Transcript
Speaker: Hello dear listeners, it's Farrah.
Speaker: Before the show starts, I wanted to share that I have been experiencing some cognitive challenges due to long COVID, which may affect my working memory and executive functions.
Speaker: This might result in me accidentally talking over my guest, switching topics abruptly, or
Speaker: or struggling to form coherent sentences.
Speaker: This happens a few times throughout this episode.
Speaker: Please understand that this is not a sign of disrespect toward my interviewee.
Speaker: It's just a part of the difficulties I'm currently facing.
Speaker: Thank you for your understanding and patience, and enjoy the awesome fucking show I have for you today.
Speaker: What is up, everyone?
Speaker: Welcome back.
Speaker: to sex jokes and whatever.
Speaker: And oh my gosh, do I have a little proof of my screen.
Speaker: I'm listening to the fucking adorable and beautiful Charlie Woman.
Speaker: Awesome woman.
Speaker: What is it?
Speaker: Fat ass Angel.
Speaker: 1690.
Speaker: Hello, how are you?
Speaker: Hello, I'm good.
Speaker: How are you?
Speaker: I'm good.
Speaker: I was like, can you hear?
Speaker: I'm good.
Speaker: This is like,
Speaker: basically just me like living out my little like porn girl things like talking to people that are so fucking cool you're so fun thank you for having me I am delighted to be a part of your porn girl fantasy thank you all right let's read a little email okay hey there and John
Speaker: Well, I have been single for a long time.
Speaker: I do watch porn and masturbate pretty regularly.
Speaker: I don't think I have an issue with it.
Speaker: I've been really career focused and not dating in a while.
Speaker: I have a concern because I come from
Speaker: very quickly when I masturbate.
Speaker: I want to get out into the dating world, but honestly, this holds me back.
Speaker: I will be so embarrassed if this happens with a girl.
Speaker: Do you know anything I can do about this?
Speaker: Thanks so much.
Speaker: Oh, cute.
Speaker: They sound lovely and it's so nice that they're being considerate of like a future person that they don't know yet.
Speaker: You know, like also I have never slept with anybody who didn't come really fast and I totally get that it's hard, but it seems very normal.
Speaker: I don't know how other women and people might feel about that though.
Speaker: What do you, like what's your experience Vera?
Speaker: Yeah, I,
Speaker: Honestly, I think I have thought many more times, oh my gosh, I wish this guy would come.
Speaker: That I've ever thought.
Speaker: And like, holy fuck, that was quick.
Speaker: I mean, I honestly sitting here and I can't, I can't recall a single, single time.
Speaker: And yeah, I mean, I haven't, I think the average, what is the average length of each like sexual encounter?
Speaker: think it's like six minutes yeah it's got to be like less than 15 less than 10 like it's really we build it up so much more in our heads than like what reality is i think yeah we do what would i start i'm trying to google what the average how do you google that average what average net like i don't know all right just kidding don't do that what would i say average amount length of time being on sex i guess
Speaker: Yeah, I think I read one time that like the average length for like a woman's orgasm is like 13 minutes or something, which is pretty spot on for me personally.
Speaker: And I think like what I read, can't remember, don't quote me, it was like half of that for a man.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: What did you say your average was?
Speaker: I didn't listen.
Speaker: That's okay.
Speaker: Like 13 minutes.
Speaker: It said here.
Speaker: just the first thing that comes up is the average is 5.4 minutes.
Speaker: So, but it does seem like that's an 80 fold different, you know, there's no normal.
Speaker: There is no normal.
Speaker: And also what I think about is most of the time when I am masturbating, well, even majority of the time I'm doing it to get off.
Speaker: and get the fuck out of there like I'm not doing it too you know I used to be like like 120 seconds I'm in and out you know but in the last like two years I'm much more of like 30 60 minutes of getting really close and not finishing because it just feels really fucking good I don't know
Speaker: But yeah, I've like allowed myself, I think, to like explore porn more deliberately, which maybe this person could do some of that.
Speaker: Like they said they masturbate fairly often, but do they ever like, like, okay, I'm setting aside an hour to make myself feel good, which isn't going to necessarily be like active stroking the whole time.
Speaker: You know, like you could, you could maybe try and take his time and see if that might help prolong the, the coming situation and also practicing.
Speaker: not coming when you really want to because oh man I used to not be able to stop myself like at all like I'm getting there like it's a I'm running you know like yeah same and I used to be so against do women still call it edging do we still call it edging but now with my job I mean fuck I'm playing with my pussy
Speaker: All the time.
Speaker: So.
Speaker: I be edging.
Speaker: I've got to like.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So now I do enjoy it.
Speaker: And I try not to rush.
Speaker: But yeah.
Speaker: If there's a. If you did meet somebody.
Speaker: That is going to say something to you about that.
Speaker: Instead of work on it with you.
Speaker: She's not for you anyway.
Speaker: That's what I think.
Speaker: Like, I wouldn't want to be with somebody who was going to be rude about that.
Speaker: Obviously, if you do that every single time for many, many months on end, which I've experienced, like my partners literally for years, like, boom, like they're right away, like coming and then, but that's, that would be fine.
Speaker: If then afterwards you're spending time on just me.
Speaker: I wouldn't care at all.
Speaker: Like come right away.
Speaker: Like, honestly, it's going to give me a little bit of an ego boost.
Speaker: I'm like, yeah, I just couldn't help it.
Speaker: Like, I love that.
Speaker: It's kind of sexy, but.
Speaker: That's true too.
Speaker: Don't be done after you come, you know, keep working on me.
Speaker: My man will like eat the pussy first and like, Oh, get good at eating pussy.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: And then I really, really will.
Speaker: be so fucking excited like charlie said i will take it as a compliment if you just fucking not immediately yes even if the guy's like no stop like i'm gonna come i'm like no challenge except you're gonna come right away yes you are it's fun it doesn't have to be like a super negative thing and yeah if i if if that
Speaker: submitter is that a word is that person who submitted that email if they were dating somebody who just immediately was mad and shaming them I feel like that is not a person you want to be dating anyways and if you communicate like you know I just came really quick I'm sorry but I still want to like get you off I don't care how long it takes like we're I'm here I'm ready like that's hot that's enough that's funny enough yes I have don't ever be one of those people that
Speaker: I've been with men like that as soon as they know and it will not be one of the take your time it'll be one of the yes hit it and quit it and then they would just like roll over and act like we weren't even fucking having sex like are you fucking serious yeah that's like the majority of my entire sexual experiences them coming right away and then
Speaker: being done because they like feel embarrassed about it and I'm like no like we don't have to be done I'm still here like I'm ready I don't need P and B like to get off like let's go I don't know wow when you said that I don't know if you could like see something like click in my head I was just thinking like they are assholes I have to be fair I have dated a lot of assholes and I
Speaker: But yeah, it really probably was some buried shame.
