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Bases Loaded II with Jesse Cox!
307 Plays4 days ago
Jesse Cox (Chilluminati, Cox n' Crendor, YouTube, so much) joins us to discuss the amazing work of art that is Bases Loaded II: Second Season!
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Transcript
Being the Best Parents at Events
00:00:00
Speaker
but yeah You have the opportunity to be the best parents in the crowd. You can dress up. You can cheer. You will be the loudest. And that's that's the show.
00:00:11
Speaker
You can perform for paint. Just yeah. Yeah. Just the whole the whole. Oh, yeah.
Introduction to 'Pixel' with Phil and Jesse Cox
00:00:18
Speaker
Yeah. That's it. That's what I'm doing. you're No, you're absolutely right. Phil, you know what else is full body paint?
00:00:24
Speaker
What's that? Hey, there everybody. Welcome back to Pixel. My name is Kevin. With me as always is Phil on today's show. Special guest, Jesse Cox. Hi, Jesse. Hello.
Capturing the YouTube Audience
00:00:33
Speaker
We full body painting? Is that what's happening now? That's why the cameras are on. That's why the cameras are on. I just got to... We're trying to catch that YouTube crowd that we haven't quite gotten just yet. We haven't quite gotten the YouTube capture that we want, but you know maybe the... Yeah, the full body painted, that's going to do it.
00:00:53
Speaker
have a feeling. It'll do it. That's what we need. That's what the show needs.
Discussing 'Bases Loaded 2' with Jesse Cox
00:00:57
Speaker
Yeah. So today we got Jesse here to discuss a book with us called Bases Loaded 2, the second season. It's a Worlds Power book. Jesse, for those who might not know you, ah ah what what what would they know you from?
00:01:15
Speaker
First off, how dare you? with this book. How dare you? i know. i was ready to come on and have like a literature discussion. No. Like, let's talk literature. That's not what this is. not with this show. No. we Every now and then, with something like of actual admirable quality falls into our lap. And we spend half of the episode going, it's a good book. I don't know what
Critique of 'Bases Loaded 2'
00:01:46
Speaker
to do. ah
00:01:47
Speaker
But mostly. So ah just just we had Matheson and we had we it was ah Blaster Master. um Love that. And we had Alex on. What would even be the story?
00:02:00
Speaker
you know Oh, so there's a whole story. There is a whole story with Blaster Master that actually inspired but So what you're saying is that actually did have a story. Unlike the book we read, which was like no story.
00:02:14
Speaker
Which is just bad news bears. Like that's what this was. ah But imagine if like instead of discovering the journal of a man turned crazy by eldritch deities.
00:02:27
Speaker
Yeah. We just found the journal of a guy who was secretly writing about the ball game. and yeah Yeah. And that's It's like, That's it! That's the book! It constantly feels like it's being written under duress. Like it's a day in the life of Ivan Denisovich or something like that. I've never seen anything like it. This is a first.
00:02:49
Speaker
I am, ah first off,
Quality of Writing in Video Game Books
00:02:51
Speaker
honored to be here. But secondly... shocked that such a bit of writing exists. I just didn't expect it to be. we This might be the last Worlds of Power book.
00:03:02
Speaker
i don't I think we've we've gone through all There's Wizards and Warriors that we haven't done. ah but youre But you're right. We're almost done. weve We have... we have ah we We've tried to space these out, and especially when we have a guest, you know, because they're they're they're easy to read, they're quick, you know, and that kind of thing. And and and
Challenges in Finding New Content
00:03:20
Speaker
yeah, we're running out. we got We're going to have find stuff. But but fortunately, a lesser known Sega version also exists. Which is what we gave to Alex.
00:03:27
Speaker
We gave Alex Road Rash, which was basically the same thing as this book, but for Road Rash. Yeah. Just making it up.
00:03:40
Speaker
like Sure, fuck It feels like they can't keep getting away with this. It feels insane. The fact that there are so many of these, it has the Scholastic logo on the cover. Yes. Like yeah someone said This is important for the kids to read. Send it to the book fairs right next to scary stories to tell in dark or whatever and right chicken soup the soul.
00:04:04
Speaker
Well, that's pretty much where these were. yeah We interviewed Seth Godin, who
Origins of Worlds of Power Books
00:04:08
Speaker
is FX9. ah Seth Godin is like now ah one of the preeminent tech bloggers of all time or something like that. But before he did that,
00:04:17
Speaker
He did Worlds of Power. And basically, he watched his nephew play video games one day. And he said, are there any books about this? And his nephew was like, I don't know. So he's like, he went to both Nintendo and Scholastic and was like, I have an idea.
00:04:31
Speaker
And ah ah Arakawa, who was president of NOA at the time, was like, yeah, sure, fine, whatever. And then he pitched it to Scholastic. And Scholastic was like, yeah, we're not going to just give us a finished manuscript and we'll publish it.
00:04:45
Speaker
yeah And he was like, perfect. i I mean, that's what this is, all right. And Nintendo was like, they literally were like, um we are not going to give our public blessing, but we promise not to sue you.
00:04:59
Speaker
Yes, that was the rule. It was like, we're not going to put the Nintendo seal of quality on this, yeah but we're also not going to stop you from doing it. but That was this the deal that he struck. yeah
Book Universe vs DC Comics
00:05:10
Speaker
Yeah. So we got this classic based on the Jellicoe second game of a franchise that's dead.
00:05:18
Speaker
That's very dead. Very dead. And i mean, this is not the only way. that There is a Castlevania II Simon's Quest Worlds of Power, but not a Castlevania I. There is a, ah ah what is it? What's the other one?
00:05:32
Speaker
Mega Man II. There's a Mega Man II, but there's no Mega Man I. So it's a proud tradition. And here's the thing. Nothing about this is unique to Bases Loaded II versus Bases Loaded one You could have just said Bases Loaded. We didn't need- That's a really good point. I guess the only thing that matters is the fact that the covers are the same.
00:05:52
Speaker
I think that might be it. I think that was like, yeah, pretty much it. What's really funny about this? Actually, this segues very into your very first question, by the way. I do show called Scary Game Squad, and on that show, one of my fellow ah compatriots in scary games...
00:06:09
Speaker
His whole history with them is he never really played them, but he did read
1990 Games as Novel Inspirations
00:06:14
Speaker
the Scholastic books. And so he's like, oh, I read all the Resident Evil books when I was a kid, but I never played the games.
00:06:20
Speaker
And that's how I feel about this. If mom and dad, like, I guarantee someone saw the book cover, it looked the exact same as the game, were like, well, read this book. yeah Books are fine. This is fine. yeah And that's all it was like Godin totally said he was like, like, look, we were just like, this is this was a way to get gamer kids to read and we could make some cash. like I'll tell you, I i took ah my daughter to to Barnes and Noble. My daughter is 12 and she saw the Five Nights at Freddy's, not the ones that we covered, but the Fazbear Frights ones or or whatever.
00:06:53
Speaker
Yeah, it's like a four part box set. And she's like, can I get these? And my daughter only reads manga. She only reads manga. And I was like, but this is just words.
00:07:04
Speaker
This is all, this is just, this is just prose. And she's like, yeah, I'll read it. And I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, we'll get it. Yeah, yeah. That really is kind of like the long con for a kid. is' like, oh, I like this thing. It's a book. I'm i'm definitely going to get that.
00:07:21
Speaker
That's it. yeah well And that's that's when you're when you have an entire show centered around video game novelizations, that's 95% of what you're doing. I think Halo might be one of the only franchises that we have ah covered on this show that just truly wanted to create some outstanding standalone literature.
00:07:43
Speaker
right You know, and everything else, it's like, it's the the Dark Souls novelization we read is barely, it is it is so faint, the tie-in to the video game, it's it it made Kevin's head explode.
00:08:01
Speaker
He was so angry because he loves those games. So there it is. I can't believe it's still intact. It's still right here. it's It was written by Michael Stackpole. A legend. You'd think it would be great. You think that's what we said. i was like, oh, X-wing, motherfucking Michael Stackpole.
00:08:18
Speaker
Garbage. It's garbage. but I literally I was like, this was just a it's a generic 80s fantasy plot that he had already. And he was like, I need to I need to pay for this ah RV.
00:08:31
Speaker
And they were like, here you go. And he's like, great, thanks. This will do. I can actually segue this back again. Oh, I'm so excited. oh Speaking of ah Michael, I also do a podcast called ah the Star Wars Old Cannon Book Club, where we literally are going back through and reading everything Star Wars related, starting from the 70s, and just working through by year.
00:08:56
Speaker
And we finally caught up to the animations in the 80s, and it is ah it's a dark time for the rebellion. I bet it is. But... We're having fun because we got to see like the way the comics looked in the 70s and the way the stories were written. And even the very first Star Wars book that existed that was just a Star Wars movie.
00:09:14
Speaker
That thing is wild. Because it doesn't start with like, you know, in a galaxy far, far away. It's like in another time. and another era. like that yeah it was based on the It was based on the one of the earlier drafts of the script. yeah and yeah we talked we yeah We interviewed Alan Dean Foster, ah who wrote the novel, who ghost wrote the novelization for that and also then also wrote ah Splinter of the Mind's Eye. right um ah We interviewed him strangely for, he did the very first video game novelization in like 1983.
00:09:47
Speaker
for what was the name of course he did was name of that uh do you remember but shadow it like shadow tower or something shadow gate shadow tower something like that it was it was from like 1983 it was a game that had no p plot it was just an rpg computer game with no plot it was like just go through this this layer and he built up this whole fantasy world and stuff like that but yeah he we reached out to him and he's like hey do you want to you want to talk talk and he's like what do you want to talk about star wars say the not the Well, well chily actually, actually. he's like, nobody has ever asked to talk to me about this novel before.
00:10:23
Speaker
Does that mean yes? Yeah, I'll be there. Awesome. Oh, God. ah So. This game was developed by published by Jellicoe, developed by Tose Software, ah which is still around. um they they're It's a 49-year-old company. They've done games up through... as a Tales of Graces F Remastered is the most recent game that they've released, looks like. that's a classic.
