Introductions and New Beginnings
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It's just like, oh, it's amazing.
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It's absolutely the best.
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Speaker
You know what else is the best?
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Speaker
Hey there, everybody.
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Speaker
Welcome back to Pixel It.
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Speaker
And this still picture next to me is Phil.
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This is what I look like now.
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Speaker
Phil moved and his webcam is still in a box somewhere.
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Speaker
So we're just rolling with it.
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Speaker
We already did a week, you know, so I could actually do the physical act of moving.
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I would have called in on my phone if I had to.
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The show must go on.
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Phil, how's it going?
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How's the new house?
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I am currently broadcasting, if you will, from the little basement of this place.
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And that tells you something about how decent the internet we have here is.
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They got fiber out here.
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So we're rocking and rolling.
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But yeah, it is...
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It's so cliche, but it's everything we wanted in a place.
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We have been having such a good time, and it's only been the first couple of weeks or so.
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Speaker
Not even a couple of weeks.
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Speaker
This was the first week.
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Speaker
This is the first full week.
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And Graham was still getting used to it a little bit, but he loves
Car Troubles and Supporters
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He just runs outside.
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Speaker
The cats are different because we've decided to let the cats out.
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They're indoor-outdoor cats now.
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And it's all Jonesy ever wanted.
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And he, you've met Jonesy.
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He's, our nickname at home for him is, he's our troubled idiot.
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Because he's dumb as hell.
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And he's also got a lot of, he's cagey.
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He's got a lot of problems.
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And who knew that just letting him outside for the better part of the day, he comes back in in the afternoon, the evening to eat, and then he just stays in.
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And he's just the happiest I've ever seen him.
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He gets cuddly and shit.
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He's never been a cuddly cat.
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Like, he's a changed cat.
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And everybody's, everyone is, so everyone's quality of life just jumped up.
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So I, of course, had to make my life harder by just fucking up my car this morning.
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Because I was trying to do a three-point turn.
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And we've got these great big trees right around where we park.
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And I rolled over a root that I didn't know was there and it pulled down the panel at the bottom of the car.
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And I, and I was like, fine, I'll fuck it.
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And when I come back, I'll, I'll, uh, zip port it, you know, and just, I've done that before it's happened.
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Uh, I didn't consider like a moron, uh, that something might hurt, uh, something under the car because the panel is gone.
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And then right as I was pulling into parking for work, the AC just stopped and it started blowing hot air and my sensor on the car that tells me what temperature is outside just went blank.
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So I think I fucked up the condenser or something like that.
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I went from a $25 problem to a $600 problem.
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So lesson kids is, uh, just fix the, the $25 problem and don't wait for it
Book Discussion: Prince Etrobus and Fantastical Adventures
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to be a $600 problem.
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No, just don't do it.
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Take it from your uncles.
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We know what we're talking about.
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Except for me, who made the problem worse.
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I didn't know what I was talking about.
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Speaker
Speaking of, I'm a few months overdue for an oil change.
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So that's a good reminder.
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Speaker
Well, you know, and the handle, the driver's side handle on my door has been broken since last winter because the door froze up.
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And when I tried to pull the latch to open the door, something inside of it shattered.
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And so now to get out of that door, I have to roll down the window and open it from the inside.
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So I didn't even tell them about that.
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I figured they're going to find out about it soon enough and probably offer me something to offer me some.
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kind of payment plan for fixing it.
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So I might as well find out if it's worth my while or not.
00:04:54
Speaker
And you know, it's always worth your while is going over to patreon.com slash pixel at pod, where you too can give us money for, for free.
00:05:04
Speaker
You could go on there for free and give us $0, but we appreciate it anyway.
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Speaker
you can give us $1 and that gets you the ad-free episode.
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Speaker
$5 gets you the bonus episode that we record before the show and $10 gets your name shouted out during every episode.
00:05:19
Speaker
And to that end, I would like to thank Jesus Loves You, Kyle Seaman, Ruthless Mudder, Middle of Things, Sigma Sal, Sanguine Flatulence, Chut Beaks, Demetheck, and Friendly Friend.
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Thank you so much for being friends.
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Patreon.com slash PixelitPod.
00:05:38
Speaker
So, Phil, we're back in this book.
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Speaker
We're back in this book.
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Speaker
How are we feeling about part two?
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Speaker
Do you just want to get into it?
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Speaker
Let's barrel into it because... Let's barrel into it.
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I've got a lot of feelings.
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This book is making me feel all kinds of ways, and I don't know what to do about it.
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Speaker
Yeah, let's put the body in the marsh.
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Speaker
Let's marsh up that body.
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Speaker
Let's put the body in the black marsh.
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Speaker
Ooh, I can't believe... Ah, damn it.
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I can't believe I didn't even...
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Somebody walking a fucking dog in three feet a month.
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Speaker
What kind of fucking size a dog is that?
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Speaker
Yeah, I was told that we should have said that last week by somebody on the Discord, and I'm making up for it now.
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Speaker
I'm going to cut myself some slack.
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That's ridiculous.
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I can't believe it.
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Anyway, it doesn't matter.
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As I pointed out to Kevin, this particular book, it has its weaknesses, but where it makes up for that is in
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uh, cutting itself precisely into three equal parts, uh, uh, for us to, for the format of our show.
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So Greg keys, wherever you are, thank you for doing that.
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A hundred pages apart.
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Don't even have to think about it.
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So we're starting on part two, chapter one.
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We start out with Prince Etribus, who is, if you remember, our only hope.
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Before an egg sent off the clockwork bird, she was like,
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We'll just we'll go to the prince.
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He'll help us, which is kind of help us.
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It's kind of like you got mugged.
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And so you send a letter to like the vice president or something like that.
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Vance is not going to help you.
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He is not going to help you.
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He actually might do him because right.
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He's on a war path against the left right now.
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So, oh, yeah, sure.
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You know, he might make it worse.
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He might make it worse.
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Did you see he hosted
Critiques: Pacing and Potential
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Charlie Kirk's show today?
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By the way, it's been a week.
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We did not record last week.
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And things happened.
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We're not stating anything wrong.
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Uh, opinions of the event, just saying, uh, things happen, you know, that it happens.
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And, uh, if somebody is mourning Charlie Kirk, just ask them what exactly they liked about him and what their favorite quote of his was anyway.
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Speaker
Yeah, it's been a good week for unfollowing.
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Speaker
It's been a good week for unfollowing.
00:08:13
Speaker
It's been a good week for accelerationists.
00:08:19
Speaker
Oh, they're they're thrilled.
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They're the only people who got exactly what they want.
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Speaker
They're happy about, you know, the, cause they just want shit to happen.
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Um, and it's happening.
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Speaker
God, it's happening.
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Speaker
God, it's happening faster than ever.
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It's right there in their name.
00:08:42
Speaker
Oh, I mean, we are, he is absolutely that, uh,
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We're going to find that out.
00:08:51
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So he's sparring with this red guard girl who was like, who claims to be like the daughter of somebody who advised his father and all that stuff.
00:09:00
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And she's, she's very good.
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But, you know, he, he still comes out on top and he offers her a job in his personal guard.
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Speaker
So after that, we cut back to an egg who is still cooking for
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this faceless lord we haven't seen yet.
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They're still cooking for him.
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He's not happy with the last meal, so one of the chefs gets killed by Kine, which I guess that is how you say it.
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Speaker
Again, it's Q-I-J-N-E.
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I'm just going to say Kine.
00:09:36
Speaker
So she kills him to prove a point, I guess.
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We will not tolerate boring food.
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Speaker
It's not even that he didn't like the food, he was just bored by it.
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And this is a plot line that in any other thing I would find fucking excellent.
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It's going to get even better.
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Speaker
I love this thing.
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Speaker
I just don't give a shit about an egg.
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Speaker
And that's kind of a problem.
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By the way, by the way, her name reminds me of Arrested Development.
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Speaker
That's the name of the episode.
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Speaker
She gets a hint that they might have to scrap.
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Speaker
And that's hilarious and oh so good.
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Speaker
It's hilarious because it's basically, it's basically they, like, it's a real, it's an actual anchorman moment.
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That's exactly it.
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And it will happen.
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I fucking love it.
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So they make another dish for this guy and they find out
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he was bored by this one too.
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And they're pretty sure that they're dead mate.
00:11:01
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We cut back to Prince Etrobus, who has heard rumors that he's meant to get married.