Speaker: And it just comes across as, shame comes across as a lot of different types of emotions.
Speaker: But yeah, I just like clicked.
Speaker: Oh, now I kind of feel sorry for this.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Good luck to you little friend out there that is a quick nutter.
Speaker: It's okay.
Speaker: Yeah, I think my biggest advice is like, just try your best to repeatedly let go of that pressure because it's going to come back over and over again.
Speaker: Just like letting go of the pressure, knowing that you can still perform and please somebody, even after you've met it and you're no longer, you know, ready to put it in her.
Speaker: Like, you can do it.
Speaker: You've got this.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: I will also just add in there, I have dated someone before that was single
Speaker: For a long time.
Speaker: Before we dated.
Speaker: It was probably the true.
Speaker: Same for me.
Speaker: Too.
Speaker: But unfortunately people just.
Speaker: Don't think about women's orgasms as much.
Speaker: But he.
Speaker: Oh and he was so embarrassed.
Speaker: He actually.
Speaker: I guess it was like just performance.
Speaker: Anxiety and.
Speaker: Just maybe being used to his hand.
Speaker: A little.
Speaker: You know and like.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I could have... We could have let that situation be really fucking embarrassing and shameful, but... What did he do?
Speaker: Did he come right away?
Speaker: Or he couldn't come?
Speaker: No, he couldn't come.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Would be an issue.
Speaker: I've experienced that plenty.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: With partners and myself, too.
Speaker: Like, I will get in my head and start getting insecure, and I'm like, oh, God.
Speaker: Like, this angle's bad.
Speaker: Like, my double chin's... Like, I'm sweating on this person.
Speaker: Like, I'm so embarrassed.
Speaker: Like, and then I can't come.
Speaker: And, like, it's just...
Speaker: Sex is complicated and it's okay.
Speaker: It is.
Speaker: What do you think or how do you think that porn has changed your sex life, either for the better or worse?
Speaker: Interesting question.
Speaker: Honestly, I think it
Speaker: Like when I started watching porn, I think I hadn't explored enough of it.
Speaker: I was just going to like the front page of whatever website and watching, you know, I'm talking like 60 to 120 seconds of that clip, you know, and then exiting out of it.
Speaker: Like I...
Speaker: I definitely thought that women needed to be really loud and like super over the top dramatic performance artists.
Speaker: And like now that I've been doing sex work and I see such a wide range of porn and I'm more like in, you know, just in this ocean of like crazy, kinky, weird and obscure shit.
Speaker: I think now it's just like really helped me expand.
Speaker: I also don't feel like anymore like I need to perform that way.
Speaker: And actually, now when I see that in porn, it like turns me off.
Speaker: I'm like, girl, like be for real right now.
Speaker: Like you're not screaming over that.
Speaker: Like, I think, yeah, it's helped me like accept myself more.
Speaker: And it's a lot easier to get turned on by things that are maybe less overtly like mainstream sexual, if that makes sense.
Speaker: You know?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Do you have any personal kinks or maybe favorites that you work with?
Speaker: On mini-mits?
Speaker: Let me...
Speaker: shift away the ones I don't want to talk about from my mind.
Speaker: Reading.
Speaker: Reading is so hot.
Speaker: I don't care if this is lame or vanilla, but like the idea of like being with somebody who I love who loves me, I want them to put a baby in me.
Speaker: I want them to do it a bunch of times.
Speaker: Like that's just so intimate and kind of scary.
Speaker: And I feel like that is like a really sexy combination for me and my like horny brain.
Speaker: yeah other kinks let's see um homewrecking is pretty hot I would never engage in that in real life because I'm a nice girl but it is really fun and actually something my therapist has like encouraged me to explore through content she's like you know we
Speaker: Like people who are trying to behave with integrity all the time, like it gets exhausting to always be like choosing the higher road and like never being drama, like never being bad.
Speaker: And she's like, you should like live that out in your content.
Speaker: Like we need outlets for like that little evil in us.
Speaker: And it's really hot to play that character.
Speaker: I love doing that.
Speaker: Just makes some sense for me.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I really enjoy it.
Speaker: I was wondering why I enjoy the evil mommy or just the mommy that fucking loses it.
Speaker: Not even necessarily evil, just insane.
Speaker: Like psycho.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Same.
Speaker: Same.
Speaker: I love psycho.
Speaker: Me too.
Speaker: I do it really well.
Speaker: Yeah, me too.
Speaker: I like watch it back.
Speaker: I'm like, oh my God, like stop.
Speaker: You're scaring me.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I was like, I was hot.
Speaker: yesterday and a lot I was by myself like me and you were talking about just I should have been fucking working but I was looking in the mirror I was looking in the mirror and I was like oh my god like what is this in me that I would just think of like okay now do like super sweet mommy
Speaker: And I could like turn it on and act and it just comes out.
Speaker: And then I'd be like, okay, now do super crazy mommy.
Speaker: And I could just like switch it up.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: Like you did ask my therapist, because sometimes it makes me the way I can play with my own emotions and take them to very extreme places.
Speaker: It, while it feels, I love it.
Speaker: That's my favorite fucking part of my job.
Speaker: but I also think I'm exhausting like my nervous system or something sometimes yeah that makes sense yeah it makes sense I think I imagine um my my my brain myself whatever you want to call it as like a vehicle with a bunch of different passengers I'm all the passengers but they're all different versions of me so like the majority of the time like you know
Speaker: sensible Charlie's driving and I'm like, there might be some like chitter chatter in the back, like people telling me how to drive and I'm like, stop, like I'm driving the car right now.
Speaker: It's okay.
Speaker: But it's fun to do this job because I can let these crazy passengers in my vehicle take control of the car and, you know, drive real crazy, yelling out the window, honking the horn.
Speaker: Like that's, it's definitely like cathartic, I think.
Speaker: but also emotionally exhausting because if you're riding in a car with somebody acting like that, you're going to be like, ah, you know, like this is a lot, like it's, it's scary.
Speaker: It's draining.
Speaker: You just want to get where you're going, you know?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's kind of a weird analogy, but that's how I imagine my self.
Speaker: So really a cool way of looking at it.
Speaker: Do you do IFS with your therapist?
Speaker: Is that what y'all do?