00:10:54
Speaker
Yeah, classic, but ah also Crisis Core Final Fantasy VII Reunion 2022. That's, made, yo, they. They co-developed it with Square Enix, yeah. I just want to take the time for everyone to realize that that game has the single greatest line of dialogue delivering the history of video games.
00:11:12
Speaker
um And I quote, my hair, they're eating my hair.
00:11:20
Speaker
That's it. That's the pretty good. It's pretty good. You're wondering what the context is. I played it and I still don't know. So base is loaded to second season.
00:11:31
Speaker
Final Fantasy Crisis Core seven reunion. Same universe. um Yeah. Phil, ah who who wrote this ah book? Quote, unquote.
00:11:43
Speaker
ah This was written by A.L. Singer, who wrote, if i unless I'm missing, I believe wrote the majority of the Worlds of Power books. A.L. Singer also wrote Ninja Gaiden, wrote ah Infiltrator, wrote Blaster Master.
00:11:59
Speaker
And let's see, that might be it. I think he's the only one that did repeats. One of the only ones. ah But that is actually the pen name of ah Peter Laranjus, who is another one of our guys, right for hire sort of dude.
00:12:16
Speaker
ah Did ah adaptations for things like the Little Monsters, if you remember that movie from the 80s. Sure. yeah He wrote the novelization for that. He wrote the novelization for a few Disney movies, Robin Hood, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, Home Alone 2, Lost in Earth, Surf Ninjas, my friend. The novelization of Home Alone 2?
00:12:37
Speaker
That's right. That's right. is that where he also Does that include Donald Trump? Is there did he did he include the Donald Trump cameo? Was it there a thing rolling around on the Internet for a while? Chris Columbus, who directed the movie, has said recently that if he could go back and cut that scene, he would.
00:12:55
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. This is, yeah, he did, he's one of our guys. he's He's done a lot of this stuff. um Batman Begins the Junior Edition, ah the Sixth Sense novelization. Oh, no, wait, my bad. It's M. Night Shyamalan's The Sixth Sense, a novelization.
00:13:14
Speaker
The junior edition. Let's make sure. Yeah. Let's make sure that's in there. And he's done a lot of his own work, ah which I'm not familiar with at all. ah But everything that he seems to do for hire, he writes under ah Singer, under this this pen name.
00:13:31
Speaker
ah So all of this stuff, like... The Babysitter's Club novelization, The Amazing Panda Adventure novelization, Miracle on 34th Street, the 90s version novelization. I gotta be honest, it this dude seems like he's probably got money.
00:13:48
Speaker
but like This dude works. This guy's working. No, he works. He works. That's something that we've found is that no matter the quality of the book, ah we will find out like, oh, this guy, all this person has already also written like 70 other books yeah four hot in a for hire.
00:14:06
Speaker
And that's we that's why we end up giving some grace to a lot of these authors, even when we read something that's just the hot garbage is like, we don't actually know the circumstances ah under which they wrote this book. Sometimes it's just like,
00:14:21
Speaker
They're hired and it's like, yeah, first draft. And they're like, great, great. It's done. We we literally the last book we read was the first Elder Scrolls ah novelization, the Infernal Tower and Infernal City. Yeah. And yeah I say thank you, the internal city. and And it infuriated me because i could see was it Greg Keyes? Is that the name? of Yeah, that's the guy's name. He is.
00:14:46
Speaker
He's a good writer. Like you look at it and go, this is he's a good writer. But this used to be. 500,000 words like this used to be enormous. And they said, absolutely not. We want 75.
00:15:03
Speaker
And he had to make some strenuous changes and cuts errors and that kind of thing. I have to believe that's what it was. Yeah, there's there's I feel like a lot of this, you know it rings the same way as voice acting in a video game, for example, where I'm not going to hold most of the terrible line reads to the actor.
00:15:26
Speaker
It is 100% the person directing the scene and them not being like, no, we actually need it like this. Or try this. And I think the same thing here when it comes to editors and publishers for books.
00:15:38
Speaker
Like unless you're self-publishing, there's no excuse not to have a person who comes in and is like, uh, okay, what are we doing? This seems crazy. yeah Yeah, exactly.
00:15:49
Speaker
there's There's a long history of amazing writers who exploded and did really well, and then the quality of their work just dropped off because they decided they didn't need their editor anymore. Yeah. it's It's a very common story. You need that extra set of eyes to be like, you've sat in this world so long, you think this is good, but it's not, my man. It's not good. telling you what it's not. Yeah. It is easy to yeah to get that kind of tunnel vision on it.
00:16:16
Speaker
Yeah. So the only ones that we tend to genuinely dislike are the ones where it's clearly from start to finish something that ah was lazy or just, just or or the ones that have almost nothing to do with the source material. Like we mentioned the Dark Souls one, you know, like Dead Space, Dead dead Space, those those those novels were had nothing to do ah with the games. They were prequels and they they barely tied in at all.
00:16:47
Speaker
There was an entire chapter on a guy trying to get a research grant in the Dead Space novelization. It ended apart to the book. It was like the the the conclusion of this part is them going, great, I think this is how we'll get the grant. And like...
00:17:04
Speaker
What? you Do you think that's like they they assumed we'll get another book and that'll be, they'll carry, like they're doing like a, ah you know, George R. or Martin, we're like, trust me, that'll carry through. Just trust That's going to be important.
00:17:15
Speaker
yeah Right now, don't think so, but that will be. That will be important. Five books down the line. and Well, that's the thing. I'm such a naive piece of shit that so many times, and also just for the sake of the show, we will start, we'll read the first book in a series, and it will be garbage. And I know it's not going to get any better. And I'll still schedule the second and the third and the fourth.
00:17:38
Speaker
partially because of of i i because of those checks, man. I've got i've got to write the checks and and and partially because i really I really hope, against hope, and it's only happened, I think, once, and that was the Five Nights at Freddy's books. so The only time a series actually got better after the first book was the Five Nights at Freddy's series. They got really, like, actually the the second one, we were like, is this a good,
00:18:06
Speaker
series okay and the third one we were like holy shit that was great it's it's weird and the first one fun fact we tried to do this podcast 10 years ago we 10 years ago so we're we're on year four right now of the current incarnation we tried to launch it in 2015 with the five nights at freddy series the book was so bad that we looked at each other like i don't feel like doing this And then we didn't do it for six years. Yeah. And then COVID hit.
00:18:36
Speaker
And Phil was like, hey, do you want to do, you want to try this again? And and that was the thing. We genuinely thought this might end the show. Like this it was that level of boredom and and just, you know like, I don't, you know, it's the same way ah a mediocre D&D group breaks up where it's just yeah oh yeah, I guess that was Wednesday. I don't,
00:18:59
Speaker
I don't care. and I just, yeah. Yeah, we can get together next Wednesday and the next Wednesday comes around and the next Wednesday after that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, nobody schedules anything. ah But you know what I do want to schedule is just a little bit of time to say, hey, how about going to patreon.com slash pixel at pod?
00:19:17
Speaker
It's a wonderful website. We have three tiers for if you count the free, you can follow us for free. $1, $5, $10. ad-free episodes. $5 gets you the bonus episode before every episode. And $10 gets your name shouted out in every episode. And to that end, I want to thank Jesus Loves You, Kyle Seaman, Ruthless Mudder, Middle of Things, Sigma Sal, Sanguine Flatulence, Chet Beaks, Dumbeth, Thick, and Friendly Friend. Thank you so much for being a friend. Patreon.com slash PixelitPod.
00:19:46
Speaker
Do it today. hey
00:19:51
Speaker
Before we even crack this book open, I just want to talk for a brief moment about the cover. because Yes, by all means. At the top, we're hit with Worlds of Power, which of course is a brand everyone knows and recognizes.
00:20:07
Speaker
Right. But then you mentioned this wasn't officially approved by Nintendo. Not officially, no. Yet, it does have the same outline stamp at the top that says a novel based on the best selling Nintendo game by Jellicoe.
00:20:20
Speaker
Just so, you know, in case you weren't aware, it looks like it could be. Then we so we go down a little bit and it says base is loaded to second season. and And it is it's the same image that's on the game cartridge.
00:20:33
Speaker
And I would just like to take the time to acknowledge the guy, the batter, up to bat on the cover. That is not the face of a man staring at a pitcher or looking for the ball.
00:20:46
Speaker
That is the face of a man who has seen things. He's looked into the void and he's hollow. Those are those are empty eyes. This guy, he doesn't even know why he's playing anymore.
00:20:58
Speaker
and and And I will ask... Who do you think this is in the story? What character do you think this Is is this, uh, fuck, what's his name? The main, our main character. Is this supposed to be Jose Dion, Jose Dion?
00:21:15
Speaker
I don't know. My instincts tell me that it's the RFK junior style guy who drinks the, uh, the, gook shit. Uh,
00:21:27
Speaker
The whoopie juice. The whoopie juice. That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is. And then at the bottom book created, not written, created, created by FX9.
00:21:38
Speaker
Here's what I'll say. If I was if I was like 10 years old again and I saw book created by FX9, I'd buy it instantly. Yeah. Oh, sure. FX9 is, but that guy is the coolest.
00:21:49
Speaker
And you know you know why Seth Godin made up the name FX9? It's because books listed by alphabetic order, if somebody's looking for Nintendo, the 9 and I stop.
00:22:04
Speaker
Yep. Yep. this guy This guy is a multimillionaire from marketing nowadays. Yes. He knew what the fuck he was doing. But not for piecing together the first couple pages of a book.
00:22:17
Speaker
I must stress, this book opens. There is... Okay. The first page is like a little taste of what you're going to get. It's kind of like, alright, this is fun. If I was at book fair whatever, the Scholastic Book Fair showed him I could read the first page. Yeah, page. Yeah.
00:22:33
Speaker
But then... and Page two is a lie. Page two is, wow, your team's going all the way to the World Series to win. You'll have to outsmart the sneaky owner, Mr. Throttle Bottom. I'm sure we'll get into that.
00:22:47
Speaker
He's planning a few dirty tricks to turn your ah turn you into major league losers. Can the team save the day? The big game is right. The implication here, it says the complete story of Nintendo action adventure game.
