the demon right but when you have your third eye open you can see their weak points and with the third eye open the only thing you can hit is the weak points so it's harder
01:05:09
Speaker
It's easier to hit them with your third-eyed close, but you're doing less damage.
01:05:13
Speaker
With your third eye open, you can shoot them in these weak points designated by these heart logos, and you do a lot more damage, and you fill up this meter for a gun that you have called the Heartbreaker.
01:05:27
Speaker
and there because there's some demons that don't die right when you kill them like you put the hit their all their weak points you get rid of their health and they fall down and they're like unconscious right but if you shoot them with the heartbreaker they're dead permanently um so it's like it's killer seven um it's uh what else uh what's it paradise killer
01:05:53
Speaker
Um, yeah.
01:05:54
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:05:55
Speaker
It's, it's Killer7.
01:05:57
Speaker
The vibes remind me a bit of Paradise Killer.
01:06:00
Speaker
Um, definitely not the same style, like, gameplay.
01:06:05
Speaker
Just vibes-wise, I get Paradise Killer energy from it.
01:06:10
Speaker
Uh, gayness, queerness-wise, I get Paradise Killer.
01:06:14
Speaker
Um...
01:06:18
Speaker
But yeah, no, I'm really enjoying, I feel like sometimes the interstitial moments, like there's long moments between missions where you're like talking to other characters and you can talk to characters and take on certain side quests and things like that.
01:06:37
Speaker
And you're not really sure sometimes, like, should I have actually, should I have taken that side quest on?
01:06:43
Speaker
Is that going to be a good thing later on?
01:06:46
Speaker
My only critique so far is sometimes these interstitial moments between missions where you're just kind of like wandering around talking to people.
01:06:53
Speaker
Feels like it could go on for a little bit too long.
01:06:57
Speaker
But still, you know, it's a really, really neat game.
01:07:02
Speaker
Nice.
01:07:03
Speaker
So, yeah, sorry, we're closed is the game.
01:07:07
Speaker
Yeah.
01:07:09
Speaker
And it's very, very cool.
01:07:12
Speaker
That was really interesting.
01:07:14
Speaker
Yeah.
01:07:15
Speaker
Yeah.
01:07:15
Speaker
And you know what it is?
01:07:16
Speaker
It's also a game that the still photos don't really do it justice.
01:07:20
Speaker
It's a game that looks a lot better in motion than it does from screenshots for some reason.
01:07:26
Speaker
Because when I first saw the screenshots, I was like, I don't know.
01:07:29
Speaker
But then once I got into the game, I was like, OK, this feels better than just the stills looked.
01:07:37
Speaker
Yeah.
01:07:38
Speaker
So Phil, what are you playing?
Nostalgia and UFO 50 Game Collection
01:07:42
Speaker
Oh, well, I am also still stuck in UFO 50.
01:07:49
Speaker
My play hours are up to 55.
01:07:52
Speaker
You are almost, you are getting dangerously close to passing me.
01:07:57
Speaker
It's ridiculous.
01:07:58
Speaker
It's ridiculous.
01:08:00
Speaker
I believe last episode I talked about the caveman game.
01:08:05
Speaker
I gilded that one.
01:08:07
Speaker
I'm currently working on, I'm just terrible at looking at the titles of these games for the most part.
01:08:13
Speaker
So I'm just going to describe it.
01:08:15
Speaker
I'm currently working on a game.
01:08:19
Speaker
It's this really neat puzzle game where
01:08:23
Speaker
you have these demons coming into like a puritanical looking town and you have different bombs you can place and the whole- Yeah, the devolition.
01:08:34
Speaker
Devolition, thank you.
01:08:36
Speaker
And the bombs, each bomb has a different pattern and you have a limited amount of them.
01:08:42
Speaker
And the whole point is to, you only have one chance to detonate.
01:08:45
Speaker
So you're trying to do that once.
01:08:48
Speaker
Just try to create a chain reaction.
01:08:51
Speaker
Exactly.
01:08:51
Speaker
That will kill off as many of them as possible.
01:08:53
Speaker
And if you have fewer demons than villagers, then you've succeeded.
01:09:00
Speaker
It's super addictive.