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He doesn't want to do that.
00:11:07
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He wants his dad to send him on this bad-ass military mission.
00:11:12
Speaker
And his dad's telling him no.
00:11:14
Speaker
So that's when Koo, the clockwork bird, shows up.
00:11:19
Speaker
And through the powers of, you know,
00:11:24
Speaker
zoom call in elder scrolls.
00:11:28
Speaker
Uh, he gets to talk to this, this guy talks to an egg and like, and that's the thing.
00:11:33
Speaker
It's, it's so stupid.
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Speaker
Cause you're like, girl, like you're going to send, you're going to, you're going that high.
Identity Crisis and Subplots
00:11:40
Speaker
Like you're, you're bumping that high.
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Speaker
And it, but it totally works because he's like, oh yeah.
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Speaker
And she, he tells, she tells him all about the flying city and he goes to his father, the emperor.
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Speaker
And, uh, the, his father's like, no,
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You just, you just want to stroke your own ego.
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This is about glory.
00:11:56
Speaker
Uh, and we're not doing that.
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Speaker
We got more important stuff to deal with.
00:12:00
Speaker
Um, so, uh, and so of course, immediately he walks out and starts, uh, he's, you know, we're assembling a team.
00:12:06
Speaker
Uh, so he's going to have a small adventuring party of his own in secret.
00:12:12
Speaker
Um, chapter two, uh, we cut back to Glim, our Argonian.
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Speaker
Uh, this is the only time we will see him this entire hundred pages, by the way.
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Speaker
He is in the sump with this guy named Wirt.
00:12:28
Speaker
And if you've forgotten, the sump is kind of like the sewer system, basically.
00:12:34
Speaker
It's like the dead bodies end up in there.
00:12:37
Speaker
But also, as we'll find out, the babies come out of there.
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And their food, like they eat fish and shrimp and shit that that swoon around down there.
00:12:47
Speaker
Sump is for everything.
00:12:49
Speaker
Sump is for everything and everything is for the sump.
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But that's where he works and because he's really valuable to them because as an Argonian, he can breathe underwater.
00:12:59
Speaker
And they don't know what the fuck an Argonian is.
00:13:03
Speaker
But they love that he can breathe underwater and they're taking full advantage of it.
00:13:07
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And as Kevin pointed out, this is where babies come from.
00:13:15
Speaker
There are eggs that are in different stages of development.
00:13:24
Speaker
And they change colors based on where they are.
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Speaker
And it's Glimm's job to grab the right eggs before they hatch.
00:13:35
Speaker
And while this all happens, a random fight scene happens between them and a mutant shark.
00:13:42
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It's like, by the way, there's like, yeah, there's fucking sharks in there, I guess.
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Speaker
Yeah, giant sharks.
00:13:47
Speaker
And Glimm kills it and rescues Wirt.
00:13:49
Speaker
And that is, I hope you enjoyed that because that is our Glimm chapter.
00:13:55
Speaker
Also, Wirt, they talk about how Wirt has like, is breathing underwater by use of something called the Vapors.
00:14:06
Speaker
It's like they inhale this gas and then they fill their lungs with water and then they're able to be under the water.
00:14:12
Speaker
But it's kind of slowly killing them too.
00:14:15
Speaker
Yeah, it's really fucking them up.
00:14:17
Speaker
It's a pretty good
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Speaker
story device like it's like wow that is sad and they're like Glimm you're great because you don't need the vapors you can just go right into the water and they're also talking about how like by the way Glimm you're just the first Argonian there's going to be more of you now that you're here and it's like what's going are they like scraping people's DNA and throwing them into the egg sacs or whatever what's going on here that seems to be it because they talk about that they've talked about how like you know
00:14:50
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you're here, you die, and then you come back again in some way, shape, or form.
00:14:54
Speaker
So it's kind of a tyrannid, like, biomass kind of thing.
00:14:58
Speaker
Everyone just kind of gets melted down and recreated.
00:15:02
Speaker
Not to get all Warhammer 40K on you.
00:15:06
Speaker
No, I'm sure that they, that's taken everybody completely by surprise.
00:15:13
Speaker
If Dennis Miller was one of the...
00:15:16
Speaker
What are they called?
00:15:19
Speaker
Like the history keeper dudes?
00:15:26
Speaker
No, not the archivists.
00:15:27
Speaker
In Horace Heresy, the.
00:15:29
Speaker
Oh, oh, the remembrancers.
00:15:37
Speaker
Dennis Miller has her remembrancer.
00:15:42
Speaker
Just starting off a monologue.
00:15:45
Speaker
Like, hey, I was there when Horace slew the emperor.
00:15:53
Speaker
I wasn't impressed.
00:15:55
Speaker
Tell you what though, tell you what that horse God, he makes, he makes, uh,
00:16:00
Speaker
He makes Mr. Clean look like, you know, heavy metal headbanger, doesn't he, babe?
00:16:09
Speaker
That's not quite obscure enough of a reference.
00:16:14
Speaker
He would have to do some deep Warhammer, some deep 40K cuts in order to... Oh, yeah.
00:16:20
Speaker
And show something.
00:16:20
Speaker
Right up a whole... She was like a 17th century bald guy.
00:16:31
Speaker
Archduke Ferdinand, babe.
00:16:33
Speaker
That's at that point.
00:16:34
Speaker
It's not even connected to a joke.
00:16:36
Speaker
He's just throwing out random historical references and the audience goes
Gaming Experiences and Nostalgia
00:16:42
Speaker
I remember when his revealing that he was more right wing was the greatest betrayal of
00:16:52
Speaker
to a lot of us and my God, it's gotten so much worse.
00:16:58
Speaker
Where have you gone, Dennis Miller?
00:17:00
Speaker
Where have you gone, Dennis Miller?
00:17:03
Speaker
You know, honestly, looking back on it, we should have seen the signs.
00:17:08
Speaker
Because he was it's one of those guys where you realize in retrospect that he was always a hack.
00:17:15
Speaker
But you were just I was like, oh, he's funny because he makes obscure references.
00:17:20
Speaker
And I, hey, I was 100 percent right there.
00:17:22
Speaker
I was like, I don't.
00:17:29
Speaker
Because, you know, when you're when you're a white guy who wants people to think you're smart.
00:17:34
Speaker
So, you know, that's that's the whole shtick.
00:17:37
Speaker
And I'm still one of those guys.
00:17:38
Speaker
So it's still one of those guys.
00:17:41
Speaker
Dennis Miller, Bill Maher, Phil Keeling.
00:17:47
Speaker
The three amigos, they call us.
00:17:55
Speaker
I would I would learn about.
00:17:58
Speaker
If I had to spend that much time with those two, I would figure out.
00:18:01
Speaker
Can you imagine having to like share a plane, like sitting next to them on a plane for like I can I can tell you I would learn very quickly how far down my throat I could fit a shotgun.
00:18:15
Speaker
Yeah, that's not that's not my idea of a good time.
00:18:20
Speaker
It's you in between Bill Maher and Dennis Miller on a flight to Dubai.
00:18:29
Speaker
Cause I'm sure we're going to hear all kinds of enlightened shit about Dubai right there by itself.
00:18:35
Speaker
It is a hundred percent.
00:18:38
Speaker
Anyway, we were somewhere.
00:18:44
Speaker
No, he's alive, but, but that's, that's literally the only chapter in a whole, in a hundred pages.
00:18:49
Speaker
We get six of them dedicated to poor Glimm, who is who in part one had some really interesting introspection and some interesting thoughts about what it's like to be an indigenous person in a colonized area, some really interesting stuff.
00:19:06
Speaker
And, and, and in this scene, we get a shark fight and that's basically it.
00:19:13
Speaker
it's so frustrating.
00:19:16
Speaker
My conclusion, I brought it up in the last episode, but I'll get into it, obviously, after we're done.
00:19:23
Speaker
But I am more convinced than ever that this used to be about 150 pages longer.
00:19:31
Speaker
And they were just like, absolutely not.
00:19:33
Speaker
You've got to cut about
Closing Thoughts and Humor
00:19:36
Speaker
And this is the best he could do.
00:19:39
Speaker
Because he is a good writer.
00:19:41
Speaker
That is something we are going to see constantly through this.
00:19:44
Speaker
He is a good writer.
00:19:47
Speaker
But there are just a scene not found all over this book.
00:19:52
Speaker
So chapter three, the prince arrives at the town of Ione.
