Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Unboxed, Unburdened, Unstoppable. I'm your host, Michelle Madrid, and if you're navigating the grief of midlife, feeling the weight of fading identities, shifting roles, and the lives you've outgrown, this is the place for you.
Speaker: In this space, we honor who we've been, we've sacrificed, and what we've tucked away while preparing our kids to leave the nest. Together we'll unbox the limiting beliefs, outdated expectations, and old identities that no longer serve you so that you can reclaim your voice, your power, and step boldly into this next chapter of your life.
Speaker: Are you ready? Before we dive I want to share a tool that has absolutely changed my life. My daily check-in. It's a five-step practice I use every morning to reconnect with myself, ground in how I'm feeling, and take one small aligned step forward.
Speaker: Now, it takes only 10 minutes a day, and it's become a non-negotiable part of my routine. This is one of the best first things you can do to start familiarizing yourself with some of the boxes you've hidden away that are holding you back.
Speaker: You can download it for free at themichellemadrid.com slash daily. That's themichellemadrid.com slash daily or click the links in the show notes.
Speaker: All right, box breakers, let's get into today's episode.
Speaker: Hi friends, I'm Michelle Madrid. Welcome to Unboxed, Unburdened, Unstoppable. I'm so glad you're here because this is our space. It feels so good to say that. This is the space for midlife women who are standing in the doorway of their next chapter.
Speaker: This is a space for we as midlife women to speak truthfully and honestly real raw about what this season in life really feels like.
Speaker: What does it really feel like to stand here as a midlife woman living, breathing, desiring, questioning?
Speaker: What does that really feel like?
Speaker: And to stop pretending, to stop hiding that, you know, sometimes we don't feel like we're breaking a little bit on the inside or a lot of it.
Speaker: It's time to get real about midlife. And so if you're listening today and if you're a mom who's standing on the edge of empty nesting, this episode is for you.
Speaker: It's for your heart that's so filled with love. It's for your hands that may be loosening their grip, but not quite ready yet to let your kids go.
Speaker: It's for your soul that may be whispering, well, what's next? Who am I now? Who am I now?
Speaker: Because for so many women, so many moms, this is the summer before goodbye. And you likely know what I mean by that if you're one of those moms standing on the brink of empty nesting.
Speaker: yeah The summer before goodbye, you know, represents those precious moments, those weeks
Speaker: that happen after graduation, but before letting go, that tender time in between graduation and letting go It's the moments that we find ourselves holding our kids close while also preparing them
Speaker: to fly off on their own, preparing ourselves to send them off. to usher them into this next chapter of their lives.
Speaker: It's a tender time, and I have been hearing from so many of you lately, and I want to thank you for reaching out to me.
Speaker: So if you're listening to my voice right now, um I want you to know I feel you. And if you're listening, you're listening into this episode right now, and perhaps you're walking the aisles of Target with your soon-to-be college student and you're purchasing items for their dorm room and you're forcing a smile when you want really want to sit down and cry, I see you.
Speaker: And if you're a mom who is maybe holding back tears during college orientation, i see you too.
Speaker: Or if you're watching the sunset and you're wondering quietly to yourself, how how many more sunsets are there before have to send my ah kid off to school, to college? How many more sunsets do I have with them still in their room?
Speaker: How many more?
Speaker: And you feel this ache of grief inside. And that grief that grief that you are feeling right here, right now, in this moment with me, it is real and it is valid.
Speaker: Because it's so important to remind you that that the emotions that you're feeling, very real, true, raw emotions, are proof of how much you love.
Speaker: So take that in for a moment. That ache you feel that feels so big in your heart is proof of just how much you love, how deep, how vast, how unconditional, everlasting your love is. so celebrate that.
Speaker: It's a beautiful thing. It doesn't mean that it doesn't ache sometimes, but what a beautiful gift. And I want to remind you as much as you feel like you might be breaking in this moment, you are not broken.
Speaker: There's a difference. You're not weak. You're not overreacting. You are ah mother in this sacred, sometimes excruciating act of letting go. And quite frankly, nobody prepares us for this.