00:23:00
Speaker
I thought this was going to be like a choose your own adventure. Yeah. It's like, can you save the day? Can the team save the day? i was like, i don't know. Can they? this do I have to make the choice here? No.
00:23:12
Speaker
No, that's not the case at all. this is I was so disappointed from moment one. i went in disappointed. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Disappointment that started. At the same time period, they did have Nintendo ah choose your own adventure books.
00:23:28
Speaker
They did have that shit. so the the So the disappointment would have been that much more palpable because you knew you could have had that. And when I realized I was totally screwed was the next page, which has the entire Jersey Giants team listed.
00:23:45
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Your dramatic. ah What is it? Dramatis personae. And from moment one.
00:23:51
Speaker
and from moment one It's like w right fielder, Jack Prokop. Prokop.
00:24:01
Speaker
Like, I just don't even, some of these names are amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Jose Dion's a great name. Ron Skaja is incredible. Like just Jorst Ziggy is Jorst Ziggy.
00:24:15
Speaker
These are these are names that never existed ah in a world where mothers loved their children. Ed Pop is a good one. Pop. i might Maybe Ed Pop. That one might have existed.
00:24:26
Speaker
yeah edward Edward K. Pop. Edward K. Pop. Of the Savannah Pops. He's very well known. Yeah. And so we're introduced these characters. And I was like, OK.
00:24:39
Speaker
All right, so they're they're taking from the game. Literally, they're taking from the... this is going to be kind of like a story based around baseball. Yeah. um I don't know that it is.
00:24:53
Speaker
i don't I'm still not sure what this is about, if anything. i would I made a comparison to Bad News Bears, and and that's an insult to Bad and to the bad News Bears. It's it's as a very light of Major League.
00:25:11
Speaker
Yeah, sure. where With like the owner trying to fuck over the team ah because she's trying to like sell the team or something like that. This is this is more.
00:25:22
Speaker
I mean, he's betting on the team. We'll get there. We'll get there. It's our Pete Rose. Yeah, he's our Pete Rose. Phil, we're going to let's let's just go ahead and put the body in the marsh. All right. Let's march the body.
00:25:34
Speaker
yeah When I tell you to dump a body in the marsh, you dump them In the mind. Yeah. yeah And we start with chapter one, which is dated March 28th.
00:25:47
Speaker
ah The book is from a first person narrative from the perspective of Jose Dion, the catcher for the Jersey Giants, the possibly the worst team in baseball history. Jose is a comedian, a storyteller, and all around nice guy, according to himself.
00:26:02
Speaker
Jose is writing this in secret. He doesn't want anyone to know. No one can know. Because if manager old Papas
00:26:12
Speaker
found out, he'd probably trade him, which you might want because you're on the worst team. and But I digress. ah The team is 0-9 in spring training and blown out and in every game, including yesterday, against the Philly Cheesesteaks.
00:26:27
Speaker
The steaks are tough. they've they've been They've been tough every year. Yeah, 13. They're tough out. if The stakes are a tough out. ah He recounts how the game fell apart after Hank James, the stakes leadoff man in the second inning, crushed a homer.
00:26:40
Speaker
Giants pitcher Ron Skaja ran out of Vaseline and asked Dion for more. By the way, really good go on. Yeah. Yeah. Can we talk about the world building they're doing here? Because it is out of control.
00:26:54
Speaker
The way things are written. it it Besides the like, you know our manager always on his laptop computer, which is a very like 1991 thing to say. But um this line got me where he's basically says like, ah now Ron Skadja, that's no Dwight Gooden.
00:27:11
Speaker
Like in some way, any of us have a clue who either of these two men are because it's chapter one. And he's like, let me just set up the fact that like on a scale of pitchers, Dwight Gooden is the top and Ron, not as good.
00:27:25
Speaker
that's that's what they're doing That's the setup for the world, is like, please, you there's There's an order, a hierarchy of talented people. But none of them are as good as Thor Twop whistle.
00:27:37
Speaker
ah so that's it's That's the funny thing is Dwight Gooden was a real pitcher. get he was He was a real dude that played for the Mets at this time period.
00:27:48
Speaker
is they hit people that The weird thing is people called him Doc Gooden. Nobody ever really called him Dwight. Whoa, whoa, whoa. whoa Whoa. The implication then is that during the not early 90s, while the Mets were a thing, also, we had the New Jersey Giants, so yeah the baseball team.
00:28:10
Speaker
Yeah. Along with the Philadelphia cheese steaks. Yes. The Boston beans. The Boston beans. but The Kansas tornadoes. Yeah. Whatever the hell the L.A. team was called.
00:28:22
Speaker
The manta rays or whatever. Yeah. the The ray catchers. Ray catchers. Yes. Ray catchers. Because they're catching rays, man. They're catching rays, man. Yeah. howmo So that's, ah yeah, none of these are in the tradition of any other major league sports team, especially the cheesesteaks.
00:28:37
Speaker
But they exist at the same time, same era. And at some point, Dwight Gooden played against... The Jersey Giants is what I'm able. We've been able to compare them directly at some. Okay. We can compare them. Yep.
00:28:51
Speaker
That's not a fake made up name for the baseball game. That's a real person. Yeah. It really blows the universe. Like it's sort of like how, in how in the D how in like DC comics, both like the real cities and the fake cities exist. Like somehow like New York and Gotham city are like five miles from each other in like the geography of, ah of, of DC nests.
00:29:13
Speaker
ah It's it you got you got you got the the Jersey Giants and the Mets and the Yankees and all. They're all fine. They're all together. It's a massive baseball universe.
00:29:25
Speaker
All right. And Skaj is bodaciously stiff. um but That was a good that was a good ah good modifier there.
00:29:37
Speaker
um So Skaja walks the bases loaded after running out of Vaseline and the the infield has a brief, brief. Oh, he walks the bases loaded and gives up a grand slam.
00:29:49
Speaker
then the infield has brief meeting, but doesn't really talk about the game. ah But what about they're doing after and other as sort of things? This is basically a rip off of Bull Durham ah where they have this scene and they just they they're just shooting the shit during these meetings.
00:30:04
Speaker
They give up 16 more runs in the game, then go out for stakes. That night, Jose Deon has a dream about having a winning record and taking the championship series in seven games.
00:30:15
Speaker
Then he wakes up screaming, according to his wife, and she says he must have had a nightmare.
00:30:22
Speaker
Chapter two, it's April 15th and opening day. The Giants managed to win a game in spring training because the Kansas tornadoes let their third baseman pitch. They celebrated by spraying lemon lime soda all over the locker room because that's what baseball players do.
00:30:37
Speaker
I've never in my life read a book that was, hey, First chapter, here's the problem. We can't win. Second chapter starts off with, see how we won a game.
00:30:50
Speaker
Yeah. But like the reason, like and we're not going to talk about it. We're not even going to show you that we won. It has nothing to do with the plot. It's not like, it's not to build anything up. It's just. It doesn't matter at all. We're just going to mention it.
00:31:01
Speaker
We did win. And then move right on very quickly, which is, i Most of this book is that. Most of this book is a thing happened that we aren't going to tell you about because I'm writing in a journal after the fact.
00:31:13
Speaker
And I'm not going to get into details because the details that are important are me standing upside down, dressed in my umpire, like in my catcher gear, upside down. That's hilarious. And you need to know that.
00:31:26
Speaker
Oh, God. Yeah. He wears it. I like it. And I like the fact that they all singer decided to write that. It's a costume and not a uniform. Right. I wore my costume upside down. and That's what I read that. I was like, wait, so is he the ah is the secret here that he's the mascot?
00:31:43
Speaker
Is he the mascot? See, now that would be actually an interesting twist. Jesse. So if he's so no important on the team, but he's really just immediately. That's not what it is. Yeah, not what it is. Everyone laughed with the costume switcheroo and had a good time, except for old man Pappas, the manager and the owner nicknamed the Great Dome, also known as Japes Throttle Bottom. How? How? How did nobody say maybe don't?
00:32:14
Speaker
Maybe don't call him Japes Throttle Bottom. no Old Japes made a bunch of money on selling construction supplies. And that will that will come back around background later. ah He's bald, but he combs his hair really long on one side and combs it over.
00:32:28
Speaker
And he weighs about 300 pounds. And speaking as a bald man who used to weigh 300 pounds, ah how dare you?
00:32:40
Speaker
ah the They call him the great, not just dome. The great, great dome. Not even it's a compliment. Yeah, he's a great dome. Got a great dome on that guy. He's got a great dome on that guy. yeah looks like a bowling ball.
00:32:55
Speaker
Pappas makes Deion change into his normal uniform before the game starts. And they're playing the reigning Eastern Division champs, the Boston Beans. First batter up for the beans is Gunther Grizzly Barr, who shakes off his nerves and hits a home run.
00:33:11
Speaker
And then three batters hit home runs as well. And then Dion talks to the pitcher Ruben, who clearly has the flu. The next hitter homers after walking, working a full count. And the Giants go on to lose 27 to three.
00:33:24
Speaker
And he throws these scores out like like. It's like, oh, we lost 21 to two, 27 to three. And we're like, these are like record setting scores for baseball.
00:33:34
Speaker
Like nobody loses by this much in baseball. And this is and this is this smacks. And this is something we run into with a lot, a lot with these worlds, worlds of power books. Jesse, ah this smacks of I sat there while someone played. I played this game or watch someone play this game and just wrote down the skeleton based on that.
00:33:53
Speaker
Because like the idea of five home runs in a row. ah shit like that. Oh, and and then like, oh yeah, and we won one, but it was whatever. Like that's this thing. They're playing this game for the second time. Do you, are you positing that our author simply sat down, watched someone play through one game And then after every ending wrote this journal.
00:34:19
Speaker
So it isn't games. This is ending. One game. and Yeah, it's one game, but would ever at the end, like, yeah, all right, this makes sense. What if I did every chapter is an inning?
00:34:34
Speaker
Have we counted the chapters? Are there nine chapters? No, there are actually 14 chapters. i I marked off the number of chapters just as just as a way to keep track. as I would laugh my dick off if they were nine chapters. And I'm pretty sure at one point.
