Transcript
Speaker: The Salambia Saga is a story -driven, action -packed, fun -filled D &D podcast. I'm your DM, Anthony, and today we are joined by Lucas, playing Roshka. Oh, that's me! That's me! I'm your friendly goblin -neighborhood! I mean neighbor -goblin -hood! That's me! Larry, playing Tiller B. Willer. Why hello, everybody. Welcome to the podcast, and I hope you guys have an excellent experience. And Robin, playing Fosk.
Speaker: Hello, I am currently eating a peppermint. Do forgive me. I forgive you. Thanks, Arashka. You're welcome. So today we will be having ourselves a little holiday special for everyone.
Speaker: you all have settled down somewhere in your travels for a nice little night's rest and as you're all drifting off to sleep in your respective tents and whatnot you guys begin to feel a very strange feeling wash over you and suddenly all three of you find yourself
Speaker: In a very bright and white land, there's bits of snow falling from the sky, colorful buildings and trees and whatnot in the distance. You find yourself in a small little snow clearing, the chilly air touching your skin. You're definitely not prepared for this. And then suddenly you feel a nice little feeling of warmth.
Speaker: as you see on each of you fit perfectly to your size, a nice fur jacket placed on your person, some nice fur lined pants, red and green colored shoes that have a nice little point to them and a fur lined hat that points to the top, a nice little red pom pom attached to top of it.
Speaker: And you feel much warmer now. Hey, guys. Hey, Roshka. What is this? Um, I am not really... What is going on? And, well... Glad to see you're wearing clothes, Roshka. You like them? I... I don't know.
Speaker: This feels weird. I know, it feels so weird wearing pants. I don't like it. I like the rest of it, but I don't like the pants. Also, what's this thing on the ground? It's really cold. What is this? All I have to say is stay away if you see that it's yellow.
Speaker: Why is it like poison? Yeah. Let's just say it's very salty.
Speaker: So as you're talking to each other, you see in front of you pops two figures. One, a pale and pasty figure covered in the same clothing that you are. Nice bright green eyes, but a very sad, maybe a bit disturbed look on their face. And also next to them,
Speaker: A quite large creature looks very similar to a deer that you have seen before, but antlers are much more pointy and large. The coat is much thicker and the hooves are larger. And the small creature begins speaking. Oh!
Speaker: You guys, uh, you got here. Huh. I guess you're the help that we've been looking for. Oh? Uh, sure. Hello. Hello. Why, um, um, you're saying you're looking for help?
Speaker: Ah, yes. My name is Vlesas, and next to me is my friend, Imora. And you hear Imora say... And we've been kind of... We're in a bit of a pickle, as you would say.
Speaker: So, for a little while now, Santa, our leader, the big guy, you know, red clothing, red cheeks, nice nose, round belly, you know, that guy, white beard. I'm not aware of him, sorry. Oh, Santa's red?
Speaker: Yeah, Santa's very real. How do you how do you think you get your your presents every? You guys don't know Santa I mean the little one does with you you guys don't I'm not gonna lie. No, I Don't know if it's some type of a human or
Speaker: Uh, monster tradition, but not where I was raised. Well, uh, Santos, he's, he's a guy. He, you know, gives kids presents and uses magic and whatnot, you know, all that jazz. Sounds like a human tradition. Yeah. I guess it kind of is. Um.
Speaker: You, uh, well, you see, he's gone missing. And, uh, his spot has been taken over by his, uh, his, his evil twin. Um, and we, we kind of need your help to, you know, uh, get rid of him.
Speaker: Cause currently they're just ripping apart our town of the small, small little North Pole, ruining our workshop and all that stuff. And it's almost time to make presents and give them out to the kids for the holidays. Oh my. That's not ideal. Well, this isn't the first time we were summoned under mysterious circumstances to help out a strange group. So I guess so.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm absolutely for helping. Yeah. It's not par for the course, for us, at least, I think not. This is good, we can help. I know magics.
Speaker: Ah, great! Well, we have no time to lose, so just follow me this way. And he starts, he hops on top of Ymoras, and then they begin galloping away. Hey! Hey, wait up! I'm not that fast! You notice that with the shoes that you have on, your movement speed is doubled. Oh yeah! And you can keep up quite easy.
Speaker: And so as you guys are running towards there, you get closer to the town and you see it's not quite as quaint as you thought from a distance and there's actually smoke billowing from some houses and there's light of fire here and there. And you see bodies on the ground, the blood kind of leeching into the snow. As we approach the village,
Speaker: You would notice Tiller's heart grow bright the size of a small flame and out of that flame he would summon his owl companion named Barry. Wow! How did you do that Tiller? Well, I'm starting to remember some things but
Speaker: It felt like this little one wanted to join us on our adventure. He was calling out to me. Hello, little guy! Hello! We're gonna save Santa! I mean, we're gonna kill Santa! That's a save Santa, but... Santa isn't. Anyway, we gotta move!
Speaker: So, uh, as you reach the village, you know, you see, uh, Vlesa Sennimorus kind of just chill there for a second, waiting on, you know, just something to happen. Um, and as you guys step forward.
Speaker: You notice that the area behind you just disappears and a wall kind of forms behind you so that you can't escape. Oh. And out pop. Let's see. One.
Speaker: Gingerbread man with claws instead of just the regular rounded hand. Frosting eyes sketched in a quite evil and menacing way and sharp candy cane razor pieces for teeth.
Speaker: You also notice two more elves pop out that look kind of like Vlasis. However, they are now gray skinned. Their ears are much more droopy. Their eyes are this really weird purple and like grayish color. Their teeth are also sharp and they have claws instead of the regular just, you know,
Speaker: hands and nails. And they go ahead and run at you guys. So go ahead and roll initiative. Oh my lord. I ain't got a natural 20. That'd be a 17 from Fosk. Okey dokey. So that's a 23.
