Transcript
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: It's just like, oh, it's amazing.
Speaker: It's absolutely the best.
Speaker: That's great.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know what else is the best?
Speaker: What's that?
Speaker: Hey there, everybody.
Speaker: Welcome back to Pixel It.
Speaker: My name is Kevin.
Speaker: And this still picture next to me is Phil.
Speaker: This is what I look like now.
Speaker: Phil moved and his webcam is still in a box somewhere.
Speaker: So we're just rolling with it.
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: I'm not going to.
Speaker: We already did a week, you know, so I could actually do the physical act of moving.
Speaker: I would have called in on my phone if I had to.
Speaker: The show must go on.
Speaker: Show must go on.
Speaker: Phil, how's it going?
Speaker: How's the new house?
Speaker: It's great.
Speaker: I am currently broadcasting, if you will, from the little basement of this place.
Speaker: And that tells you something about how decent the internet we have here is.
Speaker: They got fiber out here.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: So we're rocking and rolling.
Speaker: But yeah, it is...
Speaker: It's so cliche, but it's everything we wanted in a place.
Speaker: We have been having such a good time, and it's only been the first couple of weeks or so.
Speaker: Not even a couple of weeks.
Speaker: This was the first week.
Speaker: This is the first full week.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And Graham was still getting used to it a little bit, but he loves this place.
Speaker: He just runs outside.
Speaker: The cats are different because we've decided to let the cats out.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: They're indoor-outdoor cats now.
Speaker: And it's all Jonesy ever wanted.
Speaker: And he, you've met Jonesy.
Speaker: He's, our nickname at home for him is, he's our troubled idiot.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because he's dumb as hell.
Speaker: And he's also got a lot of, he's cagey.
Speaker: He's got a lot of problems.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And who knew that just letting him outside for the better part of the day, he comes back in in the afternoon, the evening to eat, and then he just stays in.
Speaker: And he's just the happiest I've ever seen him.
Speaker: He gets cuddly and shit.
Speaker: He's never been a cuddly cat.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Like, he's a changed cat.
Speaker: That's amazing.
Speaker: It's crazy.
Speaker: And everybody's, everyone is, so everyone's quality of life just jumped up.
Speaker: So I, of course, had to make my life harder by just fucking up my car this morning.
Speaker: Because I was trying to do a three-point turn.
Speaker: And we've got these great big trees right around where we park.
Speaker: And I rolled over a root that I didn't know was there and it pulled down the panel at the bottom of the car.
Speaker: Oh God.
Speaker: And I, and I was like, fine, I'll fuck it.
Speaker: I'll go to work.
Speaker: And when I come back, I'll, I'll, uh, zip port it, you know, and just, I've done that before it's happened.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: Uh, I didn't consider like a moron, uh, that something might hurt, uh, something under the car because the panel is gone.
Speaker: And then right as I was pulling into parking for work, the AC just stopped and it started blowing hot air and my sensor on the car that tells me what temperature is outside just went blank.
Speaker: So I think I fucked up the condenser or something like that.
Speaker: I went from a $25 problem to a $600 problem.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So,
Speaker: So lesson kids is, uh, just fix the, the $25 problem and don't wait for it to be a $600 problem.
Speaker: No, just don't do it.
Speaker: Just don't do it.
Speaker: Take it from your uncles.
Speaker: We know what we're talking about.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Except for me, who made the problem worse.
Speaker: I didn't know what I was talking about.
Speaker: Now I do.
Speaker: Now you do.
Speaker: Now I do.
Speaker: Speaking of, I'm a few months overdue for an oil change.
Speaker: So that's a good reminder.
Speaker: Well, you know, and the handle, the driver's side handle on my door has been broken since last winter because the door froze up.
Speaker: And when I tried to pull the latch to open the door, something inside of it shattered.
Speaker: And so now to get out of that door, I have to roll down the window and open it from the inside.
Speaker: So I didn't even tell them about that.
Speaker: I figured they're going to find out about it soon enough and probably offer me something to offer me some.
Speaker: kind of payment plan for fixing it.
Speaker: So I might as well find out if it's worth my while or not.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And you know, it's always worth your while is going over to patreon.com slash pixel at pod, where you too can give us money for, for free.
Speaker: You could go on there for free and give us $0, but we appreciate it anyway.
Speaker: you can give us $1 and that gets you the ad-free episode.
Speaker: $5 gets you the bonus episode that we record before the show and $10 gets your name shouted out during every episode.
Speaker: And to that end, I would like to thank Jesus Loves You, Kyle Seaman, Ruthless Mudder, Middle of Things, Sigma Sal, Sanguine Flatulence, Chut Beaks, Demetheck, and Friendly Friend.
Speaker: Thank you so much for being friends.
Speaker: Patreon.com slash PixelitPod.
Speaker: Do it today.
Speaker: Do it today.
Speaker: So, Phil, we're back in this book.
Speaker: We're back in this book.
Speaker: How are we feeling about part two?
Speaker: Do you just want to get into it?
Speaker: Let's barrel into it because... Let's barrel into it.
Speaker: I've got a lot of feelings.
Speaker: This book is making me feel all kinds of ways, and I don't know what to do about it.
Speaker: Yeah, let's put the body in the marsh.
Speaker: Let's marsh up that body.
Speaker: Let's put the body in the black marsh.
Speaker: Ooh, I can't believe... Ah, damn it.
Speaker: I can't believe I didn't even...
Speaker: Somebody walking a fucking dog in three feet a month.
Speaker: What kind of fucking size a dog is that?
Speaker: Yeah, I was told that we should have said that last week by somebody on the Discord, and I'm making up for it now.
Speaker: I'm going to cut myself some slack.
Speaker: That's ridiculous.
Speaker: I can't believe it.
Speaker: Anyway, it doesn't matter.
Speaker: As I pointed out to Kevin, this particular book, it has its weaknesses, but where it makes up for that is in
Speaker: uh, cutting itself precisely into three equal parts, uh, uh, for us to, for the format of our show.
Speaker: So Greg keys, wherever you are, thank you for doing that.
Speaker: A hundred pages apart.
Speaker: Boom.
Speaker: Done.
Speaker: Don't even have to think about it.
Speaker: Perfect.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So we're starting on part two, chapter one.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: We start out with Prince Etribus, who is, if you remember, our only hope.
Speaker: Help me, Obi-Wan.
Speaker: Before an egg sent off the clockwork bird, she was like,
Speaker: We'll just we'll go to the prince.
Speaker: He'll help us, which is kind of help us.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's kind of like you got mugged.
Speaker: And so you send a letter to like the vice president or something like that.
Speaker: And J.D.
Speaker: Vance is not going to help you.
Speaker: He is not going to help you.
Speaker: He actually might do him because right.
Speaker: He's on a war path against the left right now.
Speaker: So, oh, yeah, sure.
Speaker: You know, he might make it worse.
Speaker: He might make it worse.
Speaker: Did you see he hosted Charlie Kirk's show today?
Speaker: By the way, it's been a week.
Speaker: It's been a week.
Speaker: We did not record last week.
Speaker: And things happened.
Speaker: Things happened.
Speaker: We're not stating anything wrong.
Speaker: Uh, opinions of the event, just saying, uh, things happen, you know, that it happens.
Speaker: And, uh, if somebody is mourning Charlie Kirk, just ask them what exactly they liked about him and what their favorite quote of his was anyway.
Speaker: Oh yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, it's been a good week for unfollowing.
Speaker: It's been a good week for unfollowing.
