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Elle Eros and The VERY Embarrassing Bedroom Noise
36 Plays3 months ago
Welcome to another episode of Sex, Drugs, and WHATVER!! Guest co-host Elle Eros joins host Vera James! We give stellar advice to a guy who made a very embarrassing, very unique noise in the bedroom and now can't seem to get past it. And then talk about behind the scenes of our day to day lives as adult content creators.
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Transcript
00:00:15
Speaker
What is up? Welcome back to another episode of Sex, Drugs, and Whatever. I'm Vera James, and today my very special guest is the beautiful, gentle Dom L. Eros. Hello, baby. Welcome. We're so happy to have you here. How are you today? I'm doing well. I'm really excited to be here. This is my first podcast appearance, and I'm very excited. Taking her podcast virgin virginity. yeah um So happy that you're here. I've looked into your stuff and really excited to tell all the people out there what you do. um I'm also really excited. I've got a pretty good little write-in o that I got today that I'm gonna read for us.
00:01:05
Speaker
I am a regular listener of your podcast and truly appreciate the candid and supportive atmosphere you create for discussing all kinds of topics. I wanted to reach out for some advice on an embarrassing situation that has been on repeat in my mind lately. During a recent romp in the sheets with my partner, I made an awkward noise that completely took both of us by surprise, right as I was coming. I swear to God it sounded like a dolphin.
00:01:43
Speaker
It just slipped out and ever since then, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. While my partner laughed it off and tried to reassure me that it wasn't a big deal, I can't seem to shake the embarrassment. Every time we get close again, I find myself tense and worried that something similar might happen, which is definitely affecting my confidence and our intimacy. How do I move past this awkward moment and regain my confidence in the bedroom? Have any of your listeners experienced something similar? And how do they cope with it? I would love to hear any tips or advice on how to stop overthinking this and enjoy sex without fear of another dolphin boy mishap.
00:02:33
Speaker
Thank you for providing a platform where we can openly discuss such weird and embarrassing shit without judgment. I swear that's like the nicely That's the like best grammar and shit that I've ever seen. That's when I kept like giggling. But also, I feel like i ever since I read this, it was less than a week ago, boy, I have had this shit on my mind on repeat. like
00:03:05
Speaker
I want to know what that dolphin sound sounded like. But Miss Elle, what do you think? I think that sex is inherently messy and primal and there needs to be space for noises and fluids and when those things happen, it's actually and ah an opportunity to get closer with your partner. our partners whoever's in the room with you and that this response is actually like the constantly replying it and your mind is like an OCD response in your brain and your brain is trying to distract you from the pleasure of the moment. So you're trying to let go and your brain is trying to distract you.
00:03:51
Speaker
And it's something similar that happens when people try to meditate, right? Like you try to meditate and you get an intrusive thought. And these also can happen in the bedroom, but they come in a different form. And like the easier it is for us to just accept like noises happen. I mean, I remember the like noises have happened to me. I have queefed so loudly. I wanted to, you know, i the the bedroom shook.
00:04:19
Speaker
um But you know thats that's part of sex. And the more we can accept that noises and fluids and things that we don't see in porn are going to happen in our real lives, the more pleasure we can experience. And it's not that it doesn't happen in porn, it's just that we have the magic of editing. h Yes. And yes, that was beautifully said, Al. I don't think, well, I do think a lot of people now realize that porn now, yeah, we get to edit it. we I used to put my
00:05:00
Speaker
Bloopers and things online. I just haven't it's not because I'm embarrassed. I've just not had time But yeah, like funny shit like that happens. Yeah the queefs that when when I put bloopers of that people love that shit, but um yeah, and you part of sex is being vulnerable and that's really, really hard. i um But it sounds like you have a really fucking good partner. And you're just gonna have to keep talking about it. And I don't know. I think Ayl answered it really fucking perfectly. That, yeah.
00:05:49
Speaker
I don't know, for our listeners, listeners, you can maybe I'll act under this video on YouTube. You can tell them if you've ever made noises like that dolphin noise. It's still really on your track.
00:06:10
Speaker
I am too, buddy. I kind of want you to try it again and like record that shit.
00:06:18
Speaker
Let's see if I answered everything for him. How do I move past this yet and regain my confidence vulnerability? I think is the answer. and have any of the listeners. I don't know if they have, but they can tell us. Or maybe if this listener has some very close friends where they're open about their sex lives, share that story with your friends. I'm sure that there is at least one person who has experienced something similar. Yeah. And I feel like it's probably even easier or harder for you as a, I'm assuming male, um, to be vulnerable or friends than it is partners. So maybe you do need to tell somebody and yeah.
00:07:11
Speaker
I think I could make anyone feel better with some of my embarrassing sex stories. So, I don't know buddy, but really, I think, um, you're probably doing awesome and maybe you just need a little time. For some reason that seems like it was traumatic to you and that's okay. If you're embarrassed, feel whatever you got to fucking feel about it. and then work through it it's gonna be all right it's gonna be all right and i swear to god i swear there's probably somebody out there that love there's multiple people out there that would love to hear your dolphin sounds promise it's probably a fucking
00:07:56
Speaker
Very deep. More than you think of. Yeah, way more than you think of. I hope we answered that one for you, bud. And good luck. We got this. All right. One last suggestion, actually. If you have a Reddit account, an um anonymous Reddit account, or you want to make an anonymous Reddit account, you can post on one of the bedroom subreddit. And you can share the story and then you can have the internet supporting you. um And I'm sure lots of people will be able to share stories or you can just search the Reddit accounts to see if other people have made noises like that.