Speaker: That sounds like IFS.
Speaker: I think it stands for
Speaker: internal family systems i don't know i don't i don't do it either i would be interested i'm sorry i would don't turn my fucking podcast into psychology if i could but um yeah i kind of low-key do but um i've never done it but i've heard that it's good for trauma recovery
Speaker: Because it teaches you what you were talking about, that you have all these different parts in you.
Speaker: And then, of course, like everything does, it ties back to how that ties in with each member of your family.
Speaker: I see.
Speaker: You accept all those different parts inside of you.
Speaker: So, yeah, it sounds like y'all might be working on them.
Speaker: Yeah, she's very like fluid.
Speaker: Like I know she brings up my therapist, she brings in all different types of approaches, depending on what we're working on.
Speaker: But I'm not aware of that.
Speaker: Like, we very well could be doing that.
Speaker: But yeah, I think that concept first came up because
Speaker: You know, you have that like negative inner critic all the time.
Speaker: They'll be like saying mean things to you in your head.
Speaker: And the car analogy just really helped me like regain control.
Speaker: Cause I'm like, you're just a backseat driver.
Speaker: And like, I am in control, you know?
Speaker: And you can just keep telling that person that over and over again.
Speaker: And over time, like it, it gets quieter, you know, it really does.
Speaker: But it takes like deliberate practice for me at least to.
Speaker: Cause that voice used to be really loud.
Speaker: Like they used to be driving the car, you know?
Speaker: And I'm like,
Speaker: No, I'm taking the wheel.
Speaker: It's me time.
Speaker: But yeah.
Speaker: How do you feel like sex work has helped you or the opposite of helped on your inner work journey, healing journey, whatever you refer to it.
Speaker: I usually say healing journey.
Speaker: I feel like I've been on mine for like 20 years.
Speaker: It's a never ending process.
Speaker: You never, you never arrive at I'm healed.
Speaker: I'm better.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Which is another thing that's helped me, you know, just take the pressure off myself because I'm always thinking like, I need to be here and I need to be here and whatever.
Speaker: But how has sex work helped me?
Speaker: I feel like it is the sole reason why I was able to work on myself at all.
Speaker: Before sex work, I worked many jobs.
Speaker: Okay, I was working 65 hours a week for years.
Speaker: I would go months without a day off.
Speaker: I would literally be so excited to have one day off in a month.
Speaker: Like, oh yeah, like I'm going to go crazy on that day.
Speaker: You know, like doing sex work.
Speaker: I, at first, you know, it took a long time to be making like decent income.
Speaker: Obviously I had to work really hard, but once I got there and I had the flexibility to like one, go to therapy during nine to five hours, that was a huge, huge thing.
Speaker: Just being able to make it there physically and not,
Speaker: have to go to work and having the money to, to invest in therapy.
Speaker: My God, it's changed my entire life.
Speaker: It's helped me like reconfigure difficult relationships with friends and family.
Speaker: It's helped me completely rebuild my relationship with myself.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I,
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's a very mutually beneficial thing.
Speaker: Sex work and therapy for me, it's been, they're very intertwined and it's been life-changing and beautiful and really hard.
Speaker: Yeah, it is really hard.
Speaker: Well, I'm proud of you for doing that work because I know how hard it is.
Speaker: And yeah, I fucking feel you.
Speaker: I, I made that joke a minute ago that
Speaker: I have been in therapy for seriously 20 years, not constantly every week on and off, but it was never working.
Speaker: It never, it wasn't fucking hitting.
Speaker: I wasn't getting it.
Speaker: I've been there.
Speaker: I was sleeping on my fucking life and slaving away at a career that I thought I loved my career.
Speaker: I was working my ass off for not great money in the school systems, but I'd worked my way up, you know, and I just thought I was fucking happy and no.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But I fucking feel you that it is really ways that I just, I can't even put into words.
Speaker: And, but yeah, I think some of it, like you said, it's just not having to fucking be somewhere.
Speaker: every day from like nine to five and I thought I really thought that getting away from a schedule because I'm so fucking bad with a schedule I truly I just do whatever the fuck I want thank God okay good you do maybe that's why we do this shit but I've not wanted some sex work have I been late on you know except when I've communicated with somebody or
Speaker: You know, I get shit done, but I do it on my own damn time.
Speaker: And if I want to take a day off because I'm not fucking feeling good, I do.
Speaker: And I never had that.
Speaker: And sometimes I think a big thing that I still am working on right now is not being so damn hard on myself when I'm doing nothing.
Speaker: And doing nothing is...
Speaker: actually needed yes so long of my life in autopilot just constantly thinking i had to be fucking doing something or i was pretty worthless yeah yeah i relate to that for sure is your freedom is sorry the freedom is fucking the freedom soni yeah i do love it i hope to even go farther
Speaker: You're going to.
Speaker: You're going to go as far as you want.
Speaker: You're going to far.
Speaker: Is your therapist sex worker friendly?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I've tried many therapists.
Speaker: And sometimes they work for a period of time and then you need to move on for whatever reason.
Speaker: Just depending on your
Speaker: needs, but the one I have now I've been going to for about two years almost very consistently, like every other week and she is phenomenal.
Speaker: But I mean, the way I approach my job is like, if I'm meeting somebody that I intend to have like a close relationship with, or like, that's what I would like, I immediately tell them about my job.
Speaker: Cause I want to be accepted.
Speaker: I want, that's what I want.
Speaker: So like, I'm going to give people that opportunity to accept me or not accept me.
Speaker: So I
Speaker: First session, I went in there, I was like, so my job, this is what I do.
Speaker: And I just need to make sure that you're okay with that.
Speaker: You're comfortable with me talking about it, because I want to talk about it.
Speaker: It's going to be explicit, it's going to be vulgar.
Speaker: And also, I want you to know that like, it doesn't define me, you know, like, I don't want you sitting in here, bringing things back to my job repeatedly, because that's not what we're going to talk about for a long time.
Speaker: And she was like, oh my God, like, I'm so proud of you.
Speaker: Like you just walked in here and you just owned that.
Speaker: Like, good for you.
Speaker: And I was like, yeah, she's the one.
Speaker: I've had another therapist who, she said she was okay with it.
Speaker: And then I would say things and she'd be like, like obviously disgusted.
Speaker: And I'm like, girl, what do you think piling on shame is going to do?
Speaker: Nothing good.
Speaker: I, yeah, I've always told my,
Speaker: therapist right away.
Speaker: I have a therapist now.
Speaker: We're actually, I'm just doing EMDR.