Speaker: It's been a good week for accelerationists.
Speaker: Oh, they're they're thrilled.
Speaker: They're pleased.
Speaker: They're the only people who got exactly what they want.
Speaker: They're happy about, you know, the, cause they just want shit to happen.
Speaker: Um, and it's happening.
Speaker: God, it's happening.
Speaker: God, it's happening faster than ever.
Speaker: Oh my goodness.
Speaker: It's right there in their name.
Speaker: Acceleration.
Speaker: Oh, I mean, we are, he is absolutely that, uh,
Speaker: We're going to find that out.
Speaker: So he's sparring with this red guard girl who was like, who claims to be like the daughter of somebody who advised his father and all that stuff.
Speaker: And she's, she's very good.
Speaker: She's very good.
Speaker: But, you know, he, he still comes out on top and he offers her a job in his personal guard.
Speaker: So after that, we cut back to an egg who is still cooking for
Speaker: this faceless lord we haven't seen yet.
Speaker: They're still cooking for him.
Speaker: He's not happy with the last meal, so one of the chefs gets killed by Kine, which I guess that is how you say it.
Speaker: Again, it's Q-I-J-N-E.
Speaker: I'm just going to say Kine.
Speaker: So she kills him to prove a point, I guess.
Speaker: We will not tolerate boring food.
Speaker: It's not even that he didn't like the food, he was just bored by it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And this is a plot line that in any other thing I would find fucking excellent.
Speaker: It's going to get even better.
Speaker: I love this thing.
Speaker: I just don't give a shit about an egg.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And that's kind of a problem.
Speaker: And they imply.
Speaker: By the way, by the way, her name reminds me of Arrested Development.
Speaker: Yeah, an egg.
Speaker: An egg?
Speaker: Her?
Speaker: Her?
Speaker: That's the name of the episode.
Speaker: Her?
Speaker: Yeah, her.
Speaker: She gets a hint that they might have to scrap.
Speaker: with rival chefs.
Speaker: And that's hilarious and oh so good.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: It's hilarious because it's basically, it's basically they, like, it's a real, it's an actual anchorman moment.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: That's exactly it.
Speaker: And it will happen.
Speaker: And it's crazy.
Speaker: I fucking love it.
Speaker: So they make another dish for this guy and they find out
Speaker: he was bored by this one too.
Speaker: And they're pretty sure that they're dead mate.
Speaker: We cut back to Prince Etrobus, who has heard rumors that he's meant to get married.
Speaker: He doesn't want to do that.
Speaker: He wants his dad to send him on this bad-ass military mission.
Speaker: And his dad's telling him no.
Speaker: So that's when Koo, the clockwork bird, shows up.
Speaker: And through the powers of, you know,
Speaker: zoom call in elder scrolls.
Speaker: Uh, he gets to talk to this, this guy talks to an egg and like, and that's the thing.
Speaker: It's, it's so stupid.
Speaker: Cause you're like, girl, like you're going to send, you're going to, you're going that high.
Speaker: Like you're, you're bumping that high.
Speaker: And it, but it totally works because he's like, oh yeah.
Speaker: And she, he tells, she tells him all about the flying city and he goes to his father, the emperor.
Speaker: And, uh, the, his father's like, no,
Speaker: Fuck that.
Speaker: You just, you just want to stroke your own ego.
Speaker: This is about glory.
Speaker: Uh, and we're not doing that.
Speaker: We got more important stuff to deal with.
Speaker: Um, so, uh, and so of course, immediately he walks out and starts, uh, he's, you know, we're assembling a team.
Speaker: Uh, so he's going to have a small adventuring party of his own in secret.
Speaker: Um, chapter two, uh, we cut back to Glim, our Argonian.
Speaker: Uh, this is the only time we will see him this entire hundred pages, by the way.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: He is in the sump with this guy named Wirt.
Speaker: And if you've forgotten, the sump is kind of like the sewer system, basically.
Speaker: Yeah, it's weird.
Speaker: It's like the dead bodies end up in there.
Speaker: But also, as we'll find out, the babies come out of there.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And their food, like they eat fish and shrimp and shit that that swoon around down there.
Speaker: Sump is for everything.
Speaker: Sump is for everything and everything is for the sump.
Speaker: But that's where he works and because he's really valuable to them because as an Argonian, he can breathe underwater.
Speaker: And they don't know what the fuck an Argonian is.
Speaker: But they love that he can breathe underwater and they're taking full advantage of it.
Speaker: And as Kevin pointed out, this is where babies come from.
Speaker: There are eggs that are in different stages of development.
Speaker: And they change colors based on where they are.
Speaker: And it's Glimm's job to grab the right eggs before they hatch.
Speaker: And while this all happens, a random fight scene happens between them and a mutant shark.
Speaker: It's like, by the way, there's like, yeah, there's fucking sharks in there, I guess.
Speaker: Yeah, giant sharks.
Speaker: And Glimm kills it and rescues Wirt.
Speaker: And that is, I hope you enjoyed that because that is our Glimm chapter.
Speaker: Also, Wirt, they talk about how Wirt has like, is breathing underwater by use of something called the Vapors.
Speaker: Oh, the Vapors.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: It's like they inhale this gas and then they fill their lungs with water and then they're able to be under the water.
Speaker: But it's kind of slowly killing them too.
Speaker: Yeah, it's really fucking them up.
Speaker: It's a pretty good
Speaker: story device like it's like wow that is sad and they're like Glimm you're great because you don't need the vapors you can just go right into the water and they're also talking about how like by the way Glimm you're just the first Argonian there's going to be more of you now that you're here and it's like what's going are they like scraping people's DNA and throwing them into the egg sacs or whatever what's going on here that seems to be it because they talk about that they've talked about how like you know
Speaker: you're here, you die, and then you come back again in some way, shape, or form.
Speaker: So it's kind of a tyrannid, like, biomass kind of thing.
Speaker: Everyone just kind of gets melted down and recreated.
Speaker: Not to get all Warhammer 40K on you.
Speaker: No, I'm sure that they, that's taken everybody completely by surprise.
Speaker: I understand.
Speaker: If Dennis Miller was one of the...
Speaker: What are they called?
Speaker: Like the history keeper dudes?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Archivists.
Speaker: No, not the archivists.
Speaker: In Horace Heresy, the.
Speaker: Oh, oh, the remembrancers.
Speaker: The remembrancer.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Dennis Miller has her remembrancer.
Speaker: Just starting off a monologue.
Speaker: Like, hey, I was there when Horace slew the emperor.
Speaker: I was there.
Speaker: I wasn't impressed.
Speaker: Tell you what though, tell you what that horse God, he makes, he makes, uh,
Speaker: He makes Mr. Clean look like, you know, heavy metal headbanger, doesn't he, babe?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's not quite obscure enough of a reference.
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: He would have to do some deep Warhammer, some deep 40K cuts in order to... Oh, yeah.
Speaker: And show something.
Speaker: Right up a whole... She was like a 17th century bald guy.
Speaker: Like...
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Archduke Ferdinand, babe.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: That's at that point.
Speaker: It's not even connected to a joke.
Speaker: He's just throwing out random historical references and the audience goes wild.
Speaker: I remember when his revealing that he was more right wing was the greatest betrayal of
Speaker: to a lot of us and my God, it's gotten so much worse.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Where have you gone, Dennis Miller?
Speaker: Where have you gone, Dennis Miller?
Speaker: You know, honestly, looking back on it, we should have seen the signs.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because he was it's one of those guys where you realize in retrospect that he was always a hack.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But you were just I was like, oh, he's funny because he makes obscure references.