Speaker: Few want to even talk about it until now. So as I see it, we as moms, you know, we prepare for labor. Think of all you did in the preparation of bringing your child into the world. We prepare for these things. We prepare for the milestones in our kids' lives, right?
Speaker: We organize for their birthdays, their first day of preschool, of kindergarten. We organize their school pickups and the drop-offs.
Speaker: We organize piano lessons and soccer games, we do all of that.
Speaker: But nobody prepares us for this moment. And that's really true. No one prepares us for this. This slow and stretching goodbye.
Speaker: It's a whole other kind of birth. Only this time, It's you who is being born again. It's you. So in my unboxing approach to coaching, and I want to say that this approach that I have developed started when my eldest son was preparing to go off to college. And I was feeling all of these things. I was questioning all of this.
Speaker: And I felt the ache of dropping him off to college and holding myself together, feeling so proud that I was holding myself together and not falling apart in front of him. And I didn't cry until I got home.
Speaker: And then I fell apart in the hallway outside of his room. The door was closed. It was quiet. And I just pressed myself against the door and fell apart. I've shared that story before, but it's worthy of sharing it again, because that's how this started.
Speaker: This journey of unboxing myself, getting back to me, And the realization um the reality of this natural progression progression, yes, children grow up and yes, they do go off on their own.
Speaker: We did it. Our parents did it, but it doesn't make it any easier when we're the parent sending our kids off. We all move through this tender, difficult, beautiful, heart-wrenching time.
Speaker: And What I want to offer to you is that there's such opportunity here and I want you to focus on that. There is opportunity in this moment of midlife and of empty nesting and of the space that opens up for us as women.
Speaker: It may feel more quiet. Our calendars may clear up. There may not be as much on the to-do list and the caring for others. But it is a beautiful time to start turning the spotlight back on yourself and caring for you.
Speaker: So in my unboxing approach and what I recognized when I was moving through this just on my own as a woman trying to find traction and a pathway back to me is I realized how important it was, step number one, to name the box that was rattling inside of me. What was that place that I felt so
Speaker: strongly inside of me wanted to be looked at. So step number one is always naming the box. And if you have my unbox daily check-in tool, this is a free tool that I offer.
Speaker: You perhaps have moved through this first step of naming the box. Perhaps you have moved through the other steps that follow. But if you haven't yet downloaded my unbox daily check-in tool, again, it is a free tool.
Speaker: I urge you to do that. You can go to themichellemadrid.com slash unbox and download that daily check-in tool for free. You can find the link in the show notes. I encourage you to access it, download it if you haven't already. It is an amazing tool. I use it daily and it's a powerful way to connect with yourself and identify any box at any given moment.
Speaker: that may be rattling and showing up for you. So let's take a moment and let's pause here and let's name what this moment, this box really is that you're dealing with.
Speaker: Because you see, empty nesting isn't just about them leaving. gonna say that again. Empty nesting isn't just about our kids leaving.
Speaker: Empty nesting is also about you shifting. And that's why I call this very tender time in a woman's life, the midlife shift.
Speaker: So much is shifting and changing. I know that can be very uncomfortable, but within that discomfort, within what feels really messy, I promise you there is miracle.
Speaker: Empty nesting isn't just about packing a suitcase for our kids. It's about unpacking our identity as women. So I want to invite you now to grab a journal or a piece of paper or just take a moment, a quiet moment for yourself.
Speaker: And oh my, my dear friend, you deserve that. And consider these three questions I'm about to move through. You can write them down. You can come back to them if you need to. They're here for you.
Speaker: but do give yourself the opportunity. I'm going to use that word again, the opportunity to explore the answers that come up for you as you contemplate these questions.
Speaker: Okay. So question number one is what part of my identity, what part of my identity has been most tied to motherhood?
Speaker: What part of my identity has been most tied to my role as a mother. And don't overthink this, just write down the first thing that comes to mind.
Speaker: Write it down, no judgment, just write it down, let it flow.