Speaker: Okie dokie. And for Tiller. What do you have for initiative? Oh, I was muted. I'm so sorry. I said that I got a five. And I believe my spirit shares my initiative. Yes, yes, it does.
Speaker: Okay, so first will be Rasha. Okay, I see this gingerbread man, and I'm really angry at him. So I'm gonna stick my hand into my pouch, throw in a bunch of black powder into my mouth, and then do a big spit at him. All right, roll the hit. That's a natural one. Rasha, no.
Speaker: So as you charged your spit up and you spit out that green fire, it goes straight past this guy and into the tree that's in the center of the little square that's ahead of you and just knocks it right down, ornaments and all. No! How could you do this, gingerbread man?
Speaker: And is that all you can do, Roshka? Yeah, that's all I can do. Okay, so now it'll be the Gingerbread Man's turn. He's going to quickly walk up to the closest. We'll just say that that is Roshka. Yeah, I took a step forward. And that'll be a 15 to hit. That hits me. All right. And that is going to be...
Speaker: Uh, three? Four points of bludgeoning damage. Alright, so that brings us to Phos, because that is all the gingerbread man can do. Well, you know, um, the gingerbread man seems pretty sketchy, and, uh,
Speaker: I don't know how Roshka's gonna knife him to death, so I'm gonna help out there. So, I would like to approach the Ginger Pride Man, and I'll hit him with a high right here. Okay. Take a swing. Yeah, that would be a 22 to hit. That will hit. That would be 13 units of ouch. Ouch!
Speaker: wow okay and this is slashing piercing piercing and it's death death points so you you you see the the the thin body of this gingerbread man uh as you you know pierce your rapier into its side it goes right through
Speaker: You see it crumble significantly from every point it can. You said 13? 13, yep. Okay. So you notice that this gingerbread man in very colloquial terms is extremely crumbling. Is that all you can do? Yeah. I bet that really pushes your buttons.
Speaker: okay that will be the two elves turns now and now that they saw that Fosk has initiated they're both going to take a swing at you effectively surrounding you and they both rolled 18s 20 non -natural to hit
Speaker: And they both rolled a three for damage, doubled to, not doubled to, added to five. So 10 points of piercing damage. Yeah, that's a painful first one. Yep. They took their little broken candy canes and swiped those at you, stabbing you in any place they can get a hold.
Speaker: That'll bring us to Vlaesus and Imoraus. And Vlaesus is going to whip out a bow. And he is going to horribly miss. And Imoraus is going to charge at all of you at once. And hopefully only hit the ones that he's planning on.
Speaker: the dice was cocked i am now going to flip a coin to see what it is hold on it's between a three and a 19 so let's hope it's a 19
Speaker: It's a 19! Yeah! So the 19 gives him enough dexterity to successfully charge at both the elves and the gingerbread man all at once. So they each need to roll dexterity save just to see if they take less damage. That is... I need to stop rolling two dice at once because I keep getting the same number. That is two natural 20s for the elves. Oh my lord!
Speaker: and an 11 plus 1 for the gingerbread man that is not going to pass. So we're going to get 15 points of bludgeoning damage, halves for the elves to 7.
Speaker: And, uh, you see as the, uh, as Imaurus, the reindeer plows through this gingerbread man, he kind of has a little bit of a tough time, uh, knocking into these elves, but he does it and knocks them both backwards about 10 feet. Oh, good job, satellite. Did you say that boy? I raised him. I taught him that. Great job clearing them out. So this will be Tiller.
Speaker: I have two prone and injured elves on the ground. Gingerbread man is no more. So there's no so there was so there's no more gingerbread at all. No, no, he's dead. And are are there any places where they're within five feet of each other, but not five feet of an ally? Yes.
Speaker: Okay. So I would, you would see Tiller wave his arms around trying to mentally speak with his owl to tell it to, um, go over next to Roshka and stand on top, like fly above on top of the elves, but stand next to Roshka. And I would teleport and I would order it to use fiery teleportation, where it would teleport Roshka five feet back. But the.
Speaker: elves on the ground need to make a dexterity save uh no wait yeah dexterity save at disadvantage because they're prone dc is uh 13 okay that's a six oh and then a 15 damn
Speaker: So the six fails, the 15 will pass. Well, I'll just break dances away. All right. Then they would take, uh, Oh, okay. Um, actually, wait, uh, Oh wait, no, I misread the pro and it's disadvantage on attack rolls. My apologies.
Speaker: so they don't have disadvantage on the save. I don't know if that would make it so that they both passed. Well, the first one was an 18 and the first one was a natural 20 for both of those. So they both pass. Okay. So I'm looking at the feature real quick. My apologies. And do they take damage on a save?
Speaker: Okay, so they don't take damage and then I would use my action to go up and stand in front of Roshka and I will take the dodge action. Okay, that works for me. And then I will have my bird fly a little bit higher.
Speaker: I think that may all have been in vain because now it is Roshka's turn and he is hell -bent on murdering these buddies. So, uh, Roshka, go ahead! Get out of my way, tiller! I got these guys! I'm gonna try to throw a knife at them! Okay, you have advantage because they are prone. Okay!
Speaker: 15 and a 4, so that's 15 plus something. Yeah, that'll hit. Okay, that's a D4 plus 3. I'm good at math! 4 plus 3 is 7. Alright, and which one do you want to hit? A or D? The first one! We'll say A, okay. Elf A gets smacked. Where are you aiming this dagger at?
Speaker: And it's flat somewhere. I don't know body parts. So this dagger careens quite haphazardly towards Elf A, and lands, sinks itself in its stomach, dealing seven points of piercing damage. And you see this elf begin to kind of cough up a little bit of blood.