Speaker: And I, hey, I was 100 percent right there.
Speaker: I was like, I don't.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Who did?
Speaker: What did he say?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I loved it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because, you know, when you're when you're a white guy who wants people to think you're smart.
Speaker: So, you know, that's that's the whole shtick.
Speaker: And I'm still one of those guys.
Speaker: So it's still one of those guys.
Speaker: Dennis Miller, Bill Maher, Phil Keeling.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: That's us.
Speaker: The three amigos, they call us.
Speaker: I would I would learn about.
Speaker: If I had to spend that much time with those two, I would figure out.
Speaker: Can you imagine having to like share a plane, like sitting next to them on a plane for like I can I can tell you I would learn very quickly how far down my throat I could fit a shotgun.
Speaker: Yeah, that's not that's not my idea of a good time.
Speaker: It's you in between Bill Maher and Dennis Miller on a flight to Dubai.
Speaker: Oh, God.
Speaker: That's yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Cause I'm sure we're going to hear all kinds of enlightened shit about Dubai right there by itself.
Speaker: That's yeah.
Speaker: It is a hundred percent.
Speaker: Oh boy.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Anyway, we were somewhere.
Speaker: Oh, Glim.
Speaker: Glim.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Glim's gone.
Speaker: No, he's alive, but, but that's, that's literally the only chapter in a whole, in a hundred pages.
Speaker: We get six of them dedicated to poor Glimm, who is who in part one had some really interesting introspection and some interesting thoughts about what it's like to be an indigenous person in a colonized area, some really interesting stuff.
Speaker: And, and, and in this scene, we get a shark fight and that's basically it.
Speaker: And, and,
Speaker: it's so frustrating.
Speaker: My conclusion, I brought it up in the last episode, but I'll get into it, obviously, after we're done.
Speaker: But I am more convinced than ever that this used to be about 150 pages longer.
Speaker: And they were just like, absolutely not.
Speaker: You've got to cut about 150 pages of it.
Speaker: And this is the best he could do.
Speaker: Because he is a good writer.
Speaker: That is something we are going to see constantly through this.
Speaker: He is a good writer.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: But there are just a scene not found all over this book.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So chapter three, the prince arrives at the town of Ione.
Speaker: It's this little village, which is best known for its oblivion gate, where the namesake of the town
Speaker: uh, uh, fought.
Speaker: He took half of his forces into oblivion, uh, to fight the Daedra.
Speaker: Um, presumably I believe during the events of the game oblivion.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So he meets his little army at a hunting lodge.
Speaker: I think they say it's about like 52 people, something like that.
Speaker: Um, and, uh, he, he's a, he gets a, we get a really fun, uh,
Speaker: guilty rich white boy syndrome moment because he's got this hunting lodge out there and the red guard woman who is part of his guard now kind of goes, wow, this is a really, this is a huge hunting lodge.
Speaker: She's like, it's not that big.
Speaker: Just immediately feels guilty.
Speaker: Like, like, what are you saying?
Speaker: You saying I'm just some spoiled rich kid?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And this will continue.
Speaker: So he's getting them all psyched up to go out and fight
Speaker: Uh, uh, to, to go find this floating city and everyone's like, yeah, okay.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That sounds great.
Speaker: They're, they're really trying their hardest to, to sound enthusiastic for their boss.
Speaker: Um, and it's, it's working on them, uh, for now.
Speaker: Unfortunately, the army gets ambushed and basically everyone dies.
Speaker: But before he gets to before he can witness that, his new guard smacks him with the flat of a sword and knocks him unconscious.
Speaker: He wakes up his new his hot, sexy guard who.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: He was like, oh, I might be into her.
Speaker: And then she's like, fuck you.
Speaker: swim and all that shit.
Speaker: Like it's, it's, she goes hard.
Speaker: Well, not that hard, but you know what I mean?
Speaker: So that's, I gotta get her name.
Speaker: She's going to come up.
Speaker: I keep forgetting to write down her name.
Speaker: Well, she's not going to be alive for too much longer.
Speaker: No, that's true.
Speaker: But Red Haas, her name is Red Haas.
Speaker: So he wakes up and he's been tied up and Red Haas and her posse, she's got this posse of like bandits basically.
Speaker: And the whole point is they're going to sell him.
Speaker: They were given a job to kill him, but they found a guy who collects people.
Speaker: We don't really find out what that means.
Speaker: That might be a reference to the game.
Speaker: It might be.
Speaker: But he's going to pay way more than they were ever going to get to kill him.
Speaker: So shut your mouth, deal with these bindings, and we're going to take you to this other place to sell you.
Speaker: Uh, they tell him that they've killed his entire army and he just, this is the beginning of, of the delusion of this guy.
Speaker: He just assumes that she's lying.
Speaker: Uh, for no reason whatsoever.
Speaker: He has no reason to think that she's lying.
Speaker: Uh, uh, we are going to find out pretty shortly that she is not, that his army killed everybody.
Speaker: Everybody who followed him, uh, on this thing is dead now.
Speaker: Um, and, uh, and he has to believe that basically he has to believe that, that she's lying.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Um, chapter four, we get an egg, uh, who's making a recipe with viper venom.
Speaker: And the whole idea is that it's meant to mix up your senses.
Speaker: This, this recipe, like, um, things that taste salty will taste sour and things that taste bitter will taste sweet.
Speaker: And, uh, and if you do it in the right way, that can be very pleasant and, and, and strange and, and,
Speaker: She knows for a fact that the lord, if you will, will not be able to say that it is boring.
Speaker: So she's hoping that will be interesting enough.
Speaker: And it works.
Speaker: It goes over very well.
Speaker: So she and I think it's Slinn, her assistant chef, they get drunk.
Speaker: And that's when... And as she goes to bed, she checks her little amulet thing and realizes that Ku, wherever it is, is not with the prince anymore.
Speaker: Because we're getting...
Speaker: nothing but static on the other side there.
Speaker: Yeah, that's all we got.
Speaker: Chapter five, Colin.
Speaker: Colin, who you might remember.
Speaker: Yeah, Colin's back.
Speaker: He was in the second chapter of the first part, and that was it.
Speaker: And he's, if you don't remember, he is like a young guy who basically has become, and they call him an inspector,
Speaker: And it's kind of like he's like a part of the CIA.
Speaker: Like he's one part like investigator detective and one part assassin.
Speaker: He's like a hand of the emperor.
Speaker: Uh, right.
Speaker: And he has been brought to the scene of, uh, the dead army, the prince's dead army.
Speaker: Basically.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's, it's a real, like the vibe I get from this scene is like Colin is basically the FBI coming in to take the case away from the local, local cops.
Speaker: That's exactly it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's like, well, actually it's my crime scene to go knock yourself out.
Speaker: Uh, it's, it's, that's exactly what it is.
Speaker: Uh, and he's investigating and he's a very good investigator.
Speaker: Um, and, uh, he realized he finds what they, they're meant to believe that this is the body of the Prince.
Speaker: He's wearing, uh, very, uh, uh, conspicuously wearing the jewelry of the Prince and his head has been cut off, uh, which is also, he recognizes meant to make it look like the rebels in the area who are fond of, uh, taking heads, but he doesn't buy it.
Speaker: It's just too convenient.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: This is where I realized, and he has a power that he uses in this moment to interrogate the ghosts of the people who have recently died to ask them what happened.