00:34:50
Speaker
They say there are 12 innings in baseball. I'm pretty sure that's a thing that is said in this. which yeah There's a moment there. Yeah. Later, they they do have a game which goes 33 innings, which I feel like but I feel like somebody from the league would have put a stop to that. so that It's four in the morning to give to give you like this specific example of how insane this is writing wise is after these five back to back home runs,
00:35:19
Speaker
Where he is descriptive, like whack, you guessed it. For the first time in Republic League history, a team hit five homers in a row. Five. Well, I'll spare you the gory details of the rest of the game. We lost 27 to three. And then he moves on. You're like, what do you mean?
00:35:34
Speaker
What? We're just done with this. i would I would hate for things to get too interesting. So let's keep moving. Let's keep moving. I'm going tell you about the time that I wore my my my my costume upside costume upside down. That's what you're here for. strap I my hat to my crotch with a belt, as was the style at the time. You kids ever eat cottage cheese out of a helmet?
00:35:59
Speaker
Come on. We're wacky. So ah the manager never takes Ruben out of the game because the laptop told him so, which this is like foretelling the evolution of analytics in baseball.
00:36:12
Speaker
um Afterwards, they had a closed door meeting with the owner who assured them that they'll be just fine. And Dion thinks Throttle Bottom is a phony, ah which is just the worst thing you can be 1991.
00:36:22
Speaker
in Oh, yeah. nineteen ninety one ah Chapter three, it's May 1st. The team has lost every game in April and sports writers are making a field day of it. He at one point mentions that they've lost 25 games in April, but the season started and on April 15th.
00:36:39
Speaker
So and some they they doubled up some days. Clearly, there's a bunch of double headers. Yeah, are double headers back in the day. It takes it takes effort to lose that badly. It's yeah it's an actual team effort at that point.
00:36:53
Speaker
At one point, Dion bought a rubber hog nose and wore it into the stadium to try to cheer people up and people get mad at him. yeah i understand I'd be like, play baseball.
00:37:06
Speaker
like Take that off, you asshole. Ticket prices are expensive. Try to play the game. Yeah. Everyone's bummed out. The Giants are in this game. The Giants are down four to one when Dion comes to the plate. The opposing catcher tries to trick him into bunting.
00:37:26
Speaker
had to like reread this chapter. is like, wait a minute. So the catcher is throwing his voice to try to get Dion to bunt as if the first base coach is telling Dion to bunt. But the first base coach is clearly signaling for him to just swing.
00:37:42
Speaker
And he's like, on that tricky catcher. He's telling me to bunt, but it's not a bunt. It really is like major league. It has major league vibes. complete This guy has seen like four baseball. If at some point ghosts came out of a field.
00:37:56
Speaker
Yeah. We got angels in the outfield. One of the chapters ends is like, man, I really miss my dad. Anyway, like he always keeps telling me if I build it, you know what? I ignored it.
00:38:09
Speaker
I ignored it. You know what? I don't want to. I built a whole thing. I don't want to bore you with the details on that one. Anyway, we lost 19 times in a row. But after meeting Shoeless Joe Jackson, I learned my lesson writing on baseball.
00:38:23
Speaker
The doctor turned out to be a young guy the entire time, and then he became old again. That was a weird day. That was was crazy. Anyway, on to my prostate exam.
00:38:35
Speaker
What's even crazier is for as much as they lose, and this goes to when we get to the throttle bottom stuff later, for as much as they lose, that's to It's April.
00:38:48
Speaker
It's the start of a season. yourre If I'm a coach or a manager or whatever, if I'm an owner of another team, and I know I'm going to go against the Giants and they suck, I'm going to put in the the exact same reason that they won before.
00:39:01
Speaker
there's 160 some games in a season. Yeah. I don't need to win every single one in order to make it, you know, to the post season. So I'm going to, there's going some games. I'm like, yeah, you know what? Just like a Kansas city did. Let's put our third baseman. Like let's get some the like fourth string guys in to go up against the giants.
00:39:19
Speaker
And if we lose, we lose, but they got some play time. Yeah, let's call up some minor leaguers and see what happens. That would 100% happen. They wouldn't just be in a league where like break them. You know, yeah just destroy them. Put them away. 27 one. We've raised the corpse of Babe Ruth. Yeah, there's a reason.
00:39:38
Speaker
There's a reason why you don't see 21 to three or 27 to one. Because at a certain point, you're like, no we won. Put in the guys who never get to play. Right. Usually. Yeah. Yeah. It's a practice.
00:39:50
Speaker
Even in if you watch baseball today, team has like a nine run league. They're putting in a position player at pitcher just to just to there's like we're not using the bullpen today. Just like whatever. You could get hurt with the amount of time we have left in the game. So just sex put everyone else in.
00:40:05
Speaker
Exactly. ah Throw your arm. out You throw something. You tear something like because you wanted to get your 54th point. Yeah. This is mean spirited. This league.
00:40:15
Speaker
The 1991 whatever league. Republican League. It was like Republic League. Yeah, there and the Republic League. The Republican League.
00:40:26
Speaker
Cruel on purpose. Cruel on purpose. Doesn't get much more mean spirited than that. Jesus. ah They really love the Second Amendment and in the Republican League. yes Every pitch is described as firing a bullet.
00:40:41
Speaker
Like a bullet from his hand. Whoa. bullet from his hand. um So it's, ah yeah, they they get in the bottom of the fifth, their Iowa farm or Byron Teen Angel ah gets a check swing single and drives in two run, putting the Giants up five to four. And then the game gets called because of the rain and the Angels win.
00:41:01
Speaker
um Chapter four, it's May 23rd now. We jump forward in time to a game that's tied at six. It's the 32nd inning. Dion blamed himself for the game going on for so long when he had a chance to win it in the bottom of the ninth, but hit a routine ground out.
00:41:16
Speaker
Their mit manager is pitching now, and we get some nice body shaming comments in the book about his belly flopping around. the bottom of the. Yeah. Yeah. You know, out of the beginning baseball players with, you know, that's that was a funny thing, especially in the early 90s, late 80s, early ninety s Who's making fun of the physique of baseball players?
00:41:41
Speaker
They all look that way. John Kruk was an all star in the early
00:41:47
Speaker
They look like pro golfers out there. Like, that's not that's and why. Why are we shaming this guy? It looks like nine out of ten of the people on the field. Let's be honest, though. Pro golfers are jacked now.
00:41:58
Speaker
Have you seen dog golfers nowadays? They're like, it's like 30 years ago. Yeah, you'd have the your fat guy golfers. You'd have your John Daly's, but they're all like fucking ripped now. And they all saw that. They saw Tiger and he got a hot Swedish gal. And they were like, I want a hot Swedish gal.
00:42:13
Speaker
Wait a minute. I can have that, too. the Damn it. What? and More than just riches? Okay, then let's let's try for that then. Yeah. um So, yeah they yeah, they managed to win it ah because the outfielder fell asleep on a pop fly and the guy rounds the bases on an inside the park home run.
00:42:38
Speaker
ah So that yeah that's amazing. Chapter five, it's June 6th. They have the worst stats in the league. Really quickly, just before you go through their stats, which are the worst in the league. Oh, sure.
00:42:48
Speaker
We are almost halfway through this book. yeah' We're halfway through the book. Yeah. Yeah. If anyone could explain to me up until now what the plot was. us we're We're on a baseball team and thats we're bad. like and Like that's all. That's the only setup. So we are halfway through the book and it's like we just suck.
00:43:09
Speaker
I'm not going explain to you how badly we suck. I'm just going say we suck over. Just you just so you know, and i don't I don't want to take the chance that you won't realize how badly we suck.
00:43:21
Speaker
and boy I hope something happens soon. So I really got a hammer at home. Yeah. So we get ah rundown of of how bad they are. there're The team batting average is 201. um That's the average.
00:43:34
Speaker
That is the batting average for the team. That is it's remarkably bad. that's That's like I don't know how that's possible. ah yeah Yeah, I'd have to see the numbers. That doesn't make any sense.
00:43:47
Speaker
Yeah. ah Fewest home runs at 19. Most errors at 64. So they're not good at hitting and they're not good at fielding. And they have the worst pitching staff in the league with an ERA of 7.13.
00:44:01
Speaker
um For those of you who don't follow the baseballs, ah earned run average is the number of runs that you give up per nine innings. So 7.13 runs per nine innings is atrocious. That's really bad.
00:44:15
Speaker
decent major league pitcher has like between three and four, an ERA of three or four. A very good major league pitcher is down at two. And this is seven.
00:44:28
Speaker
any any smart owner would have been like send them all back to the minors just get new players yeah i right bill i was wrong yeah yeah um yeah so they're playing the los angeles ray catchers uh and everyone notices that oh wait no i skipped a chapter uh don't want to go too fast who cares yeah you forgot about the hawaiian macadamias ah Yeah, they're playing the Miami Macadamias in order to ah and ah their best starting pitcher is ah ah just Jeff Rubin wins to get a 500 record.
00:45:05
Speaker
ah And while they're enjoying a succulent Mexican dinner. um Eating a meal? a succulent Mexican meal? A succulent Mexican meal?
00:45:15
Speaker
Hands my penis? What is the charge? What is the charge? I see you know your fastball well. guys a Good job.
00:45:28
Speaker
Notice the chokehold. Ruben mentions that his secret is whoopie juice, which was used by the Greeks or Romans or Egyptians or someone as part of a healthy, holistic lifestyle.
00:45:38
Speaker
Now, I think this is a subtle reference to the fact that in the late in the 80s, from the 70s to the early 90s, one of the big issues in baseball wasn't steroids, but speed.
00:45:51
Speaker
um That was the most common that was like the the most common performance enhancing drug was speed. they um They have the phrase performance enhancing drug in or maybe not drug but performance enhancing in this book.
00:46:05
Speaker
So I assumed we were going to get some like, oh, what do we know? It's it's this and Vaseline. Vaseline. Yeah. ah Yeah. Yeah. I think, well, I did, I did take a time to look it up and, and whoopie juice actually is, uh, uh, from the ancient Greeks. Uh, it's a similar word that translates to not peer reviewed.