Speaker: So I don't really have to talk to her.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Which is nice.
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I don't really know or care what she thinks.
Speaker: Cause the EMDR just works.
Speaker: It's a little magic.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I happen to talk.
Speaker: So do your friends and family know what you do?
Speaker: All of my friends know.
Speaker: some of my family knows.
Speaker: You know, there's just some like older people in my family who I don't think would, I think they would just be like fearful for my safety because they don't know how the internet works.
Speaker: And I don't need to be like stressing them out about that.
Speaker: But I'm, yeah, I'm pretty open about it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I'm really lucky.
Speaker: Like, yeah, I, my friends are super awesome and accepting.
Speaker: Sometimes when I'm making a friend, they say that they're okay with it and it becomes apparent later on that they're not.
Speaker: It makes them feel some type of way or they think that I'm like a relentlessly horny sexual deviant who's going to like steal their man or something like that.
Speaker: And I'm like, girl, now I'm trying to like eat lasagna.
Speaker: I'm not worried about your man, but I don't know.
Speaker: Yeah, so pretty much everybody in my life knows.
Speaker: I just, I try to be reasonably safe.
Speaker: Like, I'm not going to tell strangers who might know where I live or like, you know, I don't know.
Speaker: I don't advertise it to the world.
Speaker: Just to be safe.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I signed up for Bumble for friends.
Speaker: Me too.
Speaker: Did you?
Speaker: How's it going?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: How's it going?
Speaker: Good or?
Speaker: I actually have met a sex worker who lives nearby me, who's a dominatrix.
Speaker: And that was like, so happy.
Speaker: We're both really kind of busy though.
Speaker: And we have like opposite schedules, but that was so cool.
Speaker: She had it like on her page.
Speaker: So I was like, Oh my God, you know, cause I don't put it on my page.
Speaker: Cause I don't know who's around who might see it.
Speaker: But I've met another friend who like, you know, we hung out for a couple of years, like maybe it kind of fizzled out.
Speaker: I don't think she really,
Speaker: liked me that much and that's okay you know you can't be everybody's cup of tea but I met people through her that I'm friends with pretty regularly so it's been good I intend to keep trying on Bumble BFF that's good I like it's been for you man I don't know I'm meeting my first person tomorrow I did not tell her what I did though
Speaker: I know it's really hard to judge like when's the right time because each person you get a different feeling.
Speaker: You're like, I don't know.
Speaker: Like, and you know, something, something you told me that I thought was like, cause I get in my head about my job and about how people are going to feel about it.
Speaker: Like majorly.
Speaker: And I know it holds me back from like making connection.
Speaker: And somebody told me like something that's really common for men to do is to have like,
Speaker: friendships based on like utility like oh there's this guy I go to the gym with like and I have a buddy who I go fishing with and I have a buddy who you know functional friendships like that and uh when that was explained to me I was like you know I don't have to put so much pressure on these friendship like I could just have a friend that I go get coffee with they don't have to know everything yeah that's my there's something inside of me that feels like if I am not
Speaker: 100% honest with like every fucking person that I meet that that makes me a liar yes like you're a fraud a fraud and I'm like no girl like so I do now think of it a little more as for my safety because yeah if I just can't yeah I'm living living where you know this region like
Speaker: It is genuinely, I think, a concern of safety sometimes.
Speaker: Like, you need to be careful.
Speaker: There's some crazies out here.
Speaker: Also, have you noticed on there that if their profile isn't verified, that sometimes I think they're men.
Speaker: I think they're men with fake accounts.
Speaker: Ew.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Get out of here.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: I just don't even.
Speaker: I haven't seen some creepy profiles.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm like, you're on the wrong side of Bumble, okay?
Speaker: This is Bumble BFF.
Speaker: Yes!
Speaker: That's so cute that it's like BFF, too.
Speaker: I love that.
Speaker: Me, too.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And so, sadly, if they haven't verified their profile, I usually just say no.
Speaker: It just creeps me out.
Speaker: And recognized another sex worker, but...
Speaker: And you know how you can like send them a message?
Speaker: I have like, now I like fucking feel sick about it.
Speaker: I tried to, I don't think their account was verified.
Speaker: I don't fucking remember.
Speaker: But I was just like, hey, like, I think we might know each other from work and then like try to match with this person.
Speaker: And then I've never fucking heard from them
Speaker: And, which is fine.
Speaker: Which is, if it really is her, I'm not saying that my feelings are hurt, but I didn't know at the time that men were on there pretending to be women.
Speaker: And of course, like, that is, of course, she's a fucking dominatrix, too.
Speaker: Like, that is such a subby fantasy type thing to do.
Speaker: I was like, damn it.
Speaker: I'm potentially, like,
Speaker: outed myself but I guess there's very limited information that yeah the catfish yeah I mean luckily you're probably okay but it is like a feeling I know it just did give me I wish I would have realized it was like my second day signed up for it I've only been on it for like a week or two I would have done exactly what you did I would have been like oh my god I know I was so fucking excited yeah and yeah
Speaker: So we'll see.
Speaker: But yeah, I have my first little friend date tomorrow.
Speaker: I'm excited for you.
Speaker: Good luck with that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I hope it goes wonderful.
Speaker: Me too.
Speaker: Me too, man.
Speaker: I need some just people.
Speaker: Me too.
Speaker: So bad.
Speaker: I feel like I know like three people in this city and it is very lonely and very hard.
Speaker: But I just am going to keep
Speaker: trying you know yeah I in my little city yeah I know so few people and I feel like I I'm not for sure but I think I did lose one of my good friends around here because I did tell her or things just been super different we've not you know one of those people that was like oh sex work and
Speaker: Yeah, she like started going to church again more, which is again, I'm no hate.
Speaker: But it was just like odd.
Speaker: I always felt like she was trying to pray my sins away.
Speaker: You know, like I felt like the reason that she was pushed back to church and I was like, oh God.
Speaker: I so often try to tie back
Speaker: I try to tie people's behavior back to my job.
Speaker: It's just one of those things.
Speaker: It's hard to, it's the worst part about our job, I think, is how it might impact our connections with people in the real world.
Speaker: But it is just a reality, you know, and we, it's only up to us if we can weigh, is it worth it?
Speaker: You know, for now, for me, it is, it's worth it.
Speaker: And people are entitled to feel however they,
Speaker: feel and everybody has different capacities and I wish that everybody had the capacity to accept me for me but they don't you know and I'm just gonna keep hunting mining for these gems out here like you all right I forgot what we were talking about friends yeah that's all right that's all right look on your friend date tomorrow though I hope it goes well and if you feel like telling me about it please do
Speaker: Do you have any exciting things coming up?