Speaker: That's what you get for sacrifices! You're better! And that'll bring us to Fosk. Alright, I'm going to approach down Delphae. Right. And I'm gonna filet him like a fish.
Speaker: All right. Go ahead and take a swing. Advantage is because he is prone. That would be a 24 to hit. Yeah, I'm not gonna. What is wrong with you, Fosk? And that would be 11 piercing damage. How would you like to kill Elfe? Basically, I feel like Fosk would go for it very gracefully, just
Speaker: step over and just like, stab him in the heart. Quick little poke. Boink. Yep, it does that. And he falls limp. The other elf looks at you with anger in its eyes. And it's going to use half of its movement to get up. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, okay. I do have, since we're level two, I do have a bonus action. I can use two dash. Okay.
Speaker: all of my movement to get the fuck away from that little guy. Roger that. Okay. And I will, yep, that's fine. Okay. Well, now he's going to use half of his movement to get up. And what you have is dash, is dash all of your movement, right? And so it's all your movement. Did you use all of it? Yeah.
Speaker: okay in which direction are you going like towards your party away from him away from him and away from your party where are you feeling well because you're not gonna be able to use it all if you go back because there's a wall there yeah so away from the party away from him right okay so now you're in the middle of
Speaker: How far away are you? That would be okay. It's like 10 feet from the wall. Yeah. So 50 feet from your party. Roughly. Yeah. So in between you and the party, you see a wall shoot up. And behind you, you see.
Speaker: You see a much larger version of Imora's, a reindeer with some very dark fur, blood dripping out of its mouth.
Speaker: and nice glowy purple eyes. Antlers look much more menacing and sharp, kind of serrated in some parts. And you also notice two gingerbread men and an elf.
Speaker: Yep, and that's that I'm gonna go ahead and we'll use your same initiative roll We'll handle those in a minute go to the elves and Also Party you see the the wall come up in between you and fast. I don't react to that That's about 50 feet How wide is the wall?
Speaker: uh the entire way you can walk so about another 50 feet about how much about 50 feet don't throw me you do but the you'd have to like go up into houses to get through the wall um and you're not going to be able to get into these houses okay no way i'm a good climber
Speaker: Think of it as kind of like a city street. How tall did you say it was again? 50 feet. All right. And it is about 50 feet to get to the wall from you. Well, Teller would just shrug his shoulders at this point. Okay, now, elf B is going to stand up half of his movement and use the other half to reach Roshka.
Speaker: Opportunity attack. I'm standing in front of him. Oh, that's right. So he'll go to you instead. Disadvantage on attack rolls. That'll be a 16 to hit you. On disadvantage? On disadvantage. Damn. All right. That hits.
Speaker: And that is two points of piercing damage as he takes his candy cane in his weakened state and tries to stab at you, but Mrs. just kind of gets through the jacket a little bit. That's it. So that is now Vlaisus Animorus' turn. So Vlaisus is once again going to fire his bow. Natural, 20!
Speaker: And we'll see how much damage that does. Whoo -wee! That is 12. Double to 24. Because that is another - God! I am on fire today. Oh my lord! You should put your zap maps!
Speaker: So that is 24 plus 3 points of piercing damage. So, of Lace's Fire is this arrow seemingly charged with quite a bit of confidence right through the skull of this elf and the elf falls dead, its own blood just kind of pooling into the snow. And you guys are out of combat now.
Speaker: However, uh, since Fosk is still in combat, we're going to continue to act an initiative order. Yeah. Guys, please help. So Tiller, it is your turn. Yep. Just, uh, reading something real quick. Um, Oh, actually really quick in Morris is going to move to the wall. Uh, and charge at it. Morris pick me up.
Speaker: I would yell over to Amoris to see if he could pick me up and drag me over there. Let me roll for it. Yes, he can. So he grabs you and he sets you down by the wall as he charges into it. Thank you for the self effect. That is another natural 20.
Speaker: And you see that this wall is made out of the tough gingerbread that they use to make gingerbread houses. And it smashes into it pretty hard, and you see it start to crumble. At least that little section. So it did something. Oh, my stars. Do we see through the wall at this point or no? No, it is just crumbling at this point. It's cracked and beginning to crumble. Snake attack the wall. So yeah, now it is your turn, Tiller. You are next to the wall.
Speaker: All right. Tiller would use his bonus action to, um, use Shalalie on his, uh, druidic focus, uh, quarter staff, and then we'll attack at the wall at the same place that the, uh, brandy or just attacked it. Okay. For a 24 to hit.
Speaker: Yeah, that'll do something. How much damage? For... nine magical bludgeoning damage. Yeah, okay. So as you smack with nature's power into this gingerbread wall, you see a nice little opening form. Not quite large enough for you to fit through quite yet, but there is definitely no more structural integrity to this little section.
Speaker: All right. Yeah, what else? Sorry, I'm just making sure of something. Just reading this real quick. In combat. Sorry, I'm just trying to make sure if I need to use a bonus action to command it to move. I believe I don't.
Speaker: Yeah, it's only it says that we need to use. The only action takes on its turn is a dodge action unless you tell it to take a bonus action. All right. So then I would command it to move as close to the wall as it can. Okay. And it would get 30 feet closer. It was how far was it away if it was at where the things were? About 40 feet. So it should be 10 feet from you now. Okay, good.
Speaker: I say to Fosk, get as close to the wall as you can. Okay, okay, okay. If you get near the hole, I can get you out. Oh, please. So that brings us to Roshka as well. Just to rewind a little bit, was there a hole in the wall at this point? There is now.