00:08:33
Speaker
Yes, you really probably could yes, I love I love all those confessions Things like that. But yeah, the not safe for work ones. Yeah, dude, go in there find your dolphin people i'm just kidding that I think it's really fucking cute and I'm not laughing I am Loving it. Loving it. All right, Miss L. So tell us a little bit about you. How did you get into sex work? That's a funny story. This is actually my second time in sex work and I don't talk about it much, but the way that I fell into it, I had just quit my corporate job and I was selling all of my stuff to go traveling.
00:09:22
Speaker
And I was selling a pair of seven-inch satin heels with a claw at the back. And I was selling them on Facebook Marketplace with my real name, real Facebook account. And this man messaged me. And he goes, I'm interested in buying these shoes for for my daughter. And I was like, oh, wonderful. OK, cool, yeah. They're this much money. And he's like, oh, I'm going to see if it's her size or not. 24 hours pass. And he messages me and he goes, they're not her size, but I would still like to pay you for your time. And I was like, yeah, sure. You can, I'll take your money, sir. And another 24 hours pass, I give him my email address, real first name, real last name, and nothing happens. And I go, oh, he's just trying to waste my time, whatever. The next day I get a message from him and he goes, the first transfer didn't go through.
00:10:17
Speaker
Now I want to double it because I wasted your time. And in my personal life, I'm quite kink educated. And I went, oh, he wants me to financially dominate him. And it just tumbled into this impromptu virtual session over Facebook Messenger. And it was so exciting. And it was so hot. And after half an hour, I thought, oh my god, this is great. I need to do more of this. And he said, oh my god, you're great at this. You need to do more of this. And um that was really like the birth of my experience in sex work. And I was actually living with a porn star at that time. um My very dear friend Clara Dee and I were roommates. And so I went home and I told her this. And she was very excited and had all the tools to get me set up. Nice. Yes, very lovely. Yes, in retrospect, um I
00:11:15
Speaker
Personally think that for security reasons you probably shouldn't be doing sessions with people you meet off the internet with your real name. Yes that is how I Managed myself, but it it wasn't I was not selling shoes with the intent to end up in porn um But I sold my shoes and the world had a different plan for me Actually, I never sold the shoes. I still have them. Well, they could probably be good for and another fucking session of some sort now. um So how long, when you say your second time, did you start for a little while and then quit? And then you've been back for what? About a year and a half?
00:12:02
Speaker
Yes, so before I was Elle, I was a Frisky Freya and I was Faceless. and I did a lot of Giant Tesporn. I'm not sure if you're familiar with it. I've never done any, but... I've always wanted to but if you're theatrical it's lots of fun there um and it was you know it was really hard. ah Content creation is hard. um I was struggling with figuring out my business strategy and I have a background in marketing and so after about a year and a half it was also like in the throes of the pandemic and so after about a year and a half I decided um
00:12:45
Speaker
I can't do this. I'm going to go back to marketing just to see whether I made the right decision in leaving. And I did make the right decision in leaving. um I went back to marketing. and I got like a good job, a really easy job. I was there for about eight months before they let me go. And when they let me go, I was on um unemployment and I really had some time to think about what I wanted to do. And I decided that I was going to go back into porn, but I was going to show my face and I was going to show a lot more of my personality because I was trying to branch out into femdom.
00:13:21
Speaker
when I was doing my giant test porn as well. But all of the femdoms that I saw, they were very harsh and they were very humiliating. And I'm just not good at humiliation. It doesn't excite me. It's not something I do in my personal life. And I thought, this time I want to bring like real aspects of me. like How do I play with kink and pleasure in my personal life into my porn? and then Elle was born and I have been Elle for about a year and a half now. here And I feel more aligned and more excited at the work that I'm doing. And I really feel like nothing makes me happier than when somebody messages me and says, because of you, I have been able to accept something that I want to do. Or because of you, I've learned how to talk to my partner about XYZ. That just makes me so happy.
00:14:16
Speaker
Oh no, that's a sweet yes so Yeah, I saw, I think it was yesterday on your Twitter that somebody had, I guess you made them a custom and they had tipped afterwards and just said something really nice and it was sweet. um yeah Yeah. Doesn't that look cute? Just feels so fucking good. I love that shit too. so you So you never did actual financial domination and that was just a one-off. Yeah, it was just a one-off. I think that like, I'm sure there are some very successful Fendoms out there. God, there are a follow a couple of them and like, Oh my gosh.
00:15:04
Speaker
I wish. It looks beautiful, but but tell us more about your gentle Vindham, what you love now. ah Yeah, so I do a lot of my tagline is your kinky carrying internet girlfriend um And so I want to hold people's hands and help them have like their first experience with Kings um my favorite is pegging and prostate play like my goal is that everyone who interacts with my content puts their finger up their butt at least once and maybe twice you know just just to be sure whether you like it or not if you don't like it it's fine but there's just so much pleasure to be had um in the rear for people who are born with a prostate.