00:19:57
Speaker
It's this little village, which is best known for its oblivion gate, where the namesake of the town
00:20:08
Speaker
He took half of his forces into oblivion, uh, to fight the Daedra.
00:20:14
Speaker
Um, presumably I believe during the events of the game oblivion.
00:20:20
Speaker
So he meets his little army at a hunting lodge.
00:20:23
Speaker
I think they say it's about like 52 people, something like that.
00:20:27
Speaker
Um, and, uh, he, he's a, he gets a, we get a really fun, uh,
00:20:32
Speaker
guilty rich white boy syndrome moment because he's got this hunting lodge out there and the red guard woman who is part of his guard now kind of goes, wow, this is a really, this is a huge hunting lodge.
00:20:45
Speaker
She's like, it's not that big.
00:20:47
Speaker
Just immediately feels guilty.
00:20:49
Speaker
Like, like, what are you saying?
00:20:51
Speaker
You saying I'm just some spoiled rich kid?
00:20:55
Speaker
And this will continue.
00:20:58
Speaker
So he's getting them all psyched up to go out and fight
00:21:03
Speaker
Uh, uh, to, to go find this floating city and everyone's like, yeah, okay.
00:21:10
Speaker
That sounds great.
00:21:11
Speaker
They're, they're really trying their hardest to, to sound enthusiastic for their boss.
00:21:16
Speaker
Um, and it's, it's working on them, uh, for now.
00:21:20
Speaker
Unfortunately, the army gets ambushed and basically everyone dies.
00:21:26
Speaker
But before he gets to before he can witness that, his new guard smacks him with the flat of a sword and knocks him unconscious.
00:21:36
Speaker
He wakes up his new his hot, sexy guard who.
00:21:42
Speaker
He was like, oh, I might be into her.
00:21:44
Speaker
And then she's like, fuck you.
00:21:48
Speaker
swim and all that shit.
00:21:50
Speaker
Like it's, it's, she goes hard.
00:21:53
Speaker
Well, not that hard, but you know what I mean?
00:21:56
Speaker
So that's, I gotta get her name.
00:21:59
Speaker
She's going to come up.
00:22:00
Speaker
I keep forgetting to write down her name.
00:22:06
Speaker
Well, she's not going to be alive for too much longer.
00:22:09
Speaker
But Red Haas, her name is Red Haas.
00:22:11
Speaker
So he wakes up and he's been tied up and Red Haas and her posse, she's got this posse of like bandits basically.
00:22:18
Speaker
And the whole point is they're going to sell him.
00:22:21
Speaker
They were given a job to kill him, but they found a guy who collects people.
00:22:27
Speaker
We don't really find out what that means.
00:22:30
Speaker
That might be a reference to the game.
00:22:33
Speaker
But he's going to pay way more than they were ever going to get to kill him.
00:22:39
Speaker
So shut your mouth, deal with these bindings, and we're going to take you to this other place to sell you.
00:22:47
Speaker
Uh, they tell him that they've killed his entire army and he just, this is the beginning of, of the delusion of this guy.
00:22:55
Speaker
He just assumes that she's lying.
00:22:57
Speaker
Uh, for no reason whatsoever.
00:23:00
Speaker
He has no reason to think that she's lying.
00:23:02
Speaker
Uh, uh, we are going to find out pretty shortly that she is not, that his army killed everybody.
00:23:09
Speaker
Everybody who followed him, uh, on this thing is dead now.
00:23:14
Speaker
Um, and, uh, and he has to believe that basically he has to believe that, that she's lying.
00:23:18
Speaker
Um, chapter four, we get an egg, uh, who's making a recipe with viper venom.
00:23:24
Speaker
And the whole idea is that it's meant to mix up your senses.
00:23:29
Speaker
This, this recipe, like, um, things that taste salty will taste sour and things that taste bitter will taste sweet.
00:23:36
Speaker
And, uh, and if you do it in the right way, that can be very pleasant and, and, and strange and, and,
00:23:42
Speaker
She knows for a fact that the lord, if you will, will not be able to say that it is boring.
00:23:49
Speaker
So she's hoping that will be interesting enough.
00:23:53
Speaker
It goes over very well.
00:23:54
Speaker
So she and I think it's Slinn, her assistant chef, they get drunk.
00:24:00
Speaker
And that's when... And as she goes to bed, she checks her little amulet thing and realizes that Ku, wherever it is, is not with the prince anymore.
00:24:10
Speaker
Because we're getting...
00:24:13
Speaker
nothing but static on the other side there.
00:24:16
Speaker
Yeah, that's all we got.
00:24:19
Speaker
Chapter five, Colin.
00:24:21
Speaker
Colin, who you might remember.
00:24:23
Speaker
Yeah, Colin's back.
00:24:25
Speaker
He was in the second chapter of the first part, and that was it.
00:24:31
Speaker
And he's, if you don't remember, he is like a young guy who basically has become, and they call him an inspector,
00:24:41
Speaker
And it's kind of like he's like a part of the CIA.
00:24:44
Speaker
Like he's one part like investigator detective and one part assassin.
00:24:50
Speaker
He's like a hand of the emperor.
00:24:53
Speaker
And he has been brought to the scene of, uh, the dead army, the prince's dead army.
00:25:00
Speaker
It's, it's a real, like the vibe I get from this scene is like Colin is basically the FBI coming in to take the case away from the local, local cops.
00:25:10
Speaker
That's exactly it.
00:25:11
Speaker
It's like, well, actually it's my crime scene to go knock yourself out.
00:25:15
Speaker
Uh, it's, it's, that's exactly what it is.
00:25:18
Speaker
Uh, and he's investigating and he's a very good investigator.
00:25:22
Speaker
Um, and, uh, he realized he finds what they, they're meant to believe that this is the body of the Prince.
00:25:27
Speaker
He's wearing, uh, very, uh, uh, conspicuously wearing the jewelry of the Prince and his head has been cut off, uh, which is also, he recognizes meant to make it look like the rebels in the area who are fond of, uh, taking heads, but he doesn't buy it.
00:25:43
Speaker
It's just too convenient.
00:25:46
Speaker
This is where I realized, and he has a power that he uses in this moment to interrogate the ghosts of the people who have recently died to ask them what happened.
00:25:59
Speaker
And he doesn't get too far, but he gets enough information basically to confirm what he seems to think, that this is not what it seems to be.
00:26:11
Speaker
This is where I realized that I think Colin is my favorite character in this book.
00:26:15
Speaker
Yeah, I was like, after this chapter, I was like, oh, this book just should have been all Colin.
00:26:20
Speaker
I have it written here.
00:26:23
Speaker
Most interesting character.
00:26:24
Speaker
Why not more Colin?
00:26:26
Speaker
I hate that his chapters are so few and far between.
00:26:29
Speaker
It's so frustrating because he's really interesting and he's really well written for what little we get of him.
00:26:37
Speaker
Uh, it's got like fantasy true detective vibes.
00:26:42
Speaker
Just follow this dude unraveling a mystery of a kidnapping that leads him to a, to a fucking floating city of, of the damned.
00:26:51
Speaker
That's like, that's all we need.
00:26:53
Speaker
That's all we need.
00:26:54
Speaker
it's it's and yeah i don't know instead we're only getting him like we already know the we already know we're just getting colin it's it's more of like a a colombo situation where we already saw the crime happened and now we're like oh is he gonna colombo his way through it that's that's exactly it it it's it's a shame uh he's such an interesting kid and that's the thing and as i said before this is where we're really going to see we're really starting to see um
00:27:23
Speaker
that these separate parts of this book, there's something there.
00:27:28
Speaker
There's always an interesting factor in each of these parts.
00:27:32
Speaker
They just fall flat on their faces so frequently, and there's just not enough of it to justify it.
00:27:40
Speaker
Okay, we get to chapter six.
00:27:42
Speaker
Great chapter, actually.
00:27:44
Speaker
The prince is told by his kidnappers to bathe, and while he gets nude and hops into this lake,
00:27:53
Speaker
And while he's in there, he notices that Redhasa has his sword.
00:27:57
Speaker
She's basically guarding him and she's not really paying attention.
00:28:01
Speaker
And he takes the opportunity to grab his sword and get into an Eastern Promises style naked fight.
00:28:09
Speaker
They don't, they really don't emphasize it too much, but he is naked and,
00:28:14
Speaker
for the rest of the chapter.