Speaker: How large is the hole? Might Roshka be able to fit through it? Roshka would probably be able to fit through it
Speaker: Sorry, I'm messing things up, but this is what I'm doing. I'm going to take a little bit of a step back and then just begin charging towards the wall. Thanks to these new spankling dangling shoes. I'm going to try to rush with this enhanced speed and just jump through the hole in the wall. All right. Uh, we're just going to go ahead and do.
Speaker: An acrobatics check to see if you can make it through the hole while jumping. Oh yeah, I'm terrible at that. You can't be that bad. That's a 14. 11 plus 3. I'm going to roll against that. I would say that that unfortunately works and you are through the wall. Oh, uh, don't worry. I'm here.
Speaker: How close are the enemies to us if I use all my feet and jump through the wall? Should be about 30, 40 feet. 40 feet, we'll say 40. Hey, check this out!
Speaker: I'm gonna stick my hand into my pouch and do another big spin. Okay. This time at the big, big furry guy. Okay. Firing at the reindeer. That's 11 plus something. Hold on. 11 plus five. So 16. 16 will hit. Okay. I'm rolling damage.
Speaker: That's eight plus two, 10 damage. 10 damage, okay. So moving on, that will now bring us to Fosk's turn. I won't, I won't, hello. You should go to the wall. I'm going to the wall. It's not that important.
Speaker: Yeah, you said, uh, Foskleby going to the wall and, you know, like, uh, Rashka, you probably shouldn't let them hurt you, buddy. Don't worry, I'll hold the line! Okay. Um... Let's see.
Speaker: So I'm going to have... I can't decide if it'd be better to make a reaction to attack anything that gets close to me, or if it would be better to take the Rajak's action. Stab him, stab him! Just remember, Tiller got you. Alright, I'm pressing you on this one, Tiller.
Speaker: And I'll have Fosk save his action for any creature, any foe that gets within 5 feet of him. He will make an attack. Sounds good. So now it'll be the reindeer's turn. And he's going to charge at Roshka. Which will be within 5 feet, so you can go ahead and roll to attack. I'll just hold onto that for now. Okay, he does miserably. Roshka.
Speaker: this dexterity save advantage please okay 11 and 11 plus three so 14 i'm good at math okay it it still hits
Speaker: but it is only four points of blushing damage. Roshka, are you okay? Don't worry about me. Is Roshka still in the wall or is he outside of the wall? He's on the other side. He's on the other side going feral.
Speaker: Oh, you haven't even seen me go feral yet. Yeah, so you get back, smacked up against the wall. But go ahead and let me know what that attack is, Fosk. That'd be a 20 to hit. That'll hit. Yeah, that's gonna be... Arashka is within five feet of it as well, right? Yes. Okay, then that'd be an 11 damage total. Awesome, okay. I taught him how to do that.
Speaker: So you notice as you pierce into the side of this reindeer, it is looking quite badly injured. And now it's the gingerbread man's turn. He's going to walk 35 feet of movement. And he is now 10 feet from you. Still can't do anything.
Speaker: That'll bring us to... Vlasis and Imaurus again. So you hear Vlasis... Oh! Don't worry! I can help from over here too! And you hear him kind of mumble some things to himself. And each one of you is going to take... seven points of healing.
Speaker: Oh, delicious. I love you. And you hear Amoris once more go, oh. And you hear click, click, click, click, click, click, click, and smash as he tries to smash into that one more time with a 19, making that a non -measure 20. And he smashes through the wall.
Speaker: I will say that since Roshka was still in close proximity, as well as the reindeer, they're each going to take that bludgeoning damage as well. But you got seven back, so you should be at least okay for now. Oh, it's not allowed anyways. Hey, Fosk! What's seven plus seven? Thank you! That will be six points of bludgeoning damage.
Speaker: uh okay and as um the reindeer you know imaurus smashes through the wall uh it's antlers and part of the gingerbread wall uh kind of gore into the side of this other reindeer uh its entrails and blood begin to pour out of the side as it crumples over and it is dead oh yeah good job the spirit of Santa does not forgive
Speaker: And now it will be the elves' turn. There are two of those. They're both going to be about these very strangely shaped candy cane weapons. And they're going to fire some stuff. One at Amoris and one at Yufossk. First one will be 13 to hit. For you. Okay. It does not.
Speaker: and the other is a natural one. So we're gonna go ahead and do a damage for that. That is going to be nine piercing damage. Straight into the back of this gingerbread man who has put himself in between you and the elf. And you see the dart that comes out of there fly through the gingerbread man's head and into the wall behind you.
Speaker: and you notice the same kind of crumbly, cracking, fissure -like thing happen to this gingerbread man as well. You get the feeling that maybe attacks like this do extra damage to these gingerbread men. Okay, and that brings us to Tiller now.
Speaker: Alright, so to have this clear, we have... Who's surrounded by more enemies? Fosk or... No one is surrounded by any enemies currently. Oh, so the one that was near Roshka died and... Yes. The gingerbread man is 10 feet away from the nearest person. And how close is that gingerbread man away from the elves? About 30 feet. And how far are the elves towards each other?
Speaker: about five feet, like right next to each other. And the elves are how far away from the wall? Uh, 50, 40, 45 ish feet. Sorry, I'm just okay. So considering that, um, and how close is the big guy towards, uh, the other elves?
Speaker: Um, still probably about 40, 35 -ish feet. All right. So what I would do is, um, at this point, since I'm next to the wall, I would go in front of Fosk and take the dodge action and command my owl to, so I'm just making sure to re -fire your teleportation.
Speaker: Um, and Roshka or Phos are with it, are next to each other, correct? Yes. All right. So then I would order, use my action to go where Phos was and take the dodge action. And then I would use my bonus action to command my owl to teleport them behind the wall. Okay. What if I'm unwilling? Then you stay there. Yeah.