00:15:53
Speaker
Um, and I do a lot of what I call, like, straight boy pegging. Um, because a lot of people come to me and they go, if I like butt stuff, does that make me gay? And I always say, like, your sexual orientation has to do with who you want to play with. And you want to play with me, a cisgender woman, and you are, for the most part, my clientele are cisgendered men. So this is like straight fun and you just want to play with your butt and that's totally normal Because you have a prostate up there and like that is there's a reason why prostate starts with P. It's for pleasure i like that little taglonie a good one Thank you, um and I also started getting into sissification but like sweet sissification I
00:16:42
Speaker
I just did a video not too long ago where I walk in on my husband watching sissy porn and I go, Oh my God, sweetie. How long have you been into this? Why didn't you tell me like I'm your wife and I want to be here to support you so you can explore all of your sexual fantasies. Like really create a kind, encouraging environment. Yeah. I mean, that makes me like. I'm telling I, I like some of them. I don't really like humiliation, but I like being very, very stern. And I guess psycho is more just like being psycho. But yeah, I do get a lot of people asking me to be more
00:17:34
Speaker
Mommy Dom. I don't know. I get people asking me all kinds of shit, honestly. so is there what What is the craziest thing anybody has ever asked you? Or just one of them. I'm sure there's multiple. Oh my goodness. um What is the craziest thing anyone has ever asked me to do? It could be like a session or a custom. It's just funny because like my gauge for crazy compared to that everyday person is very different.
00:18:07
Speaker
and so um I will tell you about the the craziest comment I've gotten. was on a cuck holding video that I made and the plot was um your wife just got cucked and she's back home telling you about it and the guy said what the fuck is this made up bullshit? No self-respecting man would let his wife fuck another woman and then want to hear about it. Which to me, my reaction is go tell me you want to be cucked without telling me you want to be cucked.
00:18:44
Speaker
yeah um But the craziest thing I ever had when I was before, the before times when I was Freya was I had this man and I'll never forget this and he would call me and he was chemically castrated by choice. And he would call me because he would have like, ah he really enjoyed the humiliation of like telling me about how he ended up getting castrated and like why he has chosen to do this to himself and like all of the things that he did that were wrong and illegal, like leading up to that. And he just like really enjoyed to like stew in his own humiliation, but he couldn't get aroused physically and he couldn't masturbate at all. And I just thought that was so,
00:19:30
Speaker
fascinating he would call me once a week for like two months just telling me his stories that's crazy do you know that i speaking of that i forgot until you just said that i have had two two gentlemen reach out it's been a very long time um reach out to me and want me to help them cut their penis off. And I was like, how me? Like, not gonna happen. And I, I don't know, I would like to think that they're all trolls, but one of them for sure asked three more of my friends. And so I really think that motherfucker was serious. And honestly,
00:20:20
Speaker
he was offering a good amount of money plus i know that he had bought from me and two friends so like that man really might have found somebody i think about him from time to time but he so the guy you're talking about did it illegally as well um no so what happened was he god He never went past masturbation in his sexual journey and he obviously had some sort of mental disorder where he became addicted to masturbating and his masturbation escalated so he would expose himself to people and he ended up in jail because he was masturbating and exposing himself to people.
00:21:07
Speaker
And when he was released on probation, one of the terms of his probation was to be chemically castrated. And he actually continued with that because with the combination of being chemically castrated and anti addiction medication, and he was able to go to school and he um became an engineer and he had built this like really beautiful life for himself and he wanted to find a doctor who would castrate him because he Felt all of these uncontrollable urges around masturbating and since he could not find a doctor that would actually castrate him He would just have to go in for chemical castration shots once a month Wow Interesting I learned something new like every fucking
00:21:51
Speaker
day in this. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. So anyway, on that note, hello how do you stay motivated and avoid burnout in this industry? Good question. um I try to sync my production schedule with my menstrual cycle and that helps a lot. And you know, I, I bulk create my content, which also helps a lot. I need to learn to do that. Teach me your ways. We can have another conversation. It's very, very helpful. um And I'm really lucky because I have two very close friends who are in the in the industry. I have Clara Dee that I mentioned before, who and I have been friends for 18 years now. um And we actually met one of our other friends, Hazmeek.
00:22:46
Speaker
um I met her on Twitter. We were both doing giant test stuff. And so we've been friends like since I started in the beginning. And like the three of us have this sex work support group. We meet twice a month. We have a group chat. And it's just like really nice because we support each other. We do collabs. So when we do collabs, we have a tag team on the content creation. And that just helps take the load off everyone. And yeah, like community um community keeps me sane. yeah i'm currently looking for that but it's hard down here in the south in the bible belt there are not many people so good for you i'm happy that you have found that are they people well one of them lives in your town because you said y'all at one time live together is the other person close to you as well
00:23:37
Speaker
No, unfortunately, she's not local, but with the internet, it's easy to meet up. yes um I have started something where I organize um like a sex work cenca set with all of the other people in the industry who want to come locally. And that's nice. It's just like, I don't know if you've been to any conferences like AVN or an ex-biz. I would suggest it. I went to AVN for the first time this past year and it was just like so nice to be around people where you're like, yeah, I make porn. They're like, yes, it's another Tuesday afternoon, isn't it? Yeah, I would love, I would love that. I need to, I need to step out of my comfort zone.