00:28:17
Speaker
They don't reference it, but he hops, he has, he hopped into the lake naked and then hopped out to fight.
00:28:25
Speaker
And everything from here on out is a fight of some kind or another where he isn't putting on underpants.
00:28:32
Speaker
So our prince is nude this entire time.
00:28:35
Speaker
He's as nude as Viggo Mortensen as a Russian mobster.
00:28:38
Speaker
That's just what it is.
00:28:40
Speaker
So he is shocked, shocked, I tell you,
00:28:44
Speaker
To find that Red Hassa is a much better fighter than him.
00:28:49
Speaker
Yeah, it's like basically.
00:28:51
Speaker
Yeah, basically we find out that his entire life is a lie.
00:28:56
Speaker
People have been just letting him win his entire the entire time.
00:29:00
Speaker
Even the battles he fought in were setups by his dad to make him feel like he was like doing something.
00:29:10
Speaker
Like that fight, you weren't fighting soldiers.
00:29:13
Speaker
You were fighting like prisoners who were like drunk.
00:29:19
Speaker
That's what you, they were not elite troopers that like we told you.
00:29:24
Speaker
And that's the thing.
00:29:24
Speaker
And she tells him basically everything that we've ever wanted to tell a mediocre white guy.
00:29:29
Speaker
It's, it's, she just unloads on him.
00:29:32
Speaker
And it, it actually leads to what I think is the funniest part of this book.
00:29:37
Speaker
Where he's hearing all of this and he says, wow, she's not just evil.
00:29:43
Speaker
Because he's like, he can't.
00:29:47
Speaker
He's so deep into his delusions that he's like, wow, she's nuts.
00:29:51
Speaker
She's completely off her rocker if she thinks that.
00:29:54
Speaker
Yeah, that can't be true.
00:29:58
Speaker
My dad would never do that.
00:30:01
Speaker
And she just proves her point by just very easily whipping his ass.
00:30:06
Speaker
Cut to the emperor sitting on the throne and be like, you know, I don't really care for Etribus.
00:30:14
Speaker
With a vodka tonic.
00:30:17
Speaker
I don't care for Etribus.
00:30:19
Speaker
I like to call him Trib.
00:30:31
Speaker
So he ends up getting saved by Sewell, our other character who we haven't seen since the very beginning of part one.
00:30:40
Speaker
Who's a dark elf who comes in and just dies.
00:30:44
Speaker
annihilates the bandits that have had him he kills all of them like uh red hasa who you think you like for some reason you're like oh she's gonna be a character nope no he kills the shit out of her kills the shit out of her oh my god and like he at one point etrobus is like i should i i feel bad because she was hot or something like that yeah yeah
00:31:11
Speaker
He kind of implies that they slept together.
00:31:15
Speaker
Which I missed, I guess.
00:31:16
Speaker
I don't remember that either.
00:31:19
Speaker
Again, the main issue with the book.
00:31:23
Speaker
It's like a level 20 character coming in and just beating up on some level twos.
00:31:30
Speaker
Like if you were a level one character and you were fighting a level five character, you'd be like, oh, wow, this guy's a killer.
00:31:37
Speaker
Absolutely annihilated.
00:31:39
Speaker
He's like he has initiative.
00:31:41
Speaker
Also, he has an action and like two legendary actions that he can take.
00:31:47
Speaker
Just just just just like the smearing on the bottom of his boot.
00:31:51
Speaker
He just absolutely destroys them.
00:31:55
Speaker
He tells the prince that he's there to save him, that their destinies are linked.
00:32:01
Speaker
He doesn't know why Azura, he doesn't, he never says Azura, but we know that he's a worshiper of Azura.
00:32:07
Speaker
And he doesn't know what's going on, but he knows that they're linked.
00:32:11
Speaker
And so we're going to have to go to this floating island together, to which the prince says, okay, can I get dressed?
00:32:21
Speaker
And he goes, yeah, sure, if you have to.
00:32:25
Speaker
Prince, this is the only time he finally puts on some pants, is my point.
00:32:31
Speaker
We get to chapter seven, and I am delighted to find out that we've got another Colin chapter.
00:32:37
Speaker
He's going to be debriefed by his superior, and he's shocked to find that he's actually getting debriefed not just by his superior, but by the emperor himself.
00:32:48
Speaker
He tells the emperor, he tells him everything that
00:32:52
Speaker
he thinks like that this is not what it seems to be.
00:32:55
Speaker
I think your son's alive.
00:32:57
Speaker
Uh, I don't think that it was these rebels that did it.
00:33:00
Speaker
He just, he gives him the whole low down and he does it.
00:33:04
Speaker
Uh, and he, and he, and he like corrects his direct boss several times.
00:33:09
Speaker
Uh, and, and he gets, and after the emperor leaves, he basically is scolded.
00:33:14
Speaker
for breaking the chain of command.
00:33:16
Speaker
And he's like, well, I would have told you first, but you brought me in to the emperor right away.
00:33:22
Speaker
What am I going to do?
00:33:23
Speaker
I'm going to tell you instead of the emperor, you know, again, a much more interesting book than the rest of the that's so much more interesting.
00:33:34
Speaker
Here's here's workshopping this opinion on the book.
00:33:38
Speaker
The individual plots are actually very good.
00:33:43
Speaker
But they don't belong together.
00:33:46
Speaker
They belong as three different attempts at a story, maybe even a Rashomon type weird ass thing, all telling different story.
00:33:56
Speaker
But like not together.
00:33:59
Speaker
And not with that part one, like part one was such a weird hodgepodge of stuff that we are now in part two.
00:34:11
Speaker
And that's I like part two, kind of, because we have some interesting shit happening.
00:34:18
Speaker
Yes, it's way better than part one.
00:34:22
Speaker
And it also doesn't like devolve into some weirdly confusing shit where like, what's happening?
00:34:28
Speaker
That's where the stuff comes out and stuff fell out.
00:34:34
Speaker
We don't get any, we don't get any moments like that here.
00:34:39
Speaker
But it's still, it's still just doesn't quite work.
00:34:44
Speaker
So yeah, Colin's character, his, I think, I think you're right.
00:34:48
Speaker
I think everyone's,
00:34:49
Speaker
I think this is one of those situations where when I was a kid at school and I got a sandwich at my lunch, I was one of those kids that took the sandwich apart and ate the cheese alone and ate the meat alone and ate the bread alone, ate each individual piece by itself.
00:35:03
Speaker
And I think that's, this is, this is one of those moments that that's the best way to eat the sandwich.
00:35:09
Speaker
Unfortunately, the sandwich is like held together with like,
00:35:13
Speaker
day-old mayonnaise and tar.
00:35:18
Speaker
And to top it off, the portions are so small.
00:35:21
Speaker
So it's just not satisfying.
00:35:24
Speaker
It's not high quality.
00:35:26
Speaker
You have to dig that bologna out of some really old mayonnaise.
00:35:34
Speaker
It's a strata at this point.
00:35:36
Speaker
It's just hard to fossilize.
00:35:37
Speaker
You take the bologna to the bathroom and you...
00:35:41
Speaker
You put it under the sink and you start washing it off and you got your bologna all flopping around with with the mayonnaise is splattering.
00:35:51
Speaker
It's on your shirt now.
00:35:52
Speaker
Now you got a mayo shirt.
00:35:54
Speaker
You got a mayo shirt.
00:35:55
Speaker
You got a mayo shirt.
00:35:57
Speaker
But you got you cleaned your bologna.
00:36:01
Speaker
And then you eat it and you realize the bologna is also old.
00:36:07
Speaker
It's, it's, it's, it's, you, it's, you look at that sandwich and say the same thing that I look, I say about this book where you say, this was good once.
00:36:16
Speaker
Um, I have a feeling this was good once.
00:36:20
Speaker
I don't have any proof, but I got, I don't have any proof, but it's, it's real vibes, you know, real vibes, real vibes.
00:36:27
Speaker
Colin goes down to the local bar where he meets an old friend of his.
00:36:33
Speaker
We don't get a lot of the details about how they know each other, but they haven't seen each other in forever.
00:36:38
Speaker
And the guy, I think they say he's like a guard at the castle, but he's like low-end guard.
00:36:46
Speaker
And he realizes through just like context clues that Colin is one of the specters, as he calls them.
00:36:55
Speaker
And it's kind of blown away by that.
00:36:57
Speaker
they talk a little bit about, he fills him in.