Speaker: Roshka, go along with it. Elise, you're taking a lot of hits. Spit at them from afar. Please, but if you don't want to, that's your choice. Okay. I dreaded dinner. As you appear like 15 feet behind me, like diagonally next to a hole in the wall. Oh, hey, Roshka. Hi.
Speaker: All right, so that will bring us back to Roshka. Here you go buddy. No, no, no, I trust him. You know what? I'm gonna take a look around. I'm gonna make sure we don't get ambushed. Go ahead and make a perception check then.
Speaker: That's a two! It looks like there's those strange little white specks still falling from the ground, and it seems to be making the ground a little larger as well. You're actually getting kind of scared of what's happening. You're not sure why this stuff is falling from the sky, and why it is so soft and cold. Can you lift me up fast? The white stuff is attacking me.
Speaker: Go ahead and take one point of psychic damage. I took one point of psychic damage. I'm very confused. The goblin hurt itself in its confusion. Literally. Aww. That's it. That's all I do. Right, okay. So, Foskitt is your turn now. Well, I can't ignore a face like that. Right. Up on the shoulders, Rashka goes.
Speaker: All right, that'll take about half your movement. We'll call that a bonus action. Do whatever else you would like to. Sweet. Can I swap out my blade for about, or is that two item interactions? Yeah, let's do it. I don't care. Yeah. All righty. Well, I'm going to shoot at the gingerbread man from the hole.
Speaker: I play D &D how I want to play D &D. It's a bonus bonus action. Like these were unstoppable. Tiller. Who are you shooting at? The gingerbread man. Okay, perfect. That'd be an 18 to hit. That hits. Oh my gosh. Okay, sweet. That'd be seven. All right. Seven. What's your modifier?
Speaker: my dexterity modifier. Right. Plus five. So you rolled a two? Two damage. Okay, so two will be double to four. Add five, that's nine. Yeah! So nine points of damage. Where did you aim this bow? Wherever I could get the guy.
Speaker: We'll say in the middle of the gumdrop button right there. So you see as you aim your bow straight and true, you fire it into the middle of the gumdrop button in the middle of this guy's body, and you see the gumdrop button attached to your arrow, now implanted in the ground, and the crumpled corpse of what used to be a gingerbread man on the ground. Very slowly getting soggy from all the snow on the ground.
Speaker: Uh, and if that is all you can do, that'll bring us to, uh, Vlasis Anymoreus. Yeah, sounds good. So, uh, Vlasis, one more time is saying, Huh, you guys look like you could still use a bit of help. Um, I don't know if this is the best they can give us, but you know, I still appreciate it. Why the best? And that will be six points of healing to each of you. Thanks.
Speaker: And Emoros, once more, is going to charge at the elves as he is pretty good at doing apparently. I love Emoros. Okay, they will be doing that dexterity save at disadvantage because... Ooh! Four.
Speaker: And a two! Yay! Trampled. I'm taking all of the damage this time. Crumple him like a tin can. Oh, okay. So that was max damage for both of them. Yeehaw! Plus two, so that will be 18. Oh my god. Okay, so you see, as Imaurus charges forward, uh, smashes into both of these elves.
Speaker: And instead of knocking them back, they're both just impaled and hanging on his antlers currently as they are both limp and dead. Oh, good job, buddy. And you see him kind of kick his hooves a little and grunt once more. Just a bit more proud than the last. And now you are out of combat currently. Out of character of Diaphragmaurus?
Speaker: I don't know if I told you this, but I actually taught him that. Ah, well done. Good job, Rachaela. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're welcome. Thank you for your support and a nice shot with the bow. Gracias.
Speaker: Ah, you're welcome. That's good. We should probably move on though. I'll wait for you guys. So now you guys are near the square and you see where the tree had been knocked over by the fire that, you know, this bit fire of the feisty goblin that you know.
Speaker: I don't know who would do this You watch as the the house in front of you all as the road kind of splits into two the house in front of you all Seems to just disappear out of thin air And you see a long road past that leading to a very eccentric looking house
Speaker: filled with all kinds of colors and the door seems very oddly human shaped. The door is a humanoid figure, a nice round belly, and a hat that seems crumpled on the top. Santa pulled a fun fat owl.
Speaker: You see that door very slowly open. However, there is probably about 120 feet in between you and that door. I don't like that, actually. Out of the chimney, you do notice that there is some weird purple smoke coming out of it.
Speaker: The snow around you seems to be getting harder, kind of like ice. And the snow that's falling begins to quicken and also harden as you realize that you may be entering the outskirts of a blizzard. Hey DM.
Speaker: Yes. Out of all my goblin stories from back home, what do I know about this? Do I know anything about this evil Santa? So everybody who knows Santa knows of Santa's evil twin that tries to ruin Christmas from time to time. His name is Elg Nerk Serk. For those of you... I request a spelling.
Speaker: For those of you who don't know, that is just Kris Kringle backwards. Elgirk's nirk. No. Elgirk's nirk. He's quite evil. Exact same size build and look of Santa minus the purple clothing, the purple cheeks, the pointy nose, and the very evil looking eyes.
Speaker: You know that around him, he brings blizzards and evil and bad tidings to all that come near him. It seems as though that this first Christmas is the one that he was able to ruin. Nothing we can help it. So you can choose to relay this to your party or not.
Speaker: Of course, of course. So the evil sadder Zendazak, he brings evil blizzards wherever he goes. Oh no. Put the kettle on. You would see Tiller bring out his pipe and be like, we're in a bit of a sticky situation here.