Speaker: And the second question after that is, what emotions have I been trying to box up or silence during this transition?
Speaker: Again, what emotions have I been trying to box up our silence during this transition? Write down the first things that come to your mind. There are no wrong answers, right? There's only your truth to be witnessed.
Speaker: Write it down. And then thirdly, where have I been hiding in the role of mother? This is an interesting one. Where have I been hiding in the role of mother?
Speaker: And what's asking to come forward now that this rhythm is changing, that this rhythm is shifting.
Speaker: Take some time to look at these questions, to keep coming back to them over the course of today, maybe tomorrow.
Speaker: You don't have to move through this quickly, but be consistent. in your dedication and your commitment to asking yourself these questions and writing down what comes from um through you and what rises up for to look at.
Speaker: And then take a deep breath with me. I know these aren't easy questions. Believe me, I've asked these of myself. These are not easy questions. They're not supposed to be, but they are necessary ones.
Speaker: They're necessary. Because if you don't name the box, you can't open it. We can't open what we haven't named. We can't look at what we haven't named.
Speaker: The first step is always naming the box. Step number one. And you know, that's why this podcast is here for you. And that's what I'm here for.
Speaker: Not just to validate you, Although I'm always going to do that. I'm going to validate you because we all need to be reminded of our worth, right? But it's to help you unbox those places that have been buried beneath the surface, maybe for years and years and years.
Speaker: It's time to excavate those places, to dust them off, to open them up and look at them. So this summer, as I mentioned, I have received so many messages from from moms in this exact moment of empty nesting.
Speaker: And they're moving through this summer before goodbye, and they're sharing with me their experiences, their thoughts, their emotions, their feelings.
Speaker: And it's been such a beautiful sharing. And I want to just move through a few comments that have been sent to me. See if you resonate with any of these.
Speaker: One woman wrote to me, it hits like an enormous wave and it knocks me off my feet. These emotions I'm having is I'm in the midst of empty nesting.
Speaker: It hits like an enormous wave and it knocks me off my feet. It takes my breath away.
Speaker: Another woman wrote, I'm watching the calendar like it is a countdown to heartbreak. I cry in the laundry room. I cry in the car.
Speaker: I cry in the shower. And I don't even know who I'm going to be after this. And another woman shared with me, I'm really struggling, Michelle, and I'm isolating.
Speaker: And that's not like me, but I find myself withdrawing. It's really hard. And, you know, maybe you're feeling some of that too right now. I want you to know you're not alone.
Speaker: Maybe you're trying to savor every second while also grieving every goodbye. Maybe you're quietly panicking in the in-between.
Speaker: Maybe you're feeling lonely, wondering if there is anyone else out there who might understand what you're going through, what you're feeling. And here's what I want you to know.
Speaker: Again, I'm going to say this because it's so important to say you are not alone. You are not alone i am here, we are here and we need each other as women. We need this community of box breakers.
Speaker: and And here's what I wanna say to you, and this is so important because I once ran away from my feelings. I didn't wanna feel what was uncomfortable, but it's so important. You've gotta feel the hurt.
Speaker: You've gotta let it hurt. You've gotta let it ache, let it wash over you like the tide. Let it wash over you.
Speaker: I often say you can't heal what you haven't been able to feel. You can't heal what you haven't allowed yourself to feel. You got to feel it to heal it.
Speaker: Because love like this, my dear friend, deserves to be felt all the way through to the other side.
Speaker: Love like this. Remind yourself when you want to Run away from the feeling when you don't want to feel that ache. Just say to yourself three words, love like this. Let it remind you that love like this, the love that we feel as mothers needs to be felt all the way through to the other side in this time of empty nesting.
Speaker: It's the only way we're going make it through and see the opportunity awaiting us.
Speaker: Now let's talk about what's on the other side of this this ache. this hurt, this pain that we're feeling.
Speaker: This space that you're entering, I know it's disorienting, I know, but it's also sacred.
Speaker: And maybe it's already happening, but know that there will be more quiet. There's going to be more quiet in your life. There's going to be more stillness There's going to be more space, less clutter, less chaos.