00:37:00
Speaker
And as you said, Kevin, it's another moment where it's like, we know all this stuff already, but we watch as Colin gets filled in on the prince being a big fakey fakerson.
00:37:11
Speaker
And how no one really respected him.
00:37:13
Speaker
And his guardsmen were like,
00:37:17
Speaker
fine with him but just didn't really they didn't mire him the way Colin thinks he Colin thinks everybody loves like all the guards love him and meanwhile the guards were like yeah I mean we're paid to like him right that's exactly it yeah and and he finds that out and and implies that this is it helps him uh uh put together a piece of the puzzle that was missing um I get to chapter eight a neg is making catfish uh for her
00:37:48
Speaker
She's making catfish for this guy now.
00:37:52
Speaker
We find out that they've done very well.
00:37:55
Speaker
The past few meals have all been beloved.
00:38:01
Speaker
And so her name is getting around, and that's not as good a thing as she thinks it is.
00:38:08
Speaker
She finally hears from Prince Etrobus now that he has been rescued by Sol.
00:38:13
Speaker
And he seems different.
00:38:15
Speaker
She talks a lot about how he doesn't seem as confident as he did before.
00:38:21
Speaker
And she's like, you're still going to help me, right?
00:38:24
Speaker
And he's like, uh...
00:38:32
Speaker
I'll get there eventually.
00:38:33
Speaker
And she's like, okay.
00:38:44
Speaker
It's just, it's just so bad.
00:38:47
Speaker
It's like, she's like, okay.
00:38:50
Speaker
And you can tell she's got misgivings about it.
00:38:52
Speaker
But she is, but she doesn't care because she's starstruck because he like told her,
00:38:56
Speaker
stop calling me your highness.
00:38:57
Speaker
Call me, you know, a trebus or treb as my friends call it.
00:39:01
Speaker
And she's like, I'm friends with the prince.
00:39:03
Speaker
Like, yeah, she's got, she's the girl who had like posters of Prince William on her, on her, you know, bedroom.
00:39:13
Speaker
Back when you looked at him, you went, oh, yeah, I see how he brought down Middleton.
00:39:19
Speaker
That makes perfect sense.
00:39:24
Speaker
He went from looking the beauty of his mother to his father.
00:39:40
Speaker
He just, he, he slowly becomes his dad.
00:39:44
Speaker
It's kind of what happened to, uh, I don't know if you're a jackass guy.
00:39:47
Speaker
I mean, you're from that area.
00:39:49
Speaker
So, uh, but, um, Bam Margera is gradually morphing into his dad.
00:39:54
Speaker
He's turning into Phil.
00:39:56
Speaker
It's, it's, and cause you used to, it used to be, you'd watch.
00:40:00
Speaker
You know, he's got those cum gutters and he's just like the skateboarding lean kind of dude.
00:40:04
Speaker
And you're like, how does that guy come from Phil?
00:40:08
Speaker
And now you're like, oh, I see.
00:40:13
Speaker
Yeah, no, it comes for us all.
00:40:18
Speaker
It cum gutters for us all.
00:40:21
Speaker
Yeah, it was funny.
00:40:23
Speaker
My wife told me she used to hang out with Bam Margera when she was in high school.
00:40:32
Speaker
I bet he was a total dick.
00:40:33
Speaker
Oh, I don't doubt it.
00:40:37
Speaker
I love Jackass, but I bet he was a prick.
00:40:44
Speaker
I think it's the only crossover between Tony Hawk Pro Skater and Jackass, right?
00:40:52
Speaker
oh yeah i think i'm um yeah he he i think he was the only one who was a pro pro i think a lot of them um were skating on one on one level or another but i think he was like the pro right uh was he with them during the camp kill yourself anyway he started the camp kill yourself thing oh got it so yeah that was that was him uh that was him jackass is basically what happened when you took
00:41:16
Speaker
can't kill yourself and put in the stuff that Johnny Knoxville was doing.
00:41:21
Speaker
Yeah, this the stuntman type stuff.
00:41:26
Speaker
In fact, like the first season of Jackass, a lot of that is just rehashed.
00:41:31
Speaker
Can't kill yourself stuff.
00:41:33
Speaker
Not straight up taken from it.
00:41:37
Speaker
Anyway, I really like Jackass.
00:41:39
Speaker
We could do a Jackass like rewatch pod.
00:41:45
Speaker
Oh my God, I would do that in a second.
00:41:53
Speaker
My wife and I, for a while there, when we were, it was just the two of us and we didn't have a kid to worry about.
00:42:03
Speaker
We were very fond of picking themes for the movies we were going to watch every month.
00:42:10
Speaker
And so like one month would be like Western.
00:42:12
Speaker
So we'd all, we'd watch nothing but Westerns all, all month, you know, or, you know, we pick a theme and one month we were really proud of this one.
00:42:22
Speaker
We, we said, we're going to watch.
00:42:24
Speaker
stereotypically male and stereotypically female.
00:42:31
Speaker
I remember this stuff.
00:42:32
Speaker
And Emily had never seen Jackass before.
00:42:35
Speaker
And she was, I was like, it's really funny.
00:42:38
Speaker
They're really, they're, they're swell.
00:42:40
Speaker
They're really cool guys.
00:42:41
Speaker
And she's like, I just don't, I don't care.
00:42:44
Speaker
I don't, I just did this.
00:42:46
Speaker
They seem like assholes and dah, dah, dah.
00:42:48
Speaker
And I'm like, well, they, they kind of are, but it's, but it's,
00:42:51
Speaker
But they're sweet.
00:42:51
Speaker
You know, they're they're.
00:42:53
Speaker
I mean, like some of them are are real life assholes and some of them are nice.
00:42:57
Speaker
You know, exactly.
00:43:01
Speaker
And so we watched for that challenge.
00:43:04
Speaker
I was like, well, we're going to watch Jackass.
00:43:06
Speaker
We're going to watch the movie, the first one.
00:43:08
Speaker
And we watched it.
00:43:09
Speaker
And Emily about died laughing.
00:43:14
Speaker
And she because she thought I don't know how it happened.
00:43:18
Speaker
But she was under the impression that they were like frat boy bro dozer types.
00:43:25
Speaker
And I was like, oh, no.
00:43:26
Speaker
And she goes, yeah, I was so confused as to why you liked these guys because they just I didn't think they're like, that's not your style at all.
00:43:34
Speaker
No, these they they they came up.
00:43:38
Speaker
They bubbled up from the burnouts in the skaters.
00:43:42
Speaker
That's exactly what it is.
00:43:43
Speaker
They are burnouts, all of them.
00:43:45
Speaker
And, and, and so now, now we watch Jack has to relax.
00:43:49
Speaker
Like it's, it's our favorite thing to, to help relax.
00:43:52
Speaker
But so, so yeah, that's, I would, so yes, I would absolutely watch a, I would actually absolutely take part in a rewatch of that.
00:44:03
Speaker
Catfish, catfish for the Lord.
00:44:05
Speaker
That's catfish for the Lord.
00:44:06
Speaker
Catfish for the Lord.
00:44:08
Speaker
So that's what an egg's making.
00:44:10
Speaker
And the prince talks to an egg, et cetera.
00:44:12
Speaker
I already went into it.
00:44:14
Speaker
So after that's done, we cut to the prince who has just gotten off the phone basically with an egg.
00:44:21
Speaker
And Sol has been watching this entire time.
00:44:24
Speaker
And Sol just basically lets him have it.
00:44:26
Speaker
He goes, you know, you really do suck.
00:44:30
Speaker
You really do suck.
00:44:31
Speaker
I need you to know that I heard everything that she was saying to you.
00:44:36
Speaker
And it's all true.
00:44:41
Speaker
Everything that whatever Radia or Radhasa, Radhasa, everything Radhasa said to you is true.
00:44:50
Speaker
Yeah, you're dumb.
00:44:51
Speaker
You're bad at your job.
00:44:53
Speaker
You're you're you are a spoiled little rich boy who can't fight.
00:44:57
Speaker
You're a virgin who can't drive.
00:45:00
Speaker
And you are a couch fucker.
00:45:02
Speaker
Yeah, that's exactly it.
00:45:05
Speaker
And so the prince and egg is โ prince and egg.
00:45:08
Speaker
That's a new thing.
00:45:10
Speaker
Prince Etrobus is just, again, horrified.
00:45:13
Speaker
And he's like, why are you doing this?