Speaker: And he doesn't get too far, but he gets enough information basically to confirm what he seems to think, that this is not what it seems to be.
Speaker: This is where I realized that I think Colin is my favorite character in this book.
Speaker: Yeah, I was like, after this chapter, I was like, oh, this book just should have been all Colin.
Speaker: I have it written here.
Speaker: Most interesting character.
Speaker: Why not more Colin?
Speaker: I hate that his chapters are so few and far between.
Speaker: It's so frustrating because he's really interesting and he's really well written for what little we get of him.
Speaker: Uh, it's got like fantasy true detective vibes.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Just follow this dude unraveling a mystery of a kidnapping that leads him to a, to a fucking floating city of, of the damned.
Speaker: That's like, that's all we need.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: That's all we need.
Speaker: it's it's and yeah i don't know instead we're only getting him like we already know the we already know we're just getting colin it's it's more of like a a colombo situation where we already saw the crime happened and now we're like oh is he gonna colombo his way through it that's that's exactly it it it's it's a shame uh he's such an interesting kid and that's the thing and as i said before this is where we're really going to see we're really starting to see um
Speaker: that these separate parts of this book, there's something there.
Speaker: There's always an interesting factor in each of these parts.
Speaker: They just fall flat on their faces so frequently, and there's just not enough of it to justify it.
Speaker: Okay, we get to chapter six.
Speaker: Great chapter, actually.
Speaker: The prince is told by his kidnappers to bathe, and while he gets nude and hops into this lake,
Speaker: And while he's in there, he notices that Redhasa has his sword.
Speaker: She's basically guarding him and she's not really paying attention.
Speaker: And he takes the opportunity to grab his sword and get into an Eastern Promises style naked fight.
Speaker: They don't, they really don't emphasize it too much, but he is naked and,
Speaker: for the rest of the chapter.
Speaker: They don't reference it, but he hops, he has, he hopped into the lake naked and then hopped out to fight.
Speaker: And everything from here on out is a fight of some kind or another where he isn't putting on underpants.
Speaker: So our prince is nude this entire time.
Speaker: He's as nude as Viggo Mortensen as a Russian mobster.
Speaker: That's just what it is.
Speaker: So he is shocked, shocked, I tell you,
Speaker: To find that Red Hassa is a much better fighter than him.
Speaker: Yeah, it's like basically.
Speaker: Yeah, basically we find out that his entire life is a lie.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: People have been just letting him win his entire the entire time.
Speaker: Even the battles he fought in were setups by his dad to make him feel like he was like doing something.
Speaker: Like that fight, you weren't fighting soldiers.
Speaker: You were fighting like prisoners who were like drunk.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's what you, they were not elite troopers that like we told you.
Speaker: And that's the thing.
Speaker: And she tells him basically everything that we've ever wanted to tell a mediocre white guy.
Speaker: It's, it's, she just unloads on him.
Speaker: And it, it actually leads to what I think is the funniest part of this book.
Speaker: Where he's hearing all of this and he says, wow, she's not just evil.
Speaker: She's insane.
Speaker: Because he's like, he can't.
Speaker: He's so deep into his delusions that he's like, wow, she's nuts.
Speaker: She's completely off her rocker if she thinks that.
Speaker: Yeah, that can't be true.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: My dad would never do that.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And she just proves her point by just very easily whipping his ass.
Speaker: Cut to the emperor sitting on the throne and be like, you know, I don't really care for Etribus.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: With a vodka tonic.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I don't care for Etribus.
Speaker: I like to call him Trib.
Speaker: Gob.
Speaker: So he ends up getting saved by Sewell, our other character who we haven't seen since the very beginning of part one.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Who's a dark elf who comes in and just dies.
Speaker: annihilates the bandits that have had him he kills all of them like uh red hasa who you think you like for some reason you're like oh she's gonna be a character nope no he kills the shit out of her kills the shit out of her oh my god and like he at one point etrobus is like i should i i feel bad because she was hot or something like that yeah yeah
Speaker: He kind of implies that they slept together.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Which I missed, I guess.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I don't remember that either.
Speaker: Again, the main issue with the book.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's like a level 20 character coming in and just beating up on some level twos.
Speaker: It just
Speaker: Like if you were a level one character and you were fighting a level five character, you'd be like, oh, wow, this guy's a killer.
Speaker: Absolutely annihilated.
Speaker: He's like he has initiative.
Speaker: Also, he has an action and like two legendary actions that he can take.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Just just just just like the smearing on the bottom of his boot.
Speaker: He just absolutely destroys them.
Speaker: No questions.
Speaker: He tells the prince that he's there to save him, that their destinies are linked.
Speaker: He doesn't know why Azura, he doesn't, he never says Azura, but we know that he's a worshiper of Azura.
Speaker: And he doesn't know what's going on, but he knows that they're linked.
Speaker: And so we're going to have to go to this floating island together, to which the prince says, okay, can I get dressed?
Speaker: And he goes, yeah, sure, if you have to.
Speaker: It's so
Speaker: Prince, this is the only time he finally puts on some pants, is my point.
Speaker: We get to chapter seven, and I am delighted to find out that we've got another Colin chapter.
Speaker: He's going to be debriefed by his superior, and he's shocked to find that he's actually getting debriefed not just by his superior, but by the emperor himself.
Speaker: He tells the emperor, he tells him everything that
Speaker: he thinks like that this is not what it seems to be.
Speaker: I think your son's alive.
Speaker: Uh, I don't think that it was these rebels that did it.
Speaker: He just, he gives him the whole low down and he does it.
Speaker: Uh, and he, and he, and he like corrects his direct boss several times.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Uh, and, and he gets, and after the emperor leaves, he basically is scolded.
Speaker: for breaking the chain of command.
Speaker: And yeah.
Speaker: And he's like, well, I would have told you first, but you brought me in to the emperor right away.
Speaker: What am I going to do?
Speaker: I'm going to tell you instead of the emperor, you know, again, a much more interesting book than the rest of the that's so much more interesting.
Speaker: Here's the thing.
Speaker: Here's here's workshopping this opinion on the book.
Speaker: The individual plots are actually very good.
Speaker: Trademark.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: But they don't belong together.
Speaker: They belong as three different attempts at a story, maybe even a Rashomon type weird ass thing, all telling different story.
Speaker: But like not together.
Speaker: And not with that part one, like part one was such a weird hodgepodge of stuff that we are now in part two.
Speaker: And that's I like part two, kind of, because we have some interesting shit happening.
Speaker: Yes, it's way better than part one.
Speaker: And it also doesn't like devolve into some weirdly confusing shit where like, what's happening?
Speaker: That's where the stuff comes out and stuff fell out.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: We don't get any, we don't get any moments like that here.
Speaker: Thank God.
Speaker: But it's still, it's still just doesn't quite work.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So yeah, Colin's character, his, I think, I think you're right.
Speaker: I think everyone's,
Speaker: I think this is one of those situations where when I was a kid at school and I got a sandwich at my lunch, I was one of those kids that took the sandwich apart and ate the cheese alone and ate the meat alone and ate the bread alone, ate each individual piece by itself.
Speaker: And I think that's, this is, this is one of those moments that that's the best way to eat the sandwich.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Unfortunately, the sandwich is like held together with like,
Speaker: day-old mayonnaise and tar.
Speaker: And to top it off, the portions are so small.
Speaker: So it's just not satisfying.
Speaker: It's not high quality.
Speaker: It's just a mess.
Speaker: You have to dig that bologna out of some really old mayonnaise.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: It's a strata at this point.