Speaker: Ah, it's a cold situation. It's a cold, evil blizzard. She still don't know what a blizzard is, though. We need to be warm. I think. Obviously, it's from Dairy Queen. It's like cold. You eat it and it's cold. So you said that he brings blizzards and evil? Evil blizzards, yeah. Do you know what a blizzard is just in case? Sure, I do.
Speaker: Okay. Go ahead and roll. Go ahead and roll. I guess I'd roll insight. No, you don't have to roll insight. You know, he's lying. We knew he was lying. Just in case a, uh, blizzard is. You see the white powdered substance in the air. Yeah, it's evil. That's called snow.
Speaker: I had to attack me earlier. Snow is basically... snow is, uh... really cold water. You know how water turns to ice if you leave it out in the cold enough? No. I think you're wrong, actually. I didn't want to say it, but I think you're wrong here. Damn, Rashker hitting him with the sounds fake.
Speaker: Can I roll an intelligent saving throw? Hold on. I rolled a 2. He's very confident in this. Can I roll persuasion? Sure. 18. You know what? You do actually have a good point. And then I just go on to explain that like snow is just really wet water.
Speaker: Interesting. Sorry, really cold wet water. Perpetuating, uh, Roshka's fear of, of snow. But a blizzard is a lot of snow, like enough to, not that the snow would kill you, but being trapped in, you definitely wouldn't find anywhere to survive. So you do have to move fast and to stay warm.
Speaker: Yep, luckily we have these boots. Moving on snow has never been easier. And Roshka, all you know about snow is bad. You've never witnessed it in person, but all the goblin stories of snow are terrible. They always end in death or dismemberment. And everything I've witnessed so far is just the most evil thing ever. It's okay, buddy. So how is everybody, Fosk and Roshka, how are you guys feeling?
Speaker: I'm feeling great. I've never felt better, actually. I felt better before, but I'm not gonna say that. Alright, considering that I would look over to Valsius and Amoris, and say, considering that you guys know this area better than us,
Speaker: where would we be able to find where this man is or at least like disrupt his allies that are breaking this place? Well, right ahead of us is Santa's house slash workshop. So there's probably a good a good starting place. How do we survive the evil blizzard?
Speaker: Oh, you don't. You either beat him or you die. Well, let's go. That's enough convincing for me. I'm still on Foske's shoulders. I don't really have a say. So as you all move forward, you get probably about 70 feet -ish. And once again, one of those walls shoots up behind you.
Speaker: As I was gonna ask if as we move could I cast guidance on myself by like praying for Safe travels from my deity. Yes. All right So As the wall shoots up behind you you see a group of elves pop in and behind them Floats out of this door. I'm sorry
Speaker: uh, behind them, it's a group of elves in front, and behind them, uh, out of the door floats Elgnurk Cirque in a purple, tinted cloud of snow and ice, and you see the blizzard around you get much stronger.
Speaker: and ice begins to pelt you, and you begin to feel the very, very beginning effects of frostbite and hypothermia. It's getting very, very cold. What he said. How dare you destroy Christmas?
Speaker: Ho ho ho! You think I'm destroying Christmas? I'm not destroying anything. I am just here bringing good tidings and fun times for all the children. Who doesn't love snow? I don't love snow!
Speaker: Well, it sounds like you're about to have a bad time then, huh? But... All the stories, they say you're the evil. You're the evil one. Evil shmeevil. I just want to bring a good time. Can't you see? All these elves and people are loving it. They're dying from fun.
Speaker: I think they're just dying. Oh. Critics will always be critics. You can't see art if you don't know art. I don't even know Santa. That one has literally died from stage 3 hypothermia. As I point over to like an elf in the body in the snow.
Speaker: dying of laughter it's just the after effects obviously but hey let's go ahead and get this show on the road shall we let's show you how much fun I can be and go ahead and roll initiative you said 11 yeah 11 initiative
Speaker: I'm not moving that fast, it's really cold out here. Alright, that's a 23 for Tiller, 19 for Phos.
Speaker: All right. So just so you know, there are four elves and one elg nurk, sir. And are they all, are they all next to each other? Yeah. They're in like a like group. Uh, first it will be your turn. All right. So how far away are they from us? Uh, about, we'll say about 50 feet.
Speaker: OK, so I would command my owl to fly as close as they can. And then I would have it teleport. And it can teleport up to. So I'm just trying to make sure real quick. I do apologize, new ability. No, it's OK. Class features. I don't really know it either, so.
Speaker: Yeah, um, it can teleport so up to 15 feet away. So it's going to teleport and get at least the first two rows of them. Cause it sheds out a, and I need all within the first, uh, six squares, basically in front of it to make a dexterity saving throw. Uh, DC 13.
Speaker: Okay. Failures all around. So they will take six fire damage. Okay. And then I will move up as close as I can. So since I have 60 feet of movement, I will take the dodge action.
Speaker: So you're moving up close to them? Yeah, I'm getting, uh, as close as I can. So I have 60 feet of movement because of the shoes. You can get right up in front of them. So yeah, I will move right in front of them, uh, trying to protect my owl and I will take the dodge action. Okay. So you said the two in the front are the only ones that got that. Uh, anyone that's within like, uh,
Speaker: That's like would be 10 feet under my owl. So I would teleport it diagonally 15 feet up. So it would be moved 30. It would be moved 45. So anything that's like five feet below it, which would stretch out to below it and in front of it. So it would be two rows of people. That's an AOA. That would be all of them. Yeah, that would be all of them. So they all take six fire damage. Okay. Awesome. Cool.
Speaker: So you see as the flames kind of wash over them, you see their skin start to kind of sizzle and crisp up. You notice that this hurts them quite significantly. I don't think that's how you heal hypothermia. I'm not about healing at this time, I'm about protecting. That will be El Nirk's sixth turn.