00:45:16
Speaker
And Sol says, I need โ we're linked together.
00:45:23
Speaker
But I know what's going to happen.
00:45:26
Speaker
You are going to โ the branch โ I think what he says is the branch has so much weight on it now.
00:45:32
Speaker
Because you've heard all this shit that you've never heard before.
00:45:35
Speaker
And eventually, the branch will snap.
00:45:38
Speaker
And when you snap, I need to know if you'll be useful to me.
00:45:44
Speaker
If I can count on you in any way, shape, or form.
00:45:48
Speaker
And right now, probably not.
00:45:52
Speaker
So he's worried that it's going to fuck up his chances of bringing this floating island down.
00:45:57
Speaker
We come back to an egg, and a kitchen war breaks out.
00:46:03
Speaker
This is such a funny, crazy idea.
00:46:07
Speaker
A legitimate kitchen war where the chefs are murdering each other.
00:46:13
Speaker
So this rival chef gang has heard that basically they are there to try and kidnap her because she's been doing so well.
00:46:24
Speaker
And they're like, we need her on our team.
00:46:27
Speaker
This huge fight breaks out that includes them sealing off their kitchen while it goes fucking nuclear in there.
00:46:36
Speaker
And they're like, yeah, everything in there is going to โ anything that doesn't die from the fire and the gas and everything that's in there is about to pop through that door and we need to kill it as fast as possible.
00:46:47
Speaker
And it doesn't work out.
00:46:49
Speaker
Uh, they, they're evaded.
00:46:51
Speaker
Uh, Kine is killed by slur.
00:46:53
Speaker
The, uh, by she's fragged out.
00:46:55
Speaker
She's if it's friendly fire, he just kind of takes it.
00:46:58
Speaker
He doesn't, he hasn't gotten into it yet.
00:47:00
Speaker
They, we don't, we don't find out like what his thoughts on it are.
00:47:03
Speaker
But he was just like, I'm going to kill her because I have the chance.
00:47:06
Speaker
He has the chance.
00:47:07
Speaker
I mean, I mean, I get it.
00:47:08
Speaker
I totally, she has, she is a psychopath and has killed a lot of, uh, other people.
00:47:15
Speaker
So, I mean, I get it, but we never find out his specifics.
00:47:19
Speaker
And by the time it's all over, a new chef, you get the impression it's like a nicer kitchen.
00:47:26
Speaker
He's kind of more hoity-toity.
00:47:29
Speaker
And he tells them, yeah, you guys work for me now.
00:47:38
Speaker
that's that world's version of a promotion.
00:47:42
Speaker
You know, it's like you just get hostily taken from one company to another.
00:47:48
Speaker
Yes, Chef, exactly.
00:47:49
Speaker
And by the way, some of the way people were getting killed was like they were getting melted.
00:47:54
Speaker
Like, it was like one person gets like acid thrown in their face and like the person's face started melting into yellow worms.
00:48:03
Speaker
And I was like, what?
00:48:07
Speaker
It's surrealist shit.
00:48:11
Speaker
It is a great fight and it's a great scene and it would have killed a guy.
00:48:19
Speaker
what it is it's that level of unhinged yeah it's basically it's basically like slur killed a guy yeah i did i killed the kind i killed kind i had an axe and i killed her with an axe that escalated quickly yeah that's exactly it
00:48:37
Speaker
And it's just another example of like, this would have been so much better if this book was just the adventures of rival kitchen gangs.
00:48:48
Speaker
I'd read 500 pages of that.
00:48:52
Speaker
That sounds great.
00:48:56
Speaker
Oh, the things we lost somewhere.
00:48:58
Speaker
The things we lost somewhere along the way.
00:49:00
Speaker
Somewhere along the way.
00:49:04
Speaker
We cut to chapter nine, soul and Etrobus.
00:49:06
Speaker
They are passing through kind of a wasteland area and they are approached by a tribe of Khajiit who are very tribal.
00:49:15
Speaker
Uh, we get a lot of, there's a lot of, uh, native Aboriginal kind of, uh, of vibes to them.
00:49:22
Speaker
And, uh, and they, uh, they basically, they, they offer their protection, you know, in the same way that a mob boss offers his protection.
00:49:32
Speaker
And they're like, yeah.
00:49:34
Speaker
And Sul knows his way around the Khajiit and their culture.
00:49:39
Speaker
And he says, I accept.
00:49:42
Speaker
And of course, I'm going to offer you kemaath, which is their word for moon sugar, which is the drug that they make skuma out of.
00:49:53
Speaker
So it's a very big thing there.
00:49:56
Speaker
And it's a big part of Khajiit culture.
00:50:02
Speaker
So they have this, again, we have kind of a interesting native kind of naming ceremony where they're introducing themselves around the fire and taking some drugs.
00:50:12
Speaker
And one of the more interesting aspects of this is when they show up, they have cat mounts that are, that are, they're, they're gigantic cats that they ride like horses.
00:50:25
Speaker
They're like a cross between a cat and an ape and they name them.
00:50:29
Speaker
And through the naming process, you find out that these mounts are actually related to them somehow.
00:50:37
Speaker
They are just a different kind of Khajiit, and they are actually related to the people who ride them.
00:50:41
Speaker
So they're not a horse in the strictest sense.
00:50:45
Speaker
They're a family member.
00:50:46
Speaker
It's like their cousin.
00:50:49
Speaker
It's like if your cousin was big enough to let you ride on his shoulders while you killed people with a bow.
00:50:57
Speaker
It's that, which he might be.
00:50:59
Speaker
Um, it's that kind of thing.
00:51:00
Speaker
Uh, I thought that was a really interesting detail.
00:51:04
Speaker
Um, so they make a deal, uh, uh, you know, that, okay, we're gonna, yeah.
00:51:10
Speaker
In exchange for your protection, big finger quotes, uh, uh, we're going to go to the next town over where they have been banned.
00:51:19
Speaker
Uh, they're not allowed to live there.
00:51:21
Speaker
Uh, and we'll, we'll get you some moon sugar.
00:51:24
Speaker
Um, and, and, and as a thank you.
00:51:26
Speaker
And they're like, great, this is going to work out fine.
00:51:30
Speaker
So Entrobus is pissed about this.
00:51:33
Speaker
He's like, this is a huge detour.
00:51:35
Speaker
And I don't know why we're doing it.
00:51:37
Speaker
He's pissed about it right up until Sol admits that he's lying.
00:51:41
Speaker
I'm not going to do that.
00:51:42
Speaker
Are you fucking crazy?
00:51:43
Speaker
I'm just telling them what they want to hear.
00:51:45
Speaker
And we're just going to keep moving.
00:51:47
Speaker
And then Atrovis is pissed about that.
00:51:49
Speaker
Because he's like, you made an oath.
00:51:51
Speaker
You're going to break this oath?
00:51:54
Speaker
And he's like, God, shut up.
00:51:57
Speaker
And this is where he starts to break down.
00:51:59
Speaker
He's been thinking way too much about what a loser he is.
00:52:03
Speaker
And oh my God, is this true?
00:52:06
Speaker
Oh, it's true, isn't it?
00:52:08
Speaker
And this is where he's starting to break down.
00:52:11
Speaker
And he kind of has a hissy fit and says, why do you think I'm so stupid?
00:52:16
Speaker
Why are you bringing me, man?
00:52:18
Speaker
Why am I even here?
00:52:19
Speaker
Why are we even doing this?
00:52:21
Speaker
And Sol reveals that the whole reason he wants to destroy this floating island, it is a city, I will remind you.
00:52:30
Speaker
He wants to blow up the entire thing
00:52:32
Speaker
Because somebody on that island, one person on that island is one of the people who's responsible for killing his family and destroying his home and the Red Mountain and Morrowind, basically.
00:52:48
Speaker
There's one guy on this island who's responsible for all that, and I'm going to kill every person on this island and destroy the island just so I know that this guy dies.
00:52:59
Speaker
which is thorough, I suppose.
00:53:03
Speaker
You know, he's just got to take care of it, you know?
00:53:06
Speaker
He's just got to make it happen.
00:53:08
Speaker
And you can't fault him for thoroughness.
00:53:12
Speaker
So they have to go to Morrowind before the floating island.
00:53:18
Speaker
And Sol is all mysterious as to why it's not clear.
00:53:23
Speaker
But they got to go there first.
00:53:24
Speaker
And Etrovis is like, we're wasting time.