Speaker: It's just hard to fossilize.
Speaker: You take the bologna to the bathroom and you...
Speaker: You put it under the sink and you start washing it off and you got your bologna all flopping around with with the mayonnaise is splattering.
Speaker: It's on your shirt now.
Speaker: Now you got a mayo shirt.
Speaker: You got a mayo shirt.
Speaker: You got a mayo shirt.
Speaker: But you got you cleaned your bologna.
Speaker: You dry.
Speaker: You pat it dry.
Speaker: And then you eat it and you realize the bologna is also old.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's no good.
Speaker: It's no good.
Speaker: It's, it's, it's, it's, you, it's, you look at that sandwich and say the same thing that I look, I say about this book where you say, this was good once.
Speaker: Um, I have a feeling this was good once.
Speaker: I don't have any proof, but I got, I don't have any proof, but it's, it's real vibes, you know, real vibes, real vibes.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: Colin goes down to the local bar where he meets an old friend of his.
Speaker: We don't get a lot of the details about how they know each other, but they haven't seen each other in forever.
Speaker: And the guy, I think they say he's like a guard at the castle, but he's like low-end guard.
Speaker: And he realizes through just like context clues that Colin is one of the specters, as he calls them.
Speaker: And it's kind of blown away by that.
Speaker: they talk a little bit about, he fills him in.
Speaker: And as you said, Kevin, it's another moment where it's like, we know all this stuff already, but we watch as Colin gets filled in on the prince being a big fakey fakerson.
Speaker: And how no one really respected him.
Speaker: And his guardsmen were like,
Speaker: fine with him but just didn't really they didn't mire him the way Colin thinks he Colin thinks everybody loves like all the guards love him and meanwhile the guards were like yeah I mean we're paid to like him right that's exactly it yeah and and he finds that out and and implies that this is it helps him uh uh put together a piece of the puzzle that was missing um I get to chapter eight a neg is making catfish uh for her
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, her.
Speaker: She's making catfish for this guy now.
Speaker: We find out that they've done very well.
Speaker: The past few meals have all been beloved.
Speaker: And so her name is getting around, and that's not as good a thing as she thinks it is.
Speaker: She finally hears from Prince Etrobus now that he has been rescued by Sol.
Speaker: And he seems different.
Speaker: She talks a lot about how he doesn't seem as confident as he did before.
Speaker: And she's like, you're still going to help me, right?
Speaker: And he's like, uh...
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Eventually.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'll get there eventually.
Speaker: And she's like, okay.
Speaker: All good here.
Speaker: How are you?
Speaker: How are you?
Speaker: It's very that.
Speaker: It's just, it's just so bad.
Speaker: It's like, she's like, okay.
Speaker: And you can tell she's got misgivings about it.
Speaker: But she is, but she doesn't care because she's starstruck because he like told her,
Speaker: stop calling me your highness.
Speaker: Call me, you know, a trebus or treb as my friends call it.
Speaker: And she's like, I'm friends with the prince.
Speaker: Oh God.
Speaker: Like, yeah, she's got, she's the girl who had like posters of Prince William on her, on her, you know, bedroom.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Prince William.
Speaker: When he had hair.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: Back when you looked at him, you went, oh, yeah, I see how he brought down Middleton.
Speaker: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Not now.
Speaker: That makes perfect sense.
Speaker: Not now.
Speaker: I mean, not now.
Speaker: No, no, no, no.
Speaker: Not now.
Speaker: He went from looking the beauty of his mother to his father.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, yeah.
Speaker: He just, he, he slowly becomes his dad.
Speaker: It's kind of what happened to, uh, I don't know if you're a jackass guy.
Speaker: I mean, you're from that area.
Speaker: So, uh, but, um, Bam Margera is gradually morphing into his dad.
Speaker: He's turning into Phil.
Speaker: He's turning.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's, it's, and cause you used to, it used to be, you'd watch.
Speaker: He's like,
Speaker: You know, he's got those cum gutters and he's just like the skateboarding lean kind of dude.
Speaker: And you're like, how does that guy come from Phil?
Speaker: And now you're like, oh, I see.
Speaker: Yeah, no, it comes for us all.
Speaker: Oh, God, yes.
Speaker: It cum gutters for us all.
Speaker: Yeah, it was funny.
Speaker: My wife told me she used to hang out with Bam Margera when she was in high school.
Speaker: Oh, that's funny.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I bet he was a total dick.
Speaker: Oh, I don't doubt it.
Speaker: I love the guy.
Speaker: I love Jackass, but I bet he was a prick.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But it's true.
Speaker: I think it's the only crossover between Tony Hawk Pro Skater and Jackass, right?
Speaker: Is Bam Margera?
Speaker: oh yeah i think i'm um yeah he he i think he was the only one who was a pro pro i think a lot of them um were skating on one on one level or another but i think he was like the pro right uh was he with them during the camp kill yourself anyway he started the camp kill yourself thing oh got it so yeah that was that was him uh that was him jackass is basically what happened when you took
Speaker: can't kill yourself and put in the stuff that Johnny Knoxville was doing.
Speaker: Yeah, this the stuntman type stuff.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: In fact, like the first season of Jackass, a lot of that is just rehashed.
Speaker: Can't kill yourself stuff.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Not straight up taken from it.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Anyway, I really like Jackass.
Speaker: We could do a Jackass like rewatch pod.
Speaker: Oh my God, I would do that in a second.
Speaker: I would.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Quick story.
Speaker: My wife and I, for a while there, when we were, it was just the two of us and we didn't have a kid to worry about.
Speaker: We were very fond of picking themes for the movies we were going to watch every month.
Speaker: And so like one month would be like Western.
Speaker: So we'd all, we'd watch nothing but Westerns all, all month, you know, or, you know, we pick a theme and one month we were really proud of this one.
Speaker: We, we said, we're going to watch.
Speaker: stereotypically male and stereotypically female.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I remember this stuff.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And Emily had never seen Jackass before.
Speaker: And she was, I was like, it's really funny.
Speaker: They're really, they're, they're swell.
Speaker: They're really cool guys.
Speaker: And she's like, I just don't, I don't care.
Speaker: I don't, I just did this.
Speaker: They seem like assholes and dah, dah, dah.
Speaker: And I'm like, well, they, they kind of are, but it's, but it's,
Speaker: But they're sweet.
Speaker: You know, they're they're.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, like some of them are are real life assholes and some of them are nice.
Speaker: You know, exactly.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: It's a mixed bag.
Speaker: It totally is.
Speaker: And so we watched for that challenge.
Speaker: I was like, well, we're going to watch Jackass.
Speaker: We're going to watch the movie, the first one.
Speaker: And we watched it.
Speaker: And Emily about died laughing.
Speaker: She lost it.
Speaker: And she because she thought I don't know how it happened.
Speaker: But she was under the impression that they were like frat boy bro dozer types.
Speaker: Oh, God, no.
Speaker: And I was like, oh, no.
Speaker: And she goes, yeah, I was so confused as to why you liked these guys because they just I didn't think they're like, that's not your style at all.
Speaker: No, these they they they came up.
Speaker: They bubbled up from the burnouts in the skaters.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's exactly what it is.
Speaker: They are burnouts, all of them.
Speaker: And, and, and so now, now we watch Jack has to relax.
Speaker: Like it's, it's our favorite thing to, to help relax.
Speaker: But so, so yeah, that's, I would, so yes, I would absolutely watch a, I would actually absolutely take part in a rewatch of that.
Speaker: I love that shit.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Catfish, catfish for the Lord.