00:24:20
Speaker
Yeah. And just do it. Are you going to go to another one soon? Yeah. Probably not so soon. I'm considering going to XBiz LA. We'll see where I'm at in the winter. I'll definitely be going to XBiz Miami, um but it just passed. So it will be next year in May. Cool. Yeah. I need to check it out. A lot of it Like I've told you before we started this and I've told my fans a million times I get here tired of it. But yeah, I just really started feeling better in like November, December, getting my little ass out of bed. I was mostly making porn like in my bedroom when I felt good. Um, so yeah, I would love to do that and get out and meet some people cause yeah,
00:25:12
Speaker
it's kind of crazy you don't hear it in the south i can't even imagine yeah um what about with your fans how do you build and maintain a strong connection with them you've talked about that a little bit already how you yeah um i'm still working on it um Once I have people on my fan sites, my real goal is to like always surprise and delight. I think that I have a very good offering. um My subscription price is $9.99. I make um ah give them one free video a week and they get early access to my Pornhub content. um
00:25:56
Speaker
I chat with them and I also post like four or five times a week in addition to those videos. So I think that I'm offering a really good value for my price and I feel like that's a nice way to connect with them. um I chitchat with them. I do lots of tasks. I really engage with them to learn more about their kinks because there are some kinks that I explore online that I haven't had the chance to explore in my real life. I just haven't met anyone who's into them. Like I'm learning so much about sissies just from the the sissies who I play with online. And I find that really fascinating. As far as like,
00:26:37
Speaker
attracting and introducing myself to a new audience online. That has been a challenge. you know um I'm not ready to go on safe for work social media. That's a project I'm going to work on this summer. But I have a pretty big community on Pornhub um and I make lots of videos and I make sure to engage with people in the comments section, show them that I care, but you also have to find a balance, right? Because I could spend all day.
00:27:10
Speaker
every day answering comments. But the reality is I also have to film. I also have to edit. I also need to find time for myself. Like I really need a alone time in the order to be my best self. yeah And it's yeah. And so, you know, I've only been doing this for about a year and a half with this model. but I'm still learning. Yeah. i I always tell people to be in this industry, to be in a lot of industries. Honestly, you have to have that lifelong learner mindset.
00:27:43
Speaker
i You might have your total time and sex work is probably more than mine, but mine is coming up on three years. and I'm constantly having to evolve and learn something new. And yeah, and also good for you for trying the safe for work um platforms because it's hard. There's something, I don't know what it is, but I feel much less vulnerable when I'm doing the porn.
00:28:23
Speaker
Yeah. And then, but this is my way. This is this podcast is my way like to, you know, get into it slowly because it's something I ah love that I can, you know, promote other models. And so we'll see. Maybe eventually I'll start making, you know, Instagram reels or TikToks on my own. But, um, I don't know, it takes a lot of vulnerability and I don't know, something about it is real scary to me. Yeah, I completely agree, Vera. That's why i haven't I was on Instagram for a little bit and then I stopped and I made a promise to myself that by the end of the month I would start posting
00:29:15
Speaker
something manageable, you know, like four or five times a week. um But I feel the same way, like it's much more comfortable for me to get naked um and to masturbate than it is for me to just be on film. And I'm like, I don't even know what to do. i dont I don't know what to say and I don't know how to tie it in to me. a and I know. I know. I have like endless notes on my phone about all these ideas and then
00:29:51
Speaker
I just never get around to actually completing it except for my porn. If it's porn, like, yes, I have great, you know, all these ideas and... I put them into my content, but yeah, that's safe for work stuff, but you can do it. I believe in you now. You've got this. Thank you. You can do it. And yeah, do manageable at first, even if it's less than, even if it's like once or twice a week, you know, it doesn't, I know that everybody says daily, daily, daily, but you don't have to start out daily. fucking know You know. A lot of building the habit of it, right?
00:30:30
Speaker
Yeah. Yes. You just have to build the habit. So, but what, what does inspire you to make the content you do? Where do you find inspiration? Um, I have a, excuse me. Ah, it's, uh, Patricia. We have a guest. This is cafe everybody. Hi. and be Yeah. He's a good boy. The only good boy I really need is me. I have a firm belief that if people were to have more orgasms, that the world would be a better place. And that's like an oversimplified way of seeing it. But I, you know, it's funny because when I was, no, don't do that.
00:31:25
Speaker
um When I was 18, I couldn't even utter the word masturbate. you know I was so repressed. um And I went on this really big journey of sexual exploration. And I i had my first orgasm at 23, five years after I first became sexually active. And I i guess i like I always knew I was kinky. I, I, I always knew I liked breath play. I always knew I liked being restrained, but I didn't know what that was. Like I didn't have the words for it. And then when I had my first orgasm with his boyfriend, I obviously felt safe with him. And I remember talking to him and I was like, well, well like, what kind of sex do you want to have? And he looked me straight in the eyes and he said, normal sex. And that just crushed me. That like.