Speaker: And get ready because space, and i want you to hear me on this, space can feel like loss and liberation all at the same time. Space can feel like loss and liberation.
Speaker: Don't judge that. It just is what it is. Space can feel like loss and liberation. Honor that.
Speaker: And within the space, there is invitation. So here's the invitation I want to present to you. Instead of rushing to fill the space, as we all have a tendency to do as humans, right? We want to fill the pause. We want to fill the space quickly because it can be uncomfortable to sit there with it, in it.
Speaker: What if you got curious about what that space is here to reveal. so I'm going to say that again, instead of rushing to fill the space, what if you got curious about what that space is here to reveal?
Speaker: i believe that curiosity is key. We've got to stay curious in our lives and be awake to these moments and the opportunity within these moments, even the hard ones.
Speaker: So Ask yourself these questions. You can jot these down if you like. And again, they're here for you to come back to. But the first one is, what parts of me have been waiting patiently for my attention?
Speaker: I'll ask that again. What parts of me have been waiting patiently for my attention? That brings tears to my eyes. Just thinking about that, asking that question.
Speaker: That there may be parts of me that have been begging for my attention that I've been ignoring. And now in this moment, this sacred time of empty nesting where there is more space, I'm asking myself, finally, what has been patiently waiting for my attention?
Speaker: Jot down whatever comes to mind. No judging again, no judgment, just your truth on the page. And secondly, what dreams did I pack away because there was simply no time or space to nurture them?
Speaker: And don't be hard on yourself because that is very real. As mothers, our time is filled with the caring of others. But now that our kids are growing up and stepping out into their own lives, we have this space to ask ourselves, what were those dreams that I packed away lovingly, willingly?
Speaker: Because at the time I didn't have the time or the space to tend to them. Well, now that I do, so there's opportunity there. I'm gonna lean back into those dreams and those desires.
Speaker: And then finally, and I love this, I love this one. What kind of woman do I wanna become in this next chapter? What a beautiful question to ask yourself.
Speaker: What kind of woman do I wanna become in this next chapter when no one's schedule dictates my day but my own, right? In that space, what kind of woman do I wanna become That's what I mean about, you know, holding the loss and the liberation of this tender time in our lives. There is opportunity to start envisioning the woman that you're here to be, the the woman that you desire to become in this next chapter of your life.
Speaker: Who is she? What does she look like? What does she feel like? See her, envision her standing in the light of day
Speaker: and believe in the power of connecting with her because she's real. She's waiting inside of you. And that's why we unbox. We unbox to remember her.
Speaker: This is the work of unboxing, my friends. It's not to fix yourself. It's not to reinvent yourself, but it's to return to yourself.
Speaker: That woman who's waiting for your return.
Speaker: Unboxing is about opening the boxes of longing, opening that box up, being willing to look at it, to unpack the voice that you've silenced, and to welcome back with open arms the woman who once believed she was meant for more, that there was more for her to do.
Speaker: And maybe she took a little pause on some of those things for good reasons, to raise incredible human beings who are stepping out into their own lives now.
Speaker: But it's time to define what more means to you now.
Speaker: So if this episode, as I share with you, as I move you through these questions, if this episode is tugging at your heart, if anything I have said has given you a tingle on the inside, don't ignore that.
Speaker: I want to give you a gentle step forward, a gentle step forward.
Speaker: And here's a simple practice that you can do today. And again, it's tied into my unbox daily check in, right? Name the box. Okay. Step number one is always name the box you're in today.
Speaker: What is the box that you're feeling right now in this moment? Is it the box of grief?
Speaker: Is it the box of lost identity? it the box of isolation? What is the box that you feel you are living in today?
Speaker: Name the box you're in. No shame, no blame. Just name it and feel the freedom of naming it. Oh, it's the box of grief.
Speaker: That's where I am today. so okay. When we name it, we take our power back. When we name it, it loses its power over us.