Speaker: Um, I'm just gonna go ahead and do the group in the back. You guys are within the range. You see the blizzard around you begin to pick up significantly. You all need to make constitution saving throws. Roshka, Fosk, and Blaseus Anymoreus. Ooh, that's a good roll! That's a 19 plus! One! Dirty 20! That's a delicious, uh, four.
Speaker: Lacy's got a natural 20 and Imora's got a 19. So you're all okay. This is still going to hurt, regardless. Ooh, that's max damage. For those of you that passed, it is going to be 14 damage halved. That is 14 cold damage to you, Fos.
Speaker: I'm on one HP, this is wonderful. Awesome. It subsides. It disappears. And then he's going to fire an ice bolt at you, Tiller. It's a disadvantage. Okay. That is two natural 20s, so. Oh.
Speaker: No, tell her! I don't know why I'm rolling so good today. I think you need to start shiny hunting Pokémon. I think so. That's a Pokémon! That'll be... nine points of cold damage. And that is all he can do, so that will move us to fast.
Speaker: Alrighty! This isn't pleasant. So I'm gonna attack one of the two elves that is currently being a little spicy. And spicy as in roasted. They're already weak, so.
Speaker: might as well cold heard oh I forgot to mention you currently have the condition frostbite on you since you did not pass that save all of your attacks will be at disadvantage and your movement speed has been halved okay so you should have 30 feet of movement now throw me
Speaker: You want me to throw you, Rashka? Throw me! You know what? It's better you're over there than near me, so let's give it a go. I'm gonna try and throw Rashka. Okay, what is the goal here? Where are we throwing him? Into them! Okay, so are you going to move your movement and then throw him, or are you just going to throw him? Yeah. You know, that's a wonderful question.
Speaker: I'll move like 15 feet towards them, I guess. Okay. And then I'm gonna yuck Roshka as best as I can. Go ahead and just roll athletics for me. And Roshka, roll acrobatics, please. That'd be a 12 from Fos. Okay. Oh, that's a 17 plus. Three, so 30, 20.
Speaker: Awesome. Okay. So, you very haphazardly throw Roshka. He's going to make it about 10 feet. But he lands perfectly. He does like a little flip and twirl in the air and then lands. This is perfect. It's all going to go to the plan. So now that is your turn, Roshka, if you don't have anything else to do, Fosk? Yep, that's everything from Fosk.
Speaker: Okay, that's Roshke then. I'm going to use the fury of all that is Christmas. I'm going to run into the middle of them. All of them. Okay. And I'm going to place my hat into my pouch and doing a little bit of a different thing this time. I'm going to take out a black little pearl.
Speaker: And I'm going to throw it into my mouth and chew a little bit. And then as I chew, my eyes are going to start glowing red. And my mouth is going to open wide, super fucking wide. And out of my mouth, a bunch of tentacles are going to come out and start slapping everyone. Okay.
Speaker: So everyone within 10 feet of me is gonna have to make a DC 14 strength saving throw. Oh, okay. Uh, that is fails on both ends. Okay, maybe I'm not rolling as good. Okay. So with this... That's uh... Three plus three plus two.
Speaker: So, seven necrotic damage.
Speaker: Okay, so as your mouth opens quite wide and your tentacles, your eldritch tentacles split out from origin of your person, you see it pierce each and every one of them through different orifices and they all just kind of shoot out about 10 feet from each other and crumple to the ground as you have killed all of them.
Speaker: I'm going to turn to M .S .E .K. and say, this is what Christmas shows you! This is the joy that is meant to me from Christmas! He does make a little bit of a face at you as you do that. And now it's on to Vlesas and Imaurus's turn. So Vlesas is going to once again use his handy dandy trusty bow
Speaker: It hits, but barely. It is a 15. And he's going to fire that bow straight and drew. How much damage is he going to do? Only two, but that's okay. He didn't want to hit him anyway.
Speaker: So he fires his bow into Elgnark's Cirque and it smacks him in the shoulder and doesn't do a whole lot.
Speaker: However, Imora's got a natural 20 on his charge, and he is going to attempt to gore the mess out of Elgnark's Cirque. And, uh, Elgnark's Cirque, make your dexterity saving throw that you're not very good at. That is a 5! Yes! And, ooh, that's gonna do a lot of damage. Ooh, that's gonna do a lot of damage.
Speaker: Roll, roll, roll. That's a 10, that's a 9, 19. Add the modifier. That's 20, 24. And then add the gore damage to that.
Speaker: That is max damage 6. So you see Imora's charge with some fury in his eyes, much like Roshka did, and closes the distance of about 60 -ish feet, and smacks into Elgnurk's Cirque.
Speaker: Antler's kind of going straight through his body. Really injuring him and it flings him back into the building. He is now prone and on the ground. Tiller, it is your turn. Tiller would do his best and try to stand over him with Shillel.
Speaker: and smack at him from above go ahead and roll that at advantage it would be a 11 to hit with advantage yep yeah it's not gonna hit all right a bonus action he would have the
Speaker: creature, his Wildfire Spirit, he would command to fly and teleport down on him. And it needs to make a DC 13 Dex saving throw. As a fail. It will take 1d6 plus, it will take 6 damage. Fire damage.
Speaker: Okay. You see that that also kind of crispifies his skin. Has a wonderful time with that, apparently. And it will move 10 feet high. Sorry, 15 feet high from him. Okay. Foskin is your turn. Oh, maybe. Well, I know it'll be a disadvantage, but... Gonna get a shot at Elgert's nerf.
Speaker: Regardless. I'm gonna be a silly, silly little fool. That'd be a 12 to hit. Actually, it'll balance out. You can use your highest roll because it is advantage since he is prone. Oh, yee -haw. Okay, 22 to hit. Okay, 22 to hit. Sweet. That's one of my nerds. Next one.