Speaker: Or what?
Speaker: What you've been working on?
Speaker: Right now, so I opened up customs before I went on my trip in March.
Speaker: So I'm just working through my customs right now.
Speaker: And I don't, like I think I've opened them twice in the last 12 months.
Speaker: So, you know, it was a little crazy.
Speaker: But I'm really grateful the majority of my
Speaker: customs like people I've worked with before that I really enjoy working with a lot of them are like do whatever you want or like I have a very vague like one sentence
Speaker: theme or whatever and then just do whatever you want so I'm excited yeah there's definitely some mommy things on the way as is her use but um some different stuff too like I one of them is a this is not like a big project or anything these are just you know the basics of our job but uh one of them is like I'm dominant and bitchy turns submissive and slutty and desperate and
Speaker: And I don't know if you've noticed, but the majority of my work, I play a dominant role.
Speaker: So that will be very interesting to see one, how I do, how I feel doing it and how it's received.
Speaker: Cause I don't, I don't drop submissive role plays very often.
Speaker: So yeah.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: That must have been some kind of indication of how
Speaker: Well, you are working your therapy, girl.
Speaker: Because let me tell you, this little dumb bitch right here has not, I have not said yes to a single fucking submissive role yet either.
Speaker: Okay, let me tell you, my therapist told me, she was like, I think...
Speaker: You've always been in these roles of like huge responsibility.
Speaker: I got my first manager job when I was 18.
Speaker: You know, like I've always been the person in charge, having to deal with crazy people, upset people, like having to, you know, fix things, being responsible for everything.
Speaker: I was like sitting in my college classes, taking calls like from like women twice my age at the front desk, like asking me how to do things, you know, like that was always my role.
Speaker: And in my relationships, it was always my role too.
Speaker: Like I was the person supporting us, the person making all the decisions, the one handling everything.
Speaker: And I don't want that, right?
Speaker: I would like more of a equal friendship.
Speaker: But anyways.
Speaker: My therapist was like, you really should explore your submissive side.
Speaker: Like, I think it's going to be like a key part of your like journey to fulfillment.
Speaker: And I might have been doing that a little bit.
Speaker: Probably.
Speaker: Not like in person, but online.
Speaker: And yeah, I've always done them like a switch, but I do feel very excited by
Speaker: being submissive, but I think for me, it takes the right person.
Speaker: Cause it's a lot of vulnerability.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And yeah.
Speaker: So when this person put in this order, I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker: I'm like, this is perfect.
Speaker: You know, like I'm, I don't know what it's going to be like doing it with my camera necessarily.
Speaker: If I'm going to be corny, awkward, maybe it's not going to feel real.
Speaker: I don't know, but I'm ready to try it.
Speaker: I'm so excited for you.
Speaker: That's awesome.
Speaker: I will say that
Speaker: Yes, I am now in my first relationship of my whole life with my husband that, yeah, I finally am able to relax a little bit.
Speaker: I'm not.
Speaker: This man, fuck, he takes care of me.
Speaker: And I had to work a long time not to feel
Speaker: guilty about yes yeah like if he comes home it used to be such a fucking trigger that he would come home and you know i'm home all day but and if i'd be sitting down i would like rush to like get up and do something and i was like girl i'm
Speaker: what you doing isn't it crazy like how our brains get so trained to like anticipate like people behaving badly to us like or that we've done something wrong when we've just been working all day like being a good little you know sex worker yeah it's it's really crazy what a trip it is i love like i feel like really only the past three to five years i really started noticing any of this shit
Speaker: and it's it's amazing it's hard sometimes I honestly fucking I will it's so hard I honestly have days sometimes where I wish I was still ignorant and like oh yeah that's how I'm like just oh yeah to like go-go mode where totally you're like where I didn't feel like I needed to do work on myself yeah like
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: Yeah, no, I get you.
Speaker: I'd be like, I have therapy today.
Speaker: Like, I know it's going to be really helpful and good, but I don't want to like, it just, it's work.
Speaker: It's hard also.
Speaker: Like it's gotten easier as the years have gone on, but like, God damn, it is, it is hard work.
Speaker: And I think it needs to be.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think everybody, everybody should be going to therapy.
Speaker: Oh yeah.
Speaker: Especially after COVID.
Speaker: I don't think people,
Speaker: realized that that was a worldwide traumatic event and totally we are all traumatized by that shit and i think so it makes me really sad that people will go through life their whole lives not knowing i don't know i'm not gonna get too deep into that i know right i could just talk about this shit for hours i know we'll have to just talk in our little dm's later what
Speaker: All sites are you on.
Speaker: And do you make separate content for any of your sites?
Speaker: Yeah, kind of.
Speaker: You know, it's not really like worth saying that I like me.
Speaker: Okay, I put some femdom stuff on I want clips that I don't post on many vids.
Speaker: But it's not like super serious or anything.
Speaker: But I actually just got on clips for sale.
Speaker: in the last two months, which has been really surprisingly awesome, but difficult to use that site I've found.
Speaker: Yeah, so I'm on many vids, OnlyFans, I Want Clips, Clips for Sale.
Speaker: I just made a loyal fans, but I haven't really like dove into that yet.
Speaker: And then Sex Panther, I started at the end of January and that was fucking awesome.
Speaker: So much fun.
Speaker: Yeah, Sex Panther.
Speaker: That is.
Speaker: It was a fun one.
Speaker: I got through my stages on it.
Speaker: It just gets to be too much.
Speaker: Do you have... I told Tatum yesterday about my experience on there because we were talking about how often we think family members actually fuck in the real world, but that's another conversation.
Speaker: But I was telling her... You've got to listen when hers comes out.
Speaker: She's got some funny stories about...
Speaker: And I know she'll listen to yours too, but Sex Panther, my gosh, those people, they would talk to me for like weeks or months.
Speaker: And I don't, I could not decipher if it was fantasy or reality, but some of them would really talk about, I've been taking my mom's panties.
Speaker: I think my mom is flirting with me.
Speaker: What do I do?
Speaker: It never got to the point where like they were fucking a family member.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Hey, I get paid for the fantasy.
Speaker: I'm not there.
Speaker: I would love to.
Speaker: I'd love to have conversations with like, side note, like, can I psychoanalyze you?
Speaker: That doesn't come up.
Speaker: But do you get stuff like that on there?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, it was really a mixed bag.
Speaker: But I think.
Speaker: One, my application was denied at first because they were like, you do taboo content and we don't allow that here.