Speaker: That's catfish for the Lord.
Speaker: Catfish for the Lord.
Speaker: So that's what an egg's making.
Speaker: And the prince talks to an egg, et cetera.
Speaker: I already went into it.
Speaker: So after that's done, we cut to the prince who has just gotten off the phone basically with an egg.
Speaker: And Sol has been watching this entire time.
Speaker: And Sol just basically lets him have it.
Speaker: He goes, you know, you really do suck.
Speaker: You really do suck.
Speaker: I need you to know that I heard everything that she was saying to you.
Speaker: And it's all true.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Everything that whatever Radia or Radhasa, Radhasa, everything Radhasa said to you is true.
Speaker: Yeah, you're dumb.
Speaker: You're bad at your job.
Speaker: You're you're you are a spoiled little rich boy who can't fight.
Speaker: You're a virgin who can't drive.
Speaker: And you are a couch fucker.
Speaker: Yeah, that's exactly it.
Speaker: I mean, yeah.
Speaker: And so the prince and egg is – prince and egg.
Speaker: That's a new thing.
Speaker: Prince Etrobus is just, again, horrified.
Speaker: And he's like, why are you doing this?
Speaker: And Sol says, I need – we're linked together.
Speaker: I don't know why.
Speaker: But I know what's going to happen.
Speaker: You are going to – the branch – I think what he says is the branch has so much weight on it now.
Speaker: Because you've heard all this shit that you've never heard before.
Speaker: And eventually, the branch will snap.
Speaker: And when you snap, I need to know if you'll be useful to me.
Speaker: If I can count on you in any way, shape, or form.
Speaker: And right now, probably not.
Speaker: Probably not.
Speaker: So he's worried that it's going to fuck up his chances of bringing this floating island down.
Speaker: We come back to an egg, and a kitchen war breaks out.
Speaker: This is...
Speaker: This is such a funny, crazy idea.
Speaker: A legitimate kitchen war where the chefs are murdering each other.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: So this rival chef gang has heard that basically they are there to try and kidnap her because she's been doing so well.
Speaker: And they're like, we need her on our team.
Speaker: So –
Speaker: This huge fight breaks out that includes them sealing off their kitchen while it goes fucking nuclear in there.
Speaker: And they're like, yeah, everything in there is going to – anything that doesn't die from the fire and the gas and everything that's in there is about to pop through that door and we need to kill it as fast as possible.
Speaker: And it doesn't work out.
Speaker: Uh, they, they're evaded.
Speaker: Uh, Kine is killed by slur.
Speaker: The, uh, by she's fragged out.
Speaker: She's if it's friendly fire, he just kind of takes it.
Speaker: He doesn't, he hasn't gotten into it yet.
Speaker: They, we don't, we don't find out like what his thoughts on it are.
Speaker: But he was just like, I'm going to kill her because I have the chance.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He has the chance.
Speaker: I mean, I mean, I get it.
Speaker: I totally, she has, she is a psychopath and has killed a lot of, uh, other people.
Speaker: And, um,
Speaker: So, I mean, I get it, but we never find out his specifics.
Speaker: And by the time it's all over, a new chef, you get the impression it's like a nicer kitchen.
Speaker: He's kind of more hoity-toity.
Speaker: And he tells them, yeah, you guys work for me now.
Speaker: You belong to me.
Speaker: Okay, great.
Speaker: that's that world's version of a promotion.
Speaker: You know, it's like you just get hostily taken from one company to another.
Speaker: Yes, Chef.
Speaker: Yes, Chef, exactly.
Speaker: And by the way, some of the way people were getting killed was like they were getting melted.
Speaker: Like, it was like one person gets like acid thrown in their face and like the person's face started melting into yellow worms.
Speaker: And I was like, what?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's weird.
Speaker: It's surrealist shit.
Speaker: It's so strange.
Speaker: It's great.
Speaker: It is a great fight and it's a great scene and it would have killed a guy.
Speaker: what it is it's that level of unhinged yeah it's basically it's basically like slur killed a guy yeah i did i killed the kind i killed kind i had an axe and i killed her with an axe that escalated quickly yeah that's exactly it
Speaker: And it's just another example of like, this would have been so much better if this book was just the adventures of rival kitchen gangs.
Speaker: I'd read 500 pages of that.
Speaker: That sounds great.
Speaker: Oh, the things we lost somewhere.
Speaker: The things we lost somewhere along the way.
Speaker: Somewhere along the way.
Speaker: Soap.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: We cut to chapter nine, soul and Etrobus.
Speaker: They are passing through kind of a wasteland area and they are approached by a tribe of Khajiit who are very tribal.
Speaker: Uh, we get a lot of, there's a lot of, uh, native Aboriginal kind of, uh, of vibes to them.
Speaker: And, uh, and they, uh, they basically, they, they offer their protection, you know, in the same way that a mob boss offers his protection.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: And they're like, yeah.
Speaker: And Sul knows his way around the Khajiit and their culture.
Speaker: And he says, I accept.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: I'd love that.
Speaker: And of course, I'm going to offer you kemaath, which is their word for moon sugar, which is the drug that they make skuma out of.
Speaker: So it's a very big thing there.
Speaker: And it's a big part of Khajiit culture.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So they have this, again, we have kind of a interesting native kind of naming ceremony where they're introducing themselves around the fire and taking some drugs.
Speaker: And one of the more interesting aspects of this is when they show up, they have cat mounts that are, that are, they're, they're gigantic cats that they ride like horses.
Speaker: They're like a cross between a cat and an ape and they name them.
Speaker: And through the naming process, you find out that these mounts are actually related to them somehow.
Speaker: They are Khajiit.
Speaker: They are just a different kind of Khajiit, and they are actually related to the people who ride them.
Speaker: So they're not a horse in the strictest sense.
Speaker: They're a family member.
Speaker: It's like their cousin.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: It's like if your cousin was big enough to let you ride on his shoulders while you killed people with a bow.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's that, which he might be.
Speaker: Um, it's that kind of thing.
Speaker: Uh, I thought that was a really interesting detail.
Speaker: Um, so they make a deal, uh, uh, you know, that, okay, we're gonna, yeah.
Speaker: In exchange for your protection, big finger quotes, uh, uh, we're going to go to the next town over where they have been banned.
Speaker: Uh, they're not allowed to live there.
Speaker: Uh, and we'll, we'll get you some moon sugar.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Um, and, and, and as a thank you.
Speaker: And they're like, great, this is going to work out fine.
Speaker: So Entrobus is pissed about this.
Speaker: He's like, this is a huge detour.
Speaker: And I don't know why we're doing it.
Speaker: He's pissed about it right up until Sol admits that he's lying.
Speaker: I'm not going to do that.
Speaker: Are you fucking crazy?
Speaker: I'm just telling them what they want to hear.
Speaker: And we're just going to keep moving.
Speaker: And then Atrovis is pissed about that.
Speaker: Because he's like, you made an oath.
Speaker: You're going to break this oath?
Speaker: That's bullshit.
Speaker: And he's like, God, shut up.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And this is where he starts to break down.
Speaker: He's been thinking way too much about what a loser he is.
Speaker: And oh my God, is this true?
Speaker: Oh, Jesus Christ.
Speaker: Oh, it's true, isn't it?
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: And this is where he's starting to break down.
Speaker: And he kind of has a hissy fit and says, why do you think I'm so stupid?
Speaker: Why are you bringing me, man?
Speaker: Why am I even here?
Speaker: Why are we even doing this?