00:46:28
Speaker
Right, right, right, right. Yeah. That's good stuff. Yeah. Uh, it's what RFK junior is, is, uh, pitching instead of, yeah and instead of vaccines. Um,
00:46:40
Speaker
um ah So yeah everyone tries some of Ruben's whoopie juice and a few of them vomit and the others decide to leave the dinner early. Now we're in chapter six. It's June 21st they're playing the L.A. Raycatchers.
00:46:53
Speaker
And everyone notices that their second baseman, Waldo Weir, is being odd. He's making errors. He's chanting over his bat and he looks like he's lost weight. clear signs of some sort of speed meth something.
00:47:08
Speaker
um Dion investigates the clubhouse and finds that we're has been drinking the whoopie juice. Dion tries to talk to him about it while we're is waiting to go to bat, but they end up arguing. We are then goes to the plate and gets angry and takes a huge swing and hits the first home run of his career.
00:47:24
Speaker
A grand slam and the Giants win seven to six. Weir then goes into his locker room and dumps his whoopie joist into the toilet, screaming how much he hates this stuff. And then he starts smiling.
00:47:36
Speaker
Yay. Don't do speed, kids. This is this is when those this is when in the arcade version of this, the FBI don't do drugs thing would pop up and fill the screen. Nancy. it would have been the Nancy Reagan message ah yeah of of don't do drugs.
00:47:54
Speaker
And it's so good too, because the next chapter literally is like, we beat that together as a team. We beat the whoopee Moving forward, we will never go back. we are We're going to have to do this ourselves.
00:48:05
Speaker
No drugs can help us. Kids. think it's Are you paying attention? It's so very on the nose. like Nothing can stop us if we work together as a team. yes This is their I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so scared moment.
00:48:23
Speaker
yeah Everyone needs one of this is theirs. Yeah. Yeah. um and And knowing is half the battle. There you go. she joe um So they're losing to the DC windbags on July 7th. One nothing. be why would why would any team select that as their Am I right? Am I right or am I right?
00:48:46
Speaker
Anyway. Yeah. yeah anyway ah yeah Two players. OK, they're losing to the windbags one nothing and being no hit. ah Two players, Norcus and Birum decide to mess with Angel by putting glue in his glove before he took the field.
00:49:07
Speaker
And when they get out of the half inning, it's stuck on his hand and he can't take it off. Now it's time for him to go to bat with it. Oh, my gosh. ah Surely this will make us a better baseball team.
00:49:19
Speaker
Angel goes to bat with the glove on ah the the windbags pitcher has walked two people on ah the ump tries to remove it, but can't eventually Angel eventually swings with the glove on and ah dribbles one to short. But the shortstop is laughing too hard about the glove and he bobbles the ball and then throws the ball through the first baseman's leg, causing the runs to score and the Giants to win a brief point of order here. Just ah as a baseball fan.
00:49:48
Speaker
Um, the giants might've won, but they were, the no hitter was not broken up because that was an error. That was clearly an error. He did not get a hit.
00:50:02
Speaker
Just saying why the Republic rules are different. Maybe the Republic rules are different. Um, different time. It's a different era. Speed whoopie juice. and The RLB was a different time.
00:50:14
Speaker
Oh, boy it was flowing like wine. The whoopie juice, the RLBs. Yeah. It's where men were men.
00:50:25
Speaker
ah they it' basically This is basically not far away from ah the the Savannah Bananas hijinks. Yeah. Yeah. This is Harlem Globetrotters without talent.
00:50:39
Speaker
Yes. It's really this is ah well oh Or maybe it's just is Harlem go betrothed and be kept down, man. Yeah, no, just being kept down. Yeah. um It's chapter eight. That's the twist.
00:50:52
Speaker
That's the twist. It's August 18th and the team is now 62 and 62 on the season. They've they've gotten back to 500 baseball. ah They have a team meeting with the owner who is more subdued than expected. And Dion gets suspicious about why he wants everyone to just trot trust Pappas's laptop.
00:51:10
Speaker
That night, Dion goes back into the locker room and he's going to check the laptop. But then he sees that the office light is on. He listens in and here's the owner, Throttle Bottom, and a programmer talking. The programmer is working on something that will give Pappas bad ideas because Throttle Bottom has placed a big bet that the Giants will have a losing season.
00:51:27
Speaker
Now... I don't know if either of you have done any gambling, but if the Giants are the worst team ever, then the odds on them having a losing season would that like you would be making no money on this bet.
00:51:44
Speaker
I straight up wrote down the largest of notes for the entire thing, a little tiny things. This I wrote down a massive note and I said, the plan of the villain is insane.
00:51:57
Speaker
It makes no sense. I wrote down, if you were to say bet on a horse and that horse kept losing, it would have a worse and worse odds.
00:52:09
Speaker
No one would want to bet on that horse. And I was like, and if you have two horses and one horse continually beats the other horse, the payout for the winning horse would decrease dramatically over time.
00:52:21
Speaker
And I was like, and so here we are. Where his grand scheme is, I'm going to take my terrible team and bet on them losing. Unless his plan was to bet on them winning, tank the team, then take off the weights and let them come back and and storm through to the end and then win money, that would be sane.
00:52:44
Speaker
But other than that, this man is throwing away the money he would earn from people in the stands but for a bet on his losing team to lose. It makes me no, there's no logic here.
00:52:58
Speaker
That's insane. This is a story about gambling addiction. That's what this is. This is this is that's the real villain. Don't do drugs. Don't gamble. This is don't gamble. Kids. um Yeah. don't Don't be like Throttle Bottom.
00:53:12
Speaker
Don't be like Throttle Bottom. ah It's chapter nine, August 20th. ah Dion spends the night debating what to do about Throttle Bottom. He decides just to try to keep the vibes up on the team. Then he'll go to the cops after the season.
00:53:27
Speaker
The next game, they're tied with the Boston beans and suddenly Papas checks the laptop and makes a bad call based on what the computer says. The beans knock ah knock ah the team around, but Papas keeps the pitcher in.
00:53:39
Speaker
After a few more innings, Dion lets it slip to one of the other players about what's happening. And that player tells the pitcher who locks the fuck in. ah They end up winning the game and the team tells Papas everything and he decides to throw away the computer.
00:53:53
Speaker
I'll teach laptop computers. They don't teach laptop computers. No drugs, no technology, no gambling. Books, kids. Books, kids. Only books. Books and live in the woods.
00:54:05
Speaker
Don't talk to your friends and family. They don't trust you. Read books based on the games you are not allowed to play. yeah
00:54:14
Speaker
ah Kids, do your parents not want you to go see that R-rated movie? There's a graphic novelization of it. It's 20 bucks. For kids. Same as the ticket price. Go. Just just read it. Go. Just go. Go. Go. Fly. Nightmare on Elm Street for kids.
00:54:30
Speaker
For kids. The junior edition. Right. it Just get the junior edition. Oh God. i don't know. and Do kids have the, the moxie nowadays to actually buy tickets to a, like a PG movie and then go into the R rated movie.
00:54:44
Speaker
Oh, it's a theater jumping. No, I figured they would just watch it at home. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. They just find like a, a, a torrent of it or something. Yeah. Yeah. feel like it's too expensive to go to a movie theater and then get caught sinking into another movie. You just lose your money. I'd be like, yeah, that's true guys. We could do anything other than this.
00:55:02
Speaker
The first time I ever did that, i was 13, and I did it for, it was The Bone Collector. Nope. ah That Denzel, it was a debt is is Angelina Jolie and Denzel Washington, I think. That's hell of a movie to theater hop for. Yeah. like Yeah. As a 13-year-old.
00:55:20
Speaker
As a 13-year-old. I think ah it was it was, I was under 18 at the very least. I don't remember when it came out, but... There's, I can't remember what the trailer was, but I vividly remember specifically sneaking into the movie Universal Soldier 2 in order to see the trailer for another movie that I liked.
00:55:43
Speaker
and i think we I don't know. We were definitely like tweens or something at the time. i have no idea how old I was, but remember sneaking in and being like, well, i guess we could watch this movie. It's rated R. So that'd be, no, that was a bad movie.
00:55:55
Speaker
No, that's not a good movie. It's, it's always heartbreaking. Uh, when you're that age, when you realize that just because it's made for adults, uh, doesn't automatically make it good. Right. Uh, it's, it's, it's just a tragic day that we all have to live through at some point in our lives. Yeah. yeah It's wild that. OK, so Universal Soldier The Return.
00:56:21
Speaker
i think that's the one that featured Goldberg, by the way, which at the time we were very excited to see. It's actually strangely, it's the second one that was in theaters, but the fourth movie overall, because two and three were direct to DVD. course. Of course they were.
00:56:37
Speaker
What? And then and then the return got Bill Goldberg in it ah and Van Damme. But yeah, the first one was ah yeah Van Damme and Lundgren. Oh, that was 99. yeah.
00:56:49
Speaker
oh Yeah. yeah all right i wasn't. i was I was a teenager. Yeah. Still, I probably wasn't 18. No. no Yeah, it was. So 99, I was 15.
00:57:01
Speaker
So yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. um and That was the same year. The bone collector came out. um That's sneaking in. ah Let's see. Where the fuck are we?
00:57:13
Speaker
ah September I'm really tired of us talking about things that have plot lines. yeah oh god very quickly It's just too tempting. Chapter 10, September 18th. ah The Giants sweep a home and home series with the beans and they're out now only five games out of first place.
00:57:27
Speaker
They keep pushing and suddenly they're only a half game out and they're playing the Omaha landlubbers. A win would put them in tie for first. Dion has been dealing with his back injury and the bottom of the ninth in a game, he volunteers that he he should be pinch hit for. And Papa says nonsense and sends him out there.
00:57:44
Speaker
Dion sees the owner looking at him and smiling because knows Dion is injured and unlikely to get a hit. But he powers through the back pain and gets one anyway, and they win the game. He nearly passes out from pain and his teammates carry him off the field.