Speaker: And we don't want customers coming here thinking that every model does that because it's against TOS.
Speaker: But it's very common on there for sure.
Speaker: But actually most of the things I was getting were people who, submissives, people who wanted me to like feminize them, which I love.
Speaker: I'm like, oh my God, yes, I will use my magic wand.
Speaker: I'm returning to my girlfriend.
Speaker: And tell them all about the cute little outfits that they're going to wear.
Speaker: And like how I'm going to do their hair.
Speaker: You know, I love that shit.
Speaker: And cuckolding.
Speaker: That's like the biggest thing that I get on there for sure.
Speaker: Which I love.
Speaker: That is fun.
Speaker: That's not hard for me to role play at all.
Speaker: I love that too.
Speaker: But I have gotten a couple things like what you said.
Speaker: And I just automatically always assume it's fantasy.
Speaker: And I just like, oh my God, what type of panties were they like?
Speaker: where did you get them from her laundry hamper?
Speaker: Like, what do they smell like?
Speaker: You know, I just, I try to ask them a bunch of questions and they just go, go, go, you know?
Speaker: And I'm like, yes.
Speaker: Yeah, me too.
Speaker: I mean, you, I mean, that's the point of it, but I have a friend that Sex Panther was one of the first things I got on.
Speaker: So I've been on it for a couple of years and I,
Speaker: I had another friend that had to do the same thing.
Speaker: She had a, like, I don't remember why they, but they denied her at first and then accepted.
Speaker: I swear it was probably because of how out of hand that site got for a little bit.
Speaker: Like, there was a little period of time when I first started on it.
Speaker: Like, people were saying off the, I can't remember now, but, like, I'm not shocked.
Speaker: by much, but I was shocked.
Speaker: I wanted to tell you one of our regulars, I won't even name the site because I'm not trying to give out any information, but he had talked about how he is really into break dancing and he wanted to be
Speaker: the best in the state that he lives in and I was just jumping around I was like so like how's your break dancing going he was like barely I'm doing it like I'm one of the best you know and he was like if I'm not I forgot what it it wasn't like cocky it was just so confident and he was like I'd love to show you what I'm working on I was like
Speaker: boy, what?
Speaker: I was like, you don't want to send me a dick?
Speaker: You want to send me break dancing?
Speaker: Yes, please.
Speaker: Yes, I love that.
Speaker: Good for him.
Speaker: You love me.
Speaker: It is so good, too.
Speaker: Damn.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: I love some of these little fuckers.
Speaker: Oh, me too.
Speaker: Me too.
Speaker: I noticed that you do really well
Speaker: with your OnlyFans.
Speaker: I always look up everybody's shit like before and you do not hide your fan count which is ballsy but way to go.
Speaker: Is it?
Speaker: I don't see anybody.
Speaker: I've never seen anybody honestly except for you.
Speaker: I didn't know that.
Speaker: Oh no.
Speaker: That's like a faux pas.
Speaker: I didn't know.
Speaker: I thought you were supposed to.
Speaker: You can't.
Speaker: I mean whatever.
Speaker: mine fluctuates so much I just don't how do you do how do you do so well what do you offer on your page too oh my okay um I don't do it the way that I am supposed to or that everybody else does it I don't mean that in like a pretentious way I just mean like one I'm ignorant like I I so I definitely subscribe to other models but
Speaker: I think when I first started my OnlyFans, I just didn't think anybody would give a shit.
Speaker: I didn't think anybody would pay for my stuff.
Speaker: And that took a long time, really, for me to get out of that mindset.
Speaker: So I felt like I had to really make it worth it, put so much effort in.
Speaker: There's quite a lot of full-length movie videos on there.
Speaker: I like to...
Speaker: send audio messages to the people that are chatting with me.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I sometimes I feel like I have like a little, just a little bit of like a cult following.
Speaker: Like these, these just these certain, you know, it's just a certain amount of people and they just really like me and they're so nice and they just stick around like no matter what.
Speaker: And it's,
Speaker: I feel really, really grateful and lucky.
Speaker: And honestly, like 95% of the conversations on OnlyFans are like not sexual at all.
Speaker: Like they're just talking to me.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: My people are too.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The last one, the guy was telling me about his sailing boat and like, I love hearing about that.
Speaker: I don't know if she's sailing, but.
Speaker: I love being able to water and I fucking love it.
Speaker: So yeah, I get that.
Speaker: That's awesome.
Speaker: Good for you.
Speaker: Thanks.
Speaker: I know I could make like a lot more money if I did things the way I should, but I just, I don't know.
Speaker: I just am so, I like protest.
Speaker: Like I don't want to send mass messages.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Sometimes if it's not too taboo, I will offer it at a discounted
Speaker: price from what it is in my other stores but I'm not I don't fucking care enough like not even I don't yeah like I don't want to bother people just watch out there to
Speaker: watch my shit do you put post stuff daily now that is no they're gonna be on me neither i can't girl no no it's not crazy yeah no i've asked so many people look okay we all approach things differently and so i don't want anybody to think that i'm saying like there's a right and wrong way there's not at all um god that's what i love about this too there are
Speaker: a million different ways you can do shit and be successful.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And you're, you are allowed to determine what success is for you.
Speaker: Like, yes, could I make so much more money by mass messaging them daily?
Speaker: Probably, but I don't want to.
Speaker: I'd rather not.
Speaker: And I'd rather make a little less money.
Speaker: Like, I, I don't know, but yeah, I do not post daily.
Speaker: I feel like there are some people that want me to post daily probably, but I think the majority of them, like it's,
Speaker: you know, they're like waiting for me.
Speaker: They're longing for me.
Speaker: You know, you want to get a little bit of that.
Speaker: Like we're in a little bit of a Charlie desert.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And so then when I post her like, Oh my God, like I missed it.
Speaker: You know, like they're excited and they're, and I, you know, I'm not posting daily.
Speaker: So I don't post like anything half-assed, not saying that anybody else does.
Speaker: I just, I'm picky.
Speaker: I, I only want shit where I feel like I look really good or I feel really good.
Speaker: Or I,
Speaker: I don't know, you know, I, and that's how I approach like making videos too.
Speaker: Like, I do not force myself.
Speaker: Like if I am about to cry, cause I'm on camera, we're calling it a day.
Speaker: Like I'm waiting until I feel sexy.
Speaker: You cry on camera too?
Speaker: Girl, of course.
Speaker: Sometimes as soon as you hit record, you're like, I think about everything bad that's ever happened to me in my life.
Speaker: Like I've used it.