01:09:03
Speaker
I really, really like it.
01:09:06
Speaker
I'm also working my way through camouflage, which makes me think a lot of the old Lolo games on NES.
01:09:13
Speaker
Similar kind of vibe.
01:09:14
Speaker
You're a little lizard, and your whole...
01:09:19
Speaker
All that you can do is change your color based on the tiles you're over.
01:09:23
Speaker
And it's a puzzle thing where you're trying to make sure that you pick the right tiles to change your color over before you get eaten by crabs or whatever else.
01:09:31
Speaker
Right.
01:09:33
Speaker
Super fun.
01:09:34
Speaker
Really, really enjoying that one, too.
01:09:37
Speaker
Just more examples of how these games really resemble old style.
01:09:43
Speaker
Excuse me.
01:09:44
Speaker
Old style Nintendo games.
01:09:47
Speaker
but have this fresh coat of modern paint on them that those games in the eighties couldn't possibly have had.
01:09:54
Speaker
And I'm, I'm really enjoying that.
01:09:55
Speaker
It's there's, there's some mind fuckery that goes with that.
01:10:00
Speaker
And it's a lot of fun.
01:10:01
Speaker
Yeah.
01:10:03
Speaker
I have I played a couple of demos, very briefly played a demo called Tiny Bookshop, which is one of these very it's cute.
01:10:12
Speaker
It's very twee, a very casual game.
01:10:15
Speaker
You are the you have a little mobile bookshop and you're in this little, you know, Stars Hollow style kind of small town and you're meeting people and finding out what everyone likes and you're trying to keep.
01:10:30
Speaker
There's Lorelei here.
01:10:33
Speaker
Not yet.
01:10:34
Speaker
She will be.
01:10:35
Speaker
She can't resist me.
01:10:38
Speaker
You're trying to keep stocked with the right books and that kind of thing.
01:10:43
Speaker
It's very casual, very laid back.
01:10:45
Speaker
I don't know if I'd buy it, but it's honestly a very relaxing demo, so it's worth looking at if that appeals to anyone that I'm mentioning this to.
01:10:55
Speaker
I also played the demo for Little Goody Two-Shoes.
01:11:00
Speaker
This is interesting.
01:11:03
Speaker
This is a game, it's like a horror game.
01:11:08
Speaker
anime RPG kind of thing.
01:11:11
Speaker
You play this girl who lives out on the outskirts of this kind of medieval-looking village and everything, and you are being... Basically, you find this girl who has been hiding in your shed, and you're forcing her to do work, and...
01:11:29
Speaker
You're being accused of being a witch and super gay, and you can romance villagers, but you have to keep their suspicion down because you are a witch, let's face facts.
01:11:42
Speaker
Yeah.
01:11:43
Speaker
But it's also got these interesting levels of horror to them.
01:11:47
Speaker
It's a strange game in the sense that I don't know...
01:11:52
Speaker
whether I'm coming or going with it.
01:11:54
Speaker
Like it doesn't you don't know what's going on half the time.
01:11:59
Speaker
It is.
01:11:59
Speaker
It's not in a bad way.
01:12:01
Speaker
Published by Square Enix.
01:12:03
Speaker
Yes, it is.
01:12:05
Speaker
It's published by them.
01:12:06
Speaker
It was written by a team that had this really this breakout RPG maker game that came out some time back.
01:12:16
Speaker
It's very here.
01:12:18
Speaker
Yeah, that's the one, Pocket Mirror.
01:12:20
Speaker
It's a very complex kind of thing.
01:12:23
Speaker
It is not for me.
01:12:24
Speaker
I will say that.
01:12:27
Speaker
But it's very special.
01:12:30
Speaker
It's gorgeous, first and foremost.
01:12:32
Speaker
I don't care who you are.
01:12:33
Speaker
You look at it, it's beautiful.
01:12:34
Speaker
And it's more than just like...
01:12:36
Speaker
you know, fancy pixel art.
01:12:38
Speaker
It's beautifully done.
01:12:41
Speaker
The voice acting is pretty good.
01:12:43
Speaker
The character designs are nice.
01:12:45
Speaker
It just didn't grab me.