00:32:22
Speaker
It really crushed me and um I was going through some issues at that point in my life. My dad had been diagnosed with cancer, so I did not break up with that boyfriend until about a year or so after that um when I had the capacity to deal with the emotional labor of that. But after him and I broke up, I went on this journey of Sexploration and really getting to know myself and what I want my desires and like immersing myself in the King community and I Just realized that like kink is how we play as adults and thank you. Yeah, it is and we never need to stop being like Kids in our mind, you know what I'm saying? Like the play it's so fucking important before this and
00:33:09
Speaker
I was in education and I worked with um ah worked with students with special needs, but just such a big part of that was how important play is to reach children. And I swear they're like, are not enough studies. There should be studies about how play also can be good for adults. A hundred percent. And I feel like, I feel like my like sexual, what did you call it? You said like your sexual journey. I feel like i like my sexploration. Sexploration is what, yeah, I feel like I was
00:34:02
Speaker
just so reserved and shy that my sexploration has not even started until or it started more after I got into porn and it's been beautiful. I would have really Considered myself my whole life like pretty vanilla and now it's like oh let's try this let's do this and it's It's really great, and I think I have Porn to thank for that you know so yeah what impact do you think that the adult content industry
00:34:48
Speaker
has owned society, whether it's positive or negative. Yeah. um I think that we are in a new age right now. And that with the rise of the independent content creator, we are seeing a shift in how porn impacts people. And I think about this a lot. um So I have two little nieces and I know that, like the very super young, they but I do think like when they're grown up, if their first ah experience with a boy, assuming that they end up being heterosexual, um it was with a man who had only consumed my porn, how would I feel about that?
00:35:44
Speaker
And I use that as my North Star because I know that about 80% of people's first experience with sex is pornography. And I would rather someone stumble upon my porn that talks about consent, that has aftercare, that has like active communication in it where they can learn tangible tools to bring into their other relationships than for them to stumble upon revenge porn or a girl gets gangbanged by seven people. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but my
00:36:29
Speaker
My opinion is that ah porn that's made through a traditionally like male gaze for a traditional male audience from the generations before us shows is very transactional and objectifies women a lot and doesn't have the conversations that often happen off camera. you know In that gangbang scene, I'm sure, I mean, I would hope that this actress had a meeting with the director and the crew and be like, this is my yes, no list. These are the things I'm okay with. These are the things that I'm not okay with. This is the safe word that we're going to use if things get out of hand. But none of that is shown in the porn. And without that context, people are going to have certain beliefs about what sex is supposed to look like. It goes back to your listener's question. I made this sound and now I'm humiliated.
00:37:23
Speaker
Yeah, it does. and yeah Yeah, there are just so many misconceptions. I'll admit that
00:37:35
Speaker
even though I've always been a very open-minded person and I wasn't really kink-educated honestly I've learned a lot through this but yeah there are a lot of misconceptions that I hate that people are gonna see but are there any that Are there any misconceptions that you even thought before coming into porn? or
00:38:06
Speaker
um I think I was, you know, there were obviously misconceptions that I had when I was, before my journey of sexploration began. yeah You know, my father always told me like, never take naked photos of you that include your face or like, if you do this, you're going to look like a whore. And you know, I seriously thank goddess he's dead. He is the person who I would be the most concerned about with what I do for work. I think he would have come around because you know like I'm a strong, independent woman, like paving my way and building an empire for myself. And he was really out there, but I'm sure that the initial shock would have been hard because of the beliefs that he had about pornography. um I think that what's really great about OnlyFans, and again, the rise of the independent creator, is that it is
00:38:59
Speaker
making sex workers become more mainstream, you know? Like, I'm not sure if you're familiar with Savannah Solo. um She's a big porn star. And ah Lucas Studios sent her a gift basket because she's really into Star Wars. And I was like, wow, this family brand just sent, sorry, them, they go by they them pronouns sent this person who's an adult creator, a gift basket. um And that just shows how things are evolving. um And also after my journey of sexploration, you know, I knew Clara for a long time when she started porn and I...
00:39:38
Speaker
didn't just meet her after she started porn. we We're lifelong friends, right? So immediately all of my misconceptions went out the window because I knew her as a person. And that's kind of how I like to approach telling people that I do porn now. Like when I meet strangers, sometimes I just won't ask what they do for work because if you don't ask somebody what they do for work, they're not going to ask you. I never asked that question anymore. But yeah, people love asking. I guess it's just easy. Small talk. Small talk. Yeah. But so you do tell some people, damn it. I don't know. all ah did was like this that's great I don't know how to turn that shit off. Yeah. It'll do like, no. Oh, wow. Yeah.
00:40:27
Speaker
I don't know exactly how I'm doing it. I guess it's double thumbs up and you get fucking weird. That's so... Oh, hey, me too. Yeah.
00:40:39
Speaker
ah So I... that That's gonna be really boring for the podcast audience. Sorry, y'all. That was... fireworks behind us because i made a thumbs up so um yeah so my it depends if i'm out with my group of friends and like everyone is my friends or a friend of a friend i'll tell people what i do because my community knows what i do and i'm celebrated for that and i assume that a friend of my friend is going to be cool But like I took an improv class and I just, you know, I made other types of small talk and then I took the same class with the same people. So I had known these people for about like six months and at the end of the six months, you know, they were getting curious and they asked me what I did and I told them.
00:41:24
Speaker
And they said, why didn't you just tell us before? And I was, I didn't not tell you. Nobody asked me what I did for work. Um, but I try to let people, especially strangers, I try to let them get to know me as a person before I tell them what I do for work. Yeah. My therapist told me that I don't, that I can let people get to know me before. I just blur that out because I always feel like if I don't tell people that I'm lying and no, it's just keeping myself safe and there's a difference and I don't know, it's hard, but good for you. Yeah, for knowing the right time. Cause not everyone out there is accepting, but I'm so happy you have a good community that will accept you. yeah
00:42:21
Speaker
um How do you balance your professional life with your personal life and do you face any challenges in doing so? oh um Yes, so I'm still trying to learn how to be my own boss.