Speaker: I've used it in one of my, uh,
Speaker: really crazy mom video I think it's called the trap where I lock my son in the basement and I was like having a bad day and like you can see it in the preview too that is really me crying and then just like hammering it up for the camera I love that I'm gonna fucking turn the camera on
Speaker: Yeah, no, it's, it's really good.
Speaker: If you can like channel that emotion into the work, I feel like it's so rewarding.
Speaker: You're just like, God, I'm good, you know, and like, kind of, you know, making it work.
Speaker: But yeah, I don't know.
Speaker: Yeah, so I guess to answer your question, like specifically on OnlyFans, I don't send mass messages.
Speaker: I only post good shit.
Speaker: I treat everybody with respect.
Speaker: I talk to them the way I would want to be talked to.
Speaker: And I just, I try to make it like, I just approach it from a perspective.
Speaker: If I'm logging in and I'm a buyer, am I going to be stoked to be here?
Speaker: You know, like that's, yeah, that's basically the only thing I do.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's good.
Speaker: No, that's,
Speaker: Good for you.
Speaker: Awesome.
Speaker: I was also, I looked up your best selling clips on many good, but now I forgot them.
Speaker: So tell them because my memory is bad.
Speaker: What are your best sellers?
Speaker: I'm sure they're mommy or sister.
Speaker: I think the top seller is your daughter is a psycho bitch.
Speaker: That was my first ever fully like improvised video.
Speaker: And oh my God, that like changed everything for me.
Speaker: I was like, what the fuck have I been doing?
Speaker: I need to improvise every video.
Speaker: Like, ah, yeah.
Speaker: God.
Speaker: And it was also really hot, like filming it that way.
Speaker: Oh man.
Speaker: I was like, this is my, this is my, like, this is what I need to be doing.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And it paid off so much.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: It paid off so well.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think that's my top one.
Speaker: And then I, I think the next one was like a really old shitty video.
Speaker: Like a bratty sister gets a cream pie video.
Speaker: It was like number two.
Speaker: That is nothing special.
Speaker: Black hair in it.
Speaker: no i had i have i have red hair in that one sorry but i had like just don't be sorry don't be sorry you don't have to know all this and then i can't quite remember what's next i think maybe perfect storm which is uh i love that one thank you that was from a gone wild audio that uh somebody had posted that i mean they did a phenomenal job but uh a lot of
Speaker: That's also a good idea because a lot of people struggle.
Speaker: Vacation is actually the second one.
Speaker: Oh yeah, that was another.
Speaker: That's another one too.
Speaker: Oh, I love that video.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I was also laughing my fucking ass off because I made like a body to lay in the bed and they're like made of pillows and I just like put a wig on her.
Speaker: And every time I could like see her in the room and I'm just laughing my ass off.
Speaker: Like this is so creepy.
Speaker: To make some of my memes
Speaker: in it yeah it's huge this teddy this legit fucking teddy bear that's bigger than me i love it i forgot what he's even called but it's actually sold so that you can oh i've seen it yes i've seen them yeah well i thought that was like you know just revolutionary i was like this is gonna be great it actually even told you on the website
Speaker: you can dress him up in men's large clothing.
Speaker: That's like perfect.
Speaker: I have a man here who's a large.
Speaker: And this motherfucking thing is so big and goofy.
Speaker: It sits around in every room in my house and will scare the shit out of people because most of the time it's dressed in jeans.
Speaker: Actually, it has a t-shirt on right now that has like the butthole symbol and it says like made you look or something like ridiculous that
Speaker: Oh my god, I just learned something.
Speaker: This is the butthole symbol?
Speaker: I think so.
Speaker: Thank you for telling me because I didn't know.
Speaker: You'll have to like look along.
Speaker: It used to be like some joke where it's like... Yeah, no, I remember that.
Speaker: But I didn't know that it was that.
Speaker: God, I'm so ignorant sometimes.
Speaker: It's like crazy.
Speaker: And it's just funny, but my little bear.
Speaker: Now he's so fucking awkward to dress.
Speaker: Sorry, y'all.
Speaker: He has
Speaker: I am so, you know how particular I am about details in my thing.
Speaker: And that motherfucking bear has been wearing the same damn clothes for a year.
Speaker: Like, all he does is get loved from room to room.
Speaker: Yeah, so.
Speaker: Very innovative.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's not for fun, though.
Speaker: That's okay.
Speaker: I would get rid of him.
Speaker: Or, like, chop him in half.
Speaker: Like, he legit has arms that I'm like, oh, they're longer than mine.
Speaker: And I'm always having to like hide in the shot.
Speaker: I don't know the type of shit we do to make.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: It's so ridiculous.
Speaker: Beautiful smut.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: I'd just be laughing my ass off.
Speaker: I'm like, oh my God, this is so outrageous.
Speaker: Like you weird bitch.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I need to start releasing like my bloopers.
Speaker: I used to do bloopers and sell them for like cheap or put them on my OnlyFans.
Speaker: I just hadn't done it in a couple months because I will seriously just fucking bust out laughing at myself.
Speaker: Me too.
Speaker: It's fucking hilarious though.
Speaker: Or my cat's like buss in the door and they're like, what are you doing?
Speaker: And I'm like, get out of here.
Speaker: There's dildos everywhere.
Speaker: I'm so embarrassed.
Speaker: I don't want you to see your mother like this.
Speaker: My poor little dogs, yeah.
Speaker: So I always think, what do these animals think I'm doing?
Speaker: And my kitten, my kitten Ralph, I swear he, he, I get the vibe that he is like an alien that's like in a cat disguise.
Speaker: And he's come down to like monitor what humans do.
Speaker: Cause he just sits and he watches me and he has these eyes.
Speaker: They're just way too like sentient.
Speaker: I'm like, get out of here.
Speaker: And he just wants to watch me do everything.
Speaker: And so I'm like doing the porn thing.
Speaker: And he's like,
Speaker: I'm like, Ralph, stop.
Speaker: Look at me with those eyes.
Speaker: Those annoying eyes.
Speaker: That's so fair.
Speaker: That's so funny.
Speaker: I wish I could have cats.
Speaker: My husband's allergic to them.
Speaker: I miss how fucking weird and because of allergies that run in my family.
Speaker: I have the ugliest slash cutest hairless dogs on my own.
Speaker: Cute.
Speaker: Yeah, but they're like fucking idiots.
Speaker: I kind of...