00:57:57
Speaker
Chapter 11, October 1st. It's the final game of the season and the Giants and the Beans are tied for first. The winner of the game wins the division. Pappas has been covering for the team by telling Throttle Bottom the computer just hasn't been working right.
00:58:11
Speaker
The Beans have their best pitcher, Hector Juarez, on the mound and he keeps them shut out through five innings. But Juarez loses his fastball at some point begins and it then his pitches begin acting like screwballs and splitters.
00:58:22
Speaker
In the bottom of the ninth, Dion tries a bunts and bunts it down the first baseline. Him and Juarez collide and Dion gets tagged out. But a piece of sandpaper falls out of Juarez's glove. He's been scuffing the ball to get the movement he wants.
00:58:36
Speaker
Dion throws him out of the game and the bench is empty. Dion sees that the sandpaper comes from throttle bottom construction supplies. What? Womp womp womp.
00:58:48
Speaker
After the fight ends, the game gets the only possible way he could have done it. On the basis of reality, I know of no construction company that would ever buy from throttle bottom construction supplies.
00:59:01
Speaker
Yeah, I don't. I just just like but that name seems weird. I mean, like, I don't know other guy he about this guy. don't know. I don't trust this guy. I don't know. I don't I don't trust what his sandpaper can do. Let's like Throttle Bottom.
00:59:15
Speaker
Throttle Bottom. With a name like Throttle Bottom, you know it's good. Do you think it's a family name or did he rename himself based on someone chose it? Someone chose that name.
00:59:27
Speaker
Oh, no, but though, like, Guys, though, like, you know, it's like I'm saying I'll i'll i'll ah ah strangle your ass, you know, like got yeah like like like I'm a big tough. Right. Yeah. Yeah. yeah bottom But they call me the dome.
00:59:42
Speaker
The dome. The dome. yeah Yeah. You find out that all of this shit is stuff that he's chosen for himself. It makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, like that is is like I chose the name Japes Throttle Bottom.
00:59:58
Speaker
Oh, yeah. So ah after the fight ends and the game gets going, the next batter is Farrar and he gets two quick strikes, but then hits a ball that looks like it's being it's been caught at the wall. But it's a home run and the Giants win the pennant.
01:00:13
Speaker
The Giants win the pennant. um I literally at this point was thought, oh, great. We're done. We're done. No, no, there is.
01:00:24
Speaker
There has not been a moment of intrigue or real plot or like there was clearly at some point the mystery of why are they so bad? Yeah. But then on their own, they solved it.
01:00:36
Speaker
It wasn't like yeah they discovered the computer and it was messing with them. They got good on their own. And then when they got rid of the computer, they were like x-men level players they're invincible yeah it's just they just they believed in themselves into a pennant like that's that's yeah yeah it's it yeah all right tell you good story early night is not over Chapter 12, October 3rd. I have one sentence for this chapter.
01:01:06
Speaker
Dion is bummed after the Giants lose the first game of the championship series, 17 to 1. Chapter 13, October 12th. The series has been tied at three games apiece. Before the second game, Pappas gave them a pep talk and Farrar announced that he is retiring at the end of the season, win or lose.
01:01:22
Speaker
They were in a hole against L.A. but came back to tie the series. Dion decides to go to the park in the morning to get some batting practice in. But he resumes right. ah ah Then it comes back ah that he resumes writing in his journal that he didn't do any batting practice because when he got to the park, you overheard a car call from Throttle Bottom to his loan shark telling him he wants to take out a loan against the money owed and bet that the Giants will win Stats. series and I'm like i don't think a loan shark is going to do that no yeah oh well by all means them yes yeahre by all means we're friends I mean what where would my customer service as a loan shark be if I if I didn't accommodate this insane request this this chapter this this entry though I think summarizes perfectly the problems with this book and there are many but the but but it's basically like
01:02:22
Speaker
We're in the middle of the World Series. And when we should be focusing on the action of the World Series and the players and the drama of that, we are instead talking about things like, well, you know, this guy who's sort of like the old man of the team and we all look up, to he's retiring.
01:02:39
Speaker
That would matter to you, reader, if we had spent more than three sentences talking about him this entire book. Yeah. But I just want to mention that all this really comes from the perspective of the writer, the, the, the journalist here being like, I'm going to write down my thoughts.
01:02:57
Speaker
The only thing is we are never allowed fully into his mind or the backstory of this. Like if he was, hey, it's day one, I've just joined this team and I'm gonna write to you about all the things happening on the team.
01:03:07
Speaker
And sure sure then we could learn, he's like, oh, I met this guy today. He was this, this, and this. And he's like, no, no, this is- He took me under his wing. Yeah, he's like, I've been on this team. and We suck. I'm going to write about how we suck.
01:03:19
Speaker
And then, oh, I discovered something absolutely crazy going on. I'm not to talk about the sport, though. i will have her mentioned that time I went to the park and I heard some stuff go down. And then here's what I know about Dion.
01:03:33
Speaker
He has a wife. His wife. That's right. I couldn't tell you anything about his wife. I don't know. um I don't know her at all. I know she, she, he, there may not be a wife. He could be an unreliable narrator for all we know. This could just be the ravings of a mad lunatic. Who's the mascot of the team.
01:03:50
Speaker
His wife is a pillow. Yeah. yeah He's like yeah, I went and saw my wife anyway. Next chapter. Like, OK. All right. um Final chapter, ah October 14th or October 13th.
01:04:05
Speaker
Dion tells Papas about what he heard and Papas tells him not to worry about it and to focus on the game. Best advice of the book. ah The game starts in his pandemonium. It's a back and forth affair until the bottom of the eighth when Angel drives Jacobs in with a hit and Jacobs is safe on a collision at the plate.
01:04:22
Speaker
ah Then it's the top of the ninth and LA gets the bases loaded with no outs. They're best headers hitters at the plate. He nearly gets a home run, but then the ball, ah but then after that, he hits a ball that's a dribbler in front of the plate. Dion grabs it.
01:04:35
Speaker
He steps on home for the fourth. Then he throws the third for the double play and then from third is thrown to second. They turn the triple play. It's bananas and they win the world series. end.
01:04:47
Speaker
Yeah. There we go. yeah Yeah, I will give them full credit. They don't they they don't give us an epilogue or anything. They're like, we know you're done. It's fine. We know you're done. There's actually a moment in this book I wanted to also point out.
01:05:00
Speaker
There's they talk about how Pappas is ah making bad calls based on the laptop. And he he goes, everyone knows a right handed pitcher should be brought in to face a left hand batter. i was like, no.
01:05:14
Speaker
No, it's it's it's supposed to be a left handed pitcher to face a left handed batter because the left handed pitcher can't see the release point of a left handed bat. Like and I was like, I was like, that's just such a basic baseball thing. It's like you go say you go same, same for for matching pitchers and batters if you're trying to get an advantage. Right.
01:05:37
Speaker
Nope. No, they go opposite. That's okay. Cool. Cool. Shows how much Dion knows. ah Jesse, what'd you think of this book? ah
01:05:48
Speaker
Book is a generous term. I mean, it is shaped like one and it's probably bound like one, but I don't know. Like, I imagine they there was no Like Hero's Journey.
01:06:04
Speaker
There was no forward action. I'm pretty sure, I guess, Throttle Bottom is the antagonist, but really just seems like the concept of baseball was. Yeah.
01:06:17
Speaker
ah Baseball in general is the enemy. like i just It seems to be missing many things that must be needed to tell a story. This, I will say, it does in fact seem like we stumbled on someone's diary.
01:06:30
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This has the quality of a person whose diary we found opened up to a random page and just started reading for exactly 14 entries.
01:06:42
Speaker
And then we're like, well, that's enough of that. And then close it and walked away. Yeah, right. Right. It does. It does sound like something that someone wrote ah not for anyone ah but themselves. Right. Possibly not even for themselves.
01:06:55
Speaker
yeah Yeah. Because he would know all the things he's talking about in here when he mentions a character. But we do not have any clue what he's referring to. We just assume. All right. Yep. no That's that's that person.
01:07:08
Speaker
Okay. that's That's them. Phil? ah ah I'm going to go ahead and say it. This is the worst ah ah Worlds Power book we've read. ah this is This is the worst, and they are all pretty bad. um Rather than a go on and belabor the point over this being ah poorly written, poorly conceived, poorly plotted,
01:07:32
Speaker
ah poorly adapted. I'm just good. This the ah base ah basis loaded to came out in 1990. It has no plot line. So I'm just going to read a small list of games that came out in 1990 that have plot lines that might have ah adapted well.
01:07:47
Speaker
ah The immortal. There's one. Sure. You know, we we already did Snake's Revenge. That one. that went No, no, we didn't. There was no snake Snake's Revenge. And Mega Man 3, we could have done that. ah I believe a Journey to Silius has some sort of plot line. Chrysalis, why not?
01:08:06
Speaker
Chrysalis would have been would have been good. Absolutely. Star Tropics. um I would I would have accepted the adventures of Lolo to at this point. And yeah, that was I i will say that this one is actually it is the junior version of sure worlds of power books like this one in Mega Man 2. So it's about like it just I think that oh the only thing that makes a difference, though, is it's like 20 pages shorter.
01:08:33
Speaker
Exactly. And that's, yeah and that's the blessing. The blessing is at least it was, it's 20 pages shorter. It's, it's, it's, you know, half an hour that I got to spend, uh, with your, with your son, with your son, you got, you got time back with your child and you don't have to like think of cats in the cradle while, while you're reading this book.
01:08:53
Speaker
still did though. You still, I still did. I am so, I went down the rabbit hole with you just now, and I went to go look up games from 1990, 1991, and um one of them stood out to me.
01:09:09
Speaker
couldn't oh yeah I was like, oh, no, this – what? um On Google, it's just called Sex Olympics, and I'm like, huh. So i clicked it um I clicked it, and this is might be the greatest name I've ever – alternatively titled brad stallion in the sex olympics that's the name of a game that existed that from 1991 could have made a book on that the finale of the brad stallion series look at the cover on this thing that he made it to the sex olympics he actually had to work for it
01:09:48
Speaker
Oh my God, they're selling it on eBay for $2,500. It's so funny. Phil, this is literally up your alley. It got a 6% review from Amiga, which is very funny.