00:42:45
Speaker
um And i the biggest challenge that I have found since doing sex work is how to create space for my own erotic self in a way that has nothing to do with worth. because there is the sex that I do for work and then there there's the sex that I do for myself and I think it's very important, especially because I am such a sexual being, it's very important for me to have sex that's just for me, just for me and the people who I want to have sex with.
00:43:17
Speaker
And so I've started to create um some rituals around my personal erotic experiences to kind of switch my brain into sexy time. You know, I have responsive desire like a lot of people who were assigned female at birth, so that way I know it's sexy time for me. And I have decided for the foreseeable future that the people who I play with who are in content creators, like that's just between me and those people. yeah you know i don't need to My fans don't need to know the the details of it. um Some of them are very private and it's my choice to be a public figure. And so I don't need to even put that stress onto them or impose my
00:44:08
Speaker
Professional personality onto my sexual relationships in my personal life. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's That's perfect. I ah Most listeners know that I am married and my husband I call him like a like stand in cock or something like that because he's just the cock but um when when i first started and when i started to like build um my following and you know get the hang of it i did not at all want every time him and i were having sex i was like i gotta get a camera i'm gonna have a camera and i found out really fast that
00:44:57
Speaker
I mean, it didn't do any damage to us or anything, but I had to find out really fast that, um, that's not good Vera. Like you can't do that. You need like that special Tom. And even like now just for myself, because heck I'm masturbating daily for my job. And like, you know, sometimes, but like, When am I just masturbating? Exploring my own body. So like I feel ya that is Important that is very important 100% like you are it's just like any job you are more than your job. Yes. Yeah, but it was to be fair I'd like to tell things for like the newcomers to like it
00:45:51
Speaker
yeah It looked like me just being super excited about my job and loving my job and so And it never it like I said, it did not put a strain on my marriage at all. I just had to realize like yes Girl, like you're not just your job. You still gotta like it's not intimacy if you're you know, recording yourself on camera though, you know, so you got to learn that. Um, speaking of new content creators, is there any advice, maybe some mistakes or something that you would give them? Oh my gosh, so much. I think of if you're not okay with everyone, you know, seeing your content, don't do it. Yeah.
00:46:46
Speaker
Just don't do it. yeah i to Even if you're faceless, even if you geo block, like um I said, Clara and I. our lifelong friends, and she geoblocks the entire province of Quebec that we live in. And when we started to collaborate, she said, people we know from high school are going to see her porn. And it's funny because like she doesn't like that. I was not very popular in high school. um So like the thought of the people who bullied me, jerking off to me now as an adult, like
00:47:20
Speaker
i dont Exactly. yeah I'm like, I'm okay with that. Oh yeah. That's funny. grew up in um a small Southern Baptist town and oh my God, ah I would fucking love them to come across some of my content. I probably really, the funny thing is, is I don't know how much you or our listeners know about ah like a Southern Baptist Community but I don't know anything. Tell me oh man. They well, let me just speak for mine and then other people that I've heard they they do things like masturbate and You know even fuck cheat all kinds of things, but they just lie about it. So like It would just be funny because they'd probably come across it, you know, like I
00:48:18
Speaker
Porn is a big sin. It's probably some of people I know personally in the government that are trying to ban it. You know, I don't know if down here in the States they're trying to ban it everywhere. Yeah. just heard it insane you know they watch I know they watch it but it would it would just be funny if they um came across it some of them are honest to God I still live near my hometown and um I honestly think if some of them found it first of all they'd tell everyone and I think I think that i um a group of people would like come by my house and try to have like a prayer meeting
00:49:05
Speaker
with me and like lay hands on me. Nova. And I'm just like, ah yeah, but you know, I'm not going to go out and tell them, but if they found out like, whatever, I do not, I do not care. I think it would be really funny. They would like think I was going to hell and pray for me and whatever, like it's they crazy he down here not everybody but you know it's weird but anyway yeah so everyone you know will see your porn if you're not okay with it
00:49:50
Speaker
um It is not fast money. God, no. No. ah But if it does give you a lot of freedom, if that's what you want. Beautiful, beautiful freedom. That's all I wanted. Oh, yeah. And the internet does not forget. Mm-hmm. No, it doesn't and like I have You're gonna get your shit leaked. I don't know how they do it, but they're fucking Geniuses about it. Sometimes I don't even think it's people that are actually buying my content I think they're pulling it from sites and just dumping it. Do you do anything like brand it scan? for your content No, um I mean, I don't think it
00:50:41
Speaker
i can get I have watermarks. I don't just use like the only pants watermark. I usually have a watermark like in the middle off to the side of my content. So if they were to crop it out, it would look real awkward. yeah And I just see it as free publicity. yeah like i I'm on Pornhub. i um it really pisses me off but so I do have like a monthly thing but uh it's so bad I swear sometimes every day there'll be like 300 leaks so and I mean I'm sure it's like you know once they've got that content they're just gonna keep putting it out there it's not like I don't know I don't know how it works but it must be another like multi-million dollar
00:51:30
Speaker
industry just leaking our shit, which is insane. How do you handle criticism and negativity? Do you still see that um online or in person ever? um In person, the most negativity that I've gotten in person was when I told my aunt what I did and she said, Elle, do you really want to do this? And we haven't talked about it since then. um But when the conversation arises again, I'm just going to tell her that if she loved me unconditionally, she would want me to be happy and I'm happy. yeah africa So, but I'm very lucky. yeah You know, my family knows, my friends know, everyone knows, and I am celebrated for what I do. this song I'm actually.