Speaker: uh i think so no i don't know where is yes yes yes okay sweet sneak damage that'd be 13 damage total oh okay all right right okay uh and if that's all you can do that is roshka's turn he is also uh very very bloody he is in a very crumpled state he's also stunned which is why he didn't take his turn
Speaker: Good for Christmas, Rasha. I... I choose not violence. Oh? I'm going to kneel down in the cold and I'm gonna say a prayer. A real proper prayer to the real Christmas, to the real Santa. Okay.
Speaker: What's the prayer? Come on. Yeah. Start praying, little man. Pray, Pray, Rasha. My Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done. On earth that is, as is in Christmas. Give us a daily Christmas, and forgive us a Christmas. Amen.
Speaker: All right. What is the goal here, Roscoe? I want to invite Santa back. They said that Santa had been driven off and I want to make sure he knows that people still love him. The people still want him to come back. Even if we kill this evil Santa, the real Santa is gone.
Speaker: oh right okay that's that's deep that's deep rashka i i appreciate that i read that in a book once actually you read it in a book i can't read i don't know why i said that you were told that uh in in a story once yeah yeah yeah my man also told me yeah
Speaker: your christmas nana told you yeah yeah yeah christmas nana the one who only comes around during christmas that makes you wonder doesn't it makes you think okay um roll roll the religion check i'm rolling something at advantage santa at advantage oh my god that's a natural wedding
Speaker: The first one was a four. The second one was an actual 20. Okay. So you see Elgnerk Serk in his very stunned and bewildered state. He looks at you and a tear kind of rolls down his cheek. He says,
Speaker: Oh, no one has shown their support of Santa in quite some time. It seems to be a dying tradition. Give me just one moment. And you see as the blizzard around you dies down and returns to just a very light snowfall.
Speaker: And the smoke in the chimney of Santa's house turns into a regular gray color. And you see Santa's robes turn to the nice jolly red that they should be. The buildings around you kind of reform themselves, affix themselves, repair themselves. The wall behind you falls down.
Speaker: And you see as the elves that had previously died begin to rise up in their restored state, and you see them look very much like Vlesus in their nice fur coats and chipper faces. And you see Santa not quite recovered yet. He is still bleeding. He looks at you.
Speaker: says you, little one, you're carrying on this tradition of Santa here. Let me give you this as my last action, as Santa. And so he hands you a pendant, a little necklace,
Speaker: the charm on it, you know, is a Christmas tree and under it has presents. This is a golden charm and the ornaments on the tree are all different colored gems. It's very small and very light and you see him cough a little and his eyes close and he lies limp
Speaker: No, Santa. What? I don't think that was the meaning of Christmas. Maybe it was. I know you can't hear me, but I just wanted to say sorry that I slapped you. I didn't mean to. Aww.
Speaker: And Roshka, you begin to feel a warmth grow around you. Despite the surrounding cold, it seems to reach deep into your soul. And as long as you have this pendant on, you will now have a plus one to AC and advantage on any charisma based checks like persuasion.
Speaker: Yo. Santa, I don't know if I can make it without you. You also notice you begin to grow just a little bit of a mustache and beard and a very white color in contrast with your age. In rashka's age grew three times that night.
Speaker: Can I hug you guys? Yeah. I go over to Roshka, get on my knee. I'll always be with you. I'm really sad. Hey, we're here for you buddy. That's a little kind of meal in the snow in Roshka.
Speaker: And you see, as you guys do that, around you, the elves and gingerbread men and reindeer kind of also gather in the center of this little clearing in front of Santa's house. And you notice as they all kind of hold hands and join together. And suddenly all of your vision goes dark.
Speaker: And you're back in your tents. Oh my gosh. You guys are not going to believe the dream I had. Oh no! Are you okay, Ashka? Oh, what's in your hat? Oh.
Speaker: I can't keep you with me! I don't want him to die! I don't want him to die! Uh, Roshka. You hear, in your mind, a very faint, Oh, oh, oh, go outside the tent, Roshka. Roshka? Is that you? Oh no, it's not in the tent.
Speaker: Where are you going, buddy? Uh, if I was cool, follow along. I'm following the voices! Tiller would grab his eyebrows and follow along. Oh, why is that the most sane thing Gracia said in a minute? And so as you exit the tent, you notice on a small pile of snow that seems to have a tiny little snow cloud over it, a very small, wrapped gift. And there's a tag on it.
Speaker: And it reads to Roshka, the real Santa. Mine! I'm tearing to the present. So as you open this gift, you notice it's a very small box. It seems quite warm for some reason.
Speaker: And as you open this box, you find yet another smaller box inside that looks similar to like a ring box or a necklace case. Knowing what I remember from the dream, I open it very carefully. Hey, what you got there, buddy? And you notice it is the pendant from your dream.
Speaker: I'll put my hand on his back patting him. Feeling like it's right, I will cast Goodberry.
Speaker: We're in the shape of Christmas cookies. Good. Thank you, Diller. Thank you, Fosk. And Roshka, you hear once more in your head. Roshka, I'm not gone, and I'll see you next Christmas. Okay. Happy new Christmas. Happy new Christmas. Happy new Christmas. Roshka's definitely on the nice list.
Speaker: And then I make a snowball and smash both of them in the face. The betrayal. And with that, we will end it here. Oh my gosh. Say goodbye, everybody. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thank you for listening.
Speaker: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Salambia Saga podcast. I'm your DM, Anthony, and would like to remind you that we are novice podcasters with very novice editing skills, and are doing this for both your and our enjoyment. This means that the end product could be just a little rough. I would like to once again thank you for all of your time, and we'll see you next time. Bye -bye.