01:10:02
Speaker
I have to play this game. Back when Phil was a more more had made YouTube videos, he had a series called Phil Plays a Porno. Yeah.
01:10:14
Speaker
And this is built for that. Oh, this is. i I can't. Oh my God. This exists. Yeah, this is crazy. This is just ah this is just a dirtier version of leisure suit Larry.
01:10:29
Speaker
I'm like graphics wise. I'm kind of impressed. Yeah. I mean, some of these screenshots are like boobs. That's crazy. Look at them. Yeah. So there was lots of things they could have done rather than just a baseball game that had no plot.
01:10:44
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. i they' are I'm just going to read the plot of Sex Olympics right from Wikipedia. Okay. Dr.
Sex Olympics Plot with Dr. Dildo
01:10:53
Speaker
Dildo has entered the eponymous so Sex Olympics to further his plans of world domination. there's a full up. He's back. Dr. Dildo's back. He's back.
01:11:02
Speaker
Yeah, that's already more set up than this book. Headquarters is assigned Brad Stallion, government agent and captain of the phallic spaceship, the big thruster against him. Just in case you didn't notice that it was phallic.
01:11:15
Speaker
right Over the course of the Sex Olympics, both Dr. Dildo and Brad Stallion seek to have sex with as many women as possible. Brad Stallion must visit several different planets to accomplish this. oh See, I need to know if it's just like Brad's going around sexing or if it's like competitions.
01:11:36
Speaker
Like, is it like, a you know. It's a competition. But like, if it's the Olympics, is there like a luge? Like figure skating? Oh, is there like a, you know, like a sprint?
01:11:49
Speaker
Is it the basically California games of sex? Yeah. Like, his yeah, it's like the the the Mario Sonic Olympic of sex. Yeah. Yeah. yeah Yeah. This is the fourth Brad Stallion's game. It started in 1988 with Sex Vixens from Space. Oh, thank God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 1989 with Planet of Lust, which was followed up by The Bride of the Robot,
Exploring Competitions in the Sex Olympics
01:12:13
Speaker
which, oh boy. Cool.
01:12:14
Speaker
And finally ah came to a climax, let's say, with the 1996 Olympics, a new Brad Stallion for a new decade. Yeah.
01:12:27
Speaker
They might be giants released flood and Brad Stallion released the sex Olympics. So I'm going to find these games and play them. ah They have to be under abandoned where somewhere.
01:12:39
Speaker
they have to Oh, yeah, My Abandonware. You should check to see if they're ridiculous on My Abandonware. I'm going to play these games. Speaking of playing, That
01:12:51
Speaker
that was quick. yeah Thanks, AbandonwareDOS.com.
01:12:58
Speaker
Oh, God. um Speaking of playing games, ah we end every episode ah by asking one question. ah so I'll start with Phil.
Phil's Gaming Experiences
01:13:10
Speaker
Phil, what are you playing? ah i I am playing. I'm still playing Occlude, which I'm enjoying. ah it's it's it's ah It's kind of, if you ah explain in the last episode, it's kind of, it's solitaire.
01:13:28
Speaker
And every game of solitaire has a different, uh, uh, like tarot card assigned to it. And each one of them has a different story attached to it. So ballot row solitaire kind of, and but it's also horror themed and each, uh, one, each, uh, uh,
01:13:47
Speaker
story, if you will, has a secret rule. You can't just, you're trying to play solitaire and this in in the standard ways, but each one of them has ah has a secret rule that you have to figure out through gameplay to basically unlock the full story behind them. And I'm slowly accumulating like props on my desk that have notes on them. and some It's, it's, it's,
01:14:15
Speaker
ah It's weird and i'm I'm enjoying it a lot.
Demo Discussions: 'Lone Shark' and 'Slots and Daggers'
01:14:18
Speaker
It's it's definitely worth a look. um I also played a couple of demos. I played the demo for Lone Shark, which was bonkers.
01:14:26
Speaker
ah Speaking of, we talked a lot about Lone Sharks. Hey. It's apparently the full game. i forget if it's out or not, is is like half an hour long. So I don't know what the fuck it's doing with a demo. But the demo was like five, ten minutes long.
01:14:41
Speaker
ah You're literally, i think, an Italian fisherman who owes... some mobster or something like the equivalent of a million dollars and you have to catch fish and sell fish to pay off this loan shark and you meet a magical fish and and strange things ah continue. And I will say the demo ends on ah ah on a ah ah pretty bizarre startling note, which I got a ah real kick out of.
01:15:10
Speaker
um And I, ah Jesse, i've I've been talking about how this is the year of my low effort gaming. I'm going to be playing like the games that I can finish ah pretty quickly that have a story or that are like ah just like card games and shit like that. that's That's what this is for me.
Addictive Nature of Slot-Based RPGs
01:15:31
Speaker
And so that one fits the bill. I might have to ah pick the one because it's it's weird as shit. It looks interesting.
01:15:38
Speaker
Similar games that you've played, Dredge and Mouthwashing. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That sounds right. Yeah, it's got vibes both of those. Based on your description, that sounds accurate. Yeah, yeah, it tracks. um but The one that that I, the demo I played ah this week that I think is the most interesting was Slots and Daggers.
01:15:58
Speaker
um This is a, ah it's a ah role-playing game, roguelike kind of situation, but it's ah the mechanic is slot machine um and it's done in kind of a weird I don't know. i don't know what they're doing. It's almost like a weird post apocalyptic fallout. He kind of thing, but it's a fantasy game at the same time.
01:16:21
Speaker
um It's got some real style to it. It's really, really very interesting, but I have to admit that the fantasy While playing it, I got addicted to it pretty quick. The demo really gets you. And I and i couldn't help but go, so this is just what games are now.
01:16:38
Speaker
Like, it's it's like you can take, you can start at Vampire Survivors and get a direct line to it. Because it's like, you know, you win your shit. And it's still got the grim, dark, post-apocalyptic shit going on. But you're still, oh, I made some money. That's awesome. And it's, it's.
01:16:59
Speaker
It's the cynical part of me is like, Jesus Christ, this is just what we're doing. ah This is just what games are now.
Enjoyment of Easy and Card-Based Games
01:17:07
Speaker
ah But then again, I also pumped two hours into it this afternoon. so it is what it is.
01:17:14
Speaker
um Yeah, it it's ah I'm of two minds about it, as you may have noticed. I think it's really interesting. I think the art direction is really cool. um I think it's streamlined ah and it's satisfying.
01:17:29
Speaker
It's got that roguelike kind of thing of of, you know, you're not going to win the first or second or third or fourth. go through and you're just building up your abilities you're learning what kind of weapon combinations you like you're unlocking ah you have three panels for your slot machine and you can eventually unlock a fourth and a fifth one um stuff like that and it's really well done I it's a friedman
01:18:00
Speaker
i guess but like None of this. It's a whole bunch of random ass kind of indie looking games that I have no experience with. that But this one is really interesting uh i think it's got style it's got uh it's got the addictive quality uh and it has me sitting there going don't know jesus christ oh god um but that's a good problem to have i think so yeah that's uh that's pretty much where i'm at uh jesse what do you plan
01:18:37
Speaker
A lot. I mean, right now is... I don't even know where to start. I'm going to completely skip over Hades 2 and Silksong because they exist. We know they exist. They're awesome. Moving on. um i ah Oh, and also, depending on when this goes out, I may be playing Final Fantasy Tactics right now. ah But oh yeah hey um currently, demo-wise, I just played a demo for Let's Build a Dungeon, which is a game where you make an MMO.
Love for FMV Games
01:19:07
Speaker
Like, you're creating an MMO, and it is super silly and fun, and you have to keep it going. You can just decide you want to make it a um ah Like cash grab thing if you want you can get real weird.
01:19:21
Speaker
It's very fun. Oh, that looks fun. Oh, it's cute. Yeah, yeah, and then i am ah obsessed and will always be obsessed with FMV games excuse me And so I love FMV games, always have.
01:19:36
Speaker
And so I just played two that I'm currently in love with because they're completely different. One is Road to Empress, which is a Chinese produced production that may have the highest production quality I've ever seen in the history of any FMV that looks like a sea drama.
01:19:54
Speaker
And it is... straight up a game that has the exact same ah world as Game of Thrones, basically, where one choice will get you killed.
01:20:04
Speaker
And so the premise is you are a courtesan who has gone to the seventh century emperor's ah you know capital. You are there to be one of the many courtesans, and your objective is to Last as long as you can and get as high as you can because all the other quarter sins are plotting against you and everyone's trying to take you out, but you're trying to take them out. amazing But you also don't want to stand out.
01:20:29
Speaker
You don't want to stand out. You don't want to do it. So you, you have to walk a fine line. But you also need to know a little bit of like Chinese history a little bit. Yeah. And especially if you're like a Dynasty Warriors player like me, like Mandate of Heaven. I know what to do.
01:20:43
Speaker
Right. There's a great example is the when you start the game. It sets you up for failure. You'll meet a girl and she's like, oh my god, my best friend from when we were young.
01:20:55
Speaker
I didn't know you were to be here. My mother brought you this ah this pin to stick in your hair because it's so beautiful. Just like you, please take it you're like, oh no, I couldn't. And then the like lead courtesan in charge shows up.
01:21:07
Speaker
And she's like, whose is this? And she shows off the the you know the pin. And you can say it was my friend's. You can say it's yours. You can say that it's someone else's.
01:21:19
Speaker
If you say, oh, that's mine, because your friend gave it to you as a gift, and you don't know whether she's going to get in trouble, so you're saying, ah, it's mine. You are punished so severely, you end up dead.
01:21:31
Speaker
Because she's like, because the headcourcin's jealous of its beauty or whatever. So from that point on, the moment you start, it's like, Learn a lesson. Don't do it. So you straight up have to play like you are one of the mysterious characters who always gets people killed in Game of Thrones.
01:21:49
Speaker
Like you're either Littlefinger or Varys. You have to do one of those. You have to like long con everyone. Everyone's your friend, but also you'll betray them whenever you can. It's crazy. That's very fun. And then i I played another opposite game called the Fame Game.