00:52:20
Speaker
Yeah, like it's just a job. And online, like the internet is very nice to me. Are they? Girl, I feel they have. I swear, I think in the past year, they've been really, really nice. I think and I was never, before I started born work, I never had even like taken a selfie or anything like that. I just, I didn't really, have personal social media. I don't know if it was the time I grew up in where I just didn't care. But, um, so I'd never had access, you know, I'd never done it, but then, Ooh, they can be mean when you're first starting out. Holy fuck. Just for like no reason. Just, I don't know if it's their kinks. I don't know what it is, but
00:53:11
Speaker
No matter what you look like, no matter how beautiful you are, they're still going to try to call you ugly. And it was just bad. It would hurt my fucking feelings, but I'm a little, uh, I'm sorry about that. It's all right. I got the throwaway and I just, what you have to do is like ignore that shit. Like, thank you for the engagement yes sometimes at all I'll be really really sweet and that pisses them off more and I'll answer yeah I'll say thanks so much or it like I won't even say more than that like I'll say thanks so much yeah sincere because yeah you're helping my engagement exactly a little crazy but yeah
00:53:56
Speaker
The worst comments I get because I have a I told you I do a lot of pegging porn and I'm quite active in the pegging separates. Yeah, but I have two straps that I peg with and one of them is a Certified beginner anal play strap on because it goes back to like the importance of education and listen if it is your first time getting pegged You probably should just start with a finger, but you definitely shouldn't be putting a seven-inch dildo in your ass Yeah um So I have lots of pictures with my little strap. I don't know, it's probably about this big. yeah And I get lots of comments saying like, this is too small. You would never satisfy me, blah, blah, blah. And my immediate thought is, I bet you've never been fucked in the ass yeah by a real person. yeah um But my comment is always, well, once you can prove to me that you can take it, I'll upgrade you to my big boy dick. Hard emoji, smiley face.
00:54:54
Speaker
have a nice day good good for you because yeah those trolls are weird trolls are weird actually when time like about a year year and a half into sex work like trying to do my own like little research on trolls and like what kind of mindset they have and yeah most of them are like
00:55:21
Speaker
Like the, have you ever heard of the dark triad personalities, which is like, what is it? Like sociopaths, narcissists, and something else. I don't know, but like psychopaths. Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. Like I can't remember exactly the three, but, um, yeah, most of the time they fit into that. And so yeah, they're just people that, won't get pleasure off of seeing others hurt. So fuck them. But another thing is, and this is for anyone who's thinking about going into sex work and to all the fem doms out there, some people just want free humiliation. Yes. Oh my God. That's how I found out. That's exactly right. Um, that's how I found out. I was good at humiliation because I started out as a cam model.
00:56:15
Speaker
and um they would come in and just say something mean and then I would cuss them out and then some I don't remember some one of my like good customers told me that was what was going on or I just figured it out they were coming back and back and back and Yeah, they like humiliation. So yeah don't give it to them for free, baby. No charge for that. Yeah. And I would get good money for humiliation. So yeah, don't y'all dare give any of that shit out for free because this job is so fucking hard. So what do you like to do?
00:57:02
Speaker
on your town hall or some of your hobbies, interests outside of sex work. Yeah, well I like to play with my cat who made a guest appearance, Cafe. ah He is, cats are just earth angels. I like to dance. Nice. um I do burlesque, I do floor work, I do chair dancing. I'm a really good twerker as well. I've been working on my twerking but not that great.
00:57:35
Speaker
you should take a class if you if you have one or there are some online schools because there is definitely a technique to twerking yeah yeah i've uh at least figured that much out and i'm like i'm getting there i can now like use i know which muscle it is that you have to use and that's about all that's cool how long have you been doing burlesque and I've been for about, I've been taking dance classes for about three years. um I really learned that I love dancing when I started going to music festivals and I used to hate dancing when I was younger, um but something just switched and I would have all of these people come up to me and they're like, oh my God, are you a professional dancer? And I was like, no.
00:58:17
Speaker
stop it. So I started taking classes and like it's very different being in a class environment than dancing at a festival. But it's nice to learn different techniques. Yeah, that is cool. I might have to look into that for real because I'm I've thought about it for a long time. I've always loved like watching dancers. But My music that I like is like hip-hop and like that shit it just seems so hard. I don't know. I would definitely have to do it online where like they're not watching me because I don't want them to see me. Do you actually like take like you go to the studio would take classes? Yeah. Good for you. Is that it's your form of exercise as well or self-care or?
00:59:13
Speaker
It's it's self-care It's a nice way to connect with my erotic self and I'm not on camera like it's just for me most of the time um I also go to the gym. I love going to the gym and I cook I like to take baths and I like to have kinky, sexy playtime. and that But just for me yeah just for me and the people who I want to be with. yeah And that's like a very nice way to... And I guess I'll tell you a little secret. So I'm a top at work, but I am a switch.