01:12:48
Speaker
But I feel like this is going to be
01:12:51
Speaker
I feel like we're going to hear more about this next year because I haven't heard much about it this year.
01:12:56
Speaker
And I feel like after everything, after the dust settles with all the games that have come out in this last quarter of the year, this might be one that people will come back to next year.
01:13:06
Speaker
Right.
01:13:08
Speaker
I wouldn't be surprised if we see some think pieces on it or something like that.
01:13:14
Speaker
And finally, I just randomly watched some kid's YouTube video about the horror elements of Arkham Asylum and on a whim downloaded that and played through about an hour of that.
01:13:26
Speaker
Nice.
01:13:27
Speaker
I needed that old feel.
01:13:28
Speaker
Oh, it's still so good, man.
01:13:30
Speaker
It's still so good.
01:13:31
Speaker
It holds up beautifully.
01:13:34
Speaker
Really, it's one of those things you can hop right back into.
01:13:39
Speaker
Right.
01:13:40
Speaker
So having fun with that.
01:13:41
Speaker
Yeah.
01:13:43
Speaker
But yeah, that's me.
01:13:44
Speaker
That's me.
01:13:46
Speaker
Awesome.
01:13:46
Speaker
Yeah.
01:13:48
Speaker
So also, by the way, I know we haven't spoken of it yet.
01:13:53
Speaker
I it's not.
01:13:54
Speaker
I bought it, but I haven't played it yet.
01:13:56
Speaker
Rise of the Golden Idol is on my.
01:13:58
Speaker
Oh, here we go.
01:13:59
Speaker
OK, my two playlists.
01:14:01
Speaker
So I'll get back around to that.
01:14:04
Speaker
You're a Golden Idol.
01:14:05
Speaker
You like to Golden.
01:14:06
Speaker
the case of gold.
01:14:07
Speaker
Oh, I, I thought it was weird and beautiful and good.
01:14:10
Speaker
Yes.
01:14:10
Speaker
I loved that one.
01:14:11
Speaker
So rise the golden idol is out.
01:14:13
Speaker
I mean, there's other games coming out soon that are, that are, uh, I'm interested in the Indiana Jones game.
01:14:20
Speaker
Uh, looks like it's going to be fun.
01:14:22
Speaker
Is that coming out in December?
01:14:23
Speaker
Yep.
01:14:24
Speaker
Hmm.
01:14:25
Speaker
Yeah, it is.
01:14:26
Speaker
Um, uh, Indiana Jones and, um, I think some, um,
01:14:33
Speaker
still feel like there's a few other things that are coming out in uh in december but also if you're if for those who are interested stalker 2 is out yeah yeah that looks pretty cool yeah uh huh so you know that's that's all good stuff uh but that'll do it for tonight's episode uh if you can go ahead and follow us over on blue sky best way to to hear the
01:15:00
Speaker
stuff from me and Phil.
01:15:02
Speaker
Man, I'm having fun over there.
01:15:04
Speaker
Yeah.
01:15:04
Speaker
I am having so much fun on Blue Sky.
01:15:06
Speaker
It's great.
01:15:07
Speaker
It is the best of Twitter and like the right wing chuds tend to get blocked and leave the platform pretty quickly.
01:15:16
Speaker
Andrew Tate got banned after one day.
01:15:19
Speaker
The quartering, the quartering already perma bands.
01:15:23
Speaker
Oh, fuck the quartering.
01:15:24
Speaker
Everyone who looks like the quarter.
01:15:27
Speaker
Fuck the quartering.
01:15:29
Speaker
Beautiful.
01:15:30
Speaker
So, you know, um, yeah.
01:15:33
Speaker
Follow us on blue sky, uh, search pixel.
01:15:36
Speaker
It will come up.
01:15:37
Speaker
Um, pixel.
01:15:38
Speaker
It pod.com is the actual, uh, uh,
01:15:41
Speaker
name that you can find us on.
01:15:43
Speaker
But yeah, or come to our Patreon, join our Discord.
01:15:47
Speaker
All that is good ways to connect with us.
01:15:51
Speaker
Hell yeah.
01:15:52
Speaker
Yeah.
01:15:53
Speaker
So that'll do it.