00:53:25
Speaker
He's like, no, we're not.
00:53:28
Speaker
And they get into a big argument and there's this big discussion about like Etrobus saying like, I'm not this guy.
00:53:35
Speaker
They want me to be this guy and I'm not this guy.
00:53:37
Speaker
And, and, and soul is so fucking sick of him.
00:53:40
Speaker
He's so over and he goes, well, then fucking be that guy.
00:53:43
Speaker
Learn how to be that guy.
00:53:44
Speaker
It's like, here's the, here's the thing.
00:53:46
Speaker
The majority of people think that you're awesome.
00:53:49
Speaker
They ha they have gotten the propaganda story.
00:53:52
Speaker
They know they don't, they don't know.
00:53:54
Speaker
that deep down inside you're a crying little girl.
00:53:58
Speaker
It was just, you know, they don't, they don't know that most people don't know that the only thing they don't know you suck.
00:54:03
Speaker
They don't know you suck.
00:54:04
Speaker
The only people who know you suck is like your dad, but all of our dads know we suck.
00:54:07
Speaker
So it's whatever, you know, that's, that's, Hey, welcome to the club, buddy.
00:54:13
Speaker
Welcome to having a dad.
00:54:15
Speaker
That's just how this works.
00:54:17
Speaker
And so he's like, so why don't you just fucking try now?
00:54:21
Speaker
Now you can actually try.
00:54:22
Speaker
And in the meantime, I can use you because people don't know you suck and they know you're the prince.
00:54:30
Speaker
And so we can take advantage of that.
00:54:31
Speaker
For example, we're going to have to go buy moon sugar and I need your help because he feels bad about the whole.
00:54:38
Speaker
It's like, all right, fine.
00:54:39
Speaker
He's like, yeah, because we're going to go do it and we're going to live up to our end of the deal.
00:54:45
Speaker
So we find out, we watch as... You know what's funny?
00:54:50
Speaker
It's like the moon sugar stuff.
00:54:51
Speaker
It's basically like buying fucking... What's the decongestant?
00:55:00
Speaker
It's basically buying Sudafed to make meth.
00:55:03
Speaker
That's basically the...
00:55:06
Speaker
Everyone knows what you're doing when you're buying a, you know, a 30,000 pack of suit fed.
00:55:14
Speaker
They know what you're doing.
00:55:16
Speaker
And so he, this is a funny detail.
00:55:19
Speaker
He, he they go to the merchants and, and he's like, look, he goes, okay, that's the guy who's selling it.
00:55:24
Speaker
I need, here's the money.
00:55:25
Speaker
I need you to go buy it.
00:55:27
Speaker
And the princess is like, but there are all those people there.
00:55:30
Speaker
And he's like, oh, you've never waited in line for anything.
00:55:34
Speaker
You don't even know how that works.
00:55:36
Speaker
He's like, yeah, I don't know what we're talking about.
00:55:38
Speaker
And he's like, yeah, you have to wait in line.
00:55:40
Speaker
So he experiences waiting in line for the first time, which is hilarious.
00:55:44
Speaker
And he buys some he buys some moon sugar.
00:55:48
Speaker
So they buy the sugar.
00:55:50
Speaker
And he's forced to sign a document.
00:55:54
Speaker
It's basically like he has to ask the guy at CVS to open the, the, the, the locker to get the stuff behind glass.
00:56:06
Speaker
Yeah, that's exactly.
00:56:07
Speaker
And he, and he does, and he kind of has some misgivings, but he's like, ah, fuck it.
00:56:11
Speaker
And he signs his name, uh, which is some stupid shit.
00:56:15
Speaker
Um, and, and we find out because they head back to the, where they left the Khajiit tribe,
00:56:21
Speaker
They almost immediately realize something's wrong and the cops show up and, and, and they're the, the, the local constables.
00:56:31
Speaker
And this is absolutely about them buying moon sugar for Khajiit.
00:56:37
Speaker
Why is this part of our storyline?
00:56:39
Speaker
Holy fucking shit.
00:56:40
Speaker
We have 100 pages left.
00:56:43
Speaker
Why are we introducing new complications?
00:56:45
Speaker
Anyway, that's the end of part two.
00:56:50
Speaker
It's not nearly as bad as part one when it comes to the nonsensical stuff, but I don't know.
00:56:55
Speaker
What do you think, Kevin?
00:56:56
Speaker
How did you like it?
00:56:57
Speaker
I mean, there's a lot of individual things about part two that I like.
00:57:00
Speaker
And I was like, oh, man, like I've already said, like, these would be great as their own stories or what have you.
00:57:07
Speaker
But yeah, I agree.
00:57:08
Speaker
At the end of part two, I finished part two.
00:57:10
Speaker
And then earlier today I texted you.
00:57:12
Speaker
I was like, how the fuck is he going to wrap this up in 100 pages?
00:57:15
Speaker
None of our characters are even remotely close to doing the shit they need to do.
00:57:23
Speaker
to finish the story.
00:57:26
Speaker
Like Colin is like, and we barely got started on, on the mystery Collins little mystery tour, right?
00:57:35
Speaker
Colin just got out of his individual act one.
00:57:39
Speaker
He just got out of his act one and he has to go through his C plot two and X two and three in just part three.
00:57:46
Speaker
And what the fuck we do?
00:57:48
Speaker
We got too many characters whose story progress is like, you know, it feels like 15 percent and we're going to get to 100 percent by the end of act three.
00:57:59
Speaker
You know, I have my doubts as to whether that's going to happen.
00:58:03
Speaker
So and and they have and they there is a sequel to this book, but that's the thing.
00:58:09
Speaker
if this, if there's still no way that you can gracefully end this, uh, on some sort of cliffhanger, uh, that would be satisfying.
00:58:19
Speaker
Uh, I would love to be proven wrong on that, but so far I have my doubts.
00:58:27
Speaker
So I, I am in total agreement.
00:58:29
Speaker
I don't know how this is going to work out.
00:58:32
Speaker
I'm so frustrated because so many individual pieces of this are really fun.
00:58:37
Speaker
And again, Craig, I, and I'm standing by my theory.
00:58:41
Speaker
I think Greg keys is a very good writer.
00:58:44
Speaker
Um, and I think that he turned in, uh, you know, a hundred and a hundred thousand, 120,000 words or something like that.
00:58:51
Speaker
And they're like, yeah, you need to take off like 40 of these.
00:58:56
Speaker
Uh, and, and he had to scramble to make it happen somehow.
00:59:00
Speaker
And, and I, it just feels like shit got left on the cutting room floor.
00:59:06
Speaker
And it just doesn't feel finished.
00:59:09
Speaker
It feels like there's a lot more that we're not getting.
00:59:12
Speaker
And I just, the stuff I've seen where it works from this guy, it really, really works.
00:59:19
Speaker
So I'm just, I refuse to believe that
00:59:22
Speaker
it comes from his incompetence.
00:59:24
Speaker
I don't, I, I think that, I think that he got fucked somehow.
00:59:28
Speaker
That's my theory right now.
00:59:31
Speaker
I'm going to reach out to him.
00:59:33
Speaker
I don't know if we want to interview him with that theory.
00:59:36
Speaker
I don't know if we want to lead with that, but I might, but I might email and be like, so tell me the truth though.
00:59:41
Speaker
Tell me the truth.
00:59:41
Speaker
You're, you're probably statute of limitations is over on that thing.
00:59:45
Speaker
Tell me the truth.
00:59:50
Speaker
Speaking of what happened, Kevin, I have one final question to ask you.
00:59:56
Speaker
What are you playing?
00:59:58
Speaker
Oh, well, I'm playing Silksong.
01:00:05
Speaker
Hollow Knight Silksong came out, I guess, 10 days ago.
01:00:11
Speaker
Yeah, 10 days ago.
01:00:14
Speaker
And I have been dedicating every minute that I can play video games to Silksong.
01:00:23
Speaker
I know there's discourse about the difficulty and yada, yada, yada.
01:00:29
Speaker
But I am having a tremendous time with it.
01:00:33
Speaker
It's one of those games like certain games just hit me in the right spot and I'm not even like rushing to finish it.
01:00:43
Speaker
I'm just going through and I'm tying up loose ends.
01:00:47
Speaker
I'm doing little quests because I'm just enjoying being in the in the world of the game.
01:00:54
Speaker
So I'm going through and I'm buying all the stuff from all the merchants, you know, I'm.