Speaker: And Sol reveals that the whole reason he wants to destroy this floating island, it is a city, I will remind you.
Speaker: This is a city.
Speaker: He wants to blow up the entire thing
Speaker: Because somebody on that island, one person on that island is one of the people who's responsible for killing his family and destroying his home and the Red Mountain and Morrowind, basically.
Speaker: There's one guy on this island who's responsible for all that, and I'm going to kill every person on this island and destroy the island just so I know that this guy dies.
Speaker: which is thorough, I suppose.
Speaker: Thorough.
Speaker: Thorough.
Speaker: You know, he's just got to take care of it, you know?
Speaker: He's just got to make it happen.
Speaker: And you can't fault him for thoroughness.
Speaker: So they have to go to Morrowind before the floating island.
Speaker: And Sol is all mysterious as to why it's not clear.
Speaker: But they got to go there first.
Speaker: And Etrovis is like, we're wasting time.
Speaker: He's like, no, we're not.
Speaker: It's fine.
Speaker: And they get into a big argument and there's this big discussion about like Etrobus saying like, I'm not this guy.
Speaker: They want me to be this guy and I'm not this guy.
Speaker: And, and, and soul is so fucking sick of him.
Speaker: He's so over and he goes, well, then fucking be that guy.
Speaker: Learn how to be that guy.
Speaker: It's like, here's the, here's the thing.
Speaker: The majority of people think that you're awesome.
Speaker: They ha they have gotten the propaganda story.
Speaker: They know they don't, they don't know.
Speaker: that deep down inside you're a crying little girl.
Speaker: It was just, you know, they don't, they don't know that most people don't know that the only thing they don't know you suck.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: They don't know you suck.
Speaker: The only people who know you suck is like your dad, but all of our dads know we suck.
Speaker: So it's whatever, you know, that's, that's, Hey, welcome to the club, buddy.
Speaker: You know?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Welcome.
Speaker: Welcome to having a dad.
Speaker: That's just how this works.
Speaker: And so he's like, so why don't you just fucking try now?
Speaker: Now you can actually try.
Speaker: And in the meantime, I can use you because people don't know you suck and they know you're the prince.
Speaker: And so we can take advantage of that.
Speaker: For example, we're going to have to go buy moon sugar and I need your help because he feels bad about the whole.
Speaker: It's like, all right, fine.
Speaker: He's like, yeah, because we're going to go do it and we're going to live up to our end of the deal.
Speaker: So we find out, we watch as... You know what's funny?
Speaker: It's like the moon sugar stuff.
Speaker: It's basically like buying fucking... What's the decongestant?
Speaker: It's basically buying Sudafed to make meth.
Speaker: That's basically the...
Speaker: Everyone knows what you're doing when you're buying a, you know, a 30,000 pack of suit fed.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: They know what you're doing.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And so he, this is a funny detail.
Speaker: He, he they go to the merchants and, and he's like, look, he goes, okay, that's the guy who's selling it.
Speaker: I need, here's the money.
Speaker: I need you to go buy it.
Speaker: And the princess is like, but there are all those people there.
Speaker: And he's like, oh, you've never waited in line for anything.
Speaker: Have you?
Speaker: You don't even know how that works.
Speaker: He's like, yeah, I don't know what we're talking about.
Speaker: And he's like, yeah, you have to wait in line.
Speaker: So he experiences waiting in line for the first time, which is hilarious.
Speaker: And he buys some he buys some moon sugar.
Speaker: So they buy the sugar.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And he's forced to sign a document.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: It's basically like he has to ask the guy at CVS to open the, the, the, the locker to get the stuff behind glass.
Speaker: Yeah, that's exactly.
Speaker: And he, and he does, and he kind of has some misgivings, but he's like, ah, fuck it.
Speaker: And he signs his name, uh, which is some stupid shit.
Speaker: Um, and, and we find out because they head back to the, where they left the Khajiit tribe,
Speaker: They almost immediately realize something's wrong and the cops show up and, and, and they're the, the, the local constables.
Speaker: And this is absolutely about them buying moon sugar for Khajiit.
Speaker: And,
Speaker: Why?
Speaker: Why is this part of our storyline?
Speaker: Holy fucking shit.
Speaker: We have 100 pages left.
Speaker: Why are we introducing new complications?
Speaker: Anyway, that's the end of part two.
Speaker: It's not nearly as bad as part one when it comes to the nonsensical stuff, but I don't know.
Speaker: What do you think, Kevin?
Speaker: How did you like it?
Speaker: I mean, there's a lot of individual things about part two that I like.
Speaker: And I was like, oh, man, like I've already said, like, these would be great as their own stories or what have you.
Speaker: But yeah, I agree.
Speaker: At the end of part two, I finished part two.
Speaker: And then earlier today I texted you.
Speaker: I was like, how the fuck is he going to wrap this up in 100 pages?
Speaker: None of our characters are even remotely close to doing the shit they need to do.
Speaker: to finish the story.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like Colin is like, and we barely got started on, on the mystery Collins little mystery tour, right?
Speaker: Colin just got out of his individual act one.
Speaker: He just got out of his act one and he has to go through his C plot two and X two and three in just part three.
Speaker: And what the fuck we do?
Speaker: We got too many characters whose story progress is like, you know, it feels like 15 percent and we're going to get to 100 percent by the end of act three.
Speaker: Doubt it.
Speaker: You know, I have my doubts as to whether that's going to happen.
Speaker: So and and they have and they there is a sequel to this book, but that's the thing.
Speaker: if this, if there's still no way that you can gracefully end this, uh, on some sort of cliffhanger, uh, that would be satisfying.
Speaker: Uh, I would love to be proven wrong on that, but so far I have my doubts.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So I, I am in total agreement.
Speaker: I don't know how this is going to work out.
Speaker: I'm so frustrated because so many individual pieces of this are really fun.
Speaker: And again, Craig, I, and I'm standing by my theory.
Speaker: I think Greg keys is a very good writer.
Speaker: Um, and I think that he turned in, uh, you know, a hundred and a hundred thousand, 120,000 words or something like that.
Speaker: And they're like, yeah, you need to take off like 40 of these.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Uh, and, and he had to scramble to make it happen somehow.
Speaker: And, and I, it just feels like shit got left on the cutting room floor.
Speaker: And it just doesn't feel finished.
Speaker: It feels like there's a lot more that we're not getting.
Speaker: And I just, the stuff I've seen where it works from this guy, it really, really works.
Speaker: So I'm just, I refuse to believe that
Speaker: it comes from his incompetence.
Speaker: I don't, I, I think that, I think that he got fucked somehow.
Speaker: That's my theory right now.
Speaker: Yeah, totally.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm going to reach out to him.
Speaker: Maybe.
Speaker: I don't know if we want to interview him with that theory.
Speaker: I don't know if we want to lead with that, but I might, but I might email and be like, so tell me the truth though.
Speaker: Tell me the truth.
Speaker: You're, you're probably statute of limitations is over on that thing.
Speaker: Tell me the truth.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: What happened?
Speaker: What happened?
Speaker: So, all right.
Speaker: Speaking of what happened, Kevin, I have one final question to ask you.
Speaker: Oh, yes.
Speaker: What are you playing?
Speaker: Oh, well, I'm playing Silksong.
Speaker: Of course.
Speaker: Hollow Knight Silksong came out, I guess, 10 days ago.
Speaker: Yeah, 10 days ago.
Speaker: That makes sense.