01:22:03
Speaker
And it is a game where you are a
Review of 'The Fame Game'
01:22:07
Speaker
man who is in Hollywood. I must stress to you, everything you're about to look up, I see the two of you looking. Uh-huh. You will think it's porn. I swear you will be like, ah is this porn?
01:22:16
Speaker
It's not. Not even remotely. But all the advertising, all the clips, the intro cinematic, when you get to the title screen, It plays like this sort of piano melody, and then it shows like Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood, scenes from Hollywood, but then immediately cuts, and then music that sounds like the ride of the Rohirrim starts playing.
01:22:35
Speaker
And it's just women in bikinis, women in like, ah you know, underwear hitting on you, characters from the game. And you're like, what the hell is this game? So anyway, I had to play it.
01:22:47
Speaker
And you are a man who is in L.A. for your very first day. You have joined your best friend on the set of a, i think it's like the number one daytime soap opera.
01:22:59
Speaker
And stuff goes down on the set. The lead actor is fired. And they need someone to fill in right now. And because you're so incredibly handsome, apparently. and The only reason I can deduce that you must be handsome is because you have the charisma of a brick.
01:23:14
Speaker
But every single person on set is like, My God, the things I would do to you. You're like, what are So you must be beautiful because you are the most boring man who ever lived.
01:23:25
Speaker
And so they they give you the job. And now you have to navigate being famous overnight with all every single female character in the show slash in your life. like Now it's like, are we dating? Can we date? you're If anything, it made me trust everyone less. I was like, I don't even know you.
01:23:43
Speaker
Like, I'm worried about... So, very fun. ah Incredibly silly. i love FMV games. They are great. I'm adding it to my wish list. We've actually got a... I put an FMV game novelization on our on our calendar. Holy shit, which one? Tex Murphy under Achilles. Yo, I love Tex Murphy!
01:24:04
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Awesome. We're going to be doing that one soon. Oh, God. Actually, that's ah what was the other one that was? ah Oh, we did an FMV point and click. ah Fuck. What one was that? um couple of months ago.
Mixed Feelings on 'Silent Hill F'
01:24:19
Speaker
ah The horror one. oh, you're not talking about Gabriel Knight, are you? No, not Gabriel Knight. That was that was the second one was an FMV. Hold on. I'm going to fucking. I wonder if there's a novelization of Night Trap.
01:24:37
Speaker
Oh, oh, uh, uh, uh, seventh guest. Seventh guest. and 11th hour. yeah Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We, we read the novelization of that. That's awesome. Yeah.
01:24:47
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Um, a lot of random shit like that. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so and playing, ah I was playing Silent Hill. Oh, wait, should have been like, give what are you playing? Yeah. Do it. am i do it Yeah. Yeah.
01:25:04
Speaker
Yeah. So I'm playing Silent Hill. left Actually, i I finished it for the most part. um i am yeah So how long did it take you to finish it for the most part? Well, I played 90% of the it and then a friend of mine was like, ah posted something about ah like, oh man, the true ending is terrible. And I was like, okay, kind of killed my motivation. So I was like, i fuck it. I'm just going to watch the ending.
01:25:34
Speaker
ah Because I wasn't having like the best time with it already. So I watched the endings. It's like, it's fine. But and I'm not going to spoil anything, um but it does. It falls into some trope stuff that I'm like, oh, I fucking hate that storytelling wise. Like it's one of those things that if it happens in a story being told to me, it's like, oh, we're losing five points, five out of ten points right there because it drives me up a wall. have me worried. I'm ah I'm currently four hours in.
01:26:05
Speaker
okay and I am. I definitely have had that moment where I've said to myself, I swear to God, this turns out to be a dream. Or this turns out to any sort of, I was like, I'm gonna lose my mind. Because Silent Hill does that kind of like, it's emotional purgatory.
01:26:21
Speaker
right then Sometimes it's legitimately a cult. It depends on the game. It's like legitimately a cult. it's it's like and That's the thing about Silent Hill 2, right?
Exploring 'Hell is Us'
01:26:30
Speaker
Where it's like, it's emotional purgatory, but it's also happening.
01:26:36
Speaker
Yes. You know what I mean? It's like, it's both a dream that's actually happening. You walk at the end. Like it isn't you woke up. And so for this one, it this is Sandhill F. It kind of has like, is this purgatory or is this real?
01:26:51
Speaker
Is this a real... like There's things happening where the things that are happening, I'm wondering to myself, is this a dream? Are we dreaming? yeah And if that's the case, if that's what you're telling me, and I hope it's not, I will be like... not telling you anything. I will confirm nor deny anything that that that that kills me about it.
01:27:09
Speaker
um I was already like, here's the thing. i was I was like, man, like five hours in, I was like, man, I fucking love this game. And then like... I'm like nine hours in. I'm literally on like the last area or whatever.
01:27:23
Speaker
And I just kind of like ran out of steam with the combat bullshit where it's just like, it's like, oh, there's too much combat for Silent Hill stuff. It's like kill all the enemies.
01:27:35
Speaker
Like, no. i I, James Sunderland would just fucking book it, you know, through this area. So, that's kind of where I was. uh, I don't know. Silent Hill laugh I was, i was just like,
01:27:50
Speaker
yeah uh uh silksong love it i i actually am most of the way through acts three um at this point but it it's kind of like a it's my steam deck game so i only play it when my wife and i are winding down for the night and we have uh some sitcom on in the background that we've seen a thousand times before we go to bed so it takes a while to get through that ah But new game that I just started like an hour before we came on. I started playing Hell is Us.
01:28:21
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah. Which sounds which seems interesting. And and ah Jesse, have you read Blood Meridian? Yes. ah OK, that it's there's like its one of the books we reference a lot in this show. There's a guy in the fucking opening cut scene that is literally Judge Holden.
01:28:40
Speaker
There is, um, yeah, no, having played having seen that opening and played a little bit of this game, ah weird is like not even the right way to describe it. Yeah.
01:28:51
Speaker
This game is very strange. and Very strange. Some characters seem like they shouldn't exist and other people are just people. Yeah. Yeah, i'm i'm I'm playing it and I'm like, this feels like somebody watched or played through ah Pathologic 2 and then decided to make a Dark Souls out of it.
01:29:15
Speaker
ah oh Yeah, there's... there's she It is straight up just like, we have to go back so I can learn more about my family. But they're in a war zone. but Like a real-ass war zone where a war is happening. But also...
01:29:29
Speaker
there's an ancient mystery of a like queen who had magic powers. You're like, what is this game? And then you, and then you, yeah, you, got the first thing I did was I found some old man. i was like, what's up old man. He's like, I'm just hanging out here. Uh, hoping to kill some sabs.
01:29:47
Speaker
And was like, are we, are, are, we do are we in the middle of a war crime thing going on right now? du Dude's like, they killed my boys, so i'm gonna get my revenge. And he's like, damn, all right, we're like doing a thing.
01:29:59
Speaker
And then immediately after it's like, go into this cave and learn the lore of an ancient queen who had magic powers. And you're like, what? What are we doing? It's bizarre. Or not. It's like the game, at at the first thing that pops up in the game is like, we're not going to fucking tell you what to do.
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01:30:18
Speaker
There's no quests.
01:30:19
Speaker
There's no nothing. there's There's no map. There's nothing. One of the quests is literally, follow the wind chimes into the forest. They'll lead you to a thing. And you're like, ah okay. Okay.
01:30:35
Speaker
It's very old school gaming style, but also it's it's insane. I bless them for taking a swing. Huge, just a huge massive swing. i I feel like I need something a little bit more weird and and and just like less like less ah less like less tunnel vision-y than like something like... Because Silent Hill F is a very linear game. you know You're just going.
01:31:02
Speaker
And Hell is Us, i'm just I popped in and i was like, oh, it's and just it's just going to get weird. Okay, fine.
01:31:11
Speaker
But yeah. ah No, that's that's all I've been playing. So ah that brings us to the end of the episode. Jesse, thank you so much for being on. My pleasure. yeah Also, sorry for... a Anyone out there who didn't play Silent Hill 2?
01:31:30
Speaker
You know what? I don't... I think that the statu of limitation statute of limitations is up on Silent Hill 2. and You know, it's not like we said James Sunderland ah did anything.
01:31:43
Speaker
and right Right, right, right. There's no reason that he would have to be in some sort of emotional purgatory. we James Sunderland did nothing wrong.
01:31:54
Speaker
If we can all accept that. I'm going to start. I'm going to a red. Are you in your own emotional purgatory right now? Are you asking if I'm married with children? Yes.
01:32:07
Speaker
I'm going to get a ah MAGA red hat that just says James Sunderland did nothing wrong. Ha ha ha ha
01:32:17
Speaker
ah but All the questions that could be raised are answered by my hat. um yeah Yeah. All right there. ah Jesse, do you got anything to plug or pitch for ah for those of you, those folks that are listening? Sure, sure, sure. um Yeah, you can find me over on youtube.com slash jessiecox or twitch.tv slash jessiecox.
01:32:40
Speaker
I'm on way too many podcasts this point. I do Cox and Crandor, which is like a spoof of morning show. I do Chuluminati, which is a show that is myself and ah good boy Mathis and Alex.
01:32:53
Speaker
are doing paranormal things and UFOs and whatnot. um And then I am on the Star Wars Old Cannon Book Club. And then on Fridays, I do GeekEnders, which is our weekend show where we kind of be nerds and hang out.
01:33:09
Speaker
And then, yeah, I'm doing all sorts of stuff. I'm making games. I'm involved in all sorts. If you want, please go buy any the game from the Monster Prom series. I would love that. And also, I got a few other games coming out and working on.
01:33:22
Speaker
Hell yeah. So more to come. Yeah. More to come. More to come. Well, thanks everybody for listening. You can find us on the social medias at PixletPod, Blue Sky, Instagram, not Twitter anymore.
01:33:37
Speaker
ah and you can go to Patreon.com slash PixletPod. Jump into our Discord through there. um Thank you so much for listening and have a good evening.