01:01:02
Speaker
I heard tell of a that there is actually like a hidden act three to the game.
01:01:08
Speaker
Like you can you can finish the game.
01:01:09
Speaker
You can roll credits at the end of act to beat the final boss and you could be done or you could do the Dracula's inverted castle and do the real shit.
01:01:20
Speaker
There's another like another, you know, chunk of the game where you can go into it.
01:01:24
Speaker
Yeah, which I love.
01:01:26
Speaker
I love shit like that.
01:01:28
Speaker
Like Dracula's Inverted Castle, you know, referring to the Castlevania Symphony of the Night.
01:01:36
Speaker
You know, that blew my mind when, you know, I was however old I was 13, you know, when that game came out.
01:01:45
Speaker
Finding out that there was like an entire second half to the game.
01:01:50
Speaker
Uh, and if you didn't know how to do it, you were just like, Oh, I beat the game.
01:01:56
Speaker
And then they go by the way.
01:01:59
Speaker
And then by the way, there's a second half to the game.
01:02:03
Speaker
So it's not a second half in Silksong, but there's more.
01:02:06
Speaker
So I'm taking my time finding out all the stuff that I need to do to get into that.
01:02:12
Speaker
Having a great time.
01:02:13
Speaker
Having a wonderful time over here.
01:02:15
Speaker
So it was worth the wait.
01:02:22
Speaker
A good game at the end really solves a lot of any issues that you might have had with the weight.
01:02:34
Speaker
But yeah, no, it's it's been good.
01:02:36
Speaker
And, you know, I'm I'm looking at the games that I'll be probably playing next.
01:02:41
Speaker
Hell is Us is on my list to play.
01:02:47
Speaker
And also, by the end of the month, we're getting what's shaping up to be a new entry, a new good entry in the Silent Hill franchise.
01:03:01
Speaker
Silent Hill F, which will be coming out.
01:03:05
Speaker
Famously, as of we're recording this today, there was a review that got posted on Reddit by somebody who was reviewing it for...
01:03:17
Speaker
for a website and like, oh, you, oh, sweetie, you shouldn't have posted that because the embargo is not up for another week.
01:03:27
Speaker
It's a positive review, I'm assuming.
01:03:30
Speaker
It was a very positive.
01:03:31
Speaker
They reviewed, they rated it 9.5 out of 10.
01:03:39
Speaker
They said to keep in mind the content warnings.
01:03:47
Speaker
Here's the content warnings for this game.
01:03:52
Speaker
Don't sleep on them because they got a lot of stuff going on.
01:03:57
Speaker
And that's what they're there for.
01:03:58
Speaker
That's what they're there for.
01:04:01
Speaker
That's what people want.
01:04:02
Speaker
That's all they want.
01:04:04
Speaker
Yeah, I'm trying to find... I wrote them down somewhere.
01:04:13
Speaker
What are the content warnings?
01:04:15
Speaker
Okay, gender discrimination, child abuse, bullying, drug-induced hallucinations, torture, and graphic violence.
01:04:23
Speaker
Okay, that all sounds... That tracks.
01:04:29
Speaker
That tracks for the type of game that we're in.
01:04:33
Speaker
For Silent Hill, that tracks.
01:04:38
Speaker
Aside from Silksong, just Silk and songing my way through Silksong.
01:04:44
Speaker
Phil, what are you playing?
01:04:49
Speaker
I have not had much playing.
01:04:52
Speaker
I'm still playing The King is Watching.
01:04:54
Speaker
That has been a real...
01:04:57
Speaker
time sink for me, uh, while I'm unpacking shit and I can, you know, I can get a little, I can get like a, uh, you know, a wave in and then go unpack another box and that kind of thing.
01:05:10
Speaker
And that's really good.
01:05:11
Speaker
Um, I have the play test for the prologue for go way back, uh, which looks like a lot of fun.
01:05:23
Speaker
I'm looking for, I'm looking forward to play.
01:05:24
Speaker
It's player unknown.
01:05:26
Speaker
Uh, the people who did a pub G and it's a survive, it's a survival game.
01:05:30
Speaker
Like it's open world.
01:05:33
Speaker
Uh, every it's a roguelike.
01:05:34
Speaker
So every world is different and you're just trying to survive.
01:05:39
Speaker
It's, it's kind of, um, it's, it's like the long dark and stuff like that.
01:05:44
Speaker
Um, and it looks really interesting and really well done.
01:05:47
Speaker
Uh, I haven't played it yet, but, uh, I'm going to,
01:05:49
Speaker
do this play test and see how it feels.
01:05:54
Speaker
And I've also convinced myself that after I'm done with Rogue Trader on some of which I'm obviously still playing, I'm going to get into one of the gold box games, one of the old D&D gold box games.
01:06:08
Speaker
Oh, which one are you thinking of?
01:06:11
Speaker
I have been told, because I never played any of them, I played the Sega Genesis D&D game that came out
01:06:18
Speaker
and really loved it.
01:06:19
Speaker
And I have been told that the Eye of the Beholder trilogy is a good place.
01:06:27
Speaker
It's one of the ones that has translated.
01:06:30
Speaker
It's aged better than a lot of the other ones.
01:06:33
Speaker
So I'm thinking it's the Forgotten Realms game.
01:06:36
Speaker
So I think I'm going to start with that one and just see how it feels, see how it does.
01:06:42
Speaker
Because I'm desperate for more just good
01:06:46
Speaker
D&D, like, I've just been really, really needing some old school D&D shit lately.
01:06:55
Speaker
That's been something that I really crave lately.
01:07:01
Speaker
Yeah, and I've also been painting minis like crazy lately.
01:07:05
Speaker
I've just found a bunch of minis that I forgot about since the last move, and I'm like going through them, like literally looking at them right now, and I just want to paint them
01:07:16
Speaker
Um, and I, I think I'm, I think I'm regressing.
01:07:20
Speaker
Uh, I think it's how my, I think it's how my body responds to stress.
01:07:25
Speaker
It's like, let's, let's remember when we were playing.
01:07:28
Speaker
Do you remember when elf was an entire class?
01:07:30
Speaker
It was, uh, in, in old school, basic D and D. Remember that?
01:07:37
Speaker
Sounds good voice.
01:07:38
Speaker
I mean, let me in.
01:07:40
Speaker
So, yeah, that's, so that's basically where I'm at.
01:07:47
Speaker
Well, thank you all so much for listening tonight.
01:07:51
Speaker
It's always a pleasure when you turn in.
01:07:57
Speaker
Or turn in to bed.
01:08:02
Speaker
If you want to, you can go ahead and find us on social media, Pixlet Pod on any platform.
01:08:11
Speaker
And Phil, how did you pick Graham out from diving down into the sump?
01:08:23
Speaker
What were your choices like when you went down into the sump to pick Graham out?
01:08:29
Speaker
It was actually very interesting.
01:08:31
Speaker
I'm glad you asked.
01:08:32
Speaker
It was very eclectic.
01:08:33
Speaker
I got down there and I was like, you know, this, let's do three.
01:08:36
Speaker
Let's pick three to start with and then go with the best of the three.
01:08:40
Speaker
So the first one was Graham, adorable, pretty blue-eyed baby boy.
01:08:45
Speaker
That sounded pretty good.
01:08:46
Speaker
And my wife had very emphatically hinted at the notion that she'd really prefer it
01:08:56
Speaker
If we had a human baby.
01:08:58
Speaker
And I was like, okay, I get it.
01:09:00
Speaker
The other one was, it's like a, it was a squirrel crossed with a razorback.
01:09:07
Speaker
It was a razor squirrel.
01:09:09
Speaker
And it was, here's the thing, that sounds really cool, but it's really just a squirrel with a great big mohawk tuft up its spine.
01:09:17
Speaker
And I don't need that.
01:09:18
Speaker
I don't need that.
01:09:19
Speaker
The other one though, have you ever seen like,
01:09:25
Speaker
Oh, who's that actress?
01:09:28
Speaker
Jane Mansfield, you know, the old Jane.
01:09:31
Speaker
Just the classic beauty of the age.
01:09:35
Speaker
This one looked, you took Jane Mansfield's head and you put it on a corgi.
01:09:43
Speaker
It was fascinating.
01:09:44
Speaker
And I wasn't, here's the thing.
01:09:46
Speaker
I was not convinced until she looked at me and she said,