Speaker: And I have been dedicating every minute that I can play video games to Silksong.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: I know there's discourse about the difficulty and yada, yada, yada.
Speaker: But I am having a tremendous time with it.
Speaker: It's one of those games like certain games just hit me in the right spot and I'm not even like rushing to finish it.
Speaker: I'm just going through and I'm tying up loose ends.
Speaker: I'm doing little quests because I'm just enjoying being in the in the world of the game.
Speaker: So I'm going through and I'm buying all the stuff from all the merchants, you know, I'm.
Speaker: I heard tell of a that there is actually like a hidden act three to the game.
Speaker: Like you can you can finish the game.
Speaker: You can roll credits at the end of act to beat the final boss and you could be done or you could do the Dracula's inverted castle and do the real shit.
Speaker: There's another like another, you know, chunk of the game where you can go into it.
Speaker: Yeah, which I love.
Speaker: I love shit like that.
Speaker: Like Dracula's Inverted Castle, you know, referring to the Castlevania Symphony of the Night.
Speaker: You know, that blew my mind when, you know, I was however old I was 13, you know, when that game came out.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Finding out that there was like an entire second half to the game.
Speaker: Uh, and if you didn't know how to do it, you were just like, Oh, I beat the game.
Speaker: Ho hum, you know?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then they go by the way.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then by the way, there's a second half to the game.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: So it's not a second half in Silksong, but there's more.
Speaker: So I'm taking my time finding out all the stuff that I need to do to get into that.
Speaker: Having a great time.
Speaker: Having a wonderful time over here.
Speaker: So it was worth the wait.
Speaker: It...
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: A good game at the end really solves a lot of any issues that you might have had with the weight.
Speaker: I'll say that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But yeah, no, it's it's been good.
Speaker: And, you know, I'm I'm looking at the games that I'll be probably playing next.
Speaker: Hell is Us is on my list to play.
Speaker: And also, by the end of the month, we're getting what's shaping up to be a new entry, a new good entry in the Silent Hill franchise.
Speaker: Yeah!
Speaker: Silent Hill F, which will be coming out.
Speaker: Famously, as of we're recording this today, there was a review that got posted on Reddit by somebody who was reviewing it for...
Speaker: for a website and like, oh, you, oh, sweetie, you shouldn't have posted that because the embargo is not up for another week.
Speaker: Oh, shit.
Speaker: It's a positive review, I'm assuming.
Speaker: It was a very positive.
Speaker: They reviewed, they rated it 9.5 out of 10.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That's exciting.
Speaker: They said to keep in mind the content warnings.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That's fair.
Speaker: That's fair.
Speaker: Here's the content warnings for this game.
Speaker: Don't sleep on them because they got a lot of stuff going on.
Speaker: And that's what they're there for.
Speaker: That's what they're there for.
Speaker: That's what people want.
Speaker: That's all they want.
Speaker: Just a heads up.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm trying to find... I wrote them down somewhere.
Speaker: What are the content warnings?
Speaker: Okay, gender discrimination, child abuse, bullying, drug-induced hallucinations, torture, and graphic violence.
Speaker: Okay, that all sounds... That tracks.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That tracks for the type of game that we're in.
Speaker: For Silent Hill.
Speaker: For Silent Hill, that tracks.
Speaker: That's it, yeah.
Speaker: Aside from Silksong, just Silk and songing my way through Silksong.
Speaker: Nice!
Speaker: Phil, what are you playing?
Speaker: I have not had much playing.
Speaker: I'm still playing The King is Watching.
Speaker: That has been a real...
Speaker: time sink for me, uh, while I'm unpacking shit and I can, you know, I can get a little, I can get like a, uh, you know, a wave in and then go unpack another box and that kind of thing.
Speaker: And that's really good.
Speaker: Um, I have the play test for the prologue for go way back, uh, which looks like a lot of fun.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: I'm looking for, I'm looking forward to play.
Speaker: It's player unknown.
Speaker: Uh, the people who did a pub G and it's a survive, it's a survival game.
Speaker: Like it's open world.
Speaker: Uh, every it's a roguelike.
Speaker: So every world is different and you're just trying to survive.
Speaker: It's, it's kind of, um, it's, it's like the long dark and stuff like that.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: Um, and it looks really interesting and really well done.
Speaker: Uh, I haven't played it yet, but, uh, I'm going to,
Speaker: do this play test and see how it feels.
Speaker: Cool.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: And I've also convinced myself that after I'm done with Rogue Trader on some of which I'm obviously still playing, I'm going to get into one of the gold box games, one of the old D&D gold box games.
Speaker: Oh, which one are you thinking of?
Speaker: I have been told, because I never played any of them, I played the Sega Genesis D&D game that came out
Speaker: and really loved it.
Speaker: And I have been told that the Eye of the Beholder trilogy is a good place.
Speaker: It's one of the ones that has translated.
Speaker: It's aged better than a lot of the other ones.
Speaker: So I'm thinking it's the Forgotten Realms game.
Speaker: So I think I'm going to start with that one and just see how it feels, see how it does.
Speaker: Because I'm desperate for more just good
Speaker: D&D, like, I've just been really, really needing some old school D&D shit lately.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's been something that I really crave lately.
Speaker: Craving it.
Speaker: Yeah, and I've also been painting minis like crazy lately.
Speaker: I've just found a bunch of minis that I forgot about since the last move, and I'm like going through them, like literally looking at them right now, and I just want to paint them
Speaker: Um, and I, I think I'm, I think I'm regressing.
Speaker: Uh, I think it's how my, I think it's how my body responds to stress.
Speaker: It's like, let's, let's remember when we were playing.
Speaker: Do you remember when elf was an entire class?
Speaker: It was, uh, in, in old school, basic D and D. Remember that?
Speaker: Sounds good voice.
Speaker: I mean, let me in.
Speaker: So, yeah, that's, so that's basically where I'm at.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's me.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Awesome.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Well, thank you all so much for listening tonight.
Speaker: It's always a pleasure when you turn in.
Speaker: Tune in, rather.
Speaker: Or turn in to bed.
Speaker: That's also good.
Speaker: That's also good.
Speaker: If you want to, you can go ahead and find us on social media, Pixlet Pod on any platform.
Speaker: And Phil, how did you pick Graham out from diving down into the sump?
Speaker: What were your choices like when you went down into the sump to pick Graham out?
Speaker: It was actually very interesting.
Speaker: I'm glad you asked.
Speaker: It was very eclectic.
Speaker: I got down there and I was like, you know, this, let's do three.
Speaker: Let's pick three to start with and then go with the best of the three.
Speaker: So the first one was Graham, adorable, pretty blue-eyed baby boy.
Speaker: That sounded pretty good.
Speaker: And my wife had very emphatically hinted at the notion that she'd really prefer it
Speaker: If we had a human baby.
Speaker: And I was like, okay, I get it.
Speaker: The other one was, it's like a, it was a squirrel crossed with a razorback.
Speaker: It was a razor squirrel.
Speaker: And it was, here's the thing, that sounds really cool, but it's really just a squirrel with a great big mohawk tuft up its spine.
Speaker: And I don't need that.
Speaker: I don't need that.
Speaker: The other one though, have you ever seen like,
Speaker: Oh, who's that actress?
Speaker: Jane Mansfield, you know, the old Jane.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Just the classic beauty of the age.
Speaker: This one looked, you took Jane Mansfield's head and you put it on a corgi.
Speaker: It was fascinating.
Speaker: And I wasn't, here's the thing.
Speaker: I was not convinced until she looked at me and she said,