Speaker: And then two, ask yourself what it's trying to teach you, this box that you find yourself in What's the deeper message underneath the sadness you feel, the grief you may be feeling, the anxiety, the sense of isolation,
Speaker: the sense of invisibility in your life. What is it trying to teach you? I truly believe that everything in life, every moment is a teacher.
Speaker: And i always ask myself, what is this moment, even the hardest moment here to teach me? What is it here to show me? How is it here to grow me? Ask that question.
Speaker: What is this trying to teach me? And then thirdly, write one small action down that honors you in this season. One small action. It doesn't have to be big.
Speaker: Just take action. You've made a decision to unbox. You've named the box. You've asked yourself, what is this trying to teach me? Now commit to taking one small action forward. It could be a walk.
Speaker: It could be sitting down and journaling setting your your clock for 10, 15 minutes in journal and journal on what's coming up for you. Get it out and onto the page.
Speaker: It could be taking a long bath or sitting out in nature and having a good cry. But take a small action today that honors you in this journey that you're on because this is all about presence with yourself.
Speaker: Presence with yourself. Because You don't have to have this all figured out. I don't have this all figured out, but I have tools to help me move forward even when I feel like I'm stuck in the mud and it starts with unboxing. You just have to be willing to meet yourself.
Speaker: You have to be willing to see the worthiness that's found within meeting yourself again and believing in that woman.
Speaker: believe in you. I don't say that lightly. I believe in you. And I want to help you believe in yourself.
Speaker: And if you're ready to do that deeper work, if you want safe place to bring your grief, to bring your questions, to bring your thoughts, to bring to
Speaker: I've created something just for you and I'm very excited to share this with you. It's a free 90 minute masterclass coming up and I'm calling it from grief to growth, unbox your identity and design your next chapter.
Speaker: A free masterclass, 90 minutes from grief to growth, unbox your identity and design your next chapter. What we're going to do is we're going to gather as midlife women. We're going to gather as empty nesters. We're going to name what hurts. Remember, name it.
Speaker: It's the first step. We're going to name what hurts together. And we're going to honor what's shifting in our lives. Remember, I call this season, this tender time, midlife shift.
Speaker: So much is shifting. We have to be able to look at that, to speak it out loud and to tend to it together.
Speaker: And we'll begin to design on purpose, with clarity, what is coming up next for us. What's next? We're going to design our next chapter together.
Speaker: We'll share. We'll laugh. We'll cry. We'll get real. We'll have fun. And we'll know that this isn't about moving on. It's about moving inward.
Speaker: reconnecting with the beautiful landscape of who you are within. and it's about standing in that sacred pause and saying, i matter too.
Speaker: and I get to become again. i'm matter too. And I am willing and ready to see the opportunity in this tender time of midlife shift.
Speaker: So how does that sound? So the link to the wait list is in the show notes. Go to it, check it out. I hope you'll join me. I want to see you there. There is nothing to fear, but there is a whole lot to discover and we're going to do it together.
Speaker: And I want you to recognize something. Just take this in. You gave so much of yourself. You have given so much of yourself over so many years and now You get to remember you.
Speaker: You get to remember. Unboxing is remembering.
Speaker: Because you're not lost. You are becoming. You're becoming. And this community of box breakers is how we begin to rise woman to woman.
Speaker: um tow Woman to woman. Because we heal in community. That is the most effective way to heal together with each other, holding space for one another, walking each other home to ourselves.
Speaker: We unbox together. That's what we do. So take a deep breath in. i'm going to do that with you and let it out slowly.
Speaker: Feels so good to connect to our breath. And let's keep walking bravely and boldly into what is next. Let's keep walking bravely and boldly into the opportunities that await us as midlife women.
Speaker: And I'll see you inside the masterclass.
Speaker: Thank you for joining me on Unboxed, Unburdened, Unstoppable. If today's stories sparked something in you, share this with a friend, subscribe, and commit to walking this path of power and purpose with us.
Speaker: Remember, unboxing your fears, doubts, and old stories is the key to unlocking the unstoppable woman inside you. Until next time, stay unboxed, unburdened, and unstoppable.