00:59:51
Speaker
um and so in my personal life i have a few doms that i play with um only women i only like to be taught by women and it's a really nice reset after being on top all day long to have somebody top you such as nice any um more personal kinks i think you told us a few of them um I love pegging. i like I really love the vulnerability and the self-actualization that it takes for a someone who's been socialized as a man to say, I want to get fucked in the ass. like I just is have a very special place for it in my heart. yeah
01:00:43
Speaker
pardon i yeah the soft voice. I'm like, let me take you.
01:00:51
Speaker
um I'm really into praise. Like I was just meant to be a goddess. I love to be worshipped. Yeah, I like that too. And I'm really into like the erotic, so like not necessarily sex per se, but like the tease, building anticipation, ah playing with all of your senses, so you know like
01:01:23
Speaker
touch and taste and smell and sound just like creating an environment for intimacy without the expectation of sex and since I do have sex with women like it's helped me take penetrative sex off of pedestal like I in my personal sex life I penetrate a lot more than I'm penetrated and I'm totally okay with that. Nice. Very nice. I love that. Are there any um cool projects or collabs that you've worked on in the past or coming up that you want to tell us about?
01:02:02
Speaker
Yeah, so I just started something on my OnlyFans called Kink Week and every month I have a different theme and they go in, I do it twice a month in like two week bundles and ah and last month was May I Peg You? So it was all pegging content um and it's accessible for like people of all experience levels um and it consists of seven audio tasks and three videos in relation to that kink and right now in June I'm doing CEI summer and in August it's gonna be anal August and like it's just been a fun way to explore different kinks with people and in the fall I'm gonna get my sex educator certification so it's still a little way off but how do you do that I'm looking forward to that ah so there is no governing born for
01:02:56
Speaker
board a board for sex educators in Canada but there is one school and so I applied and I was like I would like to be a sex educator. um It's an online class which is great because they're based in Vancouver um but they do have an online session in the fall and it was so funny they in the application they're like we want you to have two letters of reference and I was like I am an independent sex worker like I don't know who's gonna write me a letter but Claire wrote me a letter and then one of my partners um who is in education also wrote me a letter and I actually did a call out to my subscribers and I said if I've ever made you like feel comfortable with yourself and your sexuality and your body if you could write me a little blurb like that for this application that would be great and so I took screenshots of all of those messages and hey
01:03:48
Speaker
I redacted some of the kinkier words, like they don't need to know that I helped this guy with anal training and finding out that he loves pegging. Yeah, so I applied and the class starts in October and I'm really excited about that. It's a lot more. um biology ah focused and like the biology of sex and anatomy and like how to be a facilitator in a class setting. So I think it'll be a nice compliment to my skills because for at least right now, like I know enough about kinks. Yeah. Like I don't need someone to teach me about enthusiastic consent. Yeah. I love it. That's awesome. Good for you. You start that in August. So I start that. No, I started in October. Okay. That'll be good.
01:04:31
Speaker
Good for you. So where do you see yourself in five, 10, and 20 years in this world? That's a great question. And I'm still trying to figure that out. um I've only been doing this like fully out for a year and a half. And I feel like so much has shifted since then. um i would like to make like some sort of sexy sex ed. um I feel really called to the idea of doing coaching of some sort. So maybe it's like kink coaching or just like intimacy in relationship coaching, um but also having a library of free and accessible content on the more mainstream social media platforms because that's where
01:05:26
Speaker
the young people are. And while you can, you know, like as an adult, you can like dismantle your beliefs and you can relearn things. But I do think it's easier if you're like 18 and just starting your sexual journey and learning about enthusiastic consent and active communication and sex at 18 instead of at like 26. That's so awesome. Good for you. I'm proud of you for you doing that and I hope it goes well but I fucking know it will so tell us all the platforms that we can find you on
01:06:06
Speaker
Okay, yeah. ah So I am Elle Arrows on OnlyFans, Fansly, and all of the clip sites. So many vids. I want clips and clips for sale um on Twitter. Elle Arrows was taken. So I'm Elle Arrows XXX. Twitter is where I'm most active for the time being. If you can't remember my handles, I do have a website, ElleArrows.com. And I'm hoping to be on Instagram by the time this episode comes out and my handle on Instagram is also laros. Awesome. And I will be putting all of Elle's information in the description of wherever you are listening or watching.
01:06:49
Speaker
And Elle, is there anything else you want to tell the people about you or sex work or anything today? Some parting words. I don't know if you could see on my shirt, but my shirt says sex workers making people happy for millennia. Oh right, this is a podcast, but you might be able to see it, Vera. And I want people to remember that sex work is one of the oldest jobs that has ever existed. And like we have we were people when it started, and we're people now. And if we were to be treated like people, the industry would look very different. And as a result, the people who are consuming that content, which is most of the people on this planet, would look
01:07:39
Speaker
Different. Yeah, and we would be a little bit closer to like world peace and happiness Damn it. Y'all if you just get with it But yeah, I love that. Thank you so much for being here with us Elle and Remember again guys, I will put all of the information in the description so you can find this beauty and check out some pegging or cei or sissification or try some new kinks all right and thanks again for checking us out and we'll see you next time bye thanks for having me you're welcome
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Speaker
and
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