Speaker: miss you know cats are just a lot smarter than small dogs um especially but yeah those little idiots i they can't even be in the same room because they would they would not fucking leave me alone they would i would be doing like a scene and they would be happy as fuck like sitting on my head if they were anywhere near me like this is perfect yeah
Speaker: Yeah, sometimes if the cats are asleep, I can get away with closing the door.
Speaker: But a lot of times, like, if I close the door, they are going insane.
Speaker: Like, open this door right now.
Speaker: Like, who do you think you are closing this door?
Speaker: We're not okay.
Speaker: And they're just like, sit like outside of the door and like, That's one thing.
Speaker: Like, the dogs are just so dumb.
Speaker: They're just like, you know, I don't miss the like that attitude.
Speaker: My cats are very sweet.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I always hear about this whole thing that cats do and I've seen that I guess but my cats are just like I love you.
Speaker: What are you doing now?
Speaker: What are you doing later?
Speaker: Can we hang out?
Speaker: I miss you.
Speaker: Well, you know what they say.
Speaker: I've never personally had an asshole cat.
Speaker: I've only known people that have asshole cats and guess what?
Speaker: Most of those people were also assholes.
Speaker: I think cats really pick up
Speaker: people's personalities and they really pick up yeah and they need like all the same kind of stuff a dog needs like they need you to get their energy out like you need to play with them like they need you to be social with them you need to spend time figuring out what toys they like like what scratchers they like like it's you know you're not just gonna like any old thing you give them like you gotta work
Speaker: worked on it i think people just think like oh cats they didn't like this one thing so like they don't like anything i get them like yeah i don't know it's weird little pretentious cat lady over here i love it i can't i don't i hope you don't mind if i say this something but i really can't fucking wait until we get to hang out okay i can't wait it'll be lovely
Speaker: I was going to say a night on the town, but like an afternoon on the town.
Speaker: An afternoon on the town sounds much better to me.
Speaker: We're going to go fucking wild.
Speaker: Let's be home by nine.
Speaker: Or like 7.30.
Speaker: That'll be fun.
Speaker: I want to ask you a couple more questions before you have to go.
Speaker: Please do.
Speaker: What inspires you?
Speaker: Talk about your creative
Speaker: I'm always really interested in that.
Speaker: Gosh, I, so many things inspire me, honestly.
Speaker: A lot of like TV shows and movies, I get ideas from TV all the time.
Speaker: Like trash TV, like 90 Day Fiance, gold of mom ideas.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: Like there are dynamics on there.
Speaker: I'm like, this would fucking sell.
Speaker: Like this needs to be a porno stat.
Speaker: Oh yeah.
Speaker: I have something in my notes from actually like months and months ago.
Speaker: I think I told you how I always try to,
Speaker: come up with the title first because it's always my hardest.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I just try to get the title and then work out the details.
Speaker: But I think I called it like 90 day, 90 days.
Speaker: And it was like based off.
Speaker: I'll have to do that one.
Speaker: God.
Speaker: Yes, girl.
Speaker: It's like trusty.
Speaker: So good.
Speaker: I don't watch it at all.
Speaker: What do you mean?
Speaker: I'm just kidding.
Speaker: I'm fucking 90 day fiance.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Other things, I think genuinely, I get the majority of my creative inspiration from like buyers and talking to them.
Speaker: Like one time a model told me like, you cannot get your ideas from buyers.
Speaker: Like they don't have good ideas.
Speaker: Like they don't know anything.
Speaker: Like you need it.
Speaker: And I was like, speak for yourself.
Speaker: Like my people are fascinating, creative little perverts.
Speaker: And I, I love that, but I've always been a pervert myself.
Speaker: So like, I,
Speaker: I just get hit with ideas like constantly.
Speaker: I have hundreds on a on like a notes list.
Speaker: Like me too.
Speaker: It's insane.
Speaker: And I'm like, God, I'm gonna like get I'm gonna be like 60 by the time I get this done because I'm slow as fuck.
Speaker: But I'm working on that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Always working on that.
Speaker: Were you always this creative?
Speaker: I don't feel like I was.
Speaker: It's so weird.
Speaker: I specifically always, like since I was so, so little, I always loved playing pretend.
Speaker: Like that was my favorite way to play in general was to just make up a scenario.
Speaker: And I think it's because I watched a lot of movies and TV as a kid.
Speaker: I had like infant insomnia.
Speaker: I had insomnia all through my childhood.
Speaker: I watched VHS all fucking night, every night.
Speaker: And then I was terrible and falling asleep at school.
Speaker: That was like my whole...
Speaker: I don't even, I guess I shouldn't say that word, but like my whole life then.
Speaker: I just always loved playing pretend like, and just fantasizing about different things.
Speaker: I, I loved romance.
Speaker: Like I always was like imagining myself in a dramatic movie scene.
Speaker: And it's really funny looking back on my memories because I was an insane little person.
Speaker: Like I just was, I, and so this comes so naturally for me, like,
Speaker: And it feels good.
Speaker: It's fun.
Speaker: Like I, I love playing pretend.
Speaker: I just love it.
Speaker: Me too.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I feel like, yes, that once you're an adult, you're supposed to just turn that pretend off.
Speaker: And I think that's what I did.
Speaker: And I was the type, actually, I'm still the type that I'll have whole ass conversations to myself in my head.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And like, I'll get like, yeah,
Speaker: Or, because I was going to say, sometimes my husband will, like, catch me, because I'm, like, making facial expressions, like, thinking about some fucking scenario in my head.
Speaker: He's like, what the fuck are you thinking about?
Speaker: I was like, look, you don't want to know.
Speaker: Like, I'm, like, chapter four.
Speaker: There's a word in here.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You don't know the lore.
Speaker: But I will really, like, I'll give myself away, because I'll be making, like, head movements when he's in the room.
Speaker: So cute.
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: Very cute.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So I think it lets...
Speaker: lot of our child out I don't know yeah it's fucking fun totally it's it's really fun yeah I agree so yeah well beautiful is there anything else you want to tell all these lovely people today um where to find you on twitter anything yeah uh
Speaker: pretty much everywhere.
Speaker: My name is FatAssAngel69.
Speaker: Stupidest name, but it works.
Speaker: It's on everything except I think Twitter is just FatAssAngel.
Speaker: Thank you, though.
Speaker: You are a lovely host and person, and you're just so genuinely kind and funny.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: I feel the same about you.
Speaker: I'm so glad you were able to come today.
Speaker: I will put all of mine and Charlie's information in the bio, right?
Speaker: It's
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So thank y'all so fucking much for being here.
Speaker: That's all, fuckers.
Speaker: Y'all have a great day and we'll see you